All language subtitles for 36299999

Chucking yourself off, Vinnie?

You don't want to jump off there.

Not high enough.

- You'll just bugger your legs up.
- Yeah, all right.

Thanks, Ralph.
I'll bear that in mind, mate.

A tower block, that's what you need.

Or a fast-moving train.

See you, son.

Or not...

- (Dog whines)
- Come on, then. Come on.

♪ The best things in life are free

♪ But you can give them
To the birds and bees

♪ I need money... ♪

VINNIE: Fuck the middle class.
Fuck The Guardian.

Fuck three holidays a year
and drinking red wine

and talking bollocks at dinner parties.

So, fuck quinoa and "keen-oire".

Fuck scented candles.
You can fuck your people carriers

and your posh kids called Tilly and Tarquin.

Fuck moisturiser.
Fuck vitamins.

Fuck lacrosse and bloody tennis
and 18 holes on a fucking Sunday.

They call us "Blair's forgotten youth",

kids that grew up in a town
that offered nothing.

No opportunities,
no prospects, no hope.

But what they'll never understand is this...

We're not victims.
We just have a different way of living.

It's about having your mates, man.

Having a laugh
and just finding a way to survive.

- Tell me it's not looking thinner.
- You can't tell.

No, you can't tell
if you don't look properly, Dylan.

- It's fine.
- You see what I mean there?

- You're not even looking.
- I looked.

- Didn't I look?
- Yeah.

You are bloody glancing at it.

- What's less than a glance?
- Peeking.

- A glimpse.
- A glimpse! You're glimpsing.

Like, look properly.
Check it out, see?

You're a bit...

..follically challenged.

Fucking follically challenged?

- Watch out!
- Oh, shit! What was that?

- It's a pheasant.
- Where is it?

I don't know,
it's wedged in the fucking grille.

That's not a pheasant, Dylan.
That's a chicken.

Why would a chicken be roaming free?
It's a pheasant.

Why wouldn't a chicken be roaming?
It's a chicken.

- Look at the plumage.
- Fuck the plumage!

I cannot go bald!

- They're gaining.
- They're not gaining.

I'll lose them through Jim's field.

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh

♪ That's what I want

♪ Give me money

♪ That's what I want

♪ Oh, lots of money

♪ That's what I want

♪ All of these greens

♪ Yeah

♪ That's what I want. ♪

- Morning, lads.
- Morning.

- Morning, Jim.
- An early start, isn't it?

Yeah. Listen, if the cops turn up,
you haven't seen us.

Lie to the police?
That's perjury, that is.

That's perverting the course of justice.

Hey, I don't know what it is,

but it's something.

Just piss off.

We're gonna look at the plants,
keep our heads down.

You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.

- There's a job I need done.
- What job?

A Shetland pony.

- Yeah, you might need to elaborate.
- And fast, yeah?

I need one stolen so I can enter
the Royal Lancs Show this weekend.

- And why would you want to go and do that?
- There's a big purse on it.

- Purse?
- A fucking prize! Whatever!

Purse?
Who are you, Robin of fucking Loxley?

- We haven't got time for this, Jim.
- Fine!

Get all your weed plants off my farm

and your nicked wheels
out of my chicken shed.

Him, next door, Goldilocks...

..he's got himself a beaut.

A mane like silk.

It's got to be better, Vin.

Is that all this is?
One-upmanship?

Fucking Paslowski!

He shouldn't even be here any more.

I voted Leave

and that cunt's just bought a nice big baler!

- A fucking Shetland pony!
- You'll get one.

Christ Almighty!
Just get up the fucking hill.

He is a horrible, horrible little man.

Ow, my fucking hand, Dylan!
You've done that three times this week!

VINNIE: These are my guys.

That's Dylan,
he's been my best mate since school, him.

We bonded over ganja and hip-hop.

Ashley Dennings and Lesley Titt,

AKA Cardi,

Cardi being short for cardiac arrest.

He's fucking damn near useless,
but we love the daft git.

Ashley's the complete opposite,
he comes from a travelling family.

He can switch to extreme violence
at a moment's notice.

Which makes him kind of handy
to have around, really.

Fucking Shetland pony!

And that's me, Vincent O'Neill.

They say I've got bipolar.
I live in a shack in the woods.

And if that wasn't bad enough,
I'm going bald an' all.

Where am I going to find one of them?

I've got the day from hell
and now I've got to find a tiny horse.

I know.

Ash.

If your mind has just gone,
"Ash, gypsy blood, horses,"

well, that's pretty much racism.

All right, do you know where
to find one, though?

Of course I do.

- Brilliant. Right, well, take him, then.
- No, I'm working.

- Fucking take him, then.
- Where are you in all this?

Have I not just said?
I've got the day from hell.

I've got a million things to do.
I'm asking you to do one thing.

I've got a million things.
A million things!

Bollocks!
I need to get this car to JJ.

I've got to go to the bloody doctor's yet.

The last thing I need to do
is steal a miniature horse!

Ralph Roberts said he saw him
on a bridge contemplating.

Shit.

- Oh, crap...
- What is it?

I think he's g-g-getting his arse out again.

- Christ.
- Let me have a look.

Have a look down there.

He is getting his arse out again.
Why does he do this, man?

He's got the world's worst arse.

JJ?

- It's the wrong bleeding car.
- Huh?

It's the right colour, it's the right style,
it's the wrong fucking year, mate.

You're going to have to unsteal this.

VINNIE: JJ, Jehan Javani.

Legitimate mechanic,
but has a sideline in stolen motors.

This is bullshit, Vin.

And why the fuck is there a dead pheasant
attached to it?

- Thank you, pheasant.
- It's a chicken, Dylan.

- Pheasant.
- Oh, come on, it's a chicken.

- My God, it's a pheasant.
- It's a chicken!

No, no, stop.
Listen.

I'll unsteal it,
but it's going to have to be later, man.

No, not later. Now. This can't stay.
I can't get fucking caught with this here.

Put a shagging cover over it.
I need to be somewhere.

Just one hour.
Please, dude, one hour.

(He sighs heavily)

You're an angel, is what you are.

While you've got your wings on,
and don't get cross,

I need to borrow a van.

- What kind of van?
- Any kind.

As long as it's big enough to fit,
say, a kind of, erm...

A medium-sized horse.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Right, well, it's that or nothing.

Come on.

Come on!

- Bacon? You've been cooking?
- Yeah, I'm starving.

What have you been told about red meat?

It's a m-m-myth.
We're m-mammals.

- M-M-Meat is...
- Right, no more Ms.

- Besides, Nigel likes it.
- Nigel?

(Pigeon coos)

Why the fuck have you brought a pigeon?

His sister died.

She got decapitated in a folding deckchair.

I thought it was best
he w-w-wasn't on his own.

So...w-w-what's the plan?

- Where are we going to lift it from?
- There's a school up in Ryebrook.

It's a posh place.

Just up the hill, there's a stable

with not one, but two Shetland ponies.

OK, but how are w-w-we going to get it
to go with us?

Well, we lead it by the rein.

Have you ever tried to get a horse
to do something against its w-w-will?

- No. But I bet you have.
- You're going to call me a genius.

- Chloroform.
- Chlor...?

Chloroform?

I bought it down the pub
a few w-w-weeks back.

It was really cheap.

You get this on a rag,
over its hooter and down it goes.

That's genius.

Put the chloroform away.

I don't...

Oh, I'm coming!
I'm coming!

Don't you dare.
Don't you dare come.

(She pants)

- I still haven't.
- All right, finish on my tits.

Yeah, all right.

VINNIE: That's Erin.
She used to be a wild child,

but shagging around
landed her with a kid.

Since then,
she's really pulled herself together.

These days, she's a woman with a plan.

- 3:30, infants' gate, yeah?
- Yeah.

- Hey...
- Now, you can't forget, Dylan.

- Why would I forget?
- Because...

..you'll meet up with Vinnie,
get stoned, the usual.

I won't forget.

And it's careers night tonight.
I'm going to ask them about opportunities.

It's going to happen, Dylan.
As soon as I'm qualified,

I'm applying for jobs and looking for schools.

- Yeah.
- Right, I won't be back until late, OK?

- Bye-bye.
- I love you.

Right, he's going to need a bath, story, bed.
Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Bye.

(Bucket of water splashes)

- Where's the car, Vinnie?
- What car's that, Slater?

- The one you nicked this morning.
- You must have the wrong man.

I'm surprised you're out so early.

I thought you'd be balls deep in a dog
somewhere by now.

It's small-time now, Vin.
But small-time leads to medium-time.

And medium-time
inevitably gets drawn into the big-time.

And once you get involved
with them fuckers,

you're gonna wish you'd got yourself a job
behind the fish counter at Morrisons.

I applied for that job. They were
looking for somebody with mussels.

- Fuck off, Slater.
- Fucking dick.

What have you done this time?

Oh, nothing.
But I'm sure they'll think of summat.

All clear?

(Pigeon coos)

All clear.

Right, there's two of them.
One blond and one white and ginger.

Which one do you think screams
prize-winner?

(He chuckles)

The one with the biggest cock.

Right, so...

..who wants a little treat?

VINNIE: I know I've got a good life.
I've got good mates.

And it's not like shit's going wrong
all the time. I just...

I just can't turn my mind off.

It just runs and runs and runs
and never stops, man.

You know, one minute,
I'm down in the dumps,

I can barely get myself out of bed.

The next minute, I'm fucking up,
wild as fuck,

making stupid decisions
that affect everyone, not just me.

And I do,
I do think about hurting myself.

You know, I have suicidal thoughts.

That doesn't mean I'm bloody suicidal,
though, does it?

I just have the thoughts.
Christ, I was on a bridge last Friday.

Ralph Roberts
thought I was tossing myself off.

(He chuckles)

Throwing myself off.

But what I'm trying to say is...

..for as often as I think about suicide,
I could never, ever do it.

No, it scares the shit out of me.

You know, then there's my mates.
I don't know what they'd...

Are you all right?

- Am I keeping you from something?
- Sorry. No, it's just, erm...

I don't know, it's just...
a personal issue.

Erm...

- So, you're on Quetiapine.
- Mm.

Is it helping?

It doesn't help my libido.

I can barely be bothered to rub one out,
never mind get with anyone.

Well...

..what do you want me to do, Vin?

Well, I don't know.
You're the doctor, aren't you?

Well, you could try counselling.

Cognitive behavioural therapy.

But there's a five-month waiting list for that.

- Unless you're prepared to pay.
- Pay?

What do you mean, like, go private?

- I don't have that kind of money, man.
- (Text message alert)

How...?

Give me that phone.

- No.
- Get off.

"Net-a-Lover. Amy, 35."

I'm pouring my heart out,
you're on a dating app netting lovers.

Have you tried it?
It's unbelievable.

Honest, it's changed my life.
Look at this...

I met this girl the other day.
She was feral.

- Look at her.
- Oh, she looks nice.

My todger looks like a dog's been at it.
Look at that.

What...? Bloody hell!
Come on, man.

Aw...

- That looks really sore.
- And this. That's me.

Argh...!

(He tuts at the pigeon)

- What happened? Did it bolt?
- Bolt? No. It's in the van.

In the van?

I offered it a chocolate mouse
and it just climbed in the back.

- It's a dumb animal.
- C-C-CAN I have one?

♪ I'm goin' up the country

♪ Baby, don't you want to go?

♪ I'm goin' up the country

♪ Baby, don't you want to go? ♪

I still say we should have chloroformed it.

Look, it's in the van.

Yeah, but, look at...

(Splatting in the back of the van)

Oh, God, what's that?
Has it shat itself?

- Well, it's a horse. That's what horses do.
- Oh, you dirty...!

- Nigel!
- (Chloroform bottle smashes)

What the fuck is...?

(Van horn blares)

(Loud crash)

(Pony whinnies)

- One hour after work.
- Tommo, I can't. I've got Erin's kid.

Bring him along.

Bring him along to help you fit
a sex swing in a spunky basement?

Hey, hey...

VINNIE: Tommo,
handsome, crafty, unhinged.

You wouldn't want him
hanging out the back of your sister.

He's had chlamydia more often
than he's had hot dinners.

- It's an erotic dungeon.
- It's not an erotic dungeon.

Hasn't it got lice?

Hang on, what time have you got him till?

All night.
Why?

Er, are you not forgetting something?

- Poker match upstairs at 7:30.
- Count me out.

Count you out?
It's free money, mate.

It's my money.
It's Vinnie's money.

Anyway, it's all arranged.
Sandy will look after him.

- Won't you, Sandy?
- You what, love?

- Babysit Tyler tonight for Dylan.
- Oh, boys, you know I would if I could.

Dylan! Dylan! Dylan!
Hey up, Tommo.

- Have you heard from Ash or Cardi?
- Radio silence.

Where the fuck are they?
I've tried them 100 times.

- They're probably bumming.
- Yeah, that'll be it.

They'll be bloody bumming.
Won't they, knobhead?

They've been gone hours.
I should've done this fucking job myself.

Why do I trust these morons?

Dude, just get your stuff together
so we can go.

I told you, I'm here till three,
then I'm picking Tyler up from school.

Not any more, you're not.
Hang on a second.

- Kath, love.
- Are you all right, Vin?

Yeah, all right, love.

Can I borrow Dildo for a couple of hours?

Why do you need him?

Because I've just lost two idiots
I sent to steal a Shetland pony.

Well, as long as it's something important.

- Have you got your car?
- Yeah.

- Oh, you're an angel, dude.
- If...

..you help me fit a sex swing in my dungeon.

Every fucker wants something!

MAN: ..often the same products
are available throughout the world.

So, if part of the reason for travel
is to explore the unique and different,

well, then, the sameness factor

is a major tourism challenge.

The globalised marketplace
means the...

- It's just a drink.
- I've got a boyfriend.

- One drink.
- I've got a son, as well.

- A son?
- Yep.

- You don't look old enough.
- Smooth.

No, seriously, you don't.

- How old?
- Five.

It wasn't planned.
But he's the best mistake I ever made.

Right.

- Put you off, has it?
- No.

Well, it should.

Every decision I make has got one purpose,
and that's to give him a better life.

And your boyfriend, does he fit into that?

What, Dylan?

I'm afraid so.

This school, is this the one
that Ash's fella taught at?

Yeah.
The poor busted.

Cranial trauma.
They reckon he'll never teach again.

Yeah.
Fucking animals, his family.

I mean, come on,

who gives a shit
where anyone sticks their dick any more?

- Do you know what I mean?
- Mm.

I have businessmen, barristers, brigadiers
come to my place.

Some want spanking,
some want to take it up the shitter.

I had a lovely fella in the other day

who wanted me to lick some custard
off his nuts. Fair dos.

No, the point being, we're mammals, yeah?

Creatures with urges.

Whether it's arseholes, fannies or,
you know, some granny's gummy cakehole,

dicks are gonna go in soft, warm holes.
End of.

You're an ambassador
for a more tolerant society, Tom.

- Christ Almighty. Do a left here, will you?
- Right, yeah.

Oh, bollocks!

They haven't even took it, dude.

- Maybe they found one somewhere else.
- Where?

The cereal aisle at Aldi?
Christ.

Erm...

All right, sod it.

What are you doing, Vin?

Vin, you're not being rational.
Vin!

How are you going to get him back to Jim's?

- The back seat. You can walk.
- But I'm picking up Tyler!

Fucking hell.

Yes, you can, you silly sod.

Don't fucking frighten it.

- Come on, then.
- What?

- Oi!
- (Shotgun blasts)

- Fucking hell!
- Jesus!

- (Gunshot)
- Jesus!

- Vinnie!
- (Gunshot)

- (Gunshot)
- He's trying to kill us, Vinnie!

- (Gunshot)
- Vinnie!

No, no, no, no.

- Vinnie! Run!
- (Gunshot)

Vinnie!

Run!

Run!

Can you leave the fucking horse, mate,
and stop fucking about?!

(Gunshot)

Vin!

Vinnie!

(Gunshots)

What is he doing?!

Oh, fuck me, hey?
Oh, now we're living.

- He could have fucking killed us.
- He was aiming to miss, dude.

- You fucking prick!
- Oh, don't be grumpy.

Dill... Dylan...

Don't be cross.

- Sex swing.
- All right.

Oh, come on, come on...
For fuck's sake.

- Are you seeing anyone?
- Me? Christ, no.

You know what I'm like.
I can't inflict this on anyone, can I?

They're hardly queueing up
for a bipolar thief that lives in the woods.

Do you want me to sort you out a paid-for,
so you can empty your sac?

No, it's a lovely offer, Tom.
But I've no libido.

- How's business?
- Oh, booming, yeah.

Is it?

They're all getting into
that space docking now.

I've had to take up the carpet.

Hi.
No, Tyler Croft.

Yeah, Croft!

Sorry, the reception is bad.
You know, I'm in the hills.

Erm...Croft.

Yeah, I'm collecting him,
but I'm running late.

Can you tell his teacher I'll be there as...?

Fuck!

Foot down and straight to the school.

Chillout, panicking Skywalker.

He's five.
They're not going to toss him out on his own.

No, they'll ring Erin
and then she'll know

I've done the exact thing
she told me not to do.

What, she told you
not to go looking for two morons

who got lost stealing a Shetland pony?

- Christ, she must really know you, Dylan.
- Just go faster.

Why do I listen to you?!

Every time!

How does it work?
My day was planned.

And then, as usual, you appear
and you derail everything.

Derail every...? Do you know,
what's that you've got there?

You've got a mind of your own.
I'll tell you why you're here, Dylan.

Cos you bloody well want to be.

So, if you're looking for someone to blame,
piss off and blame yourself, you dizzy bugger.

- Mind the bloody bend, Tommo!
- Jesus!

(Tyres screech)

Dill...
Dill, it's the bloody van.

Have they crashed through
the fucking hedge?

Cardi!

Whoa, whoa...!

- Bloody fumes or something.
- It's chloroform.

If that's on their clothes,
we'll all be on the deck.

Well, how are we gonna get them out?

- Cover your face. Arm each. Ash first.
- All right.

- I'll take Cardi.
- What, on your own?

- You'll put your back out. Get the pony.
- Pony?

We still need the bloody horse, Dylan!

- I'm supposed to be at Tyler's school!
- Pony!

The dude is breathing weird.

It's on his jeans.
They'll have to come off.

Right, I'll get his jeans off.
You go and get Cardi.

It's all right, dude.
It's all right, mate.

Whoa, whoa...!

- What, what?
- Blood and sand, dude.

- Jesus Christ.
- What?

His knob's massive!

- Didn't you know?
- Well, no, I didn't know.

- Did you know?
- Of course.

How?

I just knew.

We're going to need an ambulance.

Thanks!

I was on my way, right?
I swear to you.

I was on my way
and then we swerved, right?

We almost hit a horse.

And that is when we found the others
and I couldn't just leave them.

They were in a bad way.

Will you just please, please go to college?

Go back to careers night,
because I will stay here, I swear.

Argh!

What are you so afraid of?

Achieving something?

Actually participating in the world?
What?

Like, maybe I just like getting stoned
and stealing things.

Oh, fine.

Fine, you tell yourself that.

Tell yourself that's all you're capable of.

There's a smart brain in there, Dylan.
You do nothing with it.

Yeah, well, you try playing
six games of poker simultaneously.

- Oh, fuck off.
- It was a joke.

Erin, what am I supposed to do?

Hey?
What, put a suit on?

Go and tap a keyboard
in some fucking industrial estate

and chat crap with Martin from accounts?

"All right, Martin, mate?
How are you doing, man? Good weekend?

"Did you watch the footy?"
Fuck you.

Don't make me out to be the sensible one,
all right?

I'm not... I'm not telling you
to go and put a suit on, am I?

But stealing cars and tiny horses,
really, Dylan...

What, is that your career, is it?

You know what?
You're going to end up in prison.

You are.

Or next time,
you'll swerve, hit a fucking wall

and I'm burying you next to your stupid mate.

I'm worried about him.

- Why?
- If we leave...

- When we leave...
- Mm.

..who is going to look after him?

- He'll survive, Dylan.
- Yeah?

Yeah.

Then why has he been seen
on the edge of a bridge?

All right.

All right, so, what?

What are we going to do?
We're going to stay here for ever, are we?

You can't dedicate your life
to Vinnie watch, Dylan.

And have you thought
that he might be on the bridge

cos you told him
you're thinking about leaving?

- No, that's shit.
- Is it? He's bipolar.

He's on meds.
He doesn't need you, Dylan.

He wants you.

Having you around
stops him thinking about his own life.

You endorse each other.

Look, just...

..go to college.

All right?
Come on, I'm here.

And I will not leave this house, right?
I promise.

Hey?

Come on. Come on.

TOMMO:
Get Dylan at that card game tonight.

He's playing with our money
and I need them winnings.

I need them, too. But you heard him earlier
having a bloody go at me.

There's a big purse available, Vin.

- He's the best player there is.
- Purse...

What is it with everyone
and the word purse?

- Listen, I'll do my best.
- All right, Vin?

(Whipping and moaning in background)

Are you all right, Geoff?

How's your mum?

Oh, she's over the worst now.
Thanks for asking.

- All right, well, send her my love.
- I will.

Good stuff.

Is, erm...?

(He sighs heavily)

Is that your horse in the yard?

Geoffrey, that one's spoken for.

Cheeky bastard.

Hey?

- It's blond.
- So?

So, I didn't ask you to steal a blond one,
did I?

No, dickhead.
You didn't specify.

You said, "Steal me a pony."
So, there.

Whoever owns it
is going to recognise it a mile off.

Jimbo, I don't know what to tell you.
You said, "Steal me a pony."

So, I got you one.
Bloody hell!

- Hang on.
- Oh...

I've got an idea.

Lose The Grey?

I couldn't shift the bloody stuff.

Fuck sake.

I'm doing all right.

You've got to get right under the layers,
you see?

The devil's in the detail.

You fucking missed a bit!

I don't like being behind it.

- I think this is going to bloody work.
- This is well going to work.

Make sure you don't miss the legs.

There's not, like, a surplus of tiny horses
knocking around.

It's a Shetland pony, not an horse.

There we go.

Look, I've told you,
I'll cover for you.

No.

You'll make enough in one night
to see you and Erin right for a month.

- I'm with Tyler. I gave my word.
- Yeah, you did.

You gave your word,
you gave your word to Tommo

and you gave your word to me.
You know, I've got a hole in my roof?

Hey?
I've got a fucking hole.

I'm sleeping in a sou'wester
and bloody long johns.

I look ridiculous.
Listen to the logic, right.

- Erin's out till ten o'clock, yeah?
- Yeah.

- Tyler's going to be in bed, isn't he?
- Yeah.

And you'll be sat downstairs
watching bollocks on YouTube.

So, if I'm sat downstairs
watching bollocks on YouTube,

what's the bloody difference?

No.

As long as you're back before she is,
what's the difference, Dylan?

No!
Mate, no means no, all right?

- I'm hanging up the phone.
- No, don't. Don't hang up the phone.

I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have shouted.

How about this?

I'll ring Big Sandy
and I'll see if she can babysit.

She can't.

And even if she could, no.

Vin, you're doing that thing where
you don't think about anyone but yourself.

Think of anyone but my...?

Dylan, I'm trying to make you money!
I'm trying to make you the money!

I'll do it. I'll do it.
I'll count cards.

I can fucking bluff.
I can do all that.

And when I fucking win,
which I actually will, you're getting zilch.

Fuck all.
Sweet FA, dude.

So, come pissing and whingeing to me
when you and Erin are skint.

Fuck!

- (Phone rings)
- Oh...!

Shit.

Hey up, JJ.
What's going on, mate?

Oh, just shut it.
I've had the police at my garage.

- You need to get them wheels out of there.
- All right.

It's just...
It's been a fucking nightmare day.

- Look, have you diverted them?
- Yes.

But just get rid.
Get me the one I asked for.

- I will.
- You've sent me to drink.

Fucking drink!

JJ?

J...?

Fuck!

(Phone rings)

Are you all right, Dill?

- What can I get you, gents?
- Vincent O'Neill.

Who?

I said, I'm looking for Vincent O'Neill.
Do you know where he is?

- No.
- A skinny lad. Receding hairline.

We need to find him.

- Are you all right?
- Two rules.

Don't eat anything.

- And don't smoke indoors.
- Sound.

And...

..do not take your shoes off.

Cos that stink lingers.

That's three rules.

♪ I don't feel that way

♪ And you told me you'd forgiven me
For everything... ♪

Who are they?

- They work for Terence McCann.
- Who?

Terence McCann.
Businessman, in inverted commas.

Apparently, he isn't very happy

because one of his daughter's ponies
has been stolen.

Shit.
Vinnie...

(Phone rings)

JJ, I've unstolen it, man.
I've got to get you a new one tomorrow.

Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie.
There's a problem.

All right, that fucking pony,

- you have to get it back.
- What?

It belongs to Terence McCann.
And he said...

Terence fucking...?

- Who the fuck...?
- (Phone buzzes)

Hang on a minute.
A call coming through here.

All right.

Jim, what's going on, man?

I've just seen a flashlight heading
down the path towards your shack, Vin.

You want to check you haven't got visitors.

Oh, shit.

All right, I'm on my way.

♪ Don't believe me if I tell you

♪ Not a word of this is true

♪ Don't believe me if I tell you

♪ Especially if I tell you
I'm in love with you

♪ Don't believe me if I tell you

♪ That I wrote this song for you

♪ That's it's not just
Some other silly pretty girl

♪ I'm singing to

♪ Don't believe a word

♪ For words are so easily spoken

♪ And your heart
Is just like that cup

♪ Made to be broken... ♪

(Phone buzzes)

(He clears his throat)

Shit...

All right, I'm armed.
I don't want any trouble.

Dad!

You're going a bit thin there, son.

Hey?

Piss off.

- What, she's thrown you out again, has she?
- No.

- Her husband's got an early release.
- Oh.

Mm.

(He snores gently)

Right, I've got to go.
But I'll see you later. See you tomorrow.

Fuck's sake!

- I didn't know you had a unicycle.
- All right, Jake?

Lift?

- Throw the bike in the back.
- Er...

No, you're all right.
I'll get a bus. It's fine.

I've got a Duran Duran CD.

(He chuckles)

Dad's car.

Yeah, OK.
All right, thank you.

What the bloody hell is going on, Dill?

- It's not my night.
- Make it your night.

- You're better than these twats.
- Look, mate, I can't focus.

No, no, no.
You're losing a lot of money, sweetheart.

And more importantly, yeah,
you're losing a lot of my money.

- What do you want me to say?
- Nothing exists outside of this room, Dylan.

Now, sit the fuck back down
and do what you do best.

All right?

There's a good lad.

♪ Wild boys, never losing

♪ Wild boys never chose this way

♪ Wild boys, never close your eyes

♪ Wild boys always...

Sing it.

♪ Shine!

You know it! You know it!

Oh, hey...

How's it going, mate?

- Where am I?
- Oh, I've had to take you out for a bit.

But I'm sorry,
I'm going to take you home now.

Do you live there?

- I live there.
- Can I go inside?

No, not really.
I've got to get you home, dude.

- Please.
- There's a fat, bald monster in there.

- You're not going to like it.
- Oh, please.

Yeah, go on.
Five minutes.

We're not staying long, you know?

So, this is home, is it?

For now, yeah.

Let's just say it doesn't feature
in the masterplan.

It looks all right.

There's thousands of towns like this
all over the country, getting by.

No-one gives a shit about them
until it turns into the Wild West.

But I want my son to know different.
Do you know what I mean?

Do you fancy continuing

this dissection of societal disintegration
over a pint?

You're not easily put off, are you?

No, I need to get back.

Dylan's looking after Tyler.

You've got a boyfriend,
you've got a son.

So, best friends?

- All right, one pint. One.
- Mm.

Aren't you scared being out here
on your own at night?

No.
Am I heck.

I love being out here in the woods.

The woods is the only place
I can get a bit of bloody peace.

- Can I bring my mummy?
- Of course you can.

You can bring her any time you want.
Yeah. Of course.

My mum can bounce an egg on her head.

- Can she really?
- Yes.

No, she can't.
Can she really?

My God, that's some bloody skill, isn't it?
I can't.

I love your mum.

She's an egg-traordinary woman.

(Tyler laughs)

- What's your mum like?
- My mum, she's not around any more.

- Is she dead?
- No, she's not dead.

- She just went away when I was little.
- Like my dad?

Yeah. Yeah.

Even though I hope she'll come back,
you know.

I think that's why I stay in this town.

So that, if she does come back,

you know, she might know where to find me,
you see.

I like the funny dog.

Oh, thanks.

It's an owl.

Are you all right, Kath?

Can I have a pint of lager
and a pint of Guinness, please?

- For your new fella?
- No, he's a college mate.

I believe you.
Thousands wouldn't.

Mind you, it'd be a bold move
bringing your fancy man in your own local.

Especially with them lot all upstairs.

- What lot?
- Poker game. Dylan's in there.

Wanker!

Erin! Erin!

Erin, wait!
Erin! Tyler's fine.

Vinnie's looking after him.
He's safe at home.

Do you want to buy some chloroform?

Vinnie's looking after him!

♪ And when I sleep, I sleep alone

♪ Alone

♪ Alone... ♪

Good evening?

Shit.

You?

- Terrible.
- What happened?

- Vinnie.
- Erin.

Thanks for minding him for me.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

- Can we have a minute?
- (He scoffs)

Listen, it's my fault, you know.
I shouldn't have...

It's not, it's not.

It's his, cos he listens to you.

There's three of us in this, isn't there?

In this relationship.

Well, if there is,
I'm the one getting the least sex.

(He laughs)

(He clears his throat)

I'm not saying it's you or me, Vin, OK?

I'll never make that threat.

But one day soon, I will leave with Tyler
and I won't be coming back.

And he needs to decide
what life he wants.

I'm glad to see you're both awake.
How are you feeling?

- Terrible.
- Heartbroken.

- Nigel.
- Never mind bloody Nigel.

Honest to God, he's a bird.
And he's free now, so just be happy for him.

- Fucking chloroform!
- It's his st-st-stupid fault.

If he'd let me use it on the horse,
none of this would have happened.

- Oh, it's my fault!
- When are they gonna let you out?

In a few days. Apparently,
it takes a while to leave the system.

But you know what they say
about convalescence.

- Fresh air.
- Here's your sack.

No!

Get off me! No!

No!

No, no, get off me!

♪ Big tings running through my mind

♪ I think about them all the time

♪ I'm gonna do my ting
The way I wanna do it

♪ And everything will be all right

♪ Big tings burning up my soul

♪ I think I'm about to lose control

♪ Do I tell myself
That I can get through it?

♪ Maybe I'll never know

♪ Big tings all in my brain

♪ Big tings got me again

♪ Oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh

♪ Big tings gonna have their way

♪ I think about them every day

♪ Do I step inside
And enjoy the ride?

♪ To hell with what people say... ♪

Your pony's a cunt.

Your pony's a cunt.

Vincent O'Neill?

- Who's asking?
- Terence McCann.

He wants to discuss small horses.

You must have the wrong lad.
I don't know what you're talking about.

Have it your way.

But a word to the wise.

He's not a man to make an enemy of.

VINNIE: Sometimes it's only later,
when you look back,

you realise when the turning point came.

The moment in your life
when everything changed.

For me.

For us.

Christ, for all of us.

It was stealing a blond Shetland pony

for a xenophobic farmer.

♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind

♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind

♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind. ♪