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1
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:10,836
Calvin, this place is
a real hot spot.
2
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,187
They're known for
their Rosé Lemonades.
3
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:16,407
Did you order these
for our wives
4
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:19,236
or is the cast of
Sex and the Cityon the way?
5
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,630
No, Calvin, these are for us.
6
00:00:21,673 --> 00:00:23,197
I had a rough day
at work today.
7
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,155
We are about to get
sorority girl wasted.
8
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:29,072
Nobody's getting wasted
off this Kool-Aid.
9
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,291
Whoa.
10
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,424
[sorority girl voice]:
Oh, my God.
11
00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:36,340
Take my keys.
I, like, can't drive.
12
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:39,517
DAVE:
Calvin, look.
13
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,954
It's Jerome Bettis.
14
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:43,913
He's an NFL legend,
and he's just sitting there
15
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:46,002
drinking a Rosé Lemonade.
16
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,656
Look at that.
17
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:50,050
Stars,
they're just like us.
18
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,097
Dave, that is not Jerome Bettis.
19
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:57,927
Oh, my God, I was right.
That's Jerome Bettis.
20
00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,233
I'll be right back.
21
00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:02,497
Jerome Bettis?
22
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,151
My man!
23
00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,674
Hey, look.
You don't know me,
24
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:08,155
but I'm married to your
old friend, Tina Plummer.
25
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:09,721
Lil' Tee Tee?
26
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:12,376
Small world!
How is she?
27
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,335
Oh, well,
she's Big Tee Tee now.
28
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:15,640
[chuckles]
29
00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:16,859
Not... not bigbig.
30
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,949
But old.
But not oldold.
31
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,083
She's fine.
32
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,301
Jerome?
33
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,476
Dave Johnson.
34
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:26,477
That's on the house.
35
00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:28,392
Looks like we, uh,
36
00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:30,351
all have the same taste buds.
37
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:33,136
Careful, these lemonades
sneak up on you.
38
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,095
Yeah, but, uh,
39
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,967
athletes like us can
handle our juice, right?
40
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:42,102
How much you bench? 185?
41
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,930
In the fifth grade.
42
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,367
[elevator bell dings]
43
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,977
Hey, guys.
44
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,196
Jerome?
45
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:52,590
If it isn't Lil' Tee
Tee from the LBC?
46
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,070
[Tina laughing]
47
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,506
Romy, Romy.
48
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:56,855
Well, you know
I'm straight out of Compton.
49
00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:58,988
You've seen the movie.Yeah, yeah.
50
00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:00,859
Calvin...
51
00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:02,513
Hey, Gemma.
Dave Johnson.
52
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,167
Kalamazoo born and raised.
53
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,342
Okay.
54
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:06,474
I guess I'm driving.
55
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:07,562
Oh, wow.
56
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:09,912
So, uh, what are you doing here?
57
00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,392
Well, I'm in
town on business.
58
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,176
Uh, I've got a shoot over
at the Rose Bowl tomorrow.
59
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,352
Oh.
Oh. You know,
that's by our house.
60
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,789
Tina and I would love for you
to come over for dinner.
61
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,791
Oh, well,
I'm sure Jerome is busy.
62
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,707
Well, actually, I am
free tomorrow night.
63
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:25,710
You know, room service--
it gets real old, real fast.
64
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,408
Ah.Well, there it is.
65
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,410
Tomorrow night,
it's going down!
66
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,413
Looks like we're
getting on The Bus!
67
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:35,677
Next stop: Touchdown!
68
00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:42,727
Sorry, but my friend
is sorority girl wasted.
69
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,686
Okay, that's enough for you,
Kelly-Jo.
70
00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:46,253
Come on.
71
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,211
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
72
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,256
♪ Welcome to the hood.
73
00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:58,917
Ooh, Jerome was so cute
in his Geico ad.
74
00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:02,617
Mm, back in the day, I would
have let him bundle my policies.
75
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,793
[laughs]
76
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,186
Aw, why didn't you two date?
77
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,274
Oh, we did.
78
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:08,449
[gasps]
79
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,015
Every summer
80
00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:12,888
in high school, I would
visit my granny in Detroit.
81
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:15,238
So I met Jerome
in my senior year,
82
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:18,502
and, uh, you know, we had
a cute little teenage romance.
83
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:20,548
Aw. Does Calvin know?
84
00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:23,464
No. I would've told him,
but when we started dating,
85
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:26,510
he had a "Don't Ask, Leave
the Past in the Past" rule.
86
00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,208
Ah.
87
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,687
When we started dating,
88
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:32,255
Dave had
a "Do Ask, Do Tell" rule.
89
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:35,084
He even told me his first crush
was Nancy Reagan.
90
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,043
And yet you still married him.
91
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:40,263
Mm-hmm.
92
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:43,092
Eventually, though, his honesty
policy grew on me.
93
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,137
He's the ultimate open book.
94
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:46,965
He'll tell anybody anything.
95
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,053
Hmm.
Watch.
96
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,447
Dave?
97
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:51,666
Yes, sweetie?
98
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,276
How many people
have you slept with?
99
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,669
Six.
Three.
100
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,281
Six? You told me
it was three.
101
00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,456
Did I?
102
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,459
Wait, did you lie
about your number?
103
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,331
Hmm.
104
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:05,723
[high voice]:
Did I?
105
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,684
That's the same
voice you had
106
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:12,687
when I asked you if you
dinged my car last week.
107
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,079
[higher voice]:
Is it?
108
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,212
BOTH:
Yes, it is.
109
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:23,306
All right, you got it,
little man?Yeah, I got it.
110
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,700
I said, you got it, little man?Yeah, I got it!
111
00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:27,702
All right.
One, two, three.
112
00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:29,617
[groans]Yeah, I don't got it.
113
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:30,879
D'oh!
114
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:33,316
Hey, Marty, how come you're not
115
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,404
helping us get ready
for Poker Night?
116
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:35,840
Well, I am, man.
117
00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:37,581
I'm busy making snacks.
118
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,975
Uh, yeah, that'll be
three large pizzas.
119
00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:41,411
Ooh, and some
mozzarella sticks.
120
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:44,196
Okay, yeah, and-and two dozen
mozzarella sticks.
121
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,981
Yeah, Malcolm,
give me your debit card.
122
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:47,417
What?
123
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,332
I didn't budget
for no damn mozzarella sticks.
124
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,336
And yet you got enough money
in your budget
125
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,816
for a Captain Kirk Snuggie.
126
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,339
It was a collector's edition.
127
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:57,645
That's an investment.
128
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,171
Man, playing poker is
so much more funner
129
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:03,651
than doing my English homework.
130
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,348
More funner?
131
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,828
Yeah, you might want
to try "more harder"
132
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,090
on that homework, brother.
133
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:10,962
And, yeah, uh, listen.
134
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:12,921
We appreciate you
helping us set up,
135
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,444
but tonight's for adults only.
136
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:15,967
I'm sorry, Grover.
137
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,491
Aw, come on.
138
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,580
We got mozzarella sticks coming.
139
00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,973
Ooh. Hey, you know what?
I'll save you some.
140
00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:23,453
Fine.
141
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:26,064
Didn't want to come
to your awesome party anyway.
142
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:30,982
Look, oh, well.
143
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,462
These poker nights can get
kind of wild, Marty.
144
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:34,464
It's no place for kids.
145
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,205
And maybe not for you, either.
146
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:38,338
Yeah.
Last time, you lost $100.
147
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,557
Yeah, but this time,
I'm prepared.
148
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,167
I've created a foolproof system
149
00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,344
that calculates the odds
by running every permutation
150
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:48,260
of any given hand to create
an advantage in my favor.
151
00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:49,784
So, you're counting cards?
152
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,394
Yeah, basically.
153
00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:53,918
[knocking at door][grunts]
154
00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:55,224
It's, it's...
155
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,530
Hey, dude, hey.
What's up, man?
156
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,314
Good morning.Hey! Sidney!
Yo, yo, yo,
157
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,489
yo, yo.
158
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,012
Hey, this is my cousin,
Whitney.
159
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,579
She likes poker,
so I brought her.
160
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:04,059
No, I brought you.
161
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,190
I'm the one
with the car.
162
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,453
Oh.
163
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:08,019
Why are you always telling
family business?
164
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,194
Why you always broke?
165
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,109
[laughing]
166
00:06:11,153 --> 00:06:12,546
[mutters]Okay.
167
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:14,069
Well, I got to warn you,
Whitney,
168
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,158
I have a math-based system
that tells me
169
00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:17,420
there's an 86% chance
170
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,074
that I'm going to take
93% of your money.
171
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,772
Well, I have a system that
tells me you're 100% corny.
172
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,644
What?It's called my eyes.
173
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:28,083
I like her. Yeah, she can stay.
174
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,824
[chuckles]
175
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,654
Hey. Oh, yeah.
176
00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:34,829
Bam!
177
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:37,309
1984 Pasadena High School.
178
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,311
First Team
All Conference.
179
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,313
Jerome's gonna feel
a lot more comfortable
180
00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:43,751
knowing he's not
the only baller in the house.
181
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,579
[chuckling]
182
00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:47,102
Well, I guess
183
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:50,018
everyone can reach
around your trophy
184
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,672
to get to my artichoke dip.
185
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:53,804
Or we can
186
00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:56,285
just move your
artichoke dip altogether.
187
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:03,074
Uh, guys, so excited to take
a picture with The Bus
188
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:04,772
I changed three times.
189
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:07,905
Huh. Are you sure
it wasn't six times?
190
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:08,906
[knocking at door]Hmm.
191
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,908
[high voice]:
Was it?
192
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,390
Romy! Welcome.
193
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,870
My man!My man!
194
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,741
My man!
My man!
195
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:18,829
My mickety, mickety...
196
00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:20,309
All right,
who-who wants drinks?
197
00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,310
My man?
198
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:24,052
[Tina chuckles, sighs]
199
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:25,575
Do I smell artichoke dip?
200
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:27,098
My man!
201
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:35,455
Seven.
202
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,370
Just quit, Marty.
203
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:40,111
You've already lost
all your poker money.
204
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:41,417
Do not lose your pride.
205
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,027
What? I-- No!
I can't be losing.
206
00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:45,377
I am a damn rocket scientist!
207
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,554
Look, Marty,
there's no shame in quitting.
208
00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:50,078
I do it with jobs
all the time.
209
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,993
I've won five hands.
210
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,168
And you've won zero.
211
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:54,952
I'm no rocket scientist,
212
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,867
but it sounds like you
need to call Houston.
213
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:59,261
'Cause you got
a problem.
214
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:00,523
[chuckles] Okay.
215
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,656
I'll match all your chips.
216
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,048
My debit card.
217
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:05,572
MALCOLM:
Whoa, whoa, wait.
218
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:07,225
We haven't paid rent yet.
What about your budget?
219
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,488
Mind your own budget!
220
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,360
I'm also putting
in my Apple Watch.
221
00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:15,538
And I raise you
my last chip.
222
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,540
Okay.
223
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,542
I call.
224
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:22,414
[laughing]
225
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:24,852
Full house!
King, seven.
226
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,244
Math wins again.
227
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,029
Or, perhaps, for the first time.
228
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,552
Uh, not so fast.
229
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,729
According to my calculations,
and this equation,
230
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,601
"X" equals "you lose."
231
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,037
What?
232
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,386
Four queens.
233
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,562
[gasps]
Oh...
234
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,608
How is this possible,
235
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,697
that I'm losing to somebody
related to Trey?
236
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:46,221
But, honestly,
I'm surprised too. That's...
237
00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:47,527
Here you go, cuz.
238
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:48,963
Thank you.
239
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,486
Oh, look. Marty,
240
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,053
my new Apple Watch says
it's time for you to breathe.
241
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,708
My mama gave me that watch.
242
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:02,063
All right. I know they always
called you The Bus,
243
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:03,455
but back in the day,
244
00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:05,545
they called me The Truck.
245
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,851
'cause I used to haul ass
into the end zone.
246
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:10,071
Ha! My man!
My man.
247
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,159
Ha-ha. My man!
248
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:13,030
My m-- Dave, no.
249
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:20,734
Hey, we're outta beer
and I'm outta money.
250
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:23,563
And Mom wasn't lying
about knowing Jerome Bettis.
251
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:24,651
What?
[chuckles]
252
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:27,088
Yeah, well, Jerome
and I go way back
253
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:29,220
to a time when Amazon
was just a jungle.
254
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:33,050
Jerome, what was my mama
like as a kid?
255
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:34,095
Lil' Tee Tee?
256
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,618
She was a lot of fun.
257
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,141
She was the best skater
in our crew.
258
00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:38,360
Except for me, of course.
259
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,536
Man, please. You
know, it's funny
260
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,233
how you were selling Geico,
261
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,105
but whenever you got on wheels,
262
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:45,628
your ass would crash.
263
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:46,977
[laughter]
264
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,805
You always did talk
a lot of trash.
265
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,067
CALVIN: Yeah, sure.[Jerome chuckles]
266
00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:53,070
And I remember
you loved the movies,
267
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:56,073
That's why we spent a lot
of time at the local drive-in.
268
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,554
Drive-in?
269
00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,903
That requires a car.
270
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:01,644
With you two alone in it.
271
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,254
Yeah. And-and my car
was so small,
272
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:06,170
she was practically
sitting on my lap.
273
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:07,650
[laughs]
274
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:08,999
E-Excuse me?
275
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:11,872
Aw, it was like a,
like a summer romance.
276
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:13,351
Like-- like Danny and Sandy.
277
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:14,744
Romance?Well--
278
00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,224
Grease!
We saw that together.
279
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,966
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and
Saturday Night Fever.
280
00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:20,968
It was a-a Travolta
double feature.
281
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:22,230
Double feature?
282
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,188
That's a awful lot
of lap sitting.
283
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,017
Wait a minute.
284
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,497
Y... You guys weren't
a couple, were you?
285
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:29,933
No, no, no, no, no.
It was nothing like that.
286
00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:32,414
Uh, no, it was
just a teenage fling.
287
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:34,677
Fling?
288
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,113
My woman...
289
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:39,029
...and my man?
290
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:41,597
[chuckling]:
Oh.
291
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,642
Oh, man.
292
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,651
This was fun.Good seeing you, Romy.
293
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:52,695
Next time
I'm in town,
294
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:54,262
I'm taking you guys to dinner.
295
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:56,090
See you, Tee Tee.All right, now.
296
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,265
Okay.
297
00:10:58,309 --> 00:10:59,920
I'm sure you've got
to get going, man.
298
00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:02,444
Got one of those
Hall of Fame meetings to get to.
299
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:05,012
And get that yellow jacket out
of the dry cleaners, okay?
300
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,404
So drive safe, my man.
301
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:07,623
All right?
302
00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:15,022
Well, that was embarrassing.
303
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:16,240
Well, yes, it was.
304
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:17,981
You embarrassed
the hell out of me, Tina.
305
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:20,070
I embarrassed you?
306
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,682
You were the one
acting crazy tonight.
307
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:23,944
Well, you would have, too,
308
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,423
if you would've learned
what I just learned.
309
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,077
I mean, who else did you date
310
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:28,644
that you forgot
to mention?
311
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:29,906
Barack Obama?
312
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,255
Nelson Mandela?
313
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,866
Ja Rule?
314
00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,911
I didn't forget
to mention anything.
315
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,565
I was just following your
316
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:40,003
"Don't Ask, Leave the Past
in the Past" rule.
317
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,875
Well, if your past is
all up in your house
318
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,920
eating your food,
then it's in the present.
319
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,705
You think it's easy
320
00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:48,055
for me to hear about you
dating a famous athlete?
321
00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:52,102
You were the one who came up
with the "Don't Ask" rule.
322
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,974
Look, and don't think
I didn't know
323
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:56,628
you used to be
Mr. Player Player.
324
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,981
But did I make
a big deal out of it?
325
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,678
No, I did not.
326
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,115
Well, I didn't make a big deal
out of your past, either, Tina,
327
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,596
mainly because
I didn't think you had one.
328
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,731
Look at all this,
Calvin.
329
00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:16,648
Of course I had a past!
330
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:18,781
What, you want me
to start naming names?
331
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:20,130
Okay, let me just...Uh-uh.
332
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:21,479
No, no, no.
See, now you're going too far.
333
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:23,133
No, you're the one tripping
334
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,483
over somebody that I went to
a movie with over 30 years ago,
335
00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,529
who you invited to dinner
336
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,487
and then acted like a child.
337
00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:30,619
A child?
Yes.
338
00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:31,707
You know, nah, nah.
339
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,056
Don't try to put this
on me, Tina.
340
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,188
You know what, Calvin?
341
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,406
I don't have time for this.
342
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,191
Well, I didn't have time
for it first.
343
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:38,453
Well, good!
Good!
344
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:39,889
Good!Good!
345
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,674
And we cancelling Geico!
346
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:54,208
I brought you the traditional
husband peace offering.
347
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:56,819
Traditionally, that's jewelry.
348
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,257
But I'll take the pie anyway.
349
00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,785
Look... [sighs]
350
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:08,396
I know it was stupid
to lie about my number.
351
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,137
We had just
started dating,
352
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:11,791
and you were
a little weirded out
353
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,488
about my
"open book" policy.
354
00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:15,359
You know, whenever we
would open my book,
355
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,144
you wanted to
burn all the pages.
356
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:22,192
No, I just really liked
the chapters about us.
357
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:24,194
Exactly. And I didn't
want to hurt you
358
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:27,023
with my typical
Dave "oversharing."
359
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:29,199
Especially when it was
about all the women
360
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:33,160
who turned me into, well,
the sexual animal I am today.
361
00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:39,166
An example of oversharing.
362
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:45,172
I admit, I used to get
uncomfortable about your past.
363
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,783
But I'm much more secure now
364
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,829
because of our
open-book policy.
365
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,918
I'm just mad that you lied.
366
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:54,529
I get that.
367
00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,313
And... and I'm sorry.
368
00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:57,880
Thank you.
369
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:00,230
And while we're here,
you know, I did--
370
00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:03,103
to be totally
transparent-- remember
371
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:04,931
a seventh girl.
372
00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:06,889
She's the one who
taught me to...
373
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,586
Stop talking.
374
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:15,767
Well, I should also be
totally transparent.
375
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:18,509
I might've spent
some time in the Ozarks
376
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:21,208
with Justin Timberlake.
377
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:24,733
Let's just say
we were, uh,
378
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,517
NSYNC.
379
00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:34,090
Okay. [laughs]
380
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,135
That's funny!
381
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,314
Wait, for real? Justin?
382
00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:44,187
Gemma, I gotta know.
He's all over my playlist.
383
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,110
Ah...Uh...
384
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,590
Hey, Dad.
385
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:57,070
Did I catch you
at a bad time?
386
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,072
No, son. Never better.
387
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,551
Good.
388
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:01,770
Uh...
389
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,163
I was a little embarrassed
390
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:04,251
to bring this up in front of
Jerome Bettis, but...
391
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,122
Don't say that name
in that house.
392
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:08,820
Don't say that name
on this porch.
393
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,648
Right.
394
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:13,825
Well, see, I-I created
this poker system
395
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,305
based on math, that, uh...
396
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,307
All right.
How much did you lose?
397
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,962
Let's just say I'd have to cash
out some Bitcoin to make rent.
398
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,269
Oh, no, not your Bitcoin.
399
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:24,575
I don't care. Pay me.
400
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:28,710
Okay, all right.
401
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,407
Quit playing.
I got your back, man.
402
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,800
Oh. Thanks, Dad.
403
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,323
But you're gonna have
to clean up this yard,
404
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:35,891
wax the cars
and scrape off the grill.
405
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,327
Okay, all right.
406
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:38,981
Fair enough. I respect that.
407
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,288
You know,
I'm glad you're my dad, man.
408
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:43,594
Even though I probably could
have been a famous athlete
409
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:44,944
if Jerome Bettis
had been my father.
410
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:48,860
Me, too, son.
411
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:50,993
Even though
I could have been retired
412
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,082
if Patrick Mahomes was my son.
413
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:59,567
Hey, Calvin, I'm
returning your pie tin.
414
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:01,047
How are you
and Tina doing?
415
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:02,396
I don't know.
416
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:05,225
Ask Romy Rome.
417
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,009
So, you're still mad at her?
418
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,490
Look, you just don't get over
something like that.
419
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:11,274
The man is in
the Hall of Fame.
420
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:13,450
Plus, I've napped
in his jersey.
421
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,629
Okay, so you're
really mad.
422
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:22,242
But you know what, you're right.
423
00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:24,722
In fact,
I'm still mad at Dave.
424
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,681
Gemma, come on.
425
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:29,205
Is the number
really that important?
426
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:31,991
Yes! I'm not sure
I can ever forgive him.
427
00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:34,645
Okay. You know what?
428
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,996
This sounds
a little extreme, so...
429
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,693
tell me what's really going on.
430
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:41,087
I can't stop thinking
about those other women.
431
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,045
Well, that's why I created
432
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:45,395
"Don't Ask,
Leave Your Past in the Past."
433
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:49,138
Also known as "Don't Ask
or That's Yo Ass."
434
00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:50,748
[sighs]
435
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:53,186
I mean, I was
his eighth choice.
436
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,666
I bet he'd love to leave
me for number seven.
437
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:58,060
She's probably
some doctor type
438
00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:01,803
who's really good
at full-body exams...
439
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,023
if you know
what I mean.
440
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,981
I do.
441
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,158
But that's not Dave.
442
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:13,380
Dave is the guy that crocheted
us all mittens for Christmas.
443
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:18,080
Look, Dave married you.
444
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,864
He loves you.
445
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,475
Those other women don't matter.
446
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:23,651
You have nothing
to be insecure about.
447
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,914
Do you really believe that?
448
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,220
You're damn right I do.
449
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,310
Then act like it.
450
00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:33,139
[whoops]
451
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,184
Ooh, mic drop.
452
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,186
[crunches][gasps]
453
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:40,363
Oh, my God, I
cracked my screen.
454
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:43,497
Hey, babe.
455
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,542
I don't want to talk.
456
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:49,111
Look, I was thinking that
I might owe you an apology.
457
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,941
Keep talking.
458
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:56,118
[sighs]
I'm sorry that I got jealous.
459
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,946
[sighs]
460
00:17:57,989 --> 00:17:59,426
What were you thinking?
461
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,036
I don't know.
462
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,211
I guess I wasn't.
463
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:03,647
I just...
464
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:05,606
I got a little insecure that...
465
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,477
I thought maybe you thought
466
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,218
you made the wrong choice.
467
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:11,002
Wrong choice?
468
00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:12,526
I chose The Truck.
469
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,180
The Truck is built
for anything.
470
00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:16,399
Yeah, but he's The Bus.
471
00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:18,793
You could have been Mrs. Bus.
472
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:21,143
You know?
473
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:22,840
Living the good life.
474
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,364
Front-row seats to the game,
475
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,844
private jets,
flashy jewelry.
476
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:31,458
Calvin, what are you
talking about?
477
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,416
I am living my best life.
478
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:36,158
Yeah, but being married to
a guy that owns a body shop
479
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:39,161
doesn't get you on The Real
Housewives of Pittsburgh.
480
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,382
Calvin, I have had
lots of chances
481
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:43,861
at living that life,
482
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:46,125
but I chose you
and the life you offered.
483
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:50,346
What do you mean you had
"lots of chances"?
484
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:55,046
Oh, you thought
you were playing about Ja Rule.
485
00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:56,352
What? Tina...
486
00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:58,224
I-I'm just playing,
I'm just playing.
487
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:01,792
Calvin... [sighs]
488
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:05,274
You know, nothing can replace
the chemistry we have.
489
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:06,754
Do you know
how I feel
490
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,408
every time you walk
into a room?
491
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:13,064
I'm guessing...
pretty good?
492
00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:15,023
After 32 years of marriage,
493
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:17,765
I still light up.
Every time.
494
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,724
I feel bad.
495
00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:22,813
I guess I should've told you
about Jerome.
496
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,685
Nah.
497
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,469
No, the rule is the rule.
498
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:28,428
And I still think
it's the right way to go.
499
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,386
I mean, who cares
about our past
500
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:32,258
when we're
each other's forever?
501
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:33,650
Mmm.
502
00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:34,912
I love you.
503
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,131
[chuckles]
504
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,350
I think it was
kind of sexy, though,
505
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,265
with you being so jealous.
506
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,788
Made me feel like
I still got it.
507
00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,920
Oh, trust me,
508
00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:44,313
you still got it.
509
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:46,228
[both laugh]
510
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,143
And I still want it.
511
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,147
Now come on,
let's go get unholy.
512
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,714
Come on.
Okay.
513
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:01,200
[Tina laughs]
514
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,202
Thanks for taking me
to the movies, Calvin.
515
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:05,378
Anytime, Lil' Tee Tee.
516
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:07,075
[both chuckle]
517
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:10,470
Ooh! This is
my favorite part.
518
00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:12,472
He is so cute!
519
00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:14,517
♪
520
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,349
No!
521
00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:26,225
[chuckles softly]
522
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,837
[snoring]
523
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:33,971
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
524
00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:36,974
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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