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1
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ISAAC:
We are ghosts.
2
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:09,009
While most spirits pass on
3
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,184
to the afterlife, we are
4
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:11,402
cursed to spend eternity...
5
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,056
[gasps]
Oh, and she's gone.
6
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,753
Now what's going
to happen to the house?
7
00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,842
This must be them, the new
folks that own the house.
8
00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:19,410
- Why don't we just
try haunting?
- Oh!
9
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:21,412
We scare them away.
We're ghosts!
10
00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:22,848
We did it![shouts]
11
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:25,677
PETE:
W-Watch out![gasps]
12
00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:26,809
Oh.[gasps]
13
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,419
Oh, my God! Sam? Sam!
14
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,030
I hope
you were at least as upset
15
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,814
when I was technically dead
for three minutes.
16
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,903
- This can't be real.
- JAY:
What are you looking at?
17
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:36,079
I think you're right.
She can see us.
Uh-huh.
18
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:37,037
[screams]
19
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,347
[bird cawing]
20
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,394
[sighs]
21
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:55,185
[soft clattering]
22
00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:06,022
[gasps]
23
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,678
[sighs]:
Ah.
24
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:10,896
Hello!
25
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:13,986
[both screaming]
26
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:18,078
[grunts]
27
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:20,341
Well?
28
00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,343
Yup, she can still see us.
29
00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:23,779
Yes!
30
00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,128
Also, she's apparently
a little cranky
31
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,347
before she's had her coffee.
32
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,436
♪
33
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,878
Troops, never before have we
possessed the ability
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to communicate with a Living.
35
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:39,969
We are in uncharted waters.
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00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:43,625
Those are worst type of waters,
unless, of course, you find cod.
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00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,017
ISAAC:
This opens up intriguing
38
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,150
possibilities to get them to leave.
39
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:49,065
Namely: diplomacy.
40
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:49,979
Thankfully,
you're looking
41
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:52,155
at the man who negotiated an end
42
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:55,115
to the Siege
of Fort Ticonderoga.
43
00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:57,508
You surrendered unconditionally
to the British.
44
00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:58,901
But we lived
to fight another day.
45
00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:00,772
You died of dysentery
two weeks later.
46
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,252
Did I?
47
00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:03,862
Thank you. Thank you.
48
00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,821
Point is: I'm good at talking.
49
00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:08,519
Don't talk to enemy,
destroy them.
50
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:11,348
Then toast their deaths
with horns full of mead!
51
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,437
Okay, that boy has
some serious anger issues.
52
00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:16,092
Why do we have to make
the Livings leave?
53
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,181
It just seems
like such a bummer.
54
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,140
Because, they're planning
on turning my beloved
55
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:23,099
Woodstone Mansion into a hotel,
that's why. We'll be overrun!
56
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,233
Exactly! We can't let
these invaders take our land.
57
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,625
Do you hear it? At all?
58
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:28,887
Do you hear the words
that you're saying?
59
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:30,280
PETE:
You know, we don't have
60
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,456
to talk her into leaving
or destroy anyone.
61
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:35,416
We could just befriend her and
ask her not to open the hotel.
62
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:38,810
So, no hotel, but the hot chick
stays? I like that plan.
63
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,900
Yeah, could be useful to have
a Living that we can talk to.
64
00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:44,425
Ooh, I can get her
to look into the details
65
00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,731
surrounding my
mysterious death.
66
00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:49,081
Oh, please. You had
a heart attack.
67
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,909
- Which was likely
brought on by poisoning.
- Okay.
68
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:54,522
My death, like my life,
was spectacular. Had to be!
69
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:57,438
No way I went out from something
boring like a busted ticker.
70
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:58,961
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
71
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,571
My doc was pretty worried
about my blood pressure.
72
00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,444
Luckily, didn't turn out
to be a problem. [laughs]
73
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,533
Oh, what happened?
74
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:08,405
There's an arr...
we've been through this.
75
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:13,193
- Jay! Where were you?
- I was in the attic.
76
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:15,717
- Are you okay?
- Jay, they're back.
I woke up,
77
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,154
and one was in
the bathroom... Whoa, whoa, okay, okay.
78
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,330
These are just residual effects
from your accident.
79
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:21,940
- What happened?
- I ran into the door
80
00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,899
when I tried to attack him
with a toilet brush.
81
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:27,685
Um, is that like to ghosts what
wooden stakes are to vampires?
82
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,209
It was the only thing handy!
83
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,906
Please don't make fun of me.
I really saw one.
84
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:34,388
Okay, okay. Um, have you seen
one since you hit your head?
85
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:36,303
No.
86
00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:39,088
Do you think somehow hitting my
head the second time cured me?
87
00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:40,872
I mean, if you haven't seen one
since you hit your head,
88
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:42,700
- you're probably out
of the woods.
- Oh, my God.
89
00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:45,225
They're back! They're here.
They're all behind you.
90
00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:47,227
Hello! Sorry
about before.
91
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,229
I don't see anybody.
92
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,666
I would like to formally
open negotiations to discuss
93
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:54,495
- your withdrawal
from Woodstone Mansion.
- Hear, hear.
94
00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,061
There's a hippie and a Viking.
95
00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:57,324
- Be gone!
- Peace!
96
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,847
And a guy dressed like Hamilton.
97
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,197
Hamilton? How do you
know about Hamilton?
98
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,851
One of them's not wearing
any pants.
99
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:06,376
- Oh, yeah? You like that?
- Hi. Alberta.
100
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,943
Can you help me find out
who murdered me?
101
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,988
Hey, babe, remember
what the doctor said.
102
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,469
You-you might experience
some visual disturbances.
103
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:14,558
[gasping]:
I'm sorry.
104
00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,473
Y-You're talking
about Alexander Hamilton?
105
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,258
Did that little twerp
become famous?
106
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,738
- Wait. Isn't that the guy
on the ten-dollar bill?
- The what?
107
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,392
They seem really real.
108
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,046
- Well, of course
we're real!
- We're right here.
109
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:25,656
- He's on paper currency?
- THORFINN: You're hearing us!
110
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,702
Okay, but what do you think
is more likely? Do you think
111
00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:29,486
you're seeing ghosts,
or do you think
112
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,532
you're suffering symptoms
of a severe concussion?
113
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,795
ALL: Ghosts.
Yeah.
Obviously.
114
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,275
Concussion.
115
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,406
[overlapping chatter]
No!
116
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:38,452
They're all in your head.
117
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,758
You just ignore them,
and they'll go away.
118
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,760
- Ignore us?
- Well, that's rude.
119
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,371
You go get some rest
120
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,808
because your man is
taking care of business.
121
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,723
- Do you know how that works?
- Mm... Oh.
122
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,028
No. No, I do not.
123
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,900
- But the Internet does.
- The Internet?
124
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,076
It's an invention for looking
up stock prices and porn.
125
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,339
I'm gonna let the contractors
handle the big things.
126
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,167
But you know what? Papa Bear's
gonna save some money
127
00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,777
where I can,
because we're not all
128
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:01,605
Mr. Moneybags here, am I right?
129
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,477
[gasps]
From where
130
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,957
did you find this awful painting
of my philandering husband?
131
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,959
- Oh, yeah, Elias. I remember
when he sat for that painting.
- Mm.
132
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,918
- And then when he slept
with the artist.
- Yeah.
133
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,747
Okay, I guess
I'll just go lie down.
134
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,357
You're gonna be better
in no time.
135
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,098
The bones have spoken,
136
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:18,361
and they foresee
your doom!
137
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,450
Right. Thanks.
138
00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:23,584
[drill whirring]
139
00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,847
[all exclaiming]
140
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:28,632
[groans]
141
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:32,157
What are you doing
in my room?
142
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:35,509
- Oh, yeah, this is gonna
make a dope man cave.
- What?
143
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:39,164
A cave of men?
What does that even mean?
144
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:41,515
[drill whirring]
145
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,299
[both gasp]
146
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,909
Oh, no.
147
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,389
What are... what are you...
what are you doing?
148
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,391
Oh, hey, Hetty. This is fun.
149
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,567
[gasps]
This is not fun.
150
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:53,396
This horrible man has destroyed
the sanctity of our rooms.
151
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,659
Oh, it's like we're roommates.
152
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:58,619
You got this.
[drill whirs]
153
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,316
- Oh.
- Oh!
154
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,885
- Crap.
- Are you mad?
155
00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:05,800
You've made it even bigger!
156
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,367
No, no, no, don't walk away!
157
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,804
Yay!
158
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,806
Hey, who's your favorite
boy ghost?
159
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,503
I'd say Thor,
but he really scares me,
160
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:14,852
but I kind of like that.
161
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:16,767
You know what?
No. No, no, no, no.
162
00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,334
No, no, no.
163
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,423
ISAAC:
This Jay fellow has
164
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,207
ruined our ability
to communicate
165
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:25,254
with Samantha by convincing her
that we are not real!
166
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,430
Which is a serious setback.
167
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:30,041
In the face of which,
a lesser leader
168
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,478
might give up.
169
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,958
Like, for instance--
oh, I don't know--
170
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,395
Hamilton.
171
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,701
- Dude is obsessed.
- Mm.
172
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:41,401
He was a terrible commander.
He was all about himself!
173
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:44,273
Whereas I-- I was known
for making men under me happy.
174
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,622
How are we supposed
to befriend Sam,
175
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,929
or "drive her from the land,"
176
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,583
yeah, yeah,
if she's just ignoring us?
177
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:52,150
Enemy's not supposed to ignore.
It hurts feelings.
178
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:53,804
We don't let her ignore us.
179
00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:55,458
We do the same thing
I did in '98
180
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,460
when Lizzie Grubman told me
the list was closed
181
00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:00,376
for Diddy's White Party.
We keep bugging her!
182
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,030
- What kind of party?
- What is "Diddy"?
183
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,379
It's a jaunty little song.
184
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,641
The references
are not important!
185
00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:06,513
The point is,
we don't give up.
186
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,732
We keep bugging her.
Now is when we double down!
187
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:11,082
So simple, yet so brilliant.
188
00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:13,781
- Thank you.
- We don't allow her to ignore us.
189
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:14,782
[laughs]
Yes.
190
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,087
Yes, we will pester her
191
00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:17,872
in the kitchen.[others agreeing]
192
00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:20,004
And we will annoy her
in the living room.
193
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,397
- Yeah!
- My idea.
194
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,051
We will make her life
a living hell
195
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:26,533
so she has no choice
but to finally acknowledge us!
196
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:27,969
Yes!
Yes!
197
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,492
And then we drive them
from this land!
198
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,842
- Yes!
- Or have a nice, friendly chat!
199
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,191
That one. You do that one.
[overlapping chatter]
200
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,758
She will rue the day!
201
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:37,108
Chop their legs off,
hang them from trees!
202
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:39,241
- Roll it back. It's too much!
- You're making it weird.
203
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,596
PETE:
Hi there!
204
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,642
Hello?
205
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,991
All right, I know
you're actively ignoring us,
206
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,427
but that's okay.
207
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,037
I was married for 16 years,
so I get it.
208
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:55,170
[laughs]
209
00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,911
Ah. Oh, you looked at me.
210
00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:59,000
She looked at me!
Ooh, it's working.
211
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:03,395
Aah! Death to our enemies!
212
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,792
Is it getting any better?
213
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,098
Um...
214
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,752
Now who would want me dead?
215
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:14,102
I was a beloved
jazz singer.
216
00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:16,974
Not really.[yawns]: I'm sorry, sweetie.
217
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,976
I'm sure it'll be
better tomorrow.
218
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,631
Okay, there was
one person.
219
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,720
She thought I was having
an affair with her husband.
220
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,200
[laughs]
I was sleeping with him,
221
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,680
but she didn't know that,
so in a way,
222
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,943
I kind of wasn't
as far as she knew.
223
00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:31,293
FLOWER:
So then the bear raised his arms
to attack me,
224
00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:32,512
but the shrooms were kicking in,
225
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:33,861
and I thought
he just wanted a hug.
226
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,384
You know, how everyone talks
about bear hugs?
227
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,994
They're not talking
about hugs from actual bears.
228
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:40,389
Can you please stop talking?
I'm trying to sleep.
229
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:42,565
Oh, yeah. No, totally.
Yeah, no, I'm so tired, too.
230
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,262
Why do we sleep?
231
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:47,265
- I don't know.
- When I was at Woodstock,
232
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,616
I didn't sleep at all, 'cause
I didn't want to miss anything,
233
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,008
especially the Grateful Dead.
234
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,141
I was a huge "Deadhead,"
which was ironic,
235
00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:54,490
because I wasn't
even dead at the time.
236
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,753
I don't care.
237
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,323
[gasps]
238
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,543
Look, I get it.
239
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,589
Who wants to think they're
seeing ghosts? It's scary.
240
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:09,592
You know what's scarier?
Eternity.
241
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:12,160
So, I find ways to break it up,
create some drama.
242
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:14,162
Like yesterday,
I told Alberta
243
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,904
that Hetty said
she didn't like her hat.
244
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:18,688
Now, did Hetty
really say that?
245
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:22,213
Well, I will take that answer to
my grave, which will never come.
246
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,302
Which is why I have
to do this kind of stuff.
247
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,438
Oh, hi there. I'm Steve.
248
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:32,093
Unbelievable.
Jay, there's another one!
249
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,877
He's a big guy
with a greasy beard.
250
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,357
- Hey.
- JAY:
Hey, babe.
251
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,663
Have you met Steve?
252
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,448
- Here you go.
- Wait. You can see him?
253
00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:40,884
W-What's happening?
254
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,756
Sam, Steve! He's here
to help us with the cable.
255
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,628
Who is this man?
Another invader?
256
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,717
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry, Steve.
257
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:50,067
I haven't been sleeping well.
It's great to meet you.
258
00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,156
Um, that should about do it.
I went ahead
259
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,028
- and gave you three months
of the sports package.
- Cool.
260
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:56,073
He too shall
feel our wrath.
261
00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:57,074
Shut up,
262
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,772
uh...
263
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:01,557
♪ About that sports
package, Steve. ♪
264
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,080
What a deal!
265
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:05,387
Yeah. R-Right?
266
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,476
I'm-I'm...
I'm gonna test her out.
267
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:10,653
[cheering]
268
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,089
ANNOUNCER:
The Vikings were known
269
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:13,221
for their prowess
on the battlefield,
270
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,092
often overpowering...
271
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:18,705
What is this...
magical window?
272
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,010
Hello!
273
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:22,186
Oh, okay. Well, I'm down
for a stroll. [laughs]
274
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,624
Where we headed?
On behalf of my fellow ghosts,
275
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,277
I'd just like to
welcome you to... You're not real.
276
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,018
I mean, I'm not technically
alive, but I am real.
277
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,150
No, you're not.
278
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:30,673
- You're answering me.
- No, I'm not.
279
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,066
Okay, I thought
of a couple other people
280
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,589
who may have wanted me dead.
281
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,982
Any chance you could
hop the train down to Memphis
282
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,679
- and knock on some doors?
- Hey, am I crazy,
283
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,812
- or is there chemistry here?
- This isn't happening!
284
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:41,553
I know.
I didn't expect this, either.
285
00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:44,426
ISAAC:
Okay, so this machine
truly has access
286
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,036
to the entire breadth
of human knowledge?
287
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,864
Yeah, pretty much.
288
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:50,345
Okay, I need you to look up
"Alexander Hamilton" on this.
289
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,652
[laughs]
290
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,784
Do you know how long
it would take me
291
00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:56,394
to type all those letters?
292
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,353
I must know
what he went on to do.[scoffs]
293
00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:01,356
He haunts me,
and I'm a damn ghost.
294
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:04,446
[sniffles]
Okay, buddy, stand back.
295
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:06,622
Let me work my magic.
296
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,407
[rhythmic exhaling]
297
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:10,887
[inhales sharply]
298
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,933
My God, the pageantry.
299
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,761
- Do you want this, or not?
- Yes. No, I do.
300
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,850
Shh!I... I like it.
301
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:20,201
Ah... Come on! Come on!
302
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,724
You've got it!
You've got it!
303
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,683
Ah... And...
304
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,777
Ah![laughs]
305
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,477
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
306
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,740
- Oh, amazing. Okay, next
letter. Next letter!
- Oh...
307
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,787
Mmm. Thor can smell
the salty brine.
308
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,571
- There's my toolbox.
- ANNOUNCER:
The preparation for the cod hunt
309
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:43,877
was a ritual of great importance
310
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,313
-in Viking society.
- Look at you.
311
00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:48,838
Come on! Electricity!
312
00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:51,667
Oh, by the loins of Freya, why?
313
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,451
Small man?!
314
00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:55,540
[water dripping]
315
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:59,893
Well, if it isn't
"Mr. Fix It."
316
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:02,286
- Why has he got a hammer?
- Who knows?
317
00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:04,332
- Okay.
- Oh, no, no.
318
00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:06,464
Oh, no. Oh, you fool!
319
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:07,639
- What are you doing?
- Is he crazy, man?
320
00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:09,337
Stop it! Just stop it!
321
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,731
God, I know we're dead,
but he's trying to kill us.
322
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:15,082
"Psychotic breaks."
323
00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:17,345
- Okay, that's me.
- HETTY:
A moment of your time.
324
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,390
- That's also me.
- You must repair my wall.
325
00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:21,001
I cannot spend another night
listening
326
00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,785
to that bohemian blather away.
I won't do it!
327
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,439
Bring back my people
to the thing--
328
00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:26,006
the sorcerer's window!
329
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:27,747
You are a strong, sane woman.
330
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,574
You are a strong,
sane woman!
331
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,272
Hey, big head.
332
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,362
I don't want you anyway.
333
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:37,365
See? Say something negative,
get 'em off balance.
334
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:40,020
Oh, I don't know why
I didn't start with this."Depression,
335
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,673
difficulty concentrating..."
336
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,240
JAY:
Babe, can you please
bring me my screwdriver?
337
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,720
Sure thing.
338
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,070
- She moves!
- Do not walk away from me!
339
00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:50,508
She can't move too fast with
those slightly-too-large ankles!
340
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,336
This is genius.
341
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,382
You cannot escape us![gasps] Oh!
342
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,558
No way I'm going
down there.
343
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,995
No, no, they...
they are terrifying.
344
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:01,911
Jay, I think there's something
very wrong... Oh, my God!
345
00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:03,608
- What?
- What do you mean, "what?"
346
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,740
There's a bunch
of zombies down here.
347
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,090
Zombies?
Zombies aren't real.
348
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,962
We are ghosts.
We all died of cholera.
349
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,877
It wasn't great.
350
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,271
Babe, I think you really
just need some more rest.
351
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:18,014
We are way past rest. We need
to go to a hospital now.
352
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,799
Okay. Well, I'll drive you.
353
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:20,843
Red valve. Tell him...
354
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:23,585
[loud, overlapping chatter]
355
00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:24,629
Please turn the red valve!
356
00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:25,935
Can you turn the red valve?
357
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,894
- What?
- Can you just turn the red valve?
358
00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:30,897
It-it's kind of urgent,
if you like the house.
359
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,378
- MAN: There you go!
- WOMAN: Yes.
360
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:36,424
How did you know
about the red...?
361
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,643
Can we get the hell out
of here, please?
362
00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,864
- Okay.
- No. Wait. Don't do that.
363
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,823
Oh, come on... Oh. Nuts.
364
00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:50,655
I'm just saying, it's been
three days, and I'm not feeling
365
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,875
any better, so I'm starting
to freak out.
366
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,051
Well, I have to be honest.
367
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,879
I don't think this
will get better.
368
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,969
- What?
- It seems as if your
accident left you so close
369
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:02,232
to death, that you somehow
obtained the ability
370
00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:04,278
to actually see
dead people.[laughs]
371
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:05,714
That can't be possible...
372
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,847
It is quite rare,
but I've seen it before.
373
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,501
The last time was
around 85 years ago.
374
00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:12,199
Wait. How-how old are you?
375
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,984
Well, I was about 50
when I died.
376
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:17,117
Now, sorry about that.
377
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,467
I'll let you visit
with your living doctor.
378
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,251
What seems to be
troubling you?[gasps]
379
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,340
She's excellent, by the way.
380
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,956
THORFINN [laughing]:
This is amazing.
381
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,566
The plan's working!
382
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,785
Working? Thor,
she ran off screaming.
383
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:35,048
We've driven her insane.
384
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:37,180
Oh, what does it matter?
Nothing matters.
385
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,139
- What's up
with soldier boy?
- Isaac had me look up
386
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,576
"Alexander Hamilton"
on Jay's computer.
387
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,056
His list of accomplishments
was even grander
388
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,622
than I could have imagined.
389
00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,755
And then we looked up Isaac.
390
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:51,455
"...graduated Dartmouth,
died of dysentery."
391
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:54,763
That's it?
That's all it says?!
392
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:58,680
I was mentioned in but one
academic journal, in a footnote.
393
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:01,161
I'm literally a footnote
in history!
394
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,466
Well, Dartmouth is very good.
395
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,554
[coughing]:
Safety school.
396
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:05,556
My life meant nothing.
397
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,950
Whereas my rival is known
to this day.
398
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,126
There was even a musical
about him!
399
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,172
You're really fixated
on that musical thing.
400
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,000
Well, this might come
as a shock to you,
401
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,872
since you see me
as this tough military type... Mm.
402
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,788
...but musical theater
is actually a passion of mine.
403
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,181
Hmm.
404
00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:24,445
I'm just saying, maybe we
should have just stuck around
405
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,186
for a little while,
heard her out.
406
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:27,622
Maybe done the MRI?
407
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:28,840
There's no point.
408
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,277
They're not gonna
find anything,
409
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,148
because I now know
there's nothing wrong with me!
410
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,933
Okay, but the
doctor said...
411
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,456
That was the living doctor!
412
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:36,979
Of course she thinks
I'm delusional.
413
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,720
She's not trained for this.
But the ghost doctor...
414
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:40,678
Okay, that's where
you start to lose me.
415
00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:42,028
If the ghosts were
all in my head,
416
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:43,507
I'd be seeing the same ones
at the hospital
417
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,074
as I do back at the house,
but they're not.
418
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,815
I see different ones
in different places.
419
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:48,599
Like that guy. Hey, bud.
420
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,647
What guy?
421
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:56,042
I know it's not great news,
but at least I'm not crazy.
422
00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,089
No, no, Jay,
look out!
423
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:01,743
[tires screech]
424
00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:04,441
Phew. They were already dead.
425
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:06,182
- Sorry.
- What?!
426
00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,924
- Just drive.
- I can't. I can't. I-I...
427
00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:18,194
Listen, I know this is
a lot, but I'm with you.
428
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:21,067
No matter what, in
sickness and in health.
429
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:23,983
Okay? Because I love you.
430
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,985
Aw. He's a keeper.
[gasps]
431
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,770
- Hold that thought.
- What was that?
432
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:31,947
- Sam?
- Sam?
433
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,993
Hold on. Hold up, Sam!
434
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,083
Sam, was there one in the car?
435
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:39,172
Sam, was there one
in the car?
436
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,870
[door opens]
PETE: She's coming.
Here she comes!
437
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:43,089
Ooh!
438
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,568
Okay, fine.
I see all of you,
439
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,440
I admit your existence. Happy?
440
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:48,964
- Well, I mean, what is happy?
- It's a good step, babe.
441
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,880
Great. But this
is our house now.
442
00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:54,317
We inherited it, so, it is
time for you all to leave.
443
00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:56,102
It has been nice
to meet you, thank you,
444
00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,886
but you can go haunt
someone else now.
445
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:02,238
[laughter]
446
00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,153
She's funny, too.
That's great.
447
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:05,198
ALBERTA:
Girl,
448
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:06,764
we can't leave.
449
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,070
Yeah, you just sort of stay
where you die.
450
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,463
And how you die.
451
00:17:09,506 --> 00:17:11,117
It's your classic
haunted house.
452
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,119
So, it seems
it's the two of you
453
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,077
who should leave,
thank you kindly.
454
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,687
Well, that's not happening.
455
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,080
We've already sunk all
our money into this place.
456
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,951
Plus, I see dead people
wherever I go,
457
00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:21,736
so leaving doesn't even help me.
458
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,085
Okay, I'm back
to freaked out again.
459
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,521
Babe, just a second.
460
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,045
It seems like we're stuck
with each other.
461
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,829
But it is not going to go on
like this,
462
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,483
with all of you up in my face
all of the time.
463
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,963
So, what is it going to take
for you to leave me alone?
464
00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:34,966
Huh? What do you want?
465
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:37,273
You! Viking guy,
what do you want?
466
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:41,712
I want to see my people
in the magic box once a day!
467
00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:44,759
- What?
- He wants to watch a show
about Vikings on TV.
468
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,500
- Fine.
- Yes!
469
00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:48,763
You, Wolf of Wall Street,
what do you want?
470
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:51,461
Leave him, kill yourself,
become a ghost and get with me.
471
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,333
But let's keep it casual.
472
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,030
- Gross. You.
- What'd he say?
473
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,945
I heard you mention
you were a writer.
474
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,990
I'd like you
to pen my biography, so that
475
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:00,427
history may know my name.
476
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,124
Now that is actually
quite interesting.
477
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,431
And then take that book,
and adapt it
478
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:05,997
into an award-winning
Broadway musical.
479
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,956
I want you to invite
the descendants
480
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:10,176
of the ten most likely suspects
of my murder to a dinner party.
481
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:13,222
Find out who did it,
and exact revenge.
482
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:14,876
[laughs]
No.
483
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:17,008
- Uh, you, Woodstock--
what do you want?
- Woodstock?
484
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:18,923
Uh, I'm easy.
Just world peace.
485
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,577
And an end
to bear attacks?
486
00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:22,884
Sure. You? Downton Abbey?
487
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,929
Take down that painting
of my awful husband,
488
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:27,715
and patch up the hole your
awful husband put in my wall.
489
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,151
He's not awful when
you get to know him.
490
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,935
- Wait a minute.
- You, next.
491
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:34,113
I'd like the entire Hudson
Valley returned to the Lenape.
492
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,810
Barring that, maybe keep
the radio on in the afternoons?
493
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,116
- Mm, excellent idea.
- That's a good one.
494
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,900
Yes!
We could use
some beats in here.
495
00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:40,467
- Oh, I'd love to dance.
- ALBERTA:
Play my album, Bonsoir.
496
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:42,556
- That would be fun.
- Okay, so that is everybody.
497
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:43,992
[clears throat]
498
00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:46,168
Oh, what about you?
499
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,605
I just wanted to
say hi and welcome.
500
00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:50,912
- Hi.
- Welcome! [laughs]
501
00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:53,567
Wow. So, everybody feeling good?
502
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,786
I'm pretty far
from good.
503
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,788
Ah, my husband still thinks
I'm nuts.
504
00:18:57,832 --> 00:19:00,791
You know what? Follow me.
505
00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:07,885
SAMANTHA:
Okay, now
506
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:10,192
ignite the flame, and
release the gas knob slowly.
507
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,715
[clicking]
Okay.
508
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:13,587
Now hit it twice on
the side, right there.
509
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,458
- Hit it?
- Seriously.
510
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:24,641
Okay, now turn the gas knob on,
and you'll hear a "whoomph."
511
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,296
Nothing.
512
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:29,037
Actually, a little past "on."
The calibration's off.
513
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,300
It's been wonky for
the last 40 years or so.
514
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:34,129
[whoosh]
Whoa. Whoa.
515
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,306
See? How else would
I know any of this?
516
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:43,225
Okay. Well, I guess
I believe you.
517
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:47,621
And... thank you.
518
00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:49,797
They say, "You're welcome."
519
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,407
"They"? There's two of them?
520
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:53,931
Yup.
521
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:56,717
Are we done here?
522
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:00,590
SAMANTHA:
Oh.
523
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,113
- All taken care of?
- Yup.
524
00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:04,377
Yup, covered the hole right up.
525
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,901
This is not the solution.
This is worse!
526
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:10,078
I demand you remedy
this posthaste!
527
00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:13,342
If you're here,
you're welcome.
528
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,735
- Are you starting a new article?
- Toying around
529
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:16,998
- with a book idea, actually.
- Ooh.
530
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:19,043
Mm-mm-mm. More writey-writey,
less talky-talky.
531
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,480
Now, where was I?
532
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:22,351
- You were telling me
about your wife.
- Huh?
533
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:24,266
Oh, no. No, not you.
It's a... it's a ghost thing.
534
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,312
All right. Well, uh, have fun.
535
00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:28,139
ISAAC:
Ah, yes, Beatrice.
536
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,664
She was a handsome woman.
537
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:32,579
We slept in separate bedrooms,
538
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:35,190
to keep the flame
of our passion burning bright.
539
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,410
Now, let's talk
military service.
540
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:40,021
I was a beloved commander,
though I was known for
541
00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:41,065
riding my men hard.
542
00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:48,159
Captioned by
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