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New York City, the world capital
of culture and industry.
2
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,698
Here, among the
towering skyscrapers,
3
00:00:25,699 --> 00:00:30,199
civilization is guided by men of
progress and the wonders of technology.
4
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:34,199
But for all this industrial
advancement, there is a price to pay.
5
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:39,200
Pollution. The unavoidable
byproduct of today's society.
6
00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:45,199
Every year, millions of
gallons of poisonous wastes,
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00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,699
garbage, and radioactive chemicals
are disposed of in nearby towns
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00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:53,700
such as Tromaville, the toxic waste
dumping capital of the world.
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00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,899
Our story takes place at
the Tromaville Health Club
10
00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:59,699
where a young man named
Melvin Furd works.
11
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:02,199
Melvin's entire life, in fact
12
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:07,200
entire being was changed
by toxic chemical waste.
13
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,699
Would you take a look
at that fucking guy?
14
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:35,700
Dumb mop boy can't even mop right.
15
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,199
He's so stupid!
16
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,699
He's always got that
shit-eating grin on his face.
17
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:43,700
What's he so happy about?
18
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:46,200
I hate that mop boy.
19
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:51,700
I think that creep
is coming over here.
20
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,199
Julie, you smell something?
21
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:03,200
Ew! P-U! What's that stink?
22
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:10,200
Gee, that's funny.
I don't smell nothing.
23
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,699
Melvin, clean up the toilet,
it stinks over here!
24
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:18,700
OK. I'll be right there!
25
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,199
Look what you did,
you fucking asshole!
26
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,199
Yeah, you fucking asshole!
27
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,699
- Hey, what are you, retarded?
- Huh? Retarded?
28
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:29,699
I'm sorry!
29
00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:31,199
Sorry, huh?
30
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,698
You want me to go and
get a fucking disease!
31
00:03:32,699 --> 00:03:35,198
Yeah, you want her to go
and get a fucking disease?
32
00:03:35,199 --> 00:03:36,199
I didn't mean it!
33
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,200
Aw, I didn't mean it.
34
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:44,200
Next time you fuck with me, I'm gonna take
this mop and shove it down your throat.
35
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,199
He is stressing me, Julie!
36
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,699
He is stressing me!
37
00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:49,699
Oh, Bozo...
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00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:54,200
I can't take it. I cannot take it Julie.
He is screwing up my karma!
39
00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:59,699
See what you did, you idiot?
See what you did!?
40
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,199
You've stressed Bozo!
41
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,199
I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do it.
He was sitting there and I...
42
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,300
Ah! How dare you talk
to me, you twerp!
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00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:27,700
Keep it up, Bozo. Keep it up.
44
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,699
But remember,
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00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,700
there is only one muscle
you gotta worry about.
46
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:39,199
Hey, you know. I think you ought
to work a little bit on your gut.
47
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,698
You're getting a little
bit flabby there.
48
00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:43,699
Where!? What are you talking about?
49
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,200
I don't got no fat! There's no
fat here. I don't got no f...
50
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,700
Fat! Fat!
51
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,699
Slug, are you sure
no one will come in?
52
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,699
I paid Tony 15 bucks.
53
00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:14,700
He said the place is ours
until tomorrow morning.
54
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:18,699
Relax. You want a drink?
55
00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:21,000
- Yeah.
- Alright.
56
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:31,199
Slug, can I come again next
time you and Bozo go driving?
57
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,099
If you want to, bad enough.
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00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,699
I love it when we go real fast.
59
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,199
And they never know what hit 'em.
60
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,299
They never believe we're
going to run 'em down.
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00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,299
We keep getting closer and closer.
62
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,599
And faster and faster.
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00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,899
They're just standing
there and yeah.
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00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:50,099
We hit them!
65
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,099
I love the sound of breaking bones!
66
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:55,199
The car driving over them,
dragging their bodies.
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00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,699
All that beautiful blood!
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00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,699
Slug!
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00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:02,200
I want you, now.
70
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,700
Oh, Slug!
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00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,400
Oh, Slug!
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00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,400
Give it to me! Give it to me!
More! More!
73
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:48,400
Get out of here, you pervert!
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00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:51,400
Or I'll kill ya!
75
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,199
Julie. Julie, the points.
The rules, what are they?
76
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,699
Let me see if I can
remember the whole list.
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00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:16,699
Now, jews, whops,
niggers and chinks,
78
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,699
they're all worth
twenty-five points.
79
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,699
But Puerto Ricans, they're
worth thirty points.
80
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:27,700
Now kids under twelve they're
worth double points.
81
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,399
Skippy, don't forget your helmet.
82
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,900
OK, sis.
83
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:36,200
And be careful out there.
84
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:42,200
Julie, does it count
if I graze them?
85
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:49,900
You got to destroy them!
Bozo, I want them dead.
86
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,399
Now we're gonna get 'em.
87
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,112
Come on. Come on! Come on!
88
00:07:56,138 --> 00:07:59,425
Where the fuck is everybody?
Where the fuck is everybody?
89
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,399
How much is a kid on a bicycle?
90
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,620
Where?
91
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:14,599
Twenty-eight points if you get
both the kid and the bike?
92
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,600
Let's take a closer look.
93
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,699
Oh, he a cute little boy, isn't he?
94
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,700
Out pretty late, aren't you, honey?
95
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:31,199
The coast is clear, Bozo.
96
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,200
We got him!
97
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,200
We're gonna kill him!
We're gonna get him!
98
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,399
Now you get full points!
99
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:10,400
No way! The kid's still moving!
100
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:14,699
We're not finished yet!
101
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:17,199
He's still moving, no way
you get full points.
102
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:21,200
No way, huh? No way?
I'll fucking show you no way.
103
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,200
Give me that! Gibe me that!
104
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,699
Full points, my man!
105
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:48,700
Look at him! Wow, oh my God!
106
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:59,499
These are gonna be the best
shots we've ever taken.
107
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,500
Yeah, this is fun!
108
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,999
These are great!
109
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,500
Show me your pretty pictures!
110
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,000
That was good! That was good!
111
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,498
I want to do it again!
I want to do it again!
112
00:10:20,499 --> 00:10:24,000
- Yeah, let's do it again!
- Yeah, let's go for it again!
113
00:10:24,001 --> 00:10:26,999
No, no I can't.
I've got to go home.
114
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:27,999
What?
115
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,799
Well, I got to get up
early in the morning.
116
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,799
Got to go to church.
117
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,350
Oh!
118
00:10:39,048 --> 00:10:41,573
And up! Up! Up! Up!
119
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:44,599
Now kick! Out! Out! Out!
120
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,199
Now arms up! Stop. Stop.
121
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,699
That's really pitiful.
Just stop. Just stop a second.
122
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,699
Look how many times do
I have to tell you people?
123
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:55,699
Do exactly what I do.
124
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:58,499
If I kick my right foot,
you kick your right foot.
125
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:01,299
If I kick my left foot,
you kick your left foot.
126
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:04,399
Okay? Whatever I do, you
do exactly the same thing.
127
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:08,499
Okay? Now how about we start again?
You're gonna do exactly what I'm doing.
128
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,650
Okay guys, you know
what I'm talking about?
129
00:11:10,651 --> 00:11:15,400
Let's go, let's do it this time. Okay! Let's
get the music! 5, 6, 7, and hey, hey...
130
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,599
Watch what I'm doing here.
Watch how I hit this ball.
131
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,624
Are you watching me!?
Are you watching me!?
132
00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:45,399
I'm going to kill it! I'm going
to kill it! I'm going to kill it!
133
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:50,400
Aah! I'm gonna kick
that freak's mouth in!
134
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:55,499
Bozo, it's okay. It's okay.
Hey, guys, come here.
135
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:59,354
Have I got a plan to fix
that mop boys wagon.
136
00:11:59,355 --> 00:12:01,050
Great! What is it?
137
00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:03,041
Well...
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00:12:07,447 --> 00:12:08,404
Hi, Melvin.
139
00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:10,499
Whoa!
140
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:13,962
Melvin. Melvin, it's okay.
It's okay.
141
00:12:13,963 --> 00:12:20,499
Hey, I just came to apologize. Yes,
I didn't mean to be so nasty yesterday.
142
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,999
Oh, that's okay, Julie.
I didn't really mind.
143
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,499
In fact, I was hoping
you could help me,
144
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,724
with a little problem.
I've been having.
145
00:12:27,725 --> 00:12:29,999
- Who, me?
- Yes but...
146
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,500
I can't talk about here with
all these people around.
147
00:12:33,507 --> 00:12:36,271
Hey, I got a great idea.
148
00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:38,500
Why don't you meet me in
the girls locker room?
149
00:12:38,811 --> 00:12:40,631
Girls' locker room?
150
00:12:40,632 --> 00:12:44,991
Yes. Then we can discuss it alone.
151
00:12:44,992 --> 00:12:47,733
Oh, oh!
152
00:12:49,749 --> 00:12:51,272
Okay.
153
00:12:51,273 --> 00:12:53,499
Great! Let's say 7 o'clock.
154
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,448
Okay. That'll be good for me, too,
'cause I gotta to clean the toilets
155
00:12:56,449 --> 00:12:59,500
in there around that time anyway.
156
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:01,499
Good. It's a date. See you then.
157
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,000
Okay.
158
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:13,990
490... 491... 492...
159
00:13:15,391 --> 00:13:23,499
493... 494... 495...
160
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:28,226
Hi, guys. Well, Melvin fell
for it. Hook line and sinker.
161
00:13:28,227 --> 00:13:29,400
Great!
162
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,499
We've been driving
for two whole hours.
163
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:41,120
Let's pull this rig
over and take a break.
164
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,526
Hey, the boss'll have our asses.
165
00:13:42,527 --> 00:13:44,752
You know he don't want us
to stop in habitated areas
166
00:13:44,753 --> 00:13:47,499
with this radioactive chemical
waste we got on the back.
167
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:51,226
It's dangerous. It's like that
cancerogenic stuff, you know.
168
00:13:51,227 --> 00:13:55,385
Hey Joey, you remember that dope
we were snorting last week?
169
00:13:55,386 --> 00:13:59,744
- Do I?
- Well, buddy boy. Check this out.
170
00:13:59,745 --> 00:14:01,499
Holy shit! Why didn't you say so.
171
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:04,000
Let's pull it over!
172
00:14:13,023 --> 00:14:14,421
Julie.
173
00:14:14,547 --> 00:14:17,919
- Hi, Melvin.
- Hi, Julie.
174
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,441
Come in, don't be shy.
175
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:24,878
So, what was it that you
wanted me to help you with?
176
00:14:24,879 --> 00:14:26,999
- Well, it's about Bozo.
- Bozo?
177
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,999
Yeah, you see, I'm so sick
of the way he goes around
178
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,499
pushing people around all the time.
179
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,499
He's so immature.
180
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:37,499
In fact, I don't like to
go out with him anymore.
181
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:40,999
But I don't know quite
how to tell him.
182
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,499
In fact, Melvin,
I think you're handsome,
183
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:50,372
and sensitive and kind.
184
00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:55,245
Oh, Melvin, I find
you irresistible.
185
00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:57,500
- Me?
- Yes.
186
00:14:57,721 --> 00:15:00,155
Melvin, I want to do it with you.
187
00:15:00,156 --> 00:15:00,893
Do it?
188
00:15:00,894 --> 00:15:01,810
Do it!
189
00:15:01,811 --> 00:15:02,697
Do what?
190
00:15:02,698 --> 00:15:03,999
Do it, Melvin, do it!
191
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,621
Do it? Okay.
192
00:15:07,622 --> 00:15:10,634
Wait a minute. Have I got
a great idea, Melvin.
193
00:15:10,635 --> 00:15:11,641
What is it?
194
00:15:11,642 --> 00:15:13,368
We'll go down by the pool.
195
00:15:13,369 --> 00:15:16,307
And afterward we can
take a cool dip.
196
00:15:16,346 --> 00:15:17,959
Alright.
197
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,241
There's one other
little thing, Melvin.
198
00:15:21,452 --> 00:15:23,500
You're not wearing pink.
199
00:15:23,686 --> 00:15:27,000
- Pink?
- It's my favorite color.
200
00:15:27,161 --> 00:15:29,999
I have my pink on.
201
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,499
So, I brought this for you.
202
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:39,971
- But this is sissy stuff.
- Oh, no, Melvin. Pink makes me so hot.
203
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,500
- It does.
- Yes.
204
00:15:42,534 --> 00:15:47,342
If you put on your pink,
I'll take off my pink.
205
00:15:52,335 --> 00:15:57,000
- I love pink!
- Hurry up, I'll be waiting for you.
206
00:15:58,176 --> 00:16:00,832
- And bring your mop.
- I will!
207
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:26,499
- Julie?
- Here I am, Melvin.
208
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:30,233
It's so dark in here, where
are you? I can't see you
209
00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:34,500
I'm right here, Melvin. Come here.
210
00:16:34,718 --> 00:16:37,500
My lips are waiting
for you, Melvin.
211
00:16:37,742 --> 00:16:40,285
Whoa, put your arms around me.
212
00:16:40,286 --> 00:16:44,349
Oh, Julie! Julie!
Oh, Julie! I'm here!
213
00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:47,000
Okay! Turn on the light!
214
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:50,927
You're so soft, Julie.
215
00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:52,319
Baaa.
216
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,820
Ooh!
217
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,646
Ooh, he doesn't look
very good to me.
218
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:31,272
He's faking it, Julie!
He's faking it.
219
00:18:34,952 --> 00:18:36,311
I think he's in trouble.
220
00:18:36,312 --> 00:18:39,812
Julie, this guy, if he can't
take a joke, he stinks.
221
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,854
Get back! Get back!
Step off! Get back!
222
00:18:45,855 --> 00:18:47,339
Get out of here!
223
00:18:47,381 --> 00:18:49,058
Easy, guy.
224
00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:08,197
Melvin's on fire! Melvin's on fire!
225
00:19:24,281 --> 00:19:27,521
Melvin, dear, are you alright?
226
00:19:28,882 --> 00:19:31,130
Is anything the matter?
227
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,811
God, my arms! Ow! Ow!
228
00:19:41,178 --> 00:19:42,899
Oh my feet!
229
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,892
Oh my God!
230
00:20:23,773 --> 00:20:25,894
Are you okay?
231
00:20:40,351 --> 00:20:42,784
Melvin, dear, are you alright?
232
00:21:21,045 --> 00:21:27,545
My little Melvin! He must
have finally reached puberty.
233
00:21:43,523 --> 00:21:46,030
One. Two.
234
00:21:46,031 --> 00:21:48,998
Three. Four. Five.
235
00:21:48,999 --> 00:21:51,748
When we lay this wad
on, old Clancy.
236
00:21:51,749 --> 00:21:54,939
The boss is going to
have him by the balls.
237
00:21:55,923 --> 00:21:58,391
I don't think old Clancy
will take the money.
238
00:21:58,392 --> 00:22:01,094
Everyone says he's an honest cop.
239
00:22:01,095 --> 00:22:05,499
If he don't take the dough,
I'm gonna give him a blow.
240
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,233
Ha ha!
241
00:22:06,234 --> 00:22:08,976
A pair of knuckles.
242
00:22:13,528 --> 00:22:19,355
Well, if it ain't, Cigar Face. What
are you and your friends up to?
243
00:22:19,356 --> 00:22:22,104
We brought you a little
present from the boss.
244
00:22:22,105 --> 00:22:23,387
Here.
245
00:22:26,686 --> 00:22:29,908
No way. You're wasting your time.
246
00:22:29,909 --> 00:22:32,423
No. That's where you're wrong.
247
00:22:32,424 --> 00:22:34,500
You're wasting our time.
248
00:22:36,078 --> 00:22:38,578
Now we're going to waste you!
249
00:22:39,281 --> 00:22:40,781
Ow!
250
00:22:42,164 --> 00:22:47,512
Now you're going to find out
why they call me Cigar Face.
251
00:22:58,507 --> 00:23:00,231
Get him Nipples, yeah!
252
00:23:08,867 --> 00:23:10,620
Come on, now. Come on!
253
00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:22,439
What the matter, Clancy?
254
00:23:25,656 --> 00:23:27,408
Get him!
255
00:23:37,523 --> 00:23:42,485
Honest cops are all alike!
A bunch of fuckin' fagots!
256
00:23:42,958 --> 00:23:46,412
What do you say, shall I
blow his nose off or what?
257
00:23:46,413 --> 00:23:48,944
Boss says if he doesn't
want to cooperate,
258
00:23:48,945 --> 00:23:51,967
we should make love to him.
259
00:23:52,366 --> 00:23:56,248
Well, whatever the boss says, goes.
260
00:23:56,780 --> 00:24:00,163
No... No, no, please!
Please, oh God, please.
261
00:24:00,164 --> 00:24:03,639
No, no. No, please. Come on.
I've got a family!
262
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,303
Say your prayers, copper!
263
00:24:14,437 --> 00:24:15,954
Holy shit!
264
00:24:40,037 --> 00:24:44,996
Could that be the, O'Shanahee
boy back from school.
265
00:24:46,241 --> 00:24:47,793
No! No!
266
00:26:19,992 --> 00:26:23,342
I'll get you for this,
you monster faggot!
267
00:26:37,218 --> 00:26:39,439
Don't worry. Don't
worry, I won't hurt you.
268
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,338
I don't know what came over me.
269
00:26:42,538 --> 00:26:45,061
I just couldn't control myself.
270
00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:47,978
I've never done anything
like this before.
271
00:26:58,796 --> 00:27:00,064
Bye.
272
00:27:01,546 --> 00:27:02,939
Quiet!
273
00:27:03,529 --> 00:27:06,741
Quiet!
274
00:27:06,742 --> 00:27:14,190
Now, you will raise your hand and you
will ask one question at a time.
275
00:27:14,219 --> 00:27:15,920
Exactly where did it happen?
276
00:27:15,921 --> 00:27:18,317
It happened in Shinbone Alley.
277
00:27:18,318 --> 00:27:20,326
These three guys were
going to kill me, see.
278
00:27:20,327 --> 00:27:24,373
And then of nowhere comes
this thing, this monster,
279
00:27:24,374 --> 00:27:26,639
I never seen anything
like it before.
280
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,309
Because it took the three
guys and threw them away.
281
00:27:30,310 --> 00:27:34,810
I don't know what it was but, but God
bless him, 'cause he saved my life.
282
00:27:47,046 --> 00:27:48,953
Alright, boys.
283
00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:51,100
Chief, what have you got?
284
00:27:51,803 --> 00:27:55,825
That alleyway was the most
gruesome sight I have ever seen.
285
00:27:55,826 --> 00:27:57,640
Gruesome, huh?
286
00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:00,099
Have you ever met my mother-in-law?
287
00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:02,099
Now, that's gruesome
288
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,278
What about Cigar Face?
289
00:28:03,279 --> 00:28:05,099
Have we gotten anything
out of him yet?
290
00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:08,099
He must still be in shock.
All he does is sit around
291
00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:11,514
all day babbling about
some seven foot monster.
292
00:28:11,515 --> 00:28:14,599
Yeah, and the only other clue
we've got are those mops,
293
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,599
stuffed in their mouths.
294
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:21,145
Mops... It must be some sort of political
statement. Do we have any suspects?
295
00:28:21,146 --> 00:28:26,099
Nah, the whole town is suspect. Knuckles
and Nipples were hated by everyone.
296
00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:29,599
Not by me. They were our
two best producers.
297
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,919
Speaking of which, I almost forgot.
298
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,557
The boys made their rounds last
night and here is the collection.
299
00:28:35,558 --> 00:28:37,614
Yeah, and it would've been
double if it wasn't for this
300
00:28:37,615 --> 00:28:40,841
devastating tragic turn of events.
301
00:28:40,842 --> 00:28:42,216
Yeah.
302
00:29:39,818 --> 00:29:43,099
Slug, will you stop with
that Elephant Man bullshit.
303
00:29:43,100 --> 00:29:49,232
I am not an animal.
I'm Melvin, the mop boy.
304
00:29:57,100 --> 00:30:00,508
- Who is it?
- It's me, Ma. Melvin.
305
00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:12,114
Ma? Ah, Ma!
306
00:31:20,928 --> 00:31:25,028
Tom. Tom, is he dead?
307
00:31:25,029 --> 00:31:26,713
Hey, Tom.
308
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:31,303
Yeah, over here. Tom, the
zoning board has designated
309
00:31:31,304 --> 00:31:35,765
the old Rawlins Chemical Plant as
the new toxic waste dump site.
310
00:31:36,100 --> 00:31:40,368
Now that's contaminated, but
valuable waterfront property.
311
00:31:44,826 --> 00:31:49,051
We think it's a crime to let that
property go to waste as a dump.
312
00:31:49,052 --> 00:31:52,324
You are aware, of course, that that
would place our new toxic chemical dump
313
00:31:52,325 --> 00:31:55,647
just 20 feet from the reservoir
for the entire area.
314
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,584
Gentlemen, I think we have a deal.
315
00:32:06,114 --> 00:32:09,672
Here to better living
through chemistry.
316
00:32:31,716 --> 00:32:35,716
Mr. Fred! Mr. Fred, what's
wrong with this thing!?
317
00:32:50,114 --> 00:32:51,216
Alright, everybody!
318
00:32:51,217 --> 00:32:54,293
Drop your tacos or I'll
blow your brains out!
319
00:32:56,787 --> 00:32:58,715
Rico, get the cash register!
320
00:32:58,716 --> 00:33:01,158
Okay, you got it!
321
00:33:02,229 --> 00:33:04,393
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
322
00:33:04,412 --> 00:33:07,372
We are the entertainment
for this afternoon.
323
00:33:07,373 --> 00:33:11,889
Now on shotgun, we've
got my man Leroy.
324
00:33:12,467 --> 00:33:16,638
On cash register we've
got magic fingers, Rico!
325
00:33:16,639 --> 00:33:18,069
That's me.
326
00:33:18,201 --> 00:33:22,405
And last but not least,
yours truly Frank.
327
00:33:23,811 --> 00:33:25,366
On the stick.
328
00:33:27,561 --> 00:33:28,984
Shut up!
329
00:33:29,740 --> 00:33:32,068
Now if you all do just
what we tell you,
330
00:33:32,069 --> 00:33:36,783
you just might, just might get
your asses home all intact.
331
00:33:37,982 --> 00:33:43,416
Look who we got here!
A little mother, and a littler baby.
332
00:33:44,232 --> 00:33:46,884
Do you like Mexican
food, little baby?
333
00:33:47,219 --> 00:33:48,969
Well, How'd you like to
have this hot tamale
334
00:33:48,970 --> 00:33:51,072
shoved down your throat?
335
00:33:53,186 --> 00:33:54,923
What are you looking at?
336
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,360
Hey, Frank, teeny boppers!
337
00:34:00,609 --> 00:34:02,399
You like video games,
teeny boppers?
338
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,985
Your mom give you
quarters for video games?
339
00:34:04,986 --> 00:34:06,635
Well, cough them up!
340
00:34:07,508 --> 00:34:10,117
Hey, this one's cute, Frank.
341
00:34:10,118 --> 00:34:12,492
Look how cute she is, Frank.
342
00:34:12,493 --> 00:34:14,746
Say, Leroy, I think she likes you.
343
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,325
Hey, why don't you leave her alone?
344
00:34:26,259 --> 00:34:28,669
We'll give you our money,
if you want money.
345
00:34:29,055 --> 00:34:31,359
Hey, look, pal, why don't
you just let everyone go
346
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,399
and keep me as a hostage, huh?
347
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:34,376
Huh?
348
00:34:34,642 --> 00:34:37,330
That's an idea, ainft it, Frank?
349
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,291
- Yeah.
- No, thanks.
350
00:34:50,633 --> 00:34:53,909
Shut up! It was self defense.
351
00:34:56,502 --> 00:35:00,686
Yo, Leroy, check out this
pretty little thing,
352
00:35:00,767 --> 00:35:03,302
and the bitch got a dog.
353
00:35:04,353 --> 00:35:07,539
Hey, wait a minute.
I think this bitch is blind.
354
00:35:07,540 --> 00:35:10,068
Are you sure she is blind, Frank?
355
00:35:13,056 --> 00:35:15,453
Yeah, the bitch is blind.
356
00:35:15,454 --> 00:35:16,195
Ow!
357
00:35:16,196 --> 00:35:18,460
Hey, what are you doing?
Don't do that!
358
00:35:18,461 --> 00:35:19,782
Let go of me!
359
00:35:20,900 --> 00:35:24,235
Yo, Leroy, you want to
walk this damn dog!
360
00:35:24,673 --> 00:35:26,344
Yeah, sure, Frank.
361
00:35:30,111 --> 00:35:31,463
Gary?
362
00:35:33,142 --> 00:35:35,788
Harry! What have you
done to my dog?
363
00:35:35,789 --> 00:35:38,220
I didn't do anything to
the dog, but listen...
364
00:35:38,236 --> 00:35:39,333
Gary! Gary!
365
00:35:39,334 --> 00:35:40,762
You wanna meet my friend, Ben?
366
00:35:40,763 --> 00:35:43,387
We's make everything alright.
Just let me introduce you to Ben.
367
00:35:43,388 --> 00:35:44,461
Ben who!?
368
00:35:44,462 --> 00:35:46,962
Ben Dover!
369
00:35:49,775 --> 00:35:54,946
Hey, Leroy, you know I always did
want to cornhole me a blind bitch.
370
00:35:54,947 --> 00:35:56,179
Ow!
371
00:35:56,180 --> 00:35:58,027
I'm going to enjoy this!
372
00:36:02,110 --> 00:36:04,590
Yeah, it's going to be nice.
373
00:36:06,009 --> 00:36:07,894
What the shit!?
374
00:36:21,970 --> 00:36:24,197
Okay, you motherfucker!
375
00:39:26,290 --> 00:39:30,164
No, no, no! We were only kidding!
376
00:39:30,165 --> 00:39:33,094
What's the matter?
You can't take a joke?
377
00:39:33,095 --> 00:39:34,727
We were only kidding.
378
00:39:34,728 --> 00:39:37,500
Please, no!
You can't do this to me!
379
00:39:40,196 --> 00:39:43,155
No! Please! Please, stop it!
380
00:39:43,156 --> 00:39:46,265
Stop, no! No!
381
00:39:46,266 --> 00:39:48,891
No! We were, we were only kidding!
382
00:40:31,509 --> 00:40:35,467
Please, please don't touch me!
383
00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:36,899
Please!
384
00:40:36,900 --> 00:40:40,211
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's alright.
I'm not going to hurt you.
385
00:40:40,212 --> 00:40:41,336
Are you okay?
386
00:40:41,337 --> 00:40:45,180
Yes, I think so. My dog!
387
00:40:45,181 --> 00:40:49,423
Those men killed my dog!
They shot my dog!
388
00:40:49,477 --> 00:40:52,336
Could you take me out
of here, please?
389
00:40:53,860 --> 00:40:58,124
Please. I'll never make it
by myself without my dog.
390
00:40:58,125 --> 00:40:59,242
Please.
391
00:40:59,243 --> 00:41:03,766
Okay, alright, but come on,
let's go out the back way.
392
00:41:03,767 --> 00:41:07,593
Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you.
Come on, I'll help you up.
393
00:41:33,994 --> 00:41:36,981
- Don't trip over the step, Melvin.
- What?
394
00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:40,934
I'd better get my cane.
395
00:41:45,384 --> 00:41:46,515
Why don't you have a seat?
396
00:41:46,516 --> 00:41:47,899
There's a place for
you on your left.
397
00:41:47,900 --> 00:41:48,906
Right over there.
398
00:41:48,907 --> 00:41:50,250
Ow!
399
00:41:50,251 --> 00:41:51,899
Would like you like
something to eat?
400
00:41:51,900 --> 00:41:52,899
Uh-huh.
401
00:41:52,900 --> 00:41:54,695
Is peanut butter and jelly, okay?
402
00:41:54,696 --> 00:41:55,758
Uh-huh.
403
00:41:55,759 --> 00:41:57,145
Good.
404
00:41:59,236 --> 00:42:01,762
Now, boys, what have we got here?
405
00:42:02,205 --> 00:42:05,454
Looks like we got a nice crispy
taco supreme over here, chief.
406
00:42:08,150 --> 00:42:11,527
Looks like I got a a strawberry
thickshake over here.
407
00:42:13,126 --> 00:42:14,180
What have you got?
408
00:42:14,181 --> 00:42:16,863
I've got a pizza with
the works to go, Jimmy.
409
00:42:17,267 --> 00:42:21,649
Chief, it was unbelievable.
It had an eye up over here,
410
00:42:21,650 --> 00:42:23,930
His nose was twisted to the side.
411
00:42:23,931 --> 00:42:24,631
Huh?
412
00:42:24,632 --> 00:42:27,054
It was the strangest thing
I ever saw in my life.
413
00:42:27,055 --> 00:42:30,609
Sure. But it was a
pink elephant, too.
414
00:42:30,610 --> 00:42:33,311
I'm telling ya, these guys
were going to kill us.
415
00:42:33,312 --> 00:42:36,836
It saved our lives. It was a hero.
416
00:42:36,837 --> 00:42:38,621
A hero!
417
00:42:40,243 --> 00:42:41,879
This guy is drunk.
418
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,492
Would you mind if I
touched your face?
419
00:42:47,493 --> 00:42:48,093
No!
420
00:42:48,094 --> 00:42:52,039
No? Why not?
I won't hurt you, Melvin.
421
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:56,547
It's not that. It's just that
I have a rash on my face.
422
00:42:56,548 --> 00:42:59,000
A rash? You mean acne?
423
00:42:59,001 --> 00:43:02,055
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it.
It's nothing to worry about
424
00:43:02,056 --> 00:43:03,899
but I wouldn't want
you to touch it.
425
00:43:03,900 --> 00:43:06,399
You shouldn't be ashamed of acne.
426
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,399
Everybody's had acne at
one time or another.
427
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,836
Hey, I know. Would you like
me to tell your fortune?
428
00:43:12,837 --> 00:43:13,555
Huh?
429
00:43:13,556 --> 00:43:16,630
I read palms. Give me your hand.
430
00:43:19,300 --> 00:43:22,058
What big hands you have.
431
00:43:22,246 --> 00:43:24,605
I bet you're very strong.
432
00:43:24,725 --> 00:43:27,399
Hmm. Let me see.
You're going to have
433
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,899
a lot of good things coming
too you in the future.
434
00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:34,399
You're going to become
a very important man.
435
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,996
Let me see your other hand.
436
00:43:41,461 --> 00:43:44,469
Oops! Sorry.
437
00:43:51,870 --> 00:43:53,916
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
438
00:43:53,917 --> 00:43:57,399
With us this afternoon is,
Dr. Mertyn Snodberger
439
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,899
from the Garden State State
Cerebral Reflex Research Center.
440
00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:03,087
Ah, can you tell me, sir,
441
00:44:03,088 --> 00:44:06,719
is it true that the monster
only attacks bad people?
442
00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:12,399
Ja. Ja. Since only bad, evil
people have been destroyed
443
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:18,320
by the monster, I would have
to answer your question. Ja.
444
00:44:18,321 --> 00:44:21,526
From traces that have
been found on the scenes
445
00:44:21,527 --> 00:44:25,899
of the crime, and analyzed,
we have determined
446
00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:29,399
that whatever it is, this
monster has been exposed
447
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,961
to toxic chemical waste.
448
00:44:33,103 --> 00:44:35,070
Achoo!
449
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:44,399
It is also highly probable
that this monster may
450
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:48,399
have developed a very basic
instinct which draws him,
451
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:55,128
or should I say, commands
him to destroy evil.
452
00:45:12,845 --> 00:45:15,703
That new camera really
captures the moment!
453
00:45:15,704 --> 00:45:20,542
I know. The reds are so red!
Really get me hot!
454
00:45:31,908 --> 00:45:32,718
Mr. Mayor?
455
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:33,273
Yeah?
456
00:45:33,274 --> 00:45:37,733
I got todayfs receipts from
the drug division. Ha ha!
457
00:45:37,734 --> 00:45:40,383
Good boy, Dennis. Put it
over there on the table.
458
00:45:40,384 --> 00:45:42,402
Bookie will get to it later.
459
00:48:11,086 --> 00:48:13,177
Listen, you asshole, how
many times are you going to
460
00:48:13,178 --> 00:48:15,216
pull that Elephant Man joke?
461
00:48:31,595 --> 00:48:34,025
Let this be a lesson
to you, hot ass!
462
00:48:41,634 --> 00:48:45,672
This monster may have developed
a very basic instinct,
463
00:48:45,673 --> 00:48:49,137
to destroy evil.
464
00:48:49,220 --> 00:48:51,406
Hey, you! In the alley!
465
00:48:51,407 --> 00:48:57,188
Hey, knucklehead! How about
some nice young poontang, huh?
466
00:48:57,189 --> 00:49:01,061
No! No, take me home!
No, take me home!
467
00:49:01,062 --> 00:49:03,023
No, you lied to me!
468
00:49:03,024 --> 00:49:06,116
You said you were going to take me
to see the David Bowie concert!
469
00:49:06,117 --> 00:49:08,405
He's not David Bowie!
470
00:49:09,101 --> 00:49:14,265
Only twelve years old,
and only twelve dollars!
471
00:49:18,486 --> 00:49:21,366
Boys! Boys! Help!
472
00:49:24,944 --> 00:49:27,944
Help, boys! Help!
473
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,140
And you can tell all your
scum friends that things
474
00:50:02,141 --> 00:50:04,609
are going to change in this town!
475
00:50:04,610 --> 00:50:06,815
I'm not just another pretty face!
476
00:50:33,246 --> 00:50:36,366
Two prime candidates.
477
00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:37,750
Yeah.
478
00:50:37,751 --> 00:50:39,973
Rack 'em up!
479
00:50:50,220 --> 00:50:52,720
- Wow!
- Wow!
480
00:51:54,532 --> 00:51:56,547
I hear the monster is so big.
481
00:51:56,548 --> 00:51:59,148
Well, I bet he's got his eye on me.
482
00:51:59,149 --> 00:52:01,727
For your information, everyone
knows Monster Prefer Blondes!
483
00:52:01,728 --> 00:52:04,321
There's a feeling going
around town that this monster
484
00:52:04,322 --> 00:52:06,508
is here to protect the people.
485
00:52:06,509 --> 00:52:09,367
And the jail's are
becoming overcrowded.
486
00:52:09,368 --> 00:52:13,141
This monster has cleaned the
streets of every criminal.
487
00:52:13,142 --> 00:52:18,141
Almost all the criminals.
He hasn't gotten us yet.
488
00:52:18,142 --> 00:52:20,586
What the hell are we going to
do about this monster, eh?
489
00:52:20,587 --> 00:52:23,469
I'll tell you what we're going
to do. We're going to kill him.
490
00:52:23,470 --> 00:52:28,727
Because if we don't kill
him, he's going to kill us.
491
00:52:33,291 --> 00:52:36,624
I owe you for the other
night, monster fagot!
492
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:44,680
So now we're going to give
you six new assholes,
493
00:52:44,681 --> 00:52:47,967
compliments of me, Cigar Face!
494
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:06,719
Boom! You should've seen it!
His teeth was everywhere!
495
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:09,220
They looked like Chiclets!
496
00:53:09,352 --> 00:53:11,935
Hey, what are you doing, blondie?
497
00:53:11,936 --> 00:53:13,617
I'm waiting for my boyfriend.
498
00:53:13,618 --> 00:53:14,913
She's waiting for her boyfriend.
499
00:53:14,914 --> 00:53:18,223
Well, maybe I'm going to
be your boyfriend, baby!
500
00:53:18,376 --> 00:53:21,687
Hey, stop that! My
boyfriend won't like that!
501
00:53:21,688 --> 00:53:25,427
Maybe we'll have to take care of
that wimp of a boyfriend, huh?
502
00:53:25,663 --> 00:53:26,898
Melvin! Melvin!
503
00:53:26,899 --> 00:53:27,727
Melvin!
504
00:53:27,728 --> 00:53:28,899
Melvin!?
505
00:53:28,900 --> 00:53:30,326
Melvin!
506
00:53:30,327 --> 00:53:33,774
Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys?
507
00:53:53,610 --> 00:53:58,740
Why, Melvin, you're beautiful.
You're a beautiful person.
508
00:54:00,189 --> 00:54:06,005
You're so muscular. It's been
two years since I touched a man.
509
00:54:09,158 --> 00:54:14,728
What are you doing to me?
I've never felt like this before.
510
00:56:11,086 --> 00:56:12,312
Murderer!
511
00:56:17,220 --> 00:56:19,332
I'm gonna teach you a
lesson you'll never forget!
512
00:56:35,714 --> 00:56:36,419
No!
513
00:56:36,420 --> 00:56:38,220
Sorry, madam.
514
00:56:46,103 --> 00:56:49,940
Open up please, open up!
515
00:56:50,610 --> 00:56:55,110
Help me! Oh, please
open up! Help me!
516
00:57:01,649 --> 00:57:03,182
Going up?
517
00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:09,225
Let me out Let me out!
Please, someone help me!
518
00:58:22,540 --> 00:58:27,414
Aah! She's stressing me, Slug!
Julie is stressing me, Slug!
519
00:58:27,415 --> 00:58:29,649
I can't take it!
I cannot take this, Slug!
520
00:58:29,650 --> 00:58:31,507
She's not here with car
and I've got to drive.
521
00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:33,022
I gotta drive, Slug!
I gotta drive!
522
00:58:33,023 --> 00:58:35,444
Alright, already. Alright.
Will you chill out?
523
00:58:40,648 --> 00:58:44,921
Hey, how would you like
to be behind the wheel
524
00:58:44,922 --> 00:58:47,739
of a beautiful Japanese import?
525
00:58:50,322 --> 00:58:52,594
Oh, that would be good!
526
00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:58,187
Hi, can we help?
527
00:58:58,188 --> 00:59:00,180
Oh, you sure can.
528
00:59:01,033 --> 00:59:04,032
Thank you so much.
Oh, it's so nice to have you
529
00:59:04,033 --> 00:59:06,910
boys like you here
in the neighborhood.
530
00:59:12,603 --> 00:59:16,831
Oh, what a feeling, today!
531
00:59:26,533 --> 00:59:29,532
Did you see her face
when I punched her?
532
00:59:29,533 --> 00:59:32,260
I beat that old lady like a dog!
533
00:59:34,033 --> 00:59:36,255
Slug, there's that thing again!
534
00:59:37,736 --> 00:59:39,403
Let's get it!
535
00:59:46,282 --> 00:59:48,781
Shit! He's on the roof!
He's on the roof!
536
00:59:48,782 --> 00:59:51,147
Get him off! He's going
to kill both of us!
537
00:59:51,416 --> 00:59:54,115
Swerve the car, Bozo!
Swerve the car!
538
00:59:55,056 --> 00:59:57,283
I can't control the car!
539
01:00:03,337 --> 01:00:05,945
He's still there, swerve it again!
Swerve it again!
540
01:00:13,033 --> 01:00:16,033
I can't get him off the car, Slug!
I can't get him off!
541
01:00:20,149 --> 01:00:22,062
Slug, I'm going to die!
542
01:00:22,063 --> 01:00:25,131
Take the wheel, Slug!
Take the wheel!
543
01:00:25,218 --> 01:00:27,032
I'm stressed!
544
01:00:27,033 --> 01:00:28,483
Ah, what?
545
01:00:29,220 --> 01:00:30,720
What?
546
01:00:37,611 --> 01:00:39,611
Get out of here!
547
01:00:44,468 --> 01:00:45,718
No!
548
01:00:49,805 --> 01:00:51,648
See how you like this
face, huh, Bozo?
549
01:00:51,649 --> 01:00:54,760
You know who this is?
It's Melvin, that's who it is!
550
01:01:17,533 --> 01:01:20,126
Hey, hey, hey, what about
the kid on the bike, Bozo?
551
01:01:20,127 --> 01:01:23,127
How does it feel to hit a
kid on a bike? Feels good!
552
01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:27,391
I've got problems! I've got
problems! I'm a stressed person!
553
01:01:31,951 --> 01:01:33,404
No, no!
554
01:02:10,900 --> 01:02:12,659
Give me the wheel!
555
01:02:15,033 --> 01:02:18,080
Just give me the wheel!
You'll going to kill both of us!
556
01:02:19,782 --> 01:02:24,282
You want the wheel?
Here, take the wheel!
557
01:03:35,533 --> 01:03:38,032
Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson!
558
01:03:38,033 --> 01:03:40,172
Mrs Haskel, how are you?
559
01:03:40,173 --> 01:03:41,423
Fine, thank you.
560
01:03:41,424 --> 01:03:43,211
How are the boys?
561
01:03:43,212 --> 01:03:46,977
Those boys are such terrors.
Especially Scott.
562
01:03:46,978 --> 01:03:50,251
He took his best girl out
last night and he came home
563
01:03:50,252 --> 01:03:53,539
with these stains,
all over his pants.
564
01:03:53,649 --> 01:03:55,646
I don't know what they are.
565
01:03:55,647 --> 01:03:56,882
I don't either.
566
01:03:56,883 --> 01:03:58,883
Do you think you can get them out?
567
01:04:00,071 --> 01:04:03,828
My car! They're putting
a ticket on my car!
568
01:04:03,829 --> 01:04:06,514
Mrs. Haskel, don't move. Don't
move. Stay right where you are.
569
01:04:06,515 --> 01:04:07,396
I'll be right back.
570
01:04:07,397 --> 01:04:10,717
You can't give me a ticket! You can't give
me a ticket! I have to go to a funeral...
571
01:04:13,782 --> 01:04:16,234
Hey, who do you think
you're pushing?
572
01:04:17,149 --> 01:04:18,742
What do you want?
573
01:04:18,906 --> 01:04:21,734
Stay away from me!
Stay away from me!
574
01:04:21,735 --> 01:04:25,699
Help! Help! Help! Help!
575
01:04:25,700 --> 01:04:30,086
Stay away from me!
Stay away from me! Help!
576
01:04:30,087 --> 01:04:32,578
Help! Help!
577
01:04:32,579 --> 01:04:33,858
What the...?
578
01:04:35,766 --> 01:04:38,553
Put me down! I didn't do anything!
579
01:04:44,822 --> 01:04:47,379
No Dickie here. No washie.
580
01:04:57,353 --> 01:05:01,853
Please, don't give me a ticket!
Please, don't give me a ticket!
581
01:05:06,502 --> 01:05:09,532
Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what
we can do with these stains.
582
01:05:09,533 --> 01:05:13,508
Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel, what
are you doing back there?
583
01:05:13,509 --> 01:05:16,598
You know customers are not
allowed on that machine.
584
01:05:17,017 --> 01:05:19,017
Mrs. Haskel.
585
01:06:06,673 --> 01:06:09,242
Melvin, is that you?
586
01:06:12,775 --> 01:06:14,578
Melvin?
587
01:06:18,833 --> 01:06:20,474
Who's there?
588
01:06:21,613 --> 01:06:23,337
Who is that?
589
01:06:35,286 --> 01:06:38,786
It's me, Sarah. Only me.
590
01:06:39,027 --> 01:06:42,244
You scared me. Is something wrong?
591
01:06:42,245 --> 01:06:44,745
Everything is wrong.
592
01:06:44,996 --> 01:06:47,089
What the matter? What have I done?
593
01:06:47,090 --> 01:06:51,277
No, it's not what you've done.
It's what I've done.
594
01:06:51,278 --> 01:06:53,332
I think I'm out of control.
595
01:06:53,333 --> 01:06:57,730
You see, you're blind, Sara.
You don't know who I am.
596
01:06:58,333 --> 01:07:01,832
I'm really the monster
hero you heard about.
597
01:07:01,833 --> 01:07:04,924
And everyday I go out
and I mash people.
598
01:07:04,925 --> 01:07:07,902
I tear them apart and I can't stop.
599
01:07:07,903 --> 01:07:09,238
You better move back
to your apartment.
600
01:07:09,239 --> 01:07:10,769
I don't think its safe
for you to be around me.
601
01:07:10,770 --> 01:07:16,292
Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave
you now. I love you, Melvin.
602
01:07:17,855 --> 01:07:20,832
I wish we could go somewhere.
603
01:07:20,833 --> 01:07:25,462
Yeah, some far away place.
Where there are no people.
604
01:07:25,463 --> 01:07:27,933
Where I can't kill anybody.
605
01:07:27,934 --> 01:07:31,332
What about that spot near Millers
farm that you told me about?
606
01:07:31,333 --> 01:07:33,332
Where you used to go to be alone.
607
01:07:33,333 --> 01:07:35,697
You said that was a
very special place.
608
01:07:35,698 --> 01:07:39,680
Well, we could try it.
609
01:07:40,333 --> 01:07:42,832
Do you think I look
inconspicuous enough?
610
01:07:42,833 --> 01:07:45,833
I'll feel better when
we get to the campsite.
611
01:07:48,090 --> 01:07:49,261
Mayor, Mayor!
612
01:07:49,262 --> 01:07:52,698
Chief, look. Our monster made
a little bit of a mistake.
613
01:07:52,699 --> 01:07:54,738
You can't go around dry
cleaning little old ladies
614
01:07:54,739 --> 01:07:56,832
the public won't stand for it.
615
01:07:56,833 --> 01:07:58,995
We can kill him now with
no flack from anybody.
616
01:07:58,996 --> 01:08:01,832
Nein, nein. Bad news, Mayor,
617
01:08:01,833 --> 01:08:05,113
That old lady was hardly a
pillar of the community.
618
01:08:05,114 --> 01:08:09,331
In fact, she can a head of an
international white slavery ring.
619
01:08:09,332 --> 01:08:09,878
Shit...
620
01:08:09,879 --> 01:08:12,950
And she had a police
record a mile long.
621
01:08:12,973 --> 01:08:14,332
We've got to cover this up.
622
01:08:14,333 --> 01:08:16,581
If it ever gets out to
the press we're sunk.
623
01:08:16,582 --> 01:08:19,665
And I want you to do me a favor.
Kill that bastard for me! You got it?
624
01:08:19,666 --> 01:08:20,254
Kill him!
625
01:08:20,255 --> 01:08:22,255
Yes, mein fuhrer. Mein mayor!
626
01:08:22,333 --> 01:08:25,090
Ladies and gentlemen, may I
have your attention please.
627
01:08:25,091 --> 01:08:27,832
Mayor Peter Bellgoode
will now take questions
628
01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:30,284
from the ladies and
gentlemen of the press.
629
01:08:33,629 --> 01:08:35,167
Uh, Miss Fink.
630
01:08:35,168 --> 01:08:38,667
What your administration stance in
regards to this alleged monster?
631
01:08:38,668 --> 01:08:40,551
Is he a menace or a miracle?
632
01:08:40,552 --> 01:08:43,566
He's definitely a menace, Miss Fink.
Right now therefs a massive
633
01:08:43,567 --> 01:08:48,054
search underway to find
the thing and destroy it.
634
01:08:48,833 --> 01:08:50,332
Yes, Mr. Leonard?
635
01:08:50,333 --> 01:08:52,332
Instead of trying to kill
him, shouldn't we be trying
636
01:08:52,333 --> 01:08:55,185
to capture him, bring
him in, study him?
637
01:08:55,186 --> 01:09:00,292
It is not a human being.
It is an it. You kill an it.
638
01:09:00,293 --> 01:09:01,472
Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor.
639
01:09:01,473 --> 01:09:02,487
Yes, Mr. Williams?
640
01:09:02,488 --> 01:09:06,082
The victim killed in the dry
cleaners, Mrs, ah, Haskel.
641
01:09:06,083 --> 01:09:07,831
What's her background?
What do we know about her?
642
01:09:07,832 --> 01:09:11,832
Mrs. Haskel was a member of our
community for over 30 years.
643
01:09:11,833 --> 01:09:15,832
Also a member of the PTA.
She had two fine sons.
644
01:09:15,833 --> 01:09:17,956
Everyone that know her, loved her.
645
01:09:17,957 --> 01:09:20,654
Question! Question!
Are you certain, Mr. Mayor,
646
01:09:20,655 --> 01:09:22,472
that the chief Himmel and
the police department
647
01:09:22,473 --> 01:09:24,451
can handle the situation
in Tromaville?
648
01:09:24,452 --> 01:09:28,238
I have the utmost regard for
the chief, and his department.
649
01:09:28,239 --> 01:09:30,253
As I've said, he's
conducting a massive search
650
01:09:30,254 --> 01:09:32,066
for the monster right now.
651
01:09:32,067 --> 01:09:35,832
I want this thing found and
I want this thing killed!
652
01:09:35,833 --> 01:09:38,832
The mayor has notified the
governor and he's prepared
653
01:09:38,833 --> 01:09:41,332
to give us all the
assistance we need.
654
01:09:41,333 --> 01:09:43,332
Should we break out
the heavy weapons?
655
01:09:43,333 --> 01:09:44,332
Come on, boys.
656
01:09:44,333 --> 01:09:46,832
I'd be dead right now if
it wasn't for the monster!
657
01:09:46,833 --> 01:09:50,332
Don't you think you're
being a bit hasty?
658
01:09:50,333 --> 01:09:54,332
Clancy, you will do as you're
told or you'll find yourself
659
01:09:54,333 --> 01:09:57,355
walking a beat in the city dump!
660
01:09:57,356 --> 01:10:02,652
Now I want this thing shot and
I want you to shoot to kill!
661
01:10:02,653 --> 01:10:06,339
That monster saved my life.
He's done a lot of good for this town.
662
01:10:06,340 --> 01:10:08,722
Why are they going to kill him?
663
01:10:08,723 --> 01:10:11,238
We should speak out! Do something!
664
01:10:11,239 --> 01:10:13,527
Roy, why don't you do
something! Speak out!
665
01:10:13,528 --> 01:10:15,715
You want me to speak up?
If I speak up,
666
01:10:15,716 --> 01:10:18,832
I lose my business license.
If I lose my business license,
667
01:10:18,833 --> 01:10:21,332
I'm dead. Do you
want another shake?
668
01:10:21,333 --> 01:10:24,527
No! I want them not
to kill the monster.
669
01:10:24,528 --> 01:10:26,332
I want us to do something!
670
01:10:26,333 --> 01:10:28,832
Listen, Johnny, you're just a kid.
671
01:10:28,833 --> 01:10:31,832
People can't go around doing
things just because they're right.
672
01:10:31,833 --> 01:10:33,832
We have to leave these
decisions up to the mayor
673
01:10:33,833 --> 01:10:35,832
- and the police chief.
- That's right.
674
01:10:35,833 --> 01:10:37,832
But why would the mayor
want to destroy something
675
01:10:37,833 --> 01:10:41,333
that does more good than
the entire police force?
676
01:10:42,333 --> 01:10:43,832
No offense.
677
01:10:43,833 --> 01:10:46,832
I know how you feel, Johnny,
he saved my life too.
678
01:10:46,833 --> 01:10:50,832
But us, little guys, are just not
qualified to make these decisions.
679
01:10:50,833 --> 01:10:53,332
That's why he's the mayor.
680
01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:55,833
Right?
681
01:10:58,333 --> 01:11:01,859
We're gonna find that bastard, now.
Come on. Come on, girl!
682
01:11:01,860 --> 01:11:02,963
Heel. Come on.
683
01:11:02,964 --> 01:11:06,094
My first day on the force
and I'm chasing monsters!
684
01:11:11,333 --> 01:11:13,392
The dogs got a scent!
685
01:11:18,083 --> 01:11:20,832
I'm missing the ball
game for this bullshit!
686
01:11:20,833 --> 01:11:22,332
We ain't going to find
no monster out here,
687
01:11:22,333 --> 01:11:25,832
all we're going to find is a bunch of
mosquitoes biting my fuckin' asshole!
688
01:11:25,833 --> 01:11:28,097
Shut your fuckin' mouth!
689
01:11:28,098 --> 01:11:29,901
Hold on a second,
I think I see something.
690
01:11:29,902 --> 01:11:31,039
You don't see nothing but a couple
691
01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:33,832
of campers humping each other.
Come on, let's go home!
692
01:11:33,833 --> 01:11:35,832
Holy shit! It's the monster!
693
01:11:35,833 --> 01:11:36,832
Oh, sure!
694
01:11:36,833 --> 01:11:38,831
And he's got a bimbo with him!
695
01:11:38,832 --> 01:11:40,332
Oh, he's got your Mama with him!
696
01:11:40,333 --> 01:11:42,854
And she's wearing a bikini! Wow!
697
01:11:42,855 --> 01:11:44,832
Wait, let me see!
698
01:11:44,833 --> 01:11:48,266
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
699
01:11:49,833 --> 01:11:53,070
Come on, let's go tell the chief!
I'm going to get me a medal for this!
700
01:11:53,071 --> 01:11:55,236
Mayor! Mayor! Mayor!
701
01:11:55,653 --> 01:11:58,832
The monster has been sighted
in a field near Miller farm.
702
01:11:58,833 --> 01:11:59,832
That's wonderful!
703
01:11:59,833 --> 01:12:02,832
I'll have the National Guard
meet us out there in full force.
704
01:12:02,833 --> 01:12:03,713
You leave now!
705
01:12:03,714 --> 01:12:05,099
Ja!
706
01:12:05,333 --> 01:12:08,793
Hello, Mr. Governor,
how are you, sir?
707
01:12:08,794 --> 01:12:11,332
Fine, just fine.
708
01:12:11,333 --> 01:12:15,293
Governor, I need your help, sir.
709
01:12:15,294 --> 01:12:18,293
It's about this monster that's
been terrorizing my town.
710
01:12:18,294 --> 01:12:22,359
The local authorities can no
longer handle the situation.
711
01:12:23,231 --> 01:12:25,266
That's why I need your help.
712
01:12:25,627 --> 01:12:27,832
The National Guard?
713
01:12:27,833 --> 01:12:31,133
I was hoping you'd say
that, so we can kill it.
714
01:12:33,441 --> 01:12:38,793
Capture it? Well, I was
thinking the very same thing.
715
01:12:38,794 --> 01:12:43,762
Yes, capture would be fine.
Uh-huh. Well, thank you, Governor.
716
01:12:43,763 --> 01:12:47,263
Talk to you soon. Goodbye, sir.
717
01:12:50,161 --> 01:12:52,657
Capture, my ass!
718
01:13:07,597 --> 01:13:10,292
I don't like the way
this is going sargent.
719
01:13:10,293 --> 01:13:11,832
I know.
720
01:13:11,833 --> 01:13:14,672
The little people think he's
done a lot for this town.
721
01:13:19,606 --> 01:13:24,033
Oh, my God! They're calling
in the National Guard!
722
01:13:24,034 --> 01:13:26,332
Oh, look at all those men!
723
01:13:26,333 --> 01:13:27,832
Oh, I hope they don't
hurt the monster.
724
01:13:27,833 --> 01:13:30,800
Monster, they aught to give
him a medal, not kill him.
725
01:13:34,833 --> 01:13:39,233
They're going to nuke him!
They're going to nuke the monster!
726
01:13:45,333 --> 01:13:48,363
- They found the monster!
- He's at the Miller Farm!
727
01:13:48,364 --> 01:13:49,667
They're going to kill him!
728
01:13:49,668 --> 01:13:53,140
Holy cow! We can't let him die!
729
01:13:54,129 --> 01:13:56,629
Let's go!
730
01:14:42,214 --> 01:14:43,714
Out of the way!
731
01:14:43,761 --> 01:14:44,830
Stand aside.
732
01:14:44,831 --> 01:14:47,807
Tent's in the clearing, Mayor.
My troops have it surrounded.
733
01:14:47,808 --> 01:14:49,375
We think he's still asleep.
734
01:14:49,376 --> 01:14:52,393
Fine, we'll move in
and wipe him out.
735
01:14:52,394 --> 01:14:55,415
You can't do that, Mayor.
I've rechecked with headquarters
736
01:14:55,416 --> 01:14:57,588
They want us to take him
alive, not kill him.
737
01:14:57,589 --> 01:14:59,603
Your in charge, Pete.
Come on, give the orders!
738
01:14:59,604 --> 01:15:03,337
Mr. mayor, please, please,
think of what you are doing!
739
01:15:03,385 --> 01:15:05,697
There's an innocent
girl in there with him!
740
01:15:06,440 --> 01:15:08,400
Just one life for the whole town!
741
01:15:08,401 --> 01:15:10,297
But, Mr Mayor, you
don't understand!
742
01:15:10,298 --> 01:15:12,407
He saved my life!
He doesn't deserve to die!
743
01:15:12,408 --> 01:15:13,252
Shut up!
744
01:15:13,253 --> 01:15:16,361
Now you don't understand the seriousness
of this situation here, boy!
745
01:15:16,362 --> 01:15:20,799
How dare you discuss my son's
life or death like this.
746
01:15:20,800 --> 01:15:23,830
I'm Melvin's mother.
He's a good boy.
747
01:15:23,831 --> 01:15:26,179
He's never hurt anybody!
748
01:15:27,776 --> 01:15:33,086
Silence! Silence!
The orders have been given!
749
01:15:33,143 --> 01:15:36,971
It is our destiny to
follow the orders!
750
01:15:46,143 --> 01:15:50,111
You in the tent, come
out with your hands up!
751
01:15:50,112 --> 01:15:51,972
You are surrounded!
752
01:15:55,651 --> 01:15:57,873
The minute he comes out, kill him.
753
01:15:59,698 --> 01:16:01,229
- I'm coming with you.
- No, you're not.
754
01:16:01,230 --> 01:16:02,498
You've got to stay here.
755
01:16:02,499 --> 01:16:07,080
No, I can't let you do it! He's a hero.
I can't let you do it! I can't let you do it!
756
01:16:07,081 --> 01:16:09,604
Don't shoot him! Don't shoot!
757
01:16:09,605 --> 01:16:12,878
If you want to shoot my son,
you'll have to shoot me first!
758
01:16:20,539 --> 01:16:23,461
Okay, lads. Get these
kids out of there!
759
01:16:24,831 --> 01:16:26,853
It's okay, Mom. Kids.
760
01:16:26,854 --> 01:16:27,915
Shoot it!
761
01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:29,900
Run! Run!
762
01:16:29,901 --> 01:16:30,932
Fire!
763
01:16:30,933 --> 01:16:33,393
No, I won't do it.
764
01:16:33,394 --> 01:16:35,539
These kids are right.
765
01:16:40,510 --> 01:16:42,064
Captain, have your men fire!
766
01:16:42,065 --> 01:16:43,627
No, I can't.
767
01:16:43,628 --> 01:16:45,628
Shoot them! You shoot!
768
01:16:51,597 --> 01:16:52,424
Fire!
769
01:16:52,425 --> 01:16:53,478
Melvin!
770
01:16:53,479 --> 01:16:55,250
Alright, I'll do it myself!
771
01:16:55,251 --> 01:16:56,817
No!
772
01:16:56,956 --> 01:16:59,935
You touch me again
and I'll kill you!
773
01:17:18,065 --> 01:17:20,009
Get away from me!
774
01:17:21,238 --> 01:17:23,064
Get away from me!
775
01:17:24,253 --> 01:17:27,439
No! Ah, get away from me!
776
01:17:27,440 --> 01:17:29,939
Leave me alone!
Look, I'll make you a deal!
777
01:17:29,940 --> 01:17:32,157
I'll give you 10%, anything,
just leave alone!
778
01:17:32,924 --> 01:17:35,462
Don't hurt me!
I'm too young to die!
779
01:17:35,463 --> 01:17:36,978
Please don't hurt me!
780
01:17:36,979 --> 01:17:40,413
Please!
781
01:17:40,995 --> 01:17:44,334
You fat slob, let's see
if you have any guts!
782
01:17:59,815 --> 01:18:04,821
Officer O'Clancy, take
care of this toxic waste.
783
01:18:07,839 --> 01:18:09,432
Melvin!
784
01:18:09,433 --> 01:18:10,540
Sarah!
785
01:18:10,541 --> 01:18:11,556
Melvin!
786
01:18:11,557 --> 01:18:12,674
Sara!
787
01:18:12,675 --> 01:18:14,431
Melvin! Ah!
788
01:18:14,432 --> 01:18:15,595
Sarah!
789
01:18:15,596 --> 01:18:16,955
Melvin!
790
01:18:16,956 --> 01:18:18,332
Sarah!
791
01:18:18,333 --> 01:18:19,953
Melvin?
792
01:18:20,059 --> 01:18:21,395
Sarah!
793
01:18:44,331 --> 01:18:48,337
So, Melvin, the monster hero, rid
Tromaville of all of it's evils,
794
01:18:48,338 --> 01:18:52,406
so the good citizens could live
their lives in peace and happiness.
795
01:18:53,128 --> 01:18:56,344
And the next time you're in
danger or in need to help,
796
01:18:56,345 --> 01:19:00,726
look to the horizon and
maybe, just maybe...
797
01:19:01,542 --> 01:19:04,625
The Toxic Avenger will be there.
798
01:19:07,041 --> 01:19:08,932
Captioned by Korimokosan
56621
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