All language subtitles for Mrs.Worthingtons.Party.2007.WEBRip.x264-XviD.AC3-XVID-English

End of the line, Father.

That one's yours, I think.

Sorry.

That's fine.

Here you go, Father.

Oh, this mi... ah, mi...?

Can't believe it.

Merry Christmas.

Father Joyce?

It's about time,
don't you think?

Good grief, who are you?

You're not Father Joyce.
Where's Simeon? I want Simeon!

So do a number of people.
You'll have to get in line.

Wait! I haven't confessed
to anything yet.

♫ Oh I say child, child, child ♫

♫ Let them know

♫ That the wicked

♫ The map do go

♫ Oh, child, child

Your Grace.

Father Simeon Joyce.
Have any of you seen him?

Have you tried the Olde Inn?

I've just arrived.
How would I find it?

In grave disrepair, I'm afraid.

That's...
how would I get there?

♫ Let them know

♫ That the wicked

Excuse me. I'm looking
for Father Simeon Joyce.

- I see. Ah.
- I was told that he might be here.

- Do you know if he is here?
- I do, yes.

- And then is he?
- He is, yes.

Be not drunk with wine,
for that would be dissipation.

All right, here's where
I get the dissipation, sir.

Or be filled with the spirit.

Or in our case,
strictly distilled spirits.

Amen, brothers?

Amen.

My God, Jonathan Keene.
I haven't seen you in years.

Lads, I want you to meet a
friend of mine from seminary.

He's... wait.

Were you classic Catholic
henchman maneuver.

Shouldn't you greet
me with a kiss?

Take it easy, Simeon.
I'll get us another bottle.

- Dermott?
- No, not for him you won't.

Why don't you let him
decide for himself, pal?

Simeon.

Simeon?

I guess he decided.

Excuse me, is there a
taxi service in town?

There is, but.

Kip Livery at your
service, Father.

- You're not drivin', Philem.
- I damn well will.

Come on, Finn,
we'll take Simeon home.

Thank you, mister ah...

Thomas Shepley. My brother Finn.
And don't mention it.

Simeon's driven me home before
when I was so high I was flyin'.

- Who's buyin'?
- I don't know.

No one, Simeon.
We're goin' home.

Ladies. Gentlemen.

I'll expect to see you
all at mass tomorrow.

Yes, Father.

Sit down, Phelim.

Yes, Mr. Harrod.

First time in the cape, Father?

It is, yes.

Stayin' long?

No.

Church business, eh?

Something like that, yes.

Simeon in trouble?

Do you mind?
This is a church matter.

Oh, a church matter.

Do you hear that, Finn?
Just like the Catholics.

I take it you're not
Catholic, Mr. Shepley.

We're Protestants.
The only ones in the area.

Persecuted, aren't we, Finn?

- Persecuted.
- Persecuted?

Who do you think gets the call
when you've got tree problems?

Ah, someone other than you.

Tree Kings, every time.

Even though we're
the superior company.

I see.
And these Three Kings...

- Tree Kings.
- Sorry, Tree Kings, are Catholic?

- They're pagans.
- Pagans.

- But not Catholics?
- Not at all.

Then how is this
a religious problem?

Well, what would you call it?

I don't know. I'm adopted.

- I'm askin' him.
- Oh.

There's the church.

There's the steeple.

Well, open the door.

Where's all the people?

You haven't changed a bit.

You still look like a kid.

You don't.

Are you here to shut us down?

We'll talk about
it in the morning. Go to sleep.

You're here to shut us down.

Listen, I'm here to
determine if this parish

can be made financially viable.

If it can't, and frankly
I don't see how it can,

then, then I would be
here to shut you down.

- Without a fair chance?
- A fair chance?

How long have you
been here, Simeon?

Five, six years?

- Try 12.
- No.

What was the size of this
parish when you arrived?

It was big.

A 150.

- What's it at now?
- On a good day?

On any day.

Maybe 20.

Twenty. You figure
that one out.

Oh, no, wait.

John, wait, wait.

This church is about
to turn a corner.

These people just need a chance.

They need, they...

Excuse me.

Look at yourself, Simeon.
Go to bed.

It's Christmas.
I was celebrating.

You can't shut a church down at Christmas.
It's flat out un-Christian.

- Go to bed. - I can't go to bed.
I have to work on my sermon.

Listen, John, promise
me you won't do anything drastic

till you give me
one more fair chance.

For old time's sake, okay?

John?

Mass has ended.

Let us go in peace
to love and serve the Lord.

Just before you go,

you all know our
friend Ari Viloso.

He's not doing well and
I thought we might try

and sing his favorite Christmas
song since he can't be here today.

So it's the one he taught me,

the one I've been trying
to teach you, okay?

So we'll all try together.

Dona Nobis, you remember.

Here we go.

One, two, three.

No, sorry.

Completely out of tune there.

We'll try it again, okay?

You know what? We'll try it
again some other time.

Right now I want you
to meet a friend of mine.

An old friend from seminary.

He's come all the way
from New York City.

Father Jonathan Keene.

Let's make him
feel welcome, okay?

- Father Jonathan Keene.
Come on, he's a bit shy.

Come on up, John.

Peace be with you.

And with your spirit.

Um, I hadn't planned on
saying anything this morning.

Uh... You can count on seeing me
around the next few days,

as Father Joyce and I evaluate
some key operational issues.

Make some difficult decisions,

regarding the future
of this parish.

Decisions that I hope turn out
to be in your best interest.

That's all.
Thank you.

That's it?

For now, yes.

These are the people
you're doing it to.

Folks, Father Keene is very
powerful as priests go.

He's a representative
of the archdiocese.

Sort of their hit man.
That's fair, wouldn't you say?

He shuts down churches that aren't
considered financially viable,

churches that are
considered dead.

And guess what?
We've made his hit list.

Just a minute.
I never specified...

I was going to show
you that we're not dead.

I was gonna start by setting up our
annual life-size nativity scene,

but it would take a lot of work.

Figurines all still
need repainting.

I'd need volunteers.
The stable is a wreck.

Town's already set
theirs up anyway

and it always looks
better than ours.

I was gonna show you.

But maybe he's right.
Maybe we are dead.

I mean, listen.

Look around.

Glass, marble.

A stone mother, her cold child.

Dead man on a cross.

We're nothing but a mausoleum.

I mean, do any of us even
know what we're doing here?

And I thought a life-size
crèche could fix all that.

You win.

- You've beaten me. They're all yours.
- Hold it.

Regardless of whether this parish is
closed or not, I'm not the interim priest.

I don't think you have a choice.

Good luck.

Father Joyce, I have
not yet reached a decision

regarding the future
of this parish.

Father Joyce! Simeon!

Perhaps you have a point.

Perhaps this crèche could
as you say fix all that.

But I think you need more than
life-size figurines, don't you?

I mean, I think you need...

You.

And you and you.

All of you.

Think about it.

A real Mary, a real Joseph.

Real wise men, real shepherds.

Outside, Christmas Eve.

They'd be the talk
of the community.

People who haven't been to church
in years might just come back.

Who knows, after the holidays
this place could be full again.

Alive.

Profitable, productive rather.

But you don't have
much time, do you?

So let me suggest you hold
auditions here tomorrow night.

Don't you think?

Excellent.

You asked for a chance.
There it is.

- Think so?
- Exciting, yes.

They're pretty excited. I don't
think I've ever seen them like that.

I have to admit something to you, John.
I didn't expect this of you.

It's gonna be great.

Well, we'll see.

Hey, what are these?

Hospital bills.

Receipts, actually.

Right, but they're
all paid in cash.

And they're all
to one Mr. Viloso.

You've submitted no copies
of these. Who is he?

He's an elderly missionary.

- A priest?
- Lay, actually.

I was gonna send them in, but I
wanted to send them all together.

Who authorized these?

- Um.
- Kinert?

No, not Kinert.

Oh, don't tell me, Secary?

That's it, that's who it was.

- That's what I thought.
- Why is that?

Well, because I just
made that name up.

So does this guy even exist

or are these a cover
for something else?

A young woman perhaps?

Knock it off. Of course he exists.
Do you wanna meet him?

I'm gonna have to now, aren't I?

Well, that's fine
with me, come on.

No, it doesn't have
to be right this second.

Bring your coat because
my heater doesn't work.

Unbelievable.

Eleanor Worthington wants us to
change the date of the crèche.

She has a party
every Christmas Eve.

You don't change something
like this for a little party.

It's not little. The whole community comes.
It's a tradition.

It's big.

Bigger than the church?

Church.

Where are they gonna go, John?

Let them have their
party another night.

Not the party,
if you shut us down.

Oh, come on.
Nothing's been determined yet.

And if it is, they'll do
what everyone else is doing.

They'll go to the
next closest parish.

Do you enjoy doing this?

I mean, you could've had
a job in the regular world

and you would've saved yourself
a great deal of abstinence

if you guys are still
into that sort of thing.

You guys obviously aren't.

What is wrong with your seat?

The car was
donated by a big guy.

I don't know why you bother. The
whole thing's falling apart anyway.

The church, John.

It's all unraveling.

The curtain's been torn back

and we've all been exposed
as liars, cowards...

Let's not forget drunkards.

Well, I'm not gonna leave them.

I'm their shepherd,

and the good shepherd lays
down his life for his sheep.

He protects them from wolves.

That's my job.

- Do you hear me?
- Hey, stop the car.

Stop the car.

Excuse me, miss. I believe this
is yours from the bus stop.

Oh, thanks.

I think you have mine.

I do.
Not with me though, sorry.

Fine. Perhaps I could get
it back at some point.

Of course.

Thank you.

What was that all about?

Nothing.

Okay, let's go.

That was nice of you.

No, it wasn't.
She's got my other glove.

Who's that guy with her, anyway?

- My patron saint.
- And who's that, Bacchus?

Seth Harrod, Jr.

Hold it.
Harrod of the Harrods?

Mmm-hmm. His family's had a summer
home here for over a hundred years.

I haven't heard this
from Marjorie herself,

but um, the word is that
they're secretly engaged.

She's engaged to a Harrod?

That doesn't,
that doesn't bother you?

Why, should it?

Well, for starters the
Harrods aren't Catholic.

I'll be you financial
boys wish they were.

We wish for them the same
I'm sure you do.

That they find their way
to the one true church.

Do you practice lines like that
in front of a mirror?

Mary can't marry Harrod.
That's not how it goes.

Mary?

Simeon, that woman is your first
and only obvious casting choice

for the part of Mary
in the pageant.

A lot of the ladies
were looking forward

to auditioning for that part.

Yeah, I'm sure they were,

but she's the only one
you've got under 60.

Can't have an old Mary.

Ari.

Father Jonathan Keene.
Ari Voloso.

Hello, Father.

This is my wife Lydie.

Mr. Viloso,
I'm actually here to ask you...

I'm sorry, Father.
What were you saying?

Um.

I'm actually here to find out...

how you've been feeling.

I cannot complain,
thanks to Simeon.

Ari wants to come
to Christmas mass.

I told him it's impossible.

It's not impossible.
Nothing's impossible.

Remember that,
not even Christmas mass.

Your friend is a crack,
you're a minister.

I'm sure he is, but I hear you
had quite a ministry yourself.

- He love to sing.
- Really?

So is that where you found
your greatest success?

Great success.

Oh, I suppose Georges
Bank was the best.

But swordfish, no.

Georges Bank?

Yes.
Cod mostly.

Cod, as in fish?

Cod.

Cod.

Cod.

- You're gonna report this, aren't you?
- I don't know.

I mean, you've only
been using money

from the collections to pay an
old fisherman's medical bills.

What are you?
Of course I'll report you.

Hang on, listen. I had a dream right
after Ari got sick. A vision, I think.

- Mmm-hmm.
- And in it I saw him get better.

I saw him walk back
into the church.

Let me ask you,
How much dealing does it take

to make this vision
of yours a reality?

It's not stealing.
It's their money.

And besides,
it doesn't matter how much

because they'll have
spent it on a miracle.

It'll be like betting
on a long shot.

The whole church will see it.

They'll see God work
the miracle for us

and it'll be his stamp of
approval on this parish and on me.

You should've
been a charismatic.

No, things like this
have happened to me before.

I've seen people
healed, you know?

You ever see them
get young again?

- You should've been a cop.
- Keep your eyes on the road.

Fear not!

Quite God, so excuse me.

But behold, I bring you
good tidings of great joy.

What shall be to all the people.

For unto you is born this day
in the city of David.

A savior who is Christ the Lord.

Mmm, I hated that one.

Can I do it again?

A savior who is Christ the Lord.

Shepherds are going next.
Then the wise men.

- We're trying out for wise men.
- Good for you.

Behold the hand
maiden of the Lord.

Behold the hand maven.

Behold! The hand
maiden of the Lord.

Behind the... Mmm.

Be it unto me.

Now, be it unto me.

Be it unto... mmm.

According to thy word.

According to thy word.

Now is it accordion
or accordion? Oh.

I guess not, that's...

I can't hear you, Jane.

Behold the hand...

No, I still can't hear you.

I'm gonna go in the back and
wanna still be able to hear you.

Oh, dear.
Behold the hand.

I didn't know you ran.

Are you guys allowed to run?

Are you gonna stay and watch?

Did you ask the Worthington
girl to play Mary?

She's the town librarian.

Not only that, she's the primary
caregiver for her grandmother.

Did you further know
that she's engaged?

Is that for sure, though? Marjorie
said nothing to me about it.

I definitively heard that
she had become betrothed.

Hold it, hold it.

You didn't even ask her?

- Well no, but... - Behind the handmaid,
she'll do unto him accordingly.

Good luck.

Did you hear that?

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

I ah, I have a problem.

I have asthma. I carry a shot
of adrenaline just in case.

Adrenaline?

It's produced naturally in
the body by strong emotion.

- Anger, fear, love.
- No, I know what it is.

I just didn't know that strong
emotions made you breathe better.

Apparently they do.

And running in the cold
helps your breathing?

No.

It makes it worse,
but I figure the more I run

the stronger
my lungs will become

and the less I'll be
affected by the asthma.

It's a theory that I apply
to many areas of my life.

Did you use that theory
when you became a priest?

What? How?
What do you mean?

No offense, but I take my
grandmother to that church

because she likes
me to go with her.

And I love her, not the church.

I'm not a big fan of you guys.

Not Simeon. I don't
consider Simeon a priest.

But I gotta say, I don't have
a lot of patience for priests.

Why not?

Come on, because.

You guys have a problem
with women.

That's ridiculous.

Except the mother of Jesus.
You like her, don't you?

- I'm...
- Why the big fascination?

Besides the whole
mother of God bit.

Besides? How do you?

The besides is it.

God had had it
with us before Mary.

He'd given up on us completely.

I think Mary single
handedly changed his mind.

- I think he fell in love with her.
- Got her pregnant?

I think, I tend to get in a
good mood when I go on a trip

and I think this one's having the
complete opposite effect on you, isn't it?

- So I'm gonna say goodnight...
- Hey, I'm sorry.

You're right.

This trip is putting
me in a bad mood.

But I like your
Mary theory, though.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You know, we were, ah,

Father Joyce,
actually, was wondering

if you'd consider playing her.

Mary, I mean.

- For us in the crèche.
- Good one.

No, we're serious.

Maybe next Christmas.

Well, now that's a problem because
unless things change for him very soon,

the whole parish really,

neither one's gonna
be around next Christmas.

Gettin' on, buddy?

I'm not, no.

The young lady is.

You're the only one here, bub.

I'm not going anywhere.

You gettin' on or what?

I'm not goin' anywhere.

- John?
- What?

We only got halfway through
the auditions tonight.

Everyone was so good, I didn't
know who should play what.

Well, you're
running out of time.

I know, I was thinking could you
sit in with us tomorrow night?

I mean, it was your
idea in the first place.

Okay, fine, fine.

Thanks.

Hey.

Were you praying?

Of course I wasn't praying.
I was just thinking.

All right, Joe.
So just whenever you're ready.

Where are the angels?

They've already departed.

- Wait a minute. They said their lines?
- That's right.

You said we were supposed to
wait until they said their lines.

I did say that.

Well, I didn't hear any angels.

I didn't hear any either, Bob.

Pretend they've spoken.

Well, why didn't you tell
us that in the first place?

Need to let us lowly shepherds
in on these things, Father.

All right, fellas.
Now let's go.

There are the angels.

They do their thing
and they're gone.

Let us now go even
unto Bethlehem.

And see this thing
which has come to pass.

That the Lord has made
known to us shepherds.

Yes. Let's.

Simeon, do we have to kneel? Because I
just had my knee replaced last summer.

Of course not.

Yeah, and Pat had his
hip done too, Father.

Isn't that right, Pat?

Yes, I did.
Thank you, Bob.

Where is he that is
born king of the Jews?

For we...

Oh, I'm sorry, Eugene. I stepped
all over your line. Sorry.

Not a problem, Rockwell.

Now you go right ahead.

For we ha...

You know, Eugene,
if I said my line again,

then you could come in,
it'll sound more natural.

Certainly, Rockwell.

Here we go.

Where is he that is
born king of the Jews!

- You, Eugene.
- For we...

For we have seen
his star in the east!

Then.

Come to censure him.

Worship him.

It's worship him.

- How do you get censure from worship?
- Ah geez, I'm sorry, Father.

That's okay, Mike.
That's fine, we'll just um...

Hold on to your undercrackers, Simeon.
We haven't finished yet.

Yay!

Ah, there.

We just contrived that
bit of business ourselves.

Thank you, all of you.

I'm very impressed.

John, anything
you'd like to add?

Yes, um.

I think so.

I think at your next rehearsal
you need to concentrate

on removing all dialogue.

- All dialogue?
- Yes.

And all movement as well. I don't
think anyone should be saying

or doing anything.

I think it would be distracting.

What would you suggest they do?

Stand.

Silently, adoringly.

Like the figurines in storage.

Yes, yes.

Exactly like that.

Bob?

What are we gonna
use for a stable?

Yeah, and what
about real livestock?

Where would we
acquire real livestock?

It'd make a bit of a mess,
though, wouldn't it?

A practical point
at this juncture, sir.

How long will we
have to stand outside

in sub-freezing conditions?

Hold it.

If you're gonna commit to this,

then you've gotta be willing to stand
out there there as long as it takes

for your community to...

The community is going to be
at the Worthington party.

- I know I am.
- Ooh, Father.

Will we be finished in time
for the Worthington party?

Who is our target
audience, anyway?

Have we addressed that issue?

Those are all good questions

that I think Father Keene
and I will need to talk about,

and we'll have answers
at the next rehearsal.

Right, Father Keene?

Right.

Right.

So um.

Go in peace.

Thanks be to God.

You are in big trouble here.

You realize that?

What are you gonna do?
Shut me down?

Oh, you're not taking this
seriously at all, are you?

I've given you a chance
to do something different,

to stand out for
once in your career.

You don't accomplish that with
old people who can't kneel.

You need youth,
you need passion...

They haven't been this passionate
about anything in years

and you want them
to just stand there.

You don't get it.

- Let me borrow your car.
- Why?

Well, you need a Mary,
don't you? Come on.

If I let you take my car, next
you'll think you can take my church.

I can take your church.

But you can't take my car.

You can take my scooter.

I don't ride scooters.

They're closed, pal.

- Sorry.
- We're closed.

I heard.

But it's just that I was outside,
I saw what was happening,

and I wonder if there's
any way I can help.

I did have four younger
sisters who had boyfriends,

one or two of whom were
occasionally mean to them,

so it's not as if I don't
understand these things.

I do.

What would you do
when they were mean?

Well, I also have two
older, bigger brothers,

so the three of us
would go to the guy,

very politely of course,
give him the option.

Either acting like a gentleman

or having the daylights
beaten out of him.

That's what we used to do.

I used to tell them
if they couldn't imagine

the guy as the father
of their kids, what's the point?

It wasn't the guy.

You had lucky sisters.

Well, thank you.

I told you we
were closed, right?

Yeah, you did, yes.

It's just that I was won,
I wasn't wondering,

Father Joyce was
wondering if you'd given

anymore thought to
playing Mary in the thing.

I'm not Mary.

Thanks. But I'm not.

I don't even believe
in the virgin birth.

Why not?

Come on.

No, I mean, seriously,

why is that any harder
to swallow than say,

well, you believe in evolution.

What does evolution have
to do with the virgin birth?

Well, I can explain
it if you'll just...

It'll just take
billions of years.

It might if you
keep interrupting me.

Now listen for a second,

and remember, we believe
all this unquestioningly.

We believe that
billions of years ago

a cosmic soup appeared
out of thin air,

only hold it, there wasn't air,

so thin nothingness, right?

And then billions of years later

a perfect living cell is formed,

and then this cell
starts magically turning

into fish and lizards and birds and
dinosaurs, all accidentally we're told,

and then millions of years later,
you've always gotta have those,

apes come along.

And here's the good part.
Some of the apes turn into us.

So honestly,
which is harder to believe in?

That?

Or a teenage girl gives
birth to the son of God?

- Are you angry?
- No, absolutely not.

Well, you're breathing very
well, so either you're angry

and all that adrenaline's helping you out
or all that running's starting to pay off.

Well, I didn't
go running tonight.

I spent the evening watching a depressing
rehearsal of a Christmas pageant

that could possibly
be pretty good

if a certain young
woman didn't insist

on being a method actress.

- Method?
- Method.

Meaning I don't think
Father Joyce would object

too strongly at this
point to any woman

under 60 acting
the part of Mary,

even if she doesn't embrace
every aspect of the virgin birth.

That's why it's called acting.

Now you're angry.

No, I'm, mmm.

All I'm, all Father
Joyce is asking

is that you would
think about it.

Okay, I'll think about it.

You will?

I said I would.

Well, all right.

Thank you, goodnight.

You and Simeon must've
been awfully good friends.

- Why do you say that?
- You're going to a lot of trouble for him.

It's nice.

Well, thank you.

- Oh, hey, I forgot your glove.
- Thanks.

I've already lost most
of the feeling in this hand,

but thanks just the same.

Goodnight, Miss Worthington.

Hello, Father Keene.
- Hello.

I pick Marjorie up after work.

That must be nice for you.

Will we see you at the party?

Uh, we're having a living
nativity Christmas Eve.

But I thought I told
Simeon to change that.

You did.

We didn't.

Goodnight.

Unbelievable.

How'd it go with Marjorie?

Fine. She said
she'd think about it.

What are you doing in there?

Praying.
You wanna join me?

- Join you praying?
- Yes.

I don't wanna join you praying.
Praying's personal, it's private.

I think it would be nice praying
with someone else for a change.

No, it wouldn't. And why don't you
spend a little less time praying

and a little more time
cleaning this pigsty up?

Because I like praying better.

Right. But you're living
like a hog.

So what does that say
for all your praying?

Well, if I was in your shoes

and I were here
to evaluate a man

who preferred praying
to almost anything else...

Next to a stiff drink.

I'd say that man had
his priorities straight.

Simeon...

That's why a guy like you
will never be in my shoes.

John.

Do you like being in your shoes?

What?

What is it?

It's our stable.

- If you want to provide a stable,
you're welcome to. - Oh, really?

I wonder what kind of indulgences you boys
are havin' at for second-hand stables now.

I don't know, I'm adopted.

Gram's come to confess, Simeon.

I hope I'm not too late.

I like your stable.

This pageant
that you're putting on,

I'm afraid that it will coincide
with my Christmas party.

I wouldn't worry too much.

The body of Christ.

Amen.

The body of Christ.

- The body of Christ.
- Amen.

Come on in.

"The clerk put on
his white comforter

and tried to warm
himself at the candle,

in which effort being a man
of not strong imagination,

he failed."

Hang on just a second.
I'll be right back.

- Thanks for comin'.
- Of course, what's up?

- Gram's mad.
- Mad?

It's about the party.

I'll wait in the car.

Actually, could you
pick up where I left off?

Right there.

What did she say?

She's havin' a fit, I tell ya.

"A Merry Christmas, Uncle.

'God save you, ' cried
a cheerful voice."

It was the voice of Scrooge's
nephew who came upon him so quickly

that this was the first
intimation he had of his approach.

'Bah, ' said Scrooge.

'Humbug.'"

- Wait.
- What?

Is there a picture on that page?

- There is, yeah.
- You didn't show it to us.

- Miss Worthington always shows us
the pictures. - You're doing it wrong.

I'm not doin' it wrong.
You're doin' it wrong.

How could we be doing it wrong?

Well, you're the ones on
the wrong side of the book.

Here we go, look at that guy.

"'Because, said Scrooge,
'a little thing affects them.

'A slight disorder of the
stomach makes them cheats.

"You may be an
undigested bit of beef,

a blot of mustard,
a crumb of cheese,

a fragment of
an underdone potato.

There's more of gravy than a
grave about you wherever you are.'

Scrooge now was not much in
the habit of cracking jokes.

Nor did...

- What's going on here?
- John, we're just gettin' warmed up.

Jonathan Keene, this
is Seth Harrod, Jr.

How you doin'?
I like your set out there, man.

This isn't my, this is Father
Joyce's project actually.

- Well, when is this being put on?
- Christmas Eve.

That's the night of
the Worthington party.

- You realize that?
- We do, yeah.

You have actors for the
wise men and shepherds?

Well, who's gonna play Mary?

Ah, at this time
it's Jane Babanaugh.

Yeah?

She pretty?

Young?

Not young per say, no.

She's youngish.
She's not 60 yet.

60?

She's Mary?
Simeon, you're in trouble.

I tried to tell him that.

We did ask your Marjorie here,

but she turned us down.

You did?

He did?

I said I'd think about it.

Mary, huh.

And you think she'd
be right for it?

- Well, that's what we thought, didn't we?
- Absolutely.

- She's not too old?
- Not at all.

Well, I mean,
I never pictured Mary

as a librarian-type, is all.

What is that supposed to mean?

Yes, Seth, what does
a librarian look like?

- I'm getting myself into trouble here,
aren't I? - Marjorie would be perfect.

Look, Mary was supposed
to be beautiful, right?

- Marjorie's beautiful.
- Thank you, Simeon.

Seth, I'm tired.
I want to go home.

Okay, but not
like Mary beautiful.

Hey.

What?

- Take it easy.
- What do you mean?

All I'm saying Mary
was supposed to be

this perfectly chaste
creature, right?

Seth, knock it off.

While Marjorie Worthington,
on the other hand...

Hey, John!

No, no, no.
It's okay.

- He's drunk.
- It's okay.

Let me get this straight.

I'm about to be slugged by,
what did you say he was?

- A cure-eth?
- I never said that.

Well, whatever he is,
he wants to slug me.

- John.
- Don't you?

- John, John.
- Father Keene.

Wound a little
tight, aren't you?

Everybody knows she's not the Mary type.
That's all I was saying.

Okay, she's not the type.

When's the next rehearsal?

It's tomorrow night.

Oh, come on. You don't
have to prove a point here.

Fine, I'll do it.

What are you doing?

I mean, if you still want me.

- I do.
- We do.

Uh, okay.

I had nothing to do with this.
You remember that, Simeon.

- Thank you, Miss Worthington.
- I need a drink.

Some patron saint
you've got there.

I know. People can be idiots
when they drink.

Have one?

What I don't get
is why a sharp-witted,

attractive, intelligent woman

would put up with that,
with him.

He's squashing her.
They have nothing in common.

Can I have another one?
Just a little one?

Sure.

My theory is
she's either very bored,

which is very possible
in a place like this.

I mean, he's rich, she's...

ah, she doesn't strike
me as that type, though.

It's either that

or she's wracked
by some sort of guilt

and views him
as her just punishment.

You do a lot of counseling?

No.

None.

Never.

I avoid the whole people
side of things entirely.

- The people side?
- Yeah.

Their lives, their problems.

On and on.

Simeon, I've reached a point where I
can shut a parish down in my sleep,

pull a priest and replace him
before anybody knows what's hit him,

but just between you and me I've
always hated the people side.

Hello?

Hello.

Shh shh. No, no.

Hey, Lydie.

I'm not gonna be at your
rehearsal tomorrow night.

So if you want to be
different and stand out

or any of that junk,
you can run it yourself.

It was your idea to begin with.

Why aren't you gonna be there?

Because unlike you,
I don't hate the people side.

That's why I became a priest.

And that was Lydie.
Ari's much worse.

Wait, hold it.
I thought he gets better.

What about God's stamp
of approval on you

and this parish?

Don't you ever talk
about my friend again.

Okay, folks, we're gonna
run this through for real

when Marjorie
Worthington gets here.

Until she does, Jane, is it?

Can you stand in for her?

- Let's just all pretend that we're
outside. - And it's not raining.

I heard it's going to make a
diversification to snow later.

Right, so did I. Bill, why
don't you go on up the ladder?

You want Gabriel
to climb on a ladder?

I hear we're gettin' a blizzard.

- This is just for rehearsal, Bill.
- Good gods.

No angel, least of all Gabriel,
would stand atop a ladder.

Why, it completely obliterates any
illusion of celestial splendor.

Say, would we still have
a crèche in a blizzard?

We'd just have
to play that by ear. Bill.

On Christmas Eve, you're
not gonna be on a ladder.

You're gonna be on scaffolding.

Scaffolding?

My God, sir.

The Worthington party
starts at 7:30 Christmas Eve.

Will we be finished by then?

I have no idea.

Gabriel, the messenger
angel on scaffolding.

Why, the whole
supernatural power ride

will be completely
off the schedule.

Put him in one
of those flying harnesses

and drop him down out of a tree.

I'll not get into any harnesses.

People, people, people. Could we
please be quiet just for a minute?

Father Keene.

Just a minute.

Bill.

If you've got a better
idea, I'd like to hear it.

But until you do, get up the
ladder and start rejoicing.

People, look, I'm sorry.

We're just gonna have to
deal with the unknown here.

I realize this is
a work in progress.

I realize that.

But can we try,
just for a minute,

to pretend that Christ himself
is here in a manger?

Can we try?
Bill? Ready?

Once more into the breach,
dear friends.

Hey, I did that one in college.

Quiet.
Okay, and hit your positions.

Father Keene.

- What is it?
- Where's Simeon?

He's at the Viloso's.

- Is Marjorie with you?
- She's coming.

Could you come back
here for a moment?

I'm right in the middle of this.

- It can't wait.
- All right, hang on.

Bill, hands up.

No, arms out.

Hands up.

Right, think glorious.

Glorious, Bill.

Yeah.

- And everyone else,
hello, hello?

On Christmas Eve your attention is
gonna be here on the baby, not on Bill.

- What is it?
- I need to confess.

Oh, right this second?

- It's extremely important.
- All right.

Could I have one or two of
the shepherds kneeling, please?

- Father Keene.
- Simeon said we didn't have to kneel.

- He did say that, Father.
- I'm sorry. I forgot about that.

The wise men will kneel
if you want, Father.

It's okay with you, Eugene.

Fine by me, Rockwell.

- Okay with you, Mike?
- Oh, oh yeah.

Fine by me.

Okay, here we go.

Father Keene,
are you listening to me?

- I am, yes.
- Oh, help. My knee is stuck.

- A little assistance here might...
- Father Keene,

I'll be
waiting in the confessional.

I knew kneeling
was a bad idea, Rock.

Kneeling's always a bad idea.

That's how I got my first wife.

Somebody had to.

- The shepherds are a bunch of pansies.
- Folks, please.

- Could we just...
- No need to get nasty, Rock.

I love pansies.

Well, I like them, too.

Folks, can we...

- Oh, God, sir, I've got it.
- Father Keene.

I could stand in the phone
company's cherry picker.

I adore cherries.

- Anything with pits, really.
- Shut up! Shut up!

Take a break.

Hey, we don't
even have a Joseph.

Gabriel never had to put up
with any of this crap.

- What is it?
- The confessor always speaks first.

Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.

My heart is full of anger and my heart
is full of hatred, just pure hatred.

Toward whom?

Toward a man.

A spoiled, wealthy,
worthless man

who for over a year now
has been cheating on his fiancé

with another, another woman.

Wait, he's been
cheating on Marjorie?

With Marjorie,
she's the other woman.

- He's engaged to someone else, some society tart in New York.
- -What?

Her door was ajar this evening when she
was getting dressed for this thing tonight.

I happened to look in.

I can't believe
I didn't notice sooner.

Notice what?

She's pregnant.

Father, Father,
what should I do?

Father?

Father Keene?

- Sorry I'm late.
- Is this okay?

What do you want me to do?
I've never acted before.

Could I talk to you, please?

Um.

In the back?

My mom acted in a lot
of plays before I was born.

She wasn't a regular
actress, though.

She wasn't a regular anything.

She wanted to be
a jazz singer, actually,

but when she had me
and Dad left,

Gram said she just
kind of lost it.

She's been in a hospital
since I was little

and just never could
get it together.

I'm pretty nervous.

You can't be Mary.

Why are you doing this?

Because you're pregnant.

And you're not even
engaged to him, are you?

Did you know
he's engaged to someone else?

Yes.

You did?

What were you doing with him?

I'm not with him anymore.

Why were you ever with him?

I don't know.

Why didn't you come to me?

I don't even know you.

Fine, your friend, Simeon then.

One of us could've helped you.

How could you help me?

What could you do?

Talk Seth into making
an honest woman of me?

Convince me to go ahead with it and
have a kid who will never have a father?

I never knew my dad.

I never talked to him once. He never sent me
a postcard. I'm not gonna do that to a kid.

Well, please keep in mind there are a
few options between your ideal childhood

and no childhood at all.

Like what?

Put it up for adoption?

Put it in one of your orphanages
with a bunch of nuns

who never even wanted to be
mothers in the first place?

Like what?

You're not Mary.

Don't you think I know that?

You're the one who started this
whole Mary thing in the first place.

Those times you saw me at the bus stop.
Do you know where I was going?

I was going down to the city to
get this whole thing over with.

But I'd see you and I,

I couldn't go through with it.
But you know what's weird?

If I had I could've been
your Mary, couldn't I?

Wasn't that Marjorie?

- Yes.
- I thought she was gonna be our Mary.

- Not anymore.
- Why not?

Because she's pregnant.

By your patron saint.

And by the way,
they're not engaged.

He's just been using her.

The good shepherd lays down
his life for the sheep.

You even said it
with a straight face.

All the while you've been selling
one of your sheep to the wolf.

For what?

A few drinks.

Next time hold out
for pieces of silver.

They're more traditional.

Father?

Yeah.

Oh. Um...

Jane, could you take over
the part of Mary permanently?

Please? Bill, you can sit
this one out if you want.

Thank God for that.

Can I have your
attention, please?

Not now, Simeon.

Yes, now.

I want you all to know Father
Keene will be your interim priest

until the parish is closed,

which I imagine will be
just after Christmas.

He's my successor

and your pastor,

and I trust you'll show him
the same kindness and respect

you've shown me
over all the years.

God bless you.

Bless me Father,
for I have sinned.

Bless me Father,
for I have sinned.

Bless me
Father, for I have sinned.

Bless me Father,
for I have sinned.

It's been three months
since my last confession.

It's been one month
since my last confession.

Two years, three
months and one week.

- Three weeks.
- About six months.

God, sir, it's been 14 years.

God only knows
how long it's been.

I never even told Father Joyce

how much I cared about him.

We got to
talking and we realized

we never even had him
over for dinner, not once.

I always intended to bake
him a pie, but I never did.

Guy would give you
the shirt off his back.

Sure he drinks a bit,
but good God, sir, who doesn't?

- Joyce is a good guy.
- -Never had any other one but him.

He's been pulling
all the weight himself.

- Never even offered to help him.
- -We failed him.

- We failed him.
- We failed him.

- We failed him.
- We failed him.

We failed him.

I am heartily
sorry for my sins, Father.

I am heartily sorry
for all my sins, Father.

- I'm heartily sorry for my sins, Father.
- -I am heartily sorry.

- I'm heartily sorry for my sins.
- -Heartily sorry.

Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.

You can all go home, you know.

You've been absolved.

We've been talking about
things out here, Father.

And uh... we took a vote.

And everyone decided that...

Not everyone, Thespian.

Almost everyone.

We decided that we just
don't have the heart

to continue with
this thing anymore, Father.

With Simeon leaving and all.

We thought he'd be proud seeing all of
us out there, only he won't see us now.

Like putting on a play for your
parents when you were a kid.

Only they don't show up.

So why do the play? Right?

You understand,
don't you, Father?

Of course.

They all thought you'd get mad.

Mad?

No, I'm not mad.

This, this was all
for you, not me.

So, um... go in peace.

Go on.

- We didn't vote with the rest of them.
- That's right, Father.

The wise men will show up
if that's what you want.

Two wise men kneeling
before an empty stable

doesn't make 'em too
wise, does it, Rock?

Am I too late for dinner?

Um, I don't have
a cook at the moment.

- I was just on my way out.
- Sorry.

No, no I can get you
a pint if you like.

Sometimes it'll do
in the place of dinner.

Okay.

Thank you.

I heard you weren't
having the pageant then.

Well, maybe you can do
something for next Easter.

Eh, I don't think so. No.

Dermott, may I ask you
a personal question?

You may, though if it's
religious in nature,

I may not give you
an entirely honest answer.

No, it's nothing like that.

Do you enjoy this?
Running a pub?

Very much.

How did you know this is what
you were supposed to do?

How do you mean, supposed?

I don't know.

I've always believed we start
out with certain inclinations

that ideally, of course,

we pursue, make careers out of,

find fulfillment in.

Those were the things
we were supposed or meant to do.

So what was it that made you
know you wanted to run a pub?

Combination of factors, really.

A, I love beer.

B, I love people.

C, people love beer.

It was really
a no-brainer from there.

That one's on the Olde Inn.

Thank you.

Now may I ask you
a personal question?

You may, though if it's religious
in nature, I might not give you...

Well then you have the right to remain
silent and all the rest of that.

Do you know, I have
a little girl named Amanda?

Do you?

Nice name.

Well, I mean, as in you have
the right to remain silent?

I think you're
thinking of Miranda,

your Miranda rights.

Am I?

Miranda, is it?
Never been arrested.

Well, what does Amanda
have the right to do?

I don't know.

Put her name
on an oven, I suppose.

Now that's actually Amana.

Oh, it is?
I've never bought an oven.

I've bought a few. Not
exactly a modest bit of ovens.

It's a great, great
feeling, buying an oven.

You're standing there
as they deliver it

and they look at you
and you say put it right there.

Or right there.

It depends where
you've got space for it.

All the while your
wife is gazing at you

as if you're
St. George or someone.

It's a great, great feeling.

I think I'd like
to buy an oven someday.

Put her right there.

Would you,
would you fellas mind...

No, you don't say, "Would
you mind," to these guys.

Put her there.

That's right, Father.
That's it.

If you ever do
decide to buy one,

I can steer you in
the right direction.

I don't know.

Well, you can always
have a job here.

A priest pouring beer?

Be a mighty draw.

- Ah, Father, I promised my family
I'd, ah... - Oh. I'm so sorry.

No, no, no, you stay
here as long as you like.

It's just they're waiting
for me at the Worthington party.

You should drop by.

Either way,
you take your time here.

Just shut the door
on your way out, all right?

Thank you.

Dermott. What was it
you were gonna ask me?

How did you know you were
supposed to be a priest?

Ah, I'm gonna have to invoke
my Amanda rights on that one.

Right.

Merry Christmas, Father.

Merry Christmas, Dermott.

- Father Keene.
- Father Time.

Father Christmas.

Gentlemen.

Going further, Father?

Ah.

Do you prefer cowboy movies
with fighting in them

or tuxedo love movies?

Tuxedo love?

Yes, movies where
men wear tuxedos

and there's no fighting,
only lots of talking and kissing

and they're always black
and white, as opposed to color.

Definitely tuxedo love,
definitely.

I agree.

Hey, John.

Glad you could make it.

Thank you.

Do you see that?

That's my idea of church.

That's my idea of Heaven.

That's peace
on earth, my friend.

You know, when I was a kid

we summered here on the cape.

We had a cottage on the beach.

Every morning I'd get up
and go out to the porch

and my dad would always
be there, havin' his coffee,

starin' out at the ocean.

I'd climb up next to him

and we'd stare
at the sunlight on the water.

We never said a word,

but seeing all that light,

feelin' his arm around me,

I used to think
that's what Heaven was like.

I think I want
a family of my own, John.

What?

I think I'm gonna get married.

Uh, to whom?

Oh, hold it, hold it.

You're just gonna renounce
your vows to the church?

I made no vows to the church.

I made a vow to God
to look after his sheep.

She's one of his sheep.

We're supposed to put
others above ourselves,

and besides, you're
kicking me out of a job.

Yeah, but you're
always a priest.

I always will be,
for her, for our child.

Simeon, that's not your child.

I'll make it my child. I'll treat
that kid as if it were our own.

Has she said yes?

She hasn't said no.

Her shooter
has dropped his guard.

I sense an opportunity.

Wish me luck.

I've now been rejected
by two partners.

I figure you're the obvious
choice for number three.

I can't dance.

I'll show you. Come here.

We might as well be
friends again, right?

Where we ever friends?

I think we might've been
under different circumstances.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I used to dream about
having a nice wedding

here in the backyard.

Years go by and the guy
you dreamed about...

never shows.

And then you wake up,
about to be a mother.

I love kids.

I want kids, but not like this.

And I've thought
about that, too.

About what?

I always know
what you're thinking.

What was I thinking?

What if I never get
another chance, right?

I am getting older.

What if this is
my one shot at a baby?

I've thought about it.

And I don't know.

So as a friend, not as a priest,

as a friend, what should I do?

My grandmother thinks your
the worst priest she's ever met.

She thinks you're a spy.

I don't think you're a spy.

You know what I think you are?

Shall I tell you?

Hey.

What, what just happened?

I think you just got kicked.

He went crazy
when we started dancing.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

How far along are you?

Six months.
I don't know, maybe more.

- But, but you don't look...
- Dad?

What is it, honey?

Where's my dad?

He's right here, baby.

Right here, sweetheart.

This is Amanda, Father.

Sleepwalker.

Ow! Ow!

What, what's wrong?

I'm not sure.

- You wanna sit down?
- Yeah.

- Should I get someone?
- I don't know.

Ow. Get Simeon.

Hey, Simeon?

I'm gonna write a book.

- It's gonna be very scandalous.

Get out.

Did you get enough
to drink out there?

Save some
for the rest of us, pal.

Anybody see that?

Did anybody see that?

- Hey, this is the backyard.
- Are you all right?

It feels a little better.
- That's good.

You're bleeding pretty badly.

That's good.
How do I get out of here?

- I gotta get ready for mass.
- No, nobody's gonna be there.

Come here.

Come sit down.

Tip your head back.
Hold still.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

Shh. Let me see.

- Oh, it might need stitches.
- Okay.

Well, I'm not gonna do them.
You need to go to the hospital.

Yeah, okay, that's fine.

Hey, are you listening to me?

I didn't mean
to say that in there.

I didn't.

- Have you always wanted to be a priest?
- No.

I wasn't even Catholic.
My girlfriend was.

- I thought you couldn't have girlfriends.
- We can't.

This was college.
She was Catholic.

I was just the guy
that got her pregnant.

She wanted to get
married, I didn't.

But I said I'd think about it
if she'd have it taken care of.

We start again.

We fought about that one a lot.

I put a lot of pressure on her,
a lot of pressure, a lot of guilt.

Finally just wore her down.

She did what I asked,
but we didn't get married.

We broke up.

I thought that
was the end of it.

But I started having dreams

and seeing things.

Stupid stuff.

Her.

I knew her face
the first time I saw her.

It was like
I've always known her.

She's beautiful.

If I had known she was gonna
be mine, I would've wanted her.

And I wanted her to forgive me.

More than anything.

So I thought I'd...

I thought I'd try to pay for it.

I... I never wanted
to be a priest.

I've obviously had
way too much to drink.

Goodnight, Miss Worthington.

How long have you
been standing there?

Oh.

- Hey, John.
- Not now, Simeon.

- John.
- Not now!

That's the closet.

Mr. Harrod, I am genuinely sorry.
Please forgive me.

Like hell I will!
You'll be hearing from my attorneys!

- Hang on, John.
- I can't!

I have a mass to prepare for.

And I expect to see
everybody there.

John. John.

Get out of here, Simeon.

- Try the choke.
- Go back in to your wife.

- You're flooding it. Wait a sec.
- I'm not gonna talk about this.

- Did I say anything?
- Not one word.

Being a priest is a privilege,
not a punishment.

- Yeah, that's it.
- Hey!

Is this what you're after?

Forgiveness is an awful
business, isn't it?

But your man here beat you
to it. It's not your job.

What is my job?

To love one another.

I don't love anyone.

Then you're an imposter, John.

You're a liar.

Take off the collar,
lay it down.

- Just walk away.
- I can't.

I don't think you have a choice.

Don't you get it? It doesn't
matter what you think.

You've been removed because of what
you think. Look at yourself, Simeon.

You're about to lay down
your own vows

because you feel sorry for some
girl that got herself knocked up,

so don't preach to me about
love and laying things down.

I'll never lay anything down.

He certainly laid that down.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Did you run all the way here?

How come you're
breathing so well?

I don't know.

Why are you so mean?

I don't know.

In the library once I imagined
you as this kid's father.

And you were nice.

I'm an idiot.
I want this baby.

I know you do
and I'm gonna go get help.

Wait.

Wait.

What's gonna happen to me?

Nothing. Nothing.

You're gonna,
you're gonna be just fine.

You are such a liar.

How'd you ever pass
your priest exam? Oh.

- Hang on, I'll be right back.
- Don't leave me.

- I'm just gonna get help.
- Don't come back if you think I'm Mary.

- Because I'm not.
- I know that.

You don't know who I am.

I'm cold.

- Is this the latest version
of last rights? - Shut up.

Hell with last rights.
You're not dying.

- You're the worst priest I ever met.
- -Shut up.

I'm not Mary.

Hello, I'm Dr. Matthews.

Can I speak
to the father, please?

- Is there father here?
- Here.

Hi, I'm Dr. Matthews.

Baby is extremely premature and
the mother's had a very rough time.

- Father, wait.
- -Oh, Simeon can handle it from here.

But you don't know yet.

Maybe she's gonna live.

Maybe they're both gonna live.

I can't.
I don't wanna know.

Stop talkin' foolish.

It doesn't take a wise man
to see that you love the girl.

I had a dream right after Ari
got sick, a vision, I think.

And in it I saw him get better,
I saw him walk back into the church.

The whole church will see it.

They'll see God
worked a miracle for us.

It will be his stamp of approval
on this parish and on me.

John?

A light shines on us this day.

A child has been born unto us.

Here I leave you.

All is forgiven.

And there were in the same country
shepherds abiding in the fields,

keeping watch over
their flocks by night.

And lo, an angel
of the Lord came upon them,

and the glory of the Lord
shone round about them,

and they were very much afraid.

And the angel said to them.

Fear not, for behold
I bring you good tidings

of great joy which
shall be for all people,

for unto you is born
this day in the city of David

a savior who is Christ the Lord.

And let this be a sign unto you.

You'll find a baby wrapped in swaddling
clothes and lying in a manger.

And suddenly there
was with the angel

a multitude
of the heavenly host,

praising God and saying glory
to God in the highest.

Peace on earth,
good will toward men.

Peace on earth.

Peace on earth.