Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:07,440
ISAAC: We are ghosts.
2
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:08,742
While most spirits pass on
3
00:00:08,808 --> 00:00:10,110
to the afterlife, we are
4
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,277
cursed to spend eternity
5
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,756
- (gasps)
Oh, and she's gone.
6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,547
Now what's going
to happen to the house?
7
00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:16,654
This must be them, the new
folks that own the house.
8
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,262
- Why don't we just try haunting?
- Oh!
9
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,287
We scare them away.
We're ghosts!
10
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,599
- We did it!
- (shouts)
11
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,068
PETE: W-Watch out!
12
00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:25,492
(gasps)
13
00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:26,570
- Oh.
- (gasps)
14
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,294
Oh, my God! Sam? Sam!
15
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,763
I hope
you were at least as upset
16
00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:31,629
when I was technically dead
for three minutes.
17
00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:33,643
- This can't be real.
- JAY: What are you looking at?
18
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,012
- I think you're right. She can see us.
- Uh-huh.
19
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,102
(screams)
20
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,276
(bird cawing)
21
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:46,312
(sighs)
22
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:55,155
(soft clattering)
23
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,799
(gasps)
24
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,502
(sighs): Ah.
25
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:10,670
Hello!
26
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,773
(both screaming)
27
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:18,077
(grunts)
28
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:21,446
Well?
29
00:01:21,446 --> 00:01:22,248
Yup, she can still see us.
30
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:23,583
Yes!
31
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:24,894
Also, she's apparently
a little cranky
32
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,252
before she's had her coffee.
33
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,354
♪ ♪
34
00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:35,662
Troops, never before have we
possessed the ability
35
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,597
to communicate with a Living.
36
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,732
We are in uncharted waters.
37
00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:43,470
Those are worst type of waters,
unless, of course, you find cod.
38
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:44,771
ISAAC: This opens up intriguing
39
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:47,106
possibilities
to get them to leave.
40
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,808
Namely: Diplomacy.
41
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,875
Thankfully, you're looking
42
00:01:50,875 --> 00:01:51,878
at the man who negotiated an end
43
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,848
to the Siege
of Fort Ticonderoga.
44
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:57,383
You surrendered unconditionally
to the British.
45
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,727
But we lived
to fight another day.
46
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:00,587
You died of dysentery
two weeks later.
47
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:02,188
Did I?
48
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:03,656
Thank you. Thank you.
49
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,625
Point is: I'm good at talking.
50
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:08,394
Don't talk to enemy,
destroy them.
51
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,264
Then toast their deaths
with horns full of mead!
52
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,333
Okay, that boy has
some serious anger issues.
53
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:15,835
Why do we have to make
the Livings leave?
54
00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:18,137
It just seems
like such a bummer.
55
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:19,915
Because, they're planning
on turning my beloved.
56
00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:22,842
Woodstone Mansion into a hotel,
that's why. We'll be overrun!
57
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:26,179
Exactly! We can't let
these invaders take our land.
58
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:27,480
Do you hear it? At all?
59
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:28,724
Do you hear the words
that you're saying?
60
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:30,216
PETE: You know, we don't have
61
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,352
to talk her into leaving
or destroy anyone.
62
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:35,321
We could just befriend her and
ask her not to open the hotel.
63
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:38,625
So, no hotel, but the hot chick
stays? I like that plan.
64
00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:41,694
Yeah, could be useful to have
a Living that we can talk to.
65
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:44,330
Ooh, I can get her
to look into the details
66
00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:46,566
surrounding my mysterious death.
67
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,835
Oh, please. You had
a heart attack.
68
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,680
- Which was likely brought on by poisoning.
- Okay.
69
00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:54,407
My death, like my life,
was spectacular. Had to be!
70
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:57,343
No way I went out from something
boring like a busted ticker.
71
00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:58,745
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
72
00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:00,489
My doc was pretty worried
about my blood pressure.
73
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,349
Luckily, didn't turn out
to be a problem. (Laughs)
74
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,418
Oh, what happened?
75
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:08,354
There's an arr...
we've been through this.
76
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:11,335
Jay! Where were you?
77
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:12,926
I was in the attic.
78
00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:15,539
- Are you okay?
- Jay, they're back. I woke up,
79
00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:17,874
- And one was in the bathroom...
- Whoa, whoa, okay, okay.
80
00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:20,266
These are just residual effects
from your accident.
81
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:21,711
- What happened?
- I ran into the door
82
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,703
When I tried to attack him
with a toilet brush.
83
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:27,540
Um, is that like to ghosts what
wooden stakes are to vampires?
84
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:28,942
It was the only thing handy!
85
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,753
Please don't make fun of me.
I really saw one.
86
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:34,314
Okay, okay. Um, have you seen
one since you hit your head?
87
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,249
No.
88
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,851
Do you think somehow hitting my
head the second time cured me?
89
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:40,729
I mean, if you haven't seen one
since you hit your head,
90
00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,532
- you're probably out of the woods.
- Oh, my God.
91
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,958
They're back! They're here.
They're all behind you.
92
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,960
Hello! Sorry about before.
93
00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:48,962
I don't see anybody.
94
00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,531
I would like to formally
open negotiations to discuss
95
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,377
- your withdrawal from Woodstone Mansion.
- Hear, hear.
96
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,835
There's a hippie and a Viking.
97
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,247
- Be gone!
- Peace!
98
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,671
And a guy dressed like Hamilton.
99
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,940
Hamilton? How do you
know about Hamilton?
100
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,675
One of them's not wearing
any pants.
101
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,504
Oh, yeah? You like that?
102
00:04:04,528 --> 00:04:06,312
Hi. Alberta.
103
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,790
Can you help me find out
who murdered me?
104
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,782
Hey, babe, remember
what the doctor said.
105
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:12,385
You-you might experience
some visual disturbances.
106
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,454
(gasping): I'm sorry.
107
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,389
Y-You're talking
about Alexander Hamilton?
108
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:17,991
Did that little twerp
become famous?
109
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,570
- Wait. Isn't that the guy on the ten-dollar bill?
- The what?
110
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:22,328
They seem really real.
111
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,807
- Well, of course we're real!
- We're right here.
112
00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:25,508
- He's on paper currency?
- THORFINN: You're hearing us!
113
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,610
Okay, but what do you think
is more likely? Do you think
114
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,402
you're seeing ghosts,
or do you think
115
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,437
you're suffering symptoms
of a severe concussion?
116
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:32,549
ALL: Ghosts.
117
00:04:32,549 --> 00:04:33,640
Obviously.
118
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:33,706
Yeah.
119
00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:35,008
Concussion.
120
00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:36,319
- (overlapping chatter)
- No!
121
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,378
They're all in your head.
122
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,613
You just ignore them,
and they'll go away.
123
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,592
- Ignore us?
- Well, that's rude.
124
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:44,317
You go get some rest
125
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,653
because your man is
taking care of business.
126
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:48,565
- Do you know how that works?
- Mm... Oh.
127
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:49,822
No. No, I do not.
128
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,701
- But the Internet does.
- The Internet?
129
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,902
It's an invention for looking
up stock prices and porn.
130
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:56,062
I'm gonna let the contractors
handle the big things.
131
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,973
But you know what? Papa Bear's
gonna save some money
132
00:04:57,997 --> 00:04:59,632
where I can,
because we're not all
133
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:01,501
Mr. Moneybags here, am I right?
134
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,403
(gasps) From where
135
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,814
did you find this awful painting
of my philandering husband?
136
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:07,751
- Oh, yeah, Elias. I remember when he sat for that painting.
- Mm.
137
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,719
- And then when he slept with the artist.
- Yeah.
138
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,612
Okay, I guess
I'll just go lie down.
139
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:14,080
You're gonna be better
in no time.
140
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,882
The bones have spoken,
141
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:18,317
and they foresee your doom!
142
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,420
Right. Thanks.
143
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:23,489
(drill whirring)
144
00:05:23,556 --> 00:05:25,692
(all exclaiming)
145
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:28,561
(groans)
146
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:31,931
What are you doing in my room?
147
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,412
- Oh, yeah, this is gonna make a dope man cave.
- What?
148
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,938
A cave of men?
What does that even mean?
149
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,441
(drill whirring)
150
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,042
(both gasp)
151
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,744
Oh, no.
152
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,155
What are... what are you...
what are you doing?
153
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,347
Oh, hey, Hetty. This is fun.
154
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:50,483
(gasps) This is not fun.
155
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,119
This horrible man has destroyed
the sanctity of our rooms.
156
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,555
Oh, it's like we're roommates.
157
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:57,050
You got this.
158
00:05:57,074 --> 00:05:58,524
(drill whirs)
159
00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:00,003
- Oh.
- Oh!
160
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:03,728
Crap.
161
00:06:03,728 --> 00:06:04,730
Are you mad?
162
00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:05,665
You've made it even bigger!
163
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,100
No, no, no, don't walk away!
164
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:09,669
Yay!
165
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,671
Hey, who's your favorite
boy ghost?
166
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,439
I'd say Thor,
but he really scares me,
167
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:14,707
but I kind of like that.
168
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,642
You know what?
No. No, no, no, no.
169
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,077
No, no, no.
170
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,379
ISAAC: This Jay fellow has
171
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:21,981
ruined our ability
to communicate
172
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,017
with Samantha by convincing her
that we are not real!
173
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:27,153
Which is a serious setback.
174
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,856
In the face of which,
a lesser leader
175
00:06:29,922 --> 00:06:31,424
might give up.
176
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,793
Like, for instance...
Oh, I don't know...
177
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,128
Hamilton.
178
00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:36,373
Dude is obsessed.
179
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:37,597
Mm.
180
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:41,134
He was a terrible commander.
He was all about himself!
181
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,036
Whereas I... I was known
for making men under me happy.
182
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:45,538
How are we supposed
to befriend Sam,
183
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,774
or "drive her from the land,"
184
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,509
yeah, yeah,
if she's just ignoring us?
185
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,944
Enemy's not supposed to ignore.
It hurts feelings.
186
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,679
We don't let her ignore us.
187
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,414
We do the same thing
I did in '98
188
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:57,416
when Lizzie Grubman told me
the list was closed
189
00:06:57,483 --> 00:07:00,119
for Diddy's White Party.
We keep bugging her!
190
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:01,831
- What kind of party?
- What is "Diddy"?
191
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,122
It's a jaunty little song.
192
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:04,557
The references
are not important!
193
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,459
The point is, we don't give up.
194
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,628
We keep bugging her.
Now is when we double down!
195
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:10,897
So simple, yet so brilliant.
196
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:13,643
- Thank you.
- We don't allow her to ignore us.
197
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,733
- (laughs)
- Yes.
198
00:07:15,733 --> 00:07:15,902
Yes, we will pester her
199
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,714
- in the kitchen.
- (others agreeing)
200
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,839
And we will annoy her
in the living room.
201
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,117
- Yeah!
- My idea.
202
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:22,875
We will make her life
a living hell
203
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:26,479
so she has no choice
but to finally acknowledge us!
204
00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:27,791
- Yes!
- Yes!
205
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,448
And then we drive them
from this land!
206
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,694
- Yes!
- Or have a nice, friendly chat!
207
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:32,962
- That one. You do that one.
- (overlapping chatter)
208
00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:34,654
She will rue the day!
209
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,923
Chop their legs off,
hang them from trees!
210
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,968
- Roll it back. It's too much!
- You're making it weird.
211
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,532
PETE: Hi there!
212
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,568
Hello?
213
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:49,878
All right, I know
you're actively ignoring us,
214
00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:51,170
but that's okay.
215
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:52,872
I was married for 16 years,
so I get it.
216
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,974
(laughs)
217
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,776
Ah. Oh, you looked at me.
218
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,878
She looked at me!
Ooh, it's working.
219
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:03,182
Aah! Death to our enemies!
220
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,688
Is it getting any better?
221
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:09,922
Um...
222
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,657
Now who would want me dead?
223
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:13,926
I was a beloved jazz singer.
224
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,388
Not really.
225
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,829
(yawns): I'm sorry, sweetie.
226
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,831
I'm sure it'll be
better tomorrow.
227
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,567
Okay, there was one person.
228
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:23,674
She thought I was having
an affair with her husband.
229
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,004
(laughs)
I was sleeping with him,
230
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:26,606
but she didn't know that,
so in a way,
231
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,808
I kind of wasn't
as far as she knew.
232
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:31,077
FLOWER: So then the bear
raised his arms to attack me,
233
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:32,287
but the shrooms were kicking in,
234
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:33,746
and I thought
he just wanted a hug.
235
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,190
You know, how everyone talks
about bear hugs?
236
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,892
They're not talking
about hugs from actual bears.
237
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:40,152
Can you please stop talking?
I'm trying to sleep.
238
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,288
Oh, yeah. No, totally.
Yeah, no, I'm so tired, too.
239
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,056
Why do we sleep?
240
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:45,568
I don't know.
241
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:47,059
When I was at Woodstock,
242
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:49,562
I didn't sleep at all, 'cause
I didn't want to miss anything,
243
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:50,863
especially the Grateful Dead.
244
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,965
I was a huge "Deadhead,"
which was ironic,
245
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,276
because I wasn't
even dead at the time.
246
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,702
I don't care.
247
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:01,107
(gasps)
248
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,276
Look, I get it.
249
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:06,545
Who wants to think they're
seeing ghosts? It's scary.
250
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:09,315
You know what's scarier?
Eternity.
251
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,984
So, I find ways to break it up,
create some drama.
252
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,986
Like yesterday, I told Alberta
253
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,789
that Hetty said
she didn't like her hat.
254
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:18,624
Now, did Hetty really say that?
255
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:22,028
Well, I will take that answer to
my grave, which will never come.
256
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:24,130
Which is why I have
to do this kind of stuff.
257
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,201
Oh, hi there. I'm Steve.
258
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:31,938
Unbelievable.
Jay, there's another one!
259
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:33,773
He's a big guy
with a greasy beard.
260
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,118
- Hey.
- JAY: Hey, babe.
261
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:36,609
Have you met Steve?
262
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:37,921
Here you go.
263
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,211
Wait. You can see him?
264
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,780
W-What's happening?
265
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,724
Sam, Steve! He's here
to help us with the cable.
266
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:45,584
Who is this man?
Another invader?
267
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,653
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, Steve.
268
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,922
I haven't been sleeping well.
It's great to meet you.
269
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,991
Um, that should about do it.
I went ahead
270
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,870
- and gave you three months of the sports package.
- Cool.
271
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,928
He too shall feel our wrath.
272
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,995
Shut up,
273
00:09:57,995 --> 00:09:58,698
uh...
274
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,300
♪ About that sports
package, Steve. ♪
275
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,935
What a deal!
276
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,171
Yeah. R-Right?
277
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:07,239
I'm-I'm...
I'm gonna test her out.
278
00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:10,609
(cheering)
279
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:11,753
ANNOUNCER:
The Vikings were known
280
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,088
for their prowess
on the battlefield,
281
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,947
often overpowering...
282
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:18,651
What is this... magical window?
283
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,718
Hello!
284
00:10:20,718 --> 00:10:22,021
Oh, okay. Well, I'm down
for a stroll. (Laughs)
285
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:24,357
Where we headed?
On behalf of my fellow ghosts,
286
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:26,069
- I'd just like to welcome you to...
- You're not real.
287
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:27,936
I mean, I'm not technically
alive, but I am real.
288
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:28,995
No, you're not.
289
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:30,373
- You're answering me.
- No, I'm not.
290
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,974
Okay, I thought
of a couple other people
291
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,332
who may have wanted me dead.
292
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:34,910
Any chance you could
hop the train down to Memphis
293
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,379
- and knock on some doors?
- Hey, am I crazy,
294
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,715
- Or is there chemistry here?
- This isn't happening!
295
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,307
I know.
I didn't expect this, either.
296
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,210
ISAAC: Okay,
so this machine truly has access
297
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:45,911
to the entire breadth
of human knowledge?
298
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,780
Yeah, pretty much.
299
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:50,149
Okay, I need you to look up
"Alexander Hamilton" on this.
300
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,385
(laughs)
301
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,720
Do you know how long
it would take me
302
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,188
to type all those letters?
303
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,134
- I must know what he went on to do.
- (scoffs)
304
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:01,160
He haunts me,
and I'm a damn ghost.
305
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,706
(sniffles)
306
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,230
Okay, buddy, stand back.
307
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,365
Let me work my magic.
308
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:09,201
(rhythmic exhaling)
309
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:10,803
(inhales sharply)
310
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,838
My God, the pageantry.
311
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,684
- Do you want this, or not?
- Yes. No, I do.
312
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,774
Shh!
313
00:11:16,774 --> 00:11:17,776
I... I like it.
314
00:11:17,776 --> 00:11:18,421
Ah...
315
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,046
Come on! Come on!
316
00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:21,680
You've got it! You've got it!
317
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:23,359
- Ah...
- And...
318
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,666
- Ah!
- (laughs)
319
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:35,261
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
320
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:37,673
- Oh, amazing. Okay, next letter. Next letter!
- Oh...
321
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:40,733
Mmm. Thor can smell
the salty brine.
322
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,311
- There's my toolbox.
- ANNOUNCER: The preparation for the cod hunt
323
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:43,803
Was a ritual of great importance
324
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,114
- in Viking society.
- Look at you.
325
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,774
Come on! Electricity!
326
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:51,410
Oh, by the loins of Freya, why?
327
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:53,245
Small man?!
328
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:55,347
(water dripping)
329
00:11:57,416 --> 00:11:59,819
Well, if it isn't "Mr. Fix It."
330
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,098
- Why has he got a hammer?
- Who knows?
331
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,133
- Okay.
- Oh, no, no.
332
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,258
Oh, no. Oh, you fool!
333
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:07,370
- What are you doing?
- Is he crazy, man?
334
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,161
Stop it! Just stop it!
335
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,730
God, I know we're dead,
but he's trying to kill us.
336
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:14,967
"Psychotic breaks."
337
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,146
- Okay, that's me.
- HETTY: A moment of your time.
338
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,182
- That's also me.
- You must repair my wall.
339
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:20,906
I cannot spend another night
listening
340
00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:22,741
to that bohemian blather away.
I won't do it!
341
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:24,243
Bring back my people
to the thing...
342
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,911
The sorcerer's window!
343
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:27,480
You are a strong, sane woman.
344
00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:29,348
You are a strong, sane woman!
345
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,150
Hey, big head.
346
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,186
I don't want you anyway.
347
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,189
See? Say something negative,
get 'em off balance.
348
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,902
- Oh, I don't know why I didn't start with this.
- "Depression,
349
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,427
Difficulty concentrating..."
350
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,138
JAY: Babe,
can you please bring me my screwdriver?
351
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,463
Sure thing.
352
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:45,725
She moves!
353
00:12:45,749 --> 00:12:46,966
Do not walk away from me!
354
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:50,302
She can't move too fast with
those slightly-too-large ankles!
355
00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,171
This is genius.
356
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,183
- You cannot escape us!
- (gasps) Oh!
357
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,342
No way I'm going down there.
358
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:58,911
No, no, they...
they are terrifying.
359
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,847
Jay, I think there's something
very wrong... Oh, my God!
360
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,359
- What?
- What do you mean, "what?"
361
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,526
There's a bunch
of zombies down here.
362
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,986
Zombies? Zombies aren't real.
363
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:08,888
We are ghosts.
We all died of cholera.
364
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,823
It wasn't great.
365
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:14,126
Babe, I think you really
just need some more rest.
366
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:17,930
We are way past rest. We need
to go to a hospital now.
367
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:19,532
Okay. Well, I'll drive you.
368
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:20,799
Red valve. Tell him...
369
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:23,369
(loud, overlapping chatter)
370
00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:24,446
Please turn the red valve!
371
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,871
Can you turn the red valve?
372
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,817
- What?
- Can you just turn the red valve?
373
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,876
It-it's kind of urgent,
if you like the house.
374
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:34,190
- MAN: There you go!
- WOMAN: Yes.
375
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,248
How did you know
about the red...?
376
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,450
Can we get the hell out
of here, please?
377
00:13:39,451 --> 00:13:40,613
Okay.
378
00:13:40,637 --> 00:13:41,820
No. Wait. Don't do that.
379
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,499
- Oh, come on...
- Oh. Nuts.
380
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,472
I'm just saying, it's been
three days, and I'm not feeling
381
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,831
any better, so I'm starting
to freak out.
382
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,967
Well, I have to be honest.
383
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,602
I don't think this
will get better.
384
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,882
- What?
- It seems as if your accident left you so close
385
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:02,107
To death, that you somehow
obtained the ability
386
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,120
- to actually see dead people.
- (laughs)
387
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,477
That can't be possible...
388
00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:07,580
It is quite rare,
but I've seen it before.
389
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:10,316
The last time was
around 85 years ago.
390
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:12,084
Wait. How-how old are you?
391
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,920
Well, I was about 50
when I died.
392
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:17,022
Now, sorry about that.
393
00:14:17,089 --> 00:14:19,291
I'll let you visit
with your living doctor.
394
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,103
- What seems to be troubling you?
- (gasps)
395
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,229
She's excellent, by the way.
396
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,902
THORFINN (laughing):
This is amazing.
397
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:31,370
The plan's working!
398
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,539
Working? Thor,
she ran off screaming.
399
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,974
We've driven her insane.
400
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,076
Oh, what does it matter?
Nothing matters.
401
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:39,021
- What's up with soldier boy?
- Isaac had me look up
402
00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:41,380
"Alexander Hamilton"
on Jay's computer.
403
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,024
His list of accomplishments
was even grander
404
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,416
than I could have imagined.
405
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,518
And then we looked up Isaac.
406
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:51,290
"graduated Dartmouth,
died of dysentery."
407
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:54,526
That's it? That's all it says?!
408
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:58,464
I was mentioned in but one
academic journal, in a footnote.
409
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:01,066
I'm literally a footnote
in history!
410
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,301
Well, Dartmouth is very good.
411
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:03,369
(coughing): Safety school.
412
00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:05,371
My life meant nothing.
413
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,673
Whereas my rival is known
to this day.
414
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,042
There was even a musical
about him!
415
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,077
You're really fixated
on that musical thing.
416
00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:13,946
Well, this might come
as a shock to you,
417
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:16,592
- since you see me as this tough military type...
- Mm.
418
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:19,551
but musical theater
is actually a passion of mine.
419
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:21,120
Hmm.
420
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:24,332
I'm just saying, maybe we
should have just stuck around
421
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:26,091
for a little while,
heard her out.
422
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:27,426
Maybe done the MRI?
423
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:28,594
There's no point.
424
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,162
They're not gonna find anything,
425
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,107
because I now know
there's nothing wrong with me!
426
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,666
Okay, but the doctor said...
427
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:35,301
That was the living doctor!
428
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:36,935
Of course she thinks
I'm delusional.
429
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,546
She's not trained for this.
But the ghost doctor...
430
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:40,472
Okay, that's where
you start to lose me.
431
00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:41,974
If the ghosts were
all in my head,
432
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,385
I'd be seeing the same ones
at the hospital
433
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:45,053
as I do back at the house,
but they're not.
434
00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:46,621
I see different ones
in different places.
435
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:48,447
Like that guy. Hey, bud.
436
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,451
What guy?
437
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:56,021
I know it's not great news,
but at least I'm not crazy.
438
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,025
No, no, Jay, look out!
439
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,527
(tires screech)
440
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:04,296
Phew. They were already dead.
441
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,075
- Sorry.
- What?!
442
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:07,377
Just drive.
443
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:08,634
I can't. I can't. I-I...
444
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:18,110
Listen, I know this is
a lot, but I'm with you.
445
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:21,013
No matter what, in
sickness and in health.
446
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,716
Okay? Because I love you.
447
00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:25,695
- Aw. He's a keeper.
- (gasps)
448
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,146
Hold that thought.
449
00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:28,554
What was that?
450
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,266
- Sam?!
- Sam?
451
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:31,667
- Sam?
- Sam?
452
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:33,992
Hold on. Hold up, Sam!
453
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,029
Sam, was there one in the car?
454
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:39,131
Sam, was there one in the car?
455
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:41,610
- (door opens)
- PETE: She's coming. Here she comes!
456
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,035
Ooh!
457
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:44,403
Okay, fine. I see all of you,
458
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,305
I admit your existence. Happy?
459
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,684
- Well, I mean, what is happy?
- It's a good step, babe.
460
00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:51,643
Great. But this
is our house now.
461
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:54,213
We inherited it, so, it is
time for you all to leave.
462
00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,048
It has been nice
to meet you, thank you,
463
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:57,683
but you can go haunt
someone else now.
464
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:02,154
(laughter)
465
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,089
She's funny, too. That's great.
466
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:06,156
ALBERTA: Girl,
467
00:17:06,156 --> 00:17:06,558
we can't leave.
468
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:08,069
Yeah, you just sort of stay
where you die.
469
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:09,328
And how you die.
470
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,063
It's your classic haunted house.
471
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,065
So, it seems it's the two of you
472
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,800
who should leave,
thank you kindly.
473
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,502
Well, that's not happening.
474
00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:18,079
We've already sunk all
our money into this place.
475
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:19,705
Plus, I see dead people
wherever I go,
476
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,540
so leaving doesn't even help me.
477
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,041
Okay, I'm back
to freaked out again.
478
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:24,376
Babe, just a second.
479
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:25,820
It seems like we're stuck
with each other.
480
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:27,613
But it is not going to go on
like this,
481
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,391
with all of you up in my face
all of the time.
482
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,717
So, what is it going to take
for you to leave me alone?
483
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,720
Huh? What do you want?
484
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:37,189
You! Viking guy,
what do you want?
485
00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:41,527
I want to see my people
in the magic box once a day!
486
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:44,540
- What?
- He wants to watch a show about Vikings on TV.
487
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,342
- Fine.
- Yes!
488
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:48,567
You, Wolf of Wall Street,
what do you want?
489
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,336
Leave him, kill yourself,
become a ghost and get with me.
490
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,238
But let's keep it casual.
491
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:54,750
- Gross. You.
- What'd he say?
492
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,708
I heard you mention
you were a writer.
493
00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:58,744
I'd like you
to pen my biography, so that
494
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,312
history may know my name.
495
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,890
Now that is actually
quite interesting.
496
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,316
And then take that book,
and adapt it
497
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:05,794
into an award-winning
Broadway musical.
498
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,719
I want you to invite
the descendants
499
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:10,165
of the ten most likely suspects
of my murder to a dinner party.
500
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:13,158
Find out who did it,
and exact revenge.
501
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,660
(laughs) No.
502
00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:16,739
- Uh, you, Woodstock... what do you want?
- Woodstock?
503
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,697
Uh, I'm easy. Just world peace.
504
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,432
And an end to bear attacks?
505
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,668
Sure. You? Downton Abbey?
506
00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,703
Take down that painting
of my awful husband,
507
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,539
and patch up the hole your
awful husband put in my wall.
508
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,150
He's not awful when
you get to know him.
509
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:30,686
- Wait a minute.
- You, next.
510
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,846
I'd like the entire Hudson
Valley returned to the Lenape.
511
00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:35,657
Barring that, maybe keep
the radio on in the afternoons?
512
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:36,826
- Mm, excellent idea.
- That's a good one.
513
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:38,661
- Yes!
- We could use some beats in here.
514
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,329
- Oh, I'd love to dance.
- ALBERTA: Play my album, Bonsoir.
515
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,398
- That would be fun.
- Okay, so that is everybody.
516
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:43,755
(clears throat)
517
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:46,125
Oh, what about you?
518
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:48,460
I just wanted to
say hi and welcome.
519
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:49,589
Hi.
520
00:18:49,613 --> 00:18:50,696
Welcome! (Laughs)
521
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:53,432
Wow. So, everybody feeling good?
522
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,601
I'm pretty far from good.
523
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:57,603
Ah, my husband still thinks
I'm nuts.
524
00:18:57,669 --> 00:19:00,639
You know what? Follow me.
525
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:07,679
SAMANTHA: Okay, now
526
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:09,915
ignite the flame, and
release the gas knob slowly.
527
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,527
- (clicking)
- Okay.
528
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,452
Now hit it twice on
the side, right there.
529
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,297
- Hit it?
- Seriously.
530
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:24,530
Okay, now turn the gas knob on,
and you'll hear a "whoomph."
531
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,232
Nothing.
532
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:28,843
Actually, a little past "on."
The calibration's off.
533
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:31,270
It's been wonky for
the last 40 years or so.
534
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:33,849
- (whoosh)
- Whoa. Whoa.
535
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:37,242
See? How else would
I know any of this?
536
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:43,181
Okay. Well, I guess
I believe you.
537
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:47,486
And... thank you.
538
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:49,621
They say, "You're welcome."
539
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,356
"They"? There's two of them?
540
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:53,725
Yup.
541
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:56,595
Are we done here?
542
00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:00,465
SAMANTHA: Oh.
543
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,844
- All taken care of?
- Yup.
544
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,303
Yup, covered the hole right up.
545
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,705
This is not the solution.
This is worse!
546
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,841
I demand you remedy
this posthaste!
547
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:13,278
If you're here, you're welcome.
548
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:14,557
- Are you starting a new article?
- Toying around
549
00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:16,759
- With a book idea, actually.
- Ooh.
550
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:18,817
Mm-mm-mm. More writey-writey,
less talky-talky.
551
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,385
Now, where was I?
552
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,264
- You were telling me about your wife.
- Huh?
553
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,265
Oh, no. No, not you.
It's a... it's a ghost thing.
554
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,258
All right. Well, uh, have fun.
555
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:27,893
ISAAC: Ah, yes, Beatrice.
556
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,529
She was a handsome woman.
557
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,464
We slept in separate bedrooms,
558
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:34,933
to keep the flame
of our passion burning bright.
559
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,336
Now, let's talk
military service.
560
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,805
I was a beloved commander,
though I was known for
561
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:40,872
riding my men hard.
562
00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:48,064
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
41144
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
