All language subtitles for black-ish.S07E18.WEBRip.x264-ION10.srt

Babies.

♪ Do do doop do doop da dum

They can't do

From the moment they're born,
all they do is take.

And as they get bigger,
they only take more.

Time.

Money.

Effort.

And if you do an even
halfway decent job?

They just up and leave you.

♪ 'Cause you'll always be
my baby ♪

Yep, parent --

it's the worst job
you'll never apply for.

W-Why are we sending Devante's
birthday invitations?

He's got hands.
Mm.

Zora. Nile.

I don't even know
who these kids are.

That's it, babe,
you know what?
Hmm?

We are not
politely declining gifts.

I want real ones.

And no books.
Okay.

The school is saying
I have to fly coach

on the class trip
to France.

Fix it.

And we're out of milk?

What do you people do
all day?

Oh, I don't know.

We just sit around all day
being ungrateful.

-Oh, no. I'm sorry.
-I work.

That's you.
You're the ungrateful ones!

If you're here to raid
the milk, too late.

Guys, I'm 21.
I can buy my own milk.

Also, I'm 21.
I don't drink milk. Ew.

Then why are you here?
Haven't we given you enough?

I actually wanted
to deliver this.

-What is that?
-Mm.

Dinner at yours
and Olivia's place?

-Mm-hmm.
-Huh.

Okay. And what time do you want
us to have the dinner delivered?

No, we're hosting you.

Moving out of the house
and in with Olivia,

I realized you guys
have given me so much.

I wouldn't be where I am
without you two.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

-Okay, it's a trap.
-Mm.

Yeah, he's selling
something.

That's a trap.
Absolutely.

He's gonna hold us hostage until
we buy his nasal vitamins.

Guys, I swear,
there is no catch.

Think of this dinner as
my way of saying "Thank you."

Hmm.
Thank you?

To us?
Mm-hmm.

Is...
Is this real?

Babe,
it -- it feels real.

Oh, I thought this only
happened in the movies

when one of the parents
was sick.

Is he...?Walk him out. Quickly.

Are you about
to ugly cry?

-Walk him out. Quickly.
-Get out.

-Uh, yeah.
-Get out of here.

-Go, go, go, go.
-Ah!

-You gonna ugly cry?
-Shh!

Okay, let it out, baby.

Oh, come on.

To our son...
Mm.

...Junior.
Whoo!

The first Johnson child
to pay us back in any way.

Yes.

I've always had a good feeling
about that Junior.
What?

That's why I've been there
for him every step of the way.

I put the time in,
you know?

You literally tried to take
the "Junior" from his name

when he said he didn't like
"New Jack City."

-Iron sharpens iron, Bow.
-Uh-huh.

And let's not bury the lede
-on this, okay?
-What's that?

We raised a young Black boy
-to maturity in America.
-Ooh, baby.

We deserve this victory lap
our son is giving us.

-Mm, mm, mm.
-His success is a reflection

of the amazing job
we've done as parents.

Ooh.

-You better preach.
-Mm-hmm.

Think of all that we have done
for these children.

Talk to me.
Carpooling.

Every day.
Shoe buying.

Five sets.
Listening.

I hate the listening.

-Their stories go nowhere.
-Circle.

That's why I'm so excited
that one of them

is finally
hosting us for once.

Mm-hmm.
Finally...

Mm.

...I get why people
have kids.

To payback.
To payback.

Mm.
Mm.

Hey, Pops.

Can I ask you something?

I don't know.
Can you?

Feels light.

It's all there.

We'll just see
about that.

Alright, regale me
with your dilemma.

Okay, so there's this new boy
at school, Bradley --

Hold on.

This feels like
a parent problem.

I'm your go-to
for grandparent problems,

like when you want to know
about the ABA

or what it was like in the '80s
or you need $2.

I need someone who knows
how to solve problems

without being one.

You came to
the right person.

I was a freelance fixer back
in the day for Maxine Waters.

Well, I'm trying to get
this boy's attention ...-hmm.

...to stand out, but without
coming off as desperate.

So, like, "I may like you,
but I don't need you."

Mm-hmm.

-High degree of difficulty.
-Mm-hmm.

You want this Bradley
-to see you, but did he?
-Right.

You have to be loud
in a quiet way,

project a focused attitude
of complete indifference.

So barge in
with a calming storm?

Easy.

Playing too much cricket
scares away the bees.

You want to walk the fine line
between a King in a Bar Fight

and the Lady on the Bus.

Mm.
Makes perfect sense.

And when you want to end
the conversation,

you hit him with this.

Mm.

You should
raise your rates.

Okay.
Thanks, Pops!

You got it, baby.
Mm!

Pops, you've gotta help me.

I dropped my chain
down the sink.

Oh, that's easy.

Tie a magnet to a string
and then pull it out.

Will that work?
I-It's real gold.

I gave you that chain, Jack.
It'll work.

Ah. Okay.

And they act like
this parenting stuff is hard.

When the night
of Junior's dinner came,

we were ready
-to be wined and dined.
-Hi!

After all,
we had earned it.

Oh, my -- Oh!

Oh, Junior.

-Oh! Hi!
-Hi!

-This is so nice!
-Ah.

-Thank you. Ooh.
-Here you go.

Sorry.
Sometimes it -- it sticks.

Oh. Okay.
Yeah.

Uh, I am
a real, grown-up adult now, yep.

The only cartoons I watch
are Japanese.

-Or Pixar.
-Okay.

I catch a "Caillou"
-every now and again.
-I see.

Okay, welcome,
-Dr. and Mr. Johnson.
-Oh.

-Champagne?
-Yes.
Oh, my goodness.

Champagne in
-a real glass?
-Oh, my gosh.

Who -- Who are we,
the Obamas?

Hello, Barack.

Hello, Michelle.

Sipping Champagne in your son's
fancy apartment --

what better way to see that
you've done your job?

Wait a sec.
Is that a crack?

All of a sudden,
everywhere I looked,

there were breaks, sparks,

neglect, and fire hazards.

This place was a mess.

What's up with
this window?

Oh, uh,
-a bat flew into it.
-Oh.

But I e-mailed
the new landlord.

He just hasn't
responded yet.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

-So call him.
-Okay.

-And get a rabies shot.
-Okay.

-Babe, it was a bat.
-You know what?

I left a bottle of wine
in the car.

I'm gonna go grab it
real quick.

-Okay. Sounds good.
-Okay.

I started to see
less of an apartment...

[ Cash register dinging] ...and more of a blank check

we'd have to write
to fix everything.

And it wasn't just the money
we would be investing.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

They also needed our time.

Hey.
Hmm?

What's going on with you?

Can't you see?
What?

We tried giving him
the juice,

but he can't handle
the juice, Bow.

He needs our juice.

He's not succeeding
on his own.

Junior, stop, stop, stop.

You know what?
Uh...

we're just gonna try again
-when the humidity drops.
-Mm.

That's all right.

At least we're not
trapped inside.

Come on.

Dre.

I don't know...
what you're worried about.

All we need to do is
sage that squatter energy

out of there,
and it's gonna be fine.

Are you kidding me?

It looks like
they furnished that place

-from Restitution Hardware.
-Oh, my --

It's gonna cost us
a lot of money to fix that.

I thought Junior
had crossed the finish line,

but now I see he is cramping
in the home stretch.

Now I gotta come out
of the stands

and carry him
to the medical tent.

That you think I can follow what
you're saying is astounding.

You can honestly
see all of this

and think that he's okay
on his own?
Eh --

You are closing your eyes
to an obvious scam.

But that doesn't surprise me,
Bow.

You grew up in a cult.

Dre.
Hmm?

You have to remember
where he is.

Okay, he could be
in a frat house right now

learning to step from a Kappa
named Big Chavis.

That's because the Omegas
wouldn't want him.

He doesn't have
enough rhythm to hop.

Oh, my God.

Dre, they're just trying
to do something nice for us.

Huh?

Can't you just
put on a smile

and show them
that we appreciate it?

I know you can get onboard
for dinner.

Fine.
Mm?
There you go.

But when I say
I have a headache,

that's the signal.

Really?
That's so funny.

'Cause whenever I use
that signal on you,

it doesn't work.

Hey!
Hey.
Hey.

We were just
talking about

how wonderful of a time
we're having.

-Especially your dad.
-Yep.

That's what
-he was saying.
-I was.

Isn't that what
-you were saying?
-Just wait.

We haven't even started
the games yet.

Ooh!
I'm so excited.

Ooh.

Oh, hey.
I had to try.

Did you?
What are you supposed to do?

There you go.

While Bow and I were out,

Pops, who thought parenting
was a snap,

was in charge at home.

Pops, it worked!

That guy from school
is totally into me.

Do you wanna go meet him
before we go hang out?

-Not particularly.
-Oh. Come on.

So, this is the man
I was telling you about --

my Pops.

So, uh,
you must be Bradley.

Oh, it's, uh --
it's "Brad-ley," my man,

but don't worry about it.

And I'd shake your hand,
but I just got inked.

-Huh.
-Nah, I'm just kidding,
old man.

-Oh.
-Hey, that's how we do it
in The Bay.

Okay.

I'm from The Bay.

Did you leave there
by choice?

Feels like you skipped a few
chapters there, Brad-ley.

Pops, you're hilarious.
Ah.

I'll be home by curfew.

Come on.

Dre's gonna have to
look out for that one.

At Bow's direction,
I plastered on a smile,

tried to relax
and have a good time.

Okay.
So, in history ...-hmm.

...while later proven false,
what was the rumored cause

of the Great Chicago Fire?

Mm.
Mm.

Probably too many extension
cords in the kitchen.

I'm -- I'm sorry, Dad.

Did you have something
that you wanted to say?

We don't have to
get into that, son.

-Mnh-mnh.
-Okay.

No, I-I think we should.

As a future
psychotherapist,

I've read that discussing issues
in the open is best

for sustaining
familial relationships.

Oh, my God!

Is that what I sound like
every time I say I'm a doctor?

-Yeah.
-Oh, my God!

It sounds so good!

-Well, thank you.
-That sounds good.

Okay, look, I just can't
look the other way

while I'm here, alright?

All I see are Band-Aids when
we raised you to follow through.

Those aren't extension cords
in the kitchen.

That's a fire hazard.

And that stuck door?

When the fire does come

and before you're overtaken
by smoke,

the last thought you will have
was, "Dad was right."

Or "Mr. Johnson was right,"
in your case.

Okay, I know we have
some maintenance issues,

but we have a new landlord
who has really been

dragging his feet
-on repairs.
-Yes.

So I've collected signatures
from the other tenants,

demanding action ...h.

...and now we have a meeting
about it next week.

-Okay.
-Yes.

Look, Dad, while we appreciate
your overreaction,

we've got this.

We built a shelf
the other day.

We're like the Black
Chip and Joanna Gaines.

That's what
-I'm talking about.
-Oh. I see the effort,

and I appreciate the hustle,
you guys.

That's why I haven't
said anything, okay?

You know why?
'Cause I'm a rational person.

And a good parent.

Okay, well, in light of
new information,

it seems as if you have things
under control.

-Mm-hmm.
-Thank you, Dad.

Alright, and keeping
our communication open,

I would just like to say that
if we don't get dinner soon,

I will become
unpleasant.

Yes.
More unpleasant.

Well, let's get this man
some food, right?

Yeah.
Ooh.

Jack.
Yeah?

Come here.
O-Okay.

Smile.

If anyone asks, we were here
all night together

watching "Jackie Brown"
-and eating soup.
-Mm.

I know the alibi routine.

W-W-What are you into?

Or is it better
that I don't know?

Oh, I just want to make sure
everything's okay

with Diane
and this...date.

-You seem really worried.
-No, I'm not worried.

You know who worries?
Dads.

-Mm.
-Not granddads like me.

I'm gonna go get a beer.
I'll offer you a sip.

But y-you're pacing.
Usually, you're sitting.

Well, you know what?
You're kinda acting like a dad.

No. I'm acting like
a concerned grandfather

who wants to make sure
that his granddaughter is safe

and making good choices.

Way different from a dad.

Okay.

That's why I'm going to
introduce Brad-ley

-to a friend of mine.
-Hmm.

-He's from Louisville.
-Really?

What's your friend's name?

Oh.
The -- The bat.

Oh.

Very good, Jack.

Very good.

-Ah.
-Cheers, cheers, cheers.

-Alright,
-Oh, hey!

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Before we eat...

So close.

...Mom, Dad...
Yes.

I just wanted
to say thank you

for everything that you have
done to help get me here.

-Aw!
-Ah.

When I was a boy,
I needed training wheels,

but you taught me how to pedal
with my own two feet.

-Aw! Goodness.
-And now here we are.

-What is that?
-What is that? Ooh.

Oh.

The mice are awake.
Yeah.

What?!
Did you just say mice?

Yeah, we saw a mouse
a couple weeks ago.

That's actually why
we got a cat.

That's why you got a cat?!
Excuse me?!

You invited us up in here
in an infestation?!

N-No.
No, no!

No-bo-dy eats.
Okay?

No. No.

We can't tell if these are
actually raisins in this rice.

Okay, so now you
come onto my side?

After the food
is served?

Everything is fine.

We've been keeping
all of our food in bins,

and we have stopped
buying cheese.

Nothing about that
is fine, Junior.

Anyone who thinks
that bins and cats

are an acceptable
solution

should not be living
on their own.

You're moving home.

-Oh, no.
-This is his home.

This is our home.

Don't you worry, little lady.

You are coming, too,
alright?

You can study under my roof
and my tutelage.

See, babe, now you are
making sense.

We'll pay whatever's left
on their lease

and get them moved in
by the weekend.

Just until you guys
get on your feet.

Okay. Respectfully,
we're on our feet.

-Oh.
-And we're staying.

Now, this place
may have a few problems,

but we're proud of the home
that we --

Aaah!
What the hell
was that sound?!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, you guys
might want to leave.

A fresh kill normally
brings out the rats.

The what?!
Okay.

Do you want me to make you
a to-go plate?

Alright, okay.

You know the answer to that,
Junior.

Wrap it up.

After a much-needed
drive-thru stop,

Bow and I devised a plan to fix
all of Junior's problems.

Then...
Mm.

...we bribe an exterminator
to fumigate.

They won't have enough money
for a hotel,

and they'll move back in.

And then we teach a "living on
your own" masterclass.

Lesson one -- throw out
-those soy sauce packets.
-Uh-huh.

What's got you two in here
sounding like "Red Table Talk"?

Well, Pops,
Junior has made it obvious

that he is not ready
to live on his own,

and him and Olivia think that we
are supposed to be okay with it.

Well, he's right.
You are.
What?

I think you two
are forgetting about

what your first place
was like.

But --
What?

I mean,
I've stayed in some

bad spots in my time,

but even I wouldn't have
slept there.

Man, please!

Our first apartment was
way better than Junior's.

Good location, great lighting,
immaculately decorated.

-It was terrible.
-What?

Y'all got all your furniture
from off the curb.

Well, we were into
sustainability

before it was cool.

Oh, that's what
it's called?

Okay, fine.

-We were a mess.
-Mm.

They did find a new species
-of bedbug in our apartment.
-Yeah.

But it's normal for us,
Pops,

to want something better
for Junior than we had.

It's frustrating to find out
how much more work

we have left
to do with him.

Pops, we were in
victory formation,

running out the clock.

I thought the game was over.
We were done.

-What's so funny?
-What?

You thought
you were done?

Yes.
Yeah.

You'll never be done.
Look at me.

I'm still parenting you
right now,

and I'm not even
good at it.

Mm.

As I have learned,
sometimes all you can do

is hope that
they'll be okay,

even when
it's not okay with you.

Ah --Ah.

-He has a point.
-Hmm?

We have continued to move
the goal line for Junior ...ah.

...with school, with his job,
with this apartment.

It's like we're always on him
for a plan.

Yeah.

It's like we always sweat
what's next

instead of
seeing what is.

And, you know,
he is doing pretty good.

He is.

We may owe him
an apology.

Yeah.

You more than me.

I mean, I handled myself
pretty well.

What?
I did.

You left your purse there and
said, "It's trash now."

Okay.

Maybe I should
get him flowers.

Yeah.
You should.

Ah.

Pops, were you waiting up
for me?

No, no, no.

Uh...you did stay out
kind of late, though, Diane.

It's 9:30.

Well, that's gotta be
past your bedtime.

Well, clearly,
it's past yours.

Mm-hmm.

You called your friend
from Louisville?

Wait.

Were you worried about
me and Brad-ley?

No. No.

I was working with Jack
on his swing.

I think the boy got a chance
at playing with the Dodgers.

Pops, Bradley is harmless.

He says he's from The Bay,
but he's really from Sacramento.

He's the new kid trying
to pull a "Fresh Prince,"

and I told him he better drop it
if he's gonna be my boyfriend.

That's all you needed
my advice for?

So you could hit him with
an Evander Holyfield?

Pops, I didn't only need
your advice for some boy.

I don't just come to you
for cash

or stories about
how you used to be able

to smoke around babies.

You're the only person
in this house

that doesn't treat me
like a kid.

You give it to me
straight.

Well, that's the only way
I know how to do it.

You've been showing me how to
be myself for my whole life.

Just being here,
watching you.

You've helped me
put the pieces together.

Well, if you ever need
more help

putting the pieces together,
or breaking them apart,

you know
I'm here for you.

And you know what?

-This one's on the house.
-Oh, no, Pops.

You should get something
for your trouble.

Oh, no. Trust me.
I already did.

I kept 20.
Oh.

It felt light.

Goodnight, Dee!

Goodnight.

The next day, Bow and I
put together a gift basket

for Junior and Olivia
to pair with our apology.

Is rat poison too much?

Okay.
As a gag?

Maybe we don't play into
how awful we were

when we fled
their apartment.

Oh, my God. Okay.
Let's cover it up.

-It was pretty bad.
-It was terrible.

-Hey, guys.
-Hey.

Oh, hey. Hey, Junior,
we were on our way --

Actually, I have something
to say.

Oh.
Oh.

I'm sorry
about last night.

I was so excited
to show you guys my new life

that I didn't stop
to think about

how you might be
disappointed by it.

-No, son.
-Oh, no.

If anyone should apologize,
it should be us.

It's us.

Well, you guys
aren't wrong.

We are struggling.

The cat is still stuck
in the walls.

Yes.
Okay, yes.

That is -- That is a problem,
but come on.

We just waltzed in there
and started keeping score.

Yeah, but we should be excited
for what's in front of you, son.

-Absolutely.
-Hey.

You got a good one
in Olivia.
Yes.

She really is.

I'm glad you guys
think so too.

Yeah,
and the thing is, man,

it shouldn't matter
what we think.

You don't need our approval
-to be happy.
-Pssh.

You're doing things
your way,

and that's how it should be
because it's your life.

Yes.

Guys, this -- this means
everything to me...
Mm.

...that you guys
-have faith in me.
-Mm.

That's what the "Thank you"
was for...

Mm....to say thank you
for raising me

to be the man
that I know I am.

Oh.

So, thank you.

Oh!
Bring it over here, son.

Come on,
bring it, son.

Oh.
Oh, God!

Aw!
Mm!

Bill.

Hold up.

Who are you?

Mr. Johnson.

I'm delighted to make
your acquaintance.

I'm Diane's boyfriend,
Bradley.

Oh.
Are you, now?

Aah!

"Delighted to make
your acquaintance."

Now tell your story walking.