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1
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This is the story
of four orphans brought together by fate.
2
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,252
They didn't know it yet...
3
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:23,255
but there was something greater
in store for them-
4
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,325
something epic.
5
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:46,076
Meet our first orphan- Lucy.
6
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:49,911
She had been raised by
a kindly old museum curator.
7
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- But alas...
- Ohh!
8
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,385
he was murdered.
9
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,057
Ow.
10
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,891
Oh, please don't die.
11
00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:06,398
Please don't die. You're all I have.
12
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,128
You're on my hand.
13
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,139
Oh, sorry.
14
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,767
It's a code.
15
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,010
But what is it?
16
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:28,647
Oh, my God! Oh, God!
The code! Please! Give me another clue!
17
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:32,082
I didn't read the book on tape.
18
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:40,128
Habeas corpus.
E pluribus unum.
19
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,096
God.
Um, the code, please.
20
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:51,203
Your body is in the shape
of a letter. Is it the letter "D"?
21
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:53,542
Please! Please!
22
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,171
Um, that's an "A"!
23
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:02,988
It's "V"! "V"! Uh, "I"! "I"!
24
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,623
Um, "N"!
25
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:11,095
Uh- Um-
26
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,998
Um, "I"-
27
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:19,402
Oh! "C"! "C"!
"I-C"!
28
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,468
"I"! "I."
Da-Da-Da- Da Vinci!
29
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,044
Right!
30
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,710
Oh, God. Oh.
31
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,344
Oh.
32
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:38,823
"So lame the hair of Tom."
33
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,264
Wait. "Lame."
34
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,266
"Lame" is a-
35
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:50,201
"Lame" is a seven-letter word.
36
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,570
The code is seven!
Right!
37
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,522
Oh, thank-
38
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:26,304
Right.
39
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,905
Then there was
our next orphan, Edward.
40
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:40,646
He was living in a Mexican monastery
with all the other children.
41
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,591
I'm not eating that.
42
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,066
Be grateful, Eduardo.
43
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:57,001
Today I made something
especially scrumptious.
44
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:12,413
Nacho!
45
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:18,355
Nacho!
46
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:23,487
Nacho!
47
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:32,769
Nacho...
48
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:38,277
Nacho...
49
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:41,678
cheese flavored Doritos are delicious!
50
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,022
Ah-choo!
51
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,727
I'm sick of this!
52
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:01,028
I'm going to be
a lucha libre wrestler.
53
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,836
You think you are better
than the other orphans?
54
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,635
- Yes.
- Chanchito!
55
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:12,735
Come. Teach him a lesson
in humility.
56
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:26,558
You gotta be kidding me.
57
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:34,495
You like the flavor
of the beans going up your nose?
58
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,398
Just take his arm
and spin it around!
59
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:44,375
Chanchito, throw him off the table.
60
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,684
Sweet!
61
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,280
And stay out, cabrĂ³n!
62
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,969
Our next orphan, Susan...
63
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:15,269
was on her way to Namibia to
meet her new adoptive parents.
64
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:23,581
- Can I get you a cocktail?
- Just some water.
65
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:26,278
Okay.
What can I get you to drink?
66
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,412
More juice, please.
67
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:12,265
I chose the wrong day to fly!
68
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,703
Enough is enough!
69
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:20,672
I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
70
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,174
- So have I!
- Enough is enough!
71
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:27,179
I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
72
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,943
- Right!
- I've had it...
73
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,951
with these motherfuckin' snakes
on this motherfuckin' plane!
74
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,021
Why do you keep saying that?
75
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:38,023
Because Internet bloggers
love it when I say...
76
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,617
I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
77
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:44,526
All right.
We get it already. Okay?
78
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,566
No, I don't think you do!
79
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:51,570
I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
80
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:55,130
- Why are you yelling?
- Shit, bitch, I'm always yellin'!
81
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,540
I'm Samuel motherfuckin' Jackson!
82
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,544
Bitch?
83
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:08,045
- The designer understands these things.
- Darling, you look great.
84
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:12,392
I'm so hot.
85
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,842
Yes!
86
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,921
And finally...
87
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,923
our last orphan, Peter.
88
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:49,394
He made his home among
the undesirables of society- the mutants.
89
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:52,932
But even there he was an outcast.
90
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:38,276
Hi, Mystique.
Hi, L.C.
91
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:44,475
Right, um, so, anyway,
I was wondering...
92
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,986
would you like to come
to the homecoming dance with me?
93
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,425
As if.
94
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,304
Nice hair, Rogue.
95
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:17,716
You talkin' to my girl...
96
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,786
numbnuts?
97
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:30,055
Asshole.
98
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:53,246
- Fight. Fight. Fight.
- Fight! Fight!
99
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,184
What are you gonna do about it?
100
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,920
He's unleashing his powers!
101
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,766
He's gonna spread angel wings!
102
00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:20,705
More like chicken wings!
103
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:29,183
Break it up.
Break it up.
104
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:34,522
You all know Peter is too much
of a pussy to stand up for himself.
105
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,376
Aah!
106
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,996
And for these four orphans...
107
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:13,157
life would never be the same.
108
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,385
Gross.
109
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:54,869
Welcome.
110
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:58,775
You must be Susan.
111
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:02,542
And you... are Peter.
112
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,144
And you're Edward.
113
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:08,812
And you-
114
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,386
You're Lucy.
115
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:17,629
I've been expecting you.
116
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:20,529
So, come on!
117
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,932
Ooh!
118
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:51,760
I love your legendary candy.
119
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,824
A chocolate river!
120
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,571
Mmm!
121
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,079
It's delicious!
122
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,681
It's so delicious!
123
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,022
Yea!
124
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:27,960
Chocolate!
125
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,968
That's, uh-
126
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,732
- That's actually the sewer line. Yeah.
- It's delic-
127
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,642
Children, do you want to know...
128
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:48,312
what makes all my candy
taste so special?
129
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,753
Uh-huh.
130
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:53,553
It's a special, secret ingredient.
131
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:58,063
It's real human parts.
132
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:01,827
There's gonna be a little itty-bitty piece
of each and every one of you...
133
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:05,063
inside of the Yummy Yum candy-
literally.
134
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,605
I'm gettin' out of here.
135
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:12,240
Let us out, freak!
136
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,279
Let us out, freak!
137
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:17,077
No, no.
I can't do that.
138
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,117
- Yes, you can.
- Yes, you can.
139
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,948
You're... mine now.
140
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,276
Aah!
141
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,458
Aah!
142
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,386
Stop! Let me go!
143
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,244
Ow!
144
00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:00,251
Aah!
145
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,885
What are you doing?
146
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:08,757
- Willy told me he wanted his knob polished.
- Dumb-ass.
147
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,729
We've gotta get out of here.
148
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,561
- We gotta get out of here.
- I just said that.
149
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,568
You just said that.
150
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:21,299
Where are we gonna go?
I don't have a home to go back to.
151
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,933
I thought this golden ticket
was my lucky break.
152
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,569
The curator was all I had.
153
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:30,080
I never had anyone.
I raised myself.
154
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:33,641
And that's why you have
such a tough exterior?
155
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,812
Yeah.
156
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,947
And you're kinda bitchy.
157
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:42,825
- Why us?
- Because we're four kids nobody would ever miss.
158
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,829
We'll be stuck here till we die.
159
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,092
Shut up, Edward.
You're scaring her.
160
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,658
Don't tell me what to do!
You're not my father!
161
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,432
- Two for flinching.
- Oww! Aah!
162
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:56,270
Leave Peter alone.
He was just sticking up for her.
163
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,179
I can take care of myself.
164
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,908
Like it or not,
we're all in this.
165
00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:08,920
It's obvious we don't like each other,
but if we're going to survive...
166
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:10,922
we have to stick together.
167
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:12,753
Aah!
168
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:20,021
- Ow.
- Was the fight over?
169
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:23,426
I didn't know.
170
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,436
- Hey!
- Shh! Someone's coming.
171
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,369
Who wants to chew my gum balls?
172
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:30,204
It's Willy. Hide!
173
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,454
Where are you?
174
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,043
I'm gonna find you.
175
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:57,062
Wow.
176
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,505
Wow.
177
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,042
Ooh! Oh.
178
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:24,082
Ooh.
179
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,733
Ooh.
180
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:30,553
It's stuck.
It's- It's stuck.
181
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,625
It's- It's stuck.
182
00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:02,755
You can do it!
183
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,891
My tongue!
184
00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:14,767
My ba-a-a-a-ad.
185
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:25,209
Where am I?
186
00:22:25,311 --> 00:22:28,075
The world of Gnarnia.
187
00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:41,058
Oh!
188
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,220
A silent "G," as in "gnome."
189
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:46,764
Or "gnarly."
190
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,766
- For legal purposes.
- Mm-hmm.
191
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,928
- I'm Mr. Tumnus.
- Oh, my name is Lucy.
192
00:22:53,206 --> 00:22:54,730
What are you?
193
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:59,205
I'm a faun.
Half man, half goat.
194
00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:04,710
- Oh, so you mean-
- Yeah. Dad screwed a goat.
195
00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:06,808
These are my folks.
196
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:09,114
Oh!
197
00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:13,086
- You have her goatee.
- Thanks.
198
00:23:15,328 --> 00:23:18,024
- And you?
- Oh. No.
199
00:23:18,131 --> 00:23:20,099
Both of my parents are human.
200
00:23:20,199 --> 00:23:22,827
Eew. Gro-o-o-ss!
201
00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:26,100
Aah- No. Yeah.
202
00:23:27,673 --> 00:23:31,074
So, you are
a daughter of Eve, huh?
203
00:23:31,177 --> 00:23:33,145
Uh-huh.
204
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:43,480
How rude of me.
Let me show you around.
205
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:45,921
Oh. Oh! Oh!
206
00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:49,961
I- I-
207
00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:58,502
Welcome to my faun crib.
208
00:24:16,155 --> 00:24:18,521
Come on. Let's go.
209
00:24:26,933 --> 00:24:29,424
Let's see what's in the fridge.
210
00:24:31,237 --> 00:24:33,205
Ooh!
Always gotta have Cristal.
211
00:24:35,608 --> 00:24:38,202
For when Diddy's in the house.
Yo, Diddy!
212
00:24:49,489 --> 00:24:51,389
Say "What's up?" to the honeys.
213
00:25:09,909 --> 00:25:11,877
Check out my plasma.
214
00:25:11,978 --> 00:25:14,378
Say hello to my little friend!
215
00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:18,673
Wanna play us?
Okay. Let's play.
216
00:25:19,986 --> 00:25:22,614
Scarface is the shit!
217
00:25:23,656 --> 00:25:25,453
I'm Tony Fauntana!
218
00:25:25,558 --> 00:25:29,187
You mess with me,
you're messing with the best!
219
00:25:32,231 --> 00:25:37,100
You ain't a true player unless
you got flat screens everywhere.
220
00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:40,104
In the toilet,
when I'm taking a leak.
221
00:25:40,206 --> 00:25:42,231
Say hello to my little friend!
222
00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:46,376
Wanna play us?
Okay, let's play!
223
00:25:46,479 --> 00:25:48,140
This is my favorite part.
224
00:25:52,084 --> 00:25:54,211
Whew!
225
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:58,450
Under the couch for when
I'm looking for change.
226
00:26:01,827 --> 00:26:04,057
Boo-yah!
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ching!
227
00:26:04,163 --> 00:26:07,655
On the top of her head
for when she, you know...
228
00:26:08,834 --> 00:26:10,927
shines my hooves.
229
00:26:18,210 --> 00:26:20,337
So now you all seen my crib.
230
00:26:20,446 --> 00:26:22,812
So get the hell out!
231
00:26:24,016 --> 00:26:26,610
Well, I really should
be getting back.
232
00:26:26,719 --> 00:26:31,349
No, but you, um, must stay.
233
00:26:31,457 --> 00:26:34,358
Oh, Mr. Tumnus,
I'll never forget you.
234
00:26:35,561 --> 00:26:38,155
Please take this
to remember me by.
235
00:26:41,567 --> 00:26:43,467
And I you.
236
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,431
I'm sorry.
237
00:26:49,609 --> 00:26:51,509
Lucy...
238
00:26:53,613 --> 00:26:55,547
you are in danger.
239
00:26:55,648 --> 00:26:58,811
- What are you-
- You must go now.
240
00:26:58,918 --> 00:27:01,318
Oh! What's wrong?
241
00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:03,547
Take this.
It will explain everything.
242
00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:21,863
Confirm identification.
243
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:23,942
My eyes! My-
244
00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:27,878
Oh.
245
00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:29,971
Well, that's better than LASIK.
246
00:27:33,419 --> 00:27:36,684
The evil White Bitch who rules Gnarnia...
247
00:27:36,789 --> 00:27:41,192
has ordered anyone
who finds a human to turn them in.
248
00:27:41,293 --> 00:27:45,059
I brought you ba-a-a-ack
to my lair to betray you...
249
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:47,064
but I couldn't do it.
250
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:49,361
You are a true friend.
251
00:27:50,936 --> 00:27:53,564
She has plunged our
once-peaceful land into eternal winter.
252
00:27:53,673 --> 00:27:56,233
Under her two terms,
we now have...
253
00:27:56,342 --> 00:27:59,573
wiretaps, no gay marriage...
254
00:27:59,679 --> 00:28:03,877
not to mention her bumbling
of the hurricane relief effort.
255
00:28:03,983 --> 00:28:09,444
And-And the White Bitch
doesn't care about black people.
256
00:28:11,824 --> 00:28:14,725
There is a small
resistance movement.
257
00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:18,786
They learned she's developing
a weapon of mass destruction...
258
00:28:18,898 --> 00:28:20,957
that can kill all of us.
259
00:28:23,069 --> 00:28:26,038
Wait, a real W.M.D.,
or, like, a fake Saddam one?
260
00:28:26,138 --> 00:28:28,231
No, a real one.
261
00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:30,274
That sounds bad.
262
00:28:31,310 --> 00:28:32,709
Go now, before she finds you.
263
00:28:32,812 --> 00:28:34,803
- But-
- There's no time to argue.
264
00:28:34,914 --> 00:28:36,313
Go no-o-o-o-ow!
265
00:28:36,415 --> 00:28:39,077
This message
will self-destruct in one second.
266
00:28:39,185 --> 00:28:40,652
Wait-What?
267
00:28:49,662 --> 00:28:52,495
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
268
00:28:57,002 --> 00:28:59,493
- Lucy?
- Who wants to play with Willy?
269
00:28:59,605 --> 00:29:02,438
Lucy, move over.
I need someplace to hide.
270
00:29:03,876 --> 00:29:06,606
Lucy. Lu-
271
00:29:06,712 --> 00:29:08,942
Who lives here?
Liberace?
272
00:29:14,754 --> 00:29:16,722
Aah!
273
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,625
This is a really big wardrobe.
274
00:30:23,622 --> 00:30:26,022
What a MI LF.
275
00:30:32,031 --> 00:30:34,499
Kneel before the queen!
276
00:30:37,369 --> 00:30:39,337
You're a son of Adam.
277
00:30:39,438 --> 00:30:42,771
A what?
No, I'm Edward.
278
00:30:42,875 --> 00:30:44,775
I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
I-
279
00:30:44,877 --> 00:30:47,345
- I was following Lucy into the wardrobe and-
- Lucy?
280
00:30:47,446 --> 00:30:49,914
- How many are in your family?
- No.
281
00:30:50,015 --> 00:30:52,575
Lucy, Peter and Susan
are not my family.
282
00:30:52,685 --> 00:30:54,676
We're all just a bunch of orphans.
283
00:30:54,787 --> 00:30:57,085
The prophecy!
284
00:30:57,189 --> 00:31:00,352
Please.
285
00:31:00,459 --> 00:31:02,893
Let me help you up.
286
00:31:06,699 --> 00:31:08,291
Wow.
287
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,961
- Oh, you must be parched.
- Yes.
288
00:31:20,646 --> 00:31:22,637
Whoa.
289
00:31:24,149 --> 00:31:25,912
Wow. A 40?
290
00:31:36,295 --> 00:31:38,923
- Ah.
- Drink.
291
00:31:42,835 --> 00:31:44,996
Fresh dog piss.
Go ahead.
292
00:31:46,105 --> 00:31:48,437
Yeah!
293
00:31:48,540 --> 00:31:50,940
I love this place.
294
00:31:51,043 --> 00:31:53,443
And this can all be your new home.
295
00:31:53,545 --> 00:31:56,571
With my help, you can be king.
296
00:31:57,917 --> 00:32:00,977
Wha-What? King?
297
00:32:02,755 --> 00:32:05,189
He can't be king-
Oww!
298
00:32:05,291 --> 00:32:07,088
And you would be my queen?
299
00:32:11,597 --> 00:32:13,827
I've never had a girlfriend before.
300
00:32:13,933 --> 00:32:16,367
Oh!
301
00:32:23,542 --> 00:32:25,510
Ah!
302
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:33,945
How about that?
303
00:32:36,088 --> 00:32:39,182
Oh, but first
I must meet the others.
304
00:32:39,291 --> 00:32:42,351
Why? You're not gonna make
Peter king too, are you?
305
00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:44,895
Oh! No.
306
00:32:44,997 --> 00:32:49,525
But every king
needs subjects to boss around.
307
00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:55,337
But, Your Majesty-
308
00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:02,311
Behold, my white castle.
309
00:33:03,582 --> 00:33:05,482
White Castle?
310
00:33:05,584 --> 00:33:08,485
I feel like I've been there before.
311
00:33:08,587 --> 00:33:12,079
Bring me the others,
and I'll crown you king.
312
00:33:13,192 --> 00:33:15,660
Yes!
313
00:33:34,847 --> 00:33:37,247
Lucy?
314
00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:39,613
Edward!
315
00:33:39,718 --> 00:33:42,209
You went through
the wardrobe too.
316
00:33:42,321 --> 00:33:44,516
- Lucy!
- Lucy!
317
00:33:44,623 --> 00:33:46,682
- Edward!
- Edward?
318
00:33:48,627 --> 00:33:50,618
This is quite a hiding place.
319
00:33:50,729 --> 00:33:53,061
We have to go now.
We're in grave danger.
320
00:33:53,165 --> 00:33:56,225
Oh, no, no. We should stay right here.
What's the hurry, Lucy?
321
00:33:56,335 --> 00:33:58,235
I mean, they just got here.
322
00:33:58,337 --> 00:34:00,032
Hey, look!
I'm spelling my name!
323
00:34:02,708 --> 00:34:05,472
- Mm-mmm.
- Please!
324
00:34:05,577 --> 00:34:08,045
We have to go.
Mr. Tumnus told me.
325
00:34:08,147 --> 00:34:10,581
Mr. Tumnus?
Who the bloody hell's that?
326
00:34:10,682 --> 00:34:13,549
I love Sudoku!
327
00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:18,253
He's a goat-man...
328
00:34:18,357 --> 00:34:20,222
and he warned of great peril!
329
00:34:20,325 --> 00:34:22,225
- Oh, Lucy.
- Fine!
330
00:34:22,327 --> 00:34:25,728
If you think I'm lying,
just go ask him yourself!
331
00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:27,423
Hmph.
332
00:34:30,736 --> 00:34:33,261
This is gonna be
harder than I thought.
333
00:34:35,641 --> 00:34:38,007
Hey, look!
Nicole Richie!
334
00:34:38,110 --> 00:34:40,408
Mm-mmm.
335
00:34:54,793 --> 00:34:56,454
Mr. Tumnus?
336
00:35:00,032 --> 00:35:02,125
Shit.
I know what happened.
337
00:35:02,234 --> 00:35:04,634
- What the hell is that thing?
- It's a talking beaver!
338
00:35:04,736 --> 00:35:06,533
- Holy shit!
- Get it outta here!
339
00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:09,368
No!
Motherf-
340
00:35:15,881 --> 00:35:19,339
Something in my groin tells me
you're not used to a talking beaver.
341
00:35:19,451 --> 00:35:21,851
My name is Harry Beaver.
342
00:35:23,789 --> 00:35:26,383
Mr. Tumnus is my life partner.
343
00:35:26,492 --> 00:35:28,289
Mmm. Sweet man.
344
00:35:30,629 --> 00:35:33,154
Mr. Tumnus was taken
by the White Bitch.
345
00:35:33,265 --> 00:35:35,699
She's hot-
I mean, never heard of her.
346
00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:39,794
The evil ruler. She arrested
Mr. Tumnus for hiding a human.
347
00:35:39,905 --> 00:35:42,169
Is there anything
we can do to help?
348
00:35:42,274 --> 00:35:44,174
Uh, yes.
You must go to Aslo.
349
00:35:44,276 --> 00:35:47,040
He's waiting for you
at the Ancient Table.
350
00:35:47,146 --> 00:35:50,877
- Who's Aslo?
- Who's Aslo?
351
00:35:50,983 --> 00:35:52,644
He's the true king of Gnarnia.
352
00:35:52,751 --> 00:35:55,379
- Not for long.
- Hello? The prophecy?
353
00:35:55,487 --> 00:36:00,151
The four of you will join Aslo and lead
the resistance to destroy the White Bitch.
354
00:36:00,259 --> 00:36:02,386
- Us?
- Yes. You're all heroes.
355
00:36:02,494 --> 00:36:04,519
Especially you, Peter.
356
00:36:04,630 --> 00:36:09,192
My son,
I have sent you to Earth for a reason.
357
00:36:09,301 --> 00:36:11,496
You will be the savior
of all mankind.
358
00:36:16,141 --> 00:36:18,609
You are truly invincible.
359
00:36:30,889 --> 00:36:34,791
Oh, my God! You shot me
in the fucking eye! That really hurts!
360
00:36:34,893 --> 00:36:39,091
Why would you do that?
That was so unnecessary! You bastard!
361
00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:48,696
- But I can't be.
"But I can't be." Why him?
362
00:36:48,807 --> 00:36:52,243
Well, maybe not Superman,
but a hero all the same.
363
00:36:52,344 --> 00:36:54,312
It's your destiny.
364
00:36:58,150 --> 00:37:00,983
Do you think you were
all brought together by chance?
365
00:37:01,086 --> 00:37:04,249
Look at the clues.
They're all around you.
366
00:37:12,331 --> 00:37:14,993
Oh, that's nice.
367
00:37:29,114 --> 00:37:31,082
We're all in the painting.
368
00:37:35,354 --> 00:37:37,083
But what does it mean?
369
00:37:48,433 --> 00:37:50,401
Right.
370
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:56,400
It's a "cryptix."
371
00:37:56,508 --> 00:37:58,976
The curator taught me
how to decipher these.
372
00:38:04,916 --> 00:38:06,975
Upsy-daisy.
373
00:38:18,897 --> 00:38:20,865
Be careful.
374
00:38:31,109 --> 00:38:33,839
Well, what is it?
375
00:38:33,945 --> 00:38:35,708
It's our birth certificates.
376
00:38:38,550 --> 00:38:42,680
We all have the same last name
and the same parents.
377
00:38:46,091 --> 00:38:48,491
- I don't get it.
- You're all related!
378
00:38:49,695 --> 00:38:51,595
Brothers and sisters.
379
00:38:51,697 --> 00:38:53,995
You're a family, for Christ sakes!
380
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,660
- Sorry.
- Is it really true?
381
00:38:58,770 --> 00:39:01,762
None of us ever had
a real family before.
382
00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:04,706
None of us ever had a real family before.
383
00:39:04,810 --> 00:39:08,007
It's true.
You're quadruplets.
384
00:39:08,113 --> 00:39:11,605
- But our parents-
- Killed by the White Bitch.
385
00:39:11,717 --> 00:39:16,882
Then she separated the four of you
so the prophecy would never be fulfilled.
386
00:39:19,124 --> 00:39:21,092
Where's Edward?
387
00:39:24,296 --> 00:39:26,127
Hey, honey, I'm home.
388
00:39:26,231 --> 00:39:28,256
Hey, buddy.
Did you miss me?
389
00:39:28,367 --> 00:39:30,767
Ohh!
390
00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:35,101
- Why?
- 'Cause I ain't your buddy!
391
00:39:36,308 --> 00:39:38,708
Where are the others?
392
00:39:38,810 --> 00:39:41,711
I thought we had something special.
393
00:39:41,813 --> 00:39:44,714
I even got a tattoo
with your name on it.
394
00:39:49,221 --> 00:39:52,657
That looks more like
50 Cent's tattoo, you idiot.
395
00:39:52,758 --> 00:39:55,886
Shit!
They did the wrong one.
396
00:39:58,363 --> 00:40:02,595
I won't ask again.
Where is the rest of your family?
397
00:40:02,701 --> 00:40:06,068
I told you,
they're not my family.
398
00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:10,507
Tell me where they are.
399
00:40:10,609 --> 00:40:13,009
Never.
400
00:40:19,518 --> 00:40:22,919
Yeah, they went to Mr. Tumnus's house.
401
00:40:24,122 --> 00:40:28,058
Yes! Yes!
You just got punk'd! Yes!
402
00:40:29,094 --> 00:40:30,994
He did it!
He did it!
403
00:40:31,096 --> 00:40:33,929
Say it to the camera.
Come on, say it right there.
404
00:40:34,032 --> 00:40:35,932
- Say it!
- I just got punk'd.
405
00:40:36,034 --> 00:40:38,628
Schwow! Yeah!
406
00:40:38,737 --> 00:40:43,003
We just punk'd Edward!
Schwow! Schwow! Yeah!
407
00:40:43,108 --> 00:40:46,874
That was awesome!
Yeah! Yes!
408
00:40:46,978 --> 00:40:49,606
This thing up here is all me, baby!
409
00:40:49,714 --> 00:40:51,614
The trucker hat-
That's awesome!
410
00:40:51,716 --> 00:40:54,981
I did it. You love it.
You'll take it. Punk'd 'im!
411
00:40:55,086 --> 00:40:59,045
- That was really funny! Oh, my gosh! Too funny!
- You are so annoying!
412
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,853
No, that was really funny though!
413
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:06,396
Schwow! Schwow! Schwow!
Schwow! Schwow!
414
00:41:06,498 --> 00:41:09,058
Candy-ass trucker hat!
415
00:41:09,167 --> 00:41:12,295
Schwow. Schwow.
416
00:41:12,404 --> 00:41:14,372
Silas!
417
00:41:22,013 --> 00:41:24,880
The kids are with Mr. Tumnus.
418
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:28,043
I want you to find them
and kill them.
419
00:41:28,153 --> 00:41:32,249
Persona non grata.
Magna cum laude.
420
00:41:42,601 --> 00:41:48,335
Urts-hay oh-say ood-gay!
Ooh!
421
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,908
Ood-gay.
422
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:54,001
Ooh.
423
00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:56,103
No. No!
424
00:41:56,214 --> 00:41:58,182
- Here. You goin' to prison.
- Ow! Dude!
425
00:42:00,018 --> 00:42:02,350
- Edward!
- Edward!
- Edward!
426
00:42:02,454 --> 00:42:05,423
- Edward!
- Mr. Tumnus!
427
00:42:17,636 --> 00:42:20,070
I miss the smell of you, Harry Beaver.
428
00:42:24,342 --> 00:42:26,310
Eew.
429
00:42:28,580 --> 00:42:31,310
Oh, yeah.
430
00:42:34,019 --> 00:42:37,580
The White Bitch did this to you?
Shit!
431
00:42:37,689 --> 00:42:40,658
And now she has Edward.
432
00:42:40,759 --> 00:42:43,159
- We must rescue hi-
- Get ahold of yourself, Lucy!
433
00:42:43,261 --> 00:42:45,320
- Holy-
- It's too dangerous.
434
00:42:45,430 --> 00:42:48,160
If she catch you,
you are as good as dead.
435
00:42:48,266 --> 00:42:51,429
Um, that's me.
436
00:42:54,506 --> 00:42:56,406
"The resistance has found out...
437
00:42:56,508 --> 00:42:59,534
"that the White Bitch has completed
her weapon of mass destruction...
438
00:42:59,644 --> 00:43:01,475
and is going to launch it
in 24 hours."
439
00:43:01,580 --> 00:43:04,777
Let's get the hell out of here!
440
00:43:04,883 --> 00:43:07,477
Aslo is the only one
that can help now.
441
00:43:07,586 --> 00:43:10,282
Then take us to him.
442
00:43:12,390 --> 00:43:14,358
What'd you do that for?
443
00:43:16,695 --> 00:43:18,595
I forgot.
444
00:43:18,697 --> 00:43:22,599
Before you meet Aslo,
you must train.
445
00:43:22,701 --> 00:43:25,534
Only then you can defeat
the White Bitch...
446
00:43:25,637 --> 00:43:27,537
and save your brother.
447
00:43:27,639 --> 00:43:30,506
I'll meet you at Aslo's.
May the Force be with you.
448
00:43:43,054 --> 00:43:47,616
Someone's coming.
The bitch is on to you. You must go now.
449
00:43:47,726 --> 00:43:50,388
There you will train.
450
00:43:50,495 --> 00:43:52,395
Go!
451
00:43:55,266 --> 00:43:57,166
Mr. Tumnus?
452
00:43:57,268 --> 00:44:00,635
I will stay behind
and fight him off.
453
00:44:02,741 --> 00:44:06,734
No matter what,
you must not come back for me.
454
00:44:06,845 --> 00:44:09,405
- Yep.
- Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!
455
00:44:09,514 --> 00:44:12,108
Run!
456
00:44:26,364 --> 00:44:27,991
Stop!
457
00:44:28,099 --> 00:44:32,160
If you want them,
you'll have to go through me first.
458
00:44:33,371 --> 00:44:37,603
Please! Help!
459
00:44:37,709 --> 00:44:40,007
He needs our help!
460
00:44:40,111 --> 00:44:42,443
- Help!
- No, Susan, Lucy.
461
00:44:42,547 --> 00:44:44,640
He... wants us to go on.
462
00:44:44,749 --> 00:44:47,217
He sacrificed himself for us.
463
00:44:47,318 --> 00:44:50,253
Peter, if you can hear me...
464
00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:52,289
come back now!
465
00:44:54,392 --> 00:44:57,520
I definitely underestimated
the situation.
466
00:44:59,731 --> 00:45:01,562
I'm in a lot of pain!
467
00:45:01,666 --> 00:45:03,566
What should we do?
468
00:45:03,668 --> 00:45:06,569
Uh, we can't go back.
We have to-
469
00:45:06,671 --> 00:45:10,698
- We have to do what's best
for Edward and for Gnarnia.
- Screw Gnarnia!
470
00:45:12,811 --> 00:45:14,870
He's testing us.
471
00:45:14,979 --> 00:45:18,244
This is not a test!
I can see my brains!
472
00:45:34,933 --> 00:45:37,424
Et tu, Brute?
473
00:46:11,970 --> 00:46:15,201
Welcome!
My name is Harry Potter!
474
00:46:15,306 --> 00:46:18,707
Aren't you a little old
to still be a student here?
475
00:46:18,810 --> 00:46:21,210
Nonsense.
I am but 14.
476
00:46:21,312 --> 00:46:24,611
As are my two best friends,
Ron and Hermione.
477
00:46:25,917 --> 00:46:27,885
Greetings.
478
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,754
Hope you chicks are on the pill.
479
00:46:31,856 --> 00:46:33,756
Harry likes to get wasted...
480
00:46:33,858 --> 00:46:36,053
then show off
his sorcerer's stones.
481
00:46:38,229 --> 00:46:42,131
They are definitely too old
to still be doing this shit.
482
00:46:42,233 --> 00:46:45,134
We shall train you
so you can defeat the White Bitch...
483
00:46:45,236 --> 00:46:47,136
and restore peace to Gnarnia.
484
00:46:47,238 --> 00:46:50,503
We'll show you everything we know,
like how to use...
485
00:46:50,608 --> 00:46:53,168
the invisibility cloak.
486
00:47:00,118 --> 00:47:02,643
Oh, no!
I'm completely invisible!
487
00:47:02,754 --> 00:47:05,518
Where am I?
Who's that?
488
00:47:05,623 --> 00:47:08,592
- Where am I? I could be anywhere.
- Harry. Harry!
489
00:47:08,693 --> 00:47:10,661
Where am I?
490
00:47:17,435 --> 00:47:19,665
Step off, Potter!
491
00:47:19,771 --> 00:47:22,365
Right.
Wrong cloak.
492
00:47:22,473 --> 00:47:24,703
Let the training montage begin!
493
00:47:24,809 --> 00:47:26,709
Cue inspirational music.
494
00:47:26,811 --> 00:47:28,779
Blame the cloak.
495
00:47:29,981 --> 00:47:33,417
- Get your hips nice and square.
- Okay, uh-
496
00:47:33,518 --> 00:47:36,043
- All right. I'll set it up for you.
- Okay.
497
00:47:36,154 --> 00:47:38,122
- You ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
498
00:47:49,667 --> 00:47:52,431
Ipso facto "patrolo!"
499
00:47:52,537 --> 00:47:55,472
Oh! Yeah!
500
00:47:59,577 --> 00:48:02,273
Confront your fear!
501
00:48:02,380 --> 00:48:05,281
Do not cower
in the face of danger!
502
00:48:05,383 --> 00:48:09,479
Let nothing stand in the way of defeating
your enemy! Come on, Peter!
503
00:48:09,587 --> 00:48:11,953
Stop being such a little nancy boy!
504
00:48:12,056 --> 00:48:15,617
Schoolgirl! Pussy!
Chicken!
505
00:48:31,976 --> 00:48:35,434
Congratulations, Peter.
Your training is now complete.
506
00:48:35,546 --> 00:48:38,947
- You are now ready to meet Aslo.
- Yes!
507
00:48:39,050 --> 00:48:44,616
This crystal will finally
put an end to the resistance.
508
00:48:44,722 --> 00:48:48,249
I will start a series of earthquakes...
509
00:48:48,359 --> 00:48:51,260
that will collapse all of Gnarnia...
510
00:48:51,362 --> 00:48:53,694
and grow a new continent...
511
00:48:53,798 --> 00:48:57,131
where only I
and my followers will live.
512
00:48:59,170 --> 00:49:02,936
Yo, Bitch, that's pretty much
the plot of Superman Returns.
513
00:49:03,041 --> 00:49:05,168
Pretty much, yeah.
514
00:49:19,958 --> 00:49:22,825
It's an I.M. from Silas.
515
00:49:24,329 --> 00:49:26,559
"The... keeds...
516
00:49:26,664 --> 00:49:29,098
"have...
517
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:32,226
esca-puh-duh."
518
00:49:32,337 --> 00:49:34,897
"Escap-puh-duh."
519
00:49:35,006 --> 00:49:37,998
"The keeds have esca-puh-duh."
520
00:49:39,610 --> 00:49:41,703
The kids have escaped!
521
00:49:43,314 --> 00:49:44,804
Duh!
522
00:49:46,784 --> 00:49:52,017
I've got to catch and kill those children
before they ruin everything.
523
00:49:52,123 --> 00:49:54,387
See what else Edward knows.
524
00:49:54,492 --> 00:49:56,323
Let me out!
525
00:49:56,427 --> 00:49:58,827
Oh, I gotta get outta here.
526
00:49:58,930 --> 00:50:01,330
I'm never gonna see
my family again.
527
00:50:02,533 --> 00:50:04,524
I'll get you out of here, mate.
528
00:50:08,139 --> 00:50:11,040
Captain Morgan!
I love your rum!
529
00:50:12,310 --> 00:50:16,371
No!
Captain Jack Swallows.
530
00:50:18,716 --> 00:50:21,276
At your service.
531
00:50:21,386 --> 00:50:24,287
Jack Swallows?
532
00:50:24,389 --> 00:50:26,687
That's kinda gay, dude.
533
00:50:26,791 --> 00:50:28,691
Mmm.
534
00:50:28,793 --> 00:50:33,355
I believe in your quest, son,
and I'll reunite you with your family.
535
00:50:33,464 --> 00:50:37,298
I've got a ship waiting for us.
536
00:50:37,402 --> 00:50:40,394
Shh.
537
00:50:40,505 --> 00:50:43,303
How are we gonna
get out of here?
538
00:50:43,408 --> 00:50:45,399
Ah!
539
00:50:50,415 --> 00:50:52,576
Man down! Man down!
540
00:50:52,683 --> 00:50:54,651
I could have faked it!
541
00:50:58,423 --> 00:51:00,755
Quick!
He needs your help!
542
00:51:16,507 --> 00:51:18,532
Come, come!
We haven't got all day!
543
00:51:48,739 --> 00:51:51,105
Mmm!
544
00:51:51,209 --> 00:51:53,541
Wow!
A real pirate ship!
545
00:51:53,644 --> 00:51:56,670
Peter, Lucy and Susan
won't believe this.
546
00:51:58,049 --> 00:52:00,779
Hey, this is awesome.
What's it like being a pirate?
547
00:52:00,885 --> 00:52:05,015
Yo-ho, Ed, let me
break it down for you.
548
00:53:36,314 --> 00:53:38,179
Word to the Kraken!
549
00:53:41,419 --> 00:53:43,910
Time is winding, old boy.
550
00:53:44,021 --> 00:53:46,080
So where's your family, eh?
551
00:53:46,190 --> 00:53:49,125
They're on their way to
the Ancient Tables to meet Aslo...
552
00:53:49,227 --> 00:53:51,127
where he's assembled
the resistance.
553
00:53:51,229 --> 00:53:54,096
Interesting.
554
00:53:54,198 --> 00:53:56,223
God, you're easy.
555
00:54:03,674 --> 00:54:06,336
Thanks, love.
Oh, my.
556
00:54:08,179 --> 00:54:11,273
Wait. So this whole thing was a setup
just to get information out of me?
557
00:54:11,382 --> 00:54:15,512
Sorry, mate.
This isn't even a working pirate ship. Savvy?
558
00:54:21,392 --> 00:54:24,919
- Oh, shit!
- It was nice doin' business with you, love.
559
00:54:27,098 --> 00:54:28,759
Bugger!
560
00:54:31,869 --> 00:54:35,498
I'll get you for this...
561
00:54:35,606 --> 00:54:38,302
you-you-
562
00:54:38,409 --> 00:54:41,640
you... bitch.
563
00:54:46,717 --> 00:54:50,619
I always hated you,
Captain Jack Swallows.
564
00:54:54,292 --> 00:54:58,194
You think I like wearin' this
funny-lookin' hat? I'll roast your nuts!
565
00:54:58,296 --> 00:55:00,696
So...
566
00:55:00,798 --> 00:55:03,562
your family's going to Aslo.
567
00:55:03,668 --> 00:55:06,728
Summon the troops.
568
00:55:06,837 --> 00:55:09,635
If it's a war they want...
569
00:55:09,740 --> 00:55:11,799
it's a war they will get.
570
00:55:15,079 --> 00:55:17,547
Let's start things off
with a bang, shall we?
571
00:55:17,648 --> 00:55:20,708
- But you'll kill millions.
- Billions.
572
00:55:22,253 --> 00:55:24,813
Come on.
Let me hear you say it.
573
00:55:24,922 --> 00:55:27,914
- My family will stop you!
- Wrong!
574
00:55:28,025 --> 00:55:30,892
Ooh!
575
00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:47,366
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
576
00:55:49,113 --> 00:55:51,741
Oh! Ooh!
577
00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:54,249
Oh! Ooh!
578
00:55:54,352 --> 00:55:57,253
Damn that Superman plot!
579
00:56:38,929 --> 00:56:41,261
My name Borat.
580
00:56:41,365 --> 00:56:45,131
This my country of Gnarnia.
Is nice!
581
00:56:54,812 --> 00:56:56,837
She is my sister.
582
00:56:56,947 --> 00:57:00,974
She is number four faun prostitute
in all of Gnarnia.
583
00:57:01,085 --> 00:57:02,985
Nice!
584
00:57:14,098 --> 00:57:16,464
Aslo?
585
00:57:16,567 --> 00:57:18,762
Mmm!
586
00:57:18,869 --> 00:57:22,361
Where you goin', doll face?
I just took my Cialis.
587
00:57:22,473 --> 00:57:24,441
Screw you, Aslo!
588
00:57:25,810 --> 00:57:29,007
Ah, thanks a lot.
589
00:57:29,113 --> 00:57:30,603
You're Aslo the Lion?
590
00:57:30,714 --> 00:57:34,275
Li-man-
half lion, half man.
591
00:57:34,385 --> 00:57:38,788
- So you mean you're-
- My father Siegfried boinked a lion.
592
00:57:38,889 --> 00:57:43,292
But, you know,
what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
593
00:57:43,394 --> 00:57:48,195
Let me guess. The prophecy family.
594
00:57:48,299 --> 00:57:50,563
Uh-huh.
We've come a long way.
595
00:57:50,668 --> 00:57:53,728
Whatever.
You're missing one.
596
00:57:53,838 --> 00:57:56,739
- Yes, our brother Edward.
- Yes, our brother Edward.
597
00:57:58,142 --> 00:58:01,168
He betrayed you,
went to the White Bitch.
598
00:58:01,278 --> 00:58:04,042
- Well, it wasn't his fault.
- Yada yada yada.
599
00:58:04,148 --> 00:58:09,484
- But the prophecy says-
- "But the prophecy, the prophecy."
600
00:58:09,587 --> 00:58:11,919
Fine.
I'll help you get Edward back.
601
00:58:12,022 --> 00:58:13,353
- Oh!
- Mmm!
602
00:58:13,457 --> 00:58:17,553
But there's something
you've got to do for me.
603
00:58:22,633 --> 00:58:24,794
What are you in here for, Mel?
604
00:58:27,938 --> 00:58:29,769
You know.
605
00:58:29,874 --> 00:58:32,206
Glug, glug.
Vroom, vroom.
606
00:58:32,309 --> 00:58:34,539
Whoo!
607
00:58:38,883 --> 00:58:41,443
Listen, sugar tits.
F.Y.I.
608
00:58:41,552 --> 00:58:44,350
I like to sleep in the buff.
609
00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:56,329
Wow.
610
00:58:56,433 --> 00:58:58,628
Yeah.
611
00:58:58,736 --> 00:59:02,433
- That was spectacular.
- My butt's sore.
612
00:59:02,540 --> 00:59:04,440
Uh-oh!
613
00:59:04,542 --> 00:59:06,942
Dutch oven!
614
00:59:07,044 --> 00:59:09,706
Ooh!
615
00:59:18,722 --> 00:59:20,986
It's Aslo!
616
00:59:28,866 --> 00:59:34,429
In nomine Patris, et Filii,
et Spiritus Sancti.
617
01:00:16,213 --> 01:00:18,443
Huh?
618
01:00:53,183 --> 01:00:55,083
Come on, kids.
619
01:01:02,292 --> 01:01:05,193
Peter? Lucy! Susan!
620
01:01:05,295 --> 01:01:09,698
Oh, you guys, I've been such a prick.
Won't you ever forgive me?
621
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:11,734
We already have.
622
01:01:11,835 --> 01:01:15,703
- We're a family now.
- We're a family now.
623
01:01:15,806 --> 01:01:18,366
I like the sound of that.
624
01:01:21,979 --> 01:01:26,245
- I love you guys.
- Oh, have your Dr. Phil moment later.
625
01:01:26,350 --> 01:01:29,080
- Now get out of here!
- Go, go, go.
626
01:01:36,794 --> 01:01:40,195
Good-bye, Aslo.
627
01:01:56,037 --> 01:01:57,971
What?
What's wrong?
628
01:01:58,072 --> 01:02:00,597
He didn't make it.
629
01:02:00,708 --> 01:02:02,573
Oh, shit! A talking beaver!
630
01:02:02,677 --> 01:02:04,304
Wait!
631
01:02:07,215 --> 01:02:10,150
Oh, it's hard out here
for a beaver.
632
01:02:10,251 --> 01:02:13,414
You forgetful bitch!
I already met you.
633
01:02:13,521 --> 01:02:16,046
I know. Yeah.
634
01:02:16,157 --> 01:02:21,789
Aslo never came back.
The White Bitch killed him.
635
01:02:21,896 --> 01:02:25,161
And it gets worse.
636
01:02:29,737 --> 01:02:32,171
It's over.
637
01:02:34,041 --> 01:02:36,168
The White Bitch
will surely rule forever.
638
01:02:36,277 --> 01:02:38,575
But we have you.
You will lead us.
639
01:02:38,679 --> 01:02:41,170
You're the future
kings and queens of Gnarnia.
640
01:02:41,282 --> 01:02:43,978
It will be an honor
to fight for you, my lords.
641
01:02:44,085 --> 01:02:46,178
We'll fight for you.
642
01:02:48,256 --> 01:02:50,156
And so will we.
643
01:02:50,258 --> 01:02:53,659
We'll stand behind you, Peter.
644
01:02:53,761 --> 01:02:58,494
That bitch has threatened
our mutant way of life for too long.
645
01:02:58,599 --> 01:03:00,931
We believe in you.
646
01:03:06,607 --> 01:03:08,541
Tomorrow, we fight.
647
01:03:08,643 --> 01:03:11,009
So tonight, we party!
648
01:03:13,114 --> 01:03:17,210
Hello, Gnarnia!
Are you ready for rock and roll?
649
01:03:44,979 --> 01:03:47,607
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
650
01:03:47,715 --> 01:03:50,707
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
651
01:03:50,818 --> 01:03:52,979
Yeah!
652
01:03:53,087 --> 01:03:54,850
Yeah!
653
01:03:54,956 --> 01:03:56,856
You're up, Sis.
654
01:03:56,958 --> 01:04:00,018
Uh-uh.
I like to keep a clear head.
655
01:04:00,127 --> 01:04:02,823
Come on. Loosen up for once.
You wanna-
656
01:04:02,930 --> 01:04:06,730
You wanna, you know,
get your swerve on, like this.
657
01:04:06,834 --> 01:04:10,361
Like that. And then-
658
01:04:10,471 --> 01:04:14,430
No. Why?
What's the worst that could happen?
659
01:04:18,279 --> 01:04:20,543
- Maybe just one.
- All right.
660
01:04:24,385 --> 01:04:26,910
- Whoo-hoo!
- Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
661
01:04:27,021 --> 01:04:29,353
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
662
01:04:29,457 --> 01:04:31,687
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
663
01:04:46,340 --> 01:04:50,071
Hi.
664
01:04:50,177 --> 01:04:52,771
Hi.
665
01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:56,611
So, you're gonna be
the king of Gnarnia?
666
01:04:58,185 --> 01:05:00,483
- That's what they say.
- Mmm.
667
01:05:00,588 --> 01:05:03,921
I think that's so hot.
668
01:05:04,025 --> 01:05:08,223
Why don't we get out of here.
669
01:05:11,899 --> 01:05:14,163
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
670
01:05:14,268 --> 01:05:18,170
Chug it!
671
01:05:18,272 --> 01:05:22,800
Whoo! Yeah!
672
01:05:53,107 --> 01:05:55,268
I'm okay.
673
01:05:55,376 --> 01:05:57,139
You're good?
674
01:05:58,813 --> 01:06:01,304
- Hmm?
- I'm okay.
675
01:06:04,719 --> 01:06:07,051
Oh!
676
01:06:29,176 --> 01:06:33,704
Oh.
677
01:06:42,990 --> 01:06:45,550
- You know, I've got special powers.
- Uh-huh.
678
01:06:45,660 --> 01:06:48,424
I'm a shape-changer.
679
01:06:48,529 --> 01:06:51,521
I can change my form into anything.
680
01:06:51,632 --> 01:06:53,190
What do you like?
681
01:06:53,300 --> 01:06:55,291
Uh-
682
01:06:57,638 --> 01:07:01,096
Big hooters
with silver dollar nipples?
683
01:07:01,208 --> 01:07:03,176
All right.
684
01:07:09,884 --> 01:07:12,910
And a ghetto booty.
685
01:07:13,020 --> 01:07:16,046
Like- Like a lot of junk
in the trunk, say.
686
01:07:16,157 --> 01:07:20,218
Kinky. Mmm.
687
01:07:24,198 --> 01:07:26,632
Badonkadonk.
688
01:07:26,734 --> 01:07:29,965
- And a mono-brow!
- Come again?
689
01:07:30,071 --> 01:07:32,665
Mono-brow! Mono-brow!
King wants a mono-brow!
690
01:07:32,773 --> 01:07:34,741
Okay, okay.
691
01:07:40,514 --> 01:07:42,948
And big, flabby grandma arms.
692
01:07:43,050 --> 01:07:45,644
Oh!
693
01:07:45,753 --> 01:07:50,053
Bingo wings,
like a fat, blue Britney Spears.
694
01:07:50,157 --> 01:07:52,921
Oh, that's what I'm talking about.
695
01:07:54,729 --> 01:07:57,493
Come here!
696
01:08:23,224 --> 01:08:25,124
Where is everybody?
697
01:08:28,729 --> 01:08:32,460
I don't know. Maybe it had something to do
with Susan puking on everyone last night.
698
01:08:33,567 --> 01:08:35,467
We seem to be outnumbered.
699
01:09:07,168 --> 01:09:09,363
No.
700
01:09:09,470 --> 01:09:11,870
I'm not running anymore.
701
01:09:17,278 --> 01:09:19,678
Ow!
702
01:09:24,485 --> 01:09:26,715
Oh!
703
01:09:26,821 --> 01:09:30,348
We may not have the numbers on our side
or the weapons she possesses...
704
01:09:30,457 --> 01:09:32,584
but we have something
far more powerful.
705
01:09:32,693 --> 01:09:34,558
Perky breasts?
706
01:09:37,097 --> 01:09:38,997
The strength of our family.
707
01:09:39,099 --> 01:09:41,897
I'd follow you anywhere, brother.
708
01:09:51,912 --> 01:09:53,937
Oh, my-
709
01:09:56,450 --> 01:10:01,183
Revenge is... mine!
710
01:10:01,288 --> 01:10:03,256
Jack Swallows!
711
01:10:08,863 --> 01:10:12,959
Payback is a bitch, White Bitch!
712
01:10:13,067 --> 01:10:17,731
You owe me your soul,
Jack Swallows, and it's time to pay up!
713
01:10:53,507 --> 01:10:56,635
Oh!
She's blinded me, matey!
714
01:11:06,220 --> 01:11:08,188
Oh, bugger!
715
01:11:10,190 --> 01:11:11,953
What a tool.
716
01:11:15,596 --> 01:11:17,496
Show them no mercy.
717
01:12:06,780 --> 01:12:10,181
Take that, Kumar!
Huh!
718
01:12:23,230 --> 01:12:26,927
No!
719
01:12:36,443 --> 01:12:38,604
Oh, yes.
720
01:12:41,215 --> 01:12:44,048
Yes, that's right.
Grovel.
721
01:12:46,153 --> 01:12:50,453
Just like your parents did
before I killed them.
722
01:13:06,740 --> 01:13:09,274
Wow. Let's slow things down
for a better look.
723
01:13:20,821 --> 01:13:22,482
Ah.
724
01:13:22,589 --> 01:13:23,988
Oh! Oh, dear.
725
01:13:27,661 --> 01:13:32,064
Oh, that's-
That-That is dis-
726
01:13:40,541 --> 01:13:42,441
Oh.
727
01:14:09,770 --> 01:14:12,500
Ooh!
728
01:14:22,883 --> 01:14:25,784
Let's get 'em!
729
01:15:14,768 --> 01:15:17,066
Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this.
730
01:15:39,660 --> 01:15:42,390
It's the crystal!
731
01:15:42,496 --> 01:15:45,260
- We're all gonna die!
- We're all gonna die!
732
01:15:46,567 --> 01:15:49,400
Give me the remote control.
733
01:15:55,375 --> 01:15:58,469
Yes!
734
01:16:04,651 --> 01:16:09,054
No, stop.
We will not stoop to her level.
735
01:16:10,190 --> 01:16:12,715
I hate those fuckin' kids.
736
01:16:12,826 --> 01:16:15,693
The new Gnarnia
will be a democracy...
737
01:16:15,796 --> 01:16:18,356
complete with due process.
738
01:16:18,465 --> 01:16:22,629
She shall be given a fair trial,
judged by a jury of her peers.
739
01:16:22,736 --> 01:16:26,331
Sorry, Bitch.
740
01:16:28,709 --> 01:16:31,610
Right.
741
01:16:31,712 --> 01:16:33,976
Oh, screw her anyway.
742
01:16:35,849 --> 01:16:38,511
Make a beaver a hole.
Get your butt out of my face.
743
01:16:38,619 --> 01:16:40,951
Hot, moist beaver comin' through.
744
01:16:41,054 --> 01:16:44,148
May I present
the kings and queens of Gnarnia!
745
01:16:44,258 --> 01:16:47,694
Peter the Heroic.
746
01:16:47,794 --> 01:16:50,422
Susan the Just.
747
01:16:50,530 --> 01:16:53,090
Edward the Loyal.
748
01:16:53,200 --> 01:16:57,432
And Lucy the Dumb Shit.
749
01:16:57,537 --> 01:16:59,505
All hail!
750
01:17:29,736 --> 01:17:33,866
And so it was
that Peter, Susan, Edward and Lucy...
751
01:17:33,974 --> 01:17:36,841
restored peace to Gnarnia.
752
01:17:36,943 --> 01:17:41,937
They were orphans no more.
They were now a family.
753
01:17:43,216 --> 01:17:47,152
They ruled Gnarnia
for many years to come.
754
01:17:47,254 --> 01:17:50,746
That is, until they found
the wardrobe once again.
755
01:17:50,857 --> 01:17:52,757
Let's cross streams.
756
01:18:01,601 --> 01:18:03,501
There we go.
757
01:18:03,603 --> 01:18:05,867
Oops!
A little bit of blood.
758
01:18:18,285 --> 01:18:20,185
It's-
759
01:18:23,690 --> 01:18:27,626
- It's the wardrobe.
- It's been so long.
760
01:18:27,728 --> 01:18:29,889
It's been so long.
761
01:18:31,131 --> 01:18:34,100
Chuck Norris rules.
762
01:19:14,508 --> 01:19:16,976
We're young again!
763
01:19:18,745 --> 01:19:21,179
Jagshemash!
764
01:19:21,281 --> 01:19:25,741
You did it!
You make movie film have happy ending.
765
01:19:28,355 --> 01:19:29,982
Not!
766
01:21:01,848 --> 01:21:03,782
Oh, my-
767
01:21:08,154 --> 01:21:11,555
- Let us out, freak!
- No can do.
768
01:21:11,658 --> 01:21:13,717
I-
769
01:21:16,897 --> 01:21:22,733
No.
Captain Jack Swallows!
770
01:21:22,836 --> 01:21:26,795
Captain Jack Swallows!
771
01:21:26,907 --> 01:21:29,705
- Shit. Swallowing!
- Cut.
772
01:21:29,809 --> 01:21:33,768
No!
Captain Jack Swallows!
773
01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:36,644
Sorry.
774
01:21:36,750 --> 01:21:40,550
Wait. Can I ask you
something about the sucking?
775
01:21:40,654 --> 01:21:42,884
Am I-
776
01:21:42,989 --> 01:21:45,514
Am I, like, sucking the chrome off,
or is it-
777
01:21:45,625 --> 01:21:47,525
- Yeah.
- I mean- Okay.
778
01:21:47,627 --> 01:21:49,788
Here we go.
779
01:21:52,465 --> 01:21:55,457
Oh! Hey!
780
01:21:55,569 --> 01:21:58,538
Mmm. Mmm!
781
01:21:58,638 --> 01:22:01,664
Well, guess what.
782
01:22:01,775 --> 01:22:04,141
- What?
- Guess what.
783
01:22:04,244 --> 01:22:07,509
First-
784
01:22:07,614 --> 01:22:09,980
Mi, mi, mi, mi,
mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi!
785
01:22:10,083 --> 01:22:13,450
When I'm makin' you stuff,
quit cryin' and eat it!
786
01:22:13,553 --> 01:22:16,647
Your mother ate it!
She liked it. It was fine.
787
01:22:29,669 --> 01:22:32,001
- Where did I hit him? I hit him on the head.
- Cut!
788
01:22:38,578 --> 01:22:40,546
Shit.
789
01:22:45,452 --> 01:22:48,080
We'll stand behind you, Peter.
790
01:22:48,188 --> 01:22:50,884
That bitch has threatened
our way of life-
791
01:22:50,991 --> 01:22:54,017
Our mutant-
Shit. Sorry. Bollocks.
792
01:22:54,127 --> 01:22:56,459
She shall be given a fair trial...
793
01:22:56,563 --> 01:22:59,794
judged by a jury of her peers.
794
01:22:59,899 --> 01:23:02,333
We shall build a courthouse...
795
01:23:02,435 --> 01:23:05,802
with crushed velvet drapes
and ample parking.
796
01:23:07,407 --> 01:23:09,375
I'm so hot.
797
01:23:12,679 --> 01:23:15,807
Oh, my gosh. I passed the yellow line.
I just don't see it.
798
01:23:15,915 --> 01:23:20,682
Li-man-
half lion, half man.
799
01:23:20,787 --> 01:23:22,687
So you mean you're-
800
01:23:22,789 --> 01:23:24,814
My mom went to a party
at Siegfried and Roy's.
801
01:23:24,924 --> 01:23:28,485
She got drunk, and then
it was her turn in the barrel.
802
01:23:28,595 --> 01:23:30,495
It's a brutal game.
803
01:23:30,597 --> 01:23:33,566
Justice shall reign supreme...
804
01:23:33,667 --> 01:23:37,433
even for elves and fauns...
805
01:23:37,537 --> 01:23:40,995
albinos and the Irish.
806
01:23:48,948 --> 01:23:52,543
- I saw stripes!
- No! Man!
807
01:23:52,652 --> 01:23:56,110
We shall revolutionize
the health system.
808
01:23:56,222 --> 01:23:58,588
There will be no more
teenage pregnancies...
809
01:23:58,692 --> 01:24:01,058
without my consent...
810
01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:03,095
and without their consent.
811
01:24:03,196 --> 01:24:06,256
I shouldn't have had sex with Shrek!
812
01:24:06,366 --> 01:24:10,826
Like it or not, we're all in-
813
01:24:10,937 --> 01:24:14,100
- You okay?
- No. But go ahead.
814
01:24:14,207 --> 01:24:17,108
- Like it or not, we're all in this.
- Like it or not-
815
01:24:17,210 --> 01:24:19,110
- Oh, I can't even do it now.
- Let's do it.
816
01:24:19,212 --> 01:24:23,239
Damn that Shrek!
He said he wasn't a carrier.
817
01:24:23,349 --> 01:24:27,547
Because, sweet tits,
we're four kids nobody would ever miss.
818
01:24:27,654 --> 01:24:29,952
We'll be stuck here
till we dizz-i rizz-i.
819
01:24:34,060 --> 01:24:35,994
Don't t-zelle me what to d-zoo!
820
01:24:36,096 --> 01:24:38,621
The White Bitch is no more.
821
01:24:38,732 --> 01:24:40,666
Now, we shall be queens.
822
01:24:40,767 --> 01:24:46,637
Last night, I had sex
with a unicorn. Nice!
823
01:24:46,740 --> 01:24:51,507
Hey, look.
It's Lindsay Lohan.
824
01:24:51,611 --> 01:24:53,670
I haven't got
enough left for Roseanne.
825
01:25:01,888 --> 01:25:04,152
- Oh. So I was supposed to- I supposed to fall?
- Cut it.
826
01:25:04,257 --> 01:25:06,157
- It's supposed to hit me, right?
- Yes.
827
01:25:07,594 --> 01:25:10,654
- Ooh!
- Cut!
828
01:25:10,764 --> 01:25:14,996
Oh. But I need something
about the others first.
829
01:25:15,101 --> 01:25:17,626
But first- Sorry.
Give me your hand.
830
01:25:19,205 --> 01:25:21,639
Oh, no!
831
01:25:21,741 --> 01:25:25,973
But kings need to boss
their subject's ship-What's the line?
832
01:25:26,079 --> 01:25:28,445
Yes.
833
01:25:28,548 --> 01:25:34,487
Bring me the others, and I'll crown you
the throne. Shit. Crown you what?
834
01:25:42,428 --> 01:25:45,226
I'm big.
I got big balls.
835
01:25:45,331 --> 01:25:47,595
See Epic Movie...
836
01:25:47,700 --> 01:25:51,796
or drunk Mel Gibson will hurt me.
837
01:25:51,905 --> 01:25:53,873
Not!
838
01:25:55,608 --> 01:25:57,803
you.
839
01:26:01,314 --> 01:26:03,714
So now you all seen my crib.
840
01:26:03,817 --> 01:26:06,047
So get the hell out- Oh!
57180
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