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All language subtitles for Christmas.Freak.2021.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-CMRG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,375 --> 00:00:38,375 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:57,671 --> 00:01:02,376 ? Santa's number one deer So the story goes ? 3 00:01:02,511 --> 00:01:07,649 ? The one that All the children know ? 4 00:01:07,783 --> 00:01:09,984 ? They know your nose ? 5 00:01:10,117 --> 00:01:13,454 ? It glows and glows ? 6 00:01:13,787 --> 00:01:15,924 ? Rudolph Rudolph Rudolph Rudolph ? 7 00:01:16,058 --> 00:01:23,165 ? Rudolph is A reindeer superhero ? 8 00:01:24,365 --> 00:01:28,870 ? Rudolph You're a reindeer superhero ? 9 00:01:29,004 --> 00:01:31,406 ? With your big red shiny nose ? 10 00:01:31,673 --> 00:01:36,545 ? Rudolph You're a reindeer Superhero ? 11 00:01:38,647 --> 00:01:41,617 ? But you know It didn't start that way ? 12 00:01:42,016 --> 00:01:45,387 ? All the other reindeer Wouldn't let him play ? 13 00:01:45,519 --> 00:01:47,221 ? They said you're too uncool ? 14 00:01:47,355 --> 00:01:49,323 ? Your nose is bright as day ? 15 00:01:49,623 --> 00:01:52,661 ? So Rudy packed his bags And then he ran away ? 16 00:01:52,793 --> 00:01:58,399 ? They say Rudolph You're a reindeer superzero ? 17 00:01:58,533 --> 00:02:01,036 ? With that big red shiny nose ? 18 00:02:01,403 --> 00:02:06,108 ? Rudolph You're a reindeer superzero ? 19 00:02:07,575 --> 00:02:11,112 ? Now with a misfit toy ? 20 00:02:11,447 --> 00:02:15,783 ? With the misfit boy ? 21 00:02:17,218 --> 00:02:20,521 ? Then one Christmas eve There came a really big snow ? 22 00:02:20,656 --> 00:02:22,557 ? Santa's sleigh wouldn't go ? 23 00:02:22,691 --> 00:02:26,093 ? The Christmas Town CEO Canceled Christmas and so ? 24 00:02:26,228 --> 00:02:28,063 ? The toys had nowhere to go ? 25 00:02:28,197 --> 00:02:34,370 ? But does anybody know About the light that glows ? 26 00:02:35,204 --> 00:02:38,439 ? Hey Santa What's that you say? ? 27 00:02:38,574 --> 00:02:41,777 ? You ain't got nobody Who can pull your sleigh ? 28 00:02:41,909 --> 00:02:45,479 ? You better think fast Don't let it get away ? 29 00:02:45,813 --> 00:02:49,016 ? Rudy's got a nose that glows And he can light your way ? 30 00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:53,055 ? Yeah Rudy got the need With his nose he could believe ? 31 00:02:53,187 --> 00:02:54,889 ? He kept The Christmas guarantee ? 32 00:02:55,022 --> 00:02:57,992 ? He was a hero indeed ? 33 00:02:58,127 --> 00:02:59,628 ? Check that out! ? 34 00:02:59,895 --> 00:03:03,665 ? Rudolph like a street flare Way up in the sky ? 35 00:03:03,799 --> 00:03:06,401 ? Yeah with his big Red shiny nose ? 36 00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:11,439 ? Rudolph You're a reindeer superhero ? 37 00:03:11,740 --> 00:03:14,209 ? Yeah That's how this story goes ? 38 00:03:30,625 --> 00:03:33,461 Christmas is the greatest, 39 00:03:33,594 --> 00:03:38,067 most perfect achievement in human history. 40 00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:42,671 Love in its purest form. 41 00:03:44,872 --> 00:03:49,677 I have dedicated my life to practicing Christmas. 42 00:03:58,753 --> 00:04:01,823 Christmas is an opportunity to give, 43 00:04:01,956 --> 00:04:04,492 expecting nothing in return. 44 00:04:14,235 --> 00:04:16,738 To paint a picture of our own worth. 45 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,311 All the other days are just gray. 46 00:04:27,949 --> 00:04:29,251 I hate gray. 47 00:04:30,485 --> 00:04:33,222 Christmas is cool. 48 00:04:34,456 --> 00:04:36,358 In this world, you're either cool, 49 00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:38,627 or you're not cool. You see that guy? 50 00:04:38,759 --> 00:04:39,995 He's cool. 51 00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:41,596 Super cool! 52 00:04:42,197 --> 00:04:43,298 Hey! 53 00:04:44,331 --> 00:04:45,901 We never really talked or anything, 54 00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:47,435 but we ride the same train. 55 00:04:47,769 --> 00:04:50,738 I try to be cool like him. I do everything I possibly can. 56 00:04:50,872 --> 00:04:53,942 I keep Christmas alive all year long. 57 00:04:54,074 --> 00:04:55,610 How cool is that? 58 00:04:58,178 --> 00:05:00,214 Christmas is not just a holida. 59 00:05:00,516 --> 00:05:02,184 It's a way of life, 60 00:05:02,317 --> 00:05:05,620 and a daily challenge to be perfect. 61 00:05:06,019 --> 00:05:09,257 As perfect as Christmas. 62 00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:13,562 I love everything about Christmas. 63 00:05:13,928 --> 00:05:16,430 I can't even wait for Christmas morning. 64 00:05:16,564 --> 00:05:18,199 I'm up at midnight. 65 00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:20,369 12:01, actually. 66 00:05:20,502 --> 00:05:23,038 Don't want to seem too eager. 67 00:05:32,646 --> 00:05:33,781 Perfect! 68 00:05:33,915 --> 00:05:36,217 I love the smell of Christmas. 69 00:05:36,350 --> 00:05:37,418 Cinnamon, 70 00:05:37,552 --> 00:05:39,521 fresh pine scent. 71 00:05:39,653 --> 00:05:41,589 Chestnuts roasting... 72 00:05:41,723 --> 00:05:44,293 ...ideally, and the colors. 73 00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:47,295 It's magic. 74 00:05:48,197 --> 00:05:50,665 That's all everybody wants, right? 75 00:05:51,031 --> 00:05:52,233 A little magic? 76 00:05:52,901 --> 00:05:55,737 To be happy. Have a perfect life. 77 00:05:55,870 --> 00:05:59,841 Lots of friends, community, family... 78 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:01,442 that loves you. 79 00:06:01,675 --> 00:06:04,045 Well, that's what Christmas does. 80 00:06:04,346 --> 00:06:07,014 Christmas colors are the happiest, 81 00:06:07,148 --> 00:06:10,919 because Christmas makes everyone happy. 82 00:06:11,552 --> 00:06:16,791 Christmas lights make any house the happiest house on the block. 83 00:06:18,492 --> 00:06:20,394 Look at that house. 84 00:06:20,528 --> 00:06:23,331 I bet whoever lives there has the happiest, 85 00:06:23,463 --> 00:06:26,634 most perfect life of anybody. 86 00:06:26,767 --> 00:06:29,236 You guessed it. It's my house. 87 00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:30,605 Winning! 88 00:06:31,339 --> 00:06:33,407 My mom's therapist thinks I'm weird. 89 00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:35,076 Everybody does. 90 00:06:35,642 --> 00:06:37,611 You're judging me right now, too. 91 00:06:37,978 --> 00:06:39,313 Don't deny it. 92 00:06:39,548 --> 00:06:42,182 You're making your mind up now that I'm not normal. 93 00:06:42,449 --> 00:06:44,551 That there's something wrong with me. 94 00:06:44,685 --> 00:06:46,453 Like, there's something wrong 95 00:06:46,586 --> 00:06:48,589 with wanting to live in a world with magic, 96 00:06:48,723 --> 00:06:52,093 and people are nice and don't hate you for being different. 97 00:06:52,461 --> 00:06:54,562 And for liking Christmas more than they do. 98 00:06:54,829 --> 00:06:57,132 Because this world needs Christmas. 99 00:06:57,264 --> 00:06:59,533 Serious Christmas every day. 100 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,536 Try telling that to a world of 12-25ers. 101 00:07:02,771 --> 00:07:06,307 Sometimes, it makes me wanna jump off a bridge. 102 00:07:07,007 --> 00:07:09,710 But I'm no George Bailey. I'm just a freak. 103 00:07:09,843 --> 00:07:11,146 A Christmas freak. 104 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:46,848 Merry Christmas! 105 00:07:46,982 --> 00:07:48,517 It's not Christmas! 106 00:07:49,216 --> 00:07:50,450 Weirdo. 107 00:07:50,718 --> 00:07:53,754 OMG. Romans are taking a census. 108 00:07:53,889 --> 00:07:56,156 They haven't invented change of address forms yet, 109 00:07:56,290 --> 00:07:58,125 so we have to go back to Bethlehem 110 00:07:58,259 --> 00:07:59,260 where we were born. 111 00:07:59,394 --> 00:08:01,663 Very inconvenient. I'm walking. 112 00:08:01,795 --> 00:08:04,399 My wife is pregnant. Technically I'm not the father, 113 00:08:04,531 --> 00:08:05,933 but I'm cool with it. 114 00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:07,802 Not like I'm going to abandon them on Christmas. 115 00:08:07,935 --> 00:08:10,471 That'd be the worst thing anybody could do on Christmas. 116 00:08:10,605 --> 00:08:12,039 We are a perfect family. 117 00:08:12,173 --> 00:08:14,442 Very modern, even though we live in ancient times. 118 00:08:15,677 --> 00:08:17,345 Rudy was always a strange boy. 119 00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:25,286 - Hi, Mom. - Where are you? 120 00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:28,924 I'm home, but you know that because you track my phone. 121 00:08:29,057 --> 00:08:31,359 My therapist says a mother never stops worrying. 122 00:08:31,492 --> 00:08:34,095 - Tell your therapist I'm 43. - He knows. 123 00:08:34,229 --> 00:08:36,431 He says that you're old enough to be much more 124 00:08:36,563 --> 00:08:38,165 considerate of my feelings. 125 00:08:38,899 --> 00:08:41,568 - He says you're very selfish. - He must be expensive. 126 00:08:41,702 --> 00:08:44,004 Rudy expects too much from people. 127 00:08:44,272 --> 00:08:46,206 He expects everyone to be good. 128 00:08:46,606 --> 00:08:48,076 I worry about him. 129 00:08:48,208 --> 00:08:50,611 That sort of thinking just leads to disappointment. 130 00:08:50,745 --> 00:08:52,447 What time will you be here? 131 00:08:52,813 --> 00:08:54,514 I have plans with friends today. 132 00:08:54,649 --> 00:08:56,749 You don't have friends. 133 00:08:57,152 --> 00:08:58,653 Thanks for reminding me. 134 00:08:58,787 --> 00:09:00,388 I think Rudy is kind of cool. 135 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:01,955 He's not cool. 136 00:09:02,090 --> 00:09:04,393 I guess a boy's best friend really is his mother. 137 00:09:04,525 --> 00:09:06,059 Oh, the line from Psycho. 138 00:09:06,193 --> 00:09:08,062 Very amusing, Rudy. Of course, 139 00:09:08,196 --> 00:09:11,298 Norman Bates' mother was dead. Is that what you'd prefer? 140 00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:14,269 - Rudy? - No. 141 00:09:14,403 --> 00:09:15,671 That wasn't convincing. 142 00:09:15,803 --> 00:09:17,706 My therapist will find that fascinating. 143 00:09:17,839 --> 00:09:19,808 You haven't met a girl, have you? 144 00:09:20,341 --> 00:09:21,610 You're my only girl. 145 00:09:21,743 --> 00:09:24,445 I like him. Not like, like him like him. 146 00:09:24,578 --> 00:09:26,447 I mean, kinda. 147 00:09:27,114 --> 00:09:28,182 He's different. 148 00:09:28,316 --> 00:09:30,786 I like him. He's cute. 149 00:09:31,986 --> 00:09:32,987 He's not cute. 150 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,021 You haven't forgotten about dinner? 151 00:09:35,155 --> 00:09:36,625 No, Mom. 152 00:09:36,758 --> 00:09:38,225 There's something different about you today. 153 00:09:38,359 --> 00:09:40,662 A mother can sense these thing. 154 00:09:40,794 --> 00:09:42,264 I hope I'm not picking up on 155 00:09:42,397 --> 00:09:44,799 another one of your annoying cries for help. 156 00:09:45,265 --> 00:09:47,902 My therapist says I'm an empat. 157 00:09:51,105 --> 00:09:52,407 Mom, 158 00:09:52,841 --> 00:09:55,275 do you remember the Christmas we gave away all my presents? 159 00:09:55,409 --> 00:09:58,413 Here we go again. I told you a million times, 160 00:09:58,546 --> 00:10:00,048 that was your father's idea. 161 00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:03,418 My therapist says you blame me. You don't, do you? 162 00:10:03,551 --> 00:10:05,552 That was our best Christmas. 163 00:10:06,086 --> 00:10:08,789 That was your father's last Christmas. 164 00:10:09,756 --> 00:10:11,758 "We have too many things," he said. 165 00:10:12,192 --> 00:10:15,196 He was right. Nobody cares about what's important. 166 00:10:15,529 --> 00:10:16,963 Nobody cares. 167 00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:18,633 You sound just like him. 168 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,903 - Do you forgive him? - He doesn't deserve forgivenes. 169 00:10:22,035 --> 00:10:25,105 That is not very Christmassy of you. 170 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,407 It's February, you idiot. 171 00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:27,708 Not Christmas. 172 00:10:28,176 --> 00:10:30,878 My therapist says you're broken. 173 00:10:31,011 --> 00:10:33,480 - Yeah. - That's why you're single. 174 00:10:33,615 --> 00:10:36,418 - You're single. - Grow up, Rudy. 175 00:10:39,921 --> 00:10:42,256 He's a dreamer. Like his father. 176 00:10:42,389 --> 00:10:45,460 My name is Luis Reyes. I work with Rudy in the kitchen. 177 00:10:45,594 --> 00:10:47,396 I don't talk to him. 178 00:10:47,961 --> 00:10:49,029 Hey, Luis. 179 00:10:50,131 --> 00:10:51,632 - That's cool. - I was pretty sure 180 00:10:51,765 --> 00:10:52,832 he liked me back. 181 00:10:53,134 --> 00:10:54,936 He never came out and said it, though. 182 00:10:55,302 --> 00:10:56,471 You know how guys are. 183 00:10:57,138 --> 00:11:00,641 He's not normal. I need normal. Abnormal can get you killed. 184 00:11:00,774 --> 00:11:02,976 He's weird. He's got no huevos. 185 00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:06,047 He lets everyone push him around. D�biles. 186 00:11:06,581 --> 00:11:08,349 I don't let nobody push me around. 187 00:11:08,482 --> 00:11:10,451 Luis! Zip it! 188 00:11:11,652 --> 00:11:13,621 Oh, I'm Clarice. 189 00:11:13,754 --> 00:11:15,757 I work with Rudy at Moonracer's. 190 00:11:15,889 --> 00:11:18,591 We sometimes look at each other when we're working. 191 00:11:18,725 --> 00:11:21,028 I look at him. We're busy. 192 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:24,032 He doesn't really have time to look at me. 193 00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:30,939 I saw him talking to a salt shaker one time. 194 00:11:31,072 --> 00:11:33,707 - ? I'm a misfit salt shaker ? - He was singing, 195 00:11:33,841 --> 00:11:35,442 ? I'm a misfit toy ? 196 00:11:35,576 --> 00:11:39,145 ? I'm a salt shaker with pepper I'm a pepper shaker with salt ? 197 00:11:39,279 --> 00:11:44,918 ? Life could be sweeter If I was sugar ? 198 00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:51,659 ? Instead I'm treated like I'm a booger ? 199 00:11:51,793 --> 00:11:54,895 ? Stuck on your finger Flick it on the wall ? 200 00:11:55,028 --> 00:11:56,998 ? Nobody wanted me at all ? 201 00:11:57,131 --> 00:11:59,032 It was cute. He's cute. 202 00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:01,503 He did something, right? Dude's all messed up, 203 00:12:01,635 --> 00:12:03,237 walking around singing "Merry Christmas" 204 00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:04,739 all the time. He's a freak. 205 00:12:04,871 --> 00:12:07,107 God knows I tried. 206 00:12:07,542 --> 00:12:09,777 I did everything a loving mother could. 207 00:12:09,910 --> 00:12:11,578 What did he do? He killed somebody? 208 00:12:11,711 --> 00:12:13,413 - He's incel, right? - He's not incel. 209 00:12:13,548 --> 00:12:15,448 It's always the mothers fault. 210 00:12:16,017 --> 00:12:19,220 I suffered from extreme anxiety when the surrogate was pregnant. 211 00:12:19,352 --> 00:12:22,089 They tell little boys, "Be tough, be hard. 212 00:12:22,224 --> 00:12:24,893 Be ready to fight. You want to be normal, don't you?" 213 00:12:25,025 --> 00:12:28,695 It's crazy! I think Rudy's the normal one. 214 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:30,298 He's not mean, 215 00:12:30,431 --> 00:12:33,533 and I don't blame him for liking Christmas so much. 216 00:12:33,668 --> 00:12:36,104 Nothing bad ever happens at Christmas. 217 00:12:38,807 --> 00:12:41,408 It's time to wake up, Rudy. Choo choo! 218 00:12:48,249 --> 00:12:51,252 Gotta get to Santa's workshop and make the toys. 219 00:13:25,318 --> 00:13:26,587 It's broke! 220 00:13:34,562 --> 00:13:36,831 Hey! What are you doing? 221 00:13:36,964 --> 00:13:39,100 You just gonna leave that there on the street? 222 00:13:46,974 --> 00:13:48,777 What about that other one? 223 00:13:48,909 --> 00:13:50,644 It falls on the ground, it's mine. 224 00:14:04,792 --> 00:14:06,661 Bye. 225 00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:12,933 He calls the facility "Santa's workshop," 226 00:14:13,067 --> 00:14:14,302 but it's called Moonracer's. 227 00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:17,971 And he calls the residents "Santa's elves." 228 00:14:18,206 --> 00:14:19,440 It's cute. 229 00:14:19,573 --> 00:14:21,442 And finally, today's word is forgiveness... 230 00:14:21,576 --> 00:14:25,013 This isn't what I ordered, and it needs salt. 231 00:14:27,148 --> 00:14:29,283 Thank you, dear, anyway. 232 00:14:29,417 --> 00:14:31,686 And Wednesday night is bingo night. 233 00:14:32,186 --> 00:14:33,888 He was right the first time. 234 00:14:34,254 --> 00:14:36,691 I forgot what I ordered. 235 00:14:44,599 --> 00:14:45,867 That's my tip! 236 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,234 Excuse me, did an elf drop this? 237 00:14:47,368 --> 00:14:49,504 - It was on the floor. - Ma'am, be cool! 238 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:52,574 Oh yes, I did lose that. Thank you, baby. 239 00:14:52,706 --> 00:14:58,746 Merry Christmas. Who here likes cookies? 240 00:15:06,787 --> 00:15:08,756 Heads up! Watch it, soldier. 241 00:15:08,889 --> 00:15:10,258 Sorry, I didn't see you. 242 00:15:10,390 --> 00:15:13,059 You came in the out door. That's the out door. 243 00:15:13,192 --> 00:15:14,595 Really? 244 00:15:14,729 --> 00:15:17,230 - But didn't I come in that door? - Yes. 245 00:15:17,365 --> 00:15:19,500 - And I'm the commanding officer? - Yes, sir. 246 00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:20,969 Then that's the in door. 247 00:15:21,101 --> 00:15:22,770 That isn't safe, sir. 248 00:15:22,903 --> 00:15:25,272 You know what else isn't safe? Attitude. 249 00:15:25,538 --> 00:15:27,040 You need an attitude adjustment? 250 00:15:27,173 --> 00:15:29,543 Because the enemy is all too willing to give you one. 251 00:15:29,844 --> 00:15:31,212 Enemy? 252 00:15:31,345 --> 00:15:33,915 Mickey, table six wants to know when bingo starts. 253 00:15:34,048 --> 00:15:36,083 Bingo is on Wednesdays. Did you tell them that? 254 00:15:36,216 --> 00:15:37,785 - No. - Could you do that? 255 00:15:37,918 --> 00:15:39,620 They want to talk to a manager. 256 00:15:39,754 --> 00:15:41,322 Right there, attitude. You see that? 257 00:15:41,456 --> 00:15:43,456 You deflected. That was deflection. 258 00:15:43,857 --> 00:15:45,392 You gotta take ownership, Clarice. 259 00:15:45,525 --> 00:15:48,027 The war is already over unless you take ownership. 260 00:15:48,261 --> 00:15:50,630 This guy may be full-on section eight, 261 00:15:50,764 --> 00:15:52,566 but at least he owns it. 262 00:15:52,899 --> 00:15:55,403 Now go tell table six I'm busy. 263 00:15:55,803 --> 00:15:58,839 I've got one guy around here living in the real world. 264 00:15:58,972 --> 00:16:00,974 Does his job, got his head on straight. 265 00:16:01,107 --> 00:16:03,644 - Never leaves the field early. - Stop, grandpa! 266 00:16:03,778 --> 00:16:05,512 I ain't touching that. I'm not here. 267 00:16:05,645 --> 00:16:08,415 - You don't feel me... - Sticky pendejo. 268 00:16:08,548 --> 00:16:10,851 Sorry, boss. There's something sticky out there. 269 00:16:10,985 --> 00:16:12,753 It's on the floor. It's on tables. 270 00:16:13,053 --> 00:16:15,255 Old people are sticky. You ever notice that? 271 00:16:15,389 --> 00:16:17,625 - You love sticky. - No I don't. 272 00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:19,860 - Just clean it up. - Make him do it. 273 00:16:19,994 --> 00:16:22,096 I hired you to clean up after the residents. 274 00:16:22,229 --> 00:16:24,432 You wanna do what I hired you to do, don't you? 275 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:25,932 - It's nasty. - Say it. 276 00:16:26,066 --> 00:16:29,202 - Say I want to do it. - I don't want to do it. 277 00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:31,538 - I wanna do it. - Of course you do. 278 00:16:31,672 --> 00:16:34,609 And I will provide you the opportunity to succeed. 279 00:16:35,009 --> 00:16:37,411 Just bring the right food to the right people. 280 00:16:37,544 --> 00:16:39,079 It's not rocket science. 281 00:16:39,214 --> 00:16:40,915 He did. She forgot what she order... 282 00:16:41,048 --> 00:16:43,283 Attitude! Right there. 283 00:16:45,285 --> 00:16:48,122 Those dishes aren't gonna wash themselves, soldier. 284 00:16:49,490 --> 00:16:52,192 I'm off work now. I'm supposed to go help my mom. 285 00:16:52,326 --> 00:16:54,195 Ain't no mommy's on this team. 286 00:16:54,428 --> 00:16:55,596 Just a daddy. 287 00:16:56,397 --> 00:16:59,233 Mr. Buchenwald, what seems to be the trouble? 288 00:16:59,365 --> 00:17:01,936 Please, move along! 289 00:17:08,542 --> 00:17:09,576 I... 290 00:17:10,944 --> 00:17:14,248 I was going to give this to you on the actual Valentine's Day, 291 00:17:14,382 --> 00:17:16,384 but you probably won't be here 292 00:17:16,517 --> 00:17:19,487 because you're probably going to get fired. 293 00:17:48,015 --> 00:17:50,251 I wish I was that cool. 294 00:18:10,538 --> 00:18:12,874 I admit the Christmas thing is pretty high 295 00:18:13,007 --> 00:18:14,709 on the OCD scale. 296 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,710 And I think he's got a pretty active, 297 00:18:16,844 --> 00:18:18,913 you know, inner monologue. 298 00:18:19,279 --> 00:18:21,816 That's why I made these videos and sent them to you. 299 00:18:21,950 --> 00:18:23,984 I want other people to see what I see. 300 00:18:24,117 --> 00:18:27,120 - So you were... - I wasn't stalking him. 301 00:18:28,955 --> 00:18:30,123 Who we talking about? 302 00:18:30,258 --> 00:18:31,959 We're talking about Rudy Rotnase. 303 00:18:32,093 --> 00:18:33,961 Why are we talking about Rudy? 304 00:18:34,295 --> 00:18:36,263 - Has he died? - No. No. 305 00:18:36,396 --> 00:18:38,531 Would you say Rudy is a cool guy? 306 00:18:38,665 --> 00:18:40,367 What do you mean by cool? 307 00:18:41,169 --> 00:18:42,537 Okay. 308 00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:44,105 When Rudy was a little boy, 309 00:18:44,238 --> 00:18:46,374 I used to dress him up in all these little outfits 310 00:18:46,507 --> 00:18:48,409 for all the different holidays. 311 00:18:48,675 --> 00:18:50,711 It was absolutely adorable. 312 00:18:51,011 --> 00:18:53,681 All the kids in school were very jealous. 313 00:18:53,913 --> 00:18:54,948 Funny story. 314 00:18:55,249 --> 00:18:57,183 He used to always cry and say, 315 00:18:57,317 --> 00:19:00,921 "Mommy, they're gonna beat me up. Again." 316 00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:04,458 Can you imagine? 317 00:19:04,590 --> 00:19:05,959 Is Rudy popular? 318 00:19:06,093 --> 00:19:08,896 Popular? I don't know about that. Tell you what I do know. 319 00:19:09,163 --> 00:19:11,065 That old biddy who lives next door to me 320 00:19:11,199 --> 00:19:13,234 has ten cats in her apartment, 321 00:19:13,366 --> 00:19:15,068 and it stinks to high hell. 322 00:19:15,201 --> 00:19:17,372 You wanna do a video, do a video on that. 323 00:19:24,979 --> 00:19:26,381 Whatever. 324 00:19:28,715 --> 00:19:30,183 What are you doing? 325 00:19:30,851 --> 00:19:33,053 Hi. Merry Christmas. 326 00:19:33,452 --> 00:19:37,557 I love this song. Don't you just love this song? 327 00:19:38,326 --> 00:19:41,495 Did you know there's a movie about the Vienna Boys Choir? 328 00:19:41,628 --> 00:19:45,031 It's a Disney movie, and it isn't about Christmas. 329 00:19:45,165 --> 00:19:46,666 - Weird, huh? - No. 330 00:19:46,799 --> 00:19:49,537 They sing a lot of traditional Christmas songs in it 331 00:19:49,670 --> 00:19:51,239 which makes it better. 332 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,308 Kind of cold out, am I right? 333 00:19:54,741 --> 00:19:56,042 Yeah. 334 00:19:56,175 --> 00:19:58,778 Seems more Christmassy when it's cold, so. 335 00:19:59,046 --> 00:20:00,280 Yeah, right. 336 00:20:00,414 --> 00:20:02,449 Personally, I don't mind if it's cold out. 337 00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:04,552 I mean, you can have Christmas when it's hot 338 00:20:04,685 --> 00:20:06,886 like they have Christmas on the equator. 339 00:20:07,121 --> 00:20:09,757 They probably have Christmas in Saudi Arabia. 340 00:20:10,022 --> 00:20:11,625 Well, they should. 341 00:20:11,759 --> 00:20:14,562 But when it's cold out, it just makes Christmas seem more... 342 00:20:15,162 --> 00:20:16,197 real. 343 00:20:16,463 --> 00:20:20,200 Oh, okay. Well, hey, Merry Christmas. 344 00:20:20,334 --> 00:20:21,568 It's not Christmas. 345 00:20:21,701 --> 00:20:23,636 Somebody needs an attitude adjustment. 346 00:20:24,003 --> 00:20:25,238 What did you say? 347 00:20:25,472 --> 00:20:27,841 Merry Christmas, anyway. 348 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,578 What is his deal with Christmas? 349 00:20:30,711 --> 00:20:32,011 I like Christmas. 350 00:20:32,145 --> 00:20:33,947 In December. When it's Christmas. 351 00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:36,684 My neighbors leave their Christmas lights up all year. 352 00:20:36,817 --> 00:20:38,519 They don't turn them on all year. They're just too lazy 353 00:20:38,653 --> 00:20:40,421 to take them down when you're supposed to. 354 00:20:41,021 --> 00:20:43,089 I take mine down right at New Year's. 355 00:20:43,222 --> 00:20:44,692 This is America. 356 00:20:44,825 --> 00:20:46,294 That's how we do things. 357 00:21:13,854 --> 00:21:17,191 Welcome to Bethlehem, baby Jesus. 358 00:21:17,525 --> 00:21:20,761 We're here to say Happy birthday to you. 359 00:21:20,894 --> 00:21:23,431 14.99? 360 00:21:37,978 --> 00:21:38,980 Hi. 361 00:21:39,113 --> 00:21:41,414 Oh, I didn't see you. 362 00:21:42,316 --> 00:21:43,817 - What are you doing here? - Umm... 363 00:21:43,951 --> 00:21:46,854 I was at the Dollar Tree and I saw you come over here. 364 00:21:46,987 --> 00:21:48,221 You followed me? 365 00:21:48,923 --> 00:21:50,758 - Sorry. - Oh, that's okay. 366 00:21:51,692 --> 00:21:53,126 I like this store. 367 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:55,061 Yeah. It's cool. 368 00:21:57,064 --> 00:21:59,200 - I come here sometimes. - Really? 369 00:22:00,099 --> 00:22:01,100 Were you videoing me? 370 00:22:01,233 --> 00:22:03,103 Not really. 371 00:22:04,037 --> 00:22:05,338 Yeah. 372 00:22:07,575 --> 00:22:10,076 I better go. I'm supposed to help my mom. 373 00:22:10,211 --> 00:22:12,313 - What's wrong with her? - She's in therapy. 374 00:22:12,445 --> 00:22:14,647 I'm going to help her move some furniture. 375 00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:16,884 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas. 376 00:22:17,017 --> 00:22:19,620 I went to a Christmas party one time in July. 377 00:22:19,753 --> 00:22:21,221 It was weird. 378 00:22:22,056 --> 00:22:23,391 It was fun, though. 379 00:22:23,790 --> 00:22:25,893 Clean up on the Christmas Aisle. 380 00:22:37,738 --> 00:22:38,872 You want a ride? 381 00:22:39,306 --> 00:22:40,641 I have a car. 382 00:22:41,842 --> 00:22:43,111 I see that. 383 00:22:44,010 --> 00:22:46,114 I can give you a ride home. 384 00:22:49,416 --> 00:22:52,886 It's okay, really. I get good gas mileage. 385 00:23:09,135 --> 00:23:10,369 Do you want music? 386 00:23:10,636 --> 00:23:13,374 You can play whatever kind of music you like. 387 00:23:23,017 --> 00:23:25,419 You really like Christmas. 388 00:23:42,536 --> 00:23:45,572 - Wow. Is this your house? - Yeah. 389 00:23:45,705 --> 00:23:48,509 You really, really like Christmas. 390 00:23:48,642 --> 00:23:51,746 Isn't it just so beautiful? 391 00:23:51,878 --> 00:23:52,913 It's cool. 392 00:23:54,048 --> 00:23:56,383 - You think so? - Uh-huh. 393 00:23:57,017 --> 00:23:58,952 What's it like inside? 394 00:24:02,455 --> 00:24:05,725 Wow! 395 00:24:08,762 --> 00:24:10,263 Are you gonna make fun of me? 396 00:24:10,396 --> 00:24:12,832 For what? I like your tree! 397 00:24:13,333 --> 00:24:14,935 - It's cool. - It's artificial. 398 00:24:15,067 --> 00:24:16,135 It is? 399 00:24:16,369 --> 00:24:18,304 Easy to take care of, though, huh? 400 00:24:18,538 --> 00:24:21,275 You don't have to take care of it. It never dies. 401 00:24:21,875 --> 00:24:22,777 Really? 402 00:24:24,076 --> 00:24:25,346 Who's this? 403 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,014 This is Prancer. 404 00:24:28,147 --> 00:24:31,284 Hi, Prancer. You look so cute with your little antlers. 405 00:24:31,684 --> 00:24:35,087 - Wanna try my cat ears? - Prancer likes being a reindeer. 406 00:24:35,221 --> 00:24:37,391 Right. Like, with Santa Claus. 407 00:24:37,523 --> 00:24:39,826 - There's Dasher, and Dancer. - And Prancer. 408 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:43,029 - And Vixen. - Comet, and Cupid, and Donner. 409 00:24:43,163 --> 00:24:45,598 - And Blitzen, and you. - Me? 410 00:24:46,066 --> 00:24:48,468 - Rudolph. - I identify more with Hermie. 411 00:24:48,602 --> 00:24:49,836 You wanna be a dentist? 412 00:24:49,970 --> 00:24:51,738 You know the Rankin and Bass classic? 413 00:24:51,872 --> 00:24:53,974 She knows the Rankin and Bass classic. 414 00:24:54,107 --> 00:24:56,309 Everybody knows "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer." 415 00:24:56,442 --> 00:24:58,478 - It's "nosed." - What? 416 00:24:58,612 --> 00:25:00,581 You said "nose." It's "nosed." 417 00:25:00,714 --> 00:25:04,183 - "Red-nosed," with a hyphen. - I thought it was "nose." 418 00:25:04,317 --> 00:25:05,551 It's "nosed." 419 00:25:06,420 --> 00:25:08,656 - You want a Christmas cookie? - Sure. 420 00:25:09,789 --> 00:25:11,791 I just baked them. 421 00:25:11,924 --> 00:25:13,661 Thank you. 422 00:25:15,663 --> 00:25:16,930 Delicious. 423 00:25:17,064 --> 00:25:19,400 I've never had a guest here before. 424 00:25:19,532 --> 00:25:21,033 Really? Why? 425 00:25:21,167 --> 00:25:23,536 Most people think I should put my Christmas things away 426 00:25:23,670 --> 00:25:25,605 after December 25. 427 00:25:25,940 --> 00:25:27,974 I don't. I like it. 428 00:25:28,208 --> 00:25:29,477 You should have a party. 429 00:25:29,609 --> 00:25:31,544 It'd be cool because it's not Christmas, 430 00:25:31,679 --> 00:25:33,513 except for it is, here. 431 00:25:33,881 --> 00:25:35,983 I guess it's always Christmas here. 432 00:25:36,115 --> 00:25:37,317 It's funny. 433 00:25:38,451 --> 00:25:39,886 I think it's cute. 434 00:25:40,886 --> 00:25:42,522 You're cute. 435 00:25:43,691 --> 00:25:48,296 She thinks I'm cute! 436 00:25:58,204 --> 00:25:59,539 It's your mom. 437 00:26:01,842 --> 00:26:02,877 Oh. 438 00:26:05,612 --> 00:26:06,846 It's my mom. 439 00:26:07,580 --> 00:26:08,848 You'd better get it. 440 00:26:10,115 --> 00:26:12,052 Hello? Mom? 441 00:26:12,987 --> 00:26:14,455 Yes, I'm on my way. 442 00:26:14,888 --> 00:26:15,855 I have to go. 443 00:26:15,990 --> 00:26:17,424 My mom likes for me 444 00:26:17,557 --> 00:26:19,291 to redecorate her house for her pretty frequently. 445 00:26:19,592 --> 00:26:21,127 If I had a house, 446 00:26:21,260 --> 00:26:23,763 you'd be the very first one I'd ask to help me decorate. 447 00:26:23,896 --> 00:26:26,165 Especially Christmas decorating. 448 00:26:26,299 --> 00:26:28,402 It's not Christmas for my mom. 449 00:26:28,536 --> 00:26:32,038 No, I was just saying. I mean, it's February. 450 00:26:32,506 --> 00:26:34,008 I know it's February. 451 00:26:34,141 --> 00:26:37,044 People always tell me what month it is all the time. 452 00:26:37,277 --> 00:26:40,014 I can help you rearrange your mom's furniture. 453 00:26:40,547 --> 00:26:41,648 If you want. 454 00:26:41,780 --> 00:26:44,050 I have nothing better to do. 455 00:27:23,990 --> 00:27:25,893 It doesn't look too cluttered, does it? 456 00:27:26,026 --> 00:27:28,394 I don't like it to look like I have too many things. 457 00:27:28,528 --> 00:27:30,529 It looks a lot like it did before. 458 00:27:30,663 --> 00:27:32,198 Very spacious. 459 00:27:32,332 --> 00:27:33,567 Well, thank you, Clarice. 460 00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:35,602 - Are you dating my son? - We should go. 461 00:27:35,736 --> 00:27:37,137 - Yeah. - Well, think about it. 462 00:27:37,269 --> 00:27:39,673 You'd be his first. He's got that new car smell. 463 00:27:39,806 --> 00:27:42,476 And don't let his eccentricities put you off, dear. 464 00:27:42,608 --> 00:27:44,110 My therapist says he's harmless. 465 00:27:44,243 --> 00:27:46,779 - Probably. - Thanks, Mom. Merry Christmas. 466 00:27:46,913 --> 00:27:49,115 That's one of the eccentricities I was talking about. 467 00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:52,018 It's always Christmas with him. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. 468 00:27:52,152 --> 00:27:54,889 He won't even think about other holidays. I tried. 469 00:27:55,021 --> 00:27:57,456 Well, Happy Valentine's Day. 470 00:27:57,590 --> 00:27:59,659 You see Rudy? Valentine's! 471 00:27:59,792 --> 00:28:02,128 - I like her. - Thanks, Mom. See you later. 472 00:28:02,261 --> 00:28:03,797 Come on, Clarice. 473 00:28:03,931 --> 00:28:06,466 Run along, you two. It's very nice to meet you, Clarice. 474 00:28:06,599 --> 00:28:09,702 Rudy, don't screw this up. Ixnay on the Christmas, 'kay? 475 00:28:09,836 --> 00:28:11,337 Pig Latin. 476 00:28:11,471 --> 00:28:13,507 Maybe you can get to the bottom of this Christmas fetish. 477 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,276 My therapist calls it a fetish. His father left at Christmas. 478 00:28:16,410 --> 00:28:18,378 I would never want to think about Christmas ever again. 479 00:28:18,510 --> 00:28:19,645 In fact I don't. 480 00:28:19,779 --> 00:28:20,814 What's Christmas? Never heard of it. 481 00:28:22,347 --> 00:28:24,917 Rudy, don't forget about dinner. You're pretty, Clarice. 482 00:28:25,050 --> 00:28:26,086 Thin! 483 00:28:28,821 --> 00:28:30,890 Cat ears. 484 00:28:38,265 --> 00:28:40,234 So, that was your mom? 485 00:28:40,634 --> 00:28:41,867 Yep. 486 00:28:42,402 --> 00:28:44,269 She, she seems nice. 487 00:28:44,671 --> 00:28:46,841 You don't really look like her, though. 488 00:28:48,041 --> 00:28:49,175 She's adopted. 489 00:28:49,876 --> 00:28:50,911 Oh. 490 00:28:53,212 --> 00:28:54,248 Okay. 491 00:28:57,750 --> 00:28:59,252 You're different. 492 00:28:59,586 --> 00:29:01,355 - I am? - You're cool. 493 00:29:01,489 --> 00:29:03,723 I like how you go against the grain. 494 00:29:03,856 --> 00:29:05,692 Always go against the grain. 495 00:29:06,425 --> 00:29:10,062 - That's what Negan told Carl. - Negan wasn't cool. 496 00:29:10,296 --> 00:29:11,664 Or Christmassy. 497 00:29:12,266 --> 00:29:15,669 Christmas is the first to go during a zombie apocalypse. 498 00:29:15,970 --> 00:29:19,072 Without Christmas, humanity is doomed. 499 00:29:19,204 --> 00:29:20,573 Scary. 500 00:29:21,273 --> 00:29:24,410 Isn't there an episode where they have Christmas for Carl? 501 00:29:24,744 --> 00:29:27,548 Christmas isn't an episode, it's a feeling. 502 00:29:27,914 --> 00:29:30,983 Like, Jesus is the reason for the season. 503 00:29:31,117 --> 00:29:32,919 That's more of a bumper sticker. 504 00:29:33,053 --> 00:29:34,855 My mom has that on a sweatshirt. 505 00:29:34,988 --> 00:29:37,423 She wears it whenever she's making the turkey. 506 00:29:38,125 --> 00:29:40,994 - It has turkey stains on it. - I like turkey. 507 00:29:42,128 --> 00:29:44,597 Is that why you feel Christmas so deeply? 508 00:29:44,730 --> 00:29:46,133 Because turkey? 509 00:29:46,432 --> 00:29:48,969 - Jesus. - I'm not religious. 510 00:29:49,102 --> 00:29:50,236 Me neither. 511 00:29:50,537 --> 00:29:53,240 There are some really good Christian Christmas stories. 512 00:29:56,276 --> 00:29:59,312 - Can I ask you a question? - Okay. 513 00:30:00,145 --> 00:30:03,082 - It's February. - We already established that. 514 00:30:03,217 --> 00:30:06,953 Sorry. I know you like Christmas and everything. Most people do. 515 00:30:07,086 --> 00:30:09,721 But most people don't have their house all decorated 516 00:30:09,855 --> 00:30:11,290 for Christmas in February. 517 00:30:11,424 --> 00:30:13,225 Why take down all the beautiful decorations? 518 00:30:13,359 --> 00:30:16,429 - 'Cause Christmas is over. - It's never over. 519 00:30:16,696 --> 00:30:19,298 Don't you want it to be special? Like, 520 00:30:19,699 --> 00:30:21,668 I love this pizza. 521 00:30:21,801 --> 00:30:24,837 But if I eat the same pizza every day, 522 00:30:24,971 --> 00:30:26,405 how can it be special? 523 00:30:26,538 --> 00:30:28,442 What if it's the best pizza? 524 00:30:28,942 --> 00:30:31,077 And you eat it in the best place? 525 00:30:31,211 --> 00:30:32,211 With your best... 526 00:30:32,346 --> 00:30:33,614 friend. 527 00:30:33,747 --> 00:30:35,515 I guess that's pretty special. 528 00:30:44,791 --> 00:30:46,925 - Oh. - I'm supposed to be at work. 529 00:30:47,059 --> 00:30:49,128 I have to pick up Luis' shift. 530 00:30:51,030 --> 00:30:52,966 I could give you a ride. 531 00:30:53,700 --> 00:30:55,102 That would be cool. 532 00:30:58,003 --> 00:31:00,105 You smell like candy canes. 533 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:01,674 Thanks. 534 00:31:07,614 --> 00:31:09,482 Rudy has never had a girlfriend. 535 00:31:09,883 --> 00:31:11,317 My therapist thought he was gay. 536 00:31:11,451 --> 00:31:15,623 Clarice? She's hot. She's a woman. I like women. 537 00:31:16,056 --> 00:31:16,756 Women! 538 00:31:17,523 --> 00:31:20,960 He's different. Different is not what you want on your team. 539 00:31:21,862 --> 00:31:23,330 I'm going to have to fire him. 540 00:31:23,462 --> 00:31:24,964 You leave Rudy alone. 541 00:31:25,097 --> 00:31:28,101 If you do not leave Rudy alone, you will be sorry, 542 00:31:28,234 --> 00:31:30,069 and I will talk to the manager. 543 00:31:32,338 --> 00:31:34,374 Clarice is very quiet. 544 00:31:34,740 --> 00:31:36,009 My therapist will say, 545 00:31:36,143 --> 00:31:38,377 "Rudy ought to prefer a stronger woman." 546 00:31:38,510 --> 00:31:39,879 But at this point, frankly, 547 00:31:40,012 --> 00:31:42,214 I'm surprised he's brought home a live human. 548 00:31:42,348 --> 00:31:44,850 And not a snowman or a cinnamon bear. 549 00:31:44,984 --> 00:31:46,986 We ate pizza in the cemetery. 550 00:31:47,319 --> 00:31:49,888 It was wonderful. 551 00:31:53,926 --> 00:31:55,894 Nobody ever kissed me before. 552 00:31:56,128 --> 00:31:59,132 I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything. 553 00:32:31,597 --> 00:32:33,532 When do you think was the exact moment 554 00:32:33,665 --> 00:32:35,167 that Ebenezer changed his heart? 555 00:32:35,301 --> 00:32:38,670 When he was remembering his life or when he saw his death? 556 00:32:38,805 --> 00:32:40,006 Hmm? 557 00:32:40,405 --> 00:32:41,442 Never mind. 558 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:47,980 Just like everybody else. 559 00:32:51,651 --> 00:32:54,188 Oh, yeah. Scrooge, duh! 560 00:33:16,308 --> 00:33:18,177 I wish I was cool. 561 00:33:21,381 --> 00:33:22,516 I wish I was cool. 562 00:33:24,785 --> 00:33:27,086 Merry Christmas. 563 00:33:27,987 --> 00:33:30,323 Oh, really? 564 00:33:30,856 --> 00:33:32,224 I wasn't expecting that. 565 00:33:32,357 --> 00:33:34,193 - People don't usually... - Super cool guy here. 566 00:33:34,327 --> 00:33:36,663 - Not just my opinion. - For sure. 567 00:33:36,797 --> 00:33:38,865 You probably noticed my cool clothes. 568 00:33:38,999 --> 00:33:40,733 Literally everything is a cool brand. 569 00:33:40,866 --> 00:33:44,704 Anthropologie, Aeropostale, old school magic sizzle. 570 00:33:44,837 --> 00:33:47,507 - I mean, you look amazing. - I know. 571 00:33:47,641 --> 00:33:49,042 Also, I do super cool things, 572 00:33:49,174 --> 00:33:51,711 like kayaking and grownup dodgeball. 573 00:33:51,845 --> 00:33:54,047 - I can't even. - Can't even with what? 574 00:33:54,181 --> 00:33:57,517 Exactly! And I use phrases like that with total confidence. 575 00:33:57,650 --> 00:34:00,086 All. The. Time. 576 00:34:00,453 --> 00:34:02,288 You really are cool. 577 00:34:02,422 --> 00:34:03,923 Uh-uh. That's why I'm so popular. 578 00:34:04,057 --> 00:34:06,058 I encourage you to be the best, 579 00:34:06,192 --> 00:34:09,295 most authentic version of Rudy you can be. 580 00:34:09,695 --> 00:34:10,998 You know my name? 581 00:34:11,297 --> 00:34:13,298 I'm just as surprised as you are. 582 00:34:13,632 --> 00:34:17,202 - I must be special. - Is that your Christmas wish? 583 00:34:17,503 --> 00:34:18,670 To be special? 584 00:34:18,804 --> 00:34:20,272 What are you, millennial? 585 00:34:20,407 --> 00:34:23,142 I don't really know. I think I'm Gen X. 586 00:34:23,275 --> 00:34:24,476 Boomer. 587 00:34:24,610 --> 00:34:26,746 So Boomer, tell me. What is it you really want? 588 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:30,284 I kinda wish I was more popular. People don't really like me. 589 00:34:30,416 --> 00:34:33,786 I know. It's weird how truly unpopular you are. 590 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,821 Considering how much you love Christmas 591 00:34:35,954 --> 00:34:37,523 and keep it going all year. 592 00:34:37,923 --> 00:34:39,025 And the way you dress. 593 00:34:39,157 --> 00:34:40,793 - You know, like that. - Right? 594 00:34:40,927 --> 00:34:44,763 It must be something else about you that people hate. 595 00:34:44,896 --> 00:34:46,766 Hate? That's a strong word. 596 00:34:46,900 --> 00:34:49,068 - Seriously? - Fine. 597 00:34:49,668 --> 00:34:53,373 Well, don't jump off a bridge, if that's what you're thinking. 598 00:34:53,507 --> 00:34:55,008 Like George Bailey. 599 00:34:55,141 --> 00:34:57,909 - Have you tried just being you? - No. It doesn't work. 600 00:34:58,143 --> 00:34:59,645 It worked with Clarice. 601 00:34:59,778 --> 00:35:02,181 She'd probably think I was cool if I took up kayaking. 602 00:35:02,315 --> 00:35:05,318 It's not about kayaking. It's about what's in you. 603 00:35:05,452 --> 00:35:07,521 Isn't that your whole thing with Christmas? 604 00:35:07,653 --> 00:35:09,822 How it brings out the best in everyone? 605 00:35:09,956 --> 00:35:11,490 That's all you gotta do. 606 00:35:11,625 --> 00:35:16,295 Believe in yourself as much as you believe in Christmas. 607 00:35:16,429 --> 00:35:18,831 Being cool isn't about being cool. 608 00:35:18,965 --> 00:35:20,434 So, be cool. 609 00:35:20,967 --> 00:35:22,501 Be cool. 610 00:35:38,217 --> 00:35:40,353 Lovely around here, isn't it? 611 00:35:40,487 --> 00:35:43,056 I call it Christmas Town. 612 00:35:43,188 --> 00:35:46,291 - Better known as the North Pole. - Rankin and Bass. 613 00:35:46,425 --> 00:35:48,927 - The Christmas Tree Forest. - Yep. 614 00:35:49,061 --> 00:35:50,563 Here's where we grow them. 615 00:35:50,697 --> 00:35:53,066 Are we done quoting "Rudolph, the Red Nose Reindeer?" 616 00:35:53,199 --> 00:35:54,934 "Nosed." 617 00:35:55,068 --> 00:35:56,436 It's spider-webby out here. 618 00:35:56,568 --> 00:35:59,105 But it seems more natural when it's decorated, 619 00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:01,240 don't you think? Hey, cool guy, 620 00:36:01,373 --> 00:36:04,476 do you think the woodland creatures know it's Christmas? 621 00:36:04,610 --> 00:36:05,978 Why don't you ask them? 622 00:36:06,378 --> 00:36:08,847 - Use the magic scarf. - This? 623 00:36:09,181 --> 00:36:11,650 When you wear it, you can wish for anything. 624 00:36:11,784 --> 00:36:13,052 But it's yours. 625 00:36:13,186 --> 00:36:15,521 I found it on the train. It's kind of sticky. 626 00:36:15,655 --> 00:36:18,257 They should be better about cleaning those floors. 627 00:36:18,590 --> 00:36:20,592 I sense you tried to give it back to me, 628 00:36:20,726 --> 00:36:22,161 but it had big gulp on it, 629 00:36:22,295 --> 00:36:24,164 so now you'll have it professionally dry cleaned. 630 00:36:24,297 --> 00:36:26,798 And then you'll ride the train, who knows how many days 631 00:36:26,932 --> 00:36:28,001 until you see me again. 632 00:36:28,134 --> 00:36:29,568 Without a word, 633 00:36:29,702 --> 00:36:32,304 you'll return it to me and even though we've never met, 634 00:36:32,438 --> 00:36:35,942 we'll become best friends and maybe lovers. 635 00:36:36,775 --> 00:36:38,844 Yeah, I don't think I'm... 636 00:36:39,177 --> 00:36:40,813 - I don't know. - I don't either. 637 00:36:41,447 --> 00:36:42,981 This is your fantasy, not mine. 638 00:36:43,115 --> 00:36:44,483 - Give me my scarf. - No. 639 00:36:44,717 --> 00:36:47,454 - I'll have it cleaned. - You are selfless and pure. 640 00:36:47,586 --> 00:36:48,621 Thank you. 641 00:36:48,755 --> 00:36:50,423 Anything you want, just ask the scarf. 642 00:36:50,556 --> 00:36:51,524 Anything. 643 00:36:51,657 --> 00:36:53,025 - But watch out. - What? 644 00:36:53,592 --> 00:36:54,594 Watch out! 645 00:36:54,726 --> 00:36:55,929 - Oh, hey. - Watch out! 646 00:36:56,061 --> 00:36:57,262 Watch out! 647 00:36:57,396 --> 00:36:58,664 No, it's okay. I'm all right. 648 00:36:58,797 --> 00:37:01,333 I'm the one with mental problems. Right? 649 00:37:01,467 --> 00:37:04,503 - Right? I'm the crazy one! - Thank you! 650 00:37:05,237 --> 00:37:07,540 Sorry. I didn't see you. 651 00:37:09,208 --> 00:37:12,545 Be safe. Have fun. Have a nice day. 652 00:37:12,679 --> 00:37:14,414 Don't get hit by a car. 653 00:37:14,780 --> 00:37:15,981 Great kid. 654 00:37:16,114 --> 00:37:17,383 Hey, mister. 655 00:37:18,318 --> 00:37:19,452 My mom says I'm supposed 656 00:37:19,585 --> 00:37:21,153 - to apologize to you. - What for? 657 00:37:21,288 --> 00:37:22,856 She says it's not nice to throw things at you. 658 00:37:22,989 --> 00:37:24,691 You know, 'cause you're mental. 659 00:37:24,824 --> 00:37:27,693 Oh, okay. I guess. 660 00:37:31,898 --> 00:37:34,300 Sorry, not mental. She says you're nice, 661 00:37:34,434 --> 00:37:36,569 and I should stop calling you a weirdo, 662 00:37:36,702 --> 00:37:38,070 or I'll get in trouble. 663 00:37:38,204 --> 00:37:40,073 Okay, well, yeah, don't get in trouble. 664 00:37:40,572 --> 00:37:42,674 I gotta go. I'll see you later. 665 00:37:42,909 --> 00:37:44,210 Hi. 666 00:37:44,342 --> 00:37:46,980 Hi. It's a beautiful day, isn't it? 667 00:37:47,112 --> 00:37:49,548 Yes, it is! 668 00:37:50,215 --> 00:37:52,317 That is a lovely scarf. 669 00:37:52,585 --> 00:37:54,787 Yes, it is. Looks great on you. 670 00:37:55,054 --> 00:37:56,322 Thank you. 671 00:37:57,389 --> 00:38:00,292 I did what you said. Can I get my bike back now? 672 00:38:03,561 --> 00:38:07,467 It's a magic scarf. 673 00:38:17,076 --> 00:38:19,679 At least you think I'm cool, right? 674 00:38:24,717 --> 00:38:29,554 - Hi, Mom. Merry Christmas. - Am I a terrible mother? 675 00:38:29,688 --> 00:38:32,991 - What? - You were such a good boy. 676 00:38:33,126 --> 00:38:35,228 - You're drunk. - No! 677 00:38:35,728 --> 00:38:36,963 Yes. 678 00:38:37,097 --> 00:38:41,501 It's all my fault, isn't it! That's what you think! 679 00:38:41,634 --> 00:38:42,601 Margaritas? 680 00:38:42,902 --> 00:38:43,903 Banana smoothie! 681 00:38:44,036 --> 00:38:45,404 Margarita. 682 00:38:45,538 --> 00:38:48,641 Did you want something? Absolution? Confirmation? 683 00:38:48,775 --> 00:38:51,242 Validation? What can I do for you? 684 00:38:51,376 --> 00:38:53,478 You were such a good boy. 685 00:38:53,913 --> 00:38:54,981 So... 686 00:38:55,114 --> 00:38:56,748 boring though. 687 00:38:57,449 --> 00:39:00,886 Just this dull, little thing in the corner 688 00:39:01,019 --> 00:39:03,155 playing with a nativity set. 689 00:39:03,289 --> 00:39:04,491 Thanks, Mom! 690 00:39:04,623 --> 00:39:07,993 As if constantly replaying Christmas 691 00:39:08,126 --> 00:39:09,895 would bring your father back. 692 00:39:10,028 --> 00:39:11,264 For the record, 693 00:39:11,398 --> 00:39:14,067 everything is not always about dad leaving. 694 00:39:14,668 --> 00:39:16,836 Yes, he abandoned us on Christmas day. 695 00:39:16,969 --> 00:39:19,805 That's just perfect, Donna. Merry Christmas! 696 00:39:19,938 --> 00:39:21,173 Santa! 697 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:23,041 Okay. 698 00:39:23,576 --> 00:39:26,679 Now that I say it out loud, maybe it is a little about dad. 699 00:39:26,813 --> 00:39:30,182 Therapy has done wonders for me. 700 00:39:30,317 --> 00:39:34,219 I am very conscious of my patterns, 701 00:39:34,353 --> 00:39:37,356 and I'm not a slave to them. 702 00:39:37,824 --> 00:39:38,858 Anymore. 703 00:39:38,992 --> 00:39:40,593 - Right. - I've learned, 704 00:39:41,094 --> 00:39:45,465 that doing the same thing more than once 705 00:39:45,931 --> 00:39:50,269 is the very definition of insanity. 706 00:39:51,871 --> 00:39:53,740 I don't think that's the exact quote, 707 00:39:53,873 --> 00:39:57,209 but you're right. I'm in a loo. I do it to myself. 708 00:39:57,909 --> 00:39:59,178 I realized that. 709 00:39:59,778 --> 00:40:04,016 But, Christmas is the only thing that makes me happy. 710 00:40:04,983 --> 00:40:09,655 I'm sorry that's dull for you, but it's my loop. 711 00:40:10,856 --> 00:40:12,291 I own it. 712 00:40:12,625 --> 00:40:14,728 What do you mean you own a loop? What is that? 713 00:40:14,860 --> 00:40:16,795 We're all in a loop of some sort. 714 00:40:17,963 --> 00:40:19,766 We make our own loops. 715 00:40:19,900 --> 00:40:22,235 You have your binge and purge loop. 716 00:40:22,534 --> 00:40:24,869 Don't make this about me. 717 00:40:26,672 --> 00:40:29,174 I have no idea what you're talking about. 718 00:40:29,842 --> 00:40:33,778 My therapist says that my deep state of denial 719 00:40:33,913 --> 00:40:36,715 prevents me from truly understanding things. 720 00:40:36,849 --> 00:40:39,986 Sounds like a breakthrough. I gotta go. 721 00:40:40,420 --> 00:40:44,023 He says there's something very wrong with you! 722 00:40:44,289 --> 00:40:48,360 I'm just relieved to know that it's your father's fault! 723 00:40:48,927 --> 00:40:52,065 We thought you'd never find a nice girl. 724 00:40:52,199 --> 00:40:54,800 - Like Clarice. - Clarice found me. 725 00:40:54,934 --> 00:40:56,403 I love you. 726 00:41:01,072 --> 00:41:02,375 That's new. 727 00:41:28,166 --> 00:41:29,268 Hey! 728 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,236 Hey! Hey, mister! 729 00:41:31,371 --> 00:41:33,306 Excuse me! Hey! I was... 730 00:41:33,438 --> 00:41:35,974 Huh? What do you want? I didn't steal it. 731 00:41:36,108 --> 00:41:37,242 It was just lying there. 732 00:41:37,376 --> 00:41:38,610 No. Hey. 733 00:41:38,744 --> 00:41:41,279 - I was... - Spit it out. Are you mental? 734 00:41:41,414 --> 00:41:43,116 - I got a knife! - No! Hey. 735 00:41:44,150 --> 00:41:47,119 I was almost hit by a car a little while ago. 736 00:41:47,552 --> 00:41:49,020 You yelled at me. 737 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:50,489 Woke me up. 738 00:41:50,722 --> 00:41:52,991 Yeah. That's right. Keep your eyes open. 739 00:41:53,592 --> 00:41:54,893 I bought you a present. 740 00:41:55,260 --> 00:41:58,230 - Why is it in Christmas paper? - It's a Christmas present. 741 00:41:58,530 --> 00:41:59,831 It's not Christmas. 742 00:41:59,965 --> 00:42:01,334 Here. 743 00:42:04,704 --> 00:42:05,938 Aren't you gonna open it? 744 00:42:06,806 --> 00:42:08,942 - There's something in it? - Yeah. 745 00:42:09,242 --> 00:42:10,376 You got the receipt? 746 00:42:10,510 --> 00:42:12,445 In case I don't like it, I can return it. 747 00:42:16,081 --> 00:42:17,148 Well, it's... 748 00:42:17,516 --> 00:42:18,851 It's a bunch of socks. 749 00:42:18,985 --> 00:42:20,820 I thought maybe you could use some new ones. 750 00:42:20,954 --> 00:42:21,988 I like socks. 751 00:42:22,454 --> 00:42:26,192 - I don't have any clean ones. - Well, cool. 752 00:42:26,692 --> 00:42:28,628 Now you have some clean, new socks. 753 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,329 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 754 00:42:30,463 --> 00:42:32,498 Who do you think you are? Will Ferrell? 755 00:42:32,630 --> 00:42:34,634 Hey, I was wondering, 756 00:42:34,900 --> 00:42:37,303 do you think you might wanna have dinner? 757 00:42:55,221 --> 00:42:56,755 ? The clothes I wear ? 758 00:42:56,889 --> 00:42:59,492 - ? The magic in my hair... ? - What up, Brock? 759 00:42:59,958 --> 00:43:00,993 Text me. 760 00:43:03,628 --> 00:43:05,230 Hey, how's it going? 761 00:43:05,364 --> 00:43:06,632 Merry Christmas. 762 00:43:06,766 --> 00:43:10,970 Got these threads at Anthropologie, yo. 763 00:43:11,103 --> 00:43:14,239 ? I can't even ? 764 00:43:14,373 --> 00:43:17,710 ? I know I am the coolest ? 765 00:43:17,842 --> 00:43:20,980 What up? I do not know your name. 766 00:43:22,246 --> 00:43:25,518 - ? Oh I'm gonna... ? - Hey, everybody! 767 00:43:25,650 --> 00:43:28,855 Merry Christmas! 768 00:43:28,987 --> 00:43:31,957 Hey, man. How about an icy brew for your bro? 769 00:43:32,391 --> 00:43:33,960 You got a magic eight ball, or you gonna tell me 770 00:43:34,094 --> 00:43:35,661 what kind of icy brew you want, bro? 771 00:43:35,795 --> 00:43:37,363 Right on! 772 00:43:37,496 --> 00:43:39,898 Hey, you never talked to me before. Must be the new Rudy. 773 00:43:40,032 --> 00:43:43,301 Must be. The old Rudy comes here and usually asks for a Rainier. 774 00:43:43,434 --> 00:43:44,703 How fly is that? 775 00:43:44,836 --> 00:43:47,672 - Super fly. What do you want? - Rainier! 776 00:43:47,806 --> 00:43:50,808 And two shots of whiskey! 777 00:43:50,943 --> 00:43:54,313 Whiskey! 778 00:43:54,447 --> 00:43:55,681 Ladies. 779 00:43:55,815 --> 00:43:58,150 Merry Christmas! 780 00:44:02,655 --> 00:44:05,158 Ladies! What's the what? 781 00:44:05,492 --> 00:44:07,794 - What's the what? - That's hysterical! 782 00:44:07,927 --> 00:44:10,028 - You are amazing. - We were talking. 783 00:44:10,262 --> 00:44:12,598 Cool, what's on the agen? 784 00:44:12,731 --> 00:44:14,400 Getting to know you, obviously. 785 00:44:14,532 --> 00:44:16,701 I love men who talk in abbreviations. 786 00:44:16,835 --> 00:44:18,336 It means you're busy and important, 787 00:44:18,471 --> 00:44:20,938 and you don't have time to waste on a single syllable. 788 00:44:21,072 --> 00:44:23,675 Do you come here often? Because this is my first time here. 789 00:44:23,809 --> 00:44:26,778 But if you come here often, I'm gonna come here often. 790 00:44:26,911 --> 00:44:30,782 Take it easy, I'm a slow ride and I don't wanna miss a thing. 791 00:44:30,916 --> 00:44:34,653 Eagles, Foghat and Aerosmith in one sentence. I'm swooning! 792 00:44:34,786 --> 00:44:36,922 Nice shirt. This scarf is hot! 793 00:44:37,056 --> 00:44:38,691 Where'd ya get it, Aeropostale? 794 00:44:38,824 --> 00:44:40,960 No! I found it on the floor of a train. 795 00:44:41,092 --> 00:44:42,427 That is so cool! 796 00:44:42,561 --> 00:44:44,764 You're the coolest person I've ever met. 797 00:44:44,896 --> 00:44:46,766 I've always been cool. Just nobody noticed. 798 00:44:46,898 --> 00:44:48,167 I was on the DL. 799 00:44:48,300 --> 00:44:50,601 I should probably go to the little girls room 800 00:44:50,735 --> 00:44:51,938 and freshen up. Would... 801 00:44:52,070 --> 00:44:54,373 - Would you excuse me? - What? 802 00:44:54,507 --> 00:44:57,076 - I said excuse me. - No problemo. 803 00:44:57,208 --> 00:44:58,777 I know what's up. 804 00:44:58,911 --> 00:45:01,481 You ladies are going to talk amongst yourselves, and decide 805 00:45:01,614 --> 00:45:03,949 - who's the lucky gal tonight. - Seriously? 806 00:45:04,083 --> 00:45:05,985 No fight. It's all right, all right, all right? 807 00:45:06,117 --> 00:45:09,054 Promise? You're too pretty, and there's enough Rudy! 808 00:45:09,188 --> 00:45:10,557 For everybody! 809 00:45:10,690 --> 00:45:12,791 I've never seen someone bomb like that before. 810 00:45:12,925 --> 00:45:15,428 Check it out. I'm having a party tomorrow night at my place. 811 00:45:15,561 --> 00:45:17,429 I just decided. 8:00 p.m. 812 00:45:17,563 --> 00:45:20,800 I'll be there. Young, dumb and full of Christmas spirit. 813 00:45:20,932 --> 00:45:22,302 - You know what I mean? - No. 814 00:45:22,434 --> 00:45:23,603 Right on. 815 00:45:23,936 --> 00:45:25,704 You just decided you're having a party 816 00:45:25,838 --> 00:45:27,407 but you already had invitations? 817 00:45:27,539 --> 00:45:32,010 Hey, everyone. I'm a wild and crazy guy. 818 00:45:32,143 --> 00:45:33,912 Don't you watch Saturday Night Live? 819 00:45:34,045 --> 00:45:37,482 SNL's totally my scene. It's so cool! 820 00:45:37,782 --> 00:45:39,851 Hey, man. What's up? 821 00:45:40,085 --> 00:45:41,721 You look almost as good as me tonight. 822 00:45:41,853 --> 00:45:43,455 We're like two elves on a shelf. 823 00:45:43,590 --> 00:45:45,057 You know what that's from, right? 824 00:45:45,291 --> 00:45:48,795 The movie Elf on a shelf. Check it out. Blu-ray, my place. 825 00:45:48,927 --> 00:45:51,696 Or we could just Netflix and chill. That'd be cool. 826 00:45:52,264 --> 00:45:55,001 What are you doing, man? 827 00:45:55,134 --> 00:45:57,469 Being amazing. What are you doing? 828 00:45:57,737 --> 00:45:59,672 Your amazingness is freaking everybody out. 829 00:45:59,804 --> 00:46:01,973 - More than usual somehow. - Hey, it's cool. 830 00:46:02,108 --> 00:46:05,010 - You see this scarf? It's magic! - Really? 831 00:46:05,143 --> 00:46:06,612 I do not claim to know how it works, 832 00:46:06,746 --> 00:46:08,313 but it makes me extremely cool. 833 00:46:08,447 --> 00:46:10,048 Bulletproof. Zero awkward. 834 00:46:10,182 --> 00:46:11,583 Yeah, I noticed. 835 00:46:11,717 --> 00:46:13,152 Hey, nice of you to check in. 836 00:46:13,284 --> 00:46:16,187 Look, I'm having a party. It's an event, 8 p. 837 00:46:16,322 --> 00:46:18,891 We're filling up fast, but you can tend bar. 838 00:46:19,259 --> 00:46:21,693 JK. I'm keeping it real. 839 00:46:21,827 --> 00:46:24,530 Almost sick enough to want to see that train wreck. 840 00:46:24,663 --> 00:46:26,164 Hells yeah! My digits. 841 00:46:26,298 --> 00:46:29,001 I'mma cruise over here and check out this chessboard thang. 842 00:46:29,134 --> 00:46:30,036 Lates! 843 00:46:32,336 --> 00:46:33,806 What up, my dudes! 844 00:46:33,940 --> 00:46:35,974 Let me show you how the chessing is done. 845 00:46:36,108 --> 00:46:40,011 Oh, look, you're playing with the little Santa Claus people 846 00:46:40,144 --> 00:46:42,114 who lives in Santa Claus village. 847 00:46:42,248 --> 00:46:44,550 And then you got the Mrs. Santa Claus 848 00:46:44,682 --> 00:46:46,719 and she wants to move over here. 849 00:46:46,853 --> 00:46:49,322 Yo, kayaking is more my thing. 850 00:46:51,757 --> 00:46:53,525 Merry Christmas! 851 00:46:53,659 --> 00:46:57,863 Hey, you guys are hardcore. You wanna play adult dodgeball? 852 00:46:57,996 --> 00:47:00,732 Go home, man. Quit being so weird. 853 00:47:02,367 --> 00:47:03,603 Nailed it! 854 00:47:04,570 --> 00:47:05,871 I almost felt bad for him. 855 00:47:06,271 --> 00:47:09,008 But at the same time, it was pretty spectacular. 856 00:47:09,275 --> 00:47:11,143 So he kinda gained a little respect. 857 00:49:13,565 --> 00:49:14,967 We're out of ketchup! 858 00:49:15,099 --> 00:49:17,469 Can one of you go in the kitchen and get me some ketchup? 859 00:49:17,603 --> 00:49:19,505 Kitchen. Now. 860 00:49:20,204 --> 00:49:23,208 How many does it take to go get me some ketchup? 861 00:49:23,342 --> 00:49:24,443 Hmm. 862 00:49:26,110 --> 00:49:28,846 Somebody wanna tell me what that was all about? 863 00:49:28,981 --> 00:49:30,382 It was on the floor. 864 00:49:30,514 --> 00:49:32,217 I'm supposed to pick stuff off the floor, right? 865 00:49:32,351 --> 00:49:34,320 - You were going to keep it. - That's not your business. 866 00:49:34,452 --> 00:49:35,721 It's not yours. 867 00:49:35,855 --> 00:49:37,755 - Maybe I dropped it. - You didn't drop it! 868 00:49:38,023 --> 00:49:40,325 Miss Loving dropped it. She always drops it. 869 00:49:40,458 --> 00:49:42,127 How do you know she didn't drop it for me? 870 00:49:42,260 --> 00:49:44,429 Maybe she likes to see me bend over and pick it up. 871 00:49:44,563 --> 00:49:46,999 You're gonna take that one joy away from her? 872 00:49:47,132 --> 00:49:48,533 - Ew. - All right. 873 00:49:48,668 --> 00:49:50,501 - Give it... - Boss! 874 00:49:50,768 --> 00:49:52,471 I can help. 875 00:49:53,206 --> 00:49:56,508 Let this scarf represent friendship, 876 00:49:56,641 --> 00:49:58,277 and harmony between you. 877 00:49:58,411 --> 00:50:01,780 Let the raging waters of discord calm, 878 00:50:01,914 --> 00:50:04,717 and may you both find peace. 879 00:50:04,849 --> 00:50:07,085 Love one another. 880 00:50:07,385 --> 00:50:09,721 Man, you never say nothing except Merry Christmas, 881 00:50:09,855 --> 00:50:11,891 and when you do, it's a hippie wedding? 882 00:50:12,190 --> 00:50:13,692 I thought it was nice. 883 00:50:13,826 --> 00:50:15,193 - It was stupid. - You're stupid. 884 00:50:15,327 --> 00:50:16,862 - Your face is stupid. - Enough! 885 00:50:16,994 --> 00:50:18,563 Get back to work. 886 00:50:18,797 --> 00:50:19,999 Do not talk to each other. 887 00:50:20,132 --> 00:50:22,867 If I see you even look at each other, 888 00:50:23,001 --> 00:50:25,304 - you're both fired. - No negativity. 889 00:50:25,436 --> 00:50:27,405 Not at Christmas. 890 00:50:27,539 --> 00:50:30,042 I'm having a Christmas party. 891 00:50:30,175 --> 00:50:32,010 Tomorrow night at eight. 892 00:50:32,311 --> 00:50:34,579 - God. - And you're all invited. 893 00:50:35,414 --> 00:50:39,785 It's going to be super cool, and really fun! 894 00:50:40,117 --> 00:50:42,487 - BYOB? - I'll take care of everything! 895 00:50:42,621 --> 00:50:46,692 I have tons of eggnog, and I'll make mulled wine. 896 00:50:46,824 --> 00:50:49,727 We can have Christmas cookies and a cheese log. 897 00:50:49,961 --> 00:50:52,931 We can string cranberries and popcorn, 898 00:50:53,065 --> 00:50:54,934 and sing Christmas carols. 899 00:50:55,067 --> 00:50:59,304 We're going to have so much fun. You're going to love it! 900 00:50:59,871 --> 00:51:02,041 Eight o' clock, and best of all, 901 00:51:02,273 --> 00:51:07,346 you get to meet all of my really cool friends. 902 00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,615 My other friends, because you guys... 903 00:51:11,016 --> 00:51:12,985 are my best friends. 904 00:51:13,585 --> 00:51:15,253 I love you guys. 905 00:51:15,721 --> 00:51:17,356 Clarice especially. 906 00:51:18,123 --> 00:51:20,025 I'd throw a lasso around the moon 907 00:51:20,159 --> 00:51:22,260 and pull it down for you, Clarice. 908 00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,330 See you at eight! 909 00:51:32,737 --> 00:51:35,574 ? From ear to ear You see my grin ? 910 00:51:35,708 --> 00:51:38,110 ? From there to here From nose to fin ? 911 00:51:38,242 --> 00:51:40,311 ? I might just have to Grin again ? 912 00:51:40,445 --> 00:51:42,947 ? Say what you want I'm misfitting ? 913 00:51:43,081 --> 00:51:45,282 ? I want a Charlie in a box ? 914 00:51:45,416 --> 00:51:47,652 ? I want balloons Made out of rocks ? 915 00:51:47,786 --> 00:51:50,088 ? I want square wheels On my bike ? 916 00:51:50,222 --> 00:51:53,125 ? Why should we all Just be alike ? 917 00:51:53,257 --> 00:51:55,426 ? Misfit, you'll agree ? 918 00:51:55,561 --> 00:51:57,829 ? Misfit, well that's me ? 919 00:51:58,163 --> 00:52:00,164 ? Misfit happily ? 920 00:52:00,298 --> 00:52:02,934 ? I'm not out of step ? 921 00:52:03,068 --> 00:52:05,304 ? What's up, Mr. Sky? ? 922 00:52:05,438 --> 00:52:07,838 ? Moonlight in my eye ? 923 00:52:07,972 --> 00:52:09,974 ? Misfit in MI ? 924 00:52:10,108 --> 00:52:12,844 ? I got magic help ? 925 00:52:12,978 --> 00:52:14,980 ? I hear my own beat ? 926 00:52:15,112 --> 00:52:17,315 ? When I dance down the street ? 927 00:52:17,449 --> 00:52:19,683 ? I'm a pepper shaker Filled with salt ? 928 00:52:19,818 --> 00:52:22,488 ? That's how I am It's not my fault ? 929 00:52:33,599 --> 00:52:34,700 - Hello. - Hello. 930 00:52:34,833 --> 00:52:36,168 Goodness, you're in a hurry. 931 00:52:36,302 --> 00:52:38,303 I have to get ready for my big party. 932 00:52:38,436 --> 00:52:39,872 - Are you having a party? - Yes! 933 00:52:40,005 --> 00:52:42,407 How delightful! What's the occasion? 934 00:52:42,541 --> 00:52:43,509 Having... 935 00:52:43,775 --> 00:52:44,777 friends. 936 00:52:45,376 --> 00:52:47,211 You wanna come? Please come. 937 00:52:47,346 --> 00:52:50,715 It'll be super cool and really fun! 938 00:52:50,983 --> 00:52:52,784 Tomorrow night at eight. 939 00:52:53,117 --> 00:52:54,386 See you then! 940 00:52:56,588 --> 00:52:58,223 - Hi! Oh. - Hey. 941 00:52:58,356 --> 00:53:00,692 Can I have the wreath if it falls on the ground again? 942 00:53:00,826 --> 00:53:01,860 Yeah, sure! 943 00:53:02,460 --> 00:53:04,628 Hey, I was wondering about that dinner. 944 00:53:04,862 --> 00:53:06,197 I'm busy. I've got plans. 945 00:53:06,331 --> 00:53:08,701 My mom orders from really nice restaurants! 946 00:53:08,833 --> 00:53:09,967 Okay. 947 00:53:10,101 --> 00:53:11,369 It's Valentine's for her, 948 00:53:11,503 --> 00:53:13,405 and I thought maybe it was for you too. 949 00:53:13,639 --> 00:53:16,307 - It's not Valentine's for you? - For me it's Christmas. 950 00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,309 - That's weird. I'm busy. - Oh. 951 00:53:18,443 --> 00:53:21,378 Well, I'm having a party at my house tomorrow night at eight. 952 00:53:21,512 --> 00:53:24,215 If you're not busy, maybe you can come to that instead. 953 00:53:24,349 --> 00:53:26,285 - Why? - It's Christmas! 954 00:53:26,418 --> 00:53:28,287 - No, it's not. - Okay, well. 955 00:53:28,420 --> 00:53:30,422 If you wanna come, you know where I live. 956 00:53:30,556 --> 00:53:32,891 If the wreath falls down again, I get it, right? 957 00:53:33,025 --> 00:53:34,626 - Yeah! - Hey. 958 00:53:35,092 --> 00:53:36,694 Is there something wrong with mom? 959 00:53:36,829 --> 00:53:37,930 She's lonely. 960 00:53:38,063 --> 00:53:39,432 Is there something wrong with you? 961 00:53:39,565 --> 00:53:42,168 We all have something wrong with us, don't we? 962 00:53:42,501 --> 00:53:43,368 That's true. 963 00:54:12,931 --> 00:54:14,900 Welcome, friends! 964 00:54:15,034 --> 00:54:16,902 Welcome to my home. 965 00:54:17,034 --> 00:54:19,971 Here, you'll find joy and good will of Christmas 966 00:54:20,105 --> 00:54:21,539 all year round. 967 00:54:21,673 --> 00:54:26,311 It is my humble gift to you, my good dear friends. 968 00:54:36,355 --> 00:54:39,257 I have gifts for you, and you, and you! 969 00:54:39,391 --> 00:54:40,925 ? And you and you ? 970 00:54:41,059 --> 00:54:44,296 - That's not a Christmas movie! - ? Debatable ? 971 00:54:44,797 --> 00:54:46,097 I like eggnog. 972 00:54:46,764 --> 00:54:49,667 Oh no, Prancer. That's bad for you! 973 00:54:52,871 --> 00:54:56,175 Stop it, Prancer. Stop! 974 00:54:57,476 --> 00:54:59,545 Stop it, Prancer! 975 00:55:00,746 --> 00:55:02,248 Prancer, stop! 976 00:55:05,650 --> 00:55:07,052 It's today! 977 00:55:07,385 --> 00:55:09,521 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 978 00:55:09,655 --> 00:55:11,724 ? Reach for the Fridge Sugar and cream ? 979 00:55:11,856 --> 00:55:13,891 ? Booze in the eggnog Gives you wings ? 980 00:55:14,025 --> 00:55:16,327 ? Chorus to the song Don't mean a thing ? 981 00:55:16,461 --> 00:55:18,264 ? ...till we sing ? 982 00:55:18,396 --> 00:55:19,797 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 983 00:55:19,931 --> 00:55:21,934 ? Now do the ham Pop in the pan ? 984 00:55:22,067 --> 00:55:24,001 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 985 00:55:24,135 --> 00:55:26,871 ? See how he makes Cheese log and cake ? 986 00:55:27,005 --> 00:55:31,042 ? Ding, dong, ding, dong ? 987 00:55:31,175 --> 00:55:33,545 ? Drink all around Half vodka bottle ? 988 00:55:33,677 --> 00:55:35,780 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 989 00:55:35,914 --> 00:55:38,150 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 990 00:55:38,282 --> 00:55:42,820 ? Take the ham from ? 991 00:55:42,954 --> 00:55:45,123 ? The oven ? 992 00:55:45,257 --> 00:55:46,858 ? And put it down ? 993 00:55:47,125 --> 00:55:49,561 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 994 00:55:49,693 --> 00:55:51,929 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 995 00:55:52,063 --> 00:55:53,231 ? What to wear today ? 996 00:55:53,364 --> 00:55:54,331 ? Prancer's all right ? 997 00:55:54,465 --> 00:55:55,768 ? Green suit is tight ? 998 00:55:55,900 --> 00:55:59,105 ? La, la, la, la, la ? 999 00:55:59,905 --> 00:56:02,240 ? La, la, la, la, la ? 1000 00:56:02,373 --> 00:56:04,009 ? La, la, la, la, la ? 1001 00:56:04,141 --> 00:56:06,678 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 1002 00:56:06,811 --> 00:56:08,746 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 1003 00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:11,349 ? His face is very manic Nose has afallen ? 1004 00:56:11,483 --> 00:56:13,018 ? Don't even panic ? 1005 00:56:13,952 --> 00:56:15,854 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 1006 00:56:15,987 --> 00:56:18,289 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 1007 00:56:18,423 --> 00:56:19,557 ? Tears down the stairs ? 1008 00:56:19,692 --> 00:56:21,326 ? Glam fancy wares ? 1009 00:56:21,460 --> 00:56:22,961 ? Eats like a bear Rum everywhere ? 1010 00:56:23,094 --> 00:56:27,099 ? La, la, la, la, la ? 1011 00:56:27,532 --> 00:56:29,867 ? La, la, la, la, la ? 1012 00:56:30,001 --> 00:56:31,903 ? La, la, la, la, la ? 1013 00:56:32,036 --> 00:56:34,339 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 1014 00:56:34,472 --> 00:56:36,574 ? Ring Christmas bells Ring Christmas bells ? 1015 00:56:36,708 --> 00:56:38,742 ? He took the wreath He took the wreath ? 1016 00:56:38,876 --> 00:56:41,514 ? He took the wreath He took the wreath ? 1017 00:56:59,530 --> 00:57:01,699 ? Noon, you're at home Wait by the phone ? 1018 00:57:01,833 --> 00:57:03,969 ? Watch video, watch video ? 1019 00:57:04,101 --> 00:57:08,505 ? Ding dong, ding dong ? 1020 00:57:08,639 --> 00:57:10,875 ? Wait for the time Party is near ? 1021 00:57:11,009 --> 00:57:13,344 ? Friends will be here Friends will be here ? 1022 00:57:13,478 --> 00:57:17,548 ? La, la, la, la, la ? 1023 00:57:17,681 --> 00:57:20,251 ? La, la, la, la, la ? 1024 00:57:20,385 --> 00:57:22,721 ? La, la, la, la, la ? 1025 00:58:01,992 --> 00:58:03,895 ? Ring Christmas bells ? 1026 00:58:04,028 --> 00:58:07,731 ? Ring Christmas bells ? 1027 00:58:08,099 --> 00:58:09,801 ? Ring ? 1028 00:58:50,742 --> 00:58:53,312 - Hi, Clarice. Come in. - Hi. 1029 00:58:55,213 --> 00:58:57,148 - Am I the first one here? - Yeah. 1030 00:58:57,416 --> 00:58:59,182 Everyone else is on their way. 1031 00:58:59,583 --> 00:59:02,153 - Your house looks really nice. - Thanks. 1032 00:59:02,688 --> 00:59:05,556 - May I offer you an eggnog? - Do you have anything else? 1033 00:59:05,690 --> 00:59:07,893 - Punch. - Okay. Thanks. 1034 00:59:17,436 --> 00:59:19,405 Were are you able to find the place okay? 1035 00:59:19,538 --> 00:59:22,039 - I've been here before. - Right. 1036 00:59:22,173 --> 00:59:25,277 It's just it's getting late, and I thought everybody might be... 1037 00:59:25,411 --> 00:59:26,878 having a hard time finding my house. 1038 00:59:27,012 --> 00:59:29,181 It's got Christmas lights all over it, 1039 00:59:29,313 --> 00:59:31,349 so it's pretty easy to spot. 1040 00:59:32,351 --> 00:59:35,521 - I brought you something. - You didn't have to do that. 1041 00:59:35,653 --> 00:59:37,556 It's Valentine's tomorrow, so... 1042 00:59:37,688 --> 00:59:40,291 - This is a Christmas party. - I know. 1043 00:59:40,726 --> 00:59:42,594 Anyway, this is for you. 1044 00:59:42,726 --> 00:59:44,862 I thought you could be my Valentine, 1045 00:59:44,996 --> 00:59:47,699 since it's almost Valentine's and... 1046 00:59:47,998 --> 00:59:49,434 I like you. 1047 00:59:50,135 --> 00:59:51,770 I made eggnog. 1048 00:59:52,336 --> 00:59:54,539 I feel embarrassed. I should go. 1049 00:59:54,672 --> 00:59:57,342 Go where? 1050 01:00:01,545 --> 01:00:03,114 I've never done that before. 1051 01:00:03,715 --> 01:00:04,882 I never went up to a guy 1052 01:00:05,016 --> 01:00:07,385 and asked him to be my Valentine. 1053 01:00:07,818 --> 01:00:09,487 You don't have to be my Valentine, 1054 01:00:09,621 --> 01:00:11,423 but that was really hard for me. 1055 01:00:11,556 --> 01:00:13,425 I just thought you liked me, too, is all. 1056 01:00:13,557 --> 01:00:14,693 I do. 1057 01:00:14,927 --> 01:00:17,396 - But Christmas... - What's the big deal? 1058 01:00:17,996 --> 01:00:19,030 I mean... 1059 01:00:19,630 --> 01:00:22,533 I get it. It's a Christmas party, obviously. 1060 01:00:22,967 --> 01:00:24,603 But, am I not even supposed to mention 1061 01:00:24,735 --> 01:00:26,137 that it's really Valentine's Day? 1062 01:00:26,271 --> 01:00:28,306 That's kind of where it gets weird, Rudy. 1063 01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:30,474 - You think I'm weird, too? - Yeah. 1064 01:00:30,974 --> 01:00:33,411 That's why I like you. I mean, fine. 1065 01:00:33,545 --> 01:00:34,813 Pretend it's Christmas if you want. 1066 01:00:34,945 --> 01:00:37,581 - Pretend? - Yes, pretend. It's February. 1067 01:00:37,715 --> 01:00:40,751 I know Christmas is your jam, and that's quirky cool, 1068 01:00:41,085 --> 01:00:46,057 but Christmas is December 25th, not February 13th. 1069 01:00:46,190 --> 01:00:48,893 What do I have to do to make you understand? 1070 01:00:49,027 --> 01:00:52,231 To make everyone understand Christmas is not a day? 1071 01:00:52,364 --> 01:00:53,697 Yes it is! 1072 01:00:54,132 --> 01:00:55,967 You can celebrate Christmas whenever you want, 1073 01:00:56,099 --> 01:00:58,502 but that doesn't mean it's not Valentine's Day. 1074 01:00:58,637 --> 01:01:00,806 - Tomorrow! - Valentine's is fake. 1075 01:01:00,938 --> 01:01:03,040 It's made up by a greeting card company. 1076 01:01:03,173 --> 01:01:06,510 Oh. Sorry Valentine's isn't as authentic 1077 01:01:06,643 --> 01:01:08,312 as your February Christmas party 1078 01:01:08,447 --> 01:01:10,114 with your cheese log, and eggnog, 1079 01:01:10,248 --> 01:01:12,483 and your shopping mall of presents under your fake tree! 1080 01:01:12,617 --> 01:01:14,286 It's what's in your heart that counts, 1081 01:01:14,418 --> 01:01:16,020 not what's under your tree. 1082 01:01:19,456 --> 01:01:21,192 And that tree is awesome! 1083 01:01:26,764 --> 01:01:28,099 That was our first fight. 1084 01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:57,628 You know what? 1085 01:01:57,762 --> 01:02:00,499 Don't lasso for the moon for me. I don't want it. 1086 01:02:01,065 --> 01:02:03,166 I don't want to be your Valentine. 1087 01:02:19,717 --> 01:02:23,320 ? Sleighbells ringing ? 1088 01:02:23,454 --> 01:02:28,159 ? But my heart Is made of stone ? 1089 01:02:28,726 --> 01:02:34,865 ? I got nobody waiting at home ? 1090 01:02:35,699 --> 01:02:39,471 ? Wish there was somebody ? 1091 01:02:39,603 --> 01:02:43,207 ? Still that sad trombone ? 1092 01:02:43,775 --> 01:02:50,213 ? Plays through the silent nigt For me ? 1093 01:02:50,715 --> 01:02:54,952 ? Another cool Christmas ? 1094 01:02:55,085 --> 01:02:58,289 ? I've lost my heart again ? 1095 01:02:58,523 --> 01:03:04,997 ? Another cool Christmas alone ? 1096 01:03:06,130 --> 01:03:10,702 ? I was a fool last Christmas ? 1097 01:03:10,936 --> 01:03:13,972 ? And here I go again ? 1098 01:03:14,105 --> 01:03:20,913 ? Another cool Christmas alone ? 1099 01:03:22,947 --> 01:03:26,617 ? Silhouette by a fire light ? 1100 01:03:26,918 --> 01:03:30,855 ? Stockings hanging In case they might ? 1101 01:03:30,987 --> 01:03:34,025 ? Fill with Christmas joy Tonight ? 1102 01:03:34,159 --> 01:03:39,030 ? For who will need ? 1103 01:03:41,766 --> 01:03:43,534 Oh my god. 1104 01:03:43,668 --> 01:03:46,037 Nelson still has his Christmas tree up. 1105 01:03:46,170 --> 01:03:47,938 Whatever. 1106 01:03:48,072 --> 01:03:50,007 Nelson still has his Christmas tree up? 1107 01:03:50,141 --> 01:03:53,410 It's months past Christmas. He should know that it's a rule. 1108 01:03:53,543 --> 01:03:56,681 On the 27th, you have to remove your Christmas tree. 1109 01:03:56,815 --> 01:03:58,650 You need a woman in life. 1110 01:03:58,784 --> 01:04:00,152 - Maybe. - Get rid of it. 1111 01:04:00,284 --> 01:04:02,586 ? Jingle bells Batman smells ? 1112 01:04:02,719 --> 01:04:04,388 ? Robin made an egg ? 1113 01:04:04,523 --> 01:04:07,826 Robin, with his funky feet, wouldn't lay eggs. 1114 01:04:07,958 --> 01:04:09,159 - Watch this. - Impossible. 1115 01:04:09,293 --> 01:04:11,228 ? Joker took ballet ? 1116 01:04:12,262 --> 01:04:16,567 ? I hear Christmas singing ? 1117 01:04:16,701 --> 01:04:20,672 ? But my heart is out of tune ? 1118 01:04:20,804 --> 01:04:22,440 That's not how you sing it. 1119 01:04:22,572 --> 01:04:25,376 ? Way up high ? 1120 01:04:25,510 --> 01:04:27,312 ? All on my own ? 1121 01:04:27,445 --> 01:04:30,347 Make your wish, Rudy. Make it for love. 1122 01:04:30,481 --> 01:04:34,052 - Love in its purest form. - ? Nobody I got no friends ? 1123 01:04:34,184 --> 01:04:36,420 ? Just the moon ? 1124 01:04:37,355 --> 01:04:43,094 ? I've got no need For mistletoe ? 1125 01:04:44,862 --> 01:04:46,463 ? I wish I may ? 1126 01:04:46,597 --> 01:04:48,033 ? I wish I might ? 1127 01:04:48,333 --> 01:04:51,936 ? Have this Christmas wish Tonight ? 1128 01:04:52,170 --> 01:04:55,974 ? A star up in the sky So bright ? 1129 01:04:56,106 --> 01:05:00,177 ? Shining for me ? 1130 01:05:00,478 --> 01:05:05,416 ? But it's just another Cool Christmas ? 1131 01:05:05,882 --> 01:05:09,086 ? I've lost my only friend ? 1132 01:05:09,219 --> 01:05:15,726 ? Another cool Christmas alone ? 1133 01:05:17,061 --> 01:05:20,698 ? I was a fool last Christmas ? 1134 01:05:20,831 --> 01:05:22,699 Cool people have parties. 1135 01:05:22,833 --> 01:05:24,935 ? Here I go again ? 1136 01:05:25,402 --> 01:05:29,306 ? But if Christmas Weren't so cool ? 1137 01:05:30,074 --> 01:05:32,309 ? Fingers crossed ? 1138 01:05:32,777 --> 01:05:37,849 ? I'd find my friend ? 1139 01:05:38,949 --> 01:05:41,919 - Well, that catgirl showed up. - Oh. 1140 01:05:42,586 --> 01:05:44,088 I didn't see you there. 1141 01:05:44,956 --> 01:05:46,691 What are you doing here? 1142 01:05:46,824 --> 01:05:48,658 I could ask you the same thing. I didn't. 1143 01:05:48,793 --> 01:05:50,428 I know what you're doing. 1144 01:05:50,695 --> 01:05:52,731 - You gonna jump? - Why not? 1145 01:05:53,530 --> 01:05:55,199 Everybody hates me. 1146 01:05:56,068 --> 01:05:58,169 The whole world would just be better off 1147 01:05:58,302 --> 01:06:00,605 if I never said Merry Christmas again. 1148 01:06:00,838 --> 01:06:03,141 Hey! Thanks for the socks. 1149 01:06:03,740 --> 01:06:05,076 You're welcome. 1150 01:06:06,309 --> 01:06:07,512 Merry Christmas. 1151 01:06:07,746 --> 01:06:10,048 They keep my feet warm, I wash them out in the river. 1152 01:06:10,181 --> 01:06:11,449 Takes a while to dry. 1153 01:06:12,684 --> 01:06:14,486 I can get you some more. 1154 01:06:14,985 --> 01:06:16,887 - It's okay. - It's nothing. 1155 01:06:17,021 --> 01:06:18,456 It's not nothing. 1156 01:06:18,822 --> 01:06:20,025 Not to me. 1157 01:06:20,958 --> 01:06:22,826 A lot of people don't think the way you do. 1158 01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:24,695 Don't think about helping people. 1159 01:06:25,228 --> 01:06:27,932 Sometimes I bunch them up into a sock pillow. 1160 01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:29,534 A bit dangerous though. 1161 01:06:29,668 --> 01:06:31,603 Can't nobody steal them if they're on your feet. 1162 01:06:31,735 --> 01:06:33,371 They'll steal your pillow, though. 1163 01:06:34,072 --> 01:06:35,506 Who would steal from you? 1164 01:06:36,007 --> 01:06:38,242 You're worse off than me. You have nothing. 1165 01:06:38,376 --> 01:06:40,078 What you mean I don't got nothing? 1166 01:06:40,211 --> 01:06:42,514 I got stuff. I got everything I need. 1167 01:06:42,646 --> 01:06:44,681 The ones who steal are the ones who don't got nothing. 1168 01:06:44,815 --> 01:06:45,916 I got everything. 1169 01:06:46,284 --> 01:06:48,219 It falls on the ground, it's mine. 1170 01:06:48,452 --> 01:06:50,422 See? I love this wreath. 1171 01:06:50,855 --> 01:06:52,090 Okay. 1172 01:06:53,224 --> 01:06:54,759 I mean, I don't have a fancy house, 1173 01:06:54,893 --> 01:06:57,161 all fixed up like it's Christmas. 1174 01:06:57,460 --> 01:06:58,796 Or a girlfriend. 1175 01:06:59,496 --> 01:07:00,798 I used to have a wife. 1176 01:07:01,532 --> 01:07:03,768 She didn't look like a cat, though. 1177 01:07:06,137 --> 01:07:07,705 It's Valentine's Day. 1178 01:07:08,405 --> 01:07:11,009 - You know that, don't you? - I know! 1179 01:07:11,141 --> 01:07:12,942 Okay. Well, excuse me. 1180 01:07:13,577 --> 01:07:17,315 Don't seem like you do. At least I know what day it is. 1181 01:07:17,447 --> 01:07:18,250 It's today. 1182 01:07:18,483 --> 01:07:20,418 I got that much. 1183 01:07:21,050 --> 01:07:22,554 I know what I am. 1184 01:07:23,086 --> 01:07:24,556 I know who I am. 1185 01:07:24,889 --> 01:07:26,224 I got that much, too. 1186 01:07:26,358 --> 01:07:28,126 I'll tell you something else. 1187 01:07:28,592 --> 01:07:29,994 I know who you are. 1188 01:07:30,494 --> 01:07:31,695 Who am I? 1189 01:07:31,829 --> 01:07:33,999 You're the one who's about to jump off a bridge. 1190 01:07:37,134 --> 01:07:38,903 That water's cold, you know. 1191 01:07:40,637 --> 01:07:42,539 Here, take this. 1192 01:07:42,672 --> 01:07:43,875 I want you to have it. 1193 01:07:44,007 --> 01:07:45,208 - Don't get it wet, either. - It's... 1194 01:07:45,342 --> 01:07:47,411 - Taco Bell hot sauce. - Shh. 1195 01:07:47,545 --> 01:07:50,648 You want somebody to steal it? It's for you. It's a gift. 1196 01:07:51,614 --> 01:07:54,151 Makes everything you put it on taste delicious. 1197 01:07:54,784 --> 01:07:55,987 It's magic. 1198 01:07:56,753 --> 01:07:58,889 - Thank you. - Listen, son. 1199 01:07:59,489 --> 01:08:02,993 I never saw anybody try as hard as you to believe in people. 1200 01:08:03,527 --> 01:08:05,195 I'm not very good at that myself. 1201 01:08:05,329 --> 01:08:07,599 You take after your momma, I guess. 1202 01:08:08,898 --> 01:08:10,034 You're a good boy. 1203 01:08:10,166 --> 01:08:11,435 That's not enough. 1204 01:08:11,568 --> 01:08:13,737 You don't need to be no better than that. 1205 01:08:14,371 --> 01:08:16,806 Daddy should have told you that a long time ago. 1206 01:08:17,375 --> 01:08:19,277 Do you forgive him? 1207 01:08:19,610 --> 01:08:20,912 My dad? 1208 01:08:21,412 --> 01:08:22,447 Yeah. 1209 01:08:23,014 --> 01:08:24,315 I guess. 1210 01:08:24,715 --> 01:08:25,951 That's good. 1211 01:08:26,817 --> 01:08:27,985 That's real good. 1212 01:08:28,619 --> 01:08:30,322 That's how you get out of them chains. 1213 01:08:30,921 --> 01:08:33,490 Forgive yourself like you forgive your daddy and... 1214 01:08:33,623 --> 01:08:34,658 Poof. 1215 01:08:34,891 --> 01:08:36,126 You're free. 1216 01:08:37,028 --> 01:08:39,865 Stop fooling around up there and watch. 1217 01:08:43,201 --> 01:08:45,936 Tada! See you next year. 1218 01:08:46,938 --> 01:08:48,506 Gotta let it go, son. 1219 01:08:55,912 --> 01:08:57,114 Hey! 1220 01:08:57,649 --> 01:08:58,884 Where are you going? 1221 01:08:59,283 --> 01:09:00,317 Hey! 1222 01:09:01,018 --> 01:09:02,386 What's your name? 1223 01:09:15,667 --> 01:09:18,302 Oh, no. You went to Red Lobster? 1224 01:09:18,435 --> 01:09:20,403 - Yeah. - We go there all the time. 1225 01:09:20,938 --> 01:09:24,842 - They got cheddar biscuits. - Should've gone to Red Robin. 1226 01:09:24,975 --> 01:09:26,311 Bottomless fries. 1227 01:09:26,610 --> 01:09:29,012 I make an exception to the carb rule for French fries. 1228 01:09:29,380 --> 01:09:31,750 Right, because I can't even eat Lobster. 1229 01:09:32,149 --> 01:09:33,918 I got that puff puff in my bag. 1230 01:09:34,051 --> 01:09:36,987 - I'm so allergic... - Beyonc� is not funny. 1231 01:09:37,121 --> 01:09:38,789 My Grandma loves Beyonc�. 1232 01:09:43,394 --> 01:09:45,429 Wanna know the real feminist? 1233 01:09:45,563 --> 01:09:47,864 - Taylor swift. - Josephine Baker. 1234 01:09:47,998 --> 01:09:49,800 - Who's that? - Google? 1235 01:09:49,934 --> 01:09:51,534 I just sent you the repeat. 1236 01:09:51,868 --> 01:09:53,103 Did you just text Al 1237 01:09:53,238 --> 01:09:54,472 - that I'm not fun? - No. 1238 01:09:54,605 --> 01:09:56,974 First, I am fun. Second, I'm very fun. 1239 01:09:57,108 --> 01:09:59,176 Stop shooting those stupid things. 1240 01:09:59,310 --> 01:10:01,546 - Don't point that at me! No! - Incoming! 1241 01:10:06,184 --> 01:10:07,252 Ah! 1242 01:10:07,385 --> 01:10:09,619 - Hello? - Is somebody there? 1243 01:10:10,186 --> 01:10:11,622 Go see who it is! 1244 01:10:11,889 --> 01:10:13,324 - You go! - It's probably Vern. 1245 01:10:13,457 --> 01:10:14,991 - Estevez! - Hey, Vern! 1246 01:10:15,126 --> 01:10:16,027 - Vern? - Hello? 1247 01:10:16,159 --> 01:10:17,295 Kitty? 1248 01:10:22,065 --> 01:10:24,568 - You're not Vern. - No. Sorry. 1249 01:10:24,702 --> 01:10:27,003 - Who are you? - Are you spying on us? 1250 01:10:27,137 --> 01:10:28,672 He looks like Ed Sheeran. 1251 01:10:28,805 --> 01:10:32,143 - Why are you spying, Ed Sheeran? - I'm not Ed Sheeran. 1252 01:10:32,277 --> 01:10:33,877 - I'm Rudy. - Why are you spying on us, Rudy? 1253 01:10:34,011 --> 01:10:37,181 I was just walking by. I heard your conversation. 1254 01:10:37,414 --> 01:10:38,716 It was interesting. 1255 01:10:39,684 --> 01:10:41,286 I'm sorry. I'll go. 1256 01:10:41,586 --> 01:10:44,456 - Do you have any beer? - At my house, and I have eggnog. 1257 01:10:44,588 --> 01:10:46,957 Why are you wearing that outfit? Is it a costume? 1258 01:10:47,091 --> 01:10:48,559 The hat? 1259 01:10:48,692 --> 01:10:50,527 - He always dresses like that. - Do you know this guy? 1260 01:10:50,661 --> 01:10:53,097 - No. - Yes. I see him on the train. 1261 01:10:53,230 --> 01:10:55,231 I think he's cute. Like an elf. 1262 01:10:55,599 --> 01:10:57,668 Come inside. Would you like something to drink? 1263 01:10:57,801 --> 01:10:58,969 Do you have any cocoa? 1264 01:11:01,972 --> 01:11:04,576 - Please? - Okay, okay. 1265 01:11:07,345 --> 01:11:08,880 So, what you say your name is? 1266 01:11:09,012 --> 01:11:10,247 - Rudy. - Sup, Rudy? 1267 01:11:10,381 --> 01:11:11,615 You have eggnog. That's for Christmas. 1268 01:11:11,748 --> 01:11:13,717 - I like Christmas. - "I like Christmas"! 1269 01:11:13,850 --> 01:11:16,086 - Check this guy out! - Don't pay any attention to him. 1270 01:11:16,220 --> 01:11:17,555 - I like Christmas too. - You do? 1271 01:11:17,689 --> 01:11:20,057 Who doesn't like Christmas? I'm Molly. 1272 01:11:20,190 --> 01:11:21,591 - This is Al. - I'm Hall. 1273 01:11:21,725 --> 01:11:24,929 That's Estevez. And Nelson's making the cocoa. 1274 01:11:25,261 --> 01:11:27,599 Rudy wants to say something. Say it, Rudy. 1275 01:11:27,731 --> 01:11:29,466 Those are the actors in The Breakfast Club. 1276 01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:30,935 - We know. - That's weird. 1277 01:11:31,069 --> 01:11:32,470 Says the guy dressed like an elf. 1278 01:11:32,603 --> 01:11:34,105 No, I like it. The Breakfast Club is good. 1279 01:11:34,238 --> 01:11:35,705 It's not a Christmas movie, but I like it. 1280 01:11:35,838 --> 01:11:37,509 Are you guys just super into the movie or something? 1281 01:11:37,641 --> 01:11:39,844 It's a coincidence. Those are our real names. 1282 01:11:39,976 --> 01:11:41,679 - Okay. - Are you judging? 1283 01:11:41,811 --> 01:11:43,113 - No. - Good. 1284 01:11:43,247 --> 01:11:44,448 Because you see us how you want to see us. 1285 01:11:44,582 --> 01:11:46,017 In the most simplest terms. 1286 01:11:46,150 --> 01:11:47,751 In the most convenient definitions. 1287 01:11:47,885 --> 01:11:51,389 But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, 1288 01:11:51,523 --> 01:11:55,793 an athlete, a basket case, a princess, 1289 01:11:55,926 --> 01:11:57,695 and a criminal. 1290 01:11:57,962 --> 01:12:01,031 - Does that answer your question? - What question? 1291 01:12:01,164 --> 01:12:02,399 Exactly. 1292 01:12:02,533 --> 01:12:03,534 And why do you have eggnog in February, 1293 01:12:03,667 --> 01:12:05,302 Mr. Ed Sheeran peeping Tom guy? 1294 01:12:05,435 --> 01:12:07,203 - It was for my Christmas party. - It's Valentine's. 1295 01:12:07,337 --> 01:12:09,305 - You're having a party? - Yeah but I left. 1296 01:12:09,439 --> 01:12:10,540 Do you spy on people all the time? 1297 01:12:10,673 --> 01:12:12,710 - No! - Dude left his own party. 1298 01:12:12,842 --> 01:12:14,211 That's hardcore. 1299 01:12:14,345 --> 01:12:15,679 Nobody came. One person came. She's my friend. 1300 01:12:15,813 --> 01:12:17,614 Was my friend, I guess. I was mean to her. 1301 01:12:17,748 --> 01:12:20,451 Nobody came to your party. 1302 01:12:20,583 --> 01:12:22,819 Why were you mean to her? What did you do? 1303 01:12:22,953 --> 01:12:24,255 Did she look like an elf too? 1304 01:12:24,387 --> 01:12:25,655 - You hit her, didn't you? - You hit an elf? 1305 01:12:25,789 --> 01:12:28,426 Now, violence, statistically speaking... 1306 01:12:28,559 --> 01:12:30,594 She doesn't look like an elf. She looks like a cat. 1307 01:12:30,728 --> 01:12:32,529 - You hit a cat? - No, I didn't hit her. 1308 01:12:32,662 --> 01:12:34,198 Did you poke her with a really sharp candy cane? 1309 01:12:34,332 --> 01:12:35,499 - That would hurt! - No, I yelled at her. 1310 01:12:35,632 --> 01:12:37,234 She brought me Valentine's candy. 1311 01:12:37,368 --> 01:12:39,337 Yelled at her for bringing Valentine's Day candy? 1312 01:12:39,470 --> 01:12:40,804 I don't blame you. 1313 01:12:40,938 --> 01:12:42,605 That cheap stuff you get at Fred Meyer is toxic. 1314 01:12:42,739 --> 01:12:44,041 Have you guys been to that place called 1315 01:12:44,175 --> 01:12:45,376 the Meadow on Mississippi? 1316 01:12:45,510 --> 01:12:46,811 So good. 1317 01:12:46,944 --> 01:12:49,412 Even if it is Fred Meyer chocolate, you say thank you. 1318 01:12:49,546 --> 01:12:51,749 And you don't even eat it... until you're alone. 1319 01:12:51,882 --> 01:12:53,449 It was a Christmas party! 1320 01:12:53,583 --> 01:12:56,820 - It's Valentine's. - It was a Christmas party. 1321 01:12:56,953 --> 01:12:58,822 Wow. Okay. 1322 01:13:09,100 --> 01:13:10,568 Hot chocolate. 1323 01:13:10,835 --> 01:13:12,170 Al. 1324 01:13:13,069 --> 01:13:14,271 Estevez. 1325 01:13:15,104 --> 01:13:16,239 Rudy. 1326 01:13:16,606 --> 01:13:17,641 Molly. 1327 01:13:19,076 --> 01:13:21,878 To old friends, and new friends. 1328 01:13:22,012 --> 01:13:23,314 Cheers! 1329 01:13:23,447 --> 01:13:25,315 Merry Christmas! 1330 01:13:25,448 --> 01:13:27,216 Obsessed much? Not healthy. 1331 01:13:27,350 --> 01:13:28,351 That's what I hear. 1332 01:13:28,985 --> 01:13:32,256 So, Rudy, was the girl who brought chocolate 1333 01:13:32,390 --> 01:13:33,691 and looks like a cat your girlfriend? 1334 01:13:33,823 --> 01:13:36,059 I don't know. I never had a girlfriend before. 1335 01:13:36,194 --> 01:13:37,395 Do you feel friendzoned? 1336 01:13:37,528 --> 01:13:38,929 Story of my life. 1337 01:13:39,061 --> 01:13:41,532 Rudy can turn it around, if he wants to. Can't you, Rudy? 1338 01:13:41,664 --> 01:13:43,900 My mom's therapist would like that. 1339 01:13:44,033 --> 01:13:46,737 - What would you like? - I like this hot chocolate. 1340 01:13:46,871 --> 01:13:49,907 At home, I put marshmallows and rain sprinkles on top. 1341 01:13:50,041 --> 01:13:51,409 That was deflection. 1342 01:13:51,542 --> 01:13:53,377 I wish men would just be honest. 1343 01:13:53,510 --> 01:13:55,880 Have you ever met an honest man? 1344 01:13:56,014 --> 01:13:57,148 - Never. - Hello? 1345 01:13:57,280 --> 01:13:58,615 You wish. 1346 01:13:59,050 --> 01:14:01,952 What would you wish for, Rudy, if you could wish for anything? 1347 01:14:02,720 --> 01:14:05,423 I wish it was Christmas every day. For everyone. 1348 01:14:05,556 --> 01:14:07,891 Do you ever talk about anything else? 1349 01:14:08,592 --> 01:14:10,728 What is it about Christmas that you like? 1350 01:14:10,862 --> 01:14:13,262 Everything! Don't you like Christmas? 1351 01:14:13,497 --> 01:14:14,832 It's one of my favorite holidays. 1352 01:14:14,966 --> 01:14:16,700 Christmas isn't a holiday. 1353 01:14:16,934 --> 01:14:18,869 If it's not a holiday, what is it? 1354 01:14:19,002 --> 01:14:21,404 Christmas is a feeling. 1355 01:14:21,872 --> 01:14:23,539 A perfect... 1356 01:14:23,673 --> 01:14:24,442 feeling. 1357 01:14:24,574 --> 01:14:25,742 Christmas is life. 1358 01:14:25,876 --> 01:14:28,346 Christmas is the opposite of gray. 1359 01:14:28,712 --> 01:14:30,046 Gray days. 1360 01:14:30,881 --> 01:14:33,818 Everybody is at their best at Christmas. 1361 01:14:34,150 --> 01:14:35,853 Everybody is kind. 1362 01:14:36,153 --> 01:14:37,621 Everybody's forgiving. 1363 01:14:38,154 --> 01:14:39,623 Everybody's honest. 1364 01:14:39,756 --> 01:14:43,260 Why can't you be kind, forgiving and honest all year? 1365 01:14:43,394 --> 01:14:46,664 Are you kind, forgiving, and honest? 1366 01:14:47,064 --> 01:14:48,099 Yes. 1367 01:14:48,765 --> 01:14:50,933 Was it kind to yell at Clarice? 1368 01:14:51,068 --> 01:14:52,537 No. 1369 01:14:54,037 --> 01:14:57,006 Is it forgiving to expect your mother to be someone she isn't? 1370 01:14:57,140 --> 01:14:58,641 No. 1371 01:14:58,775 --> 01:15:00,777 Is it honest to keep things that don't belong to you? 1372 01:15:00,911 --> 01:15:02,046 No. 1373 01:15:02,180 --> 01:15:04,548 No wonder everyone disappoints you. 1374 01:15:04,881 --> 01:15:07,417 You can't even live up to your own ideals. 1375 01:15:07,650 --> 01:15:10,421 Nobody's perfect. People aren't perfect. 1376 01:15:10,554 --> 01:15:12,957 So shines a light on a weary world. 1377 01:15:13,390 --> 01:15:15,525 Actually, if you're going Willy Wonka, 1378 01:15:15,658 --> 01:15:19,429 - it's "So shines a good deed"... - Do you mind? 1379 01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:25,369 It seems to me that all you're really trying to do 1380 01:15:25,502 --> 01:15:26,804 having Christmas every day, 1381 01:15:26,936 --> 01:15:29,407 is to hold up in your little gingerbread house 1382 01:15:29,539 --> 01:15:32,376 and recapture that one special moment in your life. 1383 01:15:32,510 --> 01:15:34,278 When you thought the world was right. 1384 01:15:34,412 --> 01:15:35,813 The world was right. 1385 01:15:35,945 --> 01:15:37,680 You always knew your dad wasn't coming back. 1386 01:15:37,814 --> 01:15:40,218 You don't have to worry about people being mean to you. 1387 01:15:40,685 --> 01:15:43,121 Abandoning you like you're nothing. 1388 01:15:43,488 --> 01:15:45,389 Is that how you see yourself? 1389 01:15:45,523 --> 01:15:47,891 That's how everybody sees me. 1390 01:15:48,158 --> 01:15:49,360 Not Clarice. 1391 01:15:49,493 --> 01:15:51,661 She's nice right now but in the end, 1392 01:15:51,795 --> 01:15:53,364 she'll just make fun of me. 1393 01:15:53,497 --> 01:15:56,934 Because you pretend it's Christmas Day, every day? 1394 01:15:57,067 --> 01:15:58,636 I do not pretend. 1395 01:15:58,769 --> 01:16:02,105 - Because Christmas is not a day. - Boy, you're too frustrating. 1396 01:16:02,238 --> 01:16:03,607 You're giving me sciatica. 1397 01:16:03,740 --> 01:16:05,576 Somebody like you could never understand 1398 01:16:05,710 --> 01:16:07,711 what it's like to be somebody like me. 1399 01:16:07,845 --> 01:16:11,014 The drama queen award goes to... 1400 01:16:11,148 --> 01:16:12,417 you! 1401 01:16:12,550 --> 01:16:14,719 I feel funny. 1402 01:16:15,819 --> 01:16:18,387 Did you put something in my cocoa? 1403 01:16:18,521 --> 01:16:20,457 Yes. 1404 01:16:20,591 --> 01:16:23,995 - What? - Just a little Christmas magic. 1405 01:16:24,627 --> 01:16:26,831 Simmer down. 1406 01:16:32,536 --> 01:16:34,072 Who's there? 1407 01:16:35,238 --> 01:16:36,639 This looks familiar. 1408 01:16:36,774 --> 01:16:38,109 - How did we... - Where are we? 1409 01:16:38,242 --> 01:16:40,077 I don't know. We should go. 1410 01:16:40,211 --> 01:16:41,779 Go where? We're already here. 1411 01:16:41,912 --> 01:16:44,248 Boy, would you look around and tell me where you think you are? 1412 01:16:44,381 --> 01:16:46,550 I went through a lot of trouble to make this happen. 1413 01:16:46,684 --> 01:16:48,386 This is the house I lived in! 1414 01:16:48,752 --> 01:16:51,788 When I was a kid. I still have that tree. 1415 01:16:52,222 --> 01:16:54,225 Look how perfect everything is. 1416 01:16:54,591 --> 01:16:56,692 - Christmas! - Who's that? 1417 01:16:56,827 --> 01:16:59,597 Lord, for somebody as obsessed with Christmas 1418 01:16:59,729 --> 01:17:02,932 and you are obsessed, you are thicker than Ashanti. 1419 01:17:03,067 --> 01:17:04,402 And that girl is thick. 1420 01:17:04,635 --> 01:17:07,404 Right round here. Right on that middle section. 1421 01:17:07,537 --> 01:17:10,339 I don't know how much money she spends on clothes but... 1422 01:17:10,673 --> 01:17:12,975 I mean, she does look good. She must have a... 1423 01:17:13,377 --> 01:17:16,713 - deal with the devil. - We are gonna get arrested. 1424 01:17:16,846 --> 01:17:19,015 Luckily for one of us, that's not true. 1425 01:17:19,149 --> 01:17:20,917 - Rudy? - Yes, Mom? 1426 01:17:21,051 --> 01:17:22,653 Oh, now you're getting it. 1427 01:17:22,786 --> 01:17:25,088 Really because I don't feel like I'm getting it. 1428 01:17:25,221 --> 01:17:26,789 Oh, for goodness sake. Get dressed. 1429 01:17:26,923 --> 01:17:28,859 - Where's Daddy? - He left. 1430 01:17:28,993 --> 01:17:30,361 Why? 1431 01:17:30,493 --> 01:17:33,195 Don't worry. He'll be back. He can't get along without me. 1432 01:17:33,329 --> 01:17:34,765 We just have to show him 1433 01:17:34,899 --> 01:17:36,634 how much better it is when everything is perfect. 1434 01:17:36,766 --> 01:17:38,536 Then he'll want to come back and be perfect too. 1435 01:17:38,668 --> 01:17:40,704 Doesn't he love us anymore? 1436 01:17:41,104 --> 01:17:42,305 Mom. 1437 01:17:42,439 --> 01:17:44,442 We're not here. She can't hear you. 1438 01:17:44,574 --> 01:17:46,076 I thought you said you were getting this. 1439 01:17:46,208 --> 01:17:47,510 I didn't say that. 1440 01:17:47,644 --> 01:17:49,012 I have to give Daddy my Christmas present. 1441 01:17:49,145 --> 01:17:51,614 - It's socks. - He doesn't want presents. 1442 01:17:51,747 --> 01:17:53,549 - Yes he does. - Not today! 1443 01:17:53,684 --> 01:17:55,052 Can I give it to him tomorrow? 1444 01:17:55,185 --> 01:17:57,987 I don't know. Look at me, Rudy. Remember this. 1445 01:17:58,122 --> 01:18:00,391 Less than perfect is never good enough. 1446 01:18:00,524 --> 01:18:02,326 Promise me you'll remember that. 1447 01:18:02,458 --> 01:18:03,860 Okay. Mom? 1448 01:18:04,161 --> 01:18:06,462 Oh, for goodness sake, get dressed. 1449 01:18:06,595 --> 01:18:07,864 What is perfect? 1450 01:18:08,298 --> 01:18:11,268 When something is the very best it can be. 1451 01:18:11,400 --> 01:18:12,568 Including people. 1452 01:18:12,703 --> 01:18:13,737 Is Christmas perfect? 1453 01:18:13,869 --> 01:18:15,471 Not this Christmas. 1454 01:18:15,605 --> 01:18:17,273 Then we can do it better tomorrow. 1455 01:18:17,407 --> 01:18:19,409 I promise. I'll try really hard. 1456 01:18:19,543 --> 01:18:21,545 Tomorrow is not Christmas. 1457 01:18:21,679 --> 01:18:23,948 I bet it can be if you wish hard enough. 1458 01:18:24,614 --> 01:18:25,782 What are you doing? 1459 01:18:26,048 --> 01:18:28,551 Wishing it was Christmas every day! 1460 01:18:28,685 --> 01:18:30,520 Go get dressed! 1461 01:18:30,654 --> 01:18:32,289 - Mom? - Yes? 1462 01:18:32,422 --> 01:18:33,858 Am I perfect? 1463 01:18:34,358 --> 01:18:36,627 No. Not when you're still in your pajamas 1464 01:18:36,761 --> 01:18:38,595 after I've told you twice to get dressed. 1465 01:18:38,729 --> 01:18:41,999 You are most definitely not perfect. 1466 01:18:43,300 --> 01:18:44,335 That... 1467 01:18:44,801 --> 01:18:46,702 was a moment. 1468 01:18:47,069 --> 01:18:48,005 Yeah. 1469 01:18:51,408 --> 01:18:54,244 It's so disorienting the way we just pop from place to place. 1470 01:18:54,377 --> 01:18:57,247 - Why isn't he in a car seat? - Hush, I'm trying to hear 1471 01:18:57,381 --> 01:18:59,750 what your mom and that man are fighting about. 1472 01:18:59,884 --> 01:19:02,653 This is like a Hallmark movie. 1473 01:19:02,786 --> 01:19:04,354 But with black people. 1474 01:19:04,787 --> 01:19:06,489 Me, Rudolph. I'm talking about me. 1475 01:19:06,622 --> 01:19:08,125 Hey, there's my snow globe. 1476 01:19:08,257 --> 01:19:10,594 - I loved that thing. - Would you hush? 1477 01:19:10,728 --> 01:19:12,430 I wish it would be Christmas every day 1478 01:19:12,563 --> 01:19:13,730 till Daddy comes home. 1479 01:19:13,997 --> 01:19:16,500 Then everything will be perfect again. 1480 01:19:18,668 --> 01:19:21,604 Is that not the saddest little thing you've ever heard? 1481 01:19:21,738 --> 01:19:23,306 I tried to make it perfect. 1482 01:19:23,439 --> 01:19:26,009 I want to give Daddy his Christmas present. 1483 01:19:26,143 --> 01:19:28,078 Your daddy said to tell you you're very spoiled, 1484 01:19:28,212 --> 01:19:29,947 and that you have too many toys, and that there are 1485 01:19:30,079 --> 01:19:32,015 a lot of boys and girls who don't have any toys at all, 1486 01:19:32,149 --> 01:19:34,218 and that he'll come back just as soon as you're a good boy 1487 01:19:34,351 --> 01:19:36,720 and learn what Christmas is really about. 1488 01:19:36,987 --> 01:19:39,355 What is Christmas really about? 1489 01:19:39,489 --> 01:19:40,523 Ask your father. 1490 01:19:40,657 --> 01:19:44,194 That's cold. 1491 01:19:44,328 --> 01:19:45,296 When he comes home? 1492 01:19:45,429 --> 01:19:46,363 Oh, yes. 1493 01:19:46,497 --> 01:19:48,298 He was never coming home. 1494 01:19:49,632 --> 01:19:52,036 Sounds like a loop. Moving on. 1495 01:19:56,774 --> 01:19:58,309 Hello? 1496 01:19:58,975 --> 01:20:00,877 Hello, Miss Rotnase. 1497 01:20:01,412 --> 01:20:03,213 Rudy isn't here right now. 1498 01:20:03,780 --> 01:20:05,148 I'm not sure. 1499 01:20:05,515 --> 01:20:07,184 He went out. Uhm. 1500 01:20:08,085 --> 01:20:09,987 - I can have him call you. - Would you? 1501 01:20:10,121 --> 01:20:11,454 Thank you, dear. 1502 01:20:11,854 --> 01:20:13,323 Oh, Clarice, 1503 01:20:13,457 --> 01:20:15,226 you two don't have plans for tomorrow night, do you? 1504 01:20:15,826 --> 01:20:17,828 Oh, good. I didn't think so. 1505 01:20:18,395 --> 01:20:20,362 Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't bring it up. 1506 01:20:20,497 --> 01:20:23,500 I'm sure you'll find something to do. You have friends. 1507 01:20:23,966 --> 01:20:26,702 Rudy and I have a standing date for Valentine's Day. 1508 01:20:26,837 --> 01:20:28,539 He looks so forward to it. 1509 01:20:31,608 --> 01:20:33,110 Isn't that sweet? 1510 01:20:33,243 --> 01:20:35,112 You'd rather be with mom on Valentine's Day 1511 01:20:35,244 --> 01:20:37,380 than that nice, white girl with the cat ears. 1512 01:20:37,514 --> 01:20:40,217 - Mom kinda expects it. - I bet you're gonna try 1513 01:20:40,350 --> 01:20:42,686 to regift that box of chocolates Clarice brought you. 1514 01:20:42,819 --> 01:20:44,822 Rude. Give me that box. 1515 01:20:49,059 --> 01:20:49,760 Mmm. 1516 01:20:50,260 --> 01:20:52,730 Mmm, these are not from Fred Meyer. 1517 01:20:52,863 --> 01:20:54,164 - These are good. - You can eat that? 1518 01:20:54,297 --> 01:20:56,233 I thought we weren't really here. 1519 01:20:56,500 --> 01:20:58,735 I make exceptions for chocolate. 1520 01:21:01,005 --> 01:21:04,240 Not till you apologize to Clarice, Mr. Christmas every day 1521 01:21:04,375 --> 01:21:06,210 'cause it's all about love and forgiveness. 1522 01:21:06,577 --> 01:21:09,747 Fool wouldn't know love if it bit him the back pocket. 1523 01:21:09,880 --> 01:21:12,215 That's where you put Clarice's Valentine card. 1524 01:21:12,349 --> 01:21:13,317 Read it. 1525 01:21:16,720 --> 01:21:19,023 That's not a real Christmas card. 1526 01:21:20,856 --> 01:21:22,225 That's annoying. 1527 01:21:22,359 --> 01:21:24,160 You know what angels do when things are annoying? 1528 01:21:24,627 --> 01:21:26,063 - Snap out of it! - Ow! 1529 01:21:26,195 --> 01:21:29,131 - All glory to Cher. - Ow! 1530 01:21:29,265 --> 01:21:31,533 Everybody gets one wish in this life. 1531 01:21:31,900 --> 01:21:33,502 Don't screw it up. 1532 01:21:33,636 --> 01:21:35,104 I already did. 1533 01:21:35,238 --> 01:21:36,672 Then, fix it! 1534 01:21:36,806 --> 01:21:38,841 Boy, you're not 20. 1535 01:21:39,076 --> 01:21:40,543 You're not even 30. 1536 01:21:40,677 --> 01:21:42,778 In fact, 40 might be generous. 1537 01:21:42,912 --> 01:21:44,780 You ever heard of moisturizer? 1538 01:21:45,114 --> 01:21:46,783 That's your answer right there. 1539 01:21:46,917 --> 01:21:49,186 You gotta keep things soft, and supple, and smooth, 1540 01:21:49,319 --> 01:21:51,621 and nice to the touching. Damn, I look good! 1541 01:21:52,255 --> 01:21:55,826 - You know how old I am? - Are we still talking about me? 1542 01:21:56,527 --> 01:21:57,795 Figure it out, Rudy. 1543 01:21:57,927 --> 01:21:59,429 Before it's too late. 1544 01:21:59,563 --> 01:22:02,465 And that nasty little dog of yours eats your face off. 1545 01:22:02,599 --> 01:22:03,868 Prancer? 1546 01:22:04,001 --> 01:22:05,836 It's Valentine's Day! 1547 01:22:05,969 --> 01:22:07,436 I don't wanna be your Valentine. 1548 01:22:07,569 --> 01:22:08,605 I'm the crazy one. 1549 01:22:10,006 --> 01:22:11,375 Are you okay? 1550 01:22:11,609 --> 01:22:13,143 Yeah. Hi. 1551 01:22:13,277 --> 01:22:15,011 - Who are you? - What are you doing? 1552 01:22:15,145 --> 01:22:16,646 - Does somebody know this guy? - Hold on. 1553 01:22:16,779 --> 01:22:18,347 He may have a concussion. 1554 01:22:18,614 --> 01:22:20,650 Can you get on your feet, buddy? 1555 01:22:20,783 --> 01:22:22,585 Would you like something to drink? 1556 01:22:22,851 --> 01:22:24,654 - How about some cocoa? - No. 1557 01:22:24,787 --> 01:22:27,623 - No cocoa. - We got a fire over here. 1558 01:22:27,757 --> 01:22:29,158 Come hang out. Get warm. 1559 01:22:29,292 --> 01:22:31,862 - We're all out of beer, though. - I have beer. 1560 01:22:32,328 --> 01:22:33,430 At my house. 1561 01:22:34,564 --> 01:22:36,133 And I have eggnog. 1562 01:22:37,068 --> 01:22:40,637 What's wrong with me? I have eggnog, 1563 01:22:40,770 --> 01:22:43,007 and it's not even Christmas. 1564 01:22:43,773 --> 01:22:45,009 And... 1565 01:22:46,710 --> 01:22:48,412 I have a girlfriend. 1566 01:22:50,980 --> 01:22:52,849 She loves me. 1567 01:22:55,551 --> 01:22:56,953 I gotta go. 1568 01:22:59,021 --> 01:23:01,992 You guys want to come to a party at my house? 1569 01:23:03,560 --> 01:23:06,096 I'm in love! 1570 01:23:06,229 --> 01:23:10,500 Do you have egg-free eggnog? I'm ovo-adverse. 1571 01:23:25,649 --> 01:23:28,152 There you are! 1572 01:23:29,118 --> 01:23:31,621 I love the eggnog. Love it! 1573 01:23:31,755 --> 01:23:32,889 I'm a little tipsy. 1574 01:23:33,122 --> 01:23:35,158 Wow. I knew you were talented 1575 01:23:35,292 --> 01:23:36,860 but I didn't realize you were this talented. 1576 01:23:36,993 --> 01:23:38,562 This place is amazing. 1577 01:23:38,962 --> 01:23:40,863 You do all this on a dishwasher salary? 1578 01:23:41,564 --> 01:23:44,534 - I'm paying you too much! - Craigslist, free section. 1579 01:23:44,667 --> 01:23:46,001 I'm gonna have to fire you. 1580 01:23:46,136 --> 01:23:47,871 Get in the pants you need. 1581 01:23:48,137 --> 01:23:50,573 You've got professional grade style, soldier. 1582 01:23:50,707 --> 01:23:52,409 - Own it! - Owned. 1583 01:24:10,426 --> 01:24:11,828 I'm sorry. 1584 01:24:12,395 --> 01:24:13,362 No, I'm sorry. 1585 01:24:13,630 --> 01:24:15,532 I was rude. 1586 01:24:15,664 --> 01:24:17,167 Do you forgive me? 1587 01:24:17,300 --> 01:24:18,967 I shouldn't have tried to make you do Valentine's Day. 1588 01:24:19,101 --> 01:24:21,037 Yes, you should. It's... 1589 01:24:21,337 --> 01:24:23,939 Happy Valentine's Day, Clarice. 1590 01:24:24,073 --> 01:24:25,942 Chocolate? 1591 01:24:27,010 --> 01:24:28,712 Somebody already had one. 1592 01:24:28,845 --> 01:24:31,146 Clarice, this is Nelson. He's my friend. 1593 01:24:31,280 --> 01:24:32,815 - Nelson, this is... - Janet. 1594 01:24:32,949 --> 01:24:35,485 - It's Clarice. - Enchant�. 1595 01:24:36,886 --> 01:24:38,255 How nice. 1596 01:24:39,023 --> 01:24:41,559 What charming underclothes you both have on. 1597 01:24:45,395 --> 01:24:46,396 Mom! 1598 01:24:47,029 --> 01:24:49,032 You have people. I wasn't exp... 1599 01:24:49,164 --> 01:24:52,269 - Oh, hello Clarice. - Hello, Mrs. Rotnase. 1600 01:24:52,402 --> 01:24:53,502 Merry Christmas! 1601 01:24:54,270 --> 01:24:56,472 Mom, come meet all my friends. 1602 01:24:56,606 --> 01:24:58,108 Oh, no, no. I can't stay. 1603 01:24:58,242 --> 01:24:59,309 You don't want me here. 1604 01:24:59,443 --> 01:25:01,211 Of course I do. You're my mom. 1605 01:25:01,345 --> 01:25:03,579 - I love you. - I love you too, dear. 1606 01:25:04,180 --> 01:25:06,682 I'm sorry. I have been terrible. 1607 01:25:06,817 --> 01:25:07,885 No. Don't say that. 1608 01:25:08,118 --> 01:25:09,252 You weren't. 1609 01:25:09,386 --> 01:25:10,954 I used to think that about myself 1610 01:25:11,087 --> 01:25:13,157 for a long time and it's not true. 1611 01:25:13,524 --> 01:25:14,423 I'm all right. 1612 01:25:14,791 --> 01:25:16,092 We're all right. 1613 01:25:16,458 --> 01:25:17,493 Not... 1614 01:25:17,895 --> 01:25:19,162 - perfect. - Far from perfect. 1615 01:25:19,296 --> 01:25:21,731 Your father would be very proud of you. 1616 01:25:22,332 --> 01:25:24,934 Listen, I just stopped by to talk to Clarice. 1617 01:25:25,068 --> 01:25:26,170 You know, woman to cat. 1618 01:25:26,302 --> 01:25:27,970 Hi, kitten! 1619 01:25:28,404 --> 01:25:30,340 You wanted to talk to me, Miss Rotnase? 1620 01:25:30,474 --> 01:25:31,574 Call me Donna. 1621 01:25:32,141 --> 01:25:34,610 After we spoke, I realized... 1622 01:25:34,845 --> 01:25:36,313 I was being selfish. 1623 01:25:36,546 --> 01:25:39,583 A boy doesn't wanna be with his mother on Valentine's Day. 1624 01:25:39,850 --> 01:25:42,719 Valentine's is something his father and I would... 1625 01:25:43,185 --> 01:25:44,921 You'll always be my girl. 1626 01:27:05,268 --> 01:27:07,136 ? One two three four ? 1627 01:27:09,539 --> 01:27:13,310 ? I don't even care If it isn't really Christmas ? 1628 01:27:15,746 --> 01:27:19,449 ? I don't even care If it isn't really Christmas ? 1629 01:27:21,451 --> 01:27:23,286 ? I want a Christmas Pizza party ? 1630 01:27:23,420 --> 01:27:25,121 ? Fancy cheeses like havarti ? 1631 01:27:25,255 --> 01:27:27,658 ? Tinsel trees endowed with bos Ornaments on my toes ? 1632 01:27:27,791 --> 01:27:30,961 ? Wrapping paper everywhere Friends are flying in the air ? 1633 01:27:31,094 --> 01:27:32,563 ? Everybody have some fun ? 1634 01:27:32,695 --> 01:27:34,096 ? The Christmas season's Just begun ? 1635 01:27:34,230 --> 01:27:35,631 ? Cookies, candies, caramel ? 1636 01:27:35,765 --> 01:27:37,434 ? Cranberry sauce Is hard to sell ? 1637 01:27:37,567 --> 01:27:38,868 ? Of course I like A roasted turkey ? 1638 01:27:39,002 --> 01:27:40,637 ? But I am a little quirky ? 1639 01:27:40,770 --> 01:27:42,906 ? Pepperoni pizza Is the reason for the season ? 1640 01:27:43,038 --> 01:27:45,541 ? Christmas, Clarice A Christmas pizza, Clarice ? 1641 01:27:45,676 --> 01:27:48,845 ? A Christmas pizza, Clarice A Christmas pizza, Clarice ? 1642 01:27:48,978 --> 01:27:55,452 - ? I'll share my piece ? - That's so nice of you! 1643 01:27:55,585 --> 01:28:01,091 - ? With my Clarice ? - Hey, thanks! 1644 01:28:01,625 --> 01:28:03,860 ? Eat it in a cemetery It's very scary ? 1645 01:28:03,993 --> 01:28:07,130 ? Merry Christmas, Clarice Merry Christmas, Clarice ? 1646 01:28:07,262 --> 01:28:08,898 ? Merry Christmas Clarice ? 1647 01:28:09,032 --> 01:28:10,667 Merry Christmas, Clarice! 1648 01:28:11,199 --> 01:28:12,367 And... 1649 01:28:12,702 --> 01:28:13,704 action! 1650 01:28:15,137 --> 01:28:16,907 Rudy Rotnase is offering Christmas joy 1651 01:28:17,039 --> 01:28:19,943 to residents of Moonracer's Assisted Living Center, 1652 01:28:20,076 --> 01:28:21,677 with a Christmas in July party. 1653 01:28:21,810 --> 01:28:24,012 It's kind of a misfit holiday for the summer. 1654 01:28:24,146 --> 01:28:25,148 Wouldn't you agree? 1655 01:28:25,614 --> 01:28:27,817 Why are you doing this for the residents, Rudy? 1656 01:28:27,949 --> 01:28:29,618 I like Christmas. 1657 01:28:30,052 --> 01:28:31,354 Obviously. 1658 01:28:31,487 --> 01:28:33,323 This is Dolly Muneca, reporting from Moonracer 1659 01:28:33,457 --> 01:28:35,458 Assisted Living Center on July 4th. 1660 01:28:35,725 --> 01:28:38,428 Happy Independence Day and Merry misfit Christmas. 1661 01:28:38,561 --> 01:28:44,367 ? There are 365 And a quarter days each year ? 1662 01:28:44,501 --> 01:28:50,673 ? But 364 And a quarter days each year ? 1663 01:28:50,940 --> 01:28:53,309 ? Just suck ? 1664 01:28:53,443 --> 01:28:57,380 ? They suck suck suck suck suck Suck suck suck suck suck ? 1665 01:28:57,780 --> 01:29:00,949 ? Christmas is the very best Christmas is the very best ? 1666 01:29:01,083 --> 01:29:04,253 - ? Christmas is the best day ? - Ho, ho, ho! 1667 01:29:04,387 --> 01:29:07,690 ? I don't hear what you say ? 1668 01:29:07,823 --> 01:29:10,759 ? About the other holidays ? 1669 01:29:10,894 --> 01:29:12,729 ? Like Valentine's And New Year's Day ? 1670 01:29:12,863 --> 01:29:14,530 ? Thanksgiving And Mother's Day ? 1671 01:29:14,664 --> 01:29:16,332 ? Father's Day And Cousin's Day ? 1672 01:29:16,466 --> 01:29:18,234 ? And Sister's day And Brother's Day ? 1673 01:29:18,368 --> 01:29:22,071 ? Tell me what's so great You gotta celebrate your DNA ? 1674 01:29:23,372 --> 01:29:27,476 ? Martin Luther King Day And Keep The Planet Green Day ? 1675 01:29:27,610 --> 01:29:29,613 ? Don't hate me Cause I feel this way ? 1676 01:29:29,746 --> 01:29:32,148 ? It's bullying awareness day ? 1677 01:29:32,282 --> 01:29:34,117 ? Flag Day, Labor Day ? 1678 01:29:34,251 --> 01:29:36,153 ? Arbor Day, Saturday ? 1679 01:29:36,286 --> 01:29:37,953 ? Apparently whatever Day ? 1680 01:29:38,087 --> 01:29:40,157 ? If you don't have To work that day ? 1681 01:29:41,891 --> 01:29:43,925 ? Halloween ? 1682 01:29:44,060 --> 01:29:45,696 ? Juneteenth ? 1683 01:29:45,828 --> 01:29:47,829 ? Day of prayer For the facial hair ? 1684 01:29:47,963 --> 01:29:49,932 ? Of wolverine ? 1685 01:29:50,199 --> 01:29:52,001 ? Wear Gorilla pants Day ? 1686 01:29:52,136 --> 01:29:53,870 ? Stare off in a trance Day ? 1687 01:29:54,002 --> 01:29:57,206 ? Get Up At The Beat Day To dance on Harvey Milk Day ? 1688 01:29:58,207 --> 01:30:00,108 ? You will survive ? 1689 01:30:00,243 --> 01:30:01,811 ? You will survive ? 1690 01:30:02,045 --> 01:30:04,113 ? You will survive ? 1691 01:30:04,247 --> 01:30:05,749 ? You will survive ? 1692 01:30:08,717 --> 01:30:10,386 ? Groundhog Day and Earth Day ? 1693 01:30:10,520 --> 01:30:11,921 ? Boxing Day And Lincoln's birthday ? 1694 01:30:12,054 --> 01:30:14,591 ? My birthday ? 1695 01:30:14,724 --> 01:30:18,327 ? And as for Independence Day ? 1696 01:30:18,694 --> 01:30:21,664 ? Just wave your flag And go away ? 1697 01:30:21,797 --> 01:30:23,733 ? Cause Christmas is The very best ? 1698 01:30:23,867 --> 01:30:25,467 ? Christmas is the very best ? 1699 01:30:25,601 --> 01:30:27,503 ? Christmas is the best day ? 1700 01:30:27,636 --> 01:30:29,639 - Ho, ho, ho! - ? Christmas party ? 1701 01:30:29,771 --> 01:30:31,407 ? Christmas party Christmas party ? 1702 01:30:31,541 --> 01:30:34,476 ? I want another Christmas Tonight ? 1703 01:30:34,610 --> 01:30:37,447 ? I want another Christmas Tonight ? 1704 01:30:37,747 --> 01:30:43,987 ? I want another Christmas Tonight ? 1705 01:30:44,121 --> 01:30:45,521 ? Christmas party ? 1706 01:30:45,654 --> 01:30:47,423 ? Christmas party Christmas party ? 1707 01:30:51,595 --> 01:30:55,899 Merry Christmas, and Happy Valentine's Day. 1708 01:31:02,625 --> 01:31:05,039 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 126255