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1
00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:02,002
[screams]
2
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:03,995
- Uh-huh.
- And how about here?
3
00:00:04,079 --> 00:00:05,212
[screams]
4
00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:06,739
Okay.
5
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:10,987
First, stop doing six months
of flossing
6
00:00:11,072 --> 00:00:13,330
the night before you see me.
You can't just catch up.
7
00:00:13,415 --> 00:00:14,329
Agree to disagree.
8
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:15,866
Second, your wisdom teeth
are infected.
9
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:17,891
- They need to come out.
- What? When?
10
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:20,418
- Today.
- [chuckles] No, I can't.
11
00:00:20,503 --> 00:00:22,902
Today is the Chili Cook-off at
the station, and I'm the judge.
12
00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:24,739
There's literally chili
in those teeth.
13
00:00:24,823 --> 00:00:26,160
They have to come out.
14
00:00:26,245 --> 00:00:28,245
Doc, listen, I've had
these teeth all my life.
15
00:00:28,330 --> 00:00:29,529
They fill out my mouth.
16
00:00:29,614 --> 00:00:31,013
They give me
a nice long chew-span.
17
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:33,030
I told you to do this
three years ago.
18
00:00:33,115 --> 00:00:33,922
Well, why didn't we?
19
00:00:34,007 --> 00:00:36,107
You said you were judging
a Pancake Cook-off.
20
00:00:36,234 --> 00:00:37,751
That's because I'm
a great Cook-off judge.
21
00:00:37,836 --> 00:00:39,754
And now they're infected.
22
00:00:39,838 --> 00:00:41,156
Fine. Let's do it.
23
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:42,757
- All right.
- I'll get you set up
24
00:00:42,841 --> 00:00:44,493
with plenty of pain killers
for post-surgery.
25
00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:47,111
I don't need it. I mean,
it's just oral surgery, right?
26
00:00:47,246 --> 00:00:48,831
It's, like,
the lamest surgery there is.
27
00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,365
- [chuckles]
- Careful.
28
00:00:50,449 --> 00:00:52,968
You could wake up with no teeth
in your mouth.
29
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:53,918
What?
30
00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:57,722
- [drill whirring]
- [chuckling]
31
00:00:57,856 --> 00:01:00,775
[slow-motion evil laughter]
32
00:01:00,859 --> 00:01:03,728
[Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"]
33
00:01:03,862 --> 00:01:08,065
[♪ ♪]
34
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,801
♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪
35
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:13,537
♪ Check it and see ♪
36
00:01:13,672 --> 00:01:17,007
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
37
00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:20,111
♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪
38
00:01:20,813 --> 00:01:22,613
[upbeat music]
39
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,216
The hunter-gatherers
have returned!
40
00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:28,352
And we come bearing
great quantities of meat.
41
00:01:28,487 --> 00:01:29,604
And sour cream.
42
00:01:29,688 --> 00:01:30,939
What are you watching, Cap?
43
00:01:31,023 --> 00:01:33,224
It's this cooking show
"Chef U.C.K."
44
00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:34,559
Ooh, I love that show.
45
00:01:34,693 --> 00:01:36,733
Somebody's reliving
the glory days.
46
00:01:38,297 --> 00:01:40,765
- Which ones?
- The Chili Cook-off, man.
47
00:01:40,899 --> 00:01:42,217
Just admit it.
You retired too soon.
48
00:01:42,301 --> 00:01:44,368
And now there's
a new sheriff in town.
49
00:01:44,503 --> 00:01:46,571
Two-time reigning Champion
50
00:01:46,705 --> 00:01:50,040
fighting Granny Smith!
51
00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:51,626
- [chuckles]
- [imitating crowd roaring]
52
00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:53,310
Okay, okay.
53
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:54,830
I crushed you at
the Chili Cook-off many times
54
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:56,031
before I retired.
55
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:57,432
That was when I was a boy.
56
00:01:57,516 --> 00:01:59,167
Face the man now.
You see?
57
00:01:59,251 --> 00:02:02,319
Yeah. Well, my seven Chili
Championships are behind me,
58
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,854
and I like being retired.
59
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:05,974
You're like Jordan, retiring
at the top of your game.
60
00:02:06,058 --> 00:02:07,976
That's right. Because there
were no more challenges,
61
00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:09,644
and there still wouldn't be.
62
00:02:09,728 --> 00:02:11,446
- Whoa. Whoa.
- Okay.
63
00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:13,181
And this year is gonna be
a little bit different
64
00:02:13,265 --> 00:02:15,800
because I got my uncle's
famous chili recipe,
65
00:02:15,934 --> 00:02:17,986
and I'm gonna blow
y'all out of the water.
66
00:02:18,070 --> 00:02:20,938
It's called... wait.
67
00:02:21,073 --> 00:02:23,740
It's called... oh, my God.
68
00:02:23,876 --> 00:02:25,660
You should try
a memory word-train.
69
00:02:25,744 --> 00:02:27,195
You say a word
70
00:02:27,279 --> 00:02:29,197
and it makes you think
of the next word and so on
71
00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:30,799
until you get back to the thing
you were trying to remember.
72
00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:32,200
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, I heard that.
73
00:02:32,284 --> 00:02:34,069
So you just, like,
say it like a word-train.
74
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:38,088
Like, like, chili, chili...
Chili dog, dog, doghouse,
75
00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:41,492
housework, work, work pants,
pants pocket...
76
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,079
Hey, my car keys. I didn't
even know these were lost.
77
00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:45,214
Thanks, Andy.
That works.
78
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:47,031
Glad I could help, I guess.
79
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:50,034
In honor of the 25th Annual
A Shift Chili Cook-off,
80
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:52,370
I got us a little upgrade.
81
00:02:54,373 --> 00:02:55,640
[chuckles]
82
00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:58,775
[angelic choir singing]
83
00:02:58,911 --> 00:03:01,896
both: Oh, shit.
The Chili Chalice.
84
00:03:01,980 --> 00:03:03,432
[chuckles]
85
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,900
I had them add some effects
down at TakeHomeA Trophy.
86
00:03:05,984 --> 00:03:07,584
It was 7 bucks.
87
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,438
50 bucks for insurance, but we
can split that or whatever.
88
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,389
Man, look, Cap,
you're all over this thing.
89
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,258
2016, Chili Wonka.
90
00:03:14,393 --> 00:03:16,994
Chili with a hint of
chocolate to melt your heart.
91
00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:18,462
2015, Chilary Swank,
92
00:03:18,597 --> 00:03:22,451
2014, Winston ChurChili,
2013, Chili Nelson.
93
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,453
Oh, yeah. That one
that gave you the munchies.
94
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,121
But look at this new
blank name space, though.
95
00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:27,322
I had them add another base
96
00:03:27,406 --> 00:03:28,857
so we can add
more names to it.
97
00:03:28,941 --> 00:03:31,141
All that empty space
after my name
98
00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:34,144
makes the Penisi era
look like ages ago.
99
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,532
And I'm okay with because
I'm retired. End of story.
100
00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:39,134
Hey, where's our judge?
101
00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,470
Lucy's driving him
from the dentist right now.
102
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,273
The dude just got
all his wisdom teeth removed.
103
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:46,891
- Is he gonna be able to judge?
- You tell me.
104
00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:49,894
Lucy just went live-streaming
on "Boi-oi-oing."
105
00:03:50,029 --> 00:03:51,495
[babbles incoherently]
106
00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:56,233
Lower seals! Lower seals!
[laughter]
107
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,086
Hey, it's a safari.
Wanna go on a safari?
108
00:03:58,170 --> 00:03:59,636
They got lions and tigers.
109
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:01,690
They got rhinoceroses.
They got wildebeests.
110
00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,159
Often they have safaris
on the Serengeti.
111
00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:05,560
Have you ever been
to Serengeti before?
112
00:04:05,644 --> 00:04:07,562
Man, these videos
are so embarrassing.
113
00:04:07,646 --> 00:04:09,164
I'm telling you, that's a good
lesson to young people,
114
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,499
- though, right?
- Yeah.
115
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,767
Stay away from the dentist.
116
00:04:12,851 --> 00:04:14,451
No, that's not the lesson.
117
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,705
I'm gonna get one of those
squirrel suits.
118
00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:17,906
You wear
a squirrel suit before?
119
00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:19,390
No, Dad.
120
00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,109
You can fly off cliffs
with 'em. They're skin tight.
121
00:04:21,193 --> 00:04:23,527
- Super tight. It's skin tight.
- [laughing]
122
00:04:23,662 --> 00:04:27,131
Lower seals! Lower seals!
123
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:28,984
I don't know why the seals
won't go down.
124
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:31,736
Wow, you are Boing-ing
like crazy.
125
00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:33,404
Lucy, is this real life?
126
00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:35,740
[upbeat music]
127
00:04:35,874 --> 00:04:39,276
Hey. Whoo!
128
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:42,879
- Throw me in the ball pit.
- He is lunchmeat.
129
00:04:43,015 --> 00:04:44,333
- What's up, Eddie!
- Hey.
130
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,801
You wanna ride the
rollercoaster with me?
131
00:04:46,885 --> 00:04:48,803
- Oh!
- Whoo.
132
00:04:48,887 --> 00:04:52,757
- Ah!
- [chuckling] Yeah.
133
00:04:52,891 --> 00:04:54,209
- [laughs]
- That's a good one.
134
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:55,410
- Hey, hey!
- Hey.
135
00:04:55,494 --> 00:04:57,145
- I got an owl box.
- I know.
136
00:04:57,229 --> 00:04:58,813
- You know I got an owl box?
- I helped you put it up.
137
00:04:58,897 --> 00:05:00,215
- I helped you put it up.
- I put it in my backyard.
138
00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:02,351
I have a rodent problem.
You know rodents?
139
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:03,700
Yes.
140
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:06,971
Owls eat rabbits, gophers,
skunks, moles, monkeys.
141
00:05:07,106 --> 00:05:08,357
Do you have monkeys
on your land?
142
00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:09,958
- Yeah, gopher monkeys.
- Gopher monkeys?
143
00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:11,426
Yeah. You ever seen
gopher monkeys before?
144
00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:12,827
- No. What do they eat?
- Underground bananas?
145
00:05:12,911 --> 00:05:14,229
- They eat rocks.
- A rock monkey?
146
00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:15,497
I wish things could always
be this way.
147
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,232
Hey, I saw you
on the social media.
148
00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:19,234
- The social media, huh?
- Yeah.
149
00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:21,236
Well, did you see
that I was kind of blowing up?
150
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,171
- You know, there are people...
- Hey, hey.
151
00:05:23,255 --> 00:05:24,439
Who don't like
those kind of videos.
152
00:05:24,523 --> 00:05:26,241
Did you know I got
an owl box?
153
00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:28,043
- Especially dentist ones.
- Hey, I got an owl box.
154
00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:29,244
- And this is one of them.
- I know.
155
00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:30,579
I helped you
put up the owl box.
156
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:31,780
- I don't mean to interrupt.
- Go ahead.
157
00:05:31,864 --> 00:05:33,130
Do you know how hard it is
158
00:05:33,265 --> 00:05:34,717
to get a video to spring
on Boi-oi-oing?
159
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,985
He got me 100 re-bounces.
I mean, if he keeps this up,
160
00:05:37,069 --> 00:05:38,854
he could be
the next Cranberry Juice Guy.
161
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:41,056
- How come my legs don't go up?
- Did you ask his permission?
162
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,791
- Yeah.
- I mean, of course I asked him.
163
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,059
- You like pickles?
- I love pickles.
164
00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:45,460
- Dill?
- Dill, fried.
165
00:05:45,544 --> 00:05:48,012
- Gherkins?
- How do you not love this?
166
00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:50,815
- Just be careful.
- I got it. I got it.
167
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,149
Nice one, Chief.
168
00:05:52,284 --> 00:05:53,668
- Whoa, who's this guy?
- Andy.
169
00:05:53,752 --> 00:05:55,604
- Is he real, this guy?
- Yeah, he's real.
170
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:59,274
Yeah. Hey, are you excited
about a little Chili Cook-off?
171
00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:00,675
Oh, it's gonna be
super awesome.
172
00:06:00,759 --> 00:06:02,277
- Oh, yeah.
- I've been watching it on TV.
173
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:03,878
No, we're gonna be
doing it here.
174
00:06:03,962 --> 00:06:05,229
No, it's been on ESPN.
175
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,481
I was thinking that maybe
176
00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:08,633
I'd use a recipe
from the islands.
177
00:06:08,767 --> 00:06:09,952
- Hawaii.
- Yeah.
178
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,235
But do you like pineapple?
179
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,088
- I like in piña coladas.
- That's great.
180
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:14,623
- Do you like piña colada?
- I do.
181
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,891
One time when she was
16-years-old,
182
00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:19,043
I caught Lucy drinking
piña colada.
183
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:20,429
Oh, God.
184
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,164
- Such a great story.
- Yeah, thanks, man.
185
00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:23,432
Well, that's all
I needed to hear. Goodnight.
186
00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:24,633
It's got a lot
of vitamins in it.
187
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:25,900
Great.
188
00:06:25,984 --> 00:06:27,302
Hey, when
will I see you again?
189
00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:29,104
- Still gonna be here.
- Lucy! Lucy!
190
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:30,505
Hey, are we gonna do
the morning meeting today?
191
00:06:30,589 --> 00:06:32,789
- When is today?
- Um, now.
192
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:34,443
- You don't have to, Chief.
- No, let's do it.
193
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,647
Morning meeting?
That's my favorite thing.
194
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:44,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
195
00:06:46,805 --> 00:06:48,873
- Oof.
- Be careful, Chief.
196
00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:52,476
[all groaning]
197
00:06:52,611 --> 00:06:54,129
Kinda looks
like a Fruit Roll-Up.
198
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,664
Granny,
is he supposed to do that?
199
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:56,731
No.
200
00:06:56,815 --> 00:06:57,933
How much more is there?
201
00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,201
- Almost done.
- [groans]
202
00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:00,869
- Ugh.
- That hurt.
203
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:03,287
- Oh, God.
- Ugh.
204
00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:06,475
- Good. So that's done.
- Enough of that, right?
205
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,143
Right now I'm gonna open
the floor up to questions.
206
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:10,145
Hey, if we're doing
questions, can I...
207
00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:12,029
Yeah, muscles. Go.
208
00:07:12,164 --> 00:07:14,349
If you had to get rid of one
fire fighter out of all us...
209
00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:16,166
- Uh-oh.
- Be honest.
210
00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:17,552
- Would it be Andy?
- Hey.
211
00:07:17,636 --> 00:07:19,021
It definitely would not
be Andy
212
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,289
because I often use
his toothbrush.
213
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,024
[chuckles]
He didn't know it,
214
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,758
but, you know, sometimes when
I don't have my toothbrush,
215
00:07:23,842 --> 00:07:24,975
I use his toothbrush.
216
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,495
What did you say?
217
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,297
I find you to be
the most hygienically sound.
218
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,365
- [chuckles]
- What do you mean?
219
00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:31,634
Like, he got
the cleanest mouth?
220
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,368
Yeah, he's got
a super clean mouth.
221
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:35,170
Look at him. He's like
a little, round bar of soap.
222
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:36,520
That is so weird, Dad.
223
00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:37,906
You know what
I'm talking 'bout?
224
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,524
I'm gonna change the subject.
225
00:07:39,658 --> 00:07:41,376
- Hey, Chief, I have a question.
- Yeah, go, you in the front.
226
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,378
Will we be getting raises
this year?
227
00:07:43,462 --> 00:07:44,779
Will we be getting racist
this year?
228
00:07:44,863 --> 00:07:46,581
Young lady,
you're new to this department,
229
00:07:46,665 --> 00:07:47,532
but that's bullshit.
230
00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:49,451
- No, no, no.
- Raises this year.
231
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,602
- Braces?
- Andy could use some braces,
232
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,055
if you know what
I'm talking about.
233
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,589
- Whoa!
- That's rude.
234
00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:55,924
Chief, c'mon,
you gotta lay off with that.
235
00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:57,125
What is happening?
236
00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:59,543
- Raises!
- An increase in salary.
237
00:07:59,678 --> 00:08:01,196
Oh, raises.
238
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,733
I'll tell you what, if I were
Andy and I was getting a raise,
239
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,401
I'd use the money
to straighten my teeth out.
240
00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:07,752
Okay, okay. C'mon, c'mon.
241
00:08:07,886 --> 00:08:09,204
- You know what I'm saying?
- No offense.
242
00:08:09,288 --> 00:08:10,739
- Is this a roast?
- Chief.
243
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,541
And you, stop putting lemon
in your hair, Ike.
244
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:15,159
- What? I'm not putting...
- I don't put lemon in my hair.
245
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:16,478
It makes your hair
a weird color, bro.
246
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:17,895
Chief, you need some water.
247
00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:19,081
Just man to man,
I'm telling you.
248
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,349
Don't use a straw.
249
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,017
The suction can cause
dry socket.
250
00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:24,353
- Ooh, dry socket.
- I don't even know what that is.
251
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,970
What's dry socket?
252
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:27,622
It's when suction pops
a blood clot inside the wound.
253
00:08:27,706 --> 00:08:29,558
You know what this room
could use? An owl box.
254
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:31,375
C'mon. C'mon, dude. C'mon.
255
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:33,628
- An owl box, just an owl box.
- Do you have an owl box?
256
00:08:33,712 --> 00:08:35,764
How did I not just film
all of that?
257
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,033
- Mm.
- Hoo.
258
00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:39,501
- ♪ Ah ♪
- Oh, he's back.
259
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:43,372
♪ [vocalizing high notes] ♪
260
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:44,655
This is great, man.
261
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,041
We should have
a Chili Cook-off, right?
262
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,042
That's a good idea.
263
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:48,577
- Should we?
- Yeah.
264
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:50,245
- Here's one thing, though.
- See that blanks space?
265
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:52,047
What happened
to all your champion-shipses?
266
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,582
I added a base plate to put
more names for more winners.
267
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,332
Yeah, but all the blank space
268
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,252
makes it look like
he's never won anything before.
269
00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:58,987
[laughter]
270
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:01,990
Right? Huh? I'm gonna go have
some pudding out of this, okay?
271
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:03,125
- Go for it.
- I'll see you later.
272
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,541
Okay, take her easy.
273
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:06,395
- I'll see you guys later.
- What's up, cup?
274
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,212
- All right.
- [whistles]
275
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:10,615
You guys,
we could still do this.
276
00:09:10,749 --> 00:09:12,601
Chief's gonna be back
to his old self soon.
277
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:14,202
Is he even gonna be able
to chew, though?
278
00:09:14,286 --> 00:09:15,670
Yeah, he'll be fine
in a couple hours.
279
00:09:15,754 --> 00:09:17,406
We should definitely
do the Chili Cook-off.
280
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,274
- We?
- Yeah, we.
281
00:09:19,358 --> 00:09:21,558
If Jordan could unretire,
then so can I.
282
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,212
And I'm gonna join this year's
Cook-off.
283
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:27,165
And I'm gonna kick
all y'all's asses.
284
00:09:31,937 --> 00:09:33,388
So this is a recipe
from my Hawaiian ancestors,
285
00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:35,606
and Chief says
he already loves it.
286
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,392
So I'm excited.
[chuckles]
287
00:09:37,476 --> 00:09:40,011
- But here is the big story.
- Coming out of retirement,
288
00:09:40,145 --> 00:09:43,865
seven-time champion
Captain Eddie Penisi.
289
00:09:43,949 --> 00:09:46,149
That's right,
seven time champion. Seven.
290
00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:47,803
What's it feel like
to be back?
291
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:50,221
It's like putting on
an old slipper. Whoo!
292
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:52,690
[pot clatters]
[laughter]
293
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:54,009
Hey, Lucy.
294
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,477
If you're gonna do a show,
introduce the star.
295
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:57,146
- Come down here.
- Oh, come on.
296
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,214
My apologies. Granny, tell us
what's going down here.
297
00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:01,498
Well, as two-time
defending champ,
298
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,234
I'm getting a little creative,
299
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:07,838
so I will be making a chili
with a zesty cheese base.
300
00:10:07,973 --> 00:10:10,091
- [imitates buzzer]
- That sounds like a queso.
301
00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:13,244
A chili can be a lot of things,
but it's definitely not yellow.
302
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:16,498
- All right.
- Ike, what's in your chili?
303
00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:20,235
Uh, it's a mystery. So.
304
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:22,386
Ooh,
he's playing it coy, folks.
305
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:24,105
No, no, it's actually
a mystery to me.
306
00:10:24,189 --> 00:10:26,041
I have no idea 'cause I don't
have my uncle's recipe.
307
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,643
I lost it, so I don't know
what to do with...
308
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,711
Ike, you should use
the memory word-train.
309
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,380
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. Okay.
310
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,848
Just give me one second.
311
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:35,533
Recipe, recipe book,
book, book smart,
312
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,668
smartass, asshole,
whole onion.
313
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,055
Whole onion.
That's it.
314
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,324
I got tons of whole onions.
315
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,526
[chuckling]
Hope you like it spicy.
316
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,677
All right, Rachael Ray,
your turn.
317
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,263
Okay.
318
00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:50,732
I have a recipe and I have
a special ingredient in it
319
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:54,885
that is going to blow
the tits off this place.
320
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:56,353
And it's vegetarian.
321
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,073
Vegetarian as in turkey meat?
322
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,542
No. It's a plant-based beef
substitute called
323
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:03,094
Implausible Meat.
[bell rings]
324
00:11:03,228 --> 00:11:05,096
[laughter]
325
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,764
Do you know who the judge is?
326
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:10,501
We call him Chief because
he likes chicken and beef.
327
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:11,887
Well, over the past
few months, I've been mixing
328
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,156
Implausible Meat
into his burgers and meatloaf.
329
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,359
I've reconditioned his palate
and he has no idea.
330
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:19,110
That's implausible.
331
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:20,962
Clever girl.
332
00:11:21,046 --> 00:11:23,114
Son of a bitch.
333
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:24,315
That's cheating.
334
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,916
It's the long game, Granny.
335
00:11:26,051 --> 00:11:27,569
Whatever. You chilennials
can have your fake meat
336
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:29,438
and your pineapple
and your queso.
337
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,923
I just stick to a good,
old-fashioned chili.
338
00:11:32,057 --> 00:11:33,390
Keep It Simple Stew-pid.
339
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,044
I think I know
what my Dad likes.
340
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,328
Well, I've known your Dad
341
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:37,713
since his cholesterol was
under 300.
342
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:40,932
- You knew him in the womb?
- [laughter]
343
00:11:41,066 --> 00:11:42,584
Hey, Chief,
we were just talking about you.
344
00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:46,137
- Your ears must be burning.
- [groaning]
345
00:11:46,271 --> 00:11:47,522
Why's everybody
standing around?
346
00:11:47,606 --> 00:11:48,790
It doesn't take all day
to bake chili.
347
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,459
Oh. I think his anesthesia
wore off.
348
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,394
- What's that?
- Fruit in your chili?
349
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:53,995
- Yeah.
- Hot fruit's disgusting.
350
00:11:54,079 --> 00:11:56,480
But I thought you said you
were gonna like this, Chief.
351
00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:58,415
I'm calling it Beaña Colada.
352
00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,883
I never said that.
353
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:01,470
Fruit should be eaten
at room temperature
354
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,738
and only when
your wife tells you to.
355
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,155
Hey, Chief,
356
00:12:04,289 --> 00:12:05,741
remember coming back
from the dentist this morning?
357
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,208
- I remember everything.
- You guys are lucky
358
00:12:07,292 --> 00:12:08,744
nobody video'd me
because it would be trouble.
359
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,880
There's nothing worse
than those stupid videos
360
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,882
with those pathetic idiots
coming home from the dentist.
361
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,617
- They do get a lot of boings.
- It's an invasion of privacy!
362
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:17,218
Ow.
[sighs]
363
00:12:17,302 --> 00:12:19,703
The pain in my mouth
is getting exponentially worse.
364
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:21,156
And I'm hungry.
So we're gonna do
365
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,176
this chili contest
in exactly one half hour.
366
00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:26,978
[groaning]
367
00:12:27,112 --> 00:12:29,446
Hey, is your dad
taking his medication?
368
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,166
They gave him pain pills
but he won't take 'em.
369
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,368
- Why not?
- He says he doesn't need them.
370
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:36,187
- Ugh.
- Why do old, white men do that?
371
00:12:36,321 --> 00:12:38,455
[soft dramatic music]
372
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,790
[♪ ♪]
373
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,993
- Don't look at me.
- I love medication.
374
00:12:42,127 --> 00:12:42,978
And I'm not old.
375
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,127
[upbeat music]
376
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,796
[groans]
377
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,249
C'mon, dude, you don't have
to suffer through this.
378
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,784
Lucy brought your medication.
379
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:52,053
You should take it.
Here. Yeah.
380
00:12:52,137 --> 00:12:53,404
I don't need pain meds.
381
00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,457
I'm a McConky.
McConkys can handle pain.
382
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:59,410
- You had oral surgery, man.
- So what?
383
00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:01,196
My wife gave birth
without drugs.
384
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,747
I think I'm man enough
to handle a little toothache.
385
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:06,083
- Dismissed!
- [sighs]
386
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,419
20 minutes!
387
00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:11,422
[dramatic music]
388
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:17,012
[♪ ♪]
389
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:18,213
[slow-motion laughter]
390
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:24,468
[♪ ♪]
391
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,443
- Done.
- With eight minutes to spare.
392
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:35,030
- Figures.
- Old people love to eat early.
393
00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:36,565
- [chuckles]
- That's cute, Granny.
394
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,367
I remember my
second championship.
395
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,369
And I'm on my way
to my third.
396
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:41,837
- Hmm.
- Well, if you do it,
397
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,588
don't forget to thank
the dairy farmers. What?
398
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:45,907
There's seven minutes
left here,
399
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,309
and everyone
is up against the clock
400
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:49,060
except Granny and Cap
401
00:13:49,194 --> 00:13:51,112
seem to be more interested
in slinging zings than chili.
402
00:13:51,196 --> 00:13:52,514
Lucy, stop messing around!
403
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:53,915
Live in the moment,
for God's sake.
404
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:54,850
Okay.
405
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,318
Why do I still
smell pineapple?
406
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,469
- What?
- [growls]
407
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:00,071
What am I supposed to do?
408
00:14:00,205 --> 00:14:03,258
I already took all the
pineapple chunks out of there.
409
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,743
[groaning]
410
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,945
[soft dramatic music]
411
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,333
[♪ ♪]
412
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:14,485
That looks more
like sloppy joes.
413
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:15,937
This is my Uncle Joe's
recipe.
414
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:17,939
How did you even know
we call him Sloppy?
415
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,892
You made sloppy joes
instead of chili.
416
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,344
Oh, no.
417
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,895
Sloppy joe, Uncle Joe,
Joe, Joe, Joe Biden.
418
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,282
Biding my time, time's up.
I'm fucked.
419
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,901
[groaning]
420
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,169
[sighs]
421
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:36,240
[♪ ♪]
422
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,042
30 seconds!
I need water.
423
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,978
But... Chief!
424
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,097
Chief, no!
425
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,381
- [pop]
- [groaning]
426
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:48,252
- He popped the clot!
- Dry socket!
427
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:51,522
[all screaming]
428
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,575
[energetic music]
429
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:57,661
[♪ ♪]
430
00:14:57,797 --> 00:15:00,115
Oh, my God!
431
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:01,532
No, no, no, no!
432
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:02,784
What the hell are you doing?
433
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,786
I'm totally springing
right now.
434
00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:08,071
I'm getting so many re-bounces.
435
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:09,725
I could be an influencer!
436
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:13,144
- This Cook-off is cancelled!
- [screams]
437
00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:15,397
[app boinging]
438
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:18,600
I like him better
with his wisdom teeth.
439
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,351
[chuckles]
440
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,953
[soft upbeat music]
441
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:23,739
I'm actually happy
that the cook-off is over
442
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:26,075
'cause now I can put some
pineapple back into my chili
443
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,342
and have a great dinner.
444
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,611
I can't believe we did
all this work for nothing.
445
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:30,946
The dry socket tirade
446
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,814
did get me
a shitload more followers.
447
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,016
Implausible Meat
even started following me.
448
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,552
See?
449
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,153
If only there was a way we
could get him to take his meds.
450
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:39,821
Then he'd be able
to judge again.
451
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:41,757
And I could get
so many more followers.
452
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,358
The man won't use
medicated lip balm.
453
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,827
There's no chance he's taking
those meds on his own.
454
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:49,046
[upbeat music]
455
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:56,120
[♪ ♪]
456
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,578
- Hey, Dad.
- Here's some chocolate milk.
457
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:03,845
It'll make you feel better.
458
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:07,649
[♪ ♪]
459
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,651
Hey, Chief,
brought your favorite pudding.
460
00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:11,453
- [mouth full]
- Thank you.
461
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:12,577
All right, eat it.
462
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:16,458
[♪ ♪]
463
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:17,859
- You put it in my mouth?
- No.
464
00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:19,194
You're supposed to rub it
on your body.
465
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:20,611
Ah!
466
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:22,063
I don't let my wife
touch my neck.
467
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,615
- What neck?
- You're like a snowman.
468
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:29,353
[♪ ♪]
469
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:30,421
Mm, that's a good chowder.
470
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,808
- May I?
- Hey, take it easy.
471
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,610
- No, no, it's good.
- This will add flavor.
472
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:35,677
I'm on statins.
473
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:41,216
[♪ ♪]
474
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,217
[peanut brittle taps]
475
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:43,685
[♪ ♪]
476
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:45,220
I can't eat peanut brittle.
477
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,289
Oh, 'cause you... you don't
wanna hurt your teeth.
478
00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:48,690
- Peanut brittle!
- It's peanut brittle!
479
00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:49,891
- I know.
- Sorry.
480
00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:51,493
Idiot!
481
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:58,716
[♪ ♪]
482
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,330
Don't judge me.
483
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:20,605
[♪ ♪]
484
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,595
[upbeat music]
485
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:33,135
[♪ ♪]
486
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,937
- Ah.
- Hey, what's up, dude?
487
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,139
- What's in the oven?
- Thought the contest was over.
488
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,357
- So did I.
- Then I saw you stirring.
489
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:40,742
Well, you never know.
490
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:41,944
Maybe the Chief
will suddenly feel better.
491
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,345
- Mm.
- That's what I thought.
492
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:44,746
And as you know,
493
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,748
any good firefighter always
stays prepared.
494
00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:48,966
- [sniffs] Oh, yeah.
- Who's making steak?
495
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:50,819
- You son of a bitch.
- You're pivoting.
496
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,571
[goofy laugh]
497
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:54,957
- What's up, guys?
- Hey, Chief.
498
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,424
- Okay.
- Hey.
499
00:17:56,508 --> 00:18:00,228
I'm coming over here.
What's up Ike-oroni?
500
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:02,512
- I'm pretty good.
- The San Francisco treat.
501
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,432
- [chuckles] Oops.
- We good.
502
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:08,185
- [chuckling] Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, man, I feel good.
503
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,187
You look good.
504
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:10,639
- My neck smells fantastic.
- Smell it.
505
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,040
- Huh?
- You wanna smell it?
506
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:13,441
- Oh, yeah.
- What's it smell like?
507
00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:14,977
Smells like flowers.
508
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:16,244
- Piña colada, piña colada.
- Yeah, piña colada.
509
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:17,579
- Piña Colada, right?
- Yeah.
510
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:18,929
So I'm feeling really good.
511
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:21,932
And I'm thinking
the contest is back on.
512
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,585
- Oh!
- Sweet.
513
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:26,604
You know what? I liked
my milk and my pudding so much,
514
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,857
I think you should
blend the chilis. Right?
515
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,859
- What do you mean?
- Like in a blender?
516
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,877
- Yeah, man.
- That would be dope.
517
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,863
Don't you think?
I mean, do you wanna chew?
518
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,865
- No, sir. I mean...
- Do you wanna chew?
519
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,400
- Don't have to chew.
- Who wants to chew?
520
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:40,268
- You wanna chew?
- No, it hurts my teeth.
521
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:42,204
- It's too much exercise.
- Let's cut the middleman, right?
522
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,605
- Okay, yeah.
- Who needs a middleman?
523
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:46,224
- Liquefy the bitch.
- [chuckles]
524
00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:48,692
C'mon, 15 minutes.
525
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,078
Whoa!
What's up, man?
526
00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:52,763
What's up?
Vertical leap!
527
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:55,766
[dramatic music]
528
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:59,770
[♪ ♪]
529
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:03,625
[snoring]
530
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,228
[♪ ♪]
531
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,496
Huh?
532
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:10,047
What are we waiting for?
533
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:13,435
- You, your honor.
- Oh. [chuckles] Let's begin.
534
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:17,588
Andy Myawani's, sir, and I'm
presenting to you Beaña Colada.
535
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:18,840
- That's funny.
- Enjoy.
536
00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:20,458
Beaña Colada.
537
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,310
Mm.
538
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:26,464
Seems like someone was trying
to hide the taste of pineapple.
539
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:30,318
And we all know hot fruit
is not dope.
540
00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:31,319
[dramatic music]
541
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:33,321
[blows raspberry]
542
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:36,324
My submission is
Mission Implausible.
543
00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,943
I don't understand it,
but okay. [chuckles]
544
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:42,546
Mm... oh, my God,
this is disgusting.
545
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:43,865
[laughter]
546
00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:45,333
Is this that
Implausible Meat shit
547
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:47,269
- that you give me at home?
- You knew about that?
548
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,338
- Yeah. This stuff sucks.
- Ha!
549
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:52,340
Tastes like a house plant
took a shit.
550
00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:53,891
Implausibly sucky.
551
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,944
Last place!
[blows raspberry]
552
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,295
What's this one all about?
553
00:19:57,429 --> 00:20:00,348
- Sloppy Joe's chili.
- Oh, you'll like it.
554
00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:01,499
[♪ ♪]
555
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,100
Pretty good.
556
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:06,103
If it was a sloppy joe contest,
but it's not.
557
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:07,956
- No, I guess not.
- Disqualified.
558
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,758
- [blows raspberry]
- Thanks for trying it.
559
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,775
Hey, Chiefy.
560
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,645
My entry:
Keep It Simple Stew-pid.
561
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,298
All right.
562
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:19,116
Oh, first of all, you spelled
stupid wrong, stupid.
563
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:21,319
[slurps]
564
00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,305
- Steak.
- Mm-hmm.
565
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,389
Medium rare.
566
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,041
Just the way you
like it, Chief.
567
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,510
- Potatoes.
- This is delicious, Captain.
568
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:30,634
- Wait.
- Liquefied steak and potatoes?
569
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,780
Are you kidding me?
570
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,181
- Yeah.
- Well, sometimes
571
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:36,534
you gotta change
your recipe-nizi on the fly.
572
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:39,737
- Hey, look at that.
- Appetizers. Cheese All That.
573
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,123
Oh, yeah, man,
that's pretty good.
574
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:43,541
- Dad, be careful.
- Chief. Chief.
575
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,727
- It doesn't matter.
- Can't feel a thing.
576
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,195
- No!
- These chips are pointy.
577
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:49,947
- No!
- Oh, gosh.
578
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,800
- Chief.
- C'mon, Chief.
579
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,150
Oh, this is gold.
580
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:54,670
- You guys want some?
- All: No.
581
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:55,953
Okay, listen up.
582
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,956
I am prepared
to announce the winner.
583
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,225
And the winner...
584
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:06,430
of the contest...
[app boinging]
585
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:09,952
is...
586
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:14,572
- Dad.
- Dad, wake up.
587
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:15,824
Hey, there he is.
588
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:19,109
The winner is...
589
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:23,832
Beaña Colada.
[all exclaiming]
590
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,635
- What?
- You hate hot fruit.
591
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:28,036
- C'mon.
- Want one?
592
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,454
- No, thanks.
- Here you go, little buddy.
593
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:35,043
- Oh, thank you so much.
- Thank you, Chief, so much.
594
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:38,996
Thank you, Chief.
Wow.
595
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,782
- Breathe in, man.
- [chuckling] Wow.
596
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:42,200
[sighs]
597
00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:45,253
[crying]
Here we are, the champ.
598
00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:48,206
And it started at
a little island in Hawaii.
599
00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:50,408
My ancestors went across...
600
00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:52,460
What the hell
are you guys doing?
601
00:21:52,544 --> 00:21:53,996
- What?
- What are we doing?
602
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,864
This is how you treat
your friend?
603
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:58,466
- Your father? Your chief?
- Oh, man.
604
00:21:58,550 --> 00:22:03,421
And Lucy, you live-streamed
him like this out to the world?
605
00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:04,835
But it's so hard to go viral.
606
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:07,691
Vicky,
what are you doin' here?
607
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:11,680
- I saw you on the internet.
- You're a meme.
608
00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:13,230
What's that supposed to meme?
609
00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:14,616
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles half-heartedly]
610
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:15,617
[imitates rim shot]
611
00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:17,019
Mom, please don't.
612
00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:18,636
[quirky dramatic music]
613
00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:20,971
[♪ ♪]
614
00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:23,625
- Who's that guy?
- He looks like an asshole.
615
00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:24,842
[chuckles]
616
00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:26,143
[snoring]
617
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,246
There he is.
618
00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:31,233
Look who's name
is on the chalice.
619
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:34,251
[chuckles]
Andy Myawani. Whoo!
620
00:22:34,386 --> 00:22:37,855
Beaña Colada. They even got
the enye in there.
621
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:39,056
Congrats, Andy.
622
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:40,642
- Thank you.
- What the hell?
623
00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:42,510
I can't get into
my Boi-oi-oing account.
624
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:44,112
That's because
I shut it down.
625
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,714
- What?
- Oh, no-oi-oi-oi-oing.
626
00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,649
Yeah. When I saw the videos
you posted
627
00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:50,052
without my permission,
I filed a complaint.
628
00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:52,120
Your account has been
suspended indefinitely.
629
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:54,056
- No, no, no.
- What about my new followers?
630
00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:56,073
- They took 'em away.
- No. Dad.
631
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,926
And I am banning
all employees
632
00:22:58,010 --> 00:23:00,278
from using B-boi-oi-oing
in the workplace.
633
00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:02,130
I think that's
a little extreme.
634
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,283
- Pineapple chili.
- What was I thinking?
635
00:23:05,417 --> 00:23:07,485
Ugh.
No more pain meds.
636
00:23:07,619 --> 00:23:10,354
- Hey, don't sweat it, Lucy.
- Followers shmollowers.
637
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:12,408
What does social media
really get you?
638
00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:14,276
Yeah, it's not like
somebody's in their office
639
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,278
right now saying, "Hey, get
that Lucy McConky on the line.
640
00:23:16,362 --> 00:23:17,613
We need to give her
a million dollars."
641
00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:21,632
- [chuckles]
- Yeah, I guess so.
642
00:23:21,767 --> 00:23:24,887
- Oh, my God.
- This stuff sucks.
643
00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:26,688
Implausible Meat?
Ugh.
644
00:23:26,772 --> 00:23:29,039
Tastes like a house plant
took a shit.
645
00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,708
Okay, that's rude.
646
00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:32,694
I really thought Lucy McConky
would be the new face
647
00:23:32,778 --> 00:23:34,912
of Implausible Meat,
but I guess not.
648
00:23:35,047 --> 00:23:37,900
She doesn't even have
a Boi-oi-oing account any more.
649
00:23:37,984 --> 00:23:39,768
Oh, what a loser.
650
00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:41,770
Reach out to that firefighter
in Pittsburgh.
651
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:43,772
The one who made Implausible
Mince Meat Pie for her station.
652
00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:47,109
- She will be, like, so dope.
- Good idea, Becky.
653
00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:48,911
Oh, and she has a cat
named Penguin.
654
00:23:48,995 --> 00:23:50,378
Our demo's gonna go insane.
655
00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:51,780
Oh, my God. I would've
never thought of that.
656
00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:54,316
- I know.
- So innovative.
657
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,318
Too bad, Lucy McConky.
658
00:23:56,402 --> 00:23:58,736
You will never know
how close you came.
659
00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:00,204
Buh-bye.
659
00:24:01,305 --> 00:25:01,492
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