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1
00:00:04,698 --> 00:00:07,213
- Hi, Aunt Zelda.
- Good morning, Sabrina.
2
00:00:07,378 --> 00:00:09,973
That's an interesting
take on pyjamas.
3
00:00:10,138 --> 00:00:11,891
By the way, can I borrow
your blue sweater?
4
00:00:12,058 --> 00:00:14,891
Oh, no, honey. You're just not
responsible with my clothes.
5
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:17,333
Remember what happened when
you borrowed my red blouse?
6
00:00:17,497 --> 00:00:19,328
Who knew silk was so flammable?
7
00:00:19,497 --> 00:00:22,534
Responsible behaviour is taking
care of the things you use.
8
00:00:22,696 --> 00:00:25,085
If I didn't take good care of
my mountain-climbing equipment,
9
00:00:25,256 --> 00:00:27,212
I could really hurt myself out there.
10
00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,095
Hey, you're back. How was Everest?
11
00:00:29,255 --> 00:00:31,167
Oh, a little crowded, but I had fun.
12
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,975
- Responsible fun.
- Did Salem enjoy it?
13
00:00:35,454 --> 00:00:40,164
Zelda? Zelda?
14
00:00:40,894 --> 00:00:42,772
Is that a yeti?
15
00:01:00,251 --> 00:01:03,642
I fought the law and the law won.
16
00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:11,410
Quick rehearsal. First, you compliment
him on his sweater vest.
17
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,242
And then you ask him
if he's lost weight.
18
00:01:13,409 --> 00:01:14,446
What are you guys doing?
19
00:01:14,610 --> 00:01:17,488
Oh, we're gonna ask Mr. Kraft
for his permission and some money
20
00:01:17,650 --> 00:01:20,084
to attend a journalism
symposium in New York.
21
00:01:20,249 --> 00:01:21,762
Well, he's in a good mood.
22
00:01:21,928 --> 00:01:24,682
He was smiling when he
filled out this detention slip.
23
00:01:25,609 --> 00:01:28,282
- Mr. Kraft? We were wondering--
- No.
24
00:01:28,448 --> 00:01:30,485
We've got him
right where we want him.
25
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:34,526
- Mr. Kraft looked really cute today--
- No.
26
00:01:34,687 --> 00:01:36,963
You two are more alike
than you think.
27
00:01:37,247 --> 00:01:40,159
Sabrina, I am not going out
with Willard Kraft again.
28
00:01:40,326 --> 00:01:41,840
Know what we did on our last date?
29
00:01:42,006 --> 00:01:44,043
We toured an accordion factory.
30
00:01:44,206 --> 00:01:45,606
But you guys have
so much in common.
31
00:01:45,766 --> 00:01:48,758
I mean, you could talk about
literature, art,
32
00:01:48,925 --> 00:01:51,759
why Valerie and I should be allowed
to attend this journalism symposium.
33
00:01:51,925 --> 00:01:54,315
No. Just the thought of his lips
in the same building as mine
34
00:01:54,484 --> 00:01:56,077
makes my blood run cold.
35
00:01:56,244 --> 00:01:57,917
That's just what Bacall
said about Bogie.
36
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,081
It's from the Other Realm
Revenue Service.
37
00:02:02,243 --> 00:02:03,472
Mm, let me see.
38
00:02:03,963 --> 00:02:05,238
They're auditing our magic.
39
00:02:05,403 --> 00:02:08,441
You know, bureaucracy makes the
Other Realm seem less enchanting.
40
00:02:08,603 --> 00:02:10,162
This is just a formality.
41
00:02:10,322 --> 00:02:11,359
See, in the mortal realm,
42
00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,832
witches are allotted
a specific amount of magic.
43
00:02:14,322 --> 00:02:16,756
They were pretty lenient
until the Pompeii incident.
44
00:02:16,921 --> 00:02:19,914
Some witch with a lava fetish
really messed up.
45
00:02:20,081 --> 00:02:21,640
Auditors check up
on you now and again
46
00:02:21,801 --> 00:02:24,110
to make sure that everything's
under control.
47
00:02:24,281 --> 00:02:26,954
But we have nothing to worry about.
I'll just summon our accountant.
48
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:29,869
Marty?
49
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,308
Zelda, Hilda. What's up?
50
00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:37,313
It really bothers me that
I don't find this weird.
51
00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,672
Are we interrupting anything?
52
00:02:39,838 --> 00:02:42,273
No. Just celebrating
our receptionist's birthday.
53
00:02:42,438 --> 00:02:43,554
Would you like some cake?
54
00:02:43,718 --> 00:02:46,358
- Sabrina?
- It's Valerie.
55
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,756
Hey. I've got big news.
56
00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:52,954
Tell me. Oh, but upstairs.
57
00:02:53,117 --> 00:02:54,187
[KNOCKING]
58
00:02:55,397 --> 00:02:57,274
Is that filing cabinet tapping?
59
00:02:57,436 --> 00:03:00,270
Yeah, Val. There's a guy in there.
60
00:03:04,716 --> 00:03:06,230
Marty.
61
00:03:06,396 --> 00:03:08,432
The Other Realm
is auditing our magic.
62
00:03:08,595 --> 00:03:11,429
An audit? That's what I live for.
63
00:03:11,995 --> 00:03:13,508
Here's your return from last year.
64
00:03:13,675 --> 00:03:14,664
Give it a look-see.
65
00:03:14,834 --> 00:03:15,904
[CORK POPPING]
66
00:03:16,074 --> 00:03:17,508
Oh. Time for the conga line.
67
00:03:17,673 --> 00:03:20,427
Don't worry.
I'll make sure everything's in order.
68
00:03:20,593 --> 00:03:21,710
We'll be in touch.
69
00:03:21,874 --> 00:03:23,990
MARTY: Marge, stop twirling
your blouse around
70
00:03:24,153 --> 00:03:26,793
and get off the copy machine.
71
00:03:26,953 --> 00:03:28,625
Your grandmother wants to
sell you her car?
72
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,988
Isn't it amazing? I mean,
it's not fancy or anything.
73
00:03:31,152 --> 00:03:34,622
Like, there's no air conditioning
or tape player or radio or heat.
74
00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:36,908
And the windows don't open.
And it smells like lilacs.
75
00:03:37,071 --> 00:03:38,824
But, hey, it's a car.
76
00:03:39,311 --> 00:03:41,542
It's your first set of wheels.
It's so fantastic.
77
00:03:41,711 --> 00:03:44,589
I know. There's just one
small problem. I can't afford it.
78
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:47,140
- Granny's trying to gouge you?
- But I have a plan.
79
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:50,621
Okay, suppose you and I
pool our savings and buy it together.
80
00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:53,179
- We'll share it.
- What a great idea.
81
00:03:53,349 --> 00:03:54,385
Do you what this means?
82
00:03:54,549 --> 00:03:56,939
Our lives are about to change
in an utter and profound way.
83
00:03:57,109 --> 00:04:00,465
It'll be you, me and the open road.
84
00:04:00,628 --> 00:04:02,938
Free to go wherever
the spirit moves us.
85
00:04:03,108 --> 00:04:05,942
Except left,
because that blinker's broken.
86
00:04:06,468 --> 00:04:07,458
Well, I don't know.
87
00:04:07,627 --> 00:04:10,097
Owning a car is a big responsibility.
88
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:12,020
We've budgeted for
maintenance and insurance.
89
00:04:12,187 --> 00:04:14,224
And worked out a way
to share it equitably.
90
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:17,345
See, I get the car every Monday,
Wednesday and Friday
91
00:04:17,506 --> 00:04:19,145
from 9 to 12 and from 5 to 8:30.
92
00:04:19,306 --> 00:04:20,786
Except for every third Wednesday
93
00:04:20,946 --> 00:04:23,016
when Val needs the car
at 8:20 instead of 8:30.
94
00:04:23,186 --> 00:04:25,223
See, and I get it every Sunday,
Tuesday and Thursday
95
00:04:25,386 --> 00:04:26,978
from 11:15 to 2 and from 7 to 10,
96
00:04:27,145 --> 00:04:28,738
except on the second
Tuesday in November
97
00:04:28,905 --> 00:04:30,305
and the fourth Tuesday
in January,
98
00:04:30,465 --> 00:04:32,183
I don't have to return it until 10:15.
99
00:04:32,344 --> 00:04:35,098
And on Saturdays, I get the car until 4,
Val gets it until 6
100
00:04:35,264 --> 00:04:37,573
and then we alternate
every hour until midnight.
101
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:39,257
I'm getting dizzy.
102
00:04:39,743 --> 00:04:41,382
But you two do seem on top of it.
103
00:04:41,543 --> 00:04:43,454
All we have to do
is figure out leap year.
104
00:04:43,623 --> 00:04:44,943
I guess it's okay with us.
105
00:04:45,103 --> 00:04:46,696
VALERIE: Yes.
- All right.
106
00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:49,219
Okay, so according to the schedule,
the car is mine tonight?
107
00:04:49,382 --> 00:04:50,702
VALERIE:
Yep.
108
00:04:50,902 --> 00:04:52,699
Hey, can I borrow it?
109
00:04:53,582 --> 00:04:55,300
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
110
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:22,574
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
111
00:05:24,298 --> 00:05:25,617
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
112
00:05:41,616 --> 00:05:44,289
I can't believe I wanted to share
a car with someone whose motto is:
113
00:05:44,455 --> 00:05:46,208
"I paid for these bumpers,
I'll use them."
114
00:05:46,375 --> 00:05:48,844
Well, at least I don't use
fast-food wrappers as seat covers.
115
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,404
- Hey.
- Do you look for tow-away zones?
116
00:05:51,574 --> 00:05:53,133
What's it like to
lose a car three times
117
00:05:53,294 --> 00:05:55,489
in the same parking lot
on the same day?
118
00:05:55,653 --> 00:05:56,848
[WHISTLES]
119
00:05:57,053 --> 00:05:58,123
ZELDA:
Enough.
120
00:05:58,293 --> 00:06:00,524
You two are too old
to be fighting like this.
121
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,412
Though I bet Sabrina
could have taken her.
122
00:06:02,573 --> 00:06:05,485
I was right. You're not responsible
enough to handle a car.
123
00:06:05,972 --> 00:06:08,203
I think you should ask Valerie
to give your share back.
124
00:06:08,372 --> 00:06:09,931
Fine. I'll buy my own car.
125
00:06:10,092 --> 00:06:12,732
No. You may not have a car.
126
00:06:12,892 --> 00:06:14,531
Really?
127
00:06:14,812 --> 00:06:17,042
Not today, not ever.
128
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,281
It's all Valerie's fault.
129
00:06:18,451 --> 00:06:19,884
I could have handled that car alone.
130
00:06:20,051 --> 00:06:21,325
Refresh my memory.
131
00:06:21,490 --> 00:06:24,369
Was it Valerie who locked me
in the glove compartment?
132
00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:26,840
Hey, nobody likes a back-seat cat.
133
00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:29,126
I never understood why you
didn't buy your own car.
134
00:06:29,610 --> 00:06:31,999
Let's see. There's the fact
that I have virtually no money,
135
00:06:32,169 --> 00:06:33,364
my profound lack of cash
136
00:06:33,529 --> 00:06:35,121
and, oh, yeah, I'm broke.
137
00:06:35,288 --> 00:06:37,086
Well, not here. In the Other Realm.
138
00:06:37,248 --> 00:06:38,922
Over there, cars go for peanuts.
139
00:06:39,088 --> 00:06:40,442
Really? How come?
140
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:44,396
Cars became more of a novelty item
once witches realised they could fly.
141
00:06:44,568 --> 00:06:47,163
If my aunts ask where I went,
tell them I'm being very responsible
142
00:06:47,327 --> 00:06:50,047
doing something
responsible people do.
143
00:06:50,526 --> 00:06:53,042
Avoiding hot dogs at the track?
144
00:06:53,207 --> 00:06:56,643
Well, I'm sure you'll see our magic
is completely in order.
145
00:06:56,806 --> 00:06:58,558
Thank you for being
so accommodating.
146
00:06:58,726 --> 00:07:03,481
I've never understood it, but some
people just don't enjoy being audited.
147
00:07:03,645 --> 00:07:04,965
Is that right?
148
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,479
Well, we'll summon our accountant
149
00:07:06,645 --> 00:07:09,113
and then you'll be on your way
in no time.
150
00:07:09,844 --> 00:07:12,996
- Marty?
- Marty, it's time for our audit.
151
00:07:13,283 --> 00:07:14,434
Well, that's odd.
152
00:07:14,604 --> 00:07:16,481
Zelda, he's not here.
153
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,316
What's this?
154
00:07:18,483 --> 00:07:19,917
"Dear Zelda and Hilda,
155
00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:21,563
don't take this the wrong way,
156
00:07:21,723 --> 00:07:24,237
but I've run off with
all your magic savings."
157
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,597
Oh, no.
158
00:07:25,762 --> 00:07:26,878
"Someday you'll forgive me,
159
00:07:27,042 --> 00:07:30,592
until then, could you water my plants?
Marty."
160
00:07:30,762 --> 00:07:32,639
This can't be true.
161
00:07:38,201 --> 00:07:39,714
Excuse me.
162
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,315
Another piƱa colada, por favor.
163
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,959
There must be some mistake.
164
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,633
I'll check the rest of the house--
165
00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:50,472
Not so fast, blondie.
166
00:07:57,279 --> 00:07:58,837
Anything I can help you with,
ma'am?
167
00:07:58,998 --> 00:08:00,512
Quizmaster?
What are you doing here?
168
00:08:00,678 --> 00:08:01,714
Sabrina.
169
00:08:02,277 --> 00:08:04,269
I work here part-time.
170
00:08:04,437 --> 00:08:08,510
Quizmastering may be my life's work,
but it doesn't exactly pay the rent.
171
00:08:08,677 --> 00:08:10,986
Not with the money
you spend on clothes.
172
00:08:11,156 --> 00:08:14,354
Well, I'd like to buy a car,
but I'm pretty sure I can't afford one.
173
00:08:14,836 --> 00:08:16,316
Well, can you afford
a $5 down payment
174
00:08:16,476 --> 00:08:17,591
and a buck 15 a month?
175
00:08:17,755 --> 00:08:18,746
If I budget.
176
00:08:19,275 --> 00:08:21,393
Then you can drive home
in this baby.
177
00:08:21,556 --> 00:08:22,750
- Get out.
- Come on.
178
00:08:22,915 --> 00:08:24,031
Let's take it for a spin.
179
00:08:24,195 --> 00:08:27,028
You can see how it drives
and I can pick up my dry cleaning.
180
00:08:31,234 --> 00:08:32,906
Buckle up.
181
00:08:34,353 --> 00:08:35,753
Woo.
182
00:08:39,153 --> 00:08:40,189
SABRINA:
Woo-hoo!
183
00:08:40,393 --> 00:08:42,624
WOMAN [OVER PA]: Mr. Pike,
report to the service desk.
184
00:08:42,793 --> 00:08:44,511
Mr. Pike, please report
to the service desk.
185
00:08:44,672 --> 00:08:46,106
So, what do you think?
186
00:08:46,272 --> 00:08:47,945
This car handles like a dream.
187
00:08:48,112 --> 00:08:50,671
I mean, did you see the way I swerved
to miss that baby carriage?
188
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,823
The last thing I saw
was that school bus.
189
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,061
I want this car.
190
00:08:54,231 --> 00:08:56,063
There's just one last thing
we need to go over.
191
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:58,223
Now, owning a car is
a big responsibility, Sabrina.
192
00:08:58,391 --> 00:08:59,791
Are you sure you can handle it?
193
00:08:59,951 --> 00:09:02,021
Yes. Jeez, you sound like my aunts.
194
00:09:02,550 --> 00:09:03,825
Everything okay here, miss?
195
00:09:03,990 --> 00:09:05,549
This is my boss.
196
00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:07,702
Responsibility, schmonsibility.
197
00:09:07,869 --> 00:09:10,225
A car like this is all about fun.
198
00:09:10,389 --> 00:09:12,267
Top down, wind in your hair--
199
00:09:12,429 --> 00:09:13,942
Okay. You can save the pitch, okay?
200
00:09:14,108 --> 00:09:16,668
I've got a picture of Lincoln
that's burning a hole in my pocket.
201
00:09:16,829 --> 00:09:19,218
- I'm buying this car.
- You've made a wise decision.
202
00:09:19,388 --> 00:09:22,698
Nothing makes driving
more enjoyable than a car.
203
00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:27,302
Now, you have to be very careful
when taking this car out.
204
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,821
Because accidents, they do happen.
205
00:09:28,987 --> 00:09:31,183
I don't need another
responsibility lecture.
206
00:09:31,347 --> 00:09:32,496
Oh, this isn't a lecture.
207
00:09:32,666 --> 00:09:35,101
I also sell insurance.
208
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,937
So did you go for the Mack truck
like I told you to?
209
00:09:41,106 --> 00:09:44,939
Nothing commands respect
like 18 wheels and girlie mud flaps.
210
00:09:45,104 --> 00:09:46,504
I picked out the cutest little car.
211
00:09:46,664 --> 00:09:51,102
Dual exhaust, ragtop, Connolly hide,
which I think is a good thing.
212
00:09:51,263 --> 00:09:53,016
They even threw in--
213
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,413
--free delivery.
214
00:09:56,583 --> 00:09:59,815
Now, that can't be good
for the transmission.
215
00:10:04,782 --> 00:10:05,818
[KNOCKING]
216
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,422
Sabrina. Are you okay?
217
00:10:07,582 --> 00:10:09,175
It sounded like something fell.
218
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:10,537
HILDA:
Something like a redwood.
219
00:10:10,702 --> 00:10:12,454
What's going on in there?
220
00:10:13,141 --> 00:10:14,257
Salem and I are clogging.
221
00:10:14,421 --> 00:10:16,014
Good night.
222
00:10:16,581 --> 00:10:17,935
I've gotta zap this to the street.
223
00:10:18,101 --> 00:10:20,217
If my aunts see it,
I can kiss driving it goodbye.
224
00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:23,532
I'd appreciate it if you
didn't imply that I clog.
225
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,534
Why--? Why isn't it working?
226
00:10:27,699 --> 00:10:29,133
Check the emergency brake.
227
00:10:29,299 --> 00:10:30,938
Oh, right.
228
00:10:40,537 --> 00:10:42,415
Good, that'll buy me some time.
229
00:10:42,577 --> 00:10:43,568
Whoa.
230
00:10:43,737 --> 00:10:46,457
- I like this game.
- What's wrong with my magic?
231
00:10:46,617 --> 00:10:48,847
CAR: Nothing.
I just don't like being alone.
232
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,007
You can talk?
233
00:10:50,176 --> 00:10:51,451
CAR:
It was on my sticker.
234
00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:53,165
CAR:
I don't wanna sleep outside.
235
00:10:53,336 --> 00:10:55,895
In case you haven't noticed,
it's cold.
236
00:10:56,415 --> 00:10:58,725
Look, I know you'd rather stay
in my room, but you can't.
237
00:10:58,895 --> 00:11:01,012
My aunts would kill me
if they found out.
238
00:11:01,175 --> 00:11:03,484
CAR:
I could catch pneumonia out here.
239
00:11:03,655 --> 00:11:06,806
You could, if you had
blood and organs.
240
00:11:06,974 --> 00:11:08,124
VALERIE:
Sabrina?
241
00:11:08,294 --> 00:11:09,887
Oh, no. Keep it down, okay?
242
00:11:10,494 --> 00:11:13,167
CAR: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You sound like my first wife.
243
00:11:13,333 --> 00:11:16,167
Hey. I thought I heard you.
Who were you talking to?
244
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:19,404
Pet lizard.
Where did that little guy run off to?
245
00:11:19,573 --> 00:11:20,892
I came by to apologise.
246
00:11:21,053 --> 00:11:23,362
You know all those horrible,
nasty things I said about you?
247
00:11:23,532 --> 00:11:25,649
- I didn't mean them.
- Me neither.
248
00:11:25,812 --> 00:11:27,087
- Friends?
- Friends.
249
00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:28,282
[CAR COUGHING]
250
00:11:28,452 --> 00:11:29,441
[SABRINA COUGHING]
251
00:11:29,611 --> 00:11:32,490
Hey, hot car. When did you get it?
252
00:11:32,691 --> 00:11:34,569
Uh, just a few minutes ago.
253
00:11:34,731 --> 00:11:37,609
From a new neighbour
who's moving to Australia.
254
00:11:37,770 --> 00:11:38,965
It's so cool.
255
00:11:39,130 --> 00:11:41,486
- Can I borrow it?
- But you have a car.
256
00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:45,404
My grandma's ride to church died,
so she wants it back. Please?
257
00:11:45,569 --> 00:11:47,720
Valerie, this is kind of
hard to explain, but--
258
00:11:47,889 --> 00:11:50,324
ZELDA: Those files aren't gonna
carry themselves in here.
259
00:11:50,489 --> 00:11:52,560
HILDA: Just let me hear Jerry
Springer's thought for the day
260
00:11:52,729 --> 00:11:54,640
and I'll meet you in the garage.
261
00:11:54,808 --> 00:11:57,926
Uh, sure, you can borrow it. In fact,
why don't you keep it at your place?
262
00:11:58,088 --> 00:11:59,841
That way you can park it
somewhere warm
263
00:12:00,008 --> 00:12:01,236
and it will never be lonely.
264
00:12:01,408 --> 00:12:03,364
- Lonely?
- British engineering.
265
00:12:03,527 --> 00:12:06,167
Very delicate. Here.
266
00:12:06,646 --> 00:12:08,285
Thank goodness we saved this stuff.
267
00:12:08,446 --> 00:12:09,880
No, I saved it.
268
00:12:10,366 --> 00:12:12,835
I save things.
I just forget where I save them.
269
00:12:13,006 --> 00:12:15,520
That's called losing things.
270
00:12:15,885 --> 00:12:18,878
If I hadn't had the foresight
to put everything in my name,
271
00:12:19,045 --> 00:12:20,763
the house, the phone,
the credit cards
272
00:12:20,925 --> 00:12:22,961
we would never get out
from under this audit.
273
00:12:23,124 --> 00:12:26,117
So how was the garage?
Nice and empty?
274
00:12:28,044 --> 00:12:29,717
It's from the auditors.
275
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,803
Oh, what a relief.
276
00:12:31,964 --> 00:12:33,238
They're cancelling the audit?
277
00:12:33,403 --> 00:12:35,793
No. It says they're
only going to audit you.
278
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,078
Why would that be?
279
00:12:37,563 --> 00:12:40,077
Because everything's in your name.
280
00:12:40,242 --> 00:12:43,792
Good luck, sis. Looks like there's
nothing but free time for me.
281
00:12:43,962 --> 00:12:45,635
And what better way to
enjoy that free time
282
00:12:45,802 --> 00:12:47,953
than by relaxing in the company
of Mr. Kraft?
283
00:12:48,121 --> 00:12:49,350
No.
284
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,035
I really think my plan
is gonna work.
285
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,193
I'll just keep the car
hidden at Valerie's.
286
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,558
You know,
this is how people get hurt.
287
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,077
Oh, no. What are you doing here?
288
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:01,798
CAR:
Hello to you too.
289
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,759
You know, that little brunette
is a menace to motoring.
290
00:13:04,919 --> 00:13:06,638
And she sings along with the radio.
291
00:13:06,799 --> 00:13:08,472
Either that or she's been injured.
292
00:13:08,638 --> 00:13:10,231
[PHONE RINGING]
293
00:13:11,118 --> 00:13:12,109
Hello?
294
00:13:12,278 --> 00:13:14,509
Sabrina. I just looked outside
and I can't find your car.
295
00:13:14,678 --> 00:13:15,794
I think somebody stole it.
296
00:13:15,958 --> 00:13:18,074
Oh, no, no, no. I've got it.
The car's here with me.
297
00:13:18,237 --> 00:13:19,274
Phew!
298
00:13:19,438 --> 00:13:21,713
- Oh, well, good night.
- See you tomorrow.
299
00:13:22,157 --> 00:13:24,068
CAR:
Hey, I heard a good story.
300
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,590
[PHONE RINGING]
301
00:13:26,356 --> 00:13:28,474
- Hello?
- Why did you take the car?
302
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:31,305
Yeah, it is unbelievable.
303
00:13:31,476 --> 00:13:35,674
I mean, you'd think they'd tire of it
after maybe six or seven times, but no.
304
00:13:35,835 --> 00:13:41,149
These seniors still seem to find
removing my brake fluid very amusing.
305
00:13:41,315 --> 00:13:44,546
Let me get this straight. Your aunt had
an allergic reaction to frozen yogurt,
306
00:13:44,714 --> 00:13:47,183
so you came over to my house
in a cab and took the car?
307
00:13:47,354 --> 00:13:48,833
In a manner of speaking.
308
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,269
Did you drive it to school today?
309
00:13:50,434 --> 00:13:51,584
No. I left it at home.
310
00:13:51,753 --> 00:13:54,825
Hey. Did you guys see the cool orange
MGB parked in front of the school?
311
00:13:54,993 --> 00:13:58,542
- Oh, I did drive it. That's mine.
- But I have the keys.
312
00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:00,305
I hot-wired it.
Can I have the keys back?
313
00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:02,350
Okay. Let me borrow it
during lunch, please?
314
00:14:02,512 --> 00:14:04,390
I don't know.
It depends on how it's behaving.
315
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,270
I mean running.
316
00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:08,104
It was fine.
317
00:14:08,272 --> 00:14:09,751
Thanks, Sabrina.
318
00:14:09,991 --> 00:14:12,107
Where did you ever learn
how to hot-wire a car?
319
00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,068
My Aunt Zelda.
320
00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:15,983
She did time.
321
00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:18,547
When are you gonna let me
tune up your new ride?
322
00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:22,261
My dad showed me how to make
a car go 80 miles an hour in first gear.
323
00:14:22,749 --> 00:14:24,502
Why would anyone want
their car to do that?
324
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,059
He didn't say.
325
00:14:26,788 --> 00:14:27,825
VALERIE:
Hey.
326
00:14:27,989 --> 00:14:29,582
- I need my keys.
- Oh, I don't have them.
327
00:14:29,749 --> 00:14:31,865
- I did something you'll love me for.
- I am?
328
00:14:32,028 --> 00:14:33,747
- I lent your car to Mr. Kraft.
- What?
329
00:14:33,908 --> 00:14:36,502
Apparently, he's got a hot date
and a car with no brake fluid.
330
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,260
And guess what
he gave us in return.
331
00:14:38,428 --> 00:14:41,817
Permission and bus fare to
attend the journalism symposium.
332
00:14:41,987 --> 00:14:43,307
Way to go, Valerie.
333
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,537
Did Mr. Kraft say where
he was going on his date?
334
00:14:45,707 --> 00:14:49,256
I don't know. When he started singing
"I'm in the Mood for Love," I got woozy.
335
00:14:52,946 --> 00:14:56,461
So until you produce your
missing savings account,
336
00:14:56,625 --> 00:14:58,741
we're putting a lien on your magic.
337
00:14:58,904 --> 00:15:00,737
No magic cabinet,
338
00:15:00,905 --> 00:15:02,497
no magic cauldron,
339
00:15:02,664 --> 00:15:05,179
no laptop.
340
00:15:07,464 --> 00:15:08,818
[GASPS]
341
00:15:09,503 --> 00:15:11,938
But I'm a witch.
How will I cast spells?
342
00:15:12,103 --> 00:15:13,219
With this.
343
00:15:25,101 --> 00:15:26,615
This isn't magic.
344
00:15:26,781 --> 00:15:28,897
This is a crummy bar mitzvah.
345
00:15:30,740 --> 00:15:34,131
Well, don't you look stupid.
346
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,098
Sabrina, what are you
doing home so late?
347
00:15:37,579 --> 00:15:41,971
I was looking for Mr. Kraft
to return a pen I borrowed.
348
00:15:42,139 --> 00:15:45,371
There haven't been any live police
chases on TV tonight, have there?
349
00:15:45,539 --> 00:15:47,770
Mr. Kraft is at the drive-in
with your aunt Hilda.
350
00:15:47,939 --> 00:15:49,452
- What?
- Isn't that nice?
351
00:15:49,938 --> 00:15:52,009
I'm stunned with happiness.
352
00:15:52,178 --> 00:15:54,613
Hilda knew how much you wanted
to go to that symposium,
353
00:15:54,778 --> 00:15:56,734
so she thought she'd
put in a good word for you.
354
00:15:56,897 --> 00:15:58,172
That was so sweet.
355
00:15:58,337 --> 00:15:59,407
I should thank her.
356
00:15:59,577 --> 00:16:02,648
In fact, I should thank her right now.
357
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:07,088
A Joe Don Baker retrospective.
358
00:16:07,576 --> 00:16:09,852
- What a treat.
- Yep.
359
00:16:10,016 --> 00:16:12,575
Buford Pusser fans don't come
any bigger than me.
360
00:16:14,895 --> 00:16:16,249
[GUNSHOTS IN MOVIE]
361
00:16:16,855 --> 00:16:18,847
[BANJO MUSIC PLAYING IN MOVIE]
362
00:16:20,894 --> 00:16:22,488
Hey. Hey, car.
363
00:16:22,654 --> 00:16:23,724
CAR:
Oh, look who's here.
364
00:16:23,894 --> 00:16:26,203
Miss I'll-Let-Anybody-Drive-Him.
365
00:16:26,693 --> 00:16:29,288
Look, I promise you can stay
in my room forever, okay?
366
00:16:29,453 --> 00:16:31,967
If you just do me a favour and
behave yourself tonight, okay?
367
00:16:32,133 --> 00:16:35,284
CAR: I bet you don't even care
that I'm parked on gum.
368
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:38,570
I do care. It's just that's my aunt and
my vice principal in your front seat,
369
00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:40,530
so if you could just
keep your voice down.
370
00:16:40,692 --> 00:16:41,727
CAR:
You really had me fooled.
371
00:16:41,891 --> 00:16:43,565
I thought you were kind
and warm-hearted.
372
00:16:43,731 --> 00:16:44,721
[CAR SNORTS]
373
00:16:44,892 --> 00:16:45,961
Boy, was I wrong.
374
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,247
Did you just snort?
375
00:16:48,610 --> 00:16:51,205
Look, I'll explain everything later,
okay? Honest.
376
00:16:51,370 --> 00:16:52,361
CAR:
Later, later, later.
377
00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:54,487
You never have time for me.
378
00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:56,164
Now you sound like your first wife.
379
00:16:56,330 --> 00:16:58,889
CAR:
That's hitting below the fan belt.
380
00:16:59,049 --> 00:17:00,608
I need to be alone.
381
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,806
No. No, don't do that.
That would be bad.
382
00:17:06,809 --> 00:17:08,083
[ENGINE REVVING]
383
00:17:08,248 --> 00:17:10,365
[HORNS HONKING
AND HILDA SCREAMING]
384
00:17:11,528 --> 00:17:12,882
[HILDA SCREAMING]
385
00:17:13,808 --> 00:17:15,800
[HORNS HONKING]
386
00:17:19,287 --> 00:17:21,438
Please don't be in my room.
Please don't be in my room.
387
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:22,757
Please don't be in my room.
388
00:17:24,886 --> 00:17:27,720
All right. Chalk one up to the power
of positive thinking.
389
00:17:30,126 --> 00:17:31,559
Aunt Hilda, how was the movie?
390
00:17:31,725 --> 00:17:34,285
I laughed, I cried.
You're in big trouble.
391
00:17:34,445 --> 00:17:36,960
What about Mr. Kraft?
I mean, did you put him under a spell?
392
00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:39,639
No. Fortunately,
he passed out from terror.
393
00:17:43,284 --> 00:17:44,797
Still breathing.
394
00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:47,603
I know it's gonna be a while before
you two are done yelling at me,
395
00:17:47,763 --> 00:17:49,959
so should we brew a magic potion
for Mr. Kraft?
396
00:17:50,123 --> 00:17:52,637
I can't.
The auditors booted my laptop.
397
00:17:52,802 --> 00:17:55,636
Besides, sometimes I worry that
all those potions we give him
398
00:17:55,802 --> 00:17:58,397
are gonna have some sort
of side effect.
399
00:17:59,682 --> 00:18:01,115
[KRAFT MUMBLING]
400
00:18:04,641 --> 00:18:07,759
Willard, you are so witty.
Thanks again for a lovely evening.
401
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,070
- Good night.
- Hilda.
402
00:18:10,841 --> 00:18:12,354
I was--
403
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:18,430
I have got to start
videotaping my dates.
404
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,554
We have to think of a suitable
punishment for Sabrina.
405
00:18:21,718 --> 00:18:24,279
She has to learn how to
behave responsibly.
406
00:18:24,439 --> 00:18:28,557
It's time like these that I regret
donating our iron maiden to Goodwill.
407
00:18:28,718 --> 00:18:30,789
Well, look at that.
408
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,746
They always return to
the scene of the crime.
409
00:18:35,357 --> 00:18:38,555
Zelda, Hilda, what I did was wrong.
410
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,709
You better not be talking
about buying that shirt.
411
00:18:40,877 --> 00:18:42,913
You two have done so much for me.
412
00:18:43,076 --> 00:18:45,910
You've kept me employed. You--
You put a roof over my head.
413
00:18:46,076 --> 00:18:47,954
How will I ever earn
your forgiveness?
414
00:18:48,436 --> 00:18:52,270
You can start by paying us back
all the magic you stole from us.
415
00:18:52,755 --> 00:18:56,510
There's a slight problem with that.
See, the guy at the casino--
416
00:18:57,034 --> 00:18:59,151
Okay. I'll earn it back. I will.
417
00:18:59,314 --> 00:19:01,829
I just need a place
to lie low for a while.
418
00:19:01,994 --> 00:19:03,348
We know the perfect place.
419
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:09,430
Zelda? Hilda?
420
00:19:09,592 --> 00:19:11,949
Anybody?
421
00:19:12,593 --> 00:19:14,390
Is that a yeti?
422
00:19:15,473 --> 00:19:18,704
WOMAN [OVER PA]: Any available
service manager, Line 1.
423
00:19:18,872 --> 00:19:20,100
Quizmaster.
424
00:19:20,272 --> 00:19:22,342
I can't handle this thing.
It's nothing but trouble.
425
00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:23,945
That's why I sold you this car.
426
00:19:24,111 --> 00:19:26,068
To make you realise
you weren't ready for one.
427
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,062
You took a job here
just to teach me a lesson?
428
00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:30,826
No. I've got college loans.
429
00:19:30,990 --> 00:19:34,301
Well, let's take this baby to Guido
and turn back its odometer.
430
00:19:34,470 --> 00:19:36,223
CAR:
Make yourself scarce, huckster.
431
00:19:36,389 --> 00:19:39,939
I need a few minutes alone
with Miss Learner's Permit.
432
00:19:40,109 --> 00:19:42,385
No problem.
That Chrysler's teaching me Spanish.
433
00:19:44,468 --> 00:19:46,188
I'm sorry things didn't work out.
434
00:19:46,348 --> 00:19:47,338
[CAR SNIFFS]
435
00:19:47,508 --> 00:19:50,579
CAR: Me too. I've got something
for you on my dash.
436
00:19:51,467 --> 00:19:54,824
WOMAN [OVER PA]: Any
available service manager, Line 1.
437
00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:57,544
"What is a friend?" Aw.
438
00:19:57,827 --> 00:20:01,263
CAR: If you read the inside,
you'll see that a friend is someone
439
00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:05,658
who changes someone's oil
once in a while.
440
00:20:07,065 --> 00:20:08,785
I'll miss you too.
441
00:20:09,705 --> 00:20:11,378
Walking shoes are
a much better investment.
442
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:13,776
They're fun, cheap and
no way you can ruin friendships
443
00:20:13,944 --> 00:20:15,504
or endanger innocent lives, right?
444
00:20:15,665 --> 00:20:18,384
I loved that sports car.
445
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:20,303
- Kraft alert.
- How bad could it be?
446
00:20:20,464 --> 00:20:22,773
He already said we couldn't go
to the journalism symposium.
447
00:20:22,944 --> 00:20:24,218
Miss Spellman.
448
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:27,179
Just the little miscreant
I've been looking for.
449
00:20:27,343 --> 00:20:29,858
Good, because I gotta go
to metal shop.
450
00:20:30,343 --> 00:20:32,573
Me too. If you're late, they
don't let you wear the masks.
451
00:20:32,742 --> 00:20:34,142
Now, hold it.
452
00:20:34,822 --> 00:20:35,938
You know what I have here?
453
00:20:36,541 --> 00:20:38,022
- Your drawings?
- No.
454
00:20:38,501 --> 00:20:42,381
It's a file that I've been keeping on you
and all of your strange behaviour.
455
00:20:42,861 --> 00:20:44,375
But they're illustrated, right?
456
00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:48,020
For instance, the other night
I went to the movies with your aunt.
457
00:20:48,181 --> 00:20:51,730
And the next thing I know,
I'm alone on your front porch.
458
00:20:51,899 --> 00:20:53,175
Explain that.
459
00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:54,773
Oh, well,
you know what they say about
460
00:20:54,939 --> 00:20:56,817
men your age and memory lapses.
461
00:20:56,979 --> 00:20:59,733
Okay, if you say so,
I'll check into the chess club.
462
00:20:59,899 --> 00:21:01,413
Gotta go.
463
00:21:03,138 --> 00:21:06,336
Mother's right.
I need more potassium.
464
00:21:09,258 --> 00:21:12,489
Thank goodness my magic
will be restored next week.
465
00:21:12,657 --> 00:21:15,171
I despise doing laundry
the mortal way.
466
00:21:15,337 --> 00:21:18,250
Here's a tip:
It's not equal parts water and bleach.
467
00:21:19,457 --> 00:21:22,732
Oh, I see you decided to bring Marty
back from outer space.
468
00:21:22,896 --> 00:21:24,125
Not exactly.
469
00:21:25,935 --> 00:21:27,165
Haven't I been punished enough?
470
00:21:27,335 --> 00:21:30,692
I mean, all I did was almost
kill you and Mr. Kraft.
471
00:21:30,855 --> 00:21:33,529
Get back in there and do some
more filing, young lady.
472
00:21:33,695 --> 00:21:37,244
And don't just stand around
the water cooler telling jokes.
36626
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