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ALL:
Botox, Botox, Botox!
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00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,583
GLENN: Like all high-end
real estate companies,
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00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:19,551
Platinum
has a monthly Botox budget.
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00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:22,354
This month, I was able
to save us some money.
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00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:25,257
AMIR: Whoo!
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00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,725
Oh, yeah!
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00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:30,462
GLENN: Hey, everybody,
please welcome Dr. Chambong.
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00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,699
[ Applause ]
BAXTER: Yeah, all right!
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00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:37,036
DOCTOR: Uh, actually,
it's Mr. Doctor Chambong.
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00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,637
My first name is Doctor.
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00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,173
GLENN: I was sitting in the
bathroom just doing my business,
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00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,509
and I heard a voice
in the stall next to me.
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00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:46,078
DOCTOR: Let me talk
to you about science.
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00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,746
We know it exists,
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00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,648
but we can't really
see it, can we?
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00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,316
But we know it's there.
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00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:54,086
You know, some say they can
send a man to the moon.
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00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:58,657
And it has been responsible for
all of our modern-day miracles.
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00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:02,761
The incandescent light bulb,
freeways, and juice.
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00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:06,298
[ Applause ]
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00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,535
With me is a modern day elixir
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00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,837
of de-aging mystification.
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00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:15,074
I'm not gonna waste
one more second...
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00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:17,176
before injecting
this sweet love juice
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00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,577
into your skin flaps.
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00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,546
VICTORIA: On a desert island,
three things I need
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00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,681
are rice crackers,
George Clooney, and Botox.
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00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,216
But if I really had
to think about it,
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00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:25,617
it's just really Botox.
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00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,820
BAXTER: You don't get to look
like Santa's hottest elf
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by accident.
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00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,722
ALL: Put the face
back in our face.
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00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,292
Put the face back in our --
-DOCTOR: Hang on one second.
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00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:34,426
I do want to say this!
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00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,562
I do want to say
that all of us
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are in the upper echelon
of income,
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and we're very privileged
to have this service done.
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00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:44,436
There are kids down the street
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00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,371
eating their own
stomach linings.
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That's the only way
they can find nourishment.
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00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:52,644
So let's -- let's take hold
of that and get to it!
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[ Cheering ]
-Let's get to it!
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00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:57,749
Okay, who wants to be
the first one?
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00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:19,738
BAXTER: Any need
for alcohol swabs or...
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00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,173
-DOCTOR: No.
-BAXTER: Okay.
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00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,542
DOCTOR:
But some alcohol, maybe.
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00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,344
You want a bourbon?
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00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:28,614
BAXTER: Yeah, so I think, like,
like just mostly -- okay, yeah.
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00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,883
DOCTOR: Doesn't hurt a bit.
Right there.
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00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:33,685
Oh, you were a bit off kilter,
and now you're not!
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Well done! Yes!
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00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:38,490
BAXTER: I can actually
feel myself getting handsomer.
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DOCTOR: Here we go.
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00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:40,692
VICTORIA:
Don't worry about pain.
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00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:41,927
I've taken like four Vicodin.
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00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,896
DOCTOR:
Where we start, nobody knows.
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00:02:43,898 --> 00:02:47,332
Right there. Yes.
Surprise is very good.
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It's receptive to the Botox.
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00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,769
Right there.
AMIR: Wow.
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00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,505
-DOCTOR: There. And there.
-VICTORIA: Oh! Oh!
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BAXTER:
Is she having an orgasm?
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00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,942
DOCTOR: And we're done!
We're done!
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VICTORIA: Oh, my God!
BAXTER: Wow.
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00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,913
DOCTOR: Did you finish?
BAXTER: Did you just come?
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00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:03,916
VICTORIA: I find
there's no greater aphrodisiac
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00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:06,685
AMIR: Everyone's worried
about their face,
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00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,786
but that's amateur hour.
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00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,788
I am gonna stop sweating.
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00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:12,758
AMIR: Ow!
No, that definitely -- ow!
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00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,726
DOCTOR: Right.
Right into your mammaries.
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00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,528
AMIR: You went
through my nipple hole.
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00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,297
DOCTOR: Thanks
for the mammaries.
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00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,866
[ Laughter ]
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00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,268
AMIR: Ow, ow!
You go right through the hole.
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00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,369
VICTORIA: Mr. Pun!
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DOCTOR: You're done.
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00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,939
BAXTER: Thanks
for the mammaries.
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00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:30,375
ALL: Thanks for the mammaries!
Thanks for the mammaries!
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00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,577
AMIR: Do you know what they say?
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00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:34,813
No nip pain, no nip gain.
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00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,950
DOCTOR: Well, I must go off.
My Uber is waiting. Okay.
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00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:39,885
VICTORIA: Oh, okay.
DOCTOR: Bye, everyone.
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VICTORIA: Goodbye, Doctor.
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00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,855
DOCTOR: Oh, by the way,
this is not Botox.
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00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:47,326
I'm legally required
to say it's "Brtox."
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00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,860
It's a fungi.
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00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:52,598
Speaking of which,
have fun, guys. [ Laughs ]
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00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,733
-GLENN: Oh!
-BAXTER: Yeah.
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00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,935
-VICTORIA: Yeah.
-BAXTER: Okay.
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00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,670
AMIR: Glenn,
you are the man, bro.
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00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,305
You saved the day.
You did it.
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00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:01,440
I have faith in you, dude.
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00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,308
VICTORIA:
You did something right.
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00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,445
AMIR: Whoa, Jesus!
Dude, your face.
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00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:07,579
BAXTER: What?
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00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,248
VICTORIA:
You're all bruised up.
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00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,783
BAXTER: Really?
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00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,460
CHELSEA: I'm meeting
with my home inspector, Hector.
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00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,761
We have an understanding.
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00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,996
I put up
with his crush on me,
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00:04:23,998 --> 00:04:27,399
and he gives me a great report.
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00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:33,538
HECTOR:
This place is amazing.
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00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:35,874
-CHELSEA: No -- No problems?
-HECTOR: No problems whatsoever.
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00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,510
There is a beautiful drainage
system.
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00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,879
All the corners have been,
like, spackled and redone.
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00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,447
They've got foam insulation.
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00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,049
CHELSEA: So it's fine
is what you're saying.
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00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:46,618
HECTOR: It's beyond fine.
Hey, you're beyond fine.
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00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,353
CHELSEA: Thank you.
That was easy.
110
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:51,990
CHELSEA: We're in out of
this pretty quickly then, huh?
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00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,293
HECTOR: Well,
I'd like to take some time.
112
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,628
CHELSEA: Why do you always
turn it just a little weird?
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00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,297
HECTOR: Well, that's me.
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00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,931
CHELSEA: And then
he ushers the lady
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00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,801
into a dark, cavernous place.
-HECTOR: Believe me,
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00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,836
if I was gonna murder you,
it would not be here.
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00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,338
You can see, like,
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00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:09,041
this whole thing
is completely earthquake safe.
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00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:11,076
It's been retrofitted.
-CHELSEA: Yeah.
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00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,645
HECTOR: You've got
secondary binders on all those.
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00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,480
CHELSEA: Hector's
top 10 basements, huh?
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00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,582
HECTOR: Oh,
speaking of Hector's top 10,
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00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:18,984
my gosh, you're my top 20.
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00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,519
CHELSEA: All right,
what did we say?
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00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:23,522
Okay, I've seen enough.
And so has Hector.
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00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:26,024
Is this where we came in?
127
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,959
HECTOR: How do you not know
where we came from?
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00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,329
CHELSEA: Oh, no, I...
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00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:34,866
Why can't I get locked
in a basement with a hot guy?
130
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,370
[ Hisses ]
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What the --
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00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,006
HECTOR: God!
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00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,975
Oh, my God, I almost
just jumped my pants out.
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00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:48,480
You know what, it probably --
probably a drought rat.
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00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,048
CHELSEA: A what?
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00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,751
HECTOR: Those are normal rats
that have feasted on other rats,
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00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,619
because this place is airtight.
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00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,088
[ Hissing ]
CHELSEA: Agh!
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00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,556
HECTOR:
Listen, stay next to me.
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00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,957
CHELSEA: No,
I'm more scared behind you.
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00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,692
You stay behind me.
-HECTOR: All right.
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00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,060
[ Hisses ]
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00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,795
Hang on, it's okay,
it's okay, it's okay.
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00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:08,467
CHELSEA: I just don't want to
confront anything that's alive.
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00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,107
ANDREW: I skipped out
on Botox this month
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00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:18,110
because it's the only time
Dean can meet with me.
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00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:20,112
Mm, mm, mm, mm!
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00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:22,714
DEAN: Now, why did you want
to see me, Baxter?
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00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,882
Andrew!
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00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,584
ANDREW: Yeah,
you didn't know my name.
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00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,119
DEAN: To be fair,
I knew your name,
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00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,820
I didn't know
that it went with you.
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00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,055
ANDREW: Yeah,
you actually corrected.
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00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,990
-DEAN: I self-corrected.
-ANDREW: Yeah.
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00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,892
He's just a good friend,
so I take no offense
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to you calling me Baxter,
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00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,728
if that comes to mind,
'cause I get it.
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DEAN: And why did you want
to see me?
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00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:41,166
ANDREW: I was gonna talk
about the partnership, but...
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00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,702
it's clear
I need something more.
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00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,504
What I really want to ask you
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00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:49,474
is maybe you could be
a father-like figure to me.
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00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:52,110
Like, if I could come to you
for work-related stuff,
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00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,513
but also just have somebody
I could come to
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in times when I just need
somebody to be...
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00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:59,785
like a dad.
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00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,487
DEAN: Andrew...
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00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,623
this father-figure business,
what's in it for me?
169
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,458
ANDREW: Your volunteering
your time maybe at a --
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00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,160
DEAN: I don't know what that is.
I don't know what that is.
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00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:09,961
ANDREW: You don't know
what volunteering is?
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00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,631
DEAN: I know the word.
I don't know the experience.
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00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,966
ANDREW: Can I give you
an example of a problem I have?
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00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,768
DEAN: Please, I wish you would,
I wish you would.
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00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,136
ANDREW: This will be
a small problem.
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00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:22,474
I think I'm addicted
to Tylenol PM.
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00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:25,043
ANDREW: I can't sleep
without it,
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00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,978
and I've increased my dosage
179
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,514
where I take seven
to get sleepy.
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00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:32,083
DEAN: How many are you supposed
to take on the package?
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00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,452
ANDREW: I mean,
I started with one.
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00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:37,789
I think they say
for an adult, two.
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00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,892
DEAN: And you want advice
about this?
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00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,228
Stop doing that.
185
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,532
ANDREW: Is it just me, or are
Dean and I kind of like...
186
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:50,202
[ Beeping ]
187
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:54,940
DEAN: Now let me give you
my review of the experience.
188
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,676
It was boring.
189
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,878
It was boring to tell you that.
190
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,613
ANDREW:
Will you please be my daddy
191
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,949
and just put aside some of your
own things for a little bit?
192
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,217
DEAN: This is verging
on inappropriate.
193
00:08:05,219 --> 00:08:10,822
ANDREW: Will you please...
be Poppy to me?
194
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,123
DEAN: Andrew...
195
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:16,495
I'm going to pretend
to take a phone call.
196
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:19,531
that will give you
an opportunity
197
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:20,699
to exit my office.
198
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:21,833
ANDREW: It's to --
199
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,202
DEAN:
And we'll both pretend...
200
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,705
that you didn't ask me
to please be your daddy.
201
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,039
ANDREW: Will you call mommy?
202
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,008
DEAN: Uh-oh.
Phone's ringing.
203
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,711
ANDREW: No.
Who is it?
204
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,046
DEAN: Hello, Dean Rosedragon.
205
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,982
Oh, very important, you say?
206
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:39,985
Well, I have time.
That will be all.
207
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,153
ANDREW: Who is it?
208
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:45,557
DEAN: I should have asked you
to agree to our terms.
209
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,092
I see now my mistake.
210
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:55,534
SUSAN: Hello.
211
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:59,538
Oh. Victoria.
212
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,140
[ Gasps ] Oh, my God!
213
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,543
VICTORIA: Susan!
Welcome to Platinum.
214
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:08,813
SUSAN: [ Screaming ]
215
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:11,550
AMIR: Victoria and Baxter's
faces are messed up.
216
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,718
But mine's great.
217
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,654
I'm just sweating from...
218
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,155
every inch of my body.
219
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:18,623
No.
-VICTORIA: It's okay.
220
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,025
SUSAN: No, please,
don't hurt me.
221
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,293
VICTORIA:
We're real-estate brokers.
222
00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:22,928
AMIR:
We're real estate brokers.
223
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,296
-SUSAN: Please.
-AMIR: It's okay.
224
00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:27,866
SUSAN: I want to spend 300
on two-bath with a view.
225
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,134
VICTORIA: We can help you.
226
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,936
BAXTER:
Oh, we had fake bad Botox.
227
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:33,138
-VICTORIA: Yes.
-SUSAN: Oh, please!
228
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,173
I want to live!
I want to live.
229
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,042
BAXTER: A view
of what, downtown?
230
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:40,679
SUSAN: [ Screaming ]
Don't touch me!
231
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,583
BAXTER: You want
downtown view?
232
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,585
VICTORIA: That is the third
potential client
233
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,787
to run away
from the office today.
234
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:52,791
And I'm beginning to think
there's something wrong.
235
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,797
ANDREW: I'm meeting
with a new client --
236
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,799
movie star Tobin Carr.
237
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,033
I'm a huge fan.
238
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,736
And I'm hoping
that closing this deal
239
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,838
will win me Daddy Dean's love.
240
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,073
Loved you in "The Candle Guy."
241
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,841
TOBIN:
Yeah. So good, yeah.
242
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,076
ANDREW:
That's too many candles.
243
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,344
TOBIN: Yeah,
it was one too many.
244
00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:14,346
-ANDREW: Yeah.
-TOBIN: That's great, great.
245
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:16,281
ANDREW: I dabble in a little
acting myself.
246
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,249
-TOBIN: Oh, you do?
-ANDREW: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
247
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:19,985
These are not
prescription, they're just --
248
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:23,021
TOBIN: Oh, I totally thought
that they were prescription.
249
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,090
You're doing
a really good job squinting.
250
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:26,825
ANDREW: Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
251
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,094
I'm just a little star-struck.
-TOBIN: Oh, no problem, yeah.
252
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:31,062
Happens all the time.
So nice to meet you.
253
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,398
Thank you so much
for showing me this house.
254
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:40,105
You know, this is kind
of ticking all my boxes.
255
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:41,239
ANDREW: Well, good.
256
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,807
TOBIN:
I want to see the indoors.
257
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,143
Can I talk to you
for one second before we go in?
258
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,646
I just got cast
in a new film --
259
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,848
very last minute.
Starts shooting on Monday.
260
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,216
ANDREW: Wow.
261
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,118
TOBIN: It's a very,
very important film for me.
262
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,020
I need to start getting
into character.
263
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,254
I need to spend this weekend
264
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,056
sort of doing research
on the character.
265
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,791
ANDREW: That's awesome.
266
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,394
TOBIN: So I'm kind of hoping
that you could just refer to me
267
00:11:02,396 --> 00:11:04,329
by my character's name
when we're in there.
268
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,864
ANDREW:
Okay, yeah, this is fun.
269
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,132
TOBIN: Billy.
Guy named Billy.
270
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,400
ANDREW: Yeah, hey.
These are not real.
271
00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:09,901
I can do this.
Okay, Billy.
272
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,670
TOBIN: Billy!
So just refer to me as Billy.
273
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:14,272
ANDREW: That's easy.
So let's take a look, Billy.
274
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:17,208
-TOBIN: Here we go.
-ANDREW: Get in there.
275
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:22,280
ANDREW:
What...do you think of this?
276
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,082
The marble floors...
277
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,184
go right
into all hardwood floors.
278
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,920
That's throughout the entire
property.
279
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,690
We have a nice
little private bar over here.
280
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:35,293
Nice room. You have
the guys...the guys over.
281
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,764
You okay, Billy?
282
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,834
TOBIN: Why did you
bwing me here, mister?
283
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,739
ANDREW: So it turns out
Billy's a kid.
284
00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:58,349
BAXTER: Guys, I know we don't
really want to admit this,
285
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:01,820
but I don't think
that Chambong was a real doctor.
286
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,121
AMIR: I think you're right.
287
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,456
I'm pretty sure
when I asked him
288
00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:06,791
where he went to medical school,
he said, "Yes."
289
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:10,295
VICTORIA: Amir
and Baxter look crazy.
290
00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:12,063
AMIR:
We all look like monsters.
291
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,431
VICTORIA:
How do you think I feel?
292
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:16,067
Yeah, I look beautiful,
but I can't move my face.
293
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,469
BAXTER:
You don't need your face.
294
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:19,237
AMIR: Getting injected
with poison really
295
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,239
put us at each others throats.
296
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,208
VICTORIA: I mean,
I look great with Brtox.
297
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,043
Flawless, wrinkle-free.
298
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,311
I can't blink,
299
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:30,014
but the doctor just said
to manually do it --
300
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:31,750
which is fine.
301
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,519
Jesus.
302
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,454
Every one
of these glasses is broken!
303
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,823
BAXTER: Your lips aren't
working, that's the problem.
304
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,225
VICTORIA: It's my lips?
AMIR: Yeah.
305
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,893
BAXTER:
Yeah, your lips look crazy!
306
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,328
AMIR: Chambong fucked us.
307
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:46,131
There's no way that Chambong --
Cham-bomb? Chambong.
308
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,799
BAXTER:
It has been a Cham-bomb.
309
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,502
BAXTER:
And it's gone off all over us.
310
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:54,272
Chambong convinced me
to give him my car keys,
311
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,341
and I went down
to where my car is,
312
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,376
and guess what's waiting there?
-VICTORIA: What?
313
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,779
-BAXTER: A guy selling nuts.
-AMIR: Hold on.
314
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,314
You're telling me
he took your car, drove it away,
315
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,784
then rented your parking spot
to a nut dealer?
316
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,852
BAXTER: I think so.
But when I went down there,
317
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:10,388
I said, "Hey, where's my car?"
He said, "Do you need a ride?"
318
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,257
VICTORIA: I can't even
drink water!
319
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,892
Okay, my lips don't even work.
320
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:16,127
BAXTER: That doesn't equate
to what's happening to us.
321
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,328
VICTORIA: It absolutely does!
322
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,130
I'll die of dehydration.
323
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,498
AMIR: You can drink water,
324
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,467
you just can't get it
through your dumb lips.
325
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,369
-VICTORIA: No, no! No.
-AMIR: Drink it!
326
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:25,970
Ah, look, you're drinking water!
327
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,406
VICTORIA: Oh, my -- You have
been waiting for a moment
328
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,208
to get my white shirt wet.
329
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,343
How dare he!
330
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:40,485
ANDREW: I'm showing
movie star Tobin Carr
331
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,054
a new house -- I mean Billy.
Billy.
332
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:46,157
TOBIN: Why did you bwing me
to your stwange house?
333
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,458
ANDREW: Oh.
334
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,427
So, Billy's a kid.
But I --
335
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,896
I think I can still
close this deal.
336
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:55,466
Okay, no...
I wanted to show you the house
337
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:59,037
that maybe, Billy, this could be
a nice house for you to own.
338
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:02,340
TOBIN: You want me to be
in your house with you,
339
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,042
Mr. Stranger?
340
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:05,443
ANDREW: I'm not a...
341
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,912
Well, yeah, that's true.
342
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,114
Come in and look at my house.
Jesus Christ.
343
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,583
TOBIN:
Okay, Mister, I was told
344
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:13,618
I wasn't supposed
to do things like this,
345
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,054
but I'll come
into your house 'cause --
346
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,322
[ Whimpers ]
347
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,257
ANDREW: I'm not gonna
do anything to you.
348
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,892
Stwanger danger!
349
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:23,528
ANDREW: I know in Hollywood
a talented actor
350
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,464
can play any role,
but I'm not sure I buy Billy.
351
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:29,267
TOBIN: I assume you want
to have sex with me,
352
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,969
a wittle boy.
353
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,238
Okay, Mister,
you can have sex with me.
354
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,505
ANDREW: No.
355
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,474
TOBIN:
Where do you want to do it?
356
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:40,311
You want to do it here, Mister?
[ Sobbing ]
357
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,347
ANDREW: You don't
have to cry, Billy.
358
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:45,049
We're not gonna
do it until later.
359
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,451
TOBIN: Weally?
360
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:48,152
ANDREW: Yeah, we're gonna --
we'll figure it out
361
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:51,522
after I show you around my --
the tree house.
362
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,224
It's a special tree house.
363
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,460
-TOBIN: Okay.
-ANDREW: Hey, Tobin?
364
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:57,362
TOBIN: Who's Tobin?
365
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,097
ANDREW: Oh, no. All right.
366
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:01,966
So I'll just show you around,
and you can make a decision
367
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,636
whether Billy, you'd like
to own this house.
368
00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:06,638
TOBIN: Okay.
How much moneys is it?
369
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,474
ANDREW: Well, the starting price
is $11.5 million.
370
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:13,077
TOBIN: Millions dollars?!
I don't have that kind of money.
371
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:16,214
I saved $5 in my allowance.
372
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,483
-ANDREW: Altogether or just --
-TOBIN: Altogether.
373
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,952
-ANDREW: Or per week?
-TOBIN: No, no!
374
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:23,621
It took me 500 weeks.
375
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,324
-ANDREW: That's like --
-TOBIN: 10 years.
376
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,959
-ANDREW: Okay.
-TOBIN: Just under.
377
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,560
ANDREW: I mean,
I knew at the beginning
378
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,663
of even trying to figure it out,
it wasn't gonna be enough.
379
00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:33,398
But I still tried
to figure it out.
380
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,000
TOBIN: Some people think
because I'm 11 years old,
381
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:37,435
I shouldn't be
talking like this.
382
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,970
-ANDREW: You're 11?
-TOBIN: Yeah.
383
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,039
ANDREW: 11 years old,
that's almost the age
384
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,441
to, like, grow pubic hair.
385
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,410
TOBIN: Do you want
to see my pubic hair, Mister?
386
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,045
ANDREW: No,
that wasn't a question, no.
387
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,113
-TOBIN: All right, Mister.
-ANDREW: That wasn't a question.
388
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,282
-TOBIN: I knew this was coming.
-ANDREW: No.
389
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,583
No, no, no, no, no, no.
-TOBIN: No?
390
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,018
ANDREW: Zip that way back up.
391
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,987
TOBIN: They're short,
but they're cute.
392
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,022
-ANDREW: What is?
-TOBIN: My pubies.
393
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,358
ANDREW: Oh. Okay, no,
I don't want to see that at all.
394
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,726
I hate this movie.
395
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,962
No. No.
396
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,431
I think you'd really
like this property,
397
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,132
and I'm talking to Billy,
but I'm also,
398
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,435
I want to make sure
anybody else who is listening,
399
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:12,303
I think this would be --
-TOBIN: Help!
400
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,705
-ANDREW: No, no, no, no!
-TOBIN: Help me!
401
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:15,673
Andrew Wright
is twying to wape me!
402
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:19,310
ANDREW: No!
I'm not trying to rape anybody!
403
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:22,113
I'm not trying to rape anyone!
404
00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:30,755
CHELSEA: Suddenly Hector isn't
the biggest predator
405
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:34,258
We're being hunted
by a wild animal.
406
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,594
-HECTOR: You're strong!
-CHELSEA: I don't feel it!
407
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,162
HECTOR: You can do this!
408
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,298
CHELSEA: I feel hard
and soft at the same time!
409
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,633
-HECTOR: Hey, hey, hey!
-CHELSEA: I'm like cheese.
410
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,669
HECTOR: Do you feel our bodies
pressing against each other?
411
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,270
CHELSEA: Unfortunately.
412
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,406
HECTOR: This is what was
supposed to happen. It's okay.
413
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,208
CHELSEA: I don't want
to die in your arms.
414
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,542
HECTOR: What?
415
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,077
CHELSEA: Oh, God.
416
00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:54,545
HECTOR: What is that
supposed to mean?
417
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,347
CHELSEA: I just want someone
better.
418
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,083
[ Hisses ]
Oh!
419
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,785
Hector, I have so much more
I want to do.
420
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:03,588
You're done with your life,
you don't understand.
421
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:06,024
-HECTOR: What?!
-CHELSEA: You are!
422
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,759
HECTOR:
I'm 45, I'm not dead!
423
00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:11,162
CHELSEA: Pretty close.
[ Animal chittering ]
424
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,164
Oh!
425
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,299
-HECTOR: [ Screaming ]
-CHELSEA: Why would you leave?!
426
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:18,202
Why would you leave?!
Why would you leave a woman?
427
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,638
Oh, God.
I'm all alone.
428
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,641
I didn't think
I would die wearing Rayon.
429
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:26,110
Please, tell my followers
I love them.
430
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:27,712
Please, tell --
-HECTOR: Chelsea --
431
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,547
CHELSEA: [ Screams ] Whoa!
Oh, Hector.
432
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,815
HECTOR:
I thought I lost you.
433
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,683
CHELSEA: Oh, Hector,
I thought you were dead.
434
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:36,054
HECTOR: No.
I'm right here.
435
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,688
-CHELSEA: Oh!
-MAN: Oh, my gosh!
436
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,690
-CHELSEA: Who are you?
-MAN: I'm the cable guy.
437
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,392
I came down here
a long time ago,
438
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,693
and I've been stuck down here.
439
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,763
Did you come to rescue me?
Yes, yes! Finally!
440
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,398
CHELSEA: How long have you been
down here?
441
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,699
MAN: Oh, how long?
I don't know.
442
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,135
Uh...is "Desperate Housewives"
443
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:53,438
still really,
really liked on the outside?
444
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,506
CHELSEA: Ooh.
Na -- no, baby, no.
445
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:58,743
MAN: Oh, it's been a long time
'cause it was, like, up there.
446
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,678
CHELSEA: So you've been down
here this long?
447
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,480
How have you survived?
What have you eaten?
448
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:05,149
MAN: I sing for mice at night,
and they come, and I eat them.
449
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:06,717
-HECTOR: Wait, what?
-CHELSEA: You sing?
450
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,253
-MAN: I sing for mice.
-HECTOR: Like a specific song?
451
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,622
MAN: No, I've been mixing it up.
A little early Petty.
452
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,391
CHELSEA: This is officially
my worst nightmare --
453
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,560
trapped in a basement
with two middle-aged white dudes
454
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:17,762
who aren't Billy Zane
and Anthony Kiedis.
455
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,630
HECTOR: Most people
don't have cable anymore.
456
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,566
-MAN: Yeah, really?
-CHELSEA: Oh, yeah.
457
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,267
[ Hissing ]
MAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
458
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,669
Shh, did you hear that?
459
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,237
That's her.
-HECTOR: Who's her?
460
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,172
MAN: That's the possum
that's been hunting me
461
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:30,108
and I've been hunting her.
-HECTOR: What?!
462
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,876
MAN: I call her treachery.
I hear you!
463
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,711
-HECTOR: Whoa.
-MAN: I hear you!
464
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:36,681
This is the last time
around, opossum!
465
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:39,617
No, no! I will drop,
but save yourselves.
466
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,119
CHELSEA: Okay.
He said run.
467
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,388
MAN: I'm coming for you!
[ Screaming ]
468
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:47,291
CHELSEA: I used Hector as
a battering ram and we got out.
469
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,862
HECTOR: Whoa! Whoa, ho ho!
That was nuts!
470
00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:52,630
CHELSEA:
Yeah. It was insane.
471
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,499
-HECTOR: Holy cow.
-CHELSEA: Oh! Are you all right?
472
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:57,468
HECTOR: Oh, you know. I think
I probably sprained it.
473
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,571
Want to give it a rub, though?
-CHELSEA: No, I do not.
474
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,875
Should we go back
and get that guy?
475
00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:05,710
HECTOR: Let's go.
476
00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:08,212
CHELSEA: Who am I to upset
the delicate ecosystem
477
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,580
of a basement?
478
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:18,723
VICTORIA: I told Glenn
479
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,758
if he didn't get Doctor Chambong
back in this office,
480
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:24,162
I was gonna flatten
his nut sac like a pancake.
481
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:25,196
GLENN: Get in here.
482
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:27,698
-BAXTER: Good!
-DOCTOR: Hi.
483
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,767
-BAXTER: Where was he?
-GLENN: He was under the pier.
484
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,836
He was throwing dice
with a bunch of stray dogs.
485
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,572
DOCTOR: Listen, guys,
you don't look bad at all.
486
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,240
AMIR: The other guys'
faces are all messed up,
487
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:38,409
but I'm just sweating,
which is just fine
488
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:41,846
because I --
Well, this is new.
489
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,714
-BAXTER: Yeah!
-DOCTOR: Okay, okay!
490
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,616
BAXTER:
What did you do to us?
491
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,718
VICTORIA:
Mr. Doctor, look at my face!
492
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,420
I'm very upset right now.
493
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,956
BAXTER: Her face is slightly
different than it was before.
494
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,658
VICTORIA: It is
slightly different.
495
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,526
DOCTOR: Askew.
It's just a little askew.
496
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,395
BAXTER:
Mine...is fucked.
497
00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:00,231
I have a family reunion
this weekend -- not mine!
498
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:01,832
DOCTOR: Tell 'em you're
in a fight club.
499
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,868
VICTORIA: The stuff
obviously didn't work.
500
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,736
BAXTER: Emir's sweating
worse than he ever did!
501
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,471
AMIR: I'm sweating
out of everything.
502
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:10,675
DOCTOR: Okay, this is all gonna
go down in about five days.
503
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,276
Five business days.
504
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:13,544
BAXTER: Son of a bitch!
505
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,812
I don't have five business days!
506
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,214
DOCTOR: Please don't sue me!
507
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,715
VICTORIA:
I just want the good stuff,
508
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,317
something that will actually
make a difference.
509
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,485
BAXTER: You gave us Brtox.
We want the good stuff.
510
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:24,855
DOCTOR: Wait, you're...not gonna
sue me? You want the good stuff?
511
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,290
AMIR:
We want the good stuff, man!
512
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,825
-VICTORIA: Yes!
-BAXTER: If you have it.
513
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,594
DOCTOR: Okay, all right.
514
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:31,562
Of course I do!
Of course I do!
515
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,532
AMIR: This is the fifth shirt
that I've sweat through today.
516
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:35,700
DOCTOR: Look!
517
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:38,636
I've got the better version
of Brtox.
518
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:39,870
I've got Brotox.
519
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,839
-ALL: Brotox!
-DOCTOR: Yeah!
520
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,541
It was in this --
VICTORIA: Yeah!
521
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:44,842
-BAXTER: Okay.
-DOCTOR: Yeah, yeah.
522
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:46,944
How about some?
-ALL: [ Chanting "Brotox" ]
523
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,746
GLENN: Chambong
is a great doctor.
524
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,681
He's also a notary public,
a marijuana clown,
525
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,016
and a he smokes his own meat.
526
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:54,318
I bought prime rib
out of the trunk of his Corolla.
527
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,887
I ate that trunk meat,
and it was yum.
528
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,623
-BAXTER: Oh!
-DOCTOR: Oh, boy!
529
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:01,325
-VICTORIA: My turn, my turn!
-DOCTOR: That's gonna do ya.
530
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:02,994
-AMIR: Yeah.
-BAXTER: Feels really good.
531
00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:04,996
-AMIR: Oh!
-BAXTER: Feels really good.
532
00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:07,598
AMIR: Wow! Is he supposed
to sound like that?
533
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,400
DOCTOR: Well,
his other eye is going,
534
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:10,735
so it's a match.
535
00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:12,670
-AMIR: Oh, all right.
-DOCTOR: You're next.
536
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:13,738
You look beautiful.
537
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,941
ALL: [ Chanting "Brotox" ]
538
00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:24,282
BAXTER: Now this is
the good stuff.
539
00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:57,748
Honey roasted peanut man,
where's my car?!
540
00:21:57,798 --> 00:22:02,348
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