All language subtitles for Alias Smith And Jones s02e19 The Biggest Game in the West.eng

You know what, Heyes, to open a safe

the way you try to open that one is an art,

like playing a piano,

to play a piano well you gotta practice,
you gotta keep your hand in there.

I think you've lost your touch.
I think you can't open it.

You keep talking you'll be right.

Shut up and I'll have this thing open.

It's like I was slicing a piece of cake.

Like slicing a cake...

Heyes, you're a genius!

If it wasn't so quiet out there I'd applaud.

Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry

The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West

and in all the trains and banks
they robbed they never shot anyone.

This made our two
Kansas cousins very popular

with everyone
but the railroads and the banks.

One thing
we gotta get, Heyes.

What's that?
Out of this business.

The governor can't come flat out
and give you amnesty now

first you gotta prove you deserve it.

Lom, are you saying that all
we've got to do is stay out of trouble

until the governor figures
that we deserve amnesty?

And in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?

Well, that's true

until then only you me and
the governor will know about it.

It'll be our secret.

That's a good deal?

I sure wish the governor let
a few more people in our secret.

Oh, this is a real Kansas day, isn't it?

Yeah...
where are we?

Texas?

Probably. Or New Mexico.
Who cares?

It's so beautiful and peaceful
I wouldn't care if we ran into the Wyom...

It's still a beautiful peaceful day...

I suppose it just fell off?

It was thrown off!

You know, Kid, as a recognized
authority on the subject,

I'd say that's a posse.

I can tell that for the sound.

Oh, oh, tell me this isn't true!

Tell me I'm not taking
stacks and stacks and stacks

of beautiful green Federal Government
currency out of a little black bag

just dropped on our laps outta nowhere!

Kid, you're not taking stacks and stacks

of beautiful Federal green currency
out of a little black bag.

I'm not?

No, you're taking stacks and stacks

of counterfeit Federal currency
out of a little black bag

Counterfeit...?

Counterfeit.

How can you be so sure?

Because, Kid,
I'm also a recognized authority on

Federal Government currency and

and this ain't it.

Heyes, why we putting this back?

There's nothing we can do with it.

What are we gonna do with it?

We try spending it we just get caught.

We try turning it in somewhere we'll just

have to answer a bunch of questions
we can't answer.

If we leave it somewhere
like a baby on a doorstep

well then, somebody will just
come along and steal it.

You know, Kid, you're right.

But I got a better idea.

Yeah.

I've always wanted to have money to burn.

This is it.

A $200,000 bonfire?
Right!

All right,
you count one two three go!

One.
Two. Three. Go!

Oh, that's beautiful.

Wait!

Well, what's the matter?

I think I got a way!

A way to do what!?

To use it!

Not legally, you ain't!

Yeah, legally.

That's impossible!

Kid, you just come along and watch.

Jones,

my bag, please.

I'd also like some modest
accommodations for my assistant here.

Well, we got a real nice room for you,

top floor, rear, just a dollar a day.

Or I could give you...
Oh, no, that'll be fine.

I'll have to register for him.

His name is Jones.
Thaddeus Jones.

Excuse me,

I'm Joshua P. Smith.
I'm looking for the owner, Mr. Sterling.

Oh, I'm Mr. Sterling.
What can I do for you?

Mr. Sterling, I wish
to place $200,000 in your bank.

Oh, of course
you have to fill out a deposit form...

No, I'm afraid you misunderstood.

I don't wish to deposit the money,

I merely want to put it
in your bank for safe keeping.

Nearly a quarter of a million dollars?

Just...put into a vault?

Not drawing interest!

Not being utilized?

That's correct.

Well, it can't be!

Nobody just locks up $250,000 in a vault.

It isn't decent.
Isn't Christian.

Mr. Sterling, please don't be offended, but

well, banks have been known to go bankrupt.

Not this one, sir.

Just the same,

I prefer to have my funds
safely tucked away,

not drawing interest and not being utilized,

until I complete my purpose
here in Lordstown.

Then what may I ask is that?

Mr. Sterling, I'm looking for cattle land.

Good cattle land.

Jones here is a cattle expert.

He's gonna help me find
what I'm looking for.

Well, you...you have come to the
right part of the country.

Of course, values are sky-high,
but well worth it.

Some of the wealthiest cattlemen in America

keep their funds right here in this Bank,

in complete confidence and safety.

Oh, I'm sure of that.

Now, if we could

count my funds

and get them quickly
into a safe deposit box.

Yes, yes, of course...

I'd also appreciate a receipt.

All right, all right,
we'll do it your way, but...

may I suggest we have
supper some evening?

I'd like to discuss the
philosophy of capitalism with you.

You don't seem to understand it.

There it is.

Hadn't thought of selling it,
but I might if the price is right.

Sure is pretty.
How many acres are there?

90 maybe a 100,000.

Yeah, you're right, Mr. Bixby,
it's beautiful land,

but I'm afraid I couldn't allow my client

to buy anything less
than 200,000 acres in one parcel.

You see, his cattle plans
require that as a minimum.

Well, that's all right, young fella.

I wasn't too anxious
to sell that range, anyway.

Yeah.

Hi, Kid.

I don't how to break this to you,
but you shaved off your moustache.

Yeah, I decided it made me look sinister
which is not good for our plan.

Maybe that's a problem.

Well, you know what day this is?

Saturday.

Yeah, Saturday.
I'm worried.

And if you weren't worried about something,
I'd be worried.

You know we must have talked
at least a half a dozen millionaire ranchers

and have any mentioned that game.

I'm getting to think Wheat was having
another one of his pipe dreams.

Kid, how many times did Wheat try to talk us

into robbing the Lordstown game?

I only remember once.

Then I asked him if he really
wanted 6 or 7 angry ranchers

with millions in the bank,
out hunting him down.

I talked him out of it three times.

He knew all about the game -
when and where it was

what stakes.

He even knew that they didn't
play a very good poker.

All right,

so maybe the game is for real.

But isn't it obvious by now, Heyes,
they're not gonna invite you...

Come in.

Hello.

Hey, Mr. Bixby, Mr. Halverson.
How are you? Come on in!

Thank you.

We got to have a few words
with you in private, Mr. Smith.

Well, if it's about land
I'd like my advisor here to stay.

It's not about land.

Well, in that case...
I'll...

I'll meet you down to the lobby, Mr. Smith.

Gentlemen.

So long.

What happened to your soup strainer?

I found out I didn't like strained soup.

Say what can I do for you, gentlemen?

You wouldn't happen to be
a poker player, would you?

Everybody plays poker.

Do you like to play?

Oh, I like a friendly game.
Why?

Well, we got a real friendly game
right here in Lordstown.

It starts every Saturday, at 3:00 p.m. exact

and it finishes every Sunday,
at 3:00 a.m. exact.

I see.

Well, if you gentlemen
are inviting me to join you,

I'm afraid I'll...
I'll have to decline.

It's too risky and...

I've got too much to lose.

Yeah, I'm right sorry you say that.
See,

we don't let anybody play on our game

unless they can afford
to lose like $100,000.

Yeah, that's one of my rules and

all our players are thoroughly checked out -

and I think all of us could afford
to lose as much as $200,000.

We probably got the biggest poker game
west of the Mississippi River

going on right here in Lordstown.

And it happens every Saturday.
Every Saturday.

Well, that does make a difference.

May I think it over?

You've got 'till 3 p.m.

And then that big old door
gets locked next that lobby

and the game is on

Players get there on time
or they don't get in at all.

I hope you can join us.

Gentlemen, if I'm there
I'll be on time.

Thank you.

Nice to see you again.

Right a nice young fella, ain't he?
Very nice.

Hallelujah, the biggest game in the West!

Kid, where are you?

All right.

All right, boys, the ante is 200 big ones.

I'm in.

It's a lucky game for lucky people.
Ever when it goes to dinner...

Gentlemen, I can see that I've
already made one mistake.

I...I assumed that we were
gonna be playing with chips

and then settling up with
bank drafts after the game.

I'm sorry this is all my fault.

But I thought we understood
we were gonna play with

cash in hand and table stakes.

Suppose I let you have
5,000 of these big ones

until Monday morning, say?

Mr. Bixby, that's just fine.

I assure you the next Saturday
I won't come without cash.

I usually have quite a bit on me.

I think we can believe that, Mr. Smith!

All right,
how was that? 200?

I'll open for 25 cents.

Four.

I'll call the thousand

and I'll raise it a thousand.

I'll make it fifty cents.

All right, I'll call your 50 cents

and I'll raise you 50.

I'll see that now
due to another 1000.

This is too breaker for me.
I can't make it this time.

He must have something.

I raise you $2.

That's too steep for me.

What happened?

It worked, Kid.
Like a Swiss watch!

Bixby loaned me 5,000
without blinking an eye!

And an hour later
I paid him back out of one hand!

How'd you do?
How'd I do?

Kid, it was a poker game.

That's like me asking you
if some old lady outdrew you.

Don't know exactly how much I got -

it wouldn't be the thing to
count it out there at the table.

You know, they play fair poker,
not good poker, but fair.

In jacks-or-better, if you open
and one of them 's got a pair of queens

he not only stays - which he shouldn't -
he sometimes raises.

$14,800

Heyes, let's get out
on a boat and go to China.

Kid, we got us a stake.

Next Saturday I'll come out
with three times as much.

You want to stay here for a whole week?

What do we do?

We'll shop for land.

Who knows, we might even buy some!

Well, Wheat was sure right -

they're meeting regulars a depot clock.

5 of 'em are already inside.

Now, Ralph, you're ready
to lose a lot of money tonight?

I'm not ready
to lose any kind of money tonight.

Well, I hope I'm not late.

Hey, Joshua,
we're afraid you're gonna leave town

without give us a second chance with you.

Well, I probably will conclude my
business here in town in a few days

so I'll tell you one thing:
you better make the most of this session.

Well, I'm sure it'd embarrass you
to leave Lordstown a winner,

so we're gonna do our best
to keep that from happening.

What's in the pot?

$3.00

How much have you got there front of you?

I guess about 30,000.
You want me to count it out?

No, no, no,

let's see how a little bet
of $10,000 sets with you.

$10,000 on a one-card draw.

Don't bother counting it out.
I trust you, Carl.

Oh, too bad.

All right, boys,

Nobody move and nobody gets hurt.

Keep them hands where we can see 'em!

Hey, Wheat, look!

All right, let's take the money, boys.
Come on!

All right, let's take it out and get it.

All right, let's go.

We're leaving one man at the street door!

Anybody leaves this room
within five minutes gets shot.

All right boys, we don't need
the telegraph pullin' out. Drop it!

We don't need the pillow either.
Come on!

Try and figure out
what you had in front of you!

I'm gonna rouse the sheriff!

Never mind me, go for the sheriff.

Just one more game, huh?

Couldn't quit when I said to!

You just had to stay for one more game!

Well, now we're flat busted.

Kid, will you stop it?

We were flat busted last week,

but we didn't have this problem.

What problem?

Well, I didn't tell you but

when Kyle saw me said:
'Hey, Wheat, look!'

Oh, no!
Did he point?

No, and my poker friends thought that

he meant all that money
lying there in the middle of the table.

But I'm just wondering how long
it's gonna take 'em to figure out

that 'Wheat' meant 'Wheat Carlson',

who's known to be a member
of the Devil's Hole gang.

I mean how many outlaws
are there named 'Wheat'?

And when you start thinking
about the Devil's Hole gang,

you naturally start thinking about
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry.

Right.

And when a sheriff compares their
descriptions to you and me...

You want us to hightail
it out of here right now?

No, Kid, we can't do that.

We can't leave that counterfeit money

and we can't get at it till Monday.

Have we got 'till Monday?

I don't know.

Kid, I think we got a risk finding out...

No!

No, we ain't sitting around
waiting for the axe!

We are gonna do something!

Like what?

Kid, you gotta leave town!

You got to go out and you got to tell
that gang to give back that money!

You're kidding!

Heyes, you're lost your mind!

Tell them that they can keep the
35,000 that was in front of me, but

but that they got to give back the rest.

You really think they're gonna do that?!

Kid, sure they will.

Why, I'd go myself if it wouldn't start

all my Rancher friends around here thinking!

You just go out and you
remind them of all the reasons

that we used to give 'em
for not robbing that game.

And tell 'em that...

that if they do it our way
they're gonna be $35,000 richer.

And they won't have 6 mad
millionaire ranchers scouring the country

trying to find 'em and hang 'em!

I think you could do it, Heyes.
You got me believin'.

I think you could really do it.

Kid,
so can you.

You! Smith!

I want to talk to you, sir.

I'm surprised to see you here Mr. Sterling.
I thought you lived outside of town.

I just got out of church, sir.
Let's talk.

Sure, what's on your mind?

Not here. In private.
We'll go to your hotel room.

Well, let's talk business.

On Sunday, Mr. Sterling?

I work 24 hours per day 7 days per week.

There's nothing un-Christian about work.

For instance, this morning I was checking
stock certificates in my safe

then I decided to check out something else.

Something else?

You're putting cash into a vault,
just sitting there.

You know that bothered me night and day.

So this morning
I took a look at that cash...

a good look.

Mr. Sterling,
that box is supposed to be private!

You're not even supposed to be able
to open it without the second key.

We can go into how I opened
that box some other time.

The point now is what I found in there.

And what was that?

I don't have to tell you.

Oh, well, tell me anyway.

You know as well as I do, that money,
every last sour note of it, is counterfeit.

Now, Mr. Sterling,

what if I told you that
I merely gave that money to you

for safe-keeping, and I...

I planned to turn it over to the authorities
at my first opportunity.

I wouldn't believe you,
and the authorities wouldn't believe you!

Now look, I didn't put it into the bank.
That's illegal.

And I didn't use it.
That's also illegal.

You had the money in your possession,
you still do and that's illegal!

You say you wanted to talk business?

Yes.

I have something to sell you.

What's that?

Silence.

I'll let you go ahead and do
whatever it is you plan to do -

if we can make a satisfactory
and private arrangement.

Well, what's it worth to you?

Well, I'd say...

your silence would be
worth an awful lot to me.

Oh, I'd say about...

$10,000.

Let us say about $15,000 -

real dollars.

15?

It will take a little time to raise 15.

How much time?

Say, Wednesday?

All right.

Wednesday it is.

Then I call in the law.

This is Sheriff Grimly.

Come in.

Hello, Mr. Sterling.

Interruptin' somethin' am I?

No, no, no, Sheriff,
I was just leaving.

Didn't see you in church this morning.

Why don't you keep looking, Mr. Sterling.
Hope for all of us.

I'm trying to find out
what that thief said last night.

'Weed' or 'Wheat'?

No, Sheriff.
Sounded like 'Weed' to me it.

It did?

Sounded like 'Wheat'
to everybody else except Mattson,

and you now.

Well, maybe I heard 'Weed' 'cause I
once heard of an outlaw named 'Weed'.

'Weed Bronson' that was his name.

I never heard of a 'Weed Bronson'.

I have heard the name 'Wheat' somewhere.

How about you?

No, Sheriff.
'Weed' not 'Wheat'.

You got any idea what that fella meant
when he said

'Hey, Wheat, look!'?

Well, when he said 'Hey, Weed, look!'
I thought he was talking about...

all that money
just lying there on the table.

That's what the other players figured.

By the way, what happened to that
cattle advisor of yours, Mr. Jones?

Oh, he's up north here
looking at some land for me.

He'll be back on Wednesday.

'Weed' you said?

That's it.

Thanks.

Sheriff Grimley.

But we can't decide on a thing
like this without Wheat!

You haven't got time to wait for Wheat!

Look, it took me 2 days to get down here
it's gonna take me another 2 to get back -

even then it may be too late.

You'll make me wait for Wheat
to get back from Denver,

I guarantee it's gonna be too late!

You really expect us
we just hand you over $200,000 -

biggest haul we ever made!?

I'll tell you, Lobo, I'll give you a choice:

you can keep the money

and have 6 of the meanest richest men
west of the Mississippi

out hirein' and every bounty hunter and
gunmen they can find to hunt you down!

Or you can keep the 35,000
that belong to Heyes

and let me take the rest back,
in which case nobody's out looking for you!

They don't even know who we was.

Lobo,

don't you know that there are
as many wanted posters

out on Wheat as there are
out on Heyes and me?

And everyone of 'em says 'Wheat Carlson
member the Devil's Hole gang'.

Now, wait a minute.

I think the Kid has point here.

What's wrong for 35,000 and peace

against 235,000 and war!?

What's wrong is

the difference between 35,000 and 235,000.

Now, that's what's wrong!

Well, there's another reason:

we'd be doing it for Heyes and the Kid.

Yeah, that's right.

You mind if I point out

that you'd be doing it

while Wheat's not here to agree?

No.
You!

No, you would.
No not me!

You'd be doing that.

I don't want to hear no more about it.

That's all there is to it.
You'd be doing it!

Mr. Sterling,

my associate hasn't returned yet and I...

I can't meet the terms of your proposition.

I just need a little more time.

No more time.

You meet the terms or I turn your

'money' and you
over to the Federal authorities.

Why'd you nod at that safe?

Isn't my money in your vault?

No, I keep valuable items in the vault.

Your money's over there in the safe.

But don't worry it's secure.

It's a Pierson & Hamilton '73.

I know -

oh, I mean I know it's secure.

Look, I just need a few more days -

Mr. Smith, I'm gonna send
for a Federal Agent now, today.

If you can come up with the money
before he gets here,

then you still have a deal.

that's all I'm gonna say for now.

But if you send for an agent now, and

and I meet your price later,

what are you gonna say to the agent?

Let me worry about that.

You worry about getting your money back

keeping me from turning you over to the law.

Welcome back!

They wouldn't do it...

You're all right.

Cousin, you're all right!

Come on.

The opening is not wide enough.

Heyes, are you sure
we can bend those bars back

so no one can tell what was done to 'em?

Shut up and watch the street.

You know what, Heyes, to open a safe

the way you try to open that one is an art,

like playing a piano,

to play a piano well you gotta practice,
you gotta keep your hand in there.

I think you've lost your touch.
I think you can't open it.

You keep talking you'll be right.

Shut up and I'll have this thing open.

It's like I was slicing a piece of cake.

Like slicing a cake...

Heyes, you're a genius!

If it wasn't so quiet out there I'd applaud.

I'm surprised I had to look you up.

I thought we had some business to talk.

Business?

The Federal Agent I told you about?
He'll be here any minute.

Now, you...
you ready to close it...

close the deal or not?

What deal?

In other words, you didn't raise the money.

Money?

Mr. Sterling, I don't have the
faintest idea what you're talking about.

Good!

'Cause I've decided I never should have
talked to you in the first place.

Don't try to leave town -
because you'll never make it!

And if you want to change your mind,
you've got about 2 minutes.

Mr. Collins...?
Yes...

I'm J. P. Sterling.

Thanks for coming so quickly;

I thought you'd never get here.

Don't thank me, Mr. Sterling.

We've been looking for the exact sum
of counterfeit money you wired us about.

You have?

Almost had our hands on it a while back,

but the man who had it
managed to get rid of it somehow.

Well, you're about to find out how

you just come with me.

Hotel's right over there.

You've got it at the hotel?

No, no, the men
who deposited the money with me

they're in the hotel.

Well, I'd rather see the money first,
Mr. Sterling,

if you don't mind.

Money's in the bank,
it can't go anywhere.

But I think those men are planning
to leave town right now.

Gentlemen.

Mr. Smith?

Yes?

My name is Collins,
I'm an agent of the Federal Government.

May I come in?

What can I do for you?

Mr. Sterling, tells me you put a large
sum of money into his bank last week.

Not into his bank,

into his safe for safe-keeping.

Yeah, he made that clear.

He also claims the money's counterfeit.

Goodness me, I hope he's wrong.

Well, that won't be difficult to determine.

Only reason I came here first is

Mr. Sterling had some idea
you might try to leave town

before I got a chance
to look the money over.

Well, let's just go look at that
money right now, shall we?

Get my bag, Jones.

It's not only counterfeit money,

it's not particularly
good counterfeit money!

Mr. Sterling,

I hope you have a good explanation

for bringing me here to Lordstown

and for falsely charging this gentleman

with possession of counterfeit money.

This is a good Federal currency!

Mr. Sterling,

I'm surprised at you.

You weren't supposed to be able
to open that box without my key.

But we all make mistakes, don't we?

And I'm inclined to

let the whole thing drop right here.

Agreed?

Agreed!
Oh, yes, yes!

I know you won't mind if I don't
keep my funds with you any longer.

Mr. Jones,

you have Mr. Sterling's receipt.

You will give it to him.

Mr. Sterling,

I intend to rent a room,

take a bath,

dine and refresh myself

before leaving on the 2:30 stage.

You'll be receiving a bill
from the government

for my room, transportation
and all expenses.

Goodbye, Mr. Sterling.
Good day, Mr. Collins.

Mr. Sterling,

it's been a real pleasure.

Here's your receipt, Mr. Sterling.

Thank you.
Mr. Jones?

Please?

Tell me:
how did he do it?

Do what, Mr. Sterling?

What happened?

No problems?

No.
No problems.

I had to give that desk clerk $10

and a long story to get him
to go across to the post office,

but if I do say so myself, Kid,

then I got in and out of there
just as clean as a whistle.

How long before that stagecoach leaves?

About 20 minutes.

Yes?

Is Mr. Jones there?

It's all right.

Something I admitted at the poker game.

Can I come in?

I hope you don't ever say I told you this,

but the sheriff is rounding up his deputies

and I think it's got something
to do with you and Mr. Smith.

Parsons!

Yes, sheriff?

What room is that fella Jones in?!

412, sheriff!

Don't be alarmed, ladies.

It's all counterfeit.

Well, boys,

if they're who we think they are
they're on that train

and we can't catch it.

Well, Perry you'll lose
a little money tonight?

Not if I can help it!

Almost three.

Okay, boys, three sharp!
Come on...

I'm gonna skin you today, Carl.
Oh yeah?

Bixby!
Yeah?

Well, I know now,
who held up your poker game:

The Devil's Hole gang.

What?
Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

That gang's run by
Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes.

You know both of 'em.

What do you mean by that?

They've been right here
in my town for 2 weeks.

Like Hannibal Heyes has been in your game -

your friend Joshua P. Smith.

Now wait a minute, Sheriff,
I find that hard to believe.

So do I,

not to mention it being painful.
But it's true.

Well, they'll be in custody before dark.

They're on the train going west

and I've notified every
sheriff's office down the line

to check that train from engine to caboose.

Well now, that's good news.

I go to the telegraph office
and wait for word.

Good work, Sheriff.

We'll be right in here
when you get that word.

I'll be darned...

What?
What is that?

Look at this...

Go get that sheriff!

Heyes, I've been trying to figure out
how we came out on all this.

We started off with $12 between us, right?

12 dollars and 70 cents.

And at one point we had between us

over $200,000 - in real money, right?

$200,719.

And now we got 8 cent between us, right?

Kid, I don't know how to tell you this,

but I backslid.

What?

I backslid.

When I had Sterling's safe open
this fell onto the floor.

$100?

Is it good?

It is.

As I say, it fell on the floor and

I stuck in my pocket
'cause of the hurry we were in.

Somehow, I just forgot to put it back.

It's not really backsliding, Heyes,
that's...

that's just being a little absent-minded.

Kid, you have a large and open mind.

Just can't believe it.
It's all there!

In front of each chair.

You sent for me?

Yes, sheriff.

I want you to telegraph
all those sheriffs along the rail line

and tell them to ignore
your first telegraph.

Why?

This's been a grave error.
There wasn't any hold up.

What?!

That's right, sheriff.

There's our money.
Every dollar of it.

We're withdrawin' on our robbery complaint.

No crime has been committed.

Do you care to explain this?

No, sheriff.

But aren't you kind of relieved to know that

Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes weren't
in your town for 2 weeks?

And that our game here wasn't robbed?

Now, yeah I'd...
I'd be real happy to believe that.

Should I?

Would we tell you if it wasn't the truth?

No, I reckon you wouldn't.

Now are you gonna go
sendin' those telegraphs?

All right, reckon I will.

Say, what was in that note anyway?

I read it to you.

It says here: 'Gentlemen,

I hope I divided the money accurately.

Anyway, it's all here except for what

I had in front of me
when the game was robbed,

which I haven't got anymore.

If anyone ever tells you

it was really Hannibal Heyes
you were playing poker with,

I hope you point out that
since none of you lost a nickel

either that person is wrong or

Hannibal Heyes must be an awful honest man.'

Signed Joshua Smith.

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