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1
00:00:16,834 --> 00:00:17,903
Riot Rivers!
2
00:00:17,969 --> 00:00:18,704
Aah!
3
00:00:20,073 --> 00:00:21,677
(humming softly)
4
00:00:21,744 --> 00:00:24,048
‐Riot Rivers!
‐(gasps)
5
00:00:24,115 --> 00:00:25,785
HOMER (staticky):
Honey, are you in there?
6
00:00:25,852 --> 00:00:26,987
Yes.
7
00:00:27,054 --> 00:00:29,158
‐Riot Rivers!
‐Aah!
8
00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:32,164
(chanting):
Ri‐ot Riv‐ers! Ri‐ot Riv‐ers!
9
00:00:32,231 --> 00:00:33,901
There it is! Turn!
10
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:35,470
‐(tires squealing)
‐Calm down!
11
00:00:35,538 --> 00:00:37,074
I'm not gonna miss
your stupid water park.
12
00:00:37,141 --> 00:00:38,678
It's not stupid.
13
00:00:38,744 --> 00:00:41,584
Riot Rivers was the
greatest summer job I ever had.
14
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,790
Getting paid to watch people
of all ages eat it,
15
00:00:44,856 --> 00:00:46,359
again and again.
16
00:00:46,426 --> 00:00:49,031
Just eatin' it so hard!
17
00:00:49,098 --> 00:00:50,568
‐♪ I wanna rock ♪
‐♪ Rock! ♪
18
00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:51,937
(laughter)
19
00:00:52,004 --> 00:00:54,610
♪ I wanna rock ♪
20
00:00:54,676 --> 00:00:57,047
♪ Rock! ♪
21
00:00:57,114 --> 00:00:59,953
‐♪ I want to rock ♪
‐♪ Rock! ♪
22
00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:01,422
Wait a minute.
23
00:01:01,489 --> 00:01:04,061
They did a documentary
about this place.
24
00:01:04,128 --> 00:01:06,366
(dramatic music plays)
25
00:01:09,205 --> 00:01:11,309
No, it didn't
happen that way.
26
00:01:11,376 --> 00:01:13,413
There was different music.
27
00:01:14,215 --> 00:01:17,054
(giggling)
28
00:01:17,121 --> 00:01:18,758
Hmm?
29
00:01:18,824 --> 00:01:20,227
Quiet Rivers?!
30
00:01:20,293 --> 00:01:22,799
They changed the "ruh"
to a "qwah."
31
00:01:22,866 --> 00:01:24,368
Did you know about this?
32
00:01:24,435 --> 00:01:26,807
I told you they changed the name
before we left.
33
00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:28,978
I thought you were joking.
34
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,815
That's the problem
with you, Marge.
35
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,786
You're always kidding around.
36
00:01:32,852 --> 00:01:34,388
(laughter and chatter)
37
00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:36,994
HOMER (groaning):
Oh...
38
00:01:37,061 --> 00:01:39,098
Oh!
39
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,768
Come on!
40
00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:44,241
See? They turned all the super
cool rides into baby rides.
41
00:01:44,308 --> 00:01:45,778
And the teens working here‐‐
42
00:01:45,845 --> 00:01:47,682
they're not even laughing
at the kids wiping out.
43
00:01:47,749 --> 00:01:49,485
They're loading them in
feet first.
44
00:01:49,553 --> 00:01:51,824
Hey! Where are your cutoffs?
45
00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:53,527
Are you even high?
46
00:01:55,063 --> 00:01:56,567
There's nothing worse
in this universe
47
00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:58,971
than a ride steering wheel
that does nothing.
48
00:01:59,038 --> 00:02:00,373
No, it does something.
49
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,779
It makes the frog smile.
50
00:02:04,148 --> 00:02:06,085
‐(Maggie babbles)
‐(Milhouse humming)
51
00:02:06,152 --> 00:02:08,724
Oh, man, swim diapers.
52
00:02:08,791 --> 00:02:10,595
I remember those.
53
00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:12,297
True freedom.
54
00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:15,337
I could tell you some stories.
55
00:02:21,048 --> 00:02:22,284
BOTH:
56
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:23,988
Can we leave yet?
Can we leave yet?
57
00:02:24,054 --> 00:02:25,323
Aw, you kids don't know,
58
00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:27,562
but this place
used to be so bitchin'.
59
00:02:27,629 --> 00:02:30,133
And the best slide of all
was right over there.
60
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,570
Think of it.
61
00:02:31,637 --> 00:02:34,141
90% of all hospitalizations
62
00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:36,279
off just one ride!
63
00:02:36,345 --> 00:02:38,851
I wonder...
64
00:02:42,090 --> 00:02:44,830
(gasps)
It's still here.
65
00:02:44,896 --> 00:02:48,136
The Devil's Deluge had
the longest lines,
66
00:02:48,203 --> 00:02:51,777
the scariest turns,
even its own ambulance!
67
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:55,785
Hello, my love.
68
00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:58,189
Did you miss me?
69
00:02:58,256 --> 00:03:00,293
♪ ♪
70
00:03:01,563 --> 00:03:02,599
Wow.
71
00:03:02,665 --> 00:03:04,268
‐Looks dry.
‐(wind whistling)
72
00:03:04,335 --> 00:03:06,138
And dangerous.
73
00:03:06,205 --> 00:03:08,443
(Homer grunting softly)
74
00:03:10,313 --> 00:03:13,019
Children, behold the deluge.
75
00:03:13,086 --> 00:03:15,290
For today,
we punch fear in the face
76
00:03:15,357 --> 00:03:17,595
and steal death's girlfriend,
77
00:03:17,662 --> 00:03:20,902
as we truly live
for the first time.
78
00:03:22,237 --> 00:03:23,373
(crashes)
79
00:03:23,439 --> 00:03:25,778
Also, this is
now the only way down.
80
00:03:28,283 --> 00:03:30,320
‐♪ I wanna rock ♪
‐♪ Rock! ♪
81
00:03:30,387 --> 00:03:32,357
(Bart and Lisa screaming)
82
00:03:32,424 --> 00:03:34,061
‐Branch!
‐♪ I wanna rock ♪
83
00:03:34,128 --> 00:03:35,564
‐♪ Rock! ♪
‐Possums!
84
00:03:35,631 --> 00:03:36,533
O‐possums!
85
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:37,936
‐♪ I want to rock ♪
‐(hissing)
86
00:03:38,002 --> 00:03:38,904
♪ Rock! ♪
87
00:03:38,971 --> 00:03:41,175
(Bart shouting)
88
00:03:41,242 --> 00:03:43,814
‐♪ I wanna rock ♪
‐♪ Rock! ♪
89
00:03:43,881 --> 00:03:46,319
(all yelling)
90
00:03:46,385 --> 00:03:49,024
‐♪ I wanna rock ♪
‐♪ Rock! ♪
91
00:03:49,091 --> 00:03:52,497
(laughter)
92
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,236
Oh, man, I saw my life flash
before my eyes.
93
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,341
I've had an awesome life.
94
00:03:57,407 --> 00:03:59,478
(laughter)
95
00:04:01,182 --> 00:04:03,186
Oh, look at those smiles.
96
00:04:03,252 --> 00:04:06,058
I knew
you guys could have fun here.
97
00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:08,229
Yeah, nothing gets
the heart pumping
98
00:04:08,296 --> 00:04:10,901
like a brush with... nothing.
99
00:04:10,968 --> 00:04:12,471
(stomachs gurgling)
100
00:04:12,538 --> 00:04:14,709
Um, I don't feel so good.
101
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:18,784
Aw. The quiet rivers
in my tummy are becoming...
102
00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:21,122
raging waters.
103
00:04:21,188 --> 00:04:22,792
Upstairs or downstairs?
104
00:04:22,859 --> 00:04:23,894
‐Both!
‐Both!
105
00:04:25,196 --> 00:04:27,802
Uh, out of the water!
Out of the water!
106
00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:31,409
(sirens blaring)
107
00:04:31,475 --> 00:04:33,747
Not me this time.
108
00:04:36,052 --> 00:04:37,555
According to these tests,
109
00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:40,393
your kids' insides
and outsides have been exposed
110
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:43,266
to a toxic mix
of 30‐year‐old hairspray,
111
00:04:43,332 --> 00:04:45,671
hot dog water, opossum dander,
112
00:04:45,738 --> 00:04:49,011
and a grab bag of intestinal
and skin‐based parasites.
113
00:04:49,078 --> 00:04:50,548
(chuckles)
114
00:04:50,614 --> 00:04:53,687
Oh, my poor queasy babies.
115
00:04:53,754 --> 00:04:56,726
Hmm. I wonder
why Homer didn't get sick.
116
00:04:56,793 --> 00:04:58,664
He even went to work today.
117
00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:02,270
‐(sirens blaring)
‐HOMER: Upstairs and downstairs!
118
00:05:02,337 --> 00:05:05,644
Bart and Lisa will be fine
after a little TLC.
119
00:05:05,711 --> 00:05:08,650
By TLC, I mean
"taking Lorexo‐Cortisone."
120
00:05:08,717 --> 00:05:11,690
And by little, I mean
a four‐week intensive regimen.
121
00:05:11,756 --> 00:05:15,263
Oh, steroids?
Are there any side effects?
122
00:05:15,330 --> 00:05:16,700
Nothing serious.
123
00:05:16,766 --> 00:05:18,904
Maybe a little
temporary weight gain.
124
00:05:21,342 --> 00:05:22,812
Hurry up, kids!
125
00:05:22,879 --> 00:05:25,718
You don't want to be late
for your first day of school.
126
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,757
Ah, a new school year.
127
00:05:28,824 --> 00:05:31,362
Uncracked books, pink erasers,
128
00:05:31,428 --> 00:05:33,700
a binder where
the rings still meet.
129
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,704
And I get
to find out what happened
130
00:05:35,771 --> 00:05:38,810
to those praying mantis eggs
I left in Skinner's office.
131
00:05:40,079 --> 00:05:43,119
If, uh, we all agree to respect
each other's workspace,
132
00:05:43,186 --> 00:05:45,123
this, uh, year will go
just fine.
133
00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:46,860
(hissing)
134
00:05:48,797 --> 00:05:52,237
Oh, look at that belly. Mwah.
135
00:05:52,304 --> 00:05:55,343
(singsongy):
Someone's getting chunky!
136
00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:57,347
(in slow motion):
Chunky.
137
00:05:57,414 --> 00:05:59,986
(distorted growling)
138
00:06:00,988 --> 00:06:02,925
♪ ♪
139
00:06:02,992 --> 00:06:04,829
(humming)
140
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:11,175
(screaming)
141
00:06:11,242 --> 00:06:13,179
Off you go.
142
00:06:13,246 --> 00:06:15,517
Don't want to be late
for school.
143
00:06:16,753 --> 00:06:17,989
Oh.
144
00:06:22,765 --> 00:06:24,902
LISA: Okay,
forget about what Mom said.
145
00:06:24,969 --> 00:06:26,438
Don't let it ruin
the first day of school.
146
00:06:26,506 --> 00:06:27,942
That's the best day of the year!
147
00:06:28,009 --> 00:06:29,846
Welcome, class.
148
00:06:29,912 --> 00:06:32,551
This year, we'll be learning
lessons that will stay with you
149
00:06:32,618 --> 00:06:34,922
for the rest of your lives.
150
00:06:34,989 --> 00:06:36,292
(shrieks)
151
00:06:36,358 --> 00:06:38,062
(Lisa sighs)
152
00:06:38,129 --> 00:06:40,400
(breathing deeply)
153
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:42,638
Calm down. It's okay.
154
00:06:42,705 --> 00:06:44,308
SKINNER:
Attention, students.
155
00:06:44,374 --> 00:06:46,045
Due to budget cuts,
the following
156
00:06:46,111 --> 00:06:49,552
after‐school programs have
been cancelled: dance chunk,
157
00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:52,490
intramural chunk‐ing,
and chunky chunk chunk.
158
00:06:52,558 --> 00:06:54,461
LISA:
What is going on with me?
159
00:06:54,529 --> 00:06:57,501
I'm going chunky.
Aah! I mean, crazy!
160
00:06:57,568 --> 00:06:59,839
(whimpering quietly)
161
00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:02,310
Get a grip.
162
00:07:02,377 --> 00:07:05,450
‐(rhythmic pulsating)
‐(gasping)
163
00:07:05,517 --> 00:07:06,953
♪ Chunk‐chunky, chunk ♪
164
00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:08,957
♪ Chunk, chunk! ♪
165
00:07:09,024 --> 00:07:11,028
Chunk‐chunk!
166
00:07:11,095 --> 00:07:12,364
Chunky!
167
00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:13,366
(whimpers)
168
00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:15,403
Lisa is soft now.
169
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:17,240
(screaming)
170
00:07:17,307 --> 00:07:19,579
‐(sleeves rip)
‐Hmm?
171
00:07:19,645 --> 00:07:21,649
Dang, Simpson.
172
00:07:21,716 --> 00:07:23,587
Have you been to Costco?
173
00:07:23,653 --> 00:07:25,724
'Cause you're carrying bulk.
174
00:07:25,791 --> 00:07:29,297
Oh, that's because
of the steroids I was taking.
175
00:07:29,364 --> 00:07:31,335
‐You see, my mom...
‐Steroids!
176
00:07:31,402 --> 00:07:34,441
‐Nice!
‐Yeah, badass!
177
00:07:34,509 --> 00:07:36,579
Like I was saying,
178
00:07:36,646 --> 00:07:38,583
I've been juicing pretty hard
all summer.
179
00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:41,255
Had to stop
because I beat up my dad.
180
00:07:41,321 --> 00:07:42,825
ALL:
Roid rage!
181
00:07:42,892 --> 00:07:46,733
No more hanging out with
those babies for you, Simpson.
182
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,471
Today, you become a man.
183
00:07:49,539 --> 00:07:51,241
What is this place?
184
00:07:51,308 --> 00:07:55,349
It used to be a padded cell
for left‐handed kids.
185
00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:57,955
Welcome to the Meat Castle.
186
00:07:58,022 --> 00:08:00,026
♪ ♪
187
00:08:01,328 --> 00:08:03,265
Say goodbye to your victim bod.
188
00:08:03,332 --> 00:08:06,706
Your shred‐ucation begins today.
189
00:08:06,773 --> 00:08:08,543
‐(heavy metal music plays)
‐Yeah. Swole!
190
00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:10,012
‐So swole!
‐(others grunting)
191
00:08:10,079 --> 00:08:14,922
‐(vocalizing)
‐Swole! Swole. Swole. Swole!
192
00:08:15,891 --> 00:08:17,628
(all grunting)
193
00:08:17,695 --> 00:08:19,632
I'm living every kid's dream‐‐
194
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,872
to be accepted
by his tormentors.
195
00:08:26,211 --> 00:08:29,351
MARGE (singsongy):
Someone's getting chunky!
196
00:08:29,417 --> 00:08:30,988
(Lisa groans)
197
00:08:34,127 --> 00:08:36,900
Oh, honey,
you seem down in the dumps.
198
00:08:36,966 --> 00:08:38,469
And I know why.
199
00:08:38,537 --> 00:08:40,607
You do? (sighs)
200
00:08:40,674 --> 00:08:42,978
Because it's really hard
to talk about when...
201
00:08:43,045 --> 00:08:46,285
Of course. I don't know
what I was thinking...
202
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:49,559
by not taking you shopping
for back‐to‐school clothes.
203
00:08:49,625 --> 00:08:51,161
Wait, wha...?
204
00:08:52,430 --> 00:08:55,537
Oh. Nothing upside downs
my frowns
205
00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:57,541
like a girls' trip to the mall.
206
00:08:57,608 --> 00:08:59,411
I don't know, Mom.
207
00:08:59,477 --> 00:09:01,181
I'm just not feeling it.
208
00:09:01,248 --> 00:09:02,483
Mm.
209
00:09:02,551 --> 00:09:05,857
(gasps)
Can I get it? Can I get it?
210
00:09:06,759 --> 00:09:08,997
(squeals excitedly)
211
00:09:11,335 --> 00:09:14,441
Hmm. I'm not sure that's a fit.
212
00:09:15,242 --> 00:09:18,115
Are you positive
that's the eight‐year‐old size?
213
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:19,919
Oh, super pos.
214
00:09:19,986 --> 00:09:22,056
Let's upsize her to a ten short.
215
00:09:22,123 --> 00:09:23,793
‐(static)
‐Get me some tens out here, Derek.
216
00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:26,331
The eights are a freaking
disaster on this kid!
217
00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:28,970
Forget it, Mom. Let's just go.
218
00:09:29,037 --> 00:09:30,239
Nuh‐uh.
219
00:09:30,306 --> 00:09:31,676
We're not leaving this mall
220
00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:35,116
until we find you
a really fun ensemble.
221
00:09:35,182 --> 00:09:37,086
(Lisa groans)
222
00:09:37,153 --> 00:09:38,823
That is so the look.
223
00:09:38,890 --> 00:09:41,194
Yes, I think that is the look.
224
00:09:41,261 --> 00:09:43,566
Mom, it's too big!
225
00:09:43,633 --> 00:09:45,136
No, it's not.
226
00:09:45,202 --> 00:09:47,808
It's very flattering.
227
00:09:54,387 --> 00:09:56,158
It's not your job
228
00:09:56,224 --> 00:09:59,665
to constantly comment
on my appearance!
229
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:02,437
But, honey, I could never
pull that off.
230
00:10:02,504 --> 00:10:04,975
On you, it's so eye‐catching.
231
00:10:05,042 --> 00:10:07,548
Oh, you are slaying those tens.
232
00:10:07,614 --> 00:10:10,319
Do you really think I want
to call attention to myself?!
233
00:10:10,386 --> 00:10:12,323
Ugh! Get this thing off of me!
234
00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:13,860
(Lisa muttering)
235
00:10:13,927 --> 00:10:16,899
Okay, why don't you give these
a try?
236
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,770
LISA:
No!
237
00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:20,841
(Lisa grunting)
238
00:10:20,907 --> 00:10:24,180
Um, let's take
a little fro‐yo break.
239
00:10:24,247 --> 00:10:26,919
You can't fix everything
with fro‐yo!
240
00:10:26,986 --> 00:10:30,426
(laughs)
That's what you acted like before the medicine.
241
00:10:30,493 --> 00:10:33,900
Young lady, in this family, we
put clothing back on the hanger
242
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,338
so the salesperson will think
we're classy!
243
00:10:36,404 --> 00:10:38,576
Why are you acting
like such a cranky pants?
244
00:10:38,643 --> 00:10:40,881
Stop talking
to me about clothes!
245
00:10:40,947 --> 00:10:43,586
How's everything going in here?
I brought twelves.
246
00:10:43,653 --> 00:10:45,657
Do we need more twelves in here?
247
00:10:45,724 --> 00:10:49,899
This mall is an assault
on human dignity!
248
00:10:49,965 --> 00:10:53,138
I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!
I hate it! I hate it!
249
00:10:53,205 --> 00:10:56,444
‐(shouting gibberish)
‐(Marge groaning)
250
00:10:58,015 --> 00:10:59,952
If they ask
who helped you today,
251
00:11:00,019 --> 00:11:02,925
remember, I'm Shauna.
252
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,564
They don't respect you
253
00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:08,402
unless you insult them
just a little bit.
254
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,574
‐Girls?
‐Cops.
255
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,276
‐For real.
‐Yeah. Def. Yeah.
256
00:11:12,343 --> 00:11:15,984
Oh, look who got a visit
from the pube fairy.
257
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,988
Dude, those aren't pubes.
258
00:11:18,055 --> 00:11:21,261
Yeah‐huh.
Everything new is a pube.
259
00:11:21,328 --> 00:11:24,467
So, Simpson, you got your eyes
on any ladies?
260
00:11:24,535 --> 00:11:27,674
Uh, yeah, I'm talking to
a couple dozen honeys right now.
261
00:11:27,741 --> 00:11:29,244
I'm in love with most of 'em,
262
00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:32,283
but right now, I want
to keep my focus on the gym.
263
00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:35,356
‐(timer dings)
‐Pizza rolls are hot!
264
00:11:35,422 --> 00:11:37,059
Uh, what about our reps?
265
00:11:37,126 --> 00:11:38,763
There's plenty of time
for that...
266
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:40,533
after a weight fight!
267
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,005
(grunting, laughing)
268
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,744
(grunting continues)
269
00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:48,482
Working out is awesome!
270
00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:54,929
We don't slam doors
in this house! (groans)
271
00:11:54,995 --> 00:11:57,199
(rhythmic grunting)
272
00:11:57,266 --> 00:11:58,770
(Homer whimpers)
273
00:11:58,836 --> 00:12:01,575
So, uh, how was the mall?
274
00:12:01,642 --> 00:12:05,917
Apparently, I'm the worst mother
in the world for being nice.
275
00:12:05,984 --> 00:12:09,825
Lisa had a huge tantrum in
front of the cell phone jewelry.
276
00:12:09,892 --> 00:12:12,296
I've asked her a hundred times
what the problem is,
277
00:12:12,363 --> 00:12:13,900
and she won't tell me.
278
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,670
Can you talk to her?
279
00:12:15,737 --> 00:12:17,006
Of course, honey.
280
00:12:17,073 --> 00:12:20,346
Time for me to earn
my "World's Greatest Dad" mug.
281
00:12:20,412 --> 00:12:23,085
You bought that for yourself
in the hospital gift shop
282
00:12:23,151 --> 00:12:24,788
while I was giving birth.
283
00:12:24,855 --> 00:12:28,495
We both left with something
special that day.
284
00:12:29,497 --> 00:12:30,499
(Homer moans softly)
285
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:31,635
Honey,
286
00:12:31,702 --> 00:12:32,838
if something's bothering you,
287
00:12:32,904 --> 00:12:33,840
you got to let it out.
288
00:12:33,906 --> 00:12:35,510
Like swallowed burps,
289
00:12:35,577 --> 00:12:38,482
buried feelings can burst out
at the worst possible...
290
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:39,952
(burps)
291
00:12:40,019 --> 00:12:41,956
Mom called me "chunky."
292
00:12:43,526 --> 00:12:45,262
HOMER:
Oh, my God.
293
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:48,803
Marge did the one thing no
parent is ever supposed to do‐‐
294
00:12:48,870 --> 00:12:51,241
acknowledge what their children look like!
295
00:12:51,307 --> 00:12:53,445
Oh, what do I say
to make it better?
296
00:12:53,513 --> 00:12:56,184
I know. I'll tell her
Marge isn't her real mother,
297
00:12:56,251 --> 00:12:58,355
and Lisa and I should pack up
and leave forever.
298
00:12:58,422 --> 00:13:01,194
No, something
about that feels wrong.
299
00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:04,133
Hmm, I must use
an entire lifetime
300
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,839
of fatherly knowledge
to help my daughter.
301
00:13:06,906 --> 00:13:08,810
(clears throat)
302
00:13:08,876 --> 00:13:12,149
Buying versus leasing‐‐
pros and cons.
303
00:13:12,216 --> 00:13:14,988
How many miles do you think
you'll be driving a year?
304
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,357
Thanks for trying, Dad.
305
00:13:16,424 --> 00:13:18,696
That is what
you were doing, right?
306
00:13:18,763 --> 00:13:20,065
Yes.
307
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:22,336
I can't expect you
to understand my problem.
308
00:13:22,403 --> 00:13:26,377
I just wish I didn't care
what people think.
309
00:13:26,444 --> 00:13:29,217
Honey, if you didn't care,
you wouldn't be human.
310
00:13:29,283 --> 00:13:33,659
(gasps)
Not human, I say.
311
00:13:33,726 --> 00:13:35,462
Here we are.
312
00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:38,168
When you called for help,
I was hoping you needed someone
313
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:40,840
to spell‐check
your suicide note.
314
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,078
And just so we're clear,
you dented cue ball,
315
00:13:43,145 --> 00:13:44,882
we're not doing this for you.
316
00:13:44,948 --> 00:13:47,119
We're here for Lisa.
317
00:13:47,186 --> 00:13:50,125
Hey, look who stopped by!
318
00:13:50,192 --> 00:13:53,733
How would you like to go on
a completely spontaneous outing
319
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:55,369
with your aunts?
320
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:58,809
‐Uh...
‐In our world, that's a "yes."
321
00:13:58,876 --> 00:14:01,347
We heard what your mother said.
Not cool.
322
00:14:01,414 --> 00:14:05,322
We only use "chunky"
to describe jewelry and stew.
323
00:14:05,389 --> 00:14:09,297
And since we've had stew
for breakfast...
324
00:14:09,363 --> 00:14:10,567
(gasps)
325
00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:13,839
Kid, your Aunt Selma and I have
been called every mean name
326
00:14:13,906 --> 00:14:15,242
in the book.
327
00:14:15,309 --> 00:14:18,281
You just got
to let it roll off your back.
328
00:14:18,348 --> 00:14:19,718
But how?
329
00:14:19,785 --> 00:14:21,589
♪ When the world ♪
330
00:14:21,655 --> 00:14:24,528
♪ Hurts your feelings ♪
331
00:14:24,595 --> 00:14:29,303
♪ And on certain words
you tend to dwell ♪
332
00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:34,280
♪ Then live life
like your aunties ♪
333
00:14:34,347 --> 00:14:37,654
♪ And tell the jerks
to go to hell ♪
334
00:14:37,721 --> 00:14:42,263
♪ This is the dawning of
the age of who gives a crap ♪
335
00:14:42,329 --> 00:14:45,369
♪ The age of who gives a crap ♪
336
00:14:45,435 --> 00:14:47,039
(all groaning)
337
00:14:47,106 --> 00:14:51,915
‐♪ Who gives a crap ♪
‐(neighs)
338
00:14:51,982 --> 00:14:56,491
♪ Who gives a crap... ♪
339
00:14:56,558 --> 00:14:59,297
♪ Muffin tops,
jowls and crow's feet ♪
340
00:14:59,363 --> 00:15:02,002
♪ Droopy boobs
and no thigh gap ♪
341
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:03,973
♪ Chicken skin and body odor ♪
342
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,377
♪ Chin hairs
that need some trimmin' ♪
343
00:15:06,444 --> 00:15:08,516
♪ All these things
that's wrong with women ♪
344
00:15:08,582 --> 00:15:11,855
♪ It's all good,
just go on livin' ♪
345
00:15:11,922 --> 00:15:16,732
♪ Who gives a crap... ♪
346
00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:21,709
♪ Who gives a crap? ♪
347
00:15:21,775 --> 00:15:23,979
(people groaning)
348
00:15:24,046 --> 00:15:26,150
(humming "Let the Sunshine In")
349
00:15:28,923 --> 00:15:32,196
Lisa, your dad told me
why you've been upset.
350
00:15:32,262 --> 00:15:35,335
I'm so sorry for what I said.
351
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:38,809
It was a mistake,
and I feel terrible.
352
00:15:38,876 --> 00:15:40,613
Thanks, Mom,
but spending the afternoon
353
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,552
with Aunt Patty and Selma
made me feel a lot better
354
00:15:43,619 --> 00:15:45,055
about myself.
355
00:15:45,122 --> 00:15:48,027
And also, a lot worse
about everyone else.
356
00:15:48,094 --> 00:15:51,134
Mm. Why couldn't I just
keep my mouth shut?
357
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,073
After all, now
that you're off the steroids,
358
00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:56,144
soon you'll be back to normal.
359
00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:58,916
And you'll be my perfect
little girl again.
360
00:15:58,983 --> 00:16:01,254
So, we all better now?
361
00:16:08,936 --> 00:16:12,577
(screaming)
362
00:16:17,219 --> 00:16:18,889
Ooh, how about this one?
363
00:16:18,956 --> 00:16:20,560
It has a lot of notes.
364
00:16:20,626 --> 00:16:22,129
I know you like those.
365
00:16:22,196 --> 00:16:24,233
Don't pretend
you know what I like.
366
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:27,574
Oh, can you just tell me
why we're back to glowering?!
367
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,477
‐Huh?
‐Marge,
368
00:16:29,544 --> 00:16:32,416
I know all about the rough patch
you're having with Lisa.
369
00:16:32,483 --> 00:16:35,756
I went through the exact same
thing with Milhouse. (laughs)
370
00:16:35,823 --> 00:16:37,727
We're so similar, you and I.
371
00:16:37,794 --> 00:16:39,063
Are we, though?
372
00:16:39,129 --> 00:16:41,969
Look, I don't just give
this name to everybody.
373
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:44,941
Just my best girlfriends.
374
00:16:45,008 --> 00:16:46,578
MARGE:
Hmm.
375
00:16:46,645 --> 00:16:48,081
Hypnotherapy?
376
00:16:48,147 --> 00:16:50,620
Isn't that a little... woo‐woo?
377
00:16:50,686 --> 00:16:52,590
Dr. Sage is amazing.
378
00:16:52,657 --> 00:16:55,930
We went in not speaking,
and after one session,
379
00:16:55,997 --> 00:16:59,003
‐we're back in the tub together!
‐Mm.
380
00:16:59,069 --> 00:17:01,240
‐(Lisa blowing notes)
‐(gasps)
381
00:17:02,944 --> 00:17:04,614
(sighs):
Oh.
382
00:17:05,783 --> 00:17:07,219
What's up, workout bros?
383
00:17:07,286 --> 00:17:10,860
Who wants toaster strudel?
Extra glaze packets!
384
00:17:10,927 --> 00:17:13,131
‐Hmm?
‐(giggling)
385
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,538
(gasps)
Guys, look out! There's girls in here.
386
00:17:16,605 --> 00:17:19,176
They're called girlfriends,
baby dork.
387
00:17:19,243 --> 00:17:21,848
Well, Jimbo and Flor
haven't made it official,
388
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:23,719
but we're all hopeful.
389
00:17:23,786 --> 00:17:25,221
BOTH:
We don't do labels!
390
00:17:25,288 --> 00:17:27,292
But‐but I thought
we came here to work out
391
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,198
and‐and microwave golf balls
and talk about girls,
392
00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:31,535
but not real ones!
393
00:17:31,602 --> 00:17:35,108
(crying)
I thought we were big boys!
394
00:17:35,175 --> 00:17:37,814
(all moaning, laughing)
395
00:17:40,452 --> 00:17:42,757
♪ ♪
396
00:17:45,596 --> 00:17:48,902
BART:
So dawn bros down to day.
397
00:17:48,969 --> 00:17:52,376
Nothing swole can stay.
398
00:18:00,258 --> 00:18:03,799
Marge, Lisa, today,
we'll be using hypnotherapy
399
00:18:03,866 --> 00:18:05,703
as a tool that builds empathy
400
00:18:05,770 --> 00:18:09,678
by exploring the landscapes
of each other's minds.
401
00:18:09,744 --> 00:18:12,315
I'm sorry. I just find it
a little hard to believe
402
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,453
that everything's going
to be solved just because
403
00:18:14,521 --> 00:18:17,292
you swing a gold pocket watch
in front of my face.
404
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:19,998
(laughs) Oh, hypnotism
has come a long way
405
00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:21,535
since pocket watches.
406
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:25,876
Now, look into Dr. Mysterio's
Mesmerific Hypnowheel.
407
00:18:26,845 --> 00:18:29,918
♪ ♪
408
00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:32,657
BOTH:
Spinny thing.
409
00:18:35,228 --> 00:18:36,965
Where are we?
410
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,736
We're in my mind,
411
00:18:38,802 --> 00:18:42,375
and I thought this woman was
a total quack. (laughs)
412
00:18:42,442 --> 00:18:44,814
DR. SAGE:
I can hear everything you're saying.
413
00:18:44,881 --> 00:18:46,117
Sorry.
414
00:18:46,183 --> 00:18:47,787
It's so nice here.
415
00:18:47,854 --> 00:18:50,425
I feel like
I should take my shoes off.
416
00:18:50,492 --> 00:18:53,966
There's a Zen garden,
a waterfall.
417
00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:55,569
(screams)
418
00:18:55,636 --> 00:18:56,972
Chunky!
419
00:18:57,038 --> 00:18:59,544
And it's taking up
so much space!
420
00:18:59,611 --> 00:19:02,517
Look what it's done
to the Powerpuff Girls.
421
00:19:02,583 --> 00:19:04,554
(whimpering)
422
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:07,225
What if I never get "Chunky"
out of my head?
423
00:19:07,292 --> 00:19:09,798
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
424
00:19:09,864 --> 00:19:13,004
If I put it there,
then I'm going to get it out.
425
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:16,310
(grunting)
426
00:19:17,078 --> 00:19:18,749
(moans)
Oh.
427
00:19:18,816 --> 00:19:22,723
I never realized
how much power my words have.
428
00:19:22,790 --> 00:19:25,663
Now that you've explored
Lisa's subconscious,
429
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:28,735
perhaps we should travel
to Marge's.
430
00:19:28,802 --> 00:19:30,840
I have one of those?
431
00:19:30,906 --> 00:19:32,844
My old bedroom.
432
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:35,348
This must be one of my memories.
433
00:19:36,183 --> 00:19:39,122
Mom, what do you think
of my new haircut?
434
00:19:39,189 --> 00:19:40,693
It's nice, but I do think
435
00:19:40,759 --> 00:19:44,534
longer hair complements
your plain features.
436
00:19:47,239 --> 00:19:49,677
"Plain." Oh, my God.
437
00:19:49,744 --> 00:19:53,284
I don't remember her saying
that, but now I know why
438
00:19:53,351 --> 00:19:56,290
it's been in my head
every waking minute.
439
00:19:56,357 --> 00:19:57,860
(cries, sniffles)
440
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:04,641
Oh, Lisa, now I know
exactly how I made you feel.
441
00:20:04,707 --> 00:20:07,847
Now I know exactly how you felt.
442
00:20:07,914 --> 00:20:09,951
BOTH:
I love you!
443
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:17,065
I love both of you!
444
00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:18,502
I guess the hurtful things
445
00:20:18,568 --> 00:20:21,875
your mother says to you
never totally disappear.
446
00:20:21,942 --> 00:20:24,614
Maybe they don't,
but I really believe
447
00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:26,551
that if you're aware of them,
448
00:20:26,618 --> 00:20:30,124
those words will lose
their power over you...
449
00:20:30,191 --> 00:20:35,368
very, very, very slowly.
450
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,871
If at all.
451
00:20:36,938 --> 00:20:39,076
But probably not.
452
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,636
I wonder if everyone has words
453
00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:54,941
from their childhood stuck
inside their heads.
454
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:12,810
(snoring)
Ah, lazy.
455
00:21:29,944 --> 00:21:31,581
Shh!
456
00:21:31,631 --> 00:21:36,181
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