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1
00:00:50,062 --> 00:00:52,298
* Well, I wake up
in the mornin' *
2
00:00:52,364 --> 00:00:55,101
* Each and every day *
3
00:00:55,167 --> 00:00:59,906
* And I sit down at the table
and I hear my daddy say *
4
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:02,341
* Life is nothin'
It's a nothin' *
5
00:01:02,408 --> 00:01:04,977
* Life is nothin'
but a slap in the face *
6
00:01:05,044 --> 00:01:07,546
* Life is nothin'
It's a nothin' *
7
00:01:07,614 --> 00:01:10,116
* Life is nothin'
but a fat rat race *
8
00:01:10,182 --> 00:01:14,654
* Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah *
9
00:01:14,721 --> 00:01:17,323
* Oh, yeah, yeah *
10
00:01:17,389 --> 00:01:20,359
* Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah *
11
00:01:20,426 --> 00:01:22,261
* Every night I have a dream *
12
00:01:22,328 --> 00:01:25,264
* That you're takin'
off your dress *
13
00:01:25,331 --> 00:01:29,969
* The only thing you're wearin'
is a button on your chest *
14
00:01:30,036 --> 00:01:32,371
* And the button
it says nothin' *
15
00:01:32,438 --> 00:01:35,074
* Life is nothin'
but a slap in the face *
16
00:01:35,141 --> 00:01:37,610
* Life is nothin'
It's a nothin' *
17
00:01:37,677 --> 00:01:40,146
* Life is nothin'
but a fat rat race *
18
00:01:40,212 --> 00:01:44,784
* What is life *
19
00:01:44,851 --> 00:01:47,519
* What is life *
20
00:01:47,586 --> 00:01:50,089
* A rat race, a rat race *
21
00:01:50,156 --> 00:01:54,761
* What is life *
22
00:01:54,827 --> 00:01:57,596
* What is life *
23
00:01:57,664 --> 00:02:00,066
* A rat race, a rat race *
24
00:02:00,132 --> 00:02:02,902
* A rat race, a rat-rat race *
25
00:02:02,969 --> 00:02:07,306
* Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah *
26
00:02:07,373 --> 00:02:10,309
* Oh, yeah, yeah *
27
00:02:10,376 --> 00:02:13,646
* It's a jungle out there
and I know I don't belong *
28
00:02:15,281 --> 00:02:18,751
* So all night long
I just sing my stupid song *
29
00:02:20,452 --> 00:02:22,855
* Get a body out
in the rat, in the race *
30
00:02:22,922 --> 00:02:25,391
* Get a body out
in the rat, in the race *
31
00:02:25,457 --> 00:02:27,827
* Get a body out in the rat *
32
00:02:27,894 --> 00:02:31,931
**
33
00:02:31,998 --> 00:02:35,601
* To the sound of the storm
comin' strictly from
the B-A-H-A M-E-N *
34
00:02:35,668 --> 00:02:39,772
* Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah *
35
00:02:39,839 --> 00:02:42,241
* Oh, yeah, yeah *
36
00:02:42,308 --> 00:02:45,712
* Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah *
37
00:02:45,778 --> 00:02:47,914
**
38
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:50,449
* Life ain't nothin'
but a big rat race *
39
00:02:50,516 --> 00:02:52,885
**
40
00:02:52,952 --> 00:02:55,087
* Life ain't nothin'
but a big rat race *
41
00:02:55,154 --> 00:02:57,356
* Life is nothin'
It's a nothin' *
42
00:02:57,423 --> 00:03:00,026
* Life is nothin'
but a slap in the face *
43
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:02,361
* Life is nothin'
It's a nothin' *
44
00:03:02,428 --> 00:03:04,997
* Life is nothin'
but a fat rat race *
45
00:03:05,064 --> 00:03:09,802
* Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah *
46
00:03:09,869 --> 00:03:12,238
* Oh, yeah, yeah *
47
00:03:12,304 --> 00:03:16,008
* Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah **
48
00:03:16,075 --> 00:03:20,179
Hi. I'm checking out.
14322.
49
00:03:20,246 --> 00:03:22,681
Mr. Schaffer?
50
00:03:22,749 --> 00:03:25,251
That's me.
51
00:03:25,317 --> 00:03:28,354
I have your bill right here.
Great. Thank you.
52
00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:32,892
How was your luck last night?
I don't...
I didn't gamble.
53
00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:37,029
I was just here for
a friend's bachelor party.
I guess he's the gambler.
54
00:03:37,096 --> 00:03:39,465
Uh...
55
00:03:39,531 --> 00:03:43,135
What's this $110?
56
00:03:43,202 --> 00:03:47,606
Those are your
in-room movies.
I didn't watch any movies.
57
00:03:47,673 --> 00:03:51,543
Okay, let's see.
Afro Whores.
58
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:53,813
Afro Whores?
59
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:57,216
You watched it... let's see...
Uh, 11 times.
60
00:03:57,283 --> 00:03:59,285
No. No, no...
61
00:03:59,351 --> 00:04:04,156
Afro Whores, 2:30.
Afro Whores, 4:00.
Afro Whores, 5:30.
62
00:04:04,223 --> 00:04:07,693
It says in the morning
you watched The Grinch
for ten minutes...
63
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,561
and then switched back
over to Afro Whores.
64
00:04:09,628 --> 00:04:12,799
I swear I didn't watch it.
I was at a bachelor party.
65
00:04:12,865 --> 00:04:15,101
There were 35 people there.
You can ask any of them.
66
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:18,004
You have to take that
off my record.
This is not a record, sir.
67
00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:22,508
It's a delete.
Okay, fine. How many times
did you watch it?
68
00:04:22,574 --> 00:04:25,411
None! I didn't watch it.
69
00:04:25,477 --> 00:04:29,581
Are you sure?
"Sizzling, three-way,
backdoor action,
70
00:04:29,648 --> 00:04:32,018
featuring
two sexy soul sisters..."
71
00:04:32,084 --> 00:04:34,887
I don't need to know
what it's about.
I did not watch it.
72
00:04:36,422 --> 00:04:39,625
I didn't.
73
00:04:39,691 --> 00:04:44,230
Drove 500,
and Chipper Jones struck out
in that key situation.
74
00:04:44,296 --> 00:04:48,234
He's 0 for 5,
lost three straight games.
75
00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:52,538
This month he has
a one-game winning streak.
76
00:04:55,241 --> 00:05:00,146
Miss? Miss, can I have
another one of these, please?
77
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:04,250
Oh, sorry.
I thought you were a woman.
78
00:05:04,316 --> 00:05:06,418
I am a woman.
79
00:05:08,287 --> 00:05:10,656
You know, you look
kind of familiar.
80
00:05:10,722 --> 00:05:13,225
Yeah, you do.
81
00:05:13,292 --> 00:05:16,328
You know, I get that
all the time.
82
00:05:16,395 --> 00:05:18,797
I guess I just have
one of those faces.
83
00:05:18,865 --> 00:05:22,601
And now for our
loser of the week.
This week it's a no-brainer.
84
00:05:22,668 --> 00:05:27,106
Referee Owen Templeton
made the biggest bonehead call
in the history of football.
85
00:05:27,173 --> 00:05:31,543
I think everyone remembers. It
happened last Sunday at Dallas
with the score tied at 10.
86
00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:33,980
They were headed towards
overtime. Everything was cool.
87
00:05:34,046 --> 00:05:36,091
They were about to toss the coin
to see who would kick off.
88
00:05:36,115 --> 00:05:39,718
Dallas, call it in the air.
Tails.
89
00:05:39,785 --> 00:05:42,321
That's heads.
That was tails.
90
00:05:42,388 --> 00:05:44,523
No, no, no.
It's, uh...
That was tails.
91
00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:47,927
No... Wait! Hang on!
It's, uh... Now,
what did I say?
92
00:05:47,994 --> 00:05:49,996
Tails!
It's tails.
93
00:05:50,062 --> 00:05:53,065
It's heads.
What are you doin'?
94
00:05:55,134 --> 00:05:57,937
You saw...
95
00:05:58,004 --> 00:06:00,706
Okay, little brother,
just be cool.
96
00:06:00,772 --> 00:06:02,841
Just be cool.
97
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:19,691
Okay, this is it.
See that glass?
98
00:06:19,758 --> 00:06:23,329
Walk across the lobby,
slip on the glass,
let gravity do the rest.
99
00:06:23,395 --> 00:06:26,365
I might "eak" my neck.
100
00:06:26,432 --> 00:06:30,369
It's true.
You could break your neck.
It's a risk I'm willing to take.
101
00:06:30,436 --> 00:06:33,405
Why don't "oo" do it?
102
00:06:33,472 --> 00:06:36,442
Because, Einstein, one of us
needs to be the victim,
103
00:06:36,508 --> 00:06:39,378
and one of us needs
to be the witness.
104
00:06:39,445 --> 00:06:42,958
What kind of witness would you
make? I'm your own brother.
I don't know what you're sayin'.
105
00:06:42,982 --> 00:06:45,117
How's your tongue?
Let me see it.
106
00:06:48,654 --> 00:06:49,956
How's it look?
107
00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:55,827
It looks good.
It looks much better.
108
00:06:55,894 --> 00:06:58,230
Okay, here we go.
109
00:06:58,297 --> 00:07:02,601
- Uh...
- We're on Candid Camera,
so make it look good.
110
00:07:11,677 --> 00:07:16,348
Excuse me. I'm a lawyer.
Gloria Allred.
111
00:07:16,415 --> 00:07:19,085
What the hell happened here?
She slipped
on that glass.
112
00:07:19,151 --> 00:07:23,522
Those arrogant jerks. They're
gonna pay for this. They're
gonna pay through the nose.
113
00:07:23,589 --> 00:07:26,225
How's your neck? I've never
seen such negligence.
114
00:07:26,292 --> 00:07:28,394
This is going to be huge.
115
00:07:28,460 --> 00:07:30,329
She's an angel.
116
00:07:30,396 --> 00:07:33,932
What a cute little face.
Would you look at those cheeks?
117
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,735
She's absolutely beautiful.
She has your eyes.
118
00:07:36,802 --> 00:07:40,839
It's the only picture I have
of her. It's all worn out
'cause I'm always looking at it.
119
00:07:40,906 --> 00:07:44,743
And you haven't seen her
for 27 years?
Not till today.
120
00:07:44,810 --> 00:07:47,913
She just called you
out of the blue?
No, I found her.
121
00:07:47,980 --> 00:07:52,684
I hired a detective.
I spent all my money,
and now we're going to meet.
122
00:07:52,751 --> 00:07:55,821
You think she'll recognize me?
Of course she will, won't she?
123
00:07:55,887 --> 00:07:57,956
Yeah.
She will.
124
00:08:18,777 --> 00:08:20,646
Vera Baker.
125
00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:23,815
My baby...
126
00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:27,386
Oh. Uh...
127
00:08:27,453 --> 00:08:31,157
- Excuse me.
- I have to take this.
128
00:08:31,223 --> 00:08:33,259
This is Merrill.
129
00:08:35,461 --> 00:08:37,763
No! That's unacceptable!
130
00:08:37,829 --> 00:08:41,567
Listen, tell Warren if we don't
ship by Tuesday, we won't be
in the stores by Mother's Day.
131
00:08:41,633 --> 00:08:44,503
That's unacceptable,
so don't give me
any excuses, and do it!
132
00:08:44,570 --> 00:08:47,473
Do it!
Just shut up and get it done!
133
00:08:50,109 --> 00:08:53,412
Oh, honey,
you broke your phone.
134
00:08:53,479 --> 00:08:57,749
It's okay.
I carry extras.
135
00:08:57,816 --> 00:09:01,287
Oh. Why don't we sit down?
136
00:09:01,353 --> 00:09:03,322
Yes.
137
00:09:11,397 --> 00:09:14,700
You probably have
a thousand questions for me.
138
00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:16,135
No.
139
00:09:16,202 --> 00:09:19,738
I was young.
I didn't tell anybody
I was pregnant.
140
00:09:19,805 --> 00:09:23,342
- And I felt I could handle it
at the time.
141
00:09:23,409 --> 00:09:28,414
Hi. Do you think you gals
could pull yourselves together
and bring us a drink?
142
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:32,651
Oh. Sure.
Yeah. Sure.
What would you like?
143
00:09:32,718 --> 00:09:34,920
Mimosa.
144
00:09:34,986 --> 00:09:38,924
They both want a mimosa.
145
00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:42,628
So, you sell cosmetics?
146
00:09:42,694 --> 00:09:46,365
Yeah.
I have my own company.
Oh!
147
00:09:46,432 --> 00:09:49,335
And we're going public.
148
00:09:49,401 --> 00:09:52,504
And you're not married?
149
00:09:52,571 --> 00:09:56,074
Lucianne said you wouldn't.
Who?
150
00:09:56,142 --> 00:09:59,311
Lucianne. She's my psychic.
She's the one who told me
to come look for you.
151
00:09:59,378 --> 00:10:01,380
She said you needed me.
152
00:10:01,447 --> 00:10:05,117
She did?
She said you were lonely...
153
00:10:05,184 --> 00:10:10,756
and that you were worried
about money and that
you had trouble sleeping.
154
00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:17,129
Who the hell isn't?
155
00:10:22,501 --> 00:10:25,103
See? I told
you we didn't
need a bellman.
156
00:10:25,171 --> 00:10:29,040
Yeah, well,
congratulations, Randy.
You avoided another tip.
157
00:10:29,107 --> 00:10:31,177
Those nickels and dimes
add up, my dear.
158
00:10:31,243 --> 00:10:33,279
- I call this bed!
- Hey, no fair.
159
00:10:33,345 --> 00:10:35,514
You got to pick
last night.
Go to hell, Jason.
160
00:10:35,581 --> 00:10:37,483
Make me.
Hey, language, please.
161
00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:39,851
Bev, his and her
bathrobes.
Yes.
162
00:10:39,918 --> 00:10:41,753
Look at that view.
Yeah.
163
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:46,725
Nice view.
Okay, honey.
Why don't you unpack?
164
00:10:46,792 --> 00:10:49,561
Okay.
I'm just gonna
go look around.
165
00:10:49,628 --> 00:10:53,332
Wait, wait, wait.
You're not going to the casino?
166
00:10:53,399 --> 00:10:56,835
No, no, of course not.
167
00:10:56,902 --> 00:11:00,806
I just drove
from the Grand Canyon.
Gotta stretch my legs.
168
00:11:00,872 --> 00:11:04,410
You swore to me on your
mother's eyes we are here
to see David Copperfield.
169
00:11:04,476 --> 00:11:08,113
No gambling.
No gambling.
I'm just lookin' around.
170
00:11:08,180 --> 00:11:12,551
In fact, I'm gonna go
to the gift shop.
171
00:11:12,618 --> 00:11:14,653
I can jump farther than you.
172
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,223
I can jump farther.
No way. Watch.
173
00:11:17,289 --> 00:11:19,725
Ooh.
174
00:11:19,791 --> 00:11:23,462
That's gotta hurt.
Honey, kids need ya.
175
00:11:23,529 --> 00:11:25,831
Hey, Nick. Nicky!
Hey.
176
00:11:25,897 --> 00:11:28,200
You're not leaving?
I'm in court on Tuesday.
177
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:31,803
No, you're not.
I work for people who are
in court on Tuesday.
178
00:11:31,870 --> 00:11:34,640
You pussy.
You can't leave.
It's still goin' on up there.
179
00:11:34,706 --> 00:11:37,075
Richie, I have to.
I've had two hours sleep.
180
00:11:37,142 --> 00:11:40,178
Steve Cunningham
just got another stripper.
You got to see this one.
181
00:11:40,246 --> 00:11:42,180
She's incredible.
I got to get back.
182
00:11:42,248 --> 00:11:45,417
No, you don't, Nick.
I know you. You're scared.
183
00:11:45,484 --> 00:11:48,320
You're scared it's gonna
get out of control up there.
184
00:11:48,387 --> 00:11:50,898
Someday you'll be up for
attorney general and it'll
come back to haunt you.
185
00:11:50,922 --> 00:11:54,125
I'm not having
this conversation.
You didn't even gamble.
186
00:11:54,192 --> 00:11:56,462
Not one quarter.
That's no way to live.
187
00:11:56,528 --> 00:11:59,531
In fact,
that ain't even livin'.
It's hiding.
188
00:11:59,598 --> 00:12:02,268
I'm not hiding
from anything.
Oh, no?
189
00:12:02,334 --> 00:12:04,803
Okay, then prove it.
190
00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:07,673
Do something, anything.
Break one rule.
191
00:12:07,739 --> 00:12:12,644
Here. Look. Nick, a paper.
Come on. Take it.
192
00:12:12,711 --> 00:12:16,515
Take it. Come on, Nick.
Take it.
193
00:12:16,582 --> 00:12:18,183
Aha.
194
00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:22,888
I have a plane
to catch, okay?
195
00:12:22,954 --> 00:12:25,524
I'll see you in Chicago.
196
00:12:27,225 --> 00:12:29,695
Oh, look, I won!
I won!
197
00:12:29,761 --> 00:12:31,863
Look at the money
comin' down.
198
00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:35,233
Oh, look. Look, look, look.
What's... What's...
199
00:12:35,301 --> 00:12:39,405
"You're a winner.
See guest services."
200
00:12:41,039 --> 00:12:43,775
What? A dollar?
201
00:12:43,842 --> 00:12:45,711
Ooh!
202
00:12:47,946 --> 00:12:49,981
Come on, baby.
Come on!
**
203
00:12:50,048 --> 00:12:52,551
Ya-hoo!
204
00:13:00,659 --> 00:13:02,761
**
205
00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:07,466
Come on.
206
00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:10,268
- **
- We won!
207
00:13:12,471 --> 00:13:17,609
We won one.
What is this?
This isn't money.
208
00:13:28,253 --> 00:13:30,055
**
209
00:13:35,827 --> 00:13:38,196
That's the prize?
A free buffet?
210
00:13:38,263 --> 00:13:40,265
Actually, it's not a buffet.
211
00:13:40,332 --> 00:13:44,102
It's a special reception
at 10:00 in the penthouse
conference room.
212
00:13:44,169 --> 00:13:46,672
- Oh!
- "Where a spectacular..."
213
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:49,941
once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity awaits you."
214
00:13:50,008 --> 00:13:51,877
That's all I know.
215
00:13:51,943 --> 00:13:54,680
What do you think?
I think it's
some kind of scam.
216
00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:57,416
Oh, good! A scam!
We'll do it.
217
00:13:57,483 --> 00:14:00,486
- I'll need to see some I.D.
- Okay.
218
00:14:12,097 --> 00:14:15,701
- There. I gambled.
- **
219
00:14:22,307 --> 00:14:26,277
Family vacation, huh?
These are the moments
you got to savor, right?
220
00:14:26,344 --> 00:14:28,814
They'll never
come around again.
Exactly.
221
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,550
Excuse me.
Do you know what's going on?
222
00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:33,485
Free grub.
That's what's going on.
223
00:14:33,552 --> 00:14:36,087
This room is fabulous.
224
00:14:36,154 --> 00:14:39,491
Excuse me. Does anybody
know what we're doing here?
Beats me.
225
00:14:39,558 --> 00:14:42,494
Oh, my God.
226
00:14:42,561 --> 00:14:44,596
You should sue somebody.
227
00:14:44,663 --> 00:14:46,765
I did it myself.
228
00:14:46,832 --> 00:14:49,801
What?
He said he did it himself.
Sent away for a kit.
229
00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:55,073
I knew I recognized you.
You're the referee...
the bonehead.
230
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:58,744
Well, you know, that's
just the media blowing it
out of proportion.
231
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:03,081
My hairdresser's husband
lost $800 because of you.
232
00:15:03,148 --> 00:15:05,684
Everybody thinks
we flip quarters.
Can I have a picture with you?
233
00:15:05,751 --> 00:15:07,919
It's really
a commemorative coin.
Look.
234
00:15:07,986 --> 00:15:09,888
Smile.
Please. You...
235
00:15:11,857 --> 00:15:16,462
Am I too late-a?
Look. I won a coin.
236
00:15:16,528 --> 00:15:21,633
A gold coin.
Oh, isn't this w-wonderful?
237
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,969
Look at this r-room.
238
00:15:24,035 --> 00:15:29,240
What a beautiful room.
Have you seen this room?
239
00:15:29,307 --> 00:15:32,410
Yes! We're in it.
240
00:15:35,146 --> 00:15:37,683
I am Enrico Pollini.
241
00:15:37,749 --> 00:15:41,853
Now, I know what
you are thinking.
Enrico is a girl's name.
242
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,790
No, I wasn't.
No pun intended.
243
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:49,695
What pun is that?
Food. Look at all this food.
244
00:15:49,761 --> 00:15:55,233
What a beautiful party.
Little cockdoggies.
245
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:57,235
They're called
cocktail wienies.
246
00:15:57,302 --> 00:16:02,240
Wienies. Ah!
I'm so sorry. My English
is not so good.
247
00:16:02,307 --> 00:16:04,976
But I'm learning.
Mmm!
248
00:16:05,043 --> 00:16:07,513
That's it. Vera.
We're outta here.
Huh?
249
00:16:07,579 --> 00:16:10,057
I just want to say good-bye.
Good-bye, y'all.
Excuse me.
250
00:16:10,081 --> 00:16:15,020
Thank you all for coming.
I'm Donald Sinclair.
I own this hotel.
251
00:16:15,086 --> 00:16:17,188
We don't have much time.
252
00:16:17,255 --> 00:16:23,028
There's a meteor
the size of North Carolina
heading straight for Earth.
253
00:16:23,094 --> 00:16:28,333
The impact is going to kill
every thing and everyone
on this planet.
254
00:16:28,399 --> 00:16:33,204
I built a bunker in the basement
of this casino strong enough
to withstand the blast.
255
00:16:33,271 --> 00:16:37,609
There's room for eight people.
I have chosen the seven of you,
plus me.
256
00:16:37,676 --> 00:16:42,047
When this is over,
it'll be up to us to repopulate
and re-civilize the planet.
257
00:16:50,989 --> 00:16:55,426
I couldn't resist!
I'm sorry.
258
00:16:57,629 --> 00:17:01,567
A joke. He made a joke.
259
00:17:01,633 --> 00:17:04,970
Do sit down, please.
Merrill, you and your
mother can sit over here.
260
00:17:05,036 --> 00:17:07,005
How do you know
she's my mother?
261
00:17:07,072 --> 00:17:09,675
Alas, there are
no secrets anymore.
262
00:17:09,741 --> 00:17:14,179
Actually, that's not quite true.
There is one secret,
one last secret.
263
00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:18,684
It involves all of you.
264
00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:23,555
- I'm getting goose pimples.
- Hey...
265
00:17:23,622 --> 00:17:26,391
Ah, Mr. Schaffer!
266
00:17:26,457 --> 00:17:30,195
Curiosity got
the better of you, eh?
Come and sit down.
267
00:17:30,261 --> 00:17:34,165
I'm fine. Thanks.
You haven't missed anything.
268
00:17:34,232 --> 00:17:36,835
We were just
cutting to the chase.
269
00:17:36,902 --> 00:17:41,072
Cutting to the chase.
270
00:17:42,507 --> 00:17:44,542
Well, you'll laugh later.
271
00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:48,413
Now, as you know,
the odds against winning
a jackpot downstairs...
272
00:17:48,479 --> 00:17:51,850
or hitting the state lottery
are astronomical...
millions to one.
273
00:17:51,917 --> 00:17:55,621
A serious person doesn't
even bother, but today...
274
00:17:55,687 --> 00:17:59,024
you have the chance
of playing a game...
275
00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:02,060
where the odds of winning
are one in six.
276
00:18:02,127 --> 00:18:05,030
One in six.
277
00:18:05,096 --> 00:18:07,633
It's one throw...
278
00:18:10,101 --> 00:18:12,170
of the dice.
279
00:18:16,141 --> 00:18:18,610
Ah! This is my attorney,
Mr. Grisham,
280
00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:21,913
who tragically was born
without a personality.
281
00:18:21,980 --> 00:18:26,484
Mr. Grisham is insisting
that anyone who wishes to
participate in our experiment...
282
00:18:26,551 --> 00:18:31,522
should sign this waiver,
absolving the casino from
any responsibility or damages,
283
00:18:31,589 --> 00:18:35,426
personal liability,
blah, blah, blah.
284
00:18:35,493 --> 00:18:38,897
So, who do you like,
Claude?
285
00:18:38,964 --> 00:18:41,867
The young woman
in the black coat.
She looks desperate.
286
00:18:41,933 --> 00:18:44,903
Yes, but she has
her mother with her.
287
00:18:44,970 --> 00:18:48,273
That could slow
her down, hmm?
Perhaps.
288
00:18:48,339 --> 00:18:51,743
Now, 563 miles from here...
289
00:18:51,810 --> 00:18:54,813
is a little town called
Silver City, New Mexico.
290
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,115
Gold rush.
Quite right, Nick.
291
00:18:57,182 --> 00:18:59,517
Yes, they struck gold there
in 1860.
292
00:18:59,584 --> 00:19:02,320
It was the second largest
gold rush in American history.
293
00:19:02,387 --> 00:19:07,092
Very good, Nick. I think
Nick should be our captain.
294
00:19:08,493 --> 00:19:13,699
Uh, in downtown Silver City,
there's a train station.
295
00:19:13,765 --> 00:19:16,644
Can't miss it. As you go
in the front door, there's
some lockers on the right.
296
00:19:16,668 --> 00:19:18,904
Mr. Grisham,
do you have the keys?
297
00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:22,007
Six identical keys.
298
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:25,276
They all open the same locker.
299
00:19:25,343 --> 00:19:28,213
That's locker 001.
300
00:19:28,279 --> 00:19:32,050
Inside the locker
is a red duffel bag.
Inside the red duffel bag...
301
00:19:32,117 --> 00:19:34,285
is $2 million.
302
00:19:34,352 --> 00:19:39,090
In cash, fifties and hundreds,
makes a pile about so big.
303
00:19:39,157 --> 00:19:42,427
First one there
keeps it all.
304
00:19:42,493 --> 00:19:43,862
Ooh!
305
00:19:43,929 --> 00:19:48,666
I put transmitting
devices in your key rings
so I can keep track of you.
306
00:19:48,734 --> 00:19:51,937
And, uh, that's it.
307
00:19:52,003 --> 00:19:53,872
Go.
308
00:19:56,607 --> 00:19:58,910
You just can't pick people
at random.
309
00:19:58,977 --> 00:20:01,346
I can do anything I like,
Owen. I'm eccentric.
310
00:20:01,412 --> 00:20:03,882
Go!
311
00:20:03,949 --> 00:20:06,718
Wait, wait.
So, it's like a race?
312
00:20:06,785 --> 00:20:10,155
A race. It's a race.
313
00:20:10,221 --> 00:20:12,323
I hope I win.
314
00:20:12,390 --> 00:20:14,726
Um, what are the rules?
315
00:20:14,793 --> 00:20:18,496
There's only one rule.
Are you ready? Here it is.
316
00:20:18,563 --> 00:20:22,500
There are no rules.
317
00:20:22,567 --> 00:20:24,469
Go.
318
00:20:26,371 --> 00:20:27,906
Go!
319
00:20:27,973 --> 00:20:32,210
So now when you say, "Go,"
you mean just go?
320
00:20:32,277 --> 00:20:35,914
Uh, begin, commence,
uh, start moving.
321
00:20:35,981 --> 00:20:39,818
Theoretically, you have been
racing for about 40 seconds.
322
00:20:39,885 --> 00:20:42,520
So far,
Mr. Schaffer is winning,
323
00:20:42,587 --> 00:20:45,356
because he's nearest
to the door.
324
00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:55,100
You're crazy!
325
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:59,170
A r-race! A r-race!
You have to pace yourself.
326
00:20:59,237 --> 00:21:03,208
Carbohydrate is important.
Pasta is good.
327
00:21:03,274 --> 00:21:05,944
- Breathing...
- is important.
328
00:21:06,011 --> 00:21:10,949
Scusi. One...
329
00:21:11,016 --> 00:21:14,485
It's some sort of joke.
It has to be.
Yeah.
330
00:21:14,552 --> 00:21:17,956
What kind of jackass
just gives away $2 million?
331
00:21:18,023 --> 00:21:20,558
Maybe it's
a publicity stunt.
332
00:21:20,625 --> 00:21:24,095
What kind of publicity?
He swore us all to secrecy.
333
00:21:24,162 --> 00:21:28,834
Maybe it's a secret
publicity stunt.
A secret publicity stunt?
334
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:30,368
Yes!
335
00:21:30,435 --> 00:21:32,579
I don't know what his angle is,
but there's always an angle.
336
00:21:32,603 --> 00:21:35,706
Donald Sinclair...
People like him make millions
of dollars every day...
337
00:21:35,773 --> 00:21:38,376
playing people
like us for chumps.
338
00:21:38,443 --> 00:21:40,812
I'm nobody's chump.
So you don't believe...
339
00:21:40,879 --> 00:21:44,649
11:30, nonstop to Chicago.
I'm gonna be on it.
340
00:21:44,715 --> 00:21:47,485
You know what?
He's right.
341
00:21:47,552 --> 00:21:50,221
I'm not cuttin' short
my first family vacation...
342
00:21:50,288 --> 00:21:52,757
in three years to
go on some half-assed
wild goose chase.
343
00:21:52,824 --> 00:21:56,561
Okay, so,
you're not goin' for it?
344
00:21:56,627 --> 00:21:58,596
No.
No.
345
00:21:58,663 --> 00:22:00,398
I don't think so.
346
00:22:00,465 --> 00:22:03,001
Not me, no.
No. Great.
347
00:22:03,068 --> 00:22:05,470
I guess that's
that, huh?
Right.
348
00:22:05,536 --> 00:22:08,273
It was nice meetin' y'all.
I'm gonna take the stairs.
349
00:22:08,339 --> 00:22:10,942
My room's just two floors down,
so nice meetin' ya.
350
00:22:11,009 --> 00:22:13,544
Hey, have a nice vacation.
351
00:22:21,052 --> 00:22:23,088
You know,
it's probably stuck.
352
00:22:23,154 --> 00:22:27,192
I think I'm gonna
take the stairs too.
353
00:22:33,198 --> 00:22:36,701
* Who let the dogs out
Woof, woof, woof, woof *
Crap.
354
00:22:36,767 --> 00:22:39,704
* Who let the dogs out
Woof, woof, woof, woof *
355
00:22:39,770 --> 00:22:43,074
- Go, go, go, go!
- Come on, Vera!
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
356
00:22:44,609 --> 00:22:46,945
* The party was nice
The party was jumpin' *
357
00:22:47,012 --> 00:22:49,647
Watch out!
* Yippie, yi, yo *
358
00:22:49,714 --> 00:22:52,984
Comin' through!
359
00:22:57,155 --> 00:22:59,524
Hold the door, please.
360
00:22:59,590 --> 00:23:02,227
Take your time.
No rush.
361
00:23:02,293 --> 00:23:04,462
Get up!
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait!
362
00:23:04,529 --> 00:23:09,067
This is crazy. If we're all
gonna go for it, why don't
we go for it together?
363
00:23:09,134 --> 00:23:12,303
You know,
split the money 50-50.
364
00:23:12,370 --> 00:23:16,041
Fifty-fifty?
You know what I mean.
Whatever, whatever.
365
00:23:16,107 --> 00:23:18,043
Yes, yes, that's a good plan.
366
00:23:18,109 --> 00:23:21,179
It's a race.
It's a r-race.
367
00:23:21,246 --> 00:23:24,482
I'm winning. I'm winning.
368
00:23:27,685 --> 00:23:29,554
And they're off!
369
00:23:29,620 --> 00:23:31,489
No one...
370
00:23:31,556 --> 00:23:35,693
No one is offering you
action like this.
371
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,997
A horse race with animals
that can think and plan...
372
00:23:39,064 --> 00:23:43,401
and lie and cheat
and play dirty.
373
00:23:43,468 --> 00:23:47,238
Hmph. It's the gambling
experience of a lifetime.
374
00:23:47,305 --> 00:23:51,542
It's my way of saying
I understand men like you.
375
00:23:51,609 --> 00:23:54,479
I know what you want.
I know what you need.
376
00:23:54,545 --> 00:23:58,449
This casino... my casino...
Is where you belong.
377
00:24:00,785 --> 00:24:03,154
I got it!
Excuse me!
378
00:24:03,221 --> 00:24:05,590
To the airport.
You got it.
379
00:24:05,656 --> 00:24:08,259
We're out the door.
I don't see you.
Where are you?
380
00:24:08,326 --> 00:24:12,863
I forgot to tip the maid.
I always tip the maid.
Forget the maid. There he is!
381
00:24:12,930 --> 00:24:15,233
Come on!
Let's go!
Okay, okay.
382
00:24:15,300 --> 00:24:20,605
Bev, this is a real job!
I swear!
383
00:24:20,671 --> 00:24:23,374
What is it?
384
00:24:23,441 --> 00:24:25,543
Huh?
385
00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:27,512
The job?
What's the job?
386
00:24:29,780 --> 00:24:32,150
Ink... for fountain pens.
387
00:24:34,460 --> 00:24:37,396
- And they're in New Mexico?
- Silver City, New Mexico.
388
00:24:37,463 --> 00:24:41,334
I love New Mexico.
Honey, we'll go with you.
389
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,037
No!
Why not?
390
00:24:44,103 --> 00:24:49,108
Because... we've already
paid for the room. Ah!
Now look who's wasting money.
391
00:24:49,175 --> 00:24:52,078
No, no, no. No.
This was your idea to stop here.
392
00:24:52,145 --> 00:24:55,224
I don't care about David
Copperfield. This is our family
vacation. We'll go with you.
393
00:24:55,248 --> 00:24:58,617
But you don't understand...
We will go with you!
394
00:24:59,852 --> 00:25:03,056
Fine.
Yes!
395
00:25:03,122 --> 00:25:06,125
Fine. Fine. Here.
Call the bellman.
Have him bring the van around.
396
00:25:06,192 --> 00:25:08,361
You happy? You happy?
Okay.
397
00:25:08,427 --> 00:25:12,865
Scusi. Scusi.
I'm in a race.
Scusi. Oh!
398
00:25:12,932 --> 00:25:15,634
Scusi. It's a race.
399
00:25:29,949 --> 00:25:33,452
What is he doing?
I think he's sleeping.
400
00:25:33,519 --> 00:25:37,456
Sleeping?
He must be narcoleptic.
It's a rare sleeping disorder.
401
00:25:37,523 --> 00:25:40,994
But I bet on him!
So did I.
Two million dollars.
402
00:25:41,060 --> 00:25:43,396
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
All the bets are locked in.
403
00:25:43,462 --> 00:25:45,498
Sleeping! Sleeping!
404
00:25:53,606 --> 00:25:56,175
Look out!
Don't tell me how to drive!
405
00:25:56,242 --> 00:25:59,778
It's only yellow.
It's only yellow. Run it!
406
00:25:59,845 --> 00:26:03,449
Where's my video game?
Seat belts, everyone.
407
00:26:03,516 --> 00:26:08,121
-Honey, what is the rush?
-I don't wanna be late. This is
the opportunity of a lifetime.
408
00:26:08,187 --> 00:26:10,756
You're not just a travel agent,
Roger. You're an angel.
409
00:26:10,823 --> 00:26:13,592
There's one charter plane
available in Las Vegas.
410
00:26:13,659 --> 00:26:15,528
We just bagged it.
Ooh.
411
00:26:15,594 --> 00:26:17,530
Back to pass.
Get rid of it.
412
00:26:17,596 --> 00:26:21,167
Looks to his left.
Get rid of it.
Throw the ball!
413
00:26:21,234 --> 00:26:23,669
That's why you're not
gonna get drafted!
414
00:26:23,736 --> 00:26:26,872
You'll be lucky to play
arena football in Barcelona!
415
00:26:26,939 --> 00:26:29,708
- You like football?
- Sure.
416
00:26:29,775 --> 00:26:33,879
Did you happen to catch that,
uh, Dallas game last week?
417
00:26:33,946 --> 00:26:39,085
You can't really call it
a game. It was an obscenity.
It was a crime against football.
418
00:26:39,152 --> 00:26:41,754
I lost 20 grand on that game!
And they would have won!
419
00:26:41,820 --> 00:26:45,391
Now I gotta work two shifts
because of that idiot!
420
00:26:45,458 --> 00:26:49,562
Stevie Wonder could have
done a better job
calling that game.
421
00:26:49,628 --> 00:26:53,732
Where the hell's
the airport?
422
00:26:55,768 --> 00:26:59,305
One lousy flip of the coin
and the whole franchise goes
straight down the crapper.
423
00:26:59,372 --> 00:27:01,574
That'll be 10.50, buddy.
Keep the change.
424
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:06,145
Hey, hey, hey!
Thanks a lot. You have
a nice flight. Yeah! Whoo!
425
00:27:06,212 --> 00:27:08,414
You know who that was?
Nah.
426
00:27:08,481 --> 00:27:12,451
That was the ref.
The guy from the game?
The coin toss!
427
00:27:12,518 --> 00:27:15,454
Oh, my God!
You're right!
That was him!
428
00:27:15,521 --> 00:27:17,723
I had him in the cab,
and I let him go!
429
00:27:17,790 --> 00:27:20,759
Where are we going?
We gotta go.
Come on. Just go.
430
00:27:20,826 --> 00:27:24,063
Go, go, go, go, go.
Chumps.
431
00:27:37,543 --> 00:27:39,878
**
432
00:27:49,255 --> 00:27:51,524
Excuse me. Hi.
433
00:27:51,590 --> 00:27:55,694
I'm not a creep
or anything.
I don't have any quarters.
434
00:27:55,761 --> 00:28:01,234
Oh, no, um, no.
I never do this, but I'm
reading the same book you are.
435
00:28:01,300 --> 00:28:03,436
Look. See? Lindbergh.
Hmm.
436
00:28:03,502 --> 00:28:05,504
It's fantastic, isn't it?
Mm-hmm.
437
00:28:05,571 --> 00:28:09,342
What part are you on?
He just had a sex change.
438
00:28:09,408 --> 00:28:11,510
Who did? Lindbergh?
Mm-hmm.
439
00:28:11,577 --> 00:28:14,147
- Sex change?
- Ooh, yeah. Ooh.
440
00:28:17,716 --> 00:28:19,418
That's funny.
441
00:28:19,485 --> 00:28:21,354
I thought so.
That's funny.
442
00:28:21,420 --> 00:28:23,356
I wouldn't be too proud
of yourself though.
443
00:28:23,422 --> 00:28:25,424
I'm the most gullible
guy in Chicago.
444
00:28:25,491 --> 00:28:27,860
Uh-huh.
445
00:28:27,926 --> 00:28:30,363
Can I buy you a drink?
446
00:28:30,429 --> 00:28:32,998
I can't. I'm flying.
447
00:28:33,065 --> 00:28:38,103
- So, it'll relax you.
- No, I mean, I'm flying.
I'm a pilot.
448
00:28:38,171 --> 00:28:41,507
Oh. Ah.
449
00:28:41,574 --> 00:28:44,343
Pilot? Are there
a lot of female pilots?
450
00:28:44,410 --> 00:28:47,180
There's at least one.
451
00:28:50,249 --> 00:28:53,752
As soon as I walk away,
I'm gonna think of something
great to say to that.
452
00:28:53,819 --> 00:28:56,422
Good. Mail it to me.
453
00:29:01,527 --> 00:29:03,796
Flight 115 to
Albuquerque, New Mexico.
454
00:29:03,862 --> 00:29:06,899
Gate 17.
You better hurry.
Four tickets to Albuquerque.
455
00:29:06,965 --> 00:29:09,835
Please. Near the front
of the plane. Please.
All right.
456
00:29:09,902 --> 00:29:11,837
Come on!
457
00:29:11,904 --> 00:29:15,941
This is so exciting.
I've never been on
a private plane before.
458
00:29:16,008 --> 00:29:17,910
This is bigger than my condo.
459
00:29:17,976 --> 00:29:20,779
Gentlemen,
what's our E.T.A.?
One hour and ten minutes.
460
00:29:20,846 --> 00:29:24,016
If you can do it
in less than an hour,
I'll buy you both dinner.
461
00:29:24,082 --> 00:29:25,751
You're on...
462
00:29:25,818 --> 00:29:28,921
Watch it. Move.
Excuse me. Move.
Move! Move! Move!
463
00:29:28,987 --> 00:29:30,889
- Who was next?
- I was!
464
00:29:30,956 --> 00:29:32,825
I was!
I was!
465
00:29:32,891 --> 00:29:34,993
What? You were not next!
Are you callin' me a liar?
466
00:29:35,060 --> 00:29:38,697
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
I am. We've been in line
over 20 minutes.
467
00:29:38,764 --> 00:29:42,134
Is that the correct time?
Hey! Whoa!
468
00:29:42,201 --> 00:29:44,503
Yes, it is.
469
00:29:44,570 --> 00:29:47,840
- Who's next?
- They were, right there.
470
00:29:47,906 --> 00:29:50,643
Two tickets to Albuquerque.-
471
00:29:50,709 --> 00:29:55,047
I'm sorry. Ouch.
We're completely booked.
There's nothing.
472
00:29:55,113 --> 00:29:57,916
Oh, there's a 4:30, but
you have to switch in Dallas.
473
00:30:02,688 --> 00:30:07,460
What do you mean that's it?
I'm not givin' up
and neither are you.
474
00:30:07,526 --> 00:30:11,096
And neither am I!
I'll tell you something,
brother.
475
00:30:11,163 --> 00:30:16,435
If we're not flyin' outta here,
no one is flyin' outta here.
476
00:31:06,685 --> 00:31:09,855
Whoo!
Okay!
477
00:31:13,626 --> 00:31:16,562
Well, that can't be good.
478
00:31:23,936 --> 00:31:26,572
Duane!
479
00:31:29,207 --> 00:31:31,344
Ooh!
480
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,515
Whoa!
481
00:31:38,551 --> 00:31:41,654
No!
482
00:31:48,461 --> 00:31:50,996
Blaine! Blaine!
483
00:31:54,199 --> 00:31:57,903
Oh! Oh, no.
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
484
00:31:57,970 --> 00:32:00,205
Blaine!
485
00:32:03,241 --> 00:32:05,778
Shit!
486
00:32:16,589 --> 00:32:19,958
I can't!
487
00:32:20,025 --> 00:32:24,262
What are you doin'?
I don't know where to go!
488
00:32:24,329 --> 00:32:26,298
Move! Aah!
Trying to kill me?
489
00:32:26,365 --> 00:32:30,603
Duane, stop the car!
Stop the car!
490
00:32:30,669 --> 00:32:34,306
Oh, no!
Hey! Hey! Oh!
491
00:32:34,373 --> 00:32:39,612
Blaine! Blaine!
492
00:32:41,647 --> 00:32:45,784
Whoa, girl! Jesus!
493
00:32:59,064 --> 00:33:02,468
Freeze everything, every flight.
Get me Central Operations.
494
00:33:04,803 --> 00:33:06,772
Attention all passengers.
495
00:33:06,839 --> 00:33:09,374
Due to a technical problem
with our radar tracking system,
496
00:33:09,442 --> 00:33:11,744
all flights are postponed
until further notice.
497
00:33:11,810 --> 00:33:15,113
We apologize for
any inconvenience.
498
00:33:15,180 --> 00:33:17,516
Come on. We gotta go.
499
00:33:17,583 --> 00:33:19,051
Hurry up!
The bags?
500
00:33:19,117 --> 00:33:20,853
Forget the bags!
Let's go!
501
00:33:20,919 --> 00:33:24,356
Comin' through!
502
00:33:24,423 --> 00:33:27,660
This is your license?
Yes, it is.
503
00:33:28,661 --> 00:33:30,596
Where was it issued?
In Guam.
504
00:33:32,998 --> 00:33:37,269
Just head east,
and I'm in a hurry.
505
00:33:37,335 --> 00:33:42,575
Hello again. East it is.
506
00:33:43,942 --> 00:33:47,045
We have a, uh,
midsized Caprice.
507
00:33:47,112 --> 00:33:49,815
What color is it?
We don't care about color.
508
00:33:49,882 --> 00:33:52,451
Just give us whatever car
is parked closest to the door.
509
00:33:52,518 --> 00:33:55,087
Ask about insurance.
510
00:33:55,153 --> 00:33:58,557
Would you be
interested in purchasing
liability insurance?
511
00:33:58,624 --> 00:34:01,126
How much is it?
It doesn't matter.
We'll take it.
512
00:34:01,193 --> 00:34:03,128
Just hurry.
513
00:34:03,195 --> 00:34:07,600
Hit enter.
514
00:34:07,666 --> 00:34:09,668
Now shift.
515
00:34:09,735 --> 00:34:13,105
Shift key.
Right there. Yeah.
516
00:34:13,171 --> 00:34:16,208
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
517
00:34:16,274 --> 00:34:18,243
Hey, watch it!
518
00:34:18,310 --> 00:34:22,414
Bus!
White people!
519
00:34:22,481 --> 00:34:25,183
Idiot!
520
00:34:26,351 --> 00:34:28,554
Okay, I've got one.
521
00:34:29,555 --> 00:34:31,957
What?
A great comeback.
522
00:34:32,024 --> 00:34:33,992
Oh, okay.
Okay.
523
00:34:34,059 --> 00:34:36,294
I said, "Are there
a lot of female pilots?"
524
00:34:36,361 --> 00:34:38,196
And you said,
"There's at least one."
525
00:34:38,263 --> 00:34:41,767
I should have said,
"Two if you count Lindbergh."
526
00:34:41,834 --> 00:34:44,837
'Cause you said
he had a sex change.
527
00:34:44,903 --> 00:34:47,540
It's a work in progress.
Okay.
528
00:34:47,606 --> 00:34:49,875
I'm Nick Schaffer.
Tracy Faucet.
529
00:34:49,942 --> 00:34:52,044
So I guess you can have
that drink now.
530
00:34:52,110 --> 00:34:55,548
No, I told you I'm flying.
I'm leaving for Roswell
in five minutes.
531
00:34:55,614 --> 00:34:57,950
Didn't you hear?
Everybody's grounded.
532
00:34:58,016 --> 00:35:02,054
That's only for fixed wing.
I'm in a chopper.
We use a different system.
533
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,022
Oh.
534
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:12,230
Roswell, New Mexico?
Uh-huh.
535
00:35:12,297 --> 00:35:15,601
- You're flying to New Mexico?
- Yeah, we've been
flying down all week.
536
00:35:15,668 --> 00:35:17,636
They're repainting
the whole fleet.
537
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:26,011
You can fly.
Nobody else can fly.
538
00:35:26,078 --> 00:35:29,081
But you can fly.
539
00:35:29,147 --> 00:35:32,284
And you're flying
to New Mexico.
Yeah.
540
00:35:32,350 --> 00:35:35,353
But nobody else can fly.
Yeah.
541
00:35:35,420 --> 00:35:38,724
Do you need a ride?
542
00:35:42,227 --> 00:35:44,730
Come on!
543
00:35:50,035 --> 00:35:52,971
Coconut.
Coconut!
Who had coconut?
544
00:35:53,038 --> 00:35:55,874
I did.
545
00:35:55,941 --> 00:35:57,643
Ah, Phil.
546
00:35:59,144 --> 00:36:01,346
That's the kind of car
that I'm gettin'.
547
00:36:01,413 --> 00:36:04,082
Yeah? Don't count on it.
Why not?
548
00:36:04,149 --> 00:36:07,119
Because the Volkswagen
Beetle was used
by the Nazis.
549
00:36:07,185 --> 00:36:10,589
I would not be comfortable
driving around in one.
550
00:36:10,656 --> 00:36:14,960
So, don't drive it.
I will.
Dad, I have to go.
551
00:36:15,027 --> 00:36:18,496
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do. I really do.
552
00:36:18,563 --> 00:36:22,968
- We just stopped!
- I couldn't go.
The bathroom was too gross.
553
00:36:23,035 --> 00:36:27,072
Well, can't you hold it in?
I can't!
It's an emergency.
554
00:36:27,139 --> 00:36:29,207
Honey, there's
a restaurant.
555
00:36:29,274 --> 00:36:32,153
That's three miles off the road,
and then three miles back.
We lose ten minutes.
556
00:36:32,177 --> 00:36:34,479
So what?
Your daughter has to go
to the bathroom.
557
00:36:34,546 --> 00:36:36,915
Please stop, Dad.
All right.
558
00:36:36,982 --> 00:36:39,618
Jason, look back there
for an empty jar.
559
00:36:39,685 --> 00:36:41,687
A jar?
Girls don't pee in jars.
560
00:36:41,754 --> 00:36:43,789
Oh, all right, sorry.
561
00:36:43,856 --> 00:36:47,559
Jason, we're gonna
need a jar and a funnel.
562
00:36:47,626 --> 00:36:50,128
Dad, I don't have to pee.
It's number two!
563
00:36:50,195 --> 00:36:54,633
- Sorry, I can't stop.
- Dad, I'm prairie-dogging it.
564
00:36:54,700 --> 00:36:56,168
What does that mean?
565
00:36:56,234 --> 00:37:00,005
Like when a prairie dog
sticks his head in and out
of the ground.
566
00:37:00,072 --> 00:37:03,008
Hmm. Oh!
567
00:37:03,075 --> 00:37:04,542
Oh!
Oh!
568
00:37:04,609 --> 00:37:07,012
I do not want
to picture that.
569
00:37:07,079 --> 00:37:10,783
Yes, sir,
Silver City it is.
570
00:37:10,849 --> 00:37:14,186
Buddy.
It's about 700 miles.
571
00:37:14,252 --> 00:37:18,657
You don't mind, do ya?
Oh, no. No, no,
I don't mind.
572
00:37:18,724 --> 00:37:22,060
A job's just
another job for me.
573
00:37:22,127 --> 00:37:25,097
About how much you think
that's gonna cost?
574
00:37:25,163 --> 00:37:29,968
I wouldn't worry about it.
Tell you what.
575
00:37:30,035 --> 00:37:34,172
You just pay me
whatever you think is fair,
576
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:39,244
'cause I trust
your judgment.
Hmph.
577
00:37:39,311 --> 00:37:42,280
I hate you. I hate you!
578
00:37:42,347 --> 00:37:46,551
Nobody look. I'm gonna
turn on the radio, honey,
so nobody can hear you.
579
00:37:46,618 --> 00:37:48,496
** I'll never forgive you.
I hate you.
580
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,189
Nobody can hear you, honey.
Push away.
581
00:37:56,895 --> 00:37:59,765
Whoo-hoo!
582
00:37:59,832 --> 00:38:03,011
I'm gonna drop you off right
there. There's a parking lot
right near the hospital.
583
00:38:03,035 --> 00:38:06,471
Great. Great.
So what's wrong with her?
584
00:38:06,538 --> 00:38:09,441
- Who?
- Your sister.
You said it was serious.
585
00:38:10,809 --> 00:38:14,379
Oh, uh, yeah.
Shark bite.
586
00:38:15,547 --> 00:38:18,216
- A shark bite?
- Yeah.
587
00:38:18,283 --> 00:38:21,019
They took her
to Silver City?
588
00:38:21,086 --> 00:38:24,356
They have a really good
shark attack unit there.
589
00:38:31,363 --> 00:38:34,266
How fast was I going?
590
00:38:42,007 --> 00:38:46,011
Where are we?
Oh, it's a shortcut
I know.
591
00:38:46,078 --> 00:38:49,915
Well, maybe we should
stick to the highway.
There's a thought.
592
00:38:49,982 --> 00:38:54,286
You say we should stick
to the highway. I say
we should take my shortcut.
593
00:38:54,352 --> 00:38:59,091
Why don't we
just flip a coin?
It's not what you think.
594
00:38:59,157 --> 00:39:02,494
Come on, you blind
son of a bitch!
Wait! Stop it!
595
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,164
Where's that whistle?
Give me that goddamn whistle!
I'm gonna shove it up your ass!
596
00:39:06,231 --> 00:39:08,600
Come back here!
Arrivederci.
597
00:39:08,666 --> 00:39:11,703
Ooh, ah, ooh, ooh,
ah, ooh, ooh, ah!
598
00:39:11,770 --> 00:39:14,606
Ooh! Oh, shit. Ooh!
Ah, ooh.
599
00:39:14,672 --> 00:39:19,211
I'll kill him. Ah!
600
00:39:19,277 --> 00:39:23,615
Ooh, ah, ooh, ow, ow,
ooh, aah, ooh!
601
00:39:23,681 --> 00:39:26,351
Ah, ooh, ah, ah!
Oh, a-ha-ha!
602
00:39:36,694 --> 00:39:41,233
- Squirrel?
- No, thank you. We're
looking for the interstate.
603
00:39:41,299 --> 00:39:44,837
I get that a lot
'cause of the detour.
604
00:39:44,903 --> 00:39:48,841
Oh, now they've
lost their way.
605
00:39:48,907 --> 00:39:53,078
Now they can't go home.
You sure you don't want one?
606
00:39:53,145 --> 00:39:54,847
We're sure. Thank you.
607
00:39:54,913 --> 00:39:58,683
They make crackerjack pets.
I taught this one
to shake hands.
608
00:39:58,750 --> 00:40:02,787
He's not for sale though.
Who wants to go home
with the nice ladies, huh?
609
00:40:02,855 --> 00:40:06,224
"Oh, pick me. Pick me.
Oh, don't be afraid.
I don't bite.
610
00:40:06,291 --> 00:40:10,728
- What's your name,
pretty lady?"
- Vera.
611
00:40:10,795 --> 00:40:13,198
Ma'am, uh, really.
We're not interested.
612
00:40:13,265 --> 00:40:16,368
Well, I'm not talkin'
to you, am I?
I'm talkin' to Vera.
613
00:40:16,434 --> 00:40:20,839
What about Bucky here?
He just loves to climb
the trees and eat the nuts.
614
00:40:20,906 --> 00:40:23,041
Ma'am, we do not
want a squirrel.
615
00:40:23,108 --> 00:40:25,243
Do you or do you not know
where the interstate is?
616
00:40:25,310 --> 00:40:28,646
Of course I do.
I'm not retarded.
"Tell 'em about the shortcut."
617
00:40:28,713 --> 00:40:31,083
Oh, thank you, Bucky.
618
00:40:31,149 --> 00:40:34,552
I almost forgot.
There's a dandy shortcut.
619
00:40:34,619 --> 00:40:37,255
It'll bring you
right to exit 14.
It'll save you 30 miles.
620
00:40:37,322 --> 00:40:40,458
- Oh!
- Now listen carefully.
621
00:40:40,525 --> 00:40:44,096
You want to go straight
down here exactly 1.8 miles.
622
00:40:44,162 --> 00:40:48,366
- 1.8.
- And you make a left
at the Totem Pole Ranch.
623
00:40:48,433 --> 00:40:51,269
Go 5.4 miles and
you're gonna go up a big hill.
624
00:40:51,336 --> 00:40:54,907
You'll see a big yellow sign
with some graffiti on it.
625
00:40:54,973 --> 00:40:59,577
There's a little dirt road.
Take that on the right. It'll
take you to the interstate.
626
00:40:59,644 --> 00:41:00,946
Thank you.
Thank you.
627
00:41:01,013 --> 00:41:05,283
Oh, wait a minute.
Take some nuts with you...
628
00:41:05,350 --> 00:41:08,153
just in case
you see a squirrel, okay?
629
00:41:08,220 --> 00:41:09,387
Okay.
630
00:41:09,454 --> 00:41:14,026
"Bye. Bye. Oh,
you could have bought me."
631
00:41:14,092 --> 00:41:16,728
You'll make it.
You'll make it.
632
00:41:16,794 --> 00:41:18,863
Ah. Ah.
633
00:41:22,300 --> 00:41:25,103
Where am I?
634
00:41:28,706 --> 00:41:31,709
Wow! A Barbie Museum!
Can we stop?
635
00:41:31,776 --> 00:41:36,214
Sorry, Kimmy.
We have a plan, and we're
gonna stick to the plan.
636
00:41:36,281 --> 00:41:38,683
Please, Daddy.
Please, please,
please, please, please.
637
00:41:38,750 --> 00:41:41,119
Hey, hey!
It's not fair.
638
00:41:41,186 --> 00:41:43,755
We never get to stop
anywhere I want to.
639
00:41:43,821 --> 00:41:47,225
I'm sure Jason doesn't want
to go to the Barbie Museum.
640
00:41:47,292 --> 00:41:50,662
Are you kiddin'?
I'll stop anywhere.
I'm wigging out back here.
641
00:41:50,728 --> 00:41:54,266
Yeah, okay, honey.
You need to pull over and stop
to give the kids a break.
642
00:41:54,332 --> 00:41:56,268
Yeah, okay,
maybe on the way back.
643
00:41:56,334 --> 00:41:58,370
- Stop the car.
- I can't do that.
644
00:41:58,436 --> 00:42:00,405
- We all need to stop the car.
- No can do.
645
00:42:00,472 --> 00:42:02,874
- You need to stop the car.
- No!
646
00:42:02,941 --> 00:42:06,644
Stop the car!
647
00:42:09,214 --> 00:42:13,718
Okay, fine, but 10 minutes.
648
00:42:13,785 --> 00:42:17,022
Wow! The Barbie Museum.
649
00:42:17,089 --> 00:42:19,424
Klaus Barbie,
650
00:42:19,491 --> 00:42:21,826
sometimes known as
the Butcher of Lyons.
651
00:42:21,893 --> 00:42:26,031
Let the Jew revisionists
talk about their
death camps...
652
00:42:26,098 --> 00:42:28,967
and so-called crimes
against humanity.
653
00:42:29,034 --> 00:42:34,506
This museum is lovingly
dedicated to the Klaus
Barbie that nobody knows.
654
00:42:34,572 --> 00:42:38,310
The husband,
the devoted father,
the wine connoisseur...
655
00:42:38,376 --> 00:42:41,346
and three-time
ballroom dancing champion.
656
00:42:47,485 --> 00:42:51,256
Hey, hey, there's that guy,
the "udgy" one.
657
00:42:53,391 --> 00:42:56,894
Barbie joined
the S.S. in 1935...
658
00:42:56,961 --> 00:43:00,865
where he soon became
one of the Fuhrer's
favorite young officers.
659
00:43:00,932 --> 00:43:03,368
Uh, can we go?
Shh.
660
00:43:03,435 --> 00:43:06,671
Here we see him standing
beside Hitler's touring car,
661
00:43:06,738 --> 00:43:10,842
the very same car which
can be seen on display
outside in our courtyard.
662
00:43:10,908 --> 00:43:13,711
You're leaving?
663
00:43:13,778 --> 00:43:15,813
What...
664
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:20,518
No... Yes. Well,
we have a 4:30 book burning,
and then we have a...
665
00:43:20,585 --> 00:43:22,687
A christening.
Yes, a christening...
666
00:43:22,754 --> 00:43:26,824
for one of our many white,
Christian, non-Jewish friends...
667
00:43:26,891 --> 00:43:32,530
Family. Blood relatives.
Yes, the Himmler Hessin
Von Sturichberg...
668
00:43:32,597 --> 00:43:35,200
Okay. Thank you so much.
Yes, love your do.
669
00:43:35,267 --> 00:43:37,169
Thank you.
It's beautiful.
We had a great time.
670
00:43:37,235 --> 00:43:40,305
Wow! Oh, a gift shop.
671
00:43:40,372 --> 00:43:43,641
Yes, I know, honey.
Next time. I promise.
I really do.
672
00:43:43,708 --> 00:43:45,677
Just go. Just go.
673
00:43:45,743 --> 00:43:50,382
What is... Oh, my God!
We've been cut!
What do we do now?
674
00:43:50,448 --> 00:43:53,051
I say we take
the interstate.
675
00:43:53,118 --> 00:43:56,688
No, "ake" Highway "well."
That's a shortcut.
676
00:43:56,754 --> 00:44:00,425
You don't know what the shortcut
is. It could be anything.
It could be a dirt road.
677
00:44:00,492 --> 00:44:04,262
You know what?
There are "oo" of us.
Why don't we just separate?
678
00:44:04,329 --> 00:44:07,332
What?
There's "oo" of us.
679
00:44:07,399 --> 00:44:10,935
"Amy" we should
"ust" separate.
680
00:44:11,002 --> 00:44:13,738
You're right.
You're a genius.
681
00:44:13,805 --> 00:44:17,609
There's two of us. If we
separate and you steal a car,
we can both go our own way...
682
00:44:17,675 --> 00:44:19,744
and double our chances
of gettin' there first.
683
00:44:19,811 --> 00:44:22,247
All right.
You take the...
684
00:44:22,314 --> 00:44:24,649
We only got one "ee."
685
00:44:27,219 --> 00:44:31,289
Oh, look, there it is.
Totem Pole Ranch, turn left.
686
00:44:31,356 --> 00:44:35,693
1.8 miles exactly.
All right, squirrel lady.
687
00:44:39,731 --> 00:44:44,436
I can't believe it, Dad.
You just stole Adolf Hitler's
Mercedes-Benz.
688
00:44:44,502 --> 00:44:48,806
Hitler had it comin'.
What goes around
comes around.
689
00:44:48,873 --> 00:44:50,808
They're gonna
be pissed.
690
00:44:50,875 --> 00:44:55,347
They're always pissed, honey.
They're Nazis.
It's like it's their job.
691
00:44:55,413 --> 00:45:00,785
Hey, honey, when we get
to Silver City, we'll call 'em.
We'll work somethin' out.
692
00:45:00,852 --> 00:45:03,121
Yee-hoo!
693
00:45:06,224 --> 00:45:07,692
North?
694
00:45:07,759 --> 00:45:10,295
A little detour.
It'll just take a minute.
695
00:45:10,362 --> 00:45:12,830
I just wanted to say hi
to my boyfriend.
696
00:45:12,897 --> 00:45:14,799
Oh.
697
00:45:21,206 --> 00:45:24,809
I can't believe it.
That... That son of a bitch!
698
00:45:24,876 --> 00:45:26,811
That's Charlene's car.
699
00:45:26,878 --> 00:45:30,415
- Charlene?
- His ex-girlfriend,
or so I thought.
700
00:45:30,482 --> 00:45:34,686
Come on now.
I'm sure there's a
perfectly innocent explanation.
701
00:45:34,752 --> 00:45:37,789
She probably came by
just to pick up
some clothes or... Oh!
702
00:45:37,855 --> 00:45:40,858
Nice and warm.
703
00:45:40,925 --> 00:45:43,195
Okay.
704
00:45:46,030 --> 00:45:48,433
What the... No!
705
00:45:48,500 --> 00:45:50,868
Get down!
706
00:45:52,704 --> 00:45:56,441
Did I come at
a bad time, asshole?
707
00:45:58,142 --> 00:46:02,447
I'll ram this helicopter
right down your throat!
708
00:46:03,781 --> 00:46:06,117
- Ahh!
- No! Whoa!
709
00:46:06,184 --> 00:46:08,786
Hey! Whoa!
What are you doing?
710
00:46:08,853 --> 00:46:13,491
Don't worry about me.
My father's a navy pilot.
I've been flying since I was 15.
711
00:46:13,558 --> 00:46:16,528
I'm not worried about you.
I'm worried about me.
712
00:46:16,594 --> 00:46:21,165
Shawn, you have a minute?
I want to talk about
our relationship.
713
00:46:35,247 --> 00:46:37,915
Suck on that, creep!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
714
00:46:37,982 --> 00:46:39,517
- Oh!
- Ah!
715
00:46:39,584 --> 00:46:42,554
- That's...
- Not the truck!
716
00:46:42,620 --> 00:46:45,523
Oh, my God!
717
00:46:45,590 --> 00:46:47,892
Come on. Help me.
Open it.
718
00:46:47,959 --> 00:46:49,694
I'm not comfortable...
719
00:46:49,761 --> 00:46:51,629
Open it!
Okay.
720
00:46:57,168 --> 00:46:59,537
She's gonna kill me.
721
00:46:59,604 --> 00:47:02,274
We should get outta here.
Not yet!
722
00:47:02,340 --> 00:47:06,878
You two-timing,
backstabbing snake!
723
00:47:06,944 --> 00:47:08,946
You worm! You turd!
724
00:47:11,949 --> 00:47:17,655
My God!
What was I thinking?
I want my five months back!
725
00:47:19,156 --> 00:47:21,726
I'm getting
the tattoo removed!
726
00:47:21,793 --> 00:47:23,895
No!
727
00:47:23,961 --> 00:47:25,597
Hey!
Oh!
728
00:47:25,663 --> 00:47:27,665
Stop hitting me!
729
00:47:27,732 --> 00:47:31,135
Where are you goin', baby?
Wait for me!
No!
730
00:47:38,610 --> 00:47:43,715
No! Oh! Whoa!
731
00:47:43,781 --> 00:47:47,018
No!
732
00:47:50,355 --> 00:47:55,126
- I think we just killed him.
- You can't kill him!
He's like a cockroach.
733
00:47:57,128 --> 00:48:00,765
- Uh-oh.
- No, no, no, no-oh!
734
00:48:00,832 --> 00:48:02,634
No, fix the... Oh!
735
00:48:02,700 --> 00:48:06,738
No!
736
00:48:06,804 --> 00:48:10,241
Should we be this low?
737
00:48:14,145 --> 00:48:17,449
Come on. Come on.
Let's keep goin'. Come on.
738
00:48:19,183 --> 00:48:24,456
We just violated
about 115 federal laws.
739
00:48:24,522 --> 00:48:27,191
"We"?
I'm getting out of here.
Are you coming?
740
00:48:27,258 --> 00:48:30,928
No. No, no.
I know things look bad...
741
00:48:33,130 --> 00:48:34,999
Nice meeting you.
742
00:48:38,302 --> 00:48:40,405
Get out of the truck, Shawn.
743
00:48:40,472 --> 00:48:43,808
That's it, Tracy.
You and I are through.
744
00:48:46,344 --> 00:48:48,946
Tracy! Wait!
745
00:48:50,482 --> 00:48:54,419
* Ooh, sugar pie honey bunch *
Tracy!
746
00:48:54,486 --> 00:48:56,388
* You know that I love you *
747
00:48:56,454 --> 00:49:00,191
Wait. This is the first
illegal thing I've done
in my adult life.
748
00:49:00,257 --> 00:49:02,126
How does it feel?
749
00:49:02,193 --> 00:49:05,497
I'm shaking, but that could be
from the helicopter crash.
750
00:49:05,563 --> 00:49:10,001
- Get out of my truck, Tracy!
- It's my truck, Shawn!
I paid for it!
751
00:49:10,067 --> 00:49:12,336
Who is this?
Oh, nobody.
752
00:49:12,404 --> 00:49:14,171
You are nobody.
Nobody.
753
00:49:14,238 --> 00:49:18,275
You stay away from her, nobody,
unless you're tired of livin'.
754
00:49:18,342 --> 00:49:22,614
Shawn, while you're here,
do me a favor. Charlene
left a bra in the truck.
755
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:26,050
Could you make sure
she gets it? Thanks, honey.
756
00:49:26,117 --> 00:49:28,453
Oh! Help!
757
00:49:31,389 --> 00:49:36,428
* No, I can't help myself
Oh **
758
00:50:15,567 --> 00:50:18,402
So where's the driver?
He's in the powder room.
759
00:50:18,470 --> 00:50:22,339
Hell's bells. We're never
gonna get to Santa Fe by 3:00.
760
00:50:22,406 --> 00:50:24,241
This is ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
761
00:50:24,308 --> 00:50:28,312
I really wish he'd hurry.
It just seems
very unprofessional.
762
00:50:33,317 --> 00:50:35,152
Oh!
763
00:50:35,219 --> 00:50:37,889
Oh. Oh, mister,
you gotta help me.
My wife...
764
00:50:37,955 --> 00:50:39,491
She's out back.
She's having a baby.
765
00:50:39,557 --> 00:50:41,526
- She's having a what?
- A baby!
766
00:50:41,593 --> 00:50:43,495
She's having a baby?
And it's halfway out!
767
00:50:43,561 --> 00:50:45,830
I can see the head!
Oh!
768
00:50:45,897 --> 00:50:48,933
- I need your jacket.
- Why?
769
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:53,237
- Uh, for her amniotic sac!
- Oh!
770
00:50:53,304 --> 00:50:55,940
- Her amniotic fluid...
It's all gushing out.
- Gushing?
771
00:50:56,007 --> 00:50:59,276
The jacket! The jacket!
Give me the jacket!
772
00:50:59,343 --> 00:51:02,146
- And your pants.
- My pants?
773
00:51:02,213 --> 00:51:05,617
Your pants! Yeah, for her,
you know, her "placentia,"
774
00:51:05,683 --> 00:51:08,720
you know,
and her labia and cervical...
775
00:51:08,786 --> 00:51:12,023
Mucus gushing...
It's gushing.
776
00:51:12,089 --> 00:51:15,560
It's just a hole and...
777
00:51:15,627 --> 00:51:17,929
Quick! The pants.
And the hat.
778
00:51:17,995 --> 00:51:20,932
You want my hat?
Why? Why my hat?
779
00:51:20,998 --> 00:51:23,234
Uh, for her, uh,
780
00:51:24,368 --> 00:51:26,303
vagina.
781
00:51:28,806 --> 00:51:31,743
Let's go, ladies.
All aboard. We're on our way.
782
00:51:31,809 --> 00:51:36,347
What happened to Marty?
Marty? Family emergency.
His wife's having a baby.
783
00:51:36,413 --> 00:51:40,184
A baby?
Yes, I'm Owen.
I'm your new driver. Let's go.
784
00:51:40,251 --> 00:51:42,654
Shh. Quiet.
Quiet, everybody.
785
00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:44,789
Simmer down. Hey!
786
00:51:44,856 --> 00:51:48,760
We're gonna be under way
in just a minute.
This is Owen.
787
00:51:48,826 --> 00:51:51,596
He's our new driver.
788
00:51:51,663 --> 00:51:54,231
Everyone say hello.
789
00:51:54,298 --> 00:51:58,069
Hello, Owen!
790
00:51:58,135 --> 00:52:00,838
Our next stop is
the third annual...
791
00:52:00,905 --> 00:52:04,842
I Love Lucy convention
in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
792
00:52:04,909 --> 00:52:08,780
- What do ya say?
- Ba-ba-loo!
793
00:52:23,027 --> 00:52:25,196
Ohh! Ohh!
794
00:52:41,245 --> 00:52:45,316
Is he dead?
Hey, mister,
are you dead?
795
00:52:47,752 --> 00:52:50,788
It's a race.
It's a race.
It's a race.
796
00:52:50,855 --> 00:52:55,292
Run, run,
like greased lightning.
797
00:52:55,359 --> 00:52:58,896
Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!
798
00:53:03,768 --> 00:53:06,938
Not good. Not good.
799
00:53:07,004 --> 00:53:10,675
No, no, no, no.
800
00:53:10,742 --> 00:53:13,377
No, no, no, no.
801
00:53:13,444 --> 00:53:15,246
Don't move!
Stay there.
802
00:53:15,312 --> 00:53:17,381
I saw the whole thing.
I'll be right down.
803
00:53:17,448 --> 00:53:20,985
Oh, shit! Gloria Allred.
804
00:53:21,052 --> 00:53:24,588
Hey, buddy?
Buddy, you okay?
You okay?
805
00:53:24,656 --> 00:53:26,958
Ta-dah!
You're fine!
You look great.
806
00:53:27,024 --> 00:53:28,960
You don't want to
report this, do ya?
Taxi!
807
00:53:29,026 --> 00:53:31,028
You don't need a taxi.
Come on!
808
00:53:31,095 --> 00:53:33,064
Where you goin'?
Maybe I can drop you off.
809
00:53:33,130 --> 00:53:35,933
Silver City, New Mexico.
I am in a race.
810
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,670
Silver City?
This is your lucky day!
No.
811
00:53:38,736 --> 00:53:41,572
I'm going to El Paso.
It's right on the way.
812
00:53:41,639 --> 00:53:45,643
Come on. Oh, but, uh, look,
I got to be there
by 7:00 tonight,
813
00:53:45,710 --> 00:53:48,579
so I'm going to be
driving very fast.
Great.
814
00:53:48,646 --> 00:53:51,082
Yeah!
815
00:53:51,148 --> 00:53:54,819
You just want one copy,
'cause you get an extra one
for half price?
816
00:53:54,886 --> 00:53:57,188
Just one and hurry.
817
00:53:57,254 --> 00:53:59,323
This is the best idea
you ever had.
818
00:53:59,390 --> 00:54:01,993
We split up. We take two keys.
We double our chances
of winning.
819
00:54:02,059 --> 00:54:03,995
It can't fail.
820
00:54:04,061 --> 00:54:06,698
You remember
where we're goin'?
Silver City, New Mexico.
821
00:54:06,764 --> 00:54:09,400
Right. Train station,
locker 001.
822
00:54:09,466 --> 00:54:11,402
"Ero, ero," one.
823
00:54:11,468 --> 00:54:14,171
discretion.
Don't talk to anybody.
824
00:54:14,238 --> 00:54:17,508
I won't. I "romise."
I'm serious. We're
talking about $2 million...
825
00:54:17,574 --> 00:54:19,043
in cash.
826
00:54:19,110 --> 00:54:22,413
People would just kill us
to get their hands on that key.
827
00:54:22,479 --> 00:54:25,616
I love you.
828
00:54:25,683 --> 00:54:28,385
All right, little brother,
you steal a car.
829
00:54:28,452 --> 00:54:30,922
I'm gonna try to steal
that Corvette right there.
830
00:54:30,988 --> 00:54:33,524
I don't care what you get
as long as it's fast.
831
00:54:33,590 --> 00:54:36,160
I'll meet you
in Silver City.
Don't forget your key.
832
00:54:37,929 --> 00:54:41,298
That "other-ucking" bastard!
833
00:54:41,365 --> 00:54:44,435
I'll kill 'im!
I'm gonna...
834
00:54:44,501 --> 00:54:46,303
Whoo!
835
00:54:46,370 --> 00:54:49,340
There he is!
836
00:54:50,607 --> 00:54:53,344
Go! Go!
837
00:54:54,511 --> 00:54:57,114
Okay, we're at 2.4 miles.
838
00:54:57,181 --> 00:55:00,451
There's the yellow sign
with the graffiti. Turn right.
I see it.
839
00:55:00,517 --> 00:55:02,319
Do you see it?
I see it.
840
00:55:02,386 --> 00:55:04,856
I just love this.
This is like
a treasure hunt.
841
00:55:07,558 --> 00:55:09,894
- Slow down!
- I can't!
842
00:55:14,465 --> 00:55:16,533
Help!
843
00:55:45,863 --> 00:55:50,234
But I guess my favorite
episode, if I had to pick a
favorite, would be episode 34.
844
00:55:50,301 --> 00:55:54,171
Ladies, Lucys, Lucys,
stay behind the line, please.
845
00:55:54,238 --> 00:55:56,974
Remember that one when Ricky
wouldn't take his hat off?
846
00:55:57,041 --> 00:56:00,311
I don't remember that one.
It sounds... like a masterpiece.
847
00:56:00,377 --> 00:56:03,180
How about the one where
she got caught in the freezer?
848
00:56:03,247 --> 00:56:07,284
Ma'am? Lucy! You have
to put that out, please.
849
00:56:13,925 --> 00:56:18,863
Uh, Lucy, your hair!
850
00:56:18,930 --> 00:56:23,167
Oh, thank you. You know,
I couldn't decide whether to
keep it up or try something new.
851
00:56:23,234 --> 00:56:25,736
It's on fire!
852
00:56:32,376 --> 00:56:36,247
- Stop the bus!
- We're not stoppin'!
853
00:56:36,313 --> 00:56:38,950
Just put it out!
Just put it out!
854
00:56:39,016 --> 00:56:42,253
Stop!
855
00:56:42,319 --> 00:56:44,922
The bathroom!
856
00:57:12,884 --> 00:57:17,621
Two million dollars.
Two million dollars.
Two million dollars.
857
00:57:17,688 --> 00:57:22,226
Two million dollars.
Two million dollars.
Two million dollars.
858
00:57:22,293 --> 00:57:25,062
The Donald Sinclair,
the billionaire?
859
00:57:25,129 --> 00:57:28,299
It sounds crazy, I know,
but I think it's on the level.
860
00:57:28,365 --> 00:57:31,202
Here's the thing.
We have to decide
yes or no right now.
861
00:57:31,268 --> 00:57:35,973
We're here. If everybody else
had to drive the whole way,
we have a three-hour head start.
862
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:39,877
- So you're proposing?
- We form a corporation...
Faucet and Schaffer, Inc.
863
00:57:39,944 --> 00:57:43,981
If we win, we split
everything 50-50. Here.
You can even hold the key.
864
00:57:45,349 --> 00:57:48,085
What do ya think?
865
00:57:48,152 --> 00:57:50,687
I don't know what to think.
I'm in shock.
866
00:57:50,754 --> 00:57:56,093
Three hours ago I was sitting
in the airport. I had a job.
I was reading a book.
867
00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:58,662
My grandfather used to say,
"Good things take time.
868
00:57:58,729 --> 00:58:01,265
Great things
happen all at once."
869
00:58:07,138 --> 00:58:11,608
Jason, where'd
you get that?
I found it under the seat.
870
00:58:11,675 --> 00:58:15,879
Give it to me right now.
You can't play that.
Why not?
871
00:58:15,947 --> 00:58:19,350
Because it's Hitler's harmonica.
You can't play
Hitler's harmonica.
872
00:58:19,416 --> 00:58:23,687
- You're driving his car.
- Yes, but I'm not touching it
with my mouth.
873
00:58:23,754 --> 00:58:27,558
I'm not sucking
on the dashboard.
I'm not gettin' his germs.
874
00:58:27,624 --> 00:58:29,593
Dad, look what I found.
875
00:58:29,660 --> 00:58:34,431
- Where'd you get those?
- The floor. Look,
I'm Mrs. Hitler.
876
00:58:34,498 --> 00:58:36,533
All right, take those
off right now.
877
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:39,503
Hey, look at this.
A lipstick. Ooh, it's dark.
878
00:58:39,570 --> 00:58:41,605
That Eva Braun had style,
didn't she?
879
00:58:41,672 --> 00:58:44,408
- She was Hitler's girlfriend.
- Give us a kiss.
880
00:58:44,475 --> 00:58:46,410
Bev, it's not funny.
Give me that.
881
00:58:46,477 --> 00:58:49,646
Honey!
I got it all over my hand.
882
00:58:49,713 --> 00:58:52,116
Oh! Randy!
883
00:58:58,089 --> 00:59:00,457
* Chain, chain, chain *
* R-E-S-P-E-C-T *
884
00:59:00,524 --> 00:59:02,893
* Chain, chain, chain *
* Find out
what it means to me *
885
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:05,529
* Respect
Just a little bit *
886
00:59:05,596 --> 00:59:08,065
* Just a little bit *
* Chain, chain, chain... **
887
00:59:08,132 --> 00:59:10,167
* Just... **
888
00:59:11,235 --> 00:59:14,371
Look at us go.
We are zooming.
889
00:59:14,438 --> 00:59:16,773
I told you.
We're haulin' ass.
890
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:20,577
We're haulin' ass.
All righty.
891
00:59:24,281 --> 00:59:27,784
- Guess what I got back there.
- You just told me.
892
00:59:27,851 --> 00:59:30,154
Ass. We're haulin' ass.
893
00:59:30,221 --> 00:59:32,789
No, no, no.
That's just an expression.
894
00:59:32,856 --> 00:59:34,658
Oh.
895
00:59:35,993 --> 00:59:38,062
It's a heart.
896
00:59:39,230 --> 00:59:44,101
- A heart?
- A human heart.
897
00:59:44,168 --> 00:59:47,238
Some lucky bastard
in El Paso's waiting for it.
898
00:59:47,304 --> 00:59:52,709
Normally, they put it on
a plane, but the airport's
all closed down, so...
899
00:59:57,114 --> 01:00:00,484
- You wanna see it?
- See what?
900
01:00:09,926 --> 01:00:11,995
Are we allowed?
901
01:00:12,063 --> 01:00:15,599
Just take a peek.
One peek. What could happen?
902
01:00:17,434 --> 01:00:20,404
It's a heart.
It needs fresh air.
903
01:00:20,471 --> 01:00:23,440
It's been locked up
in that cooler
for seven hours.
904
01:00:48,332 --> 01:00:50,334
Ohh!
905
01:00:57,274 --> 01:00:59,310
Oh! Oh!
Oopsy-daisy.
906
01:00:59,376 --> 01:01:02,213
Shit!
Oh, please!
I get it. I get it.
907
01:01:02,279 --> 01:01:04,781
Don't step on it!
I think I found it.
908
01:01:04,848 --> 01:01:06,683
No, that's
a caramel apple.
909
01:01:19,230 --> 01:01:21,565
This is wrong.
This is so wrong.
Shh.
910
01:01:21,632 --> 01:01:24,635
God is gonna smote us.
We're gonna get smote.
Shh!
911
01:01:24,701 --> 01:01:27,504
Come on.
We're siphoning gas.
It's not a smoting offense.
912
01:01:27,571 --> 01:01:29,473
What?
913
01:01:36,079 --> 01:01:38,115
Shouldn't be
turning me on,
should it?
914
01:01:41,985 --> 01:01:44,221
- Hey!
- Hi.
915
01:01:44,288 --> 01:01:48,058
- What are you doing?
- Seventeen cups of coffee.
916
01:01:51,428 --> 01:01:54,831
Ah! I guess, uh...
917
01:01:54,898 --> 01:01:57,501
I guess that's it.
Oh.
918
01:01:57,568 --> 01:02:00,171
Oh! I guess not.
919
01:02:00,237 --> 01:02:02,739
Oh. How do you
turn this thing off?
920
01:02:02,806 --> 01:02:04,541
Son of a bitch!
921
01:02:12,015 --> 01:02:16,019
Man! Damn it!
Keep going. Go! Go!
922
01:02:18,522 --> 01:02:20,457
He's stopping.
923
01:02:20,524 --> 01:02:22,593
'Cause he knows,
don't mess with us.
924
01:02:42,546 --> 01:02:45,516
We gotta wait.
There's too much wind.
925
01:02:45,582 --> 01:02:49,119
Guys, I need this balloon.
Hey, what are you doing?
926
01:02:49,186 --> 01:02:51,255
Hey, man, what...
927
01:02:55,726 --> 01:02:57,961
- Hey, hey!
- I know what I'm doing.
928
01:02:58,028 --> 01:03:02,299
Whoo! Whoa!
929
01:03:02,366 --> 01:03:05,769
I'm coming to get you!
Get back here!
930
01:03:10,541 --> 01:03:14,278
I'll get him.
I'm gonna get you,
stupid hardware guy! Ohh!
931
01:03:19,416 --> 01:03:24,955
Go! Go!
Stand up.
Grab the rope.
932
01:03:25,021 --> 01:03:28,625
I'm gonna get you!
Stand up. Ready?
Grab it.
933
01:03:30,761 --> 01:03:32,663
Missed it.
934
01:03:32,729 --> 01:03:37,033
Duane!
Duane, stop the car!
Hang on, buddy.
935
01:03:37,100 --> 01:03:39,069
Duane, please stop.
936
01:03:39,135 --> 01:03:41,672
Oh! Duane!
937
01:03:41,738 --> 01:03:45,041
I got it! I got it!
Just hang on.
938
01:03:45,108 --> 01:03:49,780
Duane!
939
01:03:49,846 --> 01:03:52,749
Whoa!
940
01:03:52,816 --> 01:03:57,220
Stop it! Blaine!
My God!
You're gonna kill me!
941
01:03:58,154 --> 01:04:00,257
The cows!
942
01:04:02,058 --> 01:04:03,927
Whoa!
943
01:04:03,994 --> 01:04:05,896
Move!
944
01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:12,969
Watch out!
945
01:04:31,655 --> 01:04:32,723
Shit.
946
01:04:40,163 --> 01:04:42,999
Duane!
947
01:04:43,066 --> 01:04:45,001
Whoa!
948
01:04:45,068 --> 01:04:47,203
Oh, God!
949
01:04:56,012 --> 01:04:58,849
Help! Hey!
950
01:05:03,487 --> 01:05:06,323
Give me my key.
What are you talking about?
951
01:05:06,390 --> 01:05:09,259
Give me back my key.
What key?
952
01:05:09,326 --> 01:05:10,994
Give me the key.
953
01:05:24,941 --> 01:05:27,978
Uhh!
954
01:05:59,042 --> 01:06:03,747
Blaine! Blaine!
It's me.
955
01:06:03,814 --> 01:06:05,649
Duane!
956
01:06:14,190 --> 01:06:15,759
I got the key.
957
01:06:22,633 --> 01:06:25,068
How's it going,
Captain?
958
01:06:25,135 --> 01:06:27,037
So far, so good.
959
01:06:27,103 --> 01:06:31,307
How about a pit stop?
Sorry. This is
a one-way flight.
960
01:06:31,374 --> 01:06:33,376
There's a bathroom
in the back.
961
01:06:33,444 --> 01:06:36,346
The latch is broken.
Anybody could just come in.
962
01:06:36,413 --> 01:06:41,051
So what? You ain't
got nothing the other Lucys
haven't seen already.
963
01:06:41,117 --> 01:06:43,487
Not necessarily.
964
01:06:43,554 --> 01:06:45,689
Please, would you
stop screaming?
965
01:06:45,756 --> 01:06:47,390
Damn!
966
01:06:49,926 --> 01:06:52,729
Help me!
967
01:06:52,796 --> 01:06:55,532
For God's sake,
help me!
968
01:07:08,311 --> 01:07:10,481
Oh, shit.
969
01:07:10,547 --> 01:07:12,883
Waaaaaah!
970
01:07:16,286 --> 01:07:19,422
Owen!
Owen, what are you doing?
971
01:07:19,490 --> 01:07:21,424
It's a flat tire.
Please, stay on the bus.
972
01:07:21,492 --> 01:07:25,028
Well, you're turning it the wrong way.
I know what I'm doing.
973
01:07:25,095 --> 01:07:28,932
Please, get on the bus. Wait!
Maybe we should
check the oil.
974
01:07:28,999 --> 01:07:32,803
I think you're supposed
to change the air in the
tires every 12,000 miles.
975
01:07:32,869 --> 01:07:35,639
I can fix it.
Give me that!
976
01:07:35,706 --> 01:07:39,409
Wait! No!
That's the spare!
977
01:07:43,146 --> 01:07:47,551
Oh, no! Oh, no!
978
01:07:47,618 --> 01:07:49,953
We'll still catch it.
979
01:07:50,020 --> 01:07:52,789
Oh! Oh!
980
01:07:52,856 --> 01:07:55,992
Ooh, ooh.
981
01:07:59,195 --> 01:08:02,566
Waaaaaah!
982
01:08:14,945 --> 01:08:18,982
No, no.
Turn it around.
Just turn it around.
983
01:08:19,049 --> 01:08:22,252
Please be careful.
Wait, wait, wait.
What is that?
984
01:08:24,454 --> 01:08:27,724
- It's a nickel.
- Would you please
put it in the bag?
985
01:08:45,208 --> 01:08:49,646
Why don't you
check over there?
Maybe it bounced.
986
01:08:52,082 --> 01:08:56,086
- I'm a dead man.
- Don't worry, my friend.
We will find the heart.
987
01:08:56,152 --> 01:09:00,290
I have lost my heart
many times before.
988
01:09:04,094 --> 01:09:05,896
I make a joke...
989
01:09:05,962 --> 01:09:10,066
to help you forget
how screwed you are.
990
01:09:10,133 --> 01:09:14,971
I don't think it got this far.
Let's check down by the road.
991
01:09:15,038 --> 01:09:17,240
Oh, hello. A doggy.
992
01:09:17,307 --> 01:09:19,542
Hello. Hello.
Hello there.
993
01:09:19,610 --> 01:09:21,845
Isn't he a good doggy?
994
01:09:21,912 --> 01:09:24,648
Come on. Come on.
Fetch. Fetch it.
995
01:09:26,382 --> 01:09:29,252
Look at him go. Oh!
996
01:09:31,254 --> 01:09:33,890
- Here, boy!
- Doggy!
997
01:09:33,957 --> 01:09:35,325
Good boy!
998
01:09:39,562 --> 01:09:41,932
It really is
a beautiful car.
Yeah.
999
01:09:41,998 --> 01:09:44,134
I mean,
look at this mahogany.
Gorgeous.
1000
01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:47,337
You just don't see
that anymore, you know?
No.
1001
01:09:47,403 --> 01:09:50,440
I wonder what this is.
Honey, careful.
That's a cigarette lighter.
1002
01:09:50,506 --> 01:09:52,643
No, I don't think
they had those then.
Yes, they did.
1003
01:09:52,709 --> 01:09:55,478
Ow! Oh!
Oh, honey!
Did you burn yourself?
1004
01:09:55,545 --> 01:09:58,815
Yeah. Oh, God!
Oh, I told you.
1005
01:09:58,882 --> 01:10:03,053
Oh, no, no, no. Sorry.
1006
01:10:03,119 --> 01:10:05,689
My husband...
He burned his finger, ma'am.
1007
01:10:05,756 --> 01:10:09,592
- Yeah, he was pulling
and then he was waving...
- Bev, Bev, not helping.
1008
01:10:10,627 --> 01:10:12,663
Hi.
Hi.
1009
01:10:15,131 --> 01:10:18,334
I really like
your dike. Bike.
1010
01:10:19,602 --> 01:10:21,537
It's nice.
1011
01:10:26,710 --> 01:10:30,480
Cut 'em off!
Get in front! Ah!
1012
01:10:30,546 --> 01:10:33,149
Hey!
What are you, nuts?
Get down!
1013
01:10:33,216 --> 01:10:35,261
Kids, stay down!
This thing won't go any faster!
1014
01:10:35,285 --> 01:10:37,788
Stop it!
The headlights!
The headlight!
1015
01:10:37,854 --> 01:10:42,358
Oh, my God!
Are you insane?
This is Hitler's car!
1016
01:10:59,710 --> 01:11:03,847
Honey, go ask them for help.
Tell them everything
that happened.
1017
01:11:03,914 --> 01:11:06,282
And ask them
to call the police.
1018
01:11:06,349 --> 01:11:09,285
And a tow truck.
1019
01:11:52,628 --> 01:11:54,831
Hello.
Hello.
1020
01:11:54,898 --> 01:11:57,433
Are you Harold?
Yes.
1021
01:11:57,500 --> 01:12:00,003
I'm Vicky.
1022
01:12:00,070 --> 01:12:03,073
Are you gonna
invite me in, Harry?
1023
01:12:03,139 --> 01:12:05,308
Or would you rather
party out here
in the hallway?
1024
01:12:05,375 --> 01:12:07,310
Please. Come in.
1025
01:12:11,514 --> 01:12:13,349
Not too shabby.
1026
01:12:14,684 --> 01:12:17,220
Where are you from,
Harry?
From here.
1027
01:12:17,287 --> 01:12:21,024
Las Vegas.
A local boy makes good.
1028
01:12:22,993 --> 01:12:26,797
So, Harry,
what can I do for you?
1029
01:12:26,863 --> 01:12:30,100
Okay. Here's what I want.
1030
01:12:30,166 --> 01:12:33,003
First we both get naked.
1031
01:12:33,069 --> 01:12:37,473
Mmm. So far, so good.
Only we're wearing
sailor hats.
1032
01:12:37,540 --> 01:12:39,742
Mmm.
And then...
1033
01:12:39,810 --> 01:12:43,847
we get into a Jacuzzi...
1034
01:12:43,914 --> 01:12:46,282
f-f-f-filled
with Pepto-Bismol.
1035
01:12:46,349 --> 01:12:47,884
And...
1036
01:12:47,951 --> 01:12:51,554
I clip your toenails,
1037
01:12:51,621 --> 01:12:53,790
and you shave
my buttocks.
1038
01:12:55,191 --> 01:12:57,027
Pardon me?
1039
01:12:57,093 --> 01:13:00,964
Okay, um, naked, um,
Jacuzzi, Pepto-Bismol,
1040
01:13:01,031 --> 01:13:04,000
toenails,
shave my buttocks.
1041
01:13:04,067 --> 01:13:06,036
How much
would that cost?
1042
01:13:06,102 --> 01:13:09,405
Geez, honey,
you have quite an imagination.
1043
01:13:09,472 --> 01:13:11,774
How much would it cost?
1044
01:13:13,776 --> 01:13:16,379
Well, let's see.
1045
01:13:16,446 --> 01:13:19,816
A party like that...
1046
01:13:19,883 --> 01:13:21,852
Three thousand dollars.
1047
01:13:21,918 --> 01:13:25,688
Okay, 3,000.
Who had 3,000?
1048
01:13:25,755 --> 01:13:27,757
Carlton had 2,800.
He's the closest.
1049
01:13:48,244 --> 01:13:51,214
I-I-I think it's okay.
What do you think?
1050
01:13:51,281 --> 01:13:54,184
Wh-Wh-What about
those little holes?
1051
01:13:54,250 --> 01:13:57,487
Are they bite marks?
No, no, no. No, no.
1052
01:13:57,553 --> 01:14:01,591
That's...
That's how it was.
I'm... I'm pretty sure.
1053
01:14:01,657 --> 01:14:03,659
What am I doing?
1054
01:14:03,726 --> 01:14:06,129
I can't go
to El Paso with this.
1055
01:14:06,196 --> 01:14:09,332
Look at it.
It's gonna leak
like a sieve.
1056
01:14:09,399 --> 01:14:14,137
The guy's gonna be alive
for like two minutes
and then, eeeeeee!
1057
01:14:14,204 --> 01:14:16,372
Eeeeeeee!
1058
01:14:19,475 --> 01:14:22,745
A drifter.
A drifter?
1059
01:14:22,812 --> 01:14:26,782
We... We find a drifter,
1060
01:14:26,849 --> 01:14:28,751
kill him,
cut out his heart.
1061
01:14:28,818 --> 01:14:31,487
Nobody's gonna
miss him, right?
I mean, he's a drifter.
1062
01:14:31,554 --> 01:14:33,856
He's an invisible man.
It's a perfect plan.
1063
01:14:33,924 --> 01:14:36,659
Mr. Zack, now you are
giving me the freak-out.
1064
01:14:36,726 --> 01:14:40,931
Where... Where do
I find a drifter?
1065
01:14:46,836 --> 01:14:49,472
Enrico.
Hmm?
1066
01:14:49,539 --> 01:14:53,276
Where did you say
you were from?
Me? I am from Napoli.
1067
01:14:53,343 --> 01:14:57,981
Oh. And-And your family,
they're back there?
1068
01:14:58,048 --> 01:15:01,751
No. No, my papa,
he is dead.
Oh.
1069
01:15:01,817 --> 01:15:06,756
And my mama. All gone.
1070
01:15:06,822 --> 01:15:09,492
Any family? Kids?
1071
01:15:09,559 --> 01:15:11,995
No. No.
1072
01:15:12,062 --> 01:15:16,266
I am completely alone.
1073
01:15:16,332 --> 01:15:18,668
Why, uh...
1074
01:15:18,734 --> 01:15:21,504
Why do you...
1075
01:15:24,207 --> 01:15:27,077
Look, a drifter.
Let's kill him.
1076
01:15:27,143 --> 01:15:29,145
Son of a... Come back here!
1077
01:15:51,467 --> 01:15:54,437
Whatever. Listen, sugar.
You're not going
anywhere today.
1078
01:15:54,504 --> 01:15:56,539
You got a crack
in your radiator.
1079
01:15:56,606 --> 01:15:59,175
That's this big tank
in front of this big engine.
1080
01:15:59,242 --> 01:16:02,345
I know what a radiator is.
Okay, okay. Is there
a place we can rent a car?
1081
01:16:02,412 --> 01:16:04,614
- Albuquerque.
- Okay, look.
1082
01:16:04,680 --> 01:16:06,749
We'll just have
to patch it.
A quick fix.
1083
01:16:06,816 --> 01:16:10,753
- Patch it?
Patch it with what?
- Sand and tire sealant.
1084
01:16:10,820 --> 01:16:14,457
You mix the two together,
it forms an adhesive. It
should last a couple of hours.
1085
01:16:14,524 --> 01:16:16,392
We only have about
30 miles to go?
1086
01:16:16,459 --> 01:16:19,595
Darlin',
we don't have any sand.
1087
01:16:19,662 --> 01:16:23,033
Hello!
We're in the desert!
1088
01:16:28,938 --> 01:16:31,074
We should've
bought a squirrel.
1089
01:16:38,348 --> 01:16:42,452
Mother of mercy!
Where'd you come from?
Car trouble?
1090
01:16:42,518 --> 01:16:46,522
Here. Sit down.
You two look exhausted.
1091
01:16:46,589 --> 01:16:49,525
How long
y'all been out there?
Here. Have something to drink.
1092
01:16:49,592 --> 01:16:52,028
Ladies and gentlemen,
members of the press...
1093
01:16:52,095 --> 01:16:56,399
- What's going on?
- Oh, a bunch of rocket
scientists from L.A.,
1094
01:16:56,466 --> 01:16:59,069
they're trying to break
the land speed record.
1095
01:17:01,937 --> 01:17:05,608
Which is a unique combination
of automotive and aerodynamic
innovation.
1096
01:17:05,675 --> 01:17:07,977
The vehicle, which
we call Lightning II,
1097
01:17:08,044 --> 01:17:09,912
represents three years
of R & D...
1098
01:17:09,979 --> 01:17:13,149
which was conducted
at the California
Institute of Technology.
1099
01:17:13,216 --> 01:17:18,221
The design team was led
by Professor Ken Freedman
and Dr. Richard Kramer.
1100
01:17:18,288 --> 01:17:20,690
We believe
that aerodynamically...
1101
01:17:20,756 --> 01:17:23,526
this is the most perfect
vehicle ever designed.
1102
01:17:23,593 --> 01:17:27,397
The entire vehicle weighs
less than 1,850 pounds.
1103
01:17:27,463 --> 01:17:30,200
The body is a one-piece
Kevlar composite.
1104
01:17:30,266 --> 01:17:32,402
The wheels are
solid billet aluminum,
1105
01:17:32,468 --> 01:17:36,206
and she's powered by twin
JE-79 turbo jet engines,
1106
01:17:36,272 --> 01:17:38,908
the same engines that are
in the F-4 Phantom jet.
1107
01:17:38,974 --> 01:17:40,843
Are there any questions?
1108
01:17:40,910 --> 01:17:43,346
Mr. Calvert,
what is the current
land speed record?
1109
01:17:43,413 --> 01:17:45,515
That would be
742 miles per hour,
1110
01:17:45,581 --> 01:17:48,118
but we hope to have
a new record today.
1111
01:17:48,184 --> 01:17:51,687
- Anyone else?
- How do you start it?
1112
01:17:51,754 --> 01:17:53,823
Ah, good question.
1113
01:17:53,889 --> 01:17:56,335
There's a green lever
to the left of the steering
wheel in the cockpit...
1114
01:17:56,359 --> 01:17:59,395
which engages
the primary thruster,
igniting the JE...
1115
01:18:12,842 --> 01:18:16,746
740, 745... They're gonna
break the sound barrier.
That's a record.
1116
01:18:20,383 --> 01:18:23,586
Well, that's it.
I still don't think
she's gonna hold.
1117
01:18:23,653 --> 01:18:26,789
- What do we owe you?
- Five hundred bucks.
1118
01:18:26,856 --> 01:18:30,260
What?
For what?
For two quarts of sealant?
1119
01:18:30,326 --> 01:18:33,496
No way.
That's 20 bucks tops.
1120
01:18:33,563 --> 01:18:36,266
Okay, here's 40 dollars.
That's double what
it's worth, okay?
1121
01:18:36,332 --> 01:18:38,301
Come on, Nick.
Let's go.
1122
01:18:39,935 --> 01:18:43,173
- Hold it.
- Whoa. Hey, hey, hey.
1123
01:18:43,239 --> 01:18:45,908
Come on.
Another little tool
no mechanic should be without.
1124
01:18:45,975 --> 01:18:48,077
All right. Fine, fine.
1125
01:18:48,144 --> 01:18:51,581
Here's your $500.
But you know what,
Billy Ray?
1126
01:18:51,647 --> 01:18:53,716
What goes around,
comes around.
1127
01:18:53,783 --> 01:18:55,718
This is so unchristian.
1128
01:18:55,785 --> 01:18:58,588
Unchristian?
1129
01:18:58,654 --> 01:19:02,024
Well, if the good Lord
don't like the way
I conduct business,
1130
01:19:02,091 --> 01:19:04,026
let Him say something.
1131
01:19:04,093 --> 01:19:06,095
Let Him give me a sign.
1132
01:19:06,162 --> 01:19:09,965
Oh, Lord, I'm here
and I'm listening!
1133
01:19:10,032 --> 01:19:12,235
Hello!
1134
01:19:13,569 --> 01:19:17,273
Whoa!
1135
01:19:17,340 --> 01:19:21,311
Mach one!
We did it!
We did it!
1136
01:19:24,013 --> 01:19:26,649
Oh! Ohh!
1137
01:19:26,716 --> 01:19:30,353
Hey, everybody okay?
You all right? Yeah?
1138
01:19:30,420 --> 01:19:34,023
Randy, you okay?
There's no Ink, Inc.
1139
01:19:34,089 --> 01:19:37,193
What?
There's no job. No.
1140
01:19:38,861 --> 01:19:40,963
It's a race. We're racing.
1141
01:19:41,030 --> 01:19:43,299
Donald Sinclair put
$2 million in a locker.
1142
01:19:43,366 --> 01:19:46,502
And I wanna get there first.
1143
01:19:46,569 --> 01:19:50,573
I do not want
to work at Home Depot!
1144
01:20:15,197 --> 01:20:16,699
Ah!
1145
01:20:21,537 --> 01:20:23,839
Okay, people,
back on the bus.
1146
01:20:23,906 --> 01:20:25,941
George, don't eat that.
1147
01:20:26,008 --> 01:20:29,412
Get back on the bus!
Come on. Back on the bus.
1148
01:20:29,479 --> 01:20:31,547
Simon, put that down.
1149
01:20:31,614 --> 01:20:35,318
You too.
Back on the bus.
Come on, everyone!
1150
01:20:35,385 --> 01:20:38,721
We don't wanna miss dinner.
It's macaroni night!
1151
01:20:38,788 --> 01:20:41,557
Come on.
1152
01:20:41,624 --> 01:20:43,659
We came in
the rocket car.
1153
01:20:43,726 --> 01:20:48,298
Oh, a rocket car.
Let's hear all
about that on the bus.
1154
01:20:48,364 --> 01:20:50,333
All right,
so we can still win,
1155
01:20:50,400 --> 01:20:53,369
but we have
to leave now, all right?
1156
01:20:53,436 --> 01:20:56,038
So, come on.
Dad.
1157
01:20:56,105 --> 01:20:58,308
It's been a living hell.
1158
01:20:58,374 --> 01:21:02,177
Bev, it's...
It's $2 million.
1159
01:21:02,244 --> 01:21:05,481
That's a lifetime supply
of hummus.
1160
01:21:12,488 --> 01:21:16,091
Okay. Okay. Yeah.
1161
01:21:16,158 --> 01:21:18,961
I've been selfish.
I understand.
1162
01:21:19,028 --> 01:21:22,365
I'm sorry. Really.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1163
01:21:22,432 --> 01:21:26,636
I'm sorry.
I almost got us killed.
1164
01:21:31,140 --> 01:21:33,275
God!
1165
01:21:41,417 --> 01:21:45,020
- Hi, everybody. Miss me?
- Hey!
1166
01:21:45,087 --> 01:21:48,624
Listen. Just to show
there's no hard feelings,
chocolate shakes all around.
1167
01:21:48,691 --> 01:21:51,661
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
1168
01:21:51,727 --> 01:21:54,797
I'm a little disappointed,
but I'm an adult.
1169
01:21:54,864 --> 01:21:57,400
So drink these up, and then
we'll return the Nazi-mobile.
1170
01:21:57,467 --> 01:22:01,203
We'll get that van fixed,
and we'll go back to Vegas
and see David Copperfield!
1171
01:22:01,270 --> 01:22:05,307
Yea! Okay,
drink up, buddy!
1172
01:22:05,375 --> 01:22:07,109
Is it good?
Mm-hmm.
1173
01:22:07,176 --> 01:22:08,978
Drink it up, honey.
1174
01:22:11,647 --> 01:22:15,050
Owen, don't feel bad.
1175
01:22:15,117 --> 01:22:17,787
It's not your fault.
We'll tell the company.
1176
01:22:17,853 --> 01:22:20,289
- We won't let them fire you.
- No.
1177
01:22:20,356 --> 01:22:22,758
I'm no bus driver.
Don't say that.
1178
01:22:22,825 --> 01:22:26,161
No. I'm not.
I'm not a bus driver.
1179
01:22:26,228 --> 01:22:28,931
Oh, you mustn't be
so hard on yourself.
1180
01:22:28,998 --> 01:22:32,468
Hey, everybody,
who's the world's
greatest bus driver?
1181
01:22:32,535 --> 01:22:37,106
Owen! Owen! Owen!
Owen! Owen! Owen!
1182
01:22:37,172 --> 01:22:40,776
Owen! Owen! Owen!
No, no. No, no, no.
Listen. Listen. No, no!
1183
01:22:40,843 --> 01:22:45,014
No! No! Shut up,
you crazy Lucy bitches!
Shut up!
1184
01:22:45,080 --> 01:22:47,182
Owen! Owen. Owe...
1185
01:22:47,249 --> 01:22:49,919
I am not a bus driver!
1186
01:22:49,985 --> 01:22:54,089
I do not work
for the bus company!
All right?
1187
01:22:54,156 --> 01:22:58,861
I needed a ride
to New Mexico,
so I stole this uniform!
1188
01:22:58,928 --> 01:23:02,732
- See this jacket?
This is not my jacket!
- Oh, no!
1189
01:23:02,798 --> 01:23:04,734
Remember Marty,
the bus driver? Huh?
1190
01:23:04,800 --> 01:23:08,971
This is his shirt!
I stole it!
1191
01:23:09,038 --> 01:23:11,507
And these pants,
you think I'd
wear these pants?
1192
01:23:11,574 --> 01:23:13,943
- These aren't my pants!
- Ohh!
1193
01:23:14,009 --> 01:23:16,779
These are Marty's pants.
I stole them.
1194
01:23:19,749 --> 01:23:23,419
I am not... a bus driver.
1195
01:23:25,154 --> 01:23:28,891
You're not
a real bus driver?
1196
01:23:28,958 --> 01:23:31,160
You lied to us!
1197
01:23:31,226 --> 01:23:34,964
- He ruined
our whole vacation!
1198
01:23:43,873 --> 01:23:47,677
Here they come.
They're all within 50 miles.
1199
01:23:47,743 --> 01:23:50,412
It's the final lap.
Mr. Grisham.
1200
01:23:50,480 --> 01:23:53,583
Now, the airport's back
on-line, so I want you
to take the Lear jet,
1201
01:23:53,649 --> 01:23:57,052
scoot on down to Silver City
and give us a play-by-play
from the finish line.
1202
01:23:57,119 --> 01:23:59,021
Yes, sir.
1203
01:23:59,088 --> 01:24:01,023
Yes!
1204
01:24:23,579 --> 01:24:27,550
Let's go back to Vegas.
Oh! Oh!
1205
01:24:27,617 --> 01:24:30,653
Bev, Bev, wake...
Come on. Wake up. Wake up.
1206
01:24:30,720 --> 01:24:33,589
Bev, wake up. Wake up.
Third Reich's here.
Come on.
1207
01:24:33,656 --> 01:24:35,625
Get down. You wanna
have a nice life.
1208
01:24:35,691 --> 01:24:39,128
Okay, okay.
Think. Think.
S.S. in the parking lot.
1209
01:24:39,194 --> 01:24:41,030
Not good.
Not good. Think.
1210
01:24:43,599 --> 01:24:45,801
Hi, honey.
1211
01:24:45,868 --> 01:24:48,838
- They gonna
be all right?
- Yeah.
1212
01:24:48,904 --> 01:24:52,575
- Friend, uh, I don't think there's room.
- No.
1213
01:24:54,209 --> 01:24:56,045
This one's little.
1214
01:24:57,913 --> 01:25:01,016
- There it is. There it is!
- Silver City.
We're almost there.
1215
01:25:01,083 --> 01:25:03,519
Yeah! Go!
1216
01:25:13,796 --> 01:25:17,633
* I believe in miracles *
1217
01:25:17,700 --> 01:25:20,269
* Where you from *
1218
01:25:20,335 --> 01:25:23,172
* You sexy thing *
* Sexy thing, you *
1219
01:25:23,238 --> 01:25:26,642
* I believe in miracles *
1220
01:25:26,709 --> 01:25:28,510
* Since you came along *
1221
01:25:28,578 --> 01:25:30,713
* You sexy thing *
1222
01:25:41,523 --> 01:25:46,061
* Where did you
come from, baby *
1223
01:25:46,128 --> 01:25:50,633
* How did you know
I needed you *
1224
01:25:50,700 --> 01:25:55,170
* How did you know
I needed you so badly *
1225
01:25:55,237 --> 01:25:59,541
* How did you know
I'd give my heart gladly *
1226
01:26:06,215 --> 01:26:08,050
* Ahhhh *
1227
01:26:08,117 --> 01:26:11,687
* It's ecstasy *
* You sexy thing *
1228
01:26:13,088 --> 01:26:16,892
* Sexy, baby *
* You sexy thing **
1229
01:26:16,959 --> 01:26:20,429
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
1230
01:26:31,506 --> 01:26:33,676
Where the fuck are we?
1231
01:27:39,174 --> 01:27:42,577
There were two guys
in there.
1232
01:27:42,644 --> 01:27:44,613
Where'd they go?
Hey!
1233
01:27:44,680 --> 01:27:47,683
Thanks for the truck,
buddy!
1234
01:28:20,682 --> 01:28:22,752
Ohhh.
1235
01:28:46,175 --> 01:28:48,077
Ohh.
1236
01:28:49,678 --> 01:28:51,847
- Yeah.
- Silver City.
1237
01:28:51,914 --> 01:28:54,016
Next stop, Silver City.
1238
01:28:54,083 --> 01:28:57,552
Silver City?
It is the finish line.
1239
01:28:57,619 --> 01:29:00,923
I made it. I made it!
1240
01:29:02,858 --> 01:29:07,029
The key.
Where is the key?
1241
01:29:09,899 --> 01:29:13,168
What have we...
Where is the key,
my little baby?
1242
01:29:13,235 --> 01:29:16,271
- Excuse me.
- I think I am
touching it.
1243
01:29:16,338 --> 01:29:20,309
Get away from him.
I can feel it. I can feel it.
It's very small.
1244
01:29:20,375 --> 01:29:24,814
I'm calling the conductor!
I have it! I got it!
1245
01:29:24,880 --> 01:29:28,150
Wait! Wait!
Come back! Don't leave me!
1246
01:29:32,855 --> 01:29:35,991
Come on!
Come on, baby!
1247
01:29:37,559 --> 01:29:39,294
Giddyap!
1248
01:29:43,432 --> 01:29:47,369
Come on, baby.
Just one more mile.
1249
01:29:47,436 --> 01:29:49,872
Just one mile.
Come on!
1250
01:29:51,073 --> 01:29:52,975
Randy?
1251
01:29:54,143 --> 01:29:56,145
Hey, honey,
how'd you sleep?
1252
01:30:01,416 --> 01:30:02,852
Ah!
1253
01:30:04,119 --> 01:30:07,256
- Pass. Pass him.
- I can't. We're too big.
1254
01:30:07,322 --> 01:30:11,393
There's Silver City.
We're here. Move!
1255
01:30:13,362 --> 01:30:15,998
They stopped.
No.
1256
01:30:16,065 --> 01:30:20,502
They're moving. Look.
1257
01:30:30,012 --> 01:30:33,815
Come on, Dad!
Let's go!
1258
01:30:33,883 --> 01:30:35,885
I can smell it.
1259
01:30:35,951 --> 01:30:39,989
* Daisy, daisy *
1260
01:30:40,055 --> 01:30:43,492
* Give me
your answer true *
1261
01:30:43,558 --> 01:30:47,429
* Daisy, daisy **
1262
01:30:54,904 --> 01:30:57,873
Hey! Hey!
Stop the bus! Stop the bus!
1263
01:30:57,940 --> 01:31:02,477
- We gotta get off!
- Whoa. Ladies, ladies, ladies.
You know the rules.
1264
01:31:02,544 --> 01:31:04,579
We're not crazy, lady.
1265
01:31:04,646 --> 01:31:06,624
We should've
bought a squirrel.
We didn't buy a squirrel.
1266
01:31:06,648 --> 01:31:09,284
- Which is why
we stole the rocket car.
- We can still win.
1267
01:31:09,351 --> 01:31:12,671
If you don't tell that driver
to open the door, I'm gonna
crush you like a cockroach.
1268
01:31:12,721 --> 01:31:15,057
Open the door!
Tell him! Tell him!
1269
01:31:15,124 --> 01:31:17,159
Open the door.
Thank you!
1270
01:31:40,249 --> 01:31:45,254
I-I-I-I-I-I...
1271
01:31:45,320 --> 01:31:47,189
It's Pollini.
1272
01:31:47,256 --> 01:31:49,591
Enrico Pollini
on a train.
1273
01:31:49,658 --> 01:31:53,762
- He just rolled
into the station.
- Well, what do you know?
1274
01:31:53,828 --> 01:31:55,830
Rip Van Winkle
pulled it off.
1275
01:31:55,897 --> 01:31:58,000
You gotta love a long shot.
1276
01:32:22,524 --> 01:32:25,394
It's here. It's here.
1277
01:32:25,460 --> 01:32:27,896
- It's here.
- Here he comes.
1278
01:32:27,963 --> 01:32:30,799
It's you.
He's holding the key.
1279
01:32:30,865 --> 01:32:32,901
Ah.
1280
01:32:32,968 --> 01:32:35,237
And he's going
to the locker.
1281
01:32:36,805 --> 01:32:40,475
Mr. Pollini,
well done, sir.
And congratulations.
1282
01:32:40,542 --> 01:32:43,678
On behalf
of Mr. Donald Sinclair,
the Venetian Hotel and Casino...
1283
01:32:49,884 --> 01:32:52,988
Mr. Grisham,
is it over?
1284
01:32:59,761 --> 01:33:01,563
Get out of the way!
Open it!
1285
01:33:09,071 --> 01:33:11,073
He's sleeping.
1286
01:33:31,026 --> 01:33:34,096
Did I win?
1287
01:33:34,163 --> 01:33:36,331
Vicky. You let go
of this bag,
1288
01:33:36,398 --> 01:33:39,934
or I swear to God,
I'll report you
to the escort service.
1289
01:33:40,001 --> 01:33:42,504
Uh, Mr. Grisham,
what's going on?
1290
01:33:42,571 --> 01:33:46,308
The hooker... The hooker...
The hooker is taking the money.
1291
01:33:46,375 --> 01:33:50,212
What hooker?
Vicky.
From the hotel.
1292
01:33:50,279 --> 01:33:53,815
Pepto-Bismol?
Vicky, I told you
to wait in the car.
1293
01:33:53,882 --> 01:33:56,551
What the hell
is she doing there?
I brought her.
1294
01:33:56,618 --> 01:34:00,355
I'm sorry, Mr. Sinclair.
She said she liked me.
1295
01:34:00,422 --> 01:34:03,892
I'm beginning to think
she was only interested
in the money!
1296
01:34:08,463 --> 01:34:11,066
Come with me.
I'll drive.
1297
01:34:24,413 --> 01:34:28,383
So long, suckers!
Whoo!
1298
01:34:34,589 --> 01:34:37,559
The bus! The bus.
You wanna steal a bus?
1299
01:34:37,626 --> 01:34:41,062
Yes, I do.
My God,
what have I done?
1300
01:34:41,130 --> 01:34:43,932
Help! Somebody help me!
1301
01:34:46,868 --> 01:34:49,704
- Aah!
- This thing's got
a mind of its own.
1302
01:34:56,278 --> 01:34:58,813
- Finders keepers, pal.
- That's mine.
1303
01:34:58,880 --> 01:35:01,150
I see it!
I see it! Relax!
1304
01:35:04,186 --> 01:35:08,056
Oh, no! Oh!
1305
01:35:14,062 --> 01:35:16,231
It means it's a scratch.
Nobody wins.
1306
01:35:16,298 --> 01:35:20,034
Bullshit. I'll tell you
what it means. It means
we're going into extra innings.
1307
01:35:20,101 --> 01:35:23,238
Carla, call the airport.
Tell them to get
my other Lear ready.
1308
01:35:23,305 --> 01:35:26,417
Gordon, you stay here
and keep your eye on the board.
Tell us where they're going.
1309
01:35:26,441 --> 01:35:30,379
Gentlemen, grab your drinks.
We're going to Silver City.
1310
01:35:40,689 --> 01:35:42,624
Is that it?
That's it.
1311
01:35:42,691 --> 01:35:45,093
Thank the pilot.
Tell him to level off.
1312
01:35:45,160 --> 01:35:48,197
All right,
who had Mr. Kimiche?
1313
01:35:48,263 --> 01:35:50,532
- It was me.
- Well done!
1314
01:35:50,599 --> 01:35:53,602
Congratulations.
Very good.
1315
01:35:56,638 --> 01:35:58,607
Keep going!
1316
01:35:58,673 --> 01:36:01,643
Come on!
1317
01:36:01,710 --> 01:36:04,346
There it is.
It's coming down
right there.
1318
01:36:20,662 --> 01:36:22,731
Where is it?
There it is.
1319
01:36:22,797 --> 01:36:24,666
Get it!
1320
01:36:27,569 --> 01:36:31,039
Get it! Get it!
Grab that money!
1321
01:36:31,105 --> 01:36:33,208
Get it down!
1322
01:36:39,147 --> 01:36:41,916
**
1323
01:36:50,992 --> 01:36:53,295
- Now, that is one hell of an entrance.
- Whoa!
1324
01:36:53,362 --> 01:36:55,230
It's Smash Mouth!
1325
01:36:55,297 --> 01:36:57,866
What's going on over here?
1326
01:36:59,133 --> 01:37:01,169
What's this?
Money.
1327
01:37:01,236 --> 01:37:03,372
Jesus,
how much is this?
1328
01:37:03,438 --> 01:37:05,740
Two million dollars.
Two...
1329
01:37:05,807 --> 01:37:09,911
Two million...
Two million dollars,
everybody!
1330
01:37:12,314 --> 01:37:14,516
Two million dollars!
1331
01:37:14,583 --> 01:37:17,486
On the bus,
we talked about it,
1332
01:37:17,552 --> 01:37:21,490
and we decide
to share all the money.
1333
01:37:21,556 --> 01:37:24,659
They're gonna share
all the money, everybody!
1334
01:37:24,726 --> 01:37:27,496
Oh, man!
1335
01:37:27,562 --> 01:37:30,265
Yeah, let's get
these guys some jackets.
1336
01:37:30,332 --> 01:37:32,667
Get these jack...
Get these jackets
over here.
1337
01:37:34,269 --> 01:37:37,606
So what's the story, man?
Are you guys some kind
of organization?
1338
01:37:37,672 --> 01:37:41,476
What's going on?
No, no. We just met
this morning.
1339
01:37:41,543 --> 01:37:44,613
They just met
this morning, everybody!
1340
01:37:44,679 --> 01:37:46,047
Oh, my God!
1341
01:37:46,114 --> 01:37:49,217
I almost didn't come along,
but then I met Tracy and...
1342
01:37:49,284 --> 01:37:51,420
Well, great things
happen all at once.
1343
01:37:51,486 --> 01:37:54,756
Oh, this is
beautiful, baby.
This is beautiful. Oh!
1344
01:37:54,823 --> 01:37:57,326
Great things happen,
I don't know.
1345
01:37:58,360 --> 01:38:00,261
Feed the earth, baby.
Feed the earth.
1346
01:38:00,329 --> 01:38:04,466
We're gonna check
the tote board right now
and see where we're at. Okay?
1347
01:38:04,533 --> 01:38:07,902
Come on, baby.
Let it roll.
Come on, baby.
1348
01:38:13,875 --> 01:38:15,677
No! No!
1349
01:38:15,744 --> 01:38:18,913
- No, no, no!
- You don't understand.
1350
01:38:24,319 --> 01:38:29,090
Excuse me.
We work for Feed the Earth.
1351
01:38:29,157 --> 01:38:32,561
And these are some
of our children.
1352
01:38:34,929 --> 01:38:40,001
I don't know
who you people are
or where you came from,
1353
01:38:40,068 --> 01:38:43,372
but... God bless you.
1354
01:38:44,639 --> 01:38:46,408
Tonight,
1355
01:38:46,475 --> 01:38:49,043
you've given
to these kids...
1356
01:38:49,110 --> 01:38:54,282
and their brothers and sisters
all over the world
more than money.
1357
01:38:54,349 --> 01:38:58,186
You've given them back
their faith,
1358
01:38:58,252 --> 01:39:00,455
their faith
in the goodness of people.
1359
01:39:08,029 --> 01:39:13,435
She said, "You are just
like the 12 disciples."
1360
01:39:15,069 --> 01:39:16,671
Aw!
1361
01:39:20,074 --> 01:39:22,677
Aw!
1362
01:39:22,744 --> 01:39:24,413
Thank you.
1363
01:40:12,260 --> 01:40:14,195
Forget it.
1364
01:40:14,262 --> 01:40:17,074
Look, all these other disciples
can do whatever they want
with their share.
1365
01:40:17,098 --> 01:40:19,233
- But this money is going home with us.
- What?
1366
01:40:19,300 --> 01:40:22,704
Period. End of story.
Put the money
in the bag, carrot.
1367
01:40:26,475 --> 01:40:30,211
You don't
know me, man.
1368
01:40:30,278 --> 01:40:32,113
Come here.
1369
01:40:34,483 --> 01:40:36,585
It's you.
1370
01:40:37,819 --> 01:40:40,655
I'm so proud of you.
1371
01:40:40,722 --> 01:40:43,825
Giving away
all of your money?
1372
01:40:45,994 --> 01:40:49,698
Whoo! Whoo!
1373
01:40:52,066 --> 01:40:54,836
Whoo!
1374
01:40:54,903 --> 01:40:56,805
Come on.
1375
01:40:58,773 --> 01:41:02,210
Duane.
No. No. No.
1376
01:41:05,547 --> 01:41:08,750
Mama is watching us
from heaven right now.
1377
01:41:11,252 --> 01:41:13,187
And what would she do?
1378
01:41:17,025 --> 01:41:20,829
It's for starving
children, Duane.
1379
01:41:23,097 --> 01:41:24,933
Do it for Mom.
1380
01:41:38,112 --> 01:41:41,115
Yeah! Whoo!
Whoo!
1381
01:41:46,621 --> 01:41:49,423
Whoo! Yeah!
1382
01:41:49,490 --> 01:41:51,325
Excuse me,
ladies and gentlemen.
1383
01:41:51,392 --> 01:41:54,563
Um, I'd like to introduce
the real star
of tonight's show.
1384
01:41:54,629 --> 01:41:58,633
I can honestly say that none
of us would be here tonight
if it wasn't for this man.
1385
01:41:58,700 --> 01:42:02,203
He is the man
with the plan,
Mr. Donald Sinclair!
1386
01:42:02,270 --> 01:42:04,005
What?
1387
01:42:04,072 --> 01:42:06,941
One of the wealthiest
men in the world!
1388
01:42:08,409 --> 01:42:11,512
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Donald Sinclair!
You are the man.
1389
01:42:11,580 --> 01:42:14,482
Put the camera on him.
There you go. Nice shot.
There he is.
1390
01:42:14,549 --> 01:42:16,651
Hi. Hello.
1391
01:42:16,718 --> 01:42:19,888
These men, they didn't
have to be here tonight.
1392
01:42:19,954 --> 01:42:22,323
No, they could be off
kicking back in the Riviera...
1393
01:42:22,390 --> 01:42:26,027
or in Vegas blowing
their money on some
meaningless idiotic bet.
1394
01:42:26,094 --> 01:42:27,696
Ha, ha, ha.
1395
01:42:27,762 --> 01:42:29,831
They couldn't do that,
1396
01:42:29,898 --> 01:42:32,366
not when there were children
going to bed hungry
every night.
1397
01:42:32,433 --> 01:42:35,203
Isn't that right,
fellas?
1398
01:42:35,269 --> 01:42:37,138
Whatever.
1399
01:42:37,205 --> 01:42:39,974
Mr. Donald Sinclair
and his partners...
1400
01:42:40,041 --> 01:42:43,177
want you and the millions
of people watching at home...
1401
01:42:43,244 --> 01:42:46,314
to know they plan
to match whatever
you raise tonight...
1402
01:42:46,380 --> 01:42:48,449
dollar for dollar!
Aah!
1403
01:42:48,516 --> 01:42:50,118
Dollar for dollar!
Dollar for dollar!
1404
01:42:52,687 --> 01:42:55,123
A matching fund, everybody!
1405
01:42:55,189 --> 01:42:57,692
Let's hit the phones
out there and crank it up...
1406
01:42:57,759 --> 01:43:00,629
because we're gonna feed
the whole world tonight!
1407
01:43:01,863 --> 01:43:04,398
* Somebody once told me *
1408
01:43:04,465 --> 01:43:06,901
* The world
is gonna roll me *
1409
01:43:06,968 --> 01:43:10,805
* I ain't the sharpest
tool in the shed *
1410
01:43:10,872 --> 01:43:13,141
* And she was lookin'
kind of dumb *
1411
01:43:13,207 --> 01:43:15,343
* With a finger
and a thumb *
1412
01:43:15,409 --> 01:43:20,114
- * In the shape of an "L"
on her forehead *
1413
01:43:20,181 --> 01:43:23,117
* Well, the years start comin'
and they don't stop comin' *
1414
01:43:23,184 --> 01:43:25,319
* Fed to the rules and
I hit the ground runnin' *
1415
01:43:25,386 --> 01:43:27,421
* Didn't make sense
not to live for fun *
1416
01:43:27,488 --> 01:43:29,958
* Your brain gets smart
but your head gets dumb *
1417
01:43:30,024 --> 01:43:31,459
* So much to do
So much to see *
1418
01:43:31,525 --> 01:43:34,195
* So what's wrong with
takin' the back streets *
1419
01:43:34,262 --> 01:43:36,197
* You'll never know
if you don't go *
1420
01:43:36,264 --> 01:43:38,432
* You'll never shine
if you don't glow *
1421
01:43:38,499 --> 01:43:43,271
* Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play *
1422
01:43:43,337 --> 01:43:48,076
* Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid *
1423
01:43:48,142 --> 01:43:51,112
* All that glitters
is gold *
1424
01:43:51,179 --> 01:43:55,216
* Only shooting stars
break the mold *
1425
01:43:56,885 --> 01:43:58,495
* It's a cool place and
they say it gets colder *
1426
01:43:58,519 --> 01:44:00,989
* You're bundled up now
Wait till you get older *
1427
01:44:01,055 --> 01:44:02,991
* But the meteor men
beg to differ *
1428
01:44:03,057 --> 01:44:04,902
* Judgin' by the hole
in the satellite picture *
1429
01:44:04,926 --> 01:44:07,061
* The ice we skate
is gettin' pretty thin *
1430
01:44:07,128 --> 01:44:09,597
* The water's gettin' warm
so you might as well swim *
1431
01:44:09,664 --> 01:44:11,933
* My world's on fire
How about yours *
1432
01:44:12,000 --> 01:44:14,936
* That's the way I like it
and I'll never get bored *
1433
01:44:15,003 --> 01:44:18,973
* Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play *
1434
01:44:19,040 --> 01:44:23,144
* Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid *
1435
01:44:23,211 --> 01:44:26,647
* All that glitters is gold *
1436
01:44:26,715 --> 01:44:32,320
* Only shooting stars
break the mold *
1437
01:44:35,623 --> 01:44:37,992
* Go for the moon *
1438
01:44:39,027 --> 01:44:42,196
* Go for the moon *
1439
01:44:43,898 --> 01:44:46,634
* Go for the moon *
1440
01:44:46,701 --> 01:44:50,271
* Oh, yeah, go for the moon *
1441
01:44:50,338 --> 01:44:53,742
* Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play *
1442
01:44:53,808 --> 01:44:58,446
* Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid *
1443
01:44:58,512 --> 01:45:01,750
* All that glitters is gold *
1444
01:45:01,816 --> 01:45:04,652
* Only shooting stars *
1445
01:45:04,719 --> 01:45:09,390
* Somebody once asked could
I spare some change for gas *
1446
01:45:09,457 --> 01:45:13,494
* I need to get myself
away from this place *
1447
01:45:13,561 --> 01:45:15,096
* I said yep, what a concept *
1448
01:45:15,163 --> 01:45:17,698
* I could use
a little fuel myself *
1449
01:45:17,766 --> 01:45:22,403
* And we all could use
a little change *
1450
01:45:22,470 --> 01:45:25,173
* Well, the years start comin'
and they don't stop comin' *
1451
01:45:25,239 --> 01:45:26,516
* Fed to the rules and
I hit the ground runnin' *
1452
01:45:26,540 --> 01:45:29,077
* Didn't make sense
not to live for fun *
1453
01:45:29,143 --> 01:45:31,245
* Your brain gets smart
but your head gets dumb *
1454
01:45:31,312 --> 01:45:33,347
* So much to do
So much to see *
1455
01:45:33,414 --> 01:45:35,683
* So what's wrong with
takin' the back streets *
1456
01:45:35,750 --> 01:45:37,127
* You'll never know
if you don't go *
1457
01:45:37,151 --> 01:45:39,720
* You'll never shine
if you don't glow *
1458
01:45:39,788 --> 01:45:43,557
* Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play *
1459
01:45:43,624 --> 01:45:48,629
* Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid *
1460
01:45:48,696 --> 01:45:51,465
* All that glitters is gold *
1461
01:45:51,532 --> 01:45:56,805
* Only shooting stars
break the mold *
1462
01:45:56,871 --> 01:46:00,374
* All that glitters is gold *
1463
01:46:00,441 --> 01:46:07,348
* Only shooting stars
break the mold **
1464
01:46:08,817 --> 01:46:10,852
Thank you. Good night!
1465
01:46:26,534 --> 01:46:29,370
* Well, I wake up in the morning
each and every day *
1466
01:46:31,472 --> 01:46:34,275
* And I sit down at the table
and I hear my daddy say *
1467
01:46:36,310 --> 01:46:38,813
* Life is nothing
It's a nothing *
1468
01:46:38,880 --> 01:46:41,282
* Life is nothing
but a slap in the face *
1469
01:46:41,349 --> 01:46:43,818
* Life is nothing
It's a nothing *
1470
01:46:43,885 --> 01:46:46,087
* Life is nothing
but a fat rat race *
1471
01:46:46,154 --> 01:46:48,556
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1472
01:46:48,622 --> 01:46:50,959
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1473
01:46:51,025 --> 01:46:53,494
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1474
01:46:53,561 --> 01:46:56,497
* Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah *
1475
01:46:56,564 --> 01:46:59,333
* Have you ever had a dream that
you're taking off your dress *
1476
01:47:01,502 --> 01:47:04,405
* The only thing you're wearing
is a button on your chest *
1477
01:47:06,274 --> 01:47:08,843
* And the button
it says nothing *
1478
01:47:08,910 --> 01:47:11,179
* Life is nothing
but a slap in the face *
1479
01:47:11,245 --> 01:47:13,882
* Life is nothing
It's a nothing *
1480
01:47:13,948 --> 01:47:16,084
* Life is nothing
but a fat rat race *
1481
01:47:16,150 --> 01:47:20,922
* What is life *
1482
01:47:20,989 --> 01:47:23,892
* What is life *
1483
01:47:23,958 --> 01:47:26,327
* A rat race *
* A rat race *
1484
01:47:26,394 --> 01:47:31,065
* What is life *
1485
01:47:31,132 --> 01:47:33,801
* What is life *
1486
01:47:33,868 --> 01:47:35,269
* A rat race *
1487
01:47:35,336 --> 01:47:37,906
* A rat race *
* A rat race *
1488
01:47:37,972 --> 01:47:41,009
* A rat-rat race *
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1489
01:47:41,075 --> 01:47:43,377
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1490
01:47:43,444 --> 01:47:46,514
* Ooh, yeah, yeah
Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1491
01:47:46,580 --> 01:47:49,550
* It's a jungle out there
and I know I don't belong *
1492
01:47:51,385 --> 01:47:54,622
* So all night long
I just sing my stupid song *
1493
01:47:56,624 --> 01:47:59,060
* Get a body out
in the rat, in the race *
1494
01:47:59,127 --> 01:48:01,795
* Get a body out
in the rat, in the race *
1495
01:48:01,862 --> 01:48:04,065
* Get a body out in the rat *
1496
01:48:04,132 --> 01:48:08,102
**
1497
01:48:08,169 --> 01:48:11,505
* To the sound of the storm
comin' strictly from
the B-A-H-A M-E-N *
1498
01:48:11,572 --> 01:48:13,641
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1499
01:48:13,707 --> 01:48:15,944
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1500
01:48:16,010 --> 01:48:18,579
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1501
01:48:18,646 --> 01:48:21,082
* Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah *
1502
01:48:21,149 --> 01:48:24,318
**
1503
01:48:24,385 --> 01:48:26,620
* Life ain't nothin'
but a big rat race *
1504
01:48:26,687 --> 01:48:29,357
**
1505
01:48:29,423 --> 01:48:31,325
* Life ain't nothin'
but a big rat race *
1506
01:48:31,392 --> 01:48:33,995
* Life is nothing
It's a nothing *
1507
01:48:34,062 --> 01:48:36,297
* Life is nothing
but a slap in the face *
1508
01:48:36,364 --> 01:48:38,899
* Life is nothing
It's a nothing *
1509
01:48:38,967 --> 01:48:41,069
* Life is nothing
but a fat rat race *
1510
01:48:41,135 --> 01:48:45,906
* What is life *
1511
01:48:45,974 --> 01:48:48,842
* What is life *
1512
01:48:48,909 --> 01:48:51,112
* A rat race *
* A rat race *
1513
01:48:51,179 --> 01:48:56,150
* What is life *
1514
01:48:56,217 --> 01:48:59,653
* What is life *
* A rat race *
1515
01:48:59,720 --> 01:49:02,656
* A rat... a rat race *
* A rat race *
1516
01:49:02,723 --> 01:49:05,960
* A rat-rat *
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1517
01:49:06,027 --> 01:49:08,362
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1518
01:49:08,429 --> 01:49:13,701
* Ooh, yeah, yeah
Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah *
1519
01:49:13,767 --> 01:49:16,270
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1520
01:49:16,337 --> 01:49:19,040
* Get a body out
in the rat, in the race *
1521
01:49:19,107 --> 01:49:21,542
* Get a body out
in the rat, in the race *
1522
01:49:21,609 --> 01:49:24,412
* Get a body out
in the rat, in the race *
1523
01:49:24,478 --> 01:49:27,048
**
1524
01:49:27,115 --> 01:49:29,117
* Get a body out
in the rat, in the race *
1525
01:49:29,183 --> 01:49:33,521
* Ooh, yeah, yeah
Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1526
01:49:33,587 --> 01:49:35,990
* Ooh, yeah, yeah *
1527
01:49:36,057 --> 01:49:38,892
* Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah *
1528
01:49:38,959 --> 01:49:40,961
* Ooh, yeah, yeah **
1529
01:49:41,691 --> 01:49:47,553
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