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1
00:00:02,219 --> 00:00:03,739
Chase: I told you
I'd take you camping.
2
00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:05,219
I never said it'd be outside.
3
00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:06,829
[Laughter]
4
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:09,099
I actually prefer it like this.
5
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:12,973
Besides, I love these days
when we have nothing to do.
6
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:14,486
Well, I can think of somethin'.
7
00:00:14,579 --> 00:00:15,889
[Laughter]
8
00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:18,022
[Chuckles] Mmm. I
like your somethin'.
9
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,105
[Chase chuckles]
10
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,198
[Knock on door]
11
00:00:23,588 --> 00:00:25,158
Morning, campers!
12
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:26,242
[Laughter]
13
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:30,202
So, what are we all doing today?
14
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:34,381
- Well, we already have plans.
- Oh! Can I join you?
15
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:35,469
[Laughter]
16
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,651
Not with these plans.
17
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,690
Let's not be too hasty, Mona.
18
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,520
[Laughter]
19
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:44,648
Leave, Dee Dee.
20
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:45,780
[Laughter]
21
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:47,001
[Introductory theme song]
22
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:53,356
♪ through this
journey of discovery ♪
23
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:58,014
♪ you finding you
I'm finding me ♪
24
00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:01,501
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
25
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,153
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
26
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:05,017
♪ brings out the
joy inside of me ♪
27
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:07,588
♪ inside of me ♪
28
00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:09,846
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
29
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:12,549
♪ all we need is lovin' ♪
30
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:15,637
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
31
00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:17,337
♪ you and me ♪
32
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:20,465
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
33
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,298
[Ironic laughter]
34
00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:24,868
[Introductory musical note]
35
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,568
Look at all this
useless baby stuff.
36
00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:32,735
In my day, all you needed
was a boob to feed 'em
37
00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:35,621
- and a drawer to stick 'em in.
- [Laughter]
38
00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:37,534
I told you we shouldn't
have brought her.
39
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,929
This is the woman who used
her key ring as my pacifier.
40
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:41,012
[Laughter]
41
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:44,451
Mona and I need to make
sure we get the perfect baby gift
42
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:45,709
for Neil and Janet.
43
00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:47,281
After what we did
at their wedding.
44
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,368
Well, considering
you made the bride cry
45
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:51,107
and run screaming
from the chapel,
46
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,648
I'm just glad we're
invited to the shower.
47
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:53,897
[Laughter]
48
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:56,463
Oh! Look at this. A
baby-wipes warmer.
49
00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:59,381
A what? Now we got
to warm up their butts?
50
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,397
In my day, a baby had a
cold butt and dealt with it.
51
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:02,985
[Laughter]
52
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:04,389
I remember only too well.
53
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,174
Babies don't care about
any of this expensive crap.
54
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:10,698
I'm gonna go to the car
wash and get me a key ring.
55
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,312
[Laughter]
56
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,613
Hey, what about this?
57
00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:17,924
Good choice. I can't
wait to watch the baby
58
00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:19,747
choke on her goggly eyeballs.
59
00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:23,269
Jeez. Take it easy. What
do I know about babies?
60
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,800
Clearly nothing.
61
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,063
Mona, babies are
totally helpless creatures.
62
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,447
They spend most of their
time eating and sleeping.
63
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,330
Kind of like you
before you met chase.
64
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:33,112
[Laughter]
65
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,066
Yeah. You know,
usually that would sting,
66
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,455
but I got a man and you don't.
67
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:37,547
[Laughter]
68
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,157
Neil? Janet?
69
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,597
- Oh, hi, you two.
- Dee Dee. Mona.
70
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:45,564
We were just shopping
for your baby shower.
71
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,343
Actually, it might not happen.
72
00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:48,688
What? Why?
73
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:50,557
My friend Francine
was hosting it,
74
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,558
but she had a family emergency.
75
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,960
If you call her sister's
nose job an emergency.
76
00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:56,574
[Laughter]
77
00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,484
I've seen her nose. It is.
78
00:02:58,569 --> 00:02:59,959
[Laughter]
79
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,659
Anyway, we can't
have it at our house
80
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,396
because we're in the
middle of renovating.
81
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:06,317
So we're thinking
of calling it off.
82
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,933
No reason to. We'll
have it at my place.
83
00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:11,194
Oh, Dee Dee, that's so sweet.
84
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:12,318
No.
85
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:14,149
[Laughter]
86
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:16,517
Janet, this is your first baby.
You have to have a shower.
87
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:19,074
And I love throwing parties.
88
00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:20,715
Actually, that sounds...
89
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:23,509
Like something Janet
and I need to discuss.
90
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:25,124
- Excuse us.
- [Laughter]
91
00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:27,952
[Both arguing]
92
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,600
[Laughter]
93
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,692
Janet talked me into it.
94
00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:34,948
[Laughter]
95
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:39,036
[Introductory musical note]
96
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:43,662
Mona, your side
is crooked again.
97
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:44,915
Then you do it.
98
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:46,877
I'll blow up some more balloons.
99
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:49,355
So, you can tie them
wrong again? I don't think so.
100
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,136
[Laughter]
101
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,101
How about if I put
some chips in a bowl?
102
00:03:53,189 --> 00:03:54,779
I think I have the
skill and intelligence
103
00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:57,019
- to handle that.
- Hmm. I'll do it.
104
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,186
[Laughter]
105
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,365
Hey. That's a playpen.
106
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:04,028
Babies go in playpens. Are
there gonna be babies here?
107
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,853
[Laughter]
108
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,641
Yeah. It's a coed shower,
109
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,305
and some of the guests
are bringing their kids.
110
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,546
No big deal.
111
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,211
It is if you're not
good with kids
112
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,985
and your boyfriend
is here to see it.
113
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:15,429
We're back with the cake!
114
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:17,036
I made it this far
without dropping it.
115
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,126
- Please take it from me.
- No, no, no!
116
00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:20,955
Hey, the place looks great.
117
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,963
Except that side looks crooked.
118
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:23,915
[Laughter]
119
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,132
Who asked ya?
120
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,786
Ok. Decorations,
check. Cake, check.
121
00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:30,047
Shower games, check.
122
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:32,399
Non-alcoholic baby-tinis, check.
123
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:34,399
Alcoholic Mona-tinis.
Please, god, please.
124
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,101
[Laughter]
125
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,408
Yes, there is alcohol available
126
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,495
if you feel the need
to drink at a party
127
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,244
celebrating the magic of life.
128
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,195
[Laughter]
129
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,684
Yeah, Mona. This
is a joyous occasion.
130
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:49,204
[Whispering] Ok, here's
how we ditch this baby party.
131
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,219
We leave to take out the
trash and never come back.
132
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,507
You with me?
133
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,986
Uh, actually, I was
gonna stick around.
134
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,687
Never been to a
baby shower before.
135
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,344
Besides,
136
00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,598
I wanna spend as much
time with my baby as possible.
137
00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:03,521
[Mona chuckles]
Aww! That's so sweet.
138
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:04,607
Yeah, whatever!
139
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,035
[Laughter]
140
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:07,701
[Scoffs] Unlike you,
141
00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,605
I don't have a woman
breathing down my neck.
142
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:10,980
Spencer, get your
butt over here!
143
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:12,876
- Yes, ma'am.
- [Laughter]
144
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,364
[Introductory musical note]
145
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,190
[Guests talking]
146
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,764
I love the baby artichokes.
147
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,542
The baby lamb
chops are to die for.
148
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,276
Well, I'm glad you like them.
149
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:25,867
Don't eat anymore!
They're for the guests!
150
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:26,890
[Laughter]
151
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,680
[Whispering] Oh, my.
152
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:32,034
Isn't that the Janet who
stole your rich boyfriend?
153
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,864
Mom, I broke up with him.
154
00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:37,123
Just as well. Obviously,
he's a chubby chaser.
155
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,816
[Laughter]
156
00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:39,993
Big Dee Dee,
157
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:41,598
Janet is eight months pregnant.
158
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:42,879
Do you even know
why you're here?
159
00:05:42,907 --> 00:05:44,337
Yes, for the drinks.
160
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,741
[Laughter]
161
00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:49,129
Mona, did you notice?
162
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,568
I'm the only unattached
woman at this party?
163
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:53,135
Oh, I've been there.
164
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:55,532
Do you feel left out,
inadequate, worthless?
165
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,306
You know, Mona,
cheering people up?
166
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,230
Right up there with
your decorating skills.
167
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,355
[Laughter]
168
00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,206
Hey, Mona, I need
to use the bathroom.
169
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,382
Would you mind holding my baby?
170
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:06,497
- Huh?
- It'll just be a minute.
171
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,763
Oh. [Laughs nervously]
172
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:09,926
[Laughter]
173
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,510
Oh! It's leaking!
Somebody! It's leaking!
174
00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:19,985
It's ok. It's ok.
I got it. I got it.
175
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:24,075
[Laughs] Hey! So cute.
176
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,646
Oh, thank you.
177
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:27,373
Well, actually, I was
talking to the baby,
178
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:29,080
but you're not bad yourself.
179
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:32,701
Oh. Wow. You look
good holding that baby.
180
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,088
I'm gonna get some food.
181
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,347
- [Laughter]
- I'll just be a minute.
182
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,010
And the rear seat folds down.
183
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:41,714
It's the only way to
fit the stroller in there.
184
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:44,492
[Crying] A stroller for my baby.
185
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:46,708
I've been waiting my
whole life to say that.
186
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,282
And that folding rear seat
187
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:52,496
will come in handy
for your skis, too.
188
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,626
Janet sold my skis on eBay.
189
00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:55,938
[Laughter]
190
00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:57,464
Oh, honey, that's because
191
00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:00,067
we won't really have
time for skiing, because...
192
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:01,808
[Crying] We're having a baby!
193
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,069
[All cheering]
194
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:06,124
Animal crackers, anyone?
195
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,248
[Laughter]
196
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:11,125
Hey. You're pretty
good with him.
197
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,263
You're not somebody's
baby daddy, are you?
198
00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:14,475
[Laughter]
199
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:16,224
- I just love kids, man.
- Oh.
200
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:17,695
Can't wait to have
some of my own.
201
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:19,915
- I'm thinking three to eight.
- [Laughter]
202
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:24,100
Ok, people. Let's
get to the games.
203
00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:26,182
Here's a little something
I created called
204
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:28,491
"the amazing baby race."
205
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,098
Mona, help me demonstrate.
206
00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:31,598
You know, I was just
about to take out the trash.
207
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:32,925
Don't touch that trash!
208
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:34,017
[Laughter]
209
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:41,067
First, you and your partner
tie yourselves together.
210
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,846
Janet and I should
be good at that.
211
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:44,730
[Laughter]
212
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:47,342
Then you go over to
the giant bowl of rice
213
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,563
and try to fish out
two diaper pins.
214
00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:54,517
Finally, using your
team's three hands,
215
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:57,304
you diaper the doll.
216
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:59,609
Watch out. I've been
practicing on the cat.
217
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,216
[Laughter]
218
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:03,526
The fastest time wins.
219
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:04,613
Fun, huh?
220
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:07,050
[Laughter]
221
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,788
Dee Dee, I think your
game is a little ambitious
222
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:12,541
for us homebodies.
223
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:13,822
Plus, if everybody's paired off,
224
00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:15,101
who's gonna hold my baby?
225
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:16,190
[Laughter]
226
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:19,497
But thanks for going
through all that trouble.
227
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,586
In fact, let's all
thank Dee Dee.
228
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,325
Lucky for us, Dee
Dee's still single
229
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:25,505
and has plenty of time
to pull a wonderful event
230
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:26,592
like this together.
231
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,949
[Laughter]
232
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:33,473
"Dee Dee's still single."
233
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:36,336
"Dee Dee has plenty of time."
234
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:39,388
That's what I get for
being a wonderful hostess.
235
00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:41,955
[Child laughing]
236
00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:48,135
[Laughing continues]
237
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,140
That's a good little baby.
238
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,397
Who are you?
239
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:55,059
I'm you.
240
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:57,193
- What are you doing here?
- Nothing.
241
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,905
Just like what you've
done with your life.
242
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,799
[Laughter]
243
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:02,498
What happened to us?
244
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:05,105
We were supposed to be
married with children by now.
245
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:07,626
It's all here in our diary.
246
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:09,771
Which is a perfect
curse if I might add.
247
00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:11,513
[Laughter]
248
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:13,944
Well, right now, I'm
focusing on my career.
249
00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:15,691
I mean, I'm a modern woman.
250
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:17,992
Really? 'Cause there
were other modern women
251
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:19,909
at the party who
were younger than you
252
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,434
who had husbands and kids!
253
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:22,517
[Laughter]
254
00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,166
Don't make me
smack you, little girl.
255
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,131
[Laughter]
256
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,699
Don't make me call
fantasy social services.
257
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:32,007
[Laughter]
258
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:34,103
How could have let this happen?
259
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:36,362
Even our frizzy-haired
sister has a boyfriend.
260
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,095
[Laughter]
261
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,056
This is our wake-up call, missy.
262
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,894
Remember? We were gonna
be Mrs. Michael Jackson.
263
00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:43,973
[Laughter]
264
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:48,105
Well, that didn't work out
for a couple of reasons.
265
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:49,886
Little Dee, who
are you talking to?
266
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:51,500
I'm just talking to
myself, mommy.
267
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,811
That's lovely, dear.
268
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,196
[Laughter]
269
00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,939
But it's time for
your French lesson.
270
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,770
Come downstairs before
madame Genevieve
271
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,528
tells me another story
about the French résistance.
272
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:00,555
[Laughter]
273
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,170
Come on now.
274
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,693
[Speaking French] Allez-vous.
275
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:06,127
That's French for "get
a ring on that finger."
276
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:07,224
[Laughter]
277
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,302
[Loud thud]
278
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:11,699
I've got to get moving.
279
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,045
[Introductory musical note]
280
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:18,658
Well, congratulations
on the triplets, Dwayne.
281
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,838
Yeah. Bye.
282
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,534
Unbelievable!
283
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,892
Almost every guy I used
to date has gotten married.
284
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,632
Dwayne's been married
twice. He's got six kids.
285
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,194
I told him he needed to move on,
286
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,280
but take it easy, pal!
287
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,368
[Laughter]
288
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,649
That's what happens, dear.
A good man gets snatched up
289
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,027
faster than Phyllis snatches up
290
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:37,513
a 12-pack of
underwear at costco.
291
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,123
[Laughter]
292
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,293
Ah!
293
00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:41,898
[Laughter]
294
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,729
Hey! Maybe I should
give Malcolm a call.
295
00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:45,037
He was nice enough.
296
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:46,992
Don't bother. He's
married to a model.
297
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,471
We have the same manicurist.
She tells me everything.
298
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,131
But if it makes you feel better,
299
00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:53,125
Malcolm once called
out your name during sex.
300
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:54,957
He did? Oh, what am I saying!
301
00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:56,045
[Laughter]
302
00:10:58,005 --> 00:11:01,265
It just seems like everyone
is settling down but me.
303
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,176
I know it seems
that way, sweetheart,
304
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:04,491
because it is that way.
305
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,576
[Laughter]
306
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,306
I don't know what
you're so worried about.
307
00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:09,823
You found a man
who wants to have kids.
308
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,563
- That's a hallelujah praisin'!
- [Laughter]
309
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,888
Yeah, but what are we
gonna do when chase finds out
310
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,718
I don't have any
maternal instincts?
311
00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:18,236
You don't need any. I got 'em.
312
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,789
Spencer, sit up straight
and use your napkin.
313
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:20,899
[Laughter]
314
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,733
What do you think, Spence?
Is it really important to guys
315
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:26,384
that a woman is
good with children?
316
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,728
Well, "good with
kids" is a nice quality.
317
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,078
It's right up there with,
318
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:31,557
"doesn't like to
talk after sex."
319
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,777
[Laughter]
320
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,307
I thought you didn't
want any babies.
321
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,310
Lord knows I've asked
you enough times.
322
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,182
Well, when you
finally meet someone
323
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,143
that you might want
to have a baby with,
324
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:42,922
you start to think about it.
325
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:44,306
Well, it's no secret
326
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:45,919
you don't have any
maternal instincts.
327
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,579
You couldn't keep
sea monkeys alive.
328
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:48,713
[Laughter]
329
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,405
Mona: Here we go.
330
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:52,932
Finally, I got her an air
fern, and she killed that.
331
00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:54,416
And you know what
an air fern needs?
332
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:55,912
I'll tell you what an
air fern needs. Air.
333
00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:56,932
[Laughter]
334
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,852
Ok. So, I'm not good
with plants, pets, or kids.
335
00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:02,287
We all agree on that.
336
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,333
But now I've got to
do something about it.
337
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,199
You're probably
not good with kids
338
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,900
because you're not around
any. They can smell fear, Mona.
339
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,119
They're smart like that.
340
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:11,247
[Laughter]
341
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,647
Hey, how about if I
spend more time with drew.
342
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,954
- That might do me some good.
- Yeah, but...
343
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,300
I'll feel sorry for the kid.
344
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:19,649
[Laughter]
345
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,259
[Animated song]
346
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:24,314
[Dee Dee sighs]
347
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:27,175
Wow. I do not miss this scene.
348
00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:29,178
Well, it'll only take
a couple of minutes
349
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:30,750
before the guys
start sweatin' me.
350
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:31,837
[Laughter]
351
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:34,316
Can I buy you a drink?
352
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,055
That was fast even for me.
353
00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:37,366
[Laughter]
354
00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:38,582
Sure.
355
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:42,074
Actually, I was talking
to your curly, curvy friend.
356
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:43,152
[Laughter]
357
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:45,418
Oh.
358
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:46,983
Beat it, loser!
359
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:48,810
[Laughter]
360
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:51,378
Hey! That was a free drink. I
don't see you buying me one.
361
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:53,076
You've gotta keep
the creeps away.
362
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:54,163
[Laughter]
363
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:56,302
[Song continues]
364
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:00,822
[Mona laughs]
365
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:03,432
What are you doing?
366
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:04,651
Feeling the beat.
367
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:12,439
Wanna dance?
368
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:13,660
[Laughter]
369
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:17,667
Uh... no, thanks.
I'd rather sit.
370
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:20,633
- Then, can I sit with you?
- Uh, no.
371
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:23,192
That seat is taken by me.
372
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,200
But I'm standing,
373
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,502
waiting for a man who
wants to... [chuckles]
374
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:29,029
Dance with me.
375
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,372
Oh, uh...
376
00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:31,901
Well, good luck with that.
377
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:32,985
[Laughter]
378
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,025
Sit down, lord of the dance.
379
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,250
[Laughter]
380
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,432
Why are they
only hitting on you?
381
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:45,037
Do you think we've
cosmically switched places?
382
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:46,558
Maybe because I
have a boyfriend,
383
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,221
they sense my confidence.
384
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:49,865
I mean, you have
been very focused
385
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,739
on your career lately.
386
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,271
Maybe your
pheromones are fizzled
387
00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:55,234
and these guys are
sensing your desperation.
388
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:56,972
[Laughter]
389
00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:59,013
Ohh! And speaking of desperate.
390
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,669
Isn't that the Deacon
from your church
391
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,282
who was always really into you?
392
00:14:02,363 --> 00:14:03,933
[Whispering] I'm
not that desperate!
393
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,847
- [Laughter]
- Rufus!
394
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,542
Well, well, well.
395
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,719
If it isn't sister Dee Dee.
396
00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,105
[Laughter]
397
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:12,938
Good to see you.
We were just leaving.
398
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,936
Oh, no. That's a shame.
399
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:17,468
'Cause I was gonna buy
your pretty sister a drink.
400
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:18,642
[Laughter]
401
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:23,173
Sure, she's pretty,
but what about me?
402
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:27,173
Your spirit is not pulling
me in your direction anymore.
403
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:28,347
[Laughter]
404
00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:30,222
No offense.
405
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,484
- It's the lord's way.
- [Laughter]
406
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,257
Mona, beverage?
407
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:35,701
I don't believe this!
408
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,827
[Laughter]
409
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,010
Girl, you make me wanna
break all the commandments!
410
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,787
[Laughter]
411
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,362
[Lullaby song]
412
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:49,187
Ok, drew. I'm gonna
show you a good time!
413
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:50,979
Wait. I sound like
I'm talking to a sailor.
414
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:52,414
[Laughter]
415
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,240
Ok, what I meant was
416
00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:57,108
you are gonna have some
fun with your big sister,
417
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,510
and I'm gonna find
my inner mommy, ok?
418
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:01,943
[Laughter]
419
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,730
What time's your
mommy coming back?
420
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:06,817
[Laughter]
421
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:14,698
Hello, hello! [Gasps] Oh, my!
422
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:15,783
[Laughter]
423
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,308
Did you know your son's a biter?
424
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:19,785
From way back. Where you been?
425
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,485
[Laughter]
426
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,752
Obviously not hanging
out with baby blackula.
427
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:24,835
[Laughter]
428
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,135
Count yourself lucky.
429
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,620
The nanny lost
a tip of her finger.
430
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,630
[Laughter]
431
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,472
Fortunately, we already
had her fingerprinted.
432
00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:34,236
[Laughter]
433
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:37,944
Uh, lemon drop, I mean
this in the nicest way,
434
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,074
but you look more like
hell than you usually do.
435
00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:41,506
[Laughter]
436
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,862
Well, drew never
stops jumping or rolling
437
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,683
or punching or moving.
438
00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:47,950
You know he found a closet
I didn't even know I had?
439
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,344
[Laughter]
440
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,986
I guess I have to face the fact
441
00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:53,821
that I don't have
a knack with kids.
442
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,129
Big Dee Dee, I just hope
443
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:57,295
I don't lose my
boyfriend because of this.
444
00:15:57,391 --> 00:15:59,001
Nutter butter, let me
tell you something.
445
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:00,258
[Laughter]
446
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,090
This may come as a shock to you,
447
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:04,008
but I'm not a very
maternal person.
448
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,623
[Laughter]
449
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:08,143
Don't try to convince
me otherwise. [Chuckles]
450
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:10,748
Ah, the truth is I had
those very same fears
451
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,489
when I was pregnant
with your sister.
452
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:13,930
What did you do?
453
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,626
I realized I was
gonna need help,
454
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,503
and there's nothing
wrong with that.
455
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:19,625
You don't have to put the
whole burden on yourself
456
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,627
if it doesn't come
naturally to you.
457
00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:23,939
You know, I never
thought of it like that.
458
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,546
And here's a little secret.
459
00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:27,986
When it's your child,
you find that your love
460
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:29,514
will help you
overcome your fears.
461
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:30,637
Come here, baby.
462
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:34,779
- Wow. That's beautiful.
- And don't worry about today.
463
00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,693
Any permanent damage you've done
464
00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,388
can easily be
blamed on the nanny.
465
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:39,555
[Laughter]
466
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:42,701
[Introductory musical note]
467
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:43,784
[Knock on door]
468
00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:50,399
Hey, Neil. Come on in.
469
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:51,787
Janet's in the car.
470
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,010
She wanted to come
up. But she didn't.
471
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,060
[Laughter]
472
00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,835
Thanks for throwing
us such a great shower.
473
00:16:57,929 --> 00:16:59,239
When you're having a baby,
474
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,412
we'll be happy to
return the favor.
475
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,978
Oh, thank you, but...
476
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,026
You might be tied up
with your kid's graduation
477
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,502
by the time I give birth.
478
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:08,591
[Laughter]
479
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:10,903
What are you talking about?
480
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,896
Your shower got me thinking.
481
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:14,638
Well, that and
getting a life lecture
482
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:16,169
from my 10-year-old self.
483
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:17,432
[Laughter]
484
00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:21,013
Dee Dee, have you been
working a little too hard recently?
485
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,913
[Laughter]
486
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:25,038
That's all I've been doing.
487
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:27,921
My job's been going
great, but even with that,
488
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:31,053
I'm starting to question
the choices I've made.
489
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,827
But you always wanted a career.
490
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:36,321
I know. It's just that
watching you and Janet
491
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,323
and all your married friends,
492
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,405
it makes me wonder
what my life would be like
493
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,504
if I'd gone down that road.
494
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,673
I'll tell you what it
would be like. Crazy.
495
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,329
[Laughter]
496
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:48,503
Oh, come on. You have it all.
497
00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:51,509
Dee Dee, having it all
means dealing with it all.
498
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:52,792
I've only been married a year,
499
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,380
I've already got
a kid on the way.
500
00:17:54,464 --> 00:17:56,514
You know what that
entails? Setting up a nursery,
501
00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:59,027
finding a pediatrician,
saving up for college.
502
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,911
Don't get me started
on life insurance.
503
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:03,262
Do I get a convertible
term? How much do I get?
504
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,263
Is it supposed to be
seven times my income?
505
00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:07,475
What if it drops? Or if
I fall and hit my head
506
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:08,874
and forget how to do my job?
507
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:10,437
What if I accidentally
kill a man?
508
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,054
- Or what if i...
- Neil!
509
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:16,135
Whoa! Slow down!
One day at a time.
510
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:18,135
It's all gonna work out.
511
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:20,007
You know, sometimes
I feel like people
512
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,449
who don't have as much
responsibility are better off.
513
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,146
I mean, look at you.
514
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:27,153
You got your freedom.
You got a great career,
515
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:29,756
and you got plenty of time
to settle down if you want.
516
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:31,277
Huh.
517
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:33,461
I guess whatever path you take,
518
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,547
you always wonder if
you chose the right one.
519
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:36,896
Hmm.
520
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,305
I need to tell my
10-year-old self
521
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:39,598
to stay out of my business.
522
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:41,603
[Laughter]
523
00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:43,725
I think you need to
tell a licensed therapist
524
00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:45,248
about your 10-year-old self.
525
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,341
[Laughter]
526
00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:51,696
Chase, there's something
I need to tell you.
527
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:55,109
Does it have to do with
that cheerio in your hair?
528
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,274
- [Mona chuckles]
- [Laughter]
529
00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:58,923
Kinda.
530
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:01,657
And maybe this conversation
is a little premature,
531
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:04,269
but I overheard you tell Spencer
532
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,410
that you want lots of children.
533
00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:07,933
But here's the thing.
534
00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:09,446
I'm not so good with them.
535
00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:10,449
[Laughter]
536
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:11,980
That's it?
537
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:14,283
My mind just went a
whole lot of other places.
538
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:15,680
[Laughter]
539
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:17,723
So, you're ok with
dating someone
540
00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:19,588
whose mothering
skills need a little help?
541
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,510
All right, a lotta help.
542
00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,695
All right. I make Courtney
love look like mother of the year.
543
00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:24,727
[Laughter]
544
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,946
Mona, I'm crazy about you,
545
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:29,596
and if and when we
do go down that road,
546
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:30,910
we'll be doing it together.
547
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:33,555
[Sighs] I'm so relieved.
548
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,392
And I saw you with
that little drooler
549
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:38,046
at the shower.
550
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,073
There's no way I'd ever
leave you alone with our child.
551
00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:41,401
[Laughter]
552
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,660
That's the sweetest thing
you've ever said to me.
553
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,399
[Laughter]
554
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:48,840
[Introductory musical note]
555
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:53,445
Thanks, Neil.
556
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:56,590
I feel a lot better.
557
00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:58,463
You know,
558
00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,105
I'm glad we're still friends,
559
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,379
even though I messed
up your wedding.
560
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:04,772
That's ancient history.
And don't forget my offer
561
00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:06,135
to throw you a baby
shower one day.
562
00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:07,471
Thank you.
563
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:11,117
I knew it!
564
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,910
How could you do
this to me? [Cries]
565
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,134
[Laughter]
566
00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:17,127
On second thought,
567
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,406
forget about that shower. Janet!
568
00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,134
- Janet!
- [Laughter]
569
00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,489
[Introductory theme song]
570
00:20:26,539 --> 00:20:31,089
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