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1
00:00:01,088 --> 00:00:02,088
[Joyful song]
2
00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,456
Do you think you got
enough sticky tabs?
3
00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:06,663
[Laughter]
4
00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:08,265
You see, this way,
5
00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:10,306
I can cross-reference
all the stats that I need.
6
00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:12,011
All sports agents
use tricks like this
7
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,639
so they can stay ahead
of the competition.
8
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:14,965
See, yellow is for tennis.
9
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,148
Ooh, you could be
Mrs. Andy roddick.
10
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:19,454
[Laughter]
11
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,111
Green is for golf.
12
00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:23,365
Big Dee Dee: Mrs. Tiger Woods!
13
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:24,678
He must be bored
14
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,053
with that statuesque
blond by now.
15
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:27,199
[Laughter]
16
00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:29,068
And orange is for baseball.
17
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,989
Mrs. Derek jeter. Ugh.
18
00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:32,294
[Laughter]
19
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:33,900
Has a nice ring to it.
20
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:35,990
Dee Dee jeter. Dee
Dee jeter. Dee Dee jeter.
21
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,339
[Laughter]
22
00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:39,648
Oh, I like that. Maybe
I could meet him.
23
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:41,255
Mona jeter. Mona
jeter. Mona jeter.
24
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:42,995
[Laughter]
25
00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:45,646
Doesn't have quite
the same ring, does it?
26
00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:48,271
[Introductory theme song]
27
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:53,232
♪ through this
journey of discovery ♪
28
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:57,754
♪ you finding you
I'm finding me ♪
29
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,970
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
30
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,851
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
31
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,852
♪ brings out the
joy inside of me ♪
32
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:07,424
♪ inside of me ♪
33
00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:09,632
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
34
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:12,161
♪ all we need is lovin' ♪
35
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♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
36
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:17,076
♪ you and me ♪
37
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,914
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
38
00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:22,082
Ooh. [Ironic laughter]
39
00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:25,259
[Introductory musical note]
40
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:28,383
[Mona thinking] I'm convinced
there's a man out there
41
00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:30,346
to share my life with.
42
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If I just had the confidence to
let someone get to know me,
43
00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:36,438
the real me, the one
that, so far, only I know,
44
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,791
- the woman who...
- Spencer: Hey, Mona. Seen Adam?
45
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:40,801
- He had a lunch date.
- It's three o'clock.
46
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:42,153
Well, he did come in early.
47
00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:43,762
He showed up at 11:45.
48
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:44,972
[Laughter]
49
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Which, for Adam, is early.
50
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He left for lunch at noon.
51
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,847
[Laughter]
52
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:53,496
- He said he had a special date.
- He says that about every date.
53
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,683
Man, Adam's got a
better social life than
54
00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:58,068
the two of us put together.
55
00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:00,251
Hello, dateless wonder twins.
56
00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:01,687
[Laughter]
57
00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:03,383
Can you cover the phones?
58
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,141
I'm so tired I'm gonna
take a nap in the grab room.
59
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,558
[Laughter]
60
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,648
Man, how are you
pulling all these dates?
61
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,567
Step into the
millennium, people.
62
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:14,312
I'm listed on 20
Internet dating sites.
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00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:16,475
Male call, boy toy,
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00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,831
and I'm really hot in the
gay Jewish singles site,
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00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,011
man-on-manischewitz.
66
00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:21,176
[Laughter]
67
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:22,451
They think I'm taboo.
68
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,880
But how are you
getting so many hits?
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00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,891
I wrote an incredible profile.
70
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,453
[Gasps] You two should try it.
71
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,330
Surely with some
creative verbiage,
72
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:33,002
you could dupe
somebody into a first date.
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00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:34,552
[Cheerful humming]
74
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:37,372
Now for my nap.
No calls, please.
75
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:38,591
[Laughter]
76
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:40,807
Dating online?
77
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,549
[Scoffs] Seems
a little desperate.
78
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,170
- Yeah. Let's do it!
- I'm down.
79
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:47,856
But I'm doing it
as a public service.
80
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,210
Shouldn't hold back
81
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:50,709
all this chocolate
love from the ladies!
82
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,555
[Laughter]
83
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Please don't ruin
chocolate for me.
84
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:56,475
[Introductory musical note]
85
00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,269
I know you've all
heard the rumors
86
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,623
that one of our superstars,
87
00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:02,142
Merlin DeMarco,
has been sleeping
88
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,785
with the wives of
some of his teammates,
89
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:06,139
and I just wanted
to clear things up.
90
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,709
- So, it's not true?
- Oh, it's absolutely true.
91
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:10,227
[Laughter]
92
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,840
I just wanted to
clear things up.
93
00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,370
Gonna need damage control.
94
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:15,374
I've secured a sex
therapist for Merlin,
95
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:16,866
a marriage counselor
for his teammates
96
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:18,372
and a restraining order
97
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:19,909
for anybody who wants
to take it any further.
98
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:21,938
On top of things
as usual, Brett.
99
00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:24,987
So, Dee Dee, any
ideas, questions?
100
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,074
Ideas?
101
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:27,898
[Laughter]
102
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:30,860
Well, Gus, fellow agents,
103
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:32,689
I've been watching the trends,
104
00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:35,077
and I've come up
with something hot.
105
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:36,871
Extreme sports.
106
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:40,476
[Laughter]
107
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,224
Should I tell her somebody
already came up with that?
108
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:47,309
I was just setting the tableau.
109
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:50,231
Now, everybody knows Tony hawk,
110
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:53,187
but nobody knows the kids
who wanna be Tony hawk.
111
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:55,926
Now, I've compiled
an extensive list
112
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,498
of 11 to 14-years-olds
who are making noise
113
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:01,416
in skateboarding, kitesurfing,
heliskiing, snowboarding...
114
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,552
Brett: Right, right, right.
115
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,184
Our commission from
that would certainly cover
116
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,031
the morning bagels.
117
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:08,376
Hey, maybe we could even get
118
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:09,615
some of that flavored
cream cheese.
119
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,690
[Laughter]
120
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,863
Sure, there's not a lot
of money in these sports,
121
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,429
but there is a ton
122
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:17,556
in video game development,
product endorsement.
123
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:20,298
I think gmg should
aggressively go after
124
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,520
the next generation
of extreme sports stars.
125
00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,480
- Get them while they're young.
- Yeah.
126
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:27,088
- Like the cigarette companies.
- Yeah. No!
127
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,179
I meant before they hit it big,
128
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,919
but I'm glad you're
paying attention.
129
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,620
Could be interesting.
Didn't we try that once?
130
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,839
Yes, we did, with that
surfer Kelly Stokes.
131
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,558
All of our resources went
into wooing his parents.
132
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,412
Ah, the drunk and the whore.
133
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:42,407
[Laughter]
134
00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:43,999
Exactly, and we
still didn't get the kid.
135
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:45,892
It was a total waste of time.
136
00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:47,721
But, uh, how could
you have known
137
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,379
you were pitching
a waste of time?
138
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:50,773
You know, being new and all.
139
00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:52,725
[Laughter]
140
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,824
Let's table this idea
so I can think about it
141
00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:57,083
and make my tee
time with mickelson.
142
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,296
First one there
gets to drive the cart.
143
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,386
[Laughter]
144
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,780
What was that?
145
00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:07,049
Oh. Uhm, we just
had a staff meeting
146
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:08,482
where you pitched an idea
147
00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,349
that didn't really
go over too well.
148
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,050
[Laughter]
149
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:14,137
In fact, you might
want to go back in there
150
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:15,676
and kill the crickets
that are still chirping.
151
00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,226
[Laughter]
152
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,667
I've never seen anyone act
153
00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,493
like that in a
professional environment.
154
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,803
Isn't this your very first job?
155
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,498
[Laughter]
156
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:26,976
Look, I can understand
157
00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:28,825
if you're feeling a
little unsure of yourself.
158
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,330
Being the only female in
an all-male environment.
159
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,218
Not that that's the only
reason why you're here,
160
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:34,595
but I'm sure it's something
161
00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,122
that you probably
wondered about.
162
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:40,044
- Actually, I haven't.
- Then forget I spoke.
163
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:42,602
- Did you say something?
- I'm just trying to give you
164
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,210
the benefit of my
knowledge, Dee Dee.
165
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,000
Don't be so generous
next time, Brett.
166
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:50,181
[Laughs] Fine, if you're
not interested in learning.
167
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:53,309
[High-pitched voice]
Cricket. Cricket.
168
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:55,216
[Laughter]
169
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:56,701
[Introductory musical note]
170
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,401
[Knock, door opens]
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00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,228
Ok. Finished with my profile.
172
00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:02,796
Me, too. I'll show you
mine, if you show me yours.
173
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:04,454
If I had a nickel for every time
174
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:05,908
- a woman said that to me...
- You'd have a nickel.
175
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,850
[Laughter]
176
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:08,932
Now gimme.
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00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,288
Boy, this is
just a list of lies.
178
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,593
The celebrity you most
resemble: The rock?
179
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,679
[Laughter]
180
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,898
You drive a Porsche?
You speak Portuguese?
181
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,638
[Laughter]
182
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,339
You have to get 'em
on the hook, Mona.
183
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,596
Well, what are you gonna do
184
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:26,168
if you meet a girl
from Portugal?
185
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,835
I'll just tell I'm from the
south side of Lisbon.
186
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:29,385
[Laughter]
187
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,646
And when you walk in
not looking like the rock,
188
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:33,569
she's gonna know you
no hablaportuguese.
189
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:37,605
So I embellished. But
your profile is Booty.
190
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:40,567
And not the good kind.
191
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:43,231
I mean, nowhere do you
mention you've got big ones.
192
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:45,005
[Laughter]
193
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,280
Hey, baby. Hey, Spencer.
194
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:47,892
- Hey.
- Ma.
195
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,952
Read this dating profile
and tell me what you think.
196
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:53,204
Mmm. Looks like the
rock and loves to cuddle.
197
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:54,892
You don't hook up
with him, I might.
198
00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,289
[Laughter]
199
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:58,292
Ma, meet your dream man.
200
00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,644
[Laughter]
201
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,155
Spencer,
202
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,728
somebody put a stop
payment on your reality check.
203
00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:06,816
[Laughter]
204
00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:09,466
You know, I could've written
205
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:11,079
a better profile for
you than you did.
206
00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:13,429
Hmm. I was thinking the
same thing about yours.
207
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,870
Ok. You're on.
208
00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:16,256
But I still can't believe
209
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:17,668
you don't think
this'll get me a date.
210
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,348
Well, it might till
you pick her up
211
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,739
in your rusted-out Malibu.
212
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,401
[Laughter]
213
00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:24,485
And you have to drive
around the block in reverse.
214
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,974
[Laughs] And she has
to keep the door closed
215
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:28,225
with the seat belt.
216
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,317
It's a cutlass.
217
00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:30,795
[Laughter]
218
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:33,185
And you're never
riding in it again.
219
00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:34,848
Aww. I'm gonna
miss that lawn chair
220
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:35,982
you call a front seat.
221
00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:37,074
[Laughter]
222
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,018
Gotta get my look right.
223
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:42,981
I want people at work
to take me seriously.
224
00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:44,741
You know, coco's been
having the same problem
225
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,248
getting picked on
in doggy day care.
226
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:48,205
[Laughter]
227
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:51,173
That's why I bought
her an all-new wardrobe.
228
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:52,953
Yeah, I bet that solved it.
229
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:54,817
[Laughter]
230
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:57,649
The proper wardrobe
can salvage any situation.
231
00:07:57,738 --> 00:08:00,088
In fact, it was a sporty
bolero and Ruby stilettos
232
00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:01,585
that got me across
the Mexican border
233
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:02,961
before Botox was legal.
234
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:04,047
[Laughter]
235
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,307
[Louder laughter]
236
00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:11,492
Mom, have you been drinking?
237
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:13,970
Well, of course.
238
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,058
[Laughter]
239
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:17,802
Do you think I would dress
240
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:19,078
my dog like this if I was sober?
241
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,237
[Laughter]
242
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,683
Brett just had to remind me
243
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,554
that I'm the only
woman at the firm,
244
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:27,505
so I don't wanna
dress too provocatively.
245
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,864
Ahh, too short,
too short, too short.
246
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,644
Ah, here it is.
247
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,858
I was saving this for
my first murder trial,
248
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:36,298
but I think I may need it
for my first office beat-down.
249
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:38,075
[Laughter]
250
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,779
Dee Dee, why are you
letting this Brett guy get to you?
251
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:43,438
I don't know. He's got Gus' ear,
252
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,873
and he points out the
flaws in everything I do.
253
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,530
Oh, like when you and I
254
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,224
were first starting
to know each other
255
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:50,701
and you pointed
out all my flaws.
256
00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:54,324
I wasn't sure if I wanted
to hug you or slug you.
257
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:55,843
[Laughter]
258
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,796
But the important
thing is that over time,
259
00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:00,885
it worked out, so just relax.
260
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,235
You wanted to hit me?
261
00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:03,764
[Laughter]
262
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,197
I said I wasn't sure.
263
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:06,633
[Laughter]
264
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,070
I'm still thinkin' about it.
265
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:10,106
[Laughter]
266
00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:11,331
[Introductory musical note]
267
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,162
Gus, Brett.
268
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,249
[Laughter]
269
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,260
I've got news.
270
00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:22,822
My manicurist told me
that her boyfriend's sister
271
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,780
was on the treadmill
next to a trainer
272
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:26,868
on a cell phone talking
to kadeem Jennings.
273
00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:28,867
Kadeem just left his agent.
274
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,828
That's... that's very good
detective work, Dee Dee.
275
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,250
But if you'd been
watching sportscenter
276
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:35,659
like I was at 3:00 am,
277
00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:36,989
you would've found
this out a lot sooner.
278
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:38,491
[Laughter]
279
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,798
Well, anybody can watch TV.
280
00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:42,674
[Laughter]
281
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:44,816
Actually, Dee Dee, Brett and I
were just discussing kadeem.
282
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:46,235
I'd like to land him before
283
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:47,804
my backstabbing ex-partner does.
284
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:50,111
Well, I'd love to go
after kadeem for you, sir.
285
00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:51,898
Your eagerness is so
appreciated, Dee Dee,
286
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,342
but I already
started working on it
287
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,545
at 3:05 this morning.
288
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,327
[Laughter]
289
00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:58,361
- You know what I'm thinking?
- I know what he's thinking.
290
00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,950
I'm thinking of
pairing you two up.
291
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,451
Are you sure that's
what you're thinking?
292
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,041
[Laughter]
293
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,015
'Cause I'm thinking you
wouldn't be thinking that
294
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,480
if you were really
thinking about it.
295
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:09,701
Brett's right.
296
00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,183
We wouldn't make
a very good team.
297
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,482
Dee Dee, you're a
really creative raw talent,
298
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,399
and I want you to
learn from the best,
299
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:17,054
so let's get this done.
300
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:19,008
Unless either one
of you would care
301
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:21,096
to question my judgment again.
302
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:22,665
Anybody?
303
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:23,752
Didn't think so.
304
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:24,840
[Laughter]
305
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,276
[Scoffs] I knew
we were in trouble
306
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:29,806
when you walked
in here in that skirt
307
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:32,460
- that covered your knees.
- [Laughter]
308
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:33,724
Well, brace yourself,
309
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,237
because tomorrow
I'm wearing pants.
310
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,510
[Laughter]
311
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:40,599
[Mimicking Dee Dee]
Pants. Tomorrow.
312
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:41,683
[Laughter]
313
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:43,765
My pants on.
314
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,040
[Introductory musical note]
315
00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,128
So how do I look on paper?
316
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:51,264
I'd do ya.
317
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,166
[Laughter]
318
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:54,831
A high compliment indeed.
319
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,657
And other than spelling,
grammar and punctuation,
320
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,525
I think Spencer
captured you quite nicely.
321
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:03,157
Although I don't really
think you needed to put
322
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:04,624
temperamental in caps.
323
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:05,927
[Laughter]
324
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:07,883
Temperamental? Give
me that damn thing!
325
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,231
[Laughter]
326
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,970
Keep the caps. Add an exclaim.
327
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:12,721
[Laughter]
328
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:15,242
Spencer, I'm counting on
you to help me find someone.
329
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,976
Me, too. And you've
barely written a thing.
330
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:19,308
What happened to
the stuff I gave you,
331
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,030
like "thick Teddy bear"
332
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:22,215
and the fact I just finished
reading Moby dick?
333
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:23,246
[Laughter]
334
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,644
Come on. Test me.
335
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,118
Ask me what kind of fish he is.
336
00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:31,687
I am not putting anything
about Moby dickin your profile.
337
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,298
Yeah. That kind of bragging only
338
00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:34,818
gets you dates on my websites.
339
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,041
[Laughter]
340
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,440
[Introductory musical note]
341
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:41,144
Name the top 3 all-time
leading rushers in the NFL.
342
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:43,202
Emmett Smith, Walter Payton,
Barry Sanders. In that order.
343
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:45,364
- Next.
- Give me some basics on Brady.
344
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:47,273
Starting quarterback
for new england,
345
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:48,638
holds the super bowl
record for pass completions,
346
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:50,144
and in 2002,
347
00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:51,641
one of people magazine's
most beautiful people.
348
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,097
Which I personally
agree with. Next.
349
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:56,020
Ok, who sang the national anthem
350
00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:57,716
- at super bowl xxv?
- Mariah Carey.
351
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,244
[Buzzer]
352
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:00,627
[Laughter]
353
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,940
Wrong. Whitney Houston.
354
00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:05,376
You're enjoying that
buzzer a little too much.
355
00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:06,603
[Buzzer]
356
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:08,162
[Laughter]
357
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:10,079
Wrong. I'm enjoying it a lot.
358
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,514
[Laughter]
359
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,170
Dee Dee, I think I'm
done for the night.
360
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:16,344
No! I need to be far
more prepared than Brett
361
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,261
for our meeting with
kadeem Jennings,
362
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:20,516
who by the way, set the
NFL single-season record
363
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,699
with 2,691 all-purpose yards
364
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:25,745
896 receiving, 661 punt return,
365
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:29,232
1,133 kickoffs, and
one rushing yard.
366
00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:30,313
[Laughter]
367
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,570
- You seem a little tense.
- Don't tell me I'm tense!
368
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:36,193
[Laughter]
369
00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:38,977
Stress is the glue that
holds me together. Next.
370
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,152
[Buzzer]
371
00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:43,165
How can I be wrong?
Nobody asked me a question.
372
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,220
I just think your whole attitude
373
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:47,112
is wrong right now.
374
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:48,461
[Introductory musical note]
375
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,074
I'm telling you, kadeem mentions
376
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:53,031
the small town where he grew up
377
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,770
every time he does an interview,
378
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:57,431
so we propose the kadeem
Jennings foundation.
379
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:59,685
- Not new.
- Not finished.
380
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,609
It'd fund sports programs
and scholarships
381
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,043
for the children of Springfield,
382
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:04,870
and, before you
interrupt me again,
383
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:07,528
we'd negotiate the money
on top of kadeem's contract.
384
00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:09,882
He'll see how innovative
we are and sign with us.
385
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,053
It's not a bad idea,
386
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,748
but I'm gonna go
a different way,
387
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,065
- and you're gonna be impressed.
- You mean like I am now?
388
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,618
[Laughter]
389
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:18,278
- [Chuckles]
- Look, Brett, I know
390
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:20,172
that you've been doing
this longer than I ha...
391
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,280
[stammers] Doing this?
392
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:23,406
[Laughter]
393
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,054
I don't really think you
understand who I am, Dee Dee.
394
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,424
When I was a kid,
I brokered deals
395
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,854
in peewee football,
396
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,590
wee-tees basketball,
and any other sport
397
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:34,291
that wouldn't let
a kid like me play.
398
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:36,418
I graduated from high
school, and I started out
399
00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,251
in the mail room
of Gus' first firm.
400
00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:40,449
When his former partner left
and stole most of his clients,
401
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:43,001
I was one of only two
agents who stood by his side.
402
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:47,573
I have brokered $269.9
million worth of deals,
403
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:50,052
a feat no one else the age
of 30 has ever accomplished.
404
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,743
So you see, I
just don't "do this."
405
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,181
I live this. I breathe this.
406
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,618
I am this.
407
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:56,704
[Laughter]
408
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,056
[Laughter]
409
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:05,946
The next time you practice
that speech in the mirror,
410
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,925
-and don't deny that
you have, -[Scoffs]
411
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:09,371
You might want to add
412
00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:11,067
some hand gestures for emphasis.
413
00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:12,814
It'll keep people
awake that way.
414
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:13,975
[Laughter]
415
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:17,161
- The freshman has fire.
- Dee Dee: Yes, she does,
416
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,377
and I'm here to be a
part of this business.
417
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:21,297
If I wanted to be
treated like an assistant,
418
00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:22,912
I'd take a job as
your secretary.
419
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,122
I could use a new one.
420
00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:25,821
I take my coffee
strong and black.
421
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,798
Well, you're gonna take
your partner that way, too.
422
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:29,003
[Audience cheers]
423
00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:31,647
How's my new team doing?
424
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,090
- Great. Workin' it out.
- Cool.
425
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:34,346
Don't lie to me.
426
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:35,438
[Laughter]
427
00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:36,533
Just get kadeem.
428
00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:39,309
[Brett sighs]
429
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,010
Look, Brett, I'm sure
that someone helped you
430
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,748
when you first got started,
and I need that from you.
431
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,190
And I need you to trust me
432
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,406
to make this kadeem deal happen.
433
00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:49,886
- Fine.
- Ok.
434
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,853
Can I at least suggest
monsoon as the place
435
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:56,546
- for the three of us to meet?
- You can suggest that,
436
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,944
but kadeem and I are
going to the candy shop.
437
00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,768
The candy shop?
That's a strip club.
438
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:02,206
[Chuckling] Yeah. Yeah.
439
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:03,772
[Laughter]
440
00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:05,729
Actually, technically,
it's a gentlemen's club,
441
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,337
and where kadeem wanted to meet,
442
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:10,778
so that's where we'll be
meeting, us gentlemen.
443
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,086
I'll tell you what, though.
444
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:14,870
I'll give kadeem
a stack of ones,
445
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:16,277
and I'll tell him
they're from you.
446
00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:17,306
[Laughter]
447
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,480
So, do you like what
I wrote about you?
448
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,751
Hmm. Well, it is accurate.
449
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:24,424
I was just hoping
for a description like,
450
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:25,575
"big hands, big feet,
451
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,403
four big reasons
you want to meet."
452
00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:28,711
[Laughter]
453
00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:30,227
Some things
should be left unsaid,
454
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,600
like the things you tend to say.
455
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:33,626
[Laughter]
456
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,585
What kind of woman
is gonna respond to:
457
00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:37,593
"Passionate man
seeks drama-free,
458
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:39,155
intellectually stimulating woman
459
00:15:39,242 --> 00:15:40,552
for simple good times"?
460
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,285
I don't need my
intellect stimulated.
461
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:43,546
I've got big feet.
462
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:44,678
[Laughter]
463
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,159
Ok, come on, Spencer.
464
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,309
You said you wanted
to change your image,
465
00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:48,897
I'm just trying to help you.
466
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:51,211
You are gonna find the good,
honest woman you deserve,
467
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,818
based on the English-speaking
468
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,738
bucket-driving, sweet-ass
man that you are.
469
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,043
[Laughter]
470
00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,299
Good, honest woman, huh?
471
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,308
I guess honest wouldn't be bad.
472
00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:03,265
As long as she
has a pinch of freak.
473
00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:04,353
[Laughter]
474
00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:06,849
So, what do you
think about yours?
475
00:16:06,922 --> 00:16:08,792
Oh, it's really nice.
476
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,750
"Fiercely loyal,
exceptionally creative, and..."
477
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,360
Do you really think
I have great legs?
478
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,580
[Scoffs] Oh, yeah.
Wearing those frankenboots
479
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,150
has done wonders
for your calves.
480
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:18,627
[Laughter]
481
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,716
After reading this, even
I'd want to meet me.
482
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,813
You know, sometimes I
forget how close we are.
483
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:25,415
You really do know me.
484
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:26,676
I can't wait to post this.
485
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:28,508
[Soft song]
486
00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:29,826
[Mona thinking] So, I didn't
exactly have the courage
487
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:31,558
to post my profile yet.
488
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:35,297
I'm just not strong
enough for mass rejection.
489
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:36,775
But Spencer did such a nice job,
490
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,385
maybe I'll frame it
491
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,475
and read it till I start
believing it myself.
492
00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:45,958
[Animated song]
493
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,878
Kadeem, you're the
most important athlete
494
00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:48,963
in the NFL today.
495
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,228
And I promise you, man,
496
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,053
I am gonna fight
for you, all right?
497
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:54,711
I will be a gladiator for you.
498
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,926
My cell phone,
which is always on,
499
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,296
is off right now. You know
why? 'Cause it's all about you.
500
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:00,846
[Cellphone rings]
501
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:02,112
[Cellphone beeps]
502
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:03,325
Now it's all about you.
503
00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:05,023
[Laughter]
504
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,721
Oh, that's nice.
505
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,158
[Laughter]
506
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,384
Brett: Dee Dee.
507
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:11,473
Brett. Sorry I'm late,
508
00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:13,602
but I was picking up
some quality Cubans
509
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:17,044
from Michael Jordan's supplier
to give to our newest client.
510
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,563
Ahh. Sweet. It's
monte cristo number 5.
511
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:21,297
[Chuckles]
512
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,258
I didn't expect to see you here.
513
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,566
We, women, can just
be so unpredictable.
514
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:26,653
[Laughter]
515
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,175
Now, kadeem,
516
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:31,265
you know that these
cigars are not the only way
517
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,364
we're gonna take
care of you at gmg,
518
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:35,323
we'll also help you with
wealth management,
519
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:37,402
cultivate new global
branding opportunities
520
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:39,621
and get you the salary
521
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:41,320
that your spectacular
performance
522
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,628
in the league demands.
523
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:46,634
I like the way that sounds.
Where you been hiding her?
524
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:48,277
She's new. [Chuckles]
525
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,771
She... was a secret.
526
00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:52,112
[Laughter]
527
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:53,331
Weapon.
528
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,470
Dee Dee Thorne, Brett's partner.
529
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,342
His better half, if you will.
530
00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,815
And we've got big plans for you.
531
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,945
Your own clothing
line, action figures,
532
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:07,428
energy drinks and, long
term, you in tailored Armani
533
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:10,921
anchoring the broadcasting
booth at a major network.
534
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:12,872
I do like Armani.
535
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,531
[Laughter]
536
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,655
But not as much at
that thing Brett pitched
537
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,267
about how to set
up my foundation.
538
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:19,358
That was fresh.
539
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:23,012
You pitched my idea?
540
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,062
Well, that's why you
gave it to me, right?
541
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:27,017
I mean, to... [chuckles]
Get the client.
542
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,926
And that would
have done it, too.
543
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:31,240
If I still needed
representation.
544
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,887
[Both] What?
545
00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:34,421
Well, see, I made peace
546
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:36,424
with my old agent
this afternoon.
547
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:39,806
My family reunion's coming
up, and he ismy uncle.
548
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,081
[Laughter]
549
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,903
But we put all
this work into this.
550
00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:45,301
I studied the whole
history of the NFL.
551
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,735
I really am impressed
with the two of you.
552
00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:49,522
And if I leave
uncle Eddie again,
553
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:50,906
hey, you'll be my first call.
554
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,569
[Laughter]
555
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:55,313
I'm supposed to meet my
uncle at my aunt's soon.
556
00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:57,525
Oh, he's gonna
love these Cubans.
557
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,534
[Laughter]
558
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:00,966
[Brett sighs]
559
00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:04,142
Well, that was a fool's journey.
560
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,750
Don't call yourself
a fool, Brett.
561
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,670
[Laughter]
562
00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:09,535
Even though you
lost kadeem Jennings.
563
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:12,326
Uh, I think you mean
we lost kadeem Jennings.
564
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:13,672
I just got here, remember?
565
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:14,811
[Laughter]
566
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:18,812
But you did get close
because of my idea.
567
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:21,940
Yeah. Right.
568
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,680
Fine.
569
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:25,161
The cigars were
a nice touch, too.
570
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,037
All right, maybe
you're not gonna
571
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,913
- completely suck at this.
- [Laughter]
572
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,304
And maybe, you know,
573
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,037
I won't stick my
finger in a socket
574
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:36,258
if, you know, Gus decides
to pair us up together again.
575
00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,309
Well, thanks for the
ringing endorsement.
576
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,184
[Laughter]
577
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,656
Yeah. You're welcome.
578
00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:42,915
[Laughter]
579
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,270
Hi.
580
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:50,617
You know, Dee Dee, this
sports agenting business
581
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,451
is gonna be a lot
harder on you than I am.
582
00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:54,319
I think I can handle it.
583
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:55,980
Which is why I'm
gonna let you call Gus
584
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:57,704
and tell him that you
let kadeem get away.
585
00:19:58,371 --> 00:19:59,651
Dancer: Would you
like a lap dance?
586
00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:01,066
No. No, no. I'm fine.
587
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:02,896
[Laughs] You know
what, though? She would.
588
00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:04,554
I'd what?
589
00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:05,638
[Laughter]
590
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:10,031
Ooh, I like that sweater.
591
00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:11,431
Thank you.
592
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,734
I picked it up
yesterday at neiman's.
593
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:15,171
Think they have it in my size?
594
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:16,387
[Laughter]
595
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:17,906
I'm sure.
596
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:19,909
And you know, they
have this necklace there
597
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:21,701
that'd look great
with those earrings.
598
00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,625
Ok, you guys have
completely ruined this for me.
599
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,087
[Laughter]
600
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,577
[Introductory theme song]
601
00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:33,177
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