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1
00:00:01,697 --> 00:00:02,797
The more submissions
I get for this
2
00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:04,308
talent search,
3
00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:05,715
the more rejections
I have to send out.
4
00:00:05,744 --> 00:00:07,964
Hey, you wanted to
do this damn thing.
5
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,141
Which was a great idea that
6
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:12,186
I totally support.
7
00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,543
Good save.
8
00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:15,062
I just never knew
I'd have to crush
9
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,355
so many people's dreams.
10
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:20,321
Nobody's had any
trouble crushing mine.
11
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:22,241
I've tried to be a
survivor, a big brother,
12
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,806
and america's next top
model. Watch me strut.
13
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:28,774
[Hums]
14
00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:30,424
Strangeé.
15
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:31,568
I'll do the rejection letters,
16
00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:32,766
Mona.
17
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:33,918
You know, I've had
a lot of experience
18
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:36,376
letting the ladies down easy.
19
00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,231
Oh, please! You've had
your tires slashed and
20
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:40,335
your phone cut off twice.
21
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:41,951
That just taught
me to park inside
22
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,262
and never date a sister from
23
00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:45,347
the phone company.
24
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:52,011
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪
25
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:56,525
♪ you're finding
you, I'm finding me ♪
26
00:00:56,621 --> 00:01:00,151
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
27
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,974
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
28
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,242
♪ brings out the joy ♪
29
00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:06,464
♪ inside of me ♪
30
00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:08,764
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
31
00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:11,031
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪
32
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:14,554
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
33
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,859
♪ you and me ♪
34
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:21,556
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
35
00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,134
It's a little cute cafe.
36
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,067
Aw! That's cute. You
have identical Gucci purses.
37
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,869
Oh, trust me,
they're not identical.
38
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:34,270
My Gucci is spelled with 2 os.
39
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:36,045
Well, at least yours
matches your shoes.
40
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,379
I don't know what
I was thinking.
41
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:38,881
And if it makes
you feel any better,
42
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:41,878
this cost so much, my only
other purse is a paper bag.
43
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,231
Heh heh! Oh, I forgot my phone.
44
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,760
I'll be right back.
45
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:46,543
Thanks for
complimenting on Mona.
46
00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:48,368
She doesn't get that much.
47
00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:51,106
But you. You're
5 kinds of fierce.
48
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,328
Just 5?
49
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:53,646
Well, I subtracted one "fierce"
50
00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:56,678
because of the
shoe-handbag violation.
51
00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:58,768
Oh, hey, Adam. What's shaking?
52
00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:00,207
Nothing, thanks to good genes,
53
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:04,174
no carbs, and the
ass-blaster 3000.
54
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,754
Hey, Dee Dee, can
I introduce you to...
55
00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:06,907
Stephanie seymore.
56
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:08,386
You sure know
how to suck the fun
57
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,386
out of introductions.
58
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:11,608
Hello, Dee Dee.
59
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,306
What are you doing here?
60
00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:14,794
Delicious records is a client
61
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:16,183
of the law firm where I had
62
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:17,696
my summer internship.
63
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,619
Oh, you mean the
one you settled for
64
00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:23,364
when I aced you out of
the really good internship.
65
00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:25,447
Yes, how did that go?
66
00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:27,116
I trust all that working
closely together
67
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,247
with your boss didn't cause you
68
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:31,498
too many rug burns.
69
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,066
I love the smell of a
cat fight in the afternoon.
70
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,509
Dee Dee. Well, you
never come here.
71
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:41,293
Why did you come here?
72
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,028
Oh, and I think you
know Stephanie,
73
00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:44,559
who's clearly here to see Adam.
74
00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:47,302
And the plot thickens.
75
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:51,304
Yes. Much like
Stephanie's ankles.
76
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,628
Mona, you never told
me you were working
77
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,130
with Ms. See-through...
I mean Ms. Seymore.
78
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,697
I didn't? Because I
could've sworn I did.
79
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,436
Let's just say I
did and say I did.
80
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:02,047
Well, I just dropped
by to surprise you,
81
00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:04,178
but I guess I'm the
one who's surprised.
82
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:06,491
Don't look so shocked.
You'll get wrinkles.
83
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:10,447
And without your looks,
where would you be?
84
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,708
Still at the head of
our law class helping
85
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,061
the slower students.
86
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:16,890
You should give me a call.
87
00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:18,379
Mona, I just came
by to take you out
88
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:19,239
for a drink.
89
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:20,639
Oh, that is so sweet.
90
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:21,772
I'd love to...
- Great.
91
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,123
But I already have plans.
92
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,513
With Stephanie. How
does that make you feel?
93
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,564
I'm sorry, Dee Dee, but it
94
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:29,643
is work-related.
95
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:30,947
Otherwise, you know
96
00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:32,316
I would never turn
down free appletinis.
97
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:35,132
No problemo. We'll
do it another time.
98
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,035
You two go and enjoy yourselves.
99
00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:40,259
Thank you for understanding.
100
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,570
Looks like you'll
be drinking alone,
101
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:45,487
but I guess you're used to that.
102
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:54,024
[Vacuum cleaner whirring]
103
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:56,673
I heard a lot of
noise! Are you ok?!
104
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,188
Yep!
105
00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,761
Are you sure you're ok?
106
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,068
Yep!
107
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,634
Ok!
108
00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:05,161
[Turns off vacuum cleaner]
109
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,065
You know damn well I'm not ok.
110
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:08,989
I've been slamming
around up here for hours
111
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,554
just so you'd know I'm not ok,
112
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,051
and I can't believe
you're hanging out
113
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:15,207
with Stephanie, ok?
114
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,578
Look, I knew
you didn't like her,
115
00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:17,907
so I tried to avoid her,
116
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,076
but one night a bunch of us
117
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,261
went out to dinner,
118
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,697
and Stephanie
and I got to talking
119
00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:23,113
and we found out we
have a lot in common.
120
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,962
Oh, you're a bourgie
schemer with a mattress
121
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:26,957
on your back?
122
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:29,089
Wow. You really
don't like her, do you?
123
00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:31,141
And I think that you
should respect that.
124
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,917
I do, but I'm my own person
125
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,251
and I like her, and I think you
126
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,544
should respect that.
127
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:36,843
Look, Stephanie is cool,
128
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,098
and she's funny,
129
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:39,300
and I didn't tell you about her
130
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,682
because I didn't
want to upset you.
131
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,758
Too late. I'm upset!
132
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:45,587
And when I'm upset,
I flamenco dance
133
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:46,756
in my golf shoes.
134
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:51,121
Good luck sleeping, sister!
135
00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:00,213
Everybody, gather around!
136
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,520
You gotta see the worst
audition tape ever made.
137
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:04,847
Man, you're making
fun of someone's
138
00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:05,869
hopes and dreams?
139
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:10,087
That's not right. Let's see it.
140
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,749
Ok, his name is Marlon,
141
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:15,183
and he's so bad, it's wrong.
142
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,711
[Off-key] ♪ when
you wish upon a star ♪
143
00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:22,095
♪ oh, unh, your dream
will take you very far ♪
144
00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,851
♪ oh, yeah, oh! ♪
145
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:28,633
♪ And when you
wish upon a dream ♪
146
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:33,379
♪ oh, life ain't what it
always seems, aah... ♪
147
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:34,463
He's getting
148
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:35,858
a rejection letter, right?
149
00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:39,774
Bad as he is, he's getting 2.
150
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,821
♪ Ah, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
151
00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,685
Then Dee Dee implied
that I shouldn't see
152
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:46,780
Stephanie anymore.
153
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:47,868
Crazy, huh?
154
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:50,572
Crazy that you're a traitor.
155
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:52,484
She's your sister, your blood.
156
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:53,439
Her enemies should be yours
157
00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:55,957
and vice versa.
158
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,101
I disagree.
159
00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:58,422
I should like or dislike people
160
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,265
based on my own
relationship with them.
161
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,360
Mona Thorne, I
thought I raised you
162
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:03,889
better than that.
163
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:07,672
Love means hating who
your loved ones hate.
164
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,108
You really believe that?
165
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:10,614
If I didn't, I wouldn't
have had it embroidered
166
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:13,111
on a throw pillow.
167
00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:14,638
And while we're on the subject,
168
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,082
here's a list of
the people I hate.
169
00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:18,904
Memorize it so you
can hate 'em, too.
170
00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,507
I'm surprised it
fit in your purse.
171
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,557
I used a small font.
172
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:26,856
You rang?
173
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:28,521
Yes, I need your help.
174
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:29,705
Finally! Ok, first we toss out
175
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:30,907
all your clothes.
176
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,740
Better yet, let's
burn 'em, and then
177
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:34,828
I'll take you shopping...
178
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:35,826
Ok, this isn't
about my wardrobe!
179
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,877
Really? You sure?
180
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:41,576
Yes. Look, I need you
181
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:44,102
to make a reservation
at the Fairmont tomorrow.
182
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,506
I want to invite
Stephanie and Dee Dee
183
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:46,535
to high tea.
184
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:49,323
Really? You sure?
185
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,889
Yes. I'm not gonna
let either of them
186
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,105
know the other is coming.
187
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:53,354
This way maybe we
can all get together
188
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,069
and stop all the hating.
189
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:57,463
Hmm. How sneaky. How clever.
190
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,937
How can I get invited?
191
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,768
I'm Asian. I love tea.
192
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:05,116
And I'm gay. I love drama.
193
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,967
Well, I guess it might
help to have you there
194
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:09,081
to take some of
the focus off me.
195
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,667
Ooh! I can't wait to
see those two go at it...
196
00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:11,821
Hey!
197
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:17,259
I mean, shake hands
and smile and hug.
198
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,089
Hey, I'm looking
for a Mona Thorne.
199
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,397
Do you have an appointment?
200
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,533
Hey, you're the
guy from the tape.
201
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,526
Marlon struthers, right?
202
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,748
Didn't you get either
of our rejection letters?
203
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,797
Oh, well, yeah.
See, that videotape
204
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:30,063
didn't do me no justice.
205
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:31,755
See, in person, I pop.
206
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,542
Ok? Now everybody gather 'round.
207
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,037
I'm gonna need a mic
stand and somebody
208
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,063
to work the lights.
209
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,391
All right? Oh,
yeah, you can work
210
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,593
the chorus, son, ok?
211
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,625
Right, check this note.
212
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,981
[Off-key] ♪ ooh, oh, oh... ♪
213
00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:45,641
Marlon, Marlon! Marlon! Marlon.
214
00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,266
You seem like a decent
guy, so I'm gonna be
215
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,512
straight with you.
216
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,248
We've received
thousands of submissions.
217
00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:52,299
Some of them
good, some of them...
218
00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:53,914
Yours.
219
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,355
What he means is,
competition is tough.
220
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,087
At least you gave it a shot,
221
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,003
but truth is, you're just not
222
00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:02,128
what we're looking for.
223
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,240
Thanks for keeping
it real with me.
224
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,305
Mm-hmm.
225
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:05,696
So where do you want me to sing?
226
00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:07,049
How about in here? In here?
227
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:08,308
Yeah. Ok!
228
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,230
And go. ♪ ooh, I know... ♪
229
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:12,485
[Adam rattles tambourine]
230
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,651
Mona, it was very sweet
of you to invite me to tea,
231
00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:20,082
but given how we left
things the other day,
232
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,498
I'm a little...
233
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,428
Oh, my god. Who is that
hunka chunka chocolate?
234
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,065
I don't know, but he's coming
235
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,157
this way, so move.
236
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,325
You're blocking my thin thigh.
237
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,341
Hello, ladies. Welcome
to the Fairmont.
238
00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:32,753
Hope you enjoy your
time here with us.
239
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:36,693
We will if you're on the menu.
240
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:38,097
Pardon my sister.
She can be a little
241
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,556
cheesy at times.
242
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,569
Are you on the menu?
243
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,052
Well, as the
manager, I have to say
244
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,572
that I'm not,
245
00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,295
but as a single
brother, I'll let you know
246
00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:48,702
on the way out.
247
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:52,664
Hey, girls.
248
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,099
Did you peep that hunka
249
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,795
chunka chocolate?
250
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:58,493
Adam, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.
251
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,021
This is a surprise.
252
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:02,324
Well, get ready
for a bigger one.
253
00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:04,111
Hey, Mona.
254
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,935
What is she doing here?
255
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:08,463
Mona: I thought if we met
in a relaxed environment
256
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,738
that maybe we
could all get along,
257
00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,376
and by "we" I mean you two.
258
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:14,951
I'm out of here. I
have no interest...
259
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:17,082
I'll stay. Then I'm not leaving.
260
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:23,556
This is nice.
261
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,430
Isn't this nice, Adam?
262
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:29,051
A bit tepid so far,
but I'm hopeful.
263
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,833
So, Dee Dee, how does it feel
264
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,398
to be back at school?
265
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:35,404
Good. I do miss
being at the law firm,
266
00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:36,837
but I don't miss the
267
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:39,234
arrogance, back-stabbing,
and blind ambition.
268
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:41,667
There's plenty
of that at school.
269
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:44,365
It's true. Law
school breeds rivalry.
270
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,243
But that just motivates
you to up your game
271
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:47,944
to use your intellect
as a fine craftsman
272
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,072
uses his tools.
273
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:51,184
Of course, if your tools are
274
00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:52,809
inferior and played out,
275
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,116
makes it tough to compete.
276
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:55,422
Dee Dee, more tea.
277
00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:56,697
Good idea. You
know she'd be lost
278
00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:59,116
without her tea... And "a."
279
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,951
Sandwich anyone?
280
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:06,818
Oops! Sorry! Butterfingers.
281
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,870
I'm sure that was an accident,
282
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:09,956
could happen to anyone.
283
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,830
No problem. Cream?
284
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:16,568
Oh! Oops!
285
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:18,569
Guess I'm clumsy, too.
286
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,141
I dropped my napkin.
287
00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:23,318
Looks like we're all
clumsy. Ha ha ha!
288
00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:25,275
Oh, sorry!
289
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:28,113
Peach tarts are so slippery.
290
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:30,062
Ok, that's enough, you two!
291
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,411
And your tea
wouldn't be complete
292
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:35,161
without dessert.
293
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,683
Look at that. Went
straight to your hips.
294
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:44,639
Here, Stephanie, let
me help clean you up.
295
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:48,261
Oh!
296
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,610
Aah!
297
00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:57,217
All right, next time I try
298
00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,308
to keep the peace,
299
00:10:58,396 --> 00:10:59,476
I'm bringing a towel!
300
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:05,533
[Knock on door]
301
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,193
Look at this. My
dress is ruined,
302
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:10,627
thanks to your little
303
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:13,893
"kum-ba-Yah-can't-we-
all-get-along" tea party.
304
00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,327
You're the one who started
305
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,593
the food fight
306
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,906
and got us kicked
out of the Fairmont.
307
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:21,718
I'm still picking
biscotti out of my bra.
308
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:23,511
No food would've been flung
309
00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:24,695
if you hadn't have gone against
310
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,157
the code of sisterhood,
311
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,910
which is, "if one sister
has a mortal enemy,
312
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,632
the other sister should
stay the hell away
313
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,040
from said enemy."
314
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,626
You are always talking
about the sisterhood code.
315
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,299
Can I buy this book
in a store or do I
316
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:36,410
order it directly from the
317
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,094
alternate reality you live in?
318
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,663
Mona, you cannot be friends
319
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,923
with that peach tart. You
saw how she behaved.
320
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:44,616
Hey, people who live
in glass tea houses
321
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,274
should not throw scones.
322
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:50,228
I find that neither
clever nor amusing.
323
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,148
Stop hanging out with Stephanie!
324
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:53,543
It's either her or me.
325
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:54,815
I can't believe this.
You're giving me
326
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:55,894
an ultimatum?
327
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,406
That's such an
ugly word, but yes.
328
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,370
Look, nobody can
force me to make
329
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,848
this kind of a choice.
330
00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:06,898
Not even my sister.
331
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,377
Ok, if I didn't
actually live here,
332
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,616
that would've had
much more of an impact,
333
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:12,121
but you get my point.
334
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,559
Hey, you need
me to sign for that?
335
00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:17,125
I suppose.
336
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,623
[Dance melody playing]
337
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:28,662
[Off-key] ♪ oh! ♪
338
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,188
♪ Come and see victory ♪
339
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:34,062
♪ in the land of fantasy ♪
340
00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:36,324
♪ loving life, a new decree ♪
341
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:42,537
♪ bring your mind to
everlasting Liberty ♪
342
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,811
♪ ahh, oh, oh ♪
343
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,293
[Shuts off iPod]
344
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,553
♪ Ahh, ahh... ♪ Marlon! Marlon!
345
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,066
Marlon, Marlon, Marlon!
346
00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:50,729
What the hell are
you doing, man?
347
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,253
Oh, well, I took your advice.
348
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,296
I got one of those
extreme makeovers.
349
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,082
Check out the butt
pads. Huh? Yeah!
350
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,226
That's what you're
looking for, right?
351
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,524
That's what you're looking for!
352
00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:03,004
Man, what we're looking for...
353
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,386
Man, what we're looking for
354
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:05,569
is talent.
355
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:06,894
But what about my
chiseled cheeks?
356
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,476
You see these? You see these?
357
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:10,750
Look, I know it's
hard to accept,
358
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,233
but, bro, you're gonna have to
359
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:13,363
rethink your dream.
360
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:14,444
Focus on finding
361
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:15,879
what you're meant to do.
362
00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:19,189
That could be anything.
363
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,626
Well, not anything.
364
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,243
You know what?
I'm sorry for getting
365
00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:24,594
all omarosa on you.
366
00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,173
I'm gonna go. I'm not
gonna come back again.
367
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:28,286
Mm-hmm. All
right. I'm sorry, y'all.
368
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:29,202
Yeah, I know. Ok.
369
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:32,196
Mm-hmm.
370
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,511
Mona Thorne! They're
keeping me away
371
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:36,817
from you, Mona Thorne!
372
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:39,123
Aah! Oh, Mona Thorne, no!
373
00:13:39,209 --> 00:13:40,519
Listen to me sing!
374
00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,732
[Off-key] ♪ ahh, ahh ♪
375
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,780
[Knock on door]
376
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:49,179
Hope you haven't come
with another ultimatum.
377
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,183
Mona, how would
you feel if I started
378
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:53,305
hanging out with your archenemy?
379
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,047
Well, my archenemy
is fog because it
380
00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,138
makes my hair frizz,
381
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,786
so, sure, knock yourself out.
382
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,450
I have no problem with it.
383
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:01,965
I'm talking about the archenemy
384
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,448
you had when you were 10.
385
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:05,318
Don't you remember Cathy pulley,
386
00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:06,719
schoolyard bully?
387
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:09,762
Only every time I see
a peanut butter cup.
388
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:10,869
Mona, voice-over: I
was trick-or-treating,
389
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,723
once again dressed as a pirate,
390
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:16,028
the only costume that
worked with my eye patch.
391
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,896
Well, if it isn't the
one-eyed wimp.
392
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,817
Cathy, uh, what
are you dressed as?
393
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,602
Your worst nightmare.
394
00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:25,466
Now give me your
candy or I'll kick your butt.
395
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,040
What?! I gave you my candy!
396
00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:28,607
That was my trick.
397
00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:31,483
Kicking butt is my treat.
398
00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:33,606
Another traumatic trip
down memory Lane.
399
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,958
Well, grab your passport, missy,
400
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:37,919
because this
trip's not over yet.
401
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:41,007
Guess who I just
happened to run into
402
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,007
after an exhaustive
403
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:47,968
search of the Internet?
404
00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:49,411
Cathy pulley?
405
00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,497
That's right. All grown up and
406
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:54,456
stronger than ever.
407
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:55,585
And can you believe it?
408
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,937
She's my new best
friend! Heh heh!
409
00:14:58,027 --> 00:15:00,857
I've waited a
long time for this...
410
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,093
Wait, wait. I'm not
the scared little girl
411
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,338
you used to beat up.
412
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:06,124
I am now a successful
record executive,
413
00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:08,049
who will gladly hand
over her cash and atm card
414
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:10,041
without so much as a peep.
415
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,646
Mona, look, I'm
really sorry for the way
416
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,087
I treated you.
417
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:18,534
God, I've spent years
in therapy because of it.
418
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:19,853
Yeah, so, you
know, I'd really like it
419
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,565
if we could just put
the past behind us.
420
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,930
[Both] You would?
421
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,322
Oh!
422
00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:30,885
Stop that, stop that!
423
00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,213
What kind of archenemy are you?
424
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:33,275
Shake her down!
425
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,237
I know she's got
426
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,204
at least 20 bucks on her.
427
00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:38,113
You and I can
still be friends, too.
428
00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:39,978
Hey, I'm cool with that.
429
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:45,899
You two disgust me.
430
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,208
And now Mona's still hanging
431
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:49,254
with Stephanie.
432
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,469
Oh, child, my child.
You can desire
433
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:52,599
one's loyalty,
434
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,210
but you can't demand it.
435
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,131
And to issue an ultimatum.
436
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,216
How desperate. How ineffective.
437
00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:00,305
How Phyllis.
438
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,184
Then what am I supposed to do?
439
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:03,675
If you want something,
you have to be
440
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:04,921
clever about it.
441
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,617
Can I tell you a
story? Can I stop you?
442
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,095
The place: The
monterey montage suites.
443
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,276
The event: Some
random relative's
444
00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:14,102
tasteless wedding.
445
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,020
My sister Vivian
and I opted to jacuzzi
446
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:18,055
after closing down the cash bar.
447
00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:19,591
That's when I first
saw your father.
448
00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:21,424
Handsome, trim,
449
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:23,032
and looking like
the million dollars
450
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:25,422
he was soon to be worth.
451
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:27,806
Is there a point here somewhere?
452
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,159
Patience, Dee.
453
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:33,509
Anyway, I knew by
her quiet, "ooh, daddy,"
454
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,691
that viv wanted him,
too, so I slyly suggested
455
00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:39,088
that she put on a sexy bikini to
456
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:40,302
really catch his eye.
457
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:41,760
She ran off to
change, and by the time
458
00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,133
she returned,
459
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:44,349
Charles and I were gone,
460
00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:46,308
off beginning our
Jewel-encrusted
461
00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:49,306
fairy tale.
462
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,709
Aunt Vivian
must've been furious.
463
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,233
She never said so.
Perhaps because she knew
464
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,357
that Charles and I were
meant for each other.
465
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:59,240
Or maybe she simply
admired my cunning.
466
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:00,602
Or maybe it's because she hasn't
467
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,631
spoken to you since.
468
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:05,887
Well, of course, there's that.
469
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,421
Nice ensemble, Phyllis.
470
00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:09,164
It's amazing how
au courantthey're
471
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,245
getting in plus sizes.
472
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,034
Almost as amazing
as you being able
473
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,469
to teeter through doors in those
474
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,335
stiletto pontoons.
475
00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:17,856
Just so you know,
476
00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:19,879
I think Dee Dee was wrong
to give Mona an ultimatum.
477
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,738
The hell she was!
478
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:22,843
If you can't count
on your sister
479
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:23,867
to hate who you hate,
480
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,872
who can you count on?
481
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,107
I guess when
you're as universally
482
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,263
loved as I am
483
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:29,871
you can't relate
to such negativity.
484
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,271
I am not negative.
485
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,054
And just for that,
you moved up 3 slots
486
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,449
on my hate list.
487
00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:36,812
Which is hard to do
because you were
488
00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:38,358
already number one.
489
00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:43,414
Hey, Stephanie. Thank you
490
00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:45,107
for inviting me.
491
00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:47,634
I didn't invite you.
You invited me.
492
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:48,938
Hi, guys.
493
00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:51,204
Sorry I had to lie
to get you both here.
494
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:53,067
It's a trap! You
go left, I'll go right.
495
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:56,249
She can't follow
us both. Come on!
496
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:57,246
Actually, I could,
497
00:17:57,337 --> 00:17:59,297
but don't make me prove it.
498
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:00,912
Look, I wanted to make up
499
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:02,212
for the disastrous
500
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,128
tea party by having a nice one.
501
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,393
Wow. That's really big of you.
502
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:07,606
I'll say.
503
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:11,915
I know. Often I
impress even myself.
504
00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:14,273
So what caused you
to change your mind?
505
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:16,274
[Exhales] I realized
that even though
506
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:17,486
we're sisters,
507
00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,194
it was unfair of me to impose
508
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,452
my negative view of
Stephanie onto you,
509
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,185
even if it was dead on.
510
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:26,107
Sorry. Force of habit.
511
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,062
But I'll try and hold
the insults if you will.
512
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,590
You mean just for today, right?
513
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:32,944
Oh, let's not get crazy here.
514
00:18:33,024 --> 00:18:34,204
Now, see, that's the kind
515
00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,327
of half-hearted,
516
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,288
uneasy truce I've
been hoping for.
517
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,767
Excuse me. Ms.
Thorne, this is for you.
518
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,078
If this is your phone number,
519
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:43,234
you could've been a little more
520
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,432
subtle about it.
521
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:45,934
Well, actually, it's
from all of us here
522
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,040
at the Fairmont.
523
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,906
Oh!
524
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,091
"As a result of your
previous behavior,
525
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,204
"the management of the Fairmont
526
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,309
cordially invites you
527
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,794
to immediately
vacate the premises."
528
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:58,829
And what if I'm not ready to go?
529
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,140
Then I have to escort you out.
530
00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:07,056
I have been a menace.
531
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,186
Sorry to sip and run.
532
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:13,459
So, Shawn, how do you
stay in such great shape?
533
00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:15,073
Well, I do run a little bit.
534
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,114
Ooh!
535
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,979
Heh! Ok, only Dee
Dee could be kicked out
536
00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:21,420
of a restaurant and
end up with a date.
537
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:23,158
So you see my problem with her.
538
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:31,257
Ah! Adam, call security.
539
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,784
Marlon, I thought you promised
540
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,217
you wouldn't come back here.
541
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:36,133
Excuse me? I know it's you
542
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:39,218
under this ugly
disguise. Come here!
543
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:44,618
Take it off! Get it off!
544
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:46,395
Hey, somebody
called for security?
545
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,709
Yeah, this nutcase
here is mar...
546
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:51,536
Marlon? Excuse me.
547
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,315
You know what? How about
548
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:54,629
I just say sorry
549
00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:56,015
and give you a little scratch
550
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:57,627
for your troubles?
551
00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:58,978
Hmph. Tsk!
552
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,587
Next time, call fed ex.
553
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,806
Ok, what the hell
are you doing here?
554
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,340
My job. See, you told
me to find a new dream,
555
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,434
and I did. I'm a rent-a-cop now.
556
00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:12,253
And soon I'll join the force
557
00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:13,951
and become full-fledged five-o.
558
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,608
Then I work my way up to dick.
559
00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:22,438
That does mean detective, right?
560
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,915
Not in your case.
561
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,197
Woman: Woohoo! [Giggles]
562
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:53,797
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