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1
00:00:02,089 --> 00:00:03,919
Putting together
a mobile for drew
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,184
is such a good idea.
3
00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:06,566
I'm glad I thought of it.
4
00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:10,488
Yeah. Especially
since it was my idea.
5
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:14,575
Oh, Mona... Always
keeping score.
6
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:18,106
What's important is that
it's a gift from the heart.
7
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:20,932
But I'm pretty
sure I thought of it.
8
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,151
Anyway when icame
up with the idea,
9
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,940
I read that babies
like contrasting colors,
10
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,025
like black, white and red,
11
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,514
so we could hang these
shapes on the mobile.
12
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,214
Ohh!
13
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,902
I kind of went a different,
more personalized, better way.
14
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:39,998
I thought it might be fun
to put pictures on blocks.
15
00:00:41,432 --> 00:00:44,702
These are all photos of you!
16
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:47,533
That's real educational.
17
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,012
Actually it is.
18
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:50,832
You see how all my outfits are
19
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,920
perfectly color-coordinated?
20
00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:54,489
You aren't born
with great taste.
21
00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:57,096
You have to learn it.
22
00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:59,057
In fact, why don't
you keep that one?
23
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:01,146
I'll make drew another.
24
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:07,632
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪
25
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:12,419
♪ you're finding
you, I'm finding me ♪
26
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:15,767
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
27
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,818
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
28
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:19,083
♪ brings out the joy ♪
29
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,986
♪ inside of me ♪
30
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,352
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
31
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:26,872
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪
32
00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:30,386
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
33
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,571
♪ you and me ♪
34
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:37,097
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
35
00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:41,709
Hello hello!
36
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:43,147
Dee Dee: Hi! Hi, girls.
37
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,633
Lima bean, we
came by to invite you
38
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:46,413
to the baby's
christening next Sunday.
39
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:47,907
Here's an invitation,
but you can't keep it.
40
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:49,153
We're running low.
41
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,899
I got as far as
"you are cordially."
42
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,052
And I'd like the congregation
43
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:55,220
to meet you before the big day,
44
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,725
so come to church
with us tomorrow.
45
00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:59,902
Oh, I don't know.
It's been a while.
46
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:02,469
Then you can come
and pray for forgiveness.
47
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,467
Good point.
48
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,949
Now, all we have
left to do is buy
49
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,208
the christening gown,
50
00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:08,001
pick the floral arrangements,
51
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,784
and hire a photographer.
52
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,478
Would you stop spending
money long enough
53
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:14,656
to select a godmother, please?
54
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:15,983
You mean you
haven't picked one yet?
55
00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:18,085
No. We've chosen his godfather,
56
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:22,141
a good friend of your dad's
with a stellar credit rating.
57
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:23,579
But we want his godmother
58
00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:26,145
to be someone who will
love drew unconditionally,
59
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,583
who'll really be a positive
influence in his life.
60
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:31,060
Both: How about me?
61
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,681
Did you 2 plan that?
62
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:36,592
Well, um, this is
a bit of a surprise.
63
00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,128
I tell you what.
Your father and I will
64
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,638
give it some serious thought.
65
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:43,644
Kids like me. I don't
mind getting dirty.
66
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:47,428
Kids like me, too.
I buy them stuff.
67
00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:49,035
Well, we should be going.
68
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,575
I have to pick up the
mother-of-the-baby dress.
69
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:53,295
I still say you don't
need another dress.
70
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:55,910
I went through 6
hours of labor pains,
71
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,221
and you missed the birth.
72
00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,657
To the shopping Plaza we go.
73
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:04,331
So what do the hip
and holy wear to church
74
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:07,398
these days anyway?
75
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:08,541
Spencer: It's casual.
76
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,103
Pretty much come as you are.
77
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,150
Just don't come like that.
78
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:13,795
I want to make a
good impression.
79
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:15,979
I know I'm the best choice
to be drew's godmother.
80
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:17,165
I don't want to
be disqualified on
81
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,107
a fashion technicality.
82
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,770
Why do you want
to do this anyway?
83
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,223
I mean, if you're a godmother,
that means you're gonna
84
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,376
to have to buy gifts.
85
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,025
And if you're a sister
and a godmother,
86
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:27,338
he's gonna expect 2 gifts...
87
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,434
Every birthday for
the rest of his life.
88
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:32,913
Don't even get me
started on Christmas.
89
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:35,165
I think Mona would
make a great godmama.
90
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,958
Thank you.
91
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:39,482
It's just a way for me to be
even more connected to drew.
92
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:40,437
Too short?
93
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:44,184
Yup. It's perfect.
94
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,357
Don't worry. I'll be
95
00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:46,622
right by your side tomorrow.
96
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:47,794
You'll be fine.
97
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:48,919
You're going, too?
98
00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,291
I'm a member
of faithful central.
99
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,840
We have a really cool pastor.
100
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,357
Even when his wife
passed last year,
101
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,500
he stayed positive
102
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:56,412
and inspired a lot of people.
103
00:03:56,497 --> 00:04:00,147
A widower?
104
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,550
Oh, that poor, lonely
man of the cloth.
105
00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:05,163
What a shame.
106
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,285
Is he good-lookin'?
107
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:07,506
He's tall, he's black...
108
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:10,155
Good enough.
109
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,510
Ma!
110
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:12,839
What? You have a
boyfriend. Why shouldn't I?
111
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:14,861
And I do love a man in uniform.
112
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,390
It all began with mo Lewis.
113
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,433
He was a sailor with
white pants so tight,
114
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:19,429
I could hardly...
115
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,700
Hey, hey, hey!
116
00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:23,443
Why don't you come
to church with us?
117
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:24,574
If you like what you see,
118
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,045
I'll introduce you.
119
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:26,955
I can't believe you're
going to church just
120
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:28,089
to meet a man.
121
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,710
That is not the only reason.
122
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:35,142
I happen to be a
deeply spiritual person.
123
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:37,151
Who needs to buy a
tasteful but tight dress
124
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,453
before the mall closes.
125
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:43,464
Thank you for coming, baby.
126
00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:44,894
Well, lightning
hasn't struck yet,
127
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:48,810
so so far so good.
128
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:49,767
Phyllis!
129
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,384
It's Sunday morning.
130
00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:54,415
Shouldn't you be at home
clipping cat food coupons?
131
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,081
Spencer invited
me, and I'm going to
132
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:57,165
hold my tongue,
133
00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:58,519
since I am in god's house.
134
00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:00,082
That's mature of you, Phyllis.
135
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,609
Yes, mature. That means old.
136
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:03,833
And you're rubenesque.
137
00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:06,482
That means fat.
138
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:07,697
Come on, Mona.
139
00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:08,935
I want to introduce
you around before
140
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,090
the service starts.
141
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,009
Ok, but I don't want
to draw attention.
142
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,793
I just want to blend in.
143
00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:15,177
Oh, look, everyone!
We have a visitor!
144
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:18,931
Ohh! Welcome!
145
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:20,971
That's him, isn't it?
146
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:22,496
Yeah, so what do you think?
147
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:25,543
I like him. Let's move.
148
00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:26,939
Good morning, pastor Adams!
149
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,152
Good morning, Spence.
150
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,630
I brought a visitor today.
151
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,900
Phyllis Thorne, this
is pastor David Adams.
152
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:33,423
Missphyllis Thorne.
153
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:34,767
Welcome to faithful central,
154
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:36,156
sister Thorne.
155
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:37,598
Oh, please, call me Phyllis.
156
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:38,965
You know, Spencer has
told me so much about you
157
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,250
and your church,
158
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,340
and so far I'm getting
a really warm vibe.
159
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:44,340
Ahem!
160
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,561
Oh! Uh...
161
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:46,869
Sister Thorne is a great cook.
162
00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:48,775
She makes a mean
barbecue chicken,
163
00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:50,480
Greens and a cornbread dinner.
164
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:53,527
And her red velvet cake
melts in your mouth, too.
165
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,274
Oh, Spencer, quit going
on and on about my
166
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,825
red velvet cake,
167
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,971
especially when I'm known
for my banana pudding.
168
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:00,624
Mmm!
169
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,158
I could whip you up a
little something sometime.
170
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,057
Oh, don't go
through any trouble.
171
00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:05,206
I couldn't help but overhear.
172
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,234
Do we have a visitor?
173
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,628
Why, yes, we do.
174
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:09,185
This is Phyllis Thorne.
175
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:11,681
Sister Thorne, this
is Josephine baylor.
176
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,072
She's the eyes and ears of
177
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:14,585
faithful central.
178
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:16,808
Well, let me show you
around, tell you more
179
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:17,728
about our church.
180
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:18,862
Come on.
181
00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:19,943
Pastor, don't worry,
182
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,381
she's in good hands with me.
183
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,008
I'm just a humble servant
doing the lord's will.
184
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,564
Come on, baby. Come on.
185
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:28,076
Now listen up, heathen.
186
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,320
I know what you're here to catch
187
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,685
and it ain't the holy ghost.
188
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,221
Excuse me?
189
00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,964
I've had my eye on
you ever since you
190
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,045
strutted through the door
191
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,180
in that jezebel dress.
192
00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:39,046
Pastor Adams is taken.
193
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,877
Oh, are you and
the pastor a couple?
194
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:43,655
No, but i'm wearin' him down.
195
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,121
And I spent too much
money on church hair
196
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,623
and high heels to...
197
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:51,370
Oh, praise the lord,
girl. Praise the lord.
198
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,154
To lose it all to
some lonely interloper
199
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:55,168
tryin' to slither her way
in here like the serpent
200
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:57,547
in the garden.
201
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:58,854
So you're not datin'.
202
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,440
At least that's what I
get between the amen
203
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,943
and the hallelujah chorus.
204
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,121
Which means pastor is fair game.
205
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:07,097
It also means you better
take 2 steps back before
206
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:09,912
I lose my religion.
207
00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:12,784
You know, they say
Satan comes in all forms.
208
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:16,697
Even size 14.
209
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:18,204
I think I just joined
the handbell choir
210
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,140
and signed up to teach
vacation Bible school.
211
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:22,492
Don't leave me alone again.
212
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,972
Sorry. I was just
trying to avoid Rufus.
213
00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:28,063
Oh! Here he comes.
Damn! Ooh! Sorry, lord.
214
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:29,753
Don't make eye contact.
215
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,890
Mornin', sister Dee Dee!
216
00:07:31,973 --> 00:07:33,153
Hey, Rufus!
217
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,575
I didn't see ya.
218
00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,191
You know i'm a Deacon now.
219
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:38,331
And every Deacon
need a pretty little
220
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:41,074
wife by his side.
221
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:44,286
The Deacon and Dee Dee!
222
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:47,076
It has a nice ring to it, huh?
223
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:50,122
Yeah. I'll pray on that, Rufus.
224
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,248
Bye.
225
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:55,561
Why is god testing me?
226
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:58,739
Well, Josephine told me
everything I need to know.
227
00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:00,996
I am looking forward to
being involved with you...
228
00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:03,219
I mean, your church. The church.
229
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:06,438
Good! I'm sure we
could use you here.
230
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:12,139
Use me up. Use... Me..Up.
231
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:15,889
Oh, baby's first pop-up Bible.
232
00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:17,113
Isn't this sweet, Charles?
233
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,932
It's a pre-christening
gift for drew.
234
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,371
See, you pull the little tab,
235
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:26,547
and baby Jesus pops
up from the manger.
236
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:27,676
Dad, big Dee Dee,
237
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:28,678
I just wanted you to know
238
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:29,899
I bought drew the perfect
239
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:30,987
christening outfit
240
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:32,205
from little angels.
241
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:33,694
Ohh, I love that place.
242
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:36,434
It's the only store
that sells baby Gucci.
243
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,036
Charles: Nice work, sweetheart.
244
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:41,126
The fewer stores that woman
gets to go into, the better.
245
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:47,136
Would you excuse
us for a second?
246
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:49,352
You never mentioned
anything about buying
247
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,101
drew's christening outfit.
248
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:52,292
I don't have to
tell you everything,
249
00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:55,104
miss pop-up baby Jesus.
250
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:56,096
What?!
251
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:57,057
It's obvious you're trying
252
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,315
to score points
253
00:08:58,407 --> 00:08:59,967
so they'll pick you
to be the godmother.
254
00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:01,317
The only thing that's obvious
255
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,540
is that you're obviously
doing the same thing.
256
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,410
Well, then I guess it's on.
257
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:06,421
May the best sister win.
258
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:09,852
That's right. I will.
259
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,420
Ma, I'm gonna grab
a seat next to dad,
260
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,163
so Dee Dee can't sweet-talk him.
261
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,028
Sit where you want.
262
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,508
I'm going to stay here
263
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:19,168
so the pastor can get a
sneak peak at these gams.
264
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:22,344
At least we're here
for the right reasons.
265
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:27,088
[Knock on door]
266
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:27,955
Hi!
267
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,045
Hey, Dee Dee.
268
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:30,000
Is Mona up here?
269
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:32,141
No, I haven't seen her.
270
00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:35,753
Whatcha doing?
271
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:36,836
Oh, look!
272
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,190
A gift!
273
00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:41,063
Freshly wrapped.
274
00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:42,625
Can I help you with something?
275
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,672
No. Just hangin'.
276
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,588
So what kind of present
did you buy drew?
277
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,153
Oh, I got this cute
278
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:51,159
little sterling silver
rattle, engraved with...
279
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,422
Wait a minute.
280
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:53,944
I never said it was for drew.
281
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,088
Yes, you did. No, I didn't.
282
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,136
No, you didn't.Yes, I did.
283
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,290
Told ya.
284
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,430
I don't have time for games.
285
00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:03,082
You're here spying
for Mona, aren't you?
286
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:04,167
What?!
287
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,432
No! Now, that's crazy talk.
288
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,438
I would never... ok, i'm
up here spying for Mona.
289
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,347
Stop staring at me!
290
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,565
I knew it! Get out!
291
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:12,694
But she was threatening me
292
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:13,832
with the silent treatment.
293
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:16,657
And you know how I hate that.
294
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:17,916
Aw, come on, Dee Dee.
295
00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:22,138
I don't like being
caught in the middle.
296
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:26,020
Still friends?
297
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:28,193
You women are really
getting on my nerves!
298
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,510
I'm glad the craft
store was open
299
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,733
so we can finally
finish our mobile.
300
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:40,863
Yep.
301
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,124
You know, I don't
think I've ever ridden
302
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,000
in your new car.
303
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:49,672
You can't throw trash
out of the hole in the floor
304
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,482
like your old one, though.
305
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:55,003
And I miss the hot dust
flying in from the vents
306
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,149
and that wire that used to...
307
00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:58,437
Yeah, I remember! Thanks.
308
00:10:58,527 --> 00:10:59,697
[Click]
309
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:00,879
[Radio plays]
310
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:01,964
[Clicks off radio]
311
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:03,099
Hey!
312
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:05,624
Look, can we stop
skirting the issue
313
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:06,968
and just talk?
314
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:09,097
This whole godmother
competition thing
315
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:10,630
is just petty.
316
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,723
We're obviously both qualified.
317
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:13,802
True.
318
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,627
Some more than others.
319
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,073
What's that supposed to mean?
320
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:21,156
Look, I just think I
would be a better choice
321
00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:23,155
because I'm more
responsible, resilient
322
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:24,157
and independent
323
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,248
than you are.
324
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:27,076
There. I said it.
325
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:28,084
[Click] [Radio plays]
326
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,335
[Clicks off radio]
327
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,647
And I think I'd
be a better choice
328
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:34,744
because I've been exposed
to more worldly experiences
329
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,094
than you have.
330
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:37,263
There. I said it, too.
331
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:38,518
[Clicks on]
332
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:39,740
[Clicks off radio]
333
00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:41,149
Dee Dee, you got
to name our brother.
334
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,478
What more do you want?
335
00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:44,201
And you got to help
bring him into the world.
336
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,785
What more do you want?
337
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:49,529
Besides, you're
only his half-sister.
338
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:51,411
[Brakes squeal]
339
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:52,763
What are you doing?
340
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,172
Well, since I'm
only a half-sister,
341
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:57,501
how about I only take
you halfway home?
342
00:11:57,586 --> 00:12:00,106
Ha ha ha ha ha!
You're funny, Mona.
343
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:01,627
Ha ha ha!
344
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,851
I'm glad you think so. Get out.
345
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:08,160
[Horn honking]
346
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:14,521
This is just wrong!
347
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:20,223
And this is my new
automatic window.
348
00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:22,614
♪ Don't waste your time on me ♪
349
00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:23,868
♪ you're already ♪
350
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,164
Well, it sounds to
me like Dee Dee is still
351
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:29,395
dealing with some issues
352
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:30,547
regarding her
relationship with the baby
353
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,225
and her position in the family.
354
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:33,726
This lashing out is
merely a by-product
355
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,103
of her insecurities.
356
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,099
Ok, ma, I appreciate
what you're saying,
357
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:38,501
and all your points are valid,
358
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:40,853
but I don't need a
therapist right now.
359
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:41,934
I need my mom.
360
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:45,158
Oh, thank god!
361
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:46,352
Who does that
silver-spoon-sucking brat
362
00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:47,554
think she is?
363
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:48,636
And what did I tell you?
364
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:49,990
I'll tell you what I told you.
365
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,623
I told you not to get
close to those Dee dees.
366
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,010
They're just backstabbin',
husband-robbin',
367
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:57,913
godson-stealin'
hyienas in high heels.
368
00:12:57,994 --> 00:12:59,234
The nerve of that
girl, calling my baby
369
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:01,126
a half-sister.
370
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:02,865
Well, technically, it's true,
371
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,826
but that's a big part
of why I want to be
372
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,394
drew's godmother.
373
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,921
I want to be
special in his life.
374
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:11,005
Honey, you are special.
375
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,364
You're his sister.
376
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:13,443
And it doesn't matter
377
00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:14,681
whether you're a half, a fourth,
378
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:15,966
a third, or an eighth.
379
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,796
That boy is gonna
love you no matter what.
380
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:20,714
And Dee Dee
can't take that away.
381
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,410
Thanks, ma.
382
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,187
[Knock on door]
383
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:26,811
Hey thornebirds,
what's crackin'?
384
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:28,463
Just the man I wanted to see.
385
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,086
What have you dug up on
Josephine baylor for me?
386
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,123
Well, I'm not one
to get involved
387
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:33,332
in church gossip,
388
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:34,441
but I heard it from
my boy, whose mom
389
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,765
sings in the choir,
390
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:36,878
who heard from a
friend who washes
391
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,083
the communion cups
392
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:38,945
that Josephine
threw away the pie
393
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:42,075
you left for the pastor.
394
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,649
Not my special
make-you-wanna-jump-up-
395
00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:44,555
and-slap-your-mama
396
00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:46,909
sweet potato pie?
397
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,320
Actually, I heard
Josephine's been
398
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:52,402
calling it satanpie.
399
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:54,533
She messing with my food?
400
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:56,706
And she calls herself
a god-fearing woman?
401
00:13:56,792 --> 00:14:00,932
Well, she's gonna be a
Phyllis-fearing woman.
402
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,319
[Knock knock knock]
403
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:05,318
Pastor Adams?
404
00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:07,019
Oh, hi. Lo there.
405
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:08,207
Hey, I thought a
hard-working man
406
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,408
like yourself
407
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,060
might appreciate a
few homemade goodies.
408
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,461
Oh, well, sister Thorne.
409
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,237
But I am on a strict
diet right now, so...
410
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,901
Are those brownies?
411
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,896
Yeah, and those are
my amazing grace
412
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:19,898
apple tarts
413
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,989
and my mount sinai macaroons.
414
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:24,648
Ooh, well, since
you came all this way,
415
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,473
it would be a sin
not to eat them.
416
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:28,521
[Both laugh]
417
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:29,996
Well, well-y, well!
418
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:31,386
Oh.
419
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:32,999
Sister Thorne.
420
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:34,349
You seem to be popping up a lot
421
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:36,308
around here lately.
422
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:37,567
Well, I heard a rat
423
00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:38,749
destroyed the pie I left,
424
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,194
so I decided I
would drop these off
425
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:41,400
in person.
426
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:44,881
Well, sister Thorne, you
know how people talk.
427
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,361
Not me... some people.
428
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:52,671
People say that you're
a sinner from wayback.
429
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,811
Now, I'm sure those
rumors aren't true.
430
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,134
One person couldn't
possibly have done
431
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,066
all those...
432
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:59,937
Unclean things.
433
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:01,729
Well, my conscience is as clear
434
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:04,993
as the lemony glaze
on my bundt cake.
435
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:06,448
Which will go well
with the pot roast
436
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:07,490
I'll be serving at my place
437
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:08,945
tomorrow night.
438
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:13,218
Huh! Sounds like
sinner talk to me.
439
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,353
We make no
judgements, of course.
440
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:16,866
That's right.
441
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,399
But I do offer private
spiritual counseling
442
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:24,753
and I am free for the next hour.
443
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:28,186
Well, my heart is heavy laden.
444
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,015
Would you mind
giving us a little privacy?
445
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,933
Excuse me! I have so many things
446
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:35,458
that I want to get off my chest!
447
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,552
Dee Dee, what
happened to your stiletto?
448
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:41,073
Oh, I had to walk
about a half a mile
449
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,157
in them today.
450
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:43,592
It's a long story.
451
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:48,161
Those are $400
shoes. I have time.
452
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,381
It's no big deal. Mona
made me walk home
453
00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:52,341
after I said something
that made her mad.
454
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:54,129
Oh, something about
her fashion sense?
455
00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:55,524
No.her gloomy outlook?
456
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,956
No.her tacky mother?
457
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:01,094
Her posture? Her tacky mother?
458
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:02,867
No, no, no.
459
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,492
Well, what's left?
460
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:05,932
We were arguing
over who would make
461
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,618
a better godmother for drew,
462
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:09,965
and I said that she
was only his half-sister.
463
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,356
Dee Dee Thorne,
464
00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:12,968
that's an awful thing to say.
465
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,059
I'm shocked,
466
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:17,107
and I'm from the theater.
467
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:18,263
I was just stating the facts.
468
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,891
I didn't mean it in a bad way.
469
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,849
And what other way is there?
470
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:26,988
Uh, the not-so-bad way?
471
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,993
I have to say,
472
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,945
I am truly disappointed.
473
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,183
After all the work
you've done on your
474
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,558
relationship with Mona,
475
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,004
you undermine it
with a thoughtless
476
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,431
half-sister comment?
477
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:39,957
Uhh!
478
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:43,962
Wow. I guess I have
some apologizing to do.
479
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:46,176
I should think so.
480
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:47,416
And it was a futile
argument anyway,
481
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:48,551
since neither one
of you are going
482
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:49,662
to be godmother.
483
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:50,877
What?
484
00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:51,836
Well, honey, that's
what I came over
485
00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:53,193
to tell you.
486
00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:54,383
Your father and I
seriously considered it,
487
00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:55,844
but ultimately,
488
00:16:55,927 --> 00:17:00,187
we decided on my
evil sister vivien.
489
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:05,150
Why? So she can send drew
hate mail at Christmas, too?
490
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:06,681
Well, maybe drew's christening
491
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:09,254
will bring about
some family healing.
492
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:10,442
Besides, she'll never show up,
493
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:13,344
and I'll look like
the giving one.
494
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:15,383
Hey, my sister drama
has been going on
495
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:18,209
a lot longer than
yours. Heh heh heh.
496
00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:22,296
"How many times
should I forgive my brother
497
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:24,299
"who has sinned against me?
498
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,871
Up to 7 times?"
499
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,257
But Jesus answered and said,
500
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:29,180
"no, not up to 7 times,
501
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:31,345
but 70 times 7"!
502
00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:33,181
Amen, pastor!
503
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:35,489
Amen, amen!
504
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:41,666
Uh, let's use our inside
praise voice, 'Kay?
505
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,147
Mona, I want to apologize.
506
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,149
Won't you listen to...
507
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,550
Shh!
508
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:49,942
But I really...
509
00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:52,285
Shh! Shh!
510
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:55,065
Would you please
tell Mona I'm sorry?
511
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,641
[Whispering] Dee
Dee says she's sorry.
512
00:17:56,684 --> 00:17:58,084
[Loudly] Can you
tell her to save it
513
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,120
for someone who cares?
514
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:02,909
Morning, sister Dee Dee.
515
00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:05,044
Rufus, why aren't
you sitting up front
516
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,557
with the other deacons?
517
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:10,260
Well, I prefer to dwell
amongst the people.
518
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:11,750
Plus, they said my
suit was so loud,
519
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:15,789
it was hurting
the lord's feelings.
520
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:18,357
Amen to that.
521
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:21,795
Did you pray about
our possible union?
522
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:24,023
As a matter of fact, I did,
523
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,853
and god said I could do better.
524
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:29,412
A child adds a new dimension
525
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:30,939
to the family unit.
526
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:33,332
His parents Dee Dee and Charles,
527
00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:35,546
his sisters Dee Dee and Mona,
528
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,116
will always find something new
529
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,293
to laugh at or admire.
530
00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:41,509
Mona, I don't think of you
531
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:43,988
as my half-sister. We're family.
532
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:45,429
And I hope that
you can forgive me
533
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:46,945
for what I said.
534
00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:47,868
If I could take it back,
535
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,132
I would.
536
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:50,515
It was the most
hurtful, lowdown,
537
00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:52,127
despicable, deplorable...
538
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,218
Ok, Dee Dee, I
got it. You're sorry.
539
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:56,679
And it's not like I haven't said
540
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,270
hurtful things about you.
541
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,364
Of course you have. Like what?
542
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:05,009
Not in front of god.
You're forgiven, ok?
543
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,450
Thanks, Mona.
544
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:10,886
May this child grow
545
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:13,015
in health of body and mind,
546
00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:15,458
and may he make life pleasant
547
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:19,675
for all those whose
paths he crosses.
548
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,857
I now present drew
Christian Thorne.
549
00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:34,035
Mmm, sister Thorne,
this sweet potato pie
550
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,999
is terrific.
551
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,177
Make you wanna jump
up and slap somebody.
552
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:41,774
Uh, pastor, there's something
553
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:43,142
I have to tell you.
554
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,705
There's a certain woman
who's been showing you
555
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:47,713
a lot of extra attention lately.
556
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:51,795
And this woman's motives
may not be entirely innocent.
557
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:54,276
I mean, she may have a
teensy bit of an agenda.
558
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,847
Then this woman should know
559
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,464
that since my wife passed,
560
00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,625
I've taken a vow of celibacy.
561
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,643
And I'm sure Josephine
will be fine with that.
562
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,637
Bye!
563
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,729
[Door closes]
564
00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:14,078
Well, throwing yourself
at the pastor again, huh?
565
00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:17,039
No, he only has eyes for you.
566
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,428
So go get him, sister girl!
567
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:19,351
You just go!
568
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:20,865
Girl, you better...
569
00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:22,198
You better walk that walk, girl!
570
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,141
And don't take no for an answer!
571
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,443
Hee hee hee hee.
572
00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,118
Woman: Whoo hoo! [Giggles]
573
00:20:49,168 --> 00:20:53,718
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