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00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:10,011
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:14,185
KID CAPRI: It's the
Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam.
3
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:17,761
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
4
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:46,570
Ladies and gentlemen
do me a big, big, big favor.
5
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:51,921
Put your hands together
for my main man, Mr. Martin Lawrence!
6
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,404
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
7
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:03,022
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
8
00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:07,721
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
9
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:13,990
Yeah. Whassup?
10
00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:17,770
Oh, y'all look good.
Y'all ready to have a good time tonight?
11
00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,596
Hey nigga,
chill your ass out.
12
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,694
Ooh! You got
ears like me!
13
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,433
You're my cousin.
14
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:26,874
Hi. Sit your ass
down now.
15
00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:29,572
Hey, how you doin'?
Hey, white...
16
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:34,491
♪ But you got jungle fever, you got jungle fever, you... ♪
17
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:37,656
How ya doin'?
18
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,136
How did I miss ya?
19
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,316
How the hell
did I miss her?
20
00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:43,062
Ha, she's...
Don't get nervous now.
21
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,063
Be proud of your shit.
She gettin' red, too.
22
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,975
You're like, "Oh, fuck..."
23
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:51,285
"I told you
I didn't wanna come."
24
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:53,458
"I didn't know anything
about the Def Jam."
25
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,034
[AUDIENCE LAUGH]
26
00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:56,161
"God!"
27
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,383
[LAUGHS]
28
00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:58,811
We just fuckin...
We're family.
29
00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:00,637
We're all family
and welcome.
30
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,505
[LAUGHING]
31
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:05,432
No, don't be
embarrassed.
32
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,393
I know when you walked in,
you was bad, too.
33
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:09,171
You was like, "Uh-huh."
34
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:15,273
"Reservations for two."
[LAUGHS]
35
00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:20,269
Oh shit. [LAUGHS]
36
00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:22,324
Nah, I'm just saying.
Don't be nervous now, that's cool.
37
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,749
We all...
We family. Look at...
38
00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:26,926
Damn she...
Why you got your eyes all...
39
00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:29,152
You just.
40
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,242
You all right?
41
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,800
I'm good.You look good, too.
42
00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:35,373
[SIGHS]
43
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,326
Sorry, pussy just throws me.
You know, I...
44
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,554
Look at this
motherfucker. Hey!
45
00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:45,687
How ya doin'?
46
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:48,820
Nah, you coolin', you know,
coolin' hangin' in there. Yeah.
47
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:51,214
Hey! Whatever, you know.
48
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,128
[LAUGHS]
49
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,873
What happened?
You can talk to me. I'm your motherfucker.
50
00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:58,053
You can talk to me.
No, it looks good though, man.
51
00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,270
I'd like y'all to give
my man...
52
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,919
I notice him
from the back.
53
00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:02,363
He's here.
Malcolm Jamal Warner.
54
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:04,229
A round of applause
for comin' out.
55
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:08,061
Whassup, man?
You got a little dog with you?
56
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,450
[LAUGHS]
57
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,233
Malcolm bought
a little dog to the show.
58
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,058
[YAPPING]
59
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:17,625
What are you gonna laugh...
[YAPPING]
60
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:19,455
Whassup?
61
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,553
All right,
take the spotlight off him, spotlight man.
62
00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:24,382
You're embarrassing him.
63
00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:26,901
Good. Look at the brothers
over here. Whassup, man?
64
00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:28,245
You got gold shit
in your mouth.
65
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:30,781
How much that cost?
66
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:32,469
A lot of
motherfucking money.
67
00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:35,256
Knock your goddamn teeth
out for some gold teeth? Huh?
68
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,392
What's that you got?
You got like a baby Jheri curl.
69
00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:38,444
That's real nice.
70
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,134
That's his real hair?
71
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,090
That's your real hair?Yeah.
72
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:45,786
I'm fucking amazed.
73
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,364
Women like motherfuckers
with good hair.
74
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:48,971
I don't know what
that shit is, man.
75
00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:52,281
My sister is married
to a motherfucking convict,
76
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,579
but married him
because he had good hair.
77
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,405
I told her, "What the fuck
are you doing?"
78
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:57,933
She's like, "Uh-huh,
you don't understand."
79
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,937
"That motherfucker love me."
80
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,291
I said, "What the fuck
do you mean..."
81
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:05,941
"Okay, I'm gonna
tell you the truth."
82
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,904
"That motherfucker got
some good ass hair."
83
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,683
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
84
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:12,427
Any time we see black people
though, right, with good hair,
85
00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:14,779
we always make
some goddamn excuse, don't we?
86
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:17,559
You know, we say,
"Damn baby, that's your hair?"
87
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:18,905
She say, "Yeah,
that's all me."
88
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,614
Said, "Damn,
that's real pretty.
89
00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:22,261
"Just good...
Nice hair."
90
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,655
"Uh, well, you know
we got Indian in our family."
91
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:27,399
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
92
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:28,881
"Uh-huh."
93
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,530
"On our mother's...
On her side, uh-huh."
94
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:34,265
Get the fuck outta here!
[LAUGHS]
95
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:36,747
[EXCLAIMS]
96
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,539
[CLEARS THROAT]
97
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:42,193
You're cute.
Very pretty woman.
98
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,850
I hate a pretty
motherfucking woman.
99
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,810
'Cause they're
hard to leave, man.
100
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,473
You know what I'm sayin'?
You can't walk out on the motherfuckers, right?
101
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,418
You know? What!
102
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:55,987
"I wasn't fuckin',
and if you can't understand me, fuck it!"
103
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,994
Hey, shit.
104
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,300
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
105
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:07,393
"Why you doin' this to me?"
106
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:10,570
[LAUGHS]
107
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:14,135
That shit is hard.
108
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:17,233
So look y'all.
I'm gonna bring out my man.
109
00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:21,233
First comin' to the stage.
Give it up for Vince D!
110
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,720
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND LAUGHING]
111
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:29,721
Whassup, New York?
112
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:32,034
All the fellas give it up
for the ladies in the house. They lookin' good.
113
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:33,720
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
114
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,598
I love me
a good lookin' woman,
115
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:38,029
but you know what?
It seems like nowadays y'all, women,
116
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:41,946
y'all just startin'
to want too goddamn much.
117
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,433
Fellas say those
last three words.
118
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:45,913
Too goddamn much.MEN: Too goddamn much.
119
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:47,224
I can't hear you, fellas.
120
00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:49,439
AUDIENCE: Too goddamn much.
121
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:52,699
How many women here tonight
want a man with sensitivity? Clap your hands.
122
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:53,793
[WOMEN CLAPPING]
123
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,751
Just think about it
124
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,440
all you women
just clapped your hands. Just think about it.
125
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,267
One late night.
You and your man layin' in bed.
126
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,965
Somebody break in
the fuckin' house.
127
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,411
Your man's sensitive.
128
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,061
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
129
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:08,764
Y'all both get
your ass whooped.[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
130
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:12,503
Say it fellas!AUDIENCE: Too goddamn much.
131
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,066
Can't do
the regular shit anymore.
132
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,722
You lay on your back
and we lay on top of you
133
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:19,897
for two or three minutes and
get the shit over with.
134
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:23,214
Now they want it all
like this now.
135
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:26,172
They want hang from shit now.
136
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:29,081
They wanna wrap around
shit now.
137
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:31,217
You know what shit I hate
the worst, though?
138
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,310
That standin' up shit.
139
00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:36,919
They want you to hold
they big ass up now and make love to her.
140
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,571
Can't hold their own ass up
no more.
141
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:43,746
Which is cool, right?
For about two or three minutes.
142
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,234
You know you workin'
and workin',
143
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,535
you know, like liftin' weights
and working so your muscles so long they get frigid?
144
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,503
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
145
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,152
No fuck that.
Get yo ass on down here.
146
00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:02,470
Say it fellas.BOTH: Too goddamn much.
147
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,379
And the worst
shit of all.
148
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,514
1990s.
149
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:07,556
You got to
150
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:11,691
eat coochie now.
151
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:13,649
You eat that stuff, man?
152
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:17,127
MAN: Yeah.
153
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:18,955
You eat
that stuff, man?MAN: Yeah.
154
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:21,093
You eat... You eat...
155
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,266
Yeah, I know you do
'cause you got some shit dried up right there.
156
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,882
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
157
00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,582
Wipe that shit off!
Get a napkin. Wipe that shit off.
158
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:33,021
That shit can kill you, man.
Stop doin' that shit.
159
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:35,501
It almost killed me.
160
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,982
Now, I tried that shit
for the first time last week. I'm serious.
161
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,419
I ain't lyin'.
162
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,250
I went down, right?
It was cool. Kinda salty.
163
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:47,081
Had this twang taste to it.
164
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:50,028
I went down.
You know how you do it.
165
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,338
And I came and stuff was
like everywhere.
166
00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,524
I didn't want to just get up
in the middle of sex
167
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,351
and just you know
wipe it off.
168
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,518
She knew then I didn't know
what I was doin'.
169
00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,345
So you know
how I got it off, fellas?
170
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,532
I went on her legs, hey!
171
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,749
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
172
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:08,098
But it almost killed me
though, man. I'm serious. It almost killed me.
173
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,659
We got... I got back.
We start makin' love and it was so good.
174
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,617
I start callin' out
my own name.
175
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:16,056
Said, this is Vince D.
This is Vince D. I'm talkin' to her, right?
176
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:19,244
I got a piece of hair
stuck in my throat.
177
00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:21,411
I was like, "Baby..."
[GAGGING NOISES]
178
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:22,677
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
179
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,159
[GAGGING]
180
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:25,679
[MOUTHING]
181
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,902
[GAGGING][AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
182
00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,254
I'm up here dyin', right?
183
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:33,213
She thought that shit
was so good.
184
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,081
She got up
and went to the phone and called her girlfriend.
185
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:36,213
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
186
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,954
"Shanika.
187
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,865
"Girl, lemme tell ya,
I got some good stuff."
188
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:42,831
And you said, "Nah,
girl, your stuff was good."
189
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,350
"Girl, I let him eat some,
he over there dyin' right now."
190
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,744
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
191
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,697
You guys been great.
Vince D.
192
00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:51,485
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
193
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:01,575
You guys havin'
a good time so far? Did you enjoy him? Vince D.
194
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,718
Give him another
round of applause.
195
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:07,370
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
196
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,936
Sweetie, is it the light in
your face?
197
00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:12,423
'Cause you just like...
198
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:13,774
And I'm thinkin' that ain't
all your hair, now?
199
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,164
Get into the show. Is it?
200
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,596
It's your hair?Yes.
201
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,993
Let me see. Fuck that.
Come here.
202
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,386
Fuck that shit.
203
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:23,740
No man, No man,
I'm checkin' now, man. Fuck that.
204
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:26,222
Okay. [LAUGHS]
205
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,441
Brother like,
"Pull the tail."
206
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,920
"She got a buckle in the
back of that motherfucker."
207
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,700
"Man, go to the back!"
208
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,267
All right, coming to the
stage is my man, yo.
209
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,624
He's most definitely from
the old school.
210
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:41,355
He's from L.A.
by way of St. Louis. Give it up for my man.
211
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:42,576
Funny motherfucker.
212
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,885
Rodney Winfield.
213
00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:46,982
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
214
00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,950
Fuck it.
We got to do it real fast.
215
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:02,250
I ain't got
but seven minutes.
216
00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:04,947
Fuck that.
It take me seven minutes to get my dick out.
217
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:06,945
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
218
00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:09,867
I know it. I just wanted
to wake you up.
219
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:13,483
But niggas is back
makin' movies again like a motherfucker now.
220
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:15,345
We makin' movies
every motherfucking week.
221
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:17,697
We make a movie now.
222
00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:19,707
White people thought
we was gonna make
223
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:22,099
Gone With the Windour
first motherfucking movie.
224
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:25,893
Ain't that a bitch?
If we kept doin' it, we'd get it right.
225
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:30,109
And now 'cause
white people make movies, to make themselves heroes.
226
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,071
Like Tarzan.
227
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:34,369
One white motherfucker
went to the jungle and took it over.
228
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,416
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
229
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:40,551
Huh. Swing through the
motherfucking trees and holler and shit.
230
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:41,896
Wrestle with alligators.
231
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,985
A nigga been livin' in
the jungle all his life
232
00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:46,384
and couldn't say hello
to a motherfucking monkey.
233
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:49,168
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
234
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,003
Ain't that a bitch?
235
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:53,041
And I don't know where
they got niggas to play in the movie, too.
236
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:55,607
They be goin'
through the jungle with two bedroom apartments
237
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,175
on their motherfucking head.
238
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:59,621
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
239
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,619
Then they made
a scary motherfucking movie, The Exorcist,
240
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,012
about a little white bitch
that get attacked by the devil.
241
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:07,445
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
242
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:10,282
It was supposed to be scary.
They had to have a nurse in the show with white folk.
243
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:13,151
They be passin' out,
"Ooh, the devil!"
244
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,854
Niggas was in there
eatin' popcorn, "Get the devil, bitch!"
245
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,722
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
246
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,904
"Go ahead.
Get the bitch."
247
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:22,200
And this little white girl
got possessed by the devil and she passed...
248
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:24,156
And she go, "Ugh!"
249
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:26,285
And spit on her momma
and shit like that.
250
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,037
That's why my sister
couldn't have never got possessed by the devil
251
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,039
'cause soon as she
spit on my momma,
252
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,081
that would have been
it for her
253
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,697
and the
motherfuckin' devil both.
254
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:39,388
Go home and spit
on a black momma and see what happen to your ass.
255
00:11:39,437 --> 00:11:42,047
The devil be
out on Broadway or some motherfuckin' place.
256
00:11:42,092 --> 00:11:43,662
[LAUGHS]
257
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,363
You see, niggas never
get possessed by the devil
258
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,920
'cause we got
too many problems already.
259
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:50,748
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
260
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,357
'Cause I was...
As soon as my momma would've walked in the house,
261
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:56,758
my momma would've said,
"Girl, what the fuck's wrong with you?
262
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:59,763
"Got all that green shit
around your mouth."
263
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,496
"You been down there
fuckin' with them Mexicans again, ain't you?"
264
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:04,897
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
265
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,771
[CHUCKLES]
266
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:09,293
"You got guacamole
all over the motherfuckin' house."
267
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:12,907
[CHUCKLES]
268
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:16,779
I'm sorry Mexicans.
I love y'all.
269
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,703
You don't have to have
no green card. I wouldn't give a fuck.
270
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:23,349
I hope they bring
a hundred thousand more of you motherfuckers over here
271
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,794
'cause somebody gotta
wash these cars
272
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,752
and pick this fruit.
273
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,660
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
274
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:33,615
And I ain't gonna do
a motherfucking thing never in life
275
00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,615
'cause there's one thing
I found out about working.
276
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,797
It take a whole
motherfucking day.
277
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:40,114
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
278
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:41,800
Think I'm busy?
I got a job.
279
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,068
I'm lookin' for one. [LAUGHS]
280
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,110
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
281
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,769
And then they made Super Fly.
282
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,510
I don't give a fuck
what the black preacher said.
283
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,992
Kiss my ass.
I love Super Fly.
284
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,303
It was about
a cool motherfucker.
285
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:58,469
Snorted cocaine all day,
kicked the police ass,
286
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:01,606
had a custom Cadillac
and didn't go to the Army.
287
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,350
I love the motherfucker.
288
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:06,392
If I was the president
I'd make it a law
289
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:08,437
where every motherfucker
had to watch it once a week.
290
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:10,493
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
291
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:12,308
But the only thing
about that movie is it sent a lot of niggas
292
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:15,056
to the penitentiary
tryin' to do that shit for real.
293
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,928
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
294
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:19,490
I didn't even know
about cocaine till I saw the movie,
295
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:20,667
but I'm glad I saw it.
296
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,632
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
297
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:25,541
Now I'm snortin' everything
I can get my nose on.
298
00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:29,977
Salt [SNORTS].
Flour [SNORTS]. Baking powder [SNORTS].
299
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:34,506
Guy gave me some
pineapple coke last night. Massengill douching powder.
300
00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:36,252
My nose ran all night.
301
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:37,603
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
302
00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:39,782
I had to put a mini-pad
on the motherfucker.
303
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,339
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
304
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:43,125
[CHUCKLES]
305
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:46,000
That girl goin',
"Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm."
306
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:49,702
You'd be mad if you
didn't need one this month, would ya?
307
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:51,531
And this nigga
with you be mad, too.
308
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,049
[LAUGHTER]
309
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:55,363
Especially
if you haven't fucked yet.
310
00:13:55,399 --> 00:13:57,139
[LAUGHTER]
311
00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:01,804
[AUDIENCE HOOTING]
312
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,503
But you know what?
313
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:08,980
Nobody called up ABC, NBC
and CBS and tell 'em
314
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:11,552
to take Kotex commercials
off televisions.
315
00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:15,549
They on television
all day long. I can't even eat my dinner.
316
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,423
I be eat the little greens
and hamhocks
317
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:18,895
and I put a little vinegar
on 'em
318
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,555
and the commercial
come back on,
319
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:23,378
"We done put
the vinegar back in the douche."
320
00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:25,907
Now, what nigga
can eat lunch after that?
321
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:27,782
Then they got
another commercial
322
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:29,043
with a lady be runnin'
in slow motion.
323
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,905
She said, "Get a mini-pad."
324
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:35,347
"You can swim in it.
Comes in three different sizes."
325
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,306
"It got
a plastic strip on it."
326
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,664
Then they got a
lady with a great big ass turning.
327
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,754
"Makes me look like I
ain't wearin' nothing."
328
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,453
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
329
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:46,709
Ain't that a bitch?
330
00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:51,105
I got a big TV, too.
Her ass just fall out on the living room floor.
331
00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:53,201
I go up and feel
the motherfucker.
332
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:57,238
But one thing I wanna say,
333
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:59,767
you look beautiful tonight.
334
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,511
God damn it,
you look good,
335
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:03,862
and we glad of that
because it's hard to do a show
336
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,733
in front of a bunch
of ugly motherfuckers.
337
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:06,994
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
338
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:09,126
Normally ugly
people just pay extra money
339
00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:12,819
sand rush their ugly ass
right down front, but you look nice.
340
00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:15,221
I swear you do.
341
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:17,442
But I also must admit
there are a few ugly people
342
00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:20,221
sprinkled here
and there around the room.
343
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:23,787
And you ugly motherfuckers
know who you are.
344
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:26,575
And the guy
sitting next to you knows you ugly, too.
345
00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:28,751
Look at everybody lookin'.
No, you the ugly motherfucker.
346
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,756
But don't mess
with no ugly guy.
347
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,280
He'll kick your ass
'cause he's mad 'cause he's ugly.
348
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:36,885
They wanna put a scar
on your ass
349
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,676
so you be
uglier than they are.
350
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,980
You never saw a nice lookin'
person start a fight.
351
00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:43,897
Always the ugly
motherfucker.
352
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:48,213
I think it ought to be a law
against two ugly people fuckin'.
353
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:51,861
You'll bring another
ugly motherfucker in the world.
354
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:55,817
And then they ain't got
nothin' to do and then you got crime.
355
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,827
You don't believe me?
Carry your ass down to jail.
356
00:15:57,869 --> 00:15:59,999
Nothin' down there
but ugly motherfuckers.
357
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,736
I was the nicest
lookin' guy there.
358
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:05,086
I'm out of here,
ladies and gentleman.
359
00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:08,008
Thank you very much.
Right on, baby.
360
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,014
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
361
00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:22,239
Yeah, some of y'all,
he right though, are ugly and don't know it.
362
00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:24,895
But y'all beautiful inside.
363
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,330
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
364
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,416
You know, ugly motherfuckers
sittin' like,
365
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,732
"He so crazy."
366
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:32,555
[LAUGHS]
367
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,520
All right.
368
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:36,949
Y'all havin'
a good time?
369
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,346
AUDIENCE: Yeah!Good.
370
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:41,258
Well, comin' to the stage
is my man.
371
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:44,444
Very funny motherfucker.
Y'all already know that.
372
00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:48,701
He's from Chicago, Illinois.
Give it up for Bernie Mac.
373
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:51,486
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
374
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,199
Thank you, God damn it!
375
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:05,679
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
376
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,240
I know that
first thing you say,
377
00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:09,717
that's a black motherfucker
that came out here.
378
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:12,337
I know I'm a black
motherfucker. I know I'm black.
379
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:14,469
I started to really shock
y'all this evening, you know?
380
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:18,081
I started with all black,
and some blue contact lenses.
381
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,874
I'd have fucked y'all up.
382
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,219
You know
you a black motherfucker
383
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:23,738
when you put
fingerprints on charcoal.
384
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:26,091
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
385
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,088
Let me tell you
something, now.
386
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,527
Let me tell you
something, now.
387
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:35,533
I'm married.
I been married for 14 years,
388
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,746
been with my wife
for 17 years.
389
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:40,575
And you know something, men?
Thank very much.
390
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:43,154
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
391
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,672
But you know
something, men?
392
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:48,756
When you first get married,
your wife is happier than a sister with a bag of dicks.
393
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:50,717
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
394
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:58,643
Singin' and everything.
395
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:00,596
Man, when I first got married,
my wife was givin' me pussy by the pound.
396
00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:04,473
Now I got to steal pussy.
397
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:07,128
If you don't know how
to steal pussy, I'm fixin' to teach you.
398
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:11,387
You gotta wait
till she go to sleep.
399
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:14,138
You're watching television,
you're watchin' her.
400
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,700
You're watching television,
you're watchin' her.
401
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:20,397
You're watchin' television,
and you're motherfucking watchin' her.
402
00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:23,797
And they sleep.
Stealin' pussy is like war.
403
00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,631
You gotta sneak up on it.
404
00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:28,149
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
405
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:33,237
And when they make
they move, they roll over.
406
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,329
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
407
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,811
Then you take these
two fingers
408
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:42,157
and you pull
the cover off.
409
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,598
Now they lyin' on they back.
410
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:45,344
Men, they ain't asleep.
411
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:48,475
You gonna run into
a problem, the panty.
412
00:18:48,518 --> 00:18:50,868
When you start to
remove the panty, it gets stuck right here
413
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,699
'cause she's on her back.
414
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:56,961
But she'll help you.
She'll do something like, [SIGHS].
415
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:59,225
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
416
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:10,845
Now you gotta slide 'em down,
you see?
417
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:14,198
You start slidin' 'em
down and now you gonna run into another problem
418
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,020
when you get 'em at the ankle.
419
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,287
When you just slide 'em off.
Now you gotta...
420
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:19,771
The legs are closed.
421
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:22,860
She'll help you
once again. [SIGHS]
422
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,560
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND LAUGHING]
423
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:29,599
Now fellas, when you start
to penetrate
424
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:31,556
and you get half of it in,
425
00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:33,555
they gonna play
they don't feel nothin'.
426
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:36,087
But when you get it in,
stir it like coffee.
427
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,350
Stir it like
motherfucking coffee.
428
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,362
You know like that spoon
be in that cup,
429
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:46,139
clink, clink.
Go clinka, clinka, clinka, clink.
430
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,615
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
431
00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:50,284
Stir that motherfucker
like coffee.
432
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:53,889
Now, when you get it in
and you start stirrin' like coffee,
433
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:56,851
that's when she open her eyes
and ask you a fucked-up question.
434
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,151
"Whatcha doin'?"
435
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,017
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
436
00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,639
"You know
what the fuck I'm doin'."
437
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:08,027
You ever notice
something, man?
438
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:12,246
How singers,
how they take original songs and make a remake?
439
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,338
And the remake sounds better
than the original song?
440
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:17,608
I wrote this song
my motherfucking self
441
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:21,735
called Take Me Out
to the Ball Game.
442
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,220
The black version.
443
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:32,581
[BEATBOXING]
444
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:36,022
[AUDIENCE VOCALIZING]
445
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:44,590
♪ Take...
446
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:46,114
♪ I said take, take...
447
00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:49,117
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS][BEATBOXING]
448
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,430
♪ I said take, take, take
449
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:53,468
[BEATBOXING]
450
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:55,731
♪ Me out
451
00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,125
♪ To the ball
452
00:20:59,954 --> 00:21:02,094
♪ Game
453
00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:04,314
♪ Take
454
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,220
[BEATBOXING]
455
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,310
♪ I said take, take
456
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:12,656
[BEATBOXING]
457
00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:13,966
♪ Me out
458
00:21:14,011 --> 00:21:15,141
[BEATBOXING]
459
00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:16,486
♪ With the crowd
460
00:21:16,536 --> 00:21:18,666
[BEATBOXING]
461
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:23,106
♪ Now buy me some peanuts
462
00:21:23,151 --> 00:21:25,201
♪ Buy me some peanuts
463
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,680
♪ Buy me
464
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:31,030
♪ Buy me, buy me,
buy me, buy me, buy me
465
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:32,292
♪ Take...
466
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,344
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
467
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:36,250
I'm Bernie Mac!
468
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,335
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
469
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,700
Yo. Comin' to you.
470
00:21:53,747 --> 00:21:55,007
We gonna keep
the laughs rolling,
471
00:21:55,052 --> 00:21:57,532
so coming to you from
Cleveland, Ohio.
472
00:21:57,577 --> 00:22:00,277
He's a powerfully,
funny black man.
473
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,759
Give it up for my man,
Steve Harvey.
474
00:22:04,192 --> 00:22:06,982
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
475
00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:14,550
Hey, y'all!
What's happening?
476
00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,204
All right. How y'all?
How's everybody...
477
00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:19,507
How y'all doin'?
I mean, how you really doin'?
478
00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:21,505
[LAUGHS]
479
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:24,077
This has gotta be
an ass-puckerin' experience for you tonight, ain't it?
480
00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:25,775
Yeah, they everywhere,
ain't they?
481
00:22:25,822 --> 00:22:27,082
Yeah.
482
00:22:27,128 --> 00:22:28,388
You know
how you feel right now?
483
00:22:28,434 --> 00:22:30,174
That's how we feel
all the time.
484
00:22:30,218 --> 00:22:32,088
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS][LAUGHS]
485
00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:37,789
It's a lot of pressure
being black ain't it?
486
00:22:37,834 --> 00:22:38,924
It's hard.
Man, it's a hard job.
487
00:22:38,966 --> 00:22:40,876
You can't get
no relief nowhere.
488
00:22:40,924 --> 00:22:42,494
I don't care where you go.
489
00:22:42,535 --> 00:22:45,275
You can go home.
You can cut your TV on. It's pressure.
490
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:46,800
I went home.
I tried to get a little relief.
491
00:22:46,843 --> 00:22:49,853
Gonna watch sports,
sports channel. Cut it on.
492
00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:55,420
The man said, "We bring to you
America's favorite sport, the America's Cup."
493
00:22:56,940 --> 00:22:58,460
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
494
00:22:58,507 --> 00:23:01,897
Now, who the hell
did they check with on this?
495
00:23:01,945 --> 00:23:04,245
They say yachting is
America's number one sport.
496
00:23:04,295 --> 00:23:06,465
You don't ever see
none of us yachting, do you?
497
00:23:06,515 --> 00:23:08,555
Huh-huh.
After that first big boat ride,
498
00:23:08,604 --> 00:23:10,914
huh-uh, we kind of lost
our taste for sailing.
499
00:23:10,954 --> 00:23:13,444
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
500
00:23:16,786 --> 00:23:18,956
That's a little slavery humor
right there.
501
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,530
See, what we sayin' is
before we get on anybody else's boat,
502
00:23:24,577 --> 00:23:26,747
we want to know
where it's goin',
503
00:23:26,796 --> 00:23:29,446
and more important than that,
what time it's due back.
504
00:23:29,495 --> 00:23:30,965
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
505
00:23:32,976 --> 00:23:34,756
You know, hey man.
I kid about racism,
506
00:23:34,804 --> 00:23:37,024
but racism
is a serious problem in this country, man.
507
00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:38,807
It's the number one thing we
got happenin'.
508
00:23:38,852 --> 00:23:41,292
And you know who
keep racism alive in this country?
509
00:23:41,332 --> 00:23:43,772
The media.
It's the media, man.
510
00:23:43,813 --> 00:23:46,163
The media got it goin' on.
511
00:23:46,207 --> 00:23:48,377
And you know they do it to us,
512
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:49,857
'cause they don't put
nothin' but negative stuff about us in the news.
513
00:23:49,906 --> 00:23:51,646
Mike Tyson stay in the news.
514
00:23:51,691 --> 00:23:54,481
That poor brother can't get
out the news.
515
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,130
I'm a Mike Tyson fan.
I love Mike Tyson, man.
516
00:23:57,174 --> 00:24:01,534
I love Mike.
Mike, hang in there brother, wherever you at.
517
00:24:01,570 --> 00:24:03,750
'Cause Mike Tyson bad.
518
00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:06,620
See, but all his trouble
started with the media right here in New York.
519
00:24:06,662 --> 00:24:09,142
It started right
here two years ago.
520
00:24:09,186 --> 00:24:11,226
He been in trouble
ever since that day.
521
00:24:11,275 --> 00:24:12,965
You remember the incident.
522
00:24:13,016 --> 00:24:18,846
He got in a fight in New York
with Mitch Blood Green.
523
00:24:18,892 --> 00:24:23,902
Right here, got in a fight
in a store late night over a leather coat.
524
00:24:23,940 --> 00:24:29,470
He hit Mitch Green in the eye.
Mitch was on the news for two weeks.
525
00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:30,691
Telling the same lie.
526
00:24:32,558 --> 00:24:37,738
"All I did was,
I walked in the store,
527
00:24:37,780 --> 00:24:40,830
"and then Mike Tyson
hit me in the eye."
528
00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:42,920
And then he pulled his
glasses off.
529
00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:46,829
Did you see his eye?
His eye was just hanging out his head.
530
00:24:46,876 --> 00:24:49,136
And a funny thing
happened at that moment.
531
00:24:49,183 --> 00:24:51,193
His eye took over
the interview.
532
00:24:51,228 --> 00:24:54,058
His eye was on TV going,
"Oh, I'll tell you what happened.
533
00:24:55,885 --> 00:24:58,885
"First of all, Mitch is lyin'.
534
00:24:58,932 --> 00:25:03,152
"Mike Tyson walked
in the store minding his own damn business.
535
00:25:03,197 --> 00:25:09,157
"We walk in behind him.
Me and Mr. Big Mouth right here.
536
00:25:09,203 --> 00:25:13,513
"Now, we in the store mad
at the champ 'cause he got money and we ain't."
537
00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:14,505
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
538
00:25:16,819 --> 00:25:18,869
"No, we ain't got no money.
539
00:25:18,908 --> 00:25:22,258
"We had some money,
we'd have bought a pair of safety glasses.
540
00:25:22,303 --> 00:25:29,223
"Next thing I know,
Mr. Big Mouth calls Mike Tyson a sissy.
541
00:25:29,266 --> 00:25:30,696
"Aw, hell no!
542
00:25:33,140 --> 00:25:35,580
"I yell upstairs
to that stupid ass brain,
543
00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:37,671
"'Tell Mitch to shut up.'
544
00:25:37,710 --> 00:25:39,930
"Too late. Mike heard him.
545
00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:41,893
"I look down
and it's on the way.
546
00:25:41,931 --> 00:25:45,371
"The heavyweight champ's
fist is comin' towards my face.
547
00:25:45,413 --> 00:25:47,983
"I just said,
'Lord, lord, lord.'"
548
00:25:48,024 --> 00:25:51,254
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
549
00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:54,378
"Now, it's approaching
my face, but I feel pretty good
550
00:25:54,422 --> 00:25:58,432
"'cause it looks like
he gonna hit us in our big ass mouth.
551
00:25:58,469 --> 00:26:00,729
"Well, hell!
That's right where he ought to hit us,
552
00:26:00,776 --> 00:26:03,166
"but I look up and it's comin'
right at me, and I say..."
553
00:26:03,213 --> 00:26:05,833
[SCREAMS]
554
00:26:05,868 --> 00:26:08,918
"Next thing I know, pow!
God damn! Right in the eye.
555
00:26:08,958 --> 00:26:10,608
"And that's what the hell
happened."
556
00:26:10,656 --> 00:26:12,696
That's it for me, y'all.
I had a good time.
557
00:26:12,745 --> 00:26:14,825
Remember Redd Foxx.
558
00:26:14,877 --> 00:26:16,097
Thanks a lot.
559
00:26:16,139 --> 00:26:18,579
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
560
00:26:25,279 --> 00:26:28,109
[BEAT PLAYING]
561
00:26:30,501 --> 00:26:31,981
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
562
00:26:32,721 --> 00:26:34,331
Hey, hey, hey.
563
00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:37,155
Yo. You guys have truly
been a great audience.
564
00:26:37,204 --> 00:26:41,254
I want to bring my man out
who made it possible. Russell Simmons.
565
00:26:41,295 --> 00:26:43,685
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
566
00:26:48,302 --> 00:26:51,002
God bless y'all.
Thanks for coming out. See you next week.
567
00:26:51,044 --> 00:26:54,134
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
568
00:26:54,177 --> 00:26:56,477
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]
569
00:26:56,527 --> 00:27:01,077
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