subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Bachelor.Party.Vegas.2006.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French Download

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,473 [gavel pounding] 2 00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,641 (man) THESE ARE THE BACHELOR PARTY 10 COMMANDMENTS. 3 00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:11,312 [man speaking] 4 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,530 [man groaning] 5 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,701 [woman moaning] 6 00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:38,772 [tires screeching] 7 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,245 (man) GOT IT? 8 00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:45,579 *[Saturday Night by Ozomatli playing] 9 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,115 * DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE 10 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,350 * GET READY FOR THE SATURDAY NIGHT * 11 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,885 * DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE 12 00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:54,522 * GET READY FOR THE SATURDAY NIGHT * 13 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,924 * DIP, DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE 14 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,959 * GET READY FOR THE SATURDAY NIGHT * 15 00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,329 * DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE 16 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,463 * GET READY 17 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,365 * UH, IMAGINE 18 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,600 * WAKIN' UP, SOLIDARITY IS EVIDENT * 19 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,036 * HARMONY MOVES, TIME IS IRRELEVANT * 20 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,239 * PEOPLE, THE PLACES, THE MESSAGE BASIC * 21 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,574 * FROM RAISE FISTS TO SIT-INS, RESIST THE CHANGE * 22 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:16,177 * PEEP THE SCENARIO, TO THE FUTURE BRO * 23 00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,646 * 2020 AND SOME NUMBER A YEAR AGO * 24 00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,681 * PEOPLE ROSE UP, GOVERNMENTS FROZE UP * 25 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:23,217 * WORLDWIDE BLOCK PARTY, EVERYBODY SHOWS UP * 26 00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:25,786 * UP ON ROOF TOPS, GHETTOS AND HOT SPOTS * 27 00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:27,988 * PEOPLE CELEBRATIN' NO MORE SOULS ROT * 28 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,524 * NO MORE BLOODSHED OVER FALSE DEFICIT * 29 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,760 * EVEN HIP-HOP GETS A FUCKIN' FACE-LIFT * 30 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,129 * THE LATEST FASHION, STOCK MARKET'S CRASHIN' * 31 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:37,531 * IT'S SATURDAY, TIME TO GET THE PARTY CRACKIN' * 32 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,400 * AND IF THE TIME AND THE DAY IS RIGHT * 33 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,069 * THE REVOLUTION WILL BEGIN THIS SATURDAY NIGHT * 34 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:44,172 * DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE 35 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,474 * GET READY FOR THE SATURDAY NIGHT * 36 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,809 * DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE 37 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:51,312 * GET READY FOR THE SATURDAY NIGHT * 38 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:53,647 * DIP, DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE 39 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,749 * GET READY FOR THE SATURDAY NIGHT * 40 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:58,452 * DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE 41 00:01:58,519 --> 00:01:59,787 * GET READY 42 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,322 * HEY, HEY, HEY 43 00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:03,991 * WHEN IT DROP, STORES OUGHTA STOP ON ME * 44 00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:06,494 * SHOP TILL YOU DROP, HOMEY THAT'S NOT ME * 45 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,862 * RUSH AN ATTACK FROM THE BACK ON 3 * 46 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,232 * STOP ON ME, SHOUT "WORLD PEACE!" * 47 00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,634 * SLIDE FROM THE BLOCK, LOVE PEACE, OH PLEASE! * 48 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,769 * WE DON'T NEED BOUNCERS OR POLICE * 49 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,538 * IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT, IT'S NOTHIN' BETTER * 50 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,440 * SPREAD THE WORD THAT WE COMIN' TOGETHER * 51 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:20,608 * SO COME ON WITH ME NOW 52 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,310 * OH, AND YOU DON'T TRY 53 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,178 * GET READY FOR THE SATURDAY NIGHT * 54 00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:27,147 * DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE 55 00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:29,583 * GET READY FOR THE SATURDAY NIGHT * 56 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,819 * DIP, DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE 57 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,687 * GET READY FOR THE SATURDAY NIGHT * 58 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,557 * DIP, DIVE, SOCIALIZE * 59 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:42,162 [seagulls cawing] 60 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,904 (woman on P.A. system) THE WHITE ZONE IS FOR IMMEDIATE LOADING 61 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:53,474 AND UNLOADING OF PASSENGERS ONLY. 62 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,376 [people chattering] 63 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:57,711 (man) YOU ARE EVERYTHING YOU CAN BE. 64 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,082 THANK YOU. 65 00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,984 (Nathan) WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT, Z BOB. 66 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,886 IT IS NO BIG DEAL. 67 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,456 IT'S REALLY BAD LUCK. I PROMISE YOU, SOMETHING BAD'S GONNA HAPPEN. 68 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,657 [alarm buzzing] 69 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,024 UH, YOU'RE FINE, SON. 70 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,463 [alarm buzzing] 71 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,566 STEP BACK AND REMOVE ANY METAL OBJECTS FROM YOUR PERSON. 72 00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:22,736 (Eli) OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE--THEY'RE BOARDING GROUP 2 ALREADY. 73 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,338 HE'S GONNA MISS IT. THAT'S IT, MAN. 74 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,006 HE'S GONNA MISS HIS OWN BACHELOR PARTY. 75 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,675 SHUT UP, MAN! 76 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,176 HE'S NOT GONNA MISS ANYTHING. 77 00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:32,145 YOU'RE GONNA GET TO SEE YOUR PRECIOUS HUEY NEWTON GUY. 78 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,682 WAYNE. WAYNE NEWTON. 79 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:38,352 OK, HUEY NEWTON WAS A FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE BLACK PANTHERS. 80 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,720 HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT? 81 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,422 WHY SHOULD I? 82 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,557 WELL, YOU'RE, YOU KNOW... 83 00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:44,692 BECAUSE, UM... 84 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,494 BECAUSE I'M WHAT? 85 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,329 YOU'RE A... I'M A? 86 00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:50,364 YOU GOT A 1600 ON YOUR S.A.T. 87 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,600 AND YOU JUST GRADUATED NORTHWESTERN WITH A 4.0. 88 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:53,767 YOU OUGHT TO KNOW THINGS LIKE THAT. 89 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,436 YOU KNOW I GOT A 1600 90 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:58,639 THE SAME WAY I GOT A 4.0. I CHEATED. 91 00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:00,874 [alarm buzzing] 92 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,511 [beeping] 93 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:07,681 GOD, I... BOY, I TELL YOU, MAN, WHITE GIRLS, THEY... 94 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,318 IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THEIR BUTTS ARE GROWIN', MAN. 95 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,453 WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE HE'S NOT GONNA MISS IT? 96 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,988 BEFORE Y'ALL USED TO JUST HAVE TITTIES, AND THAT WAS IT. 97 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:18,125 WAIT. NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU GOT TITTIES AND ASS. 98 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,828 [alarm buzzing] 99 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:23,864 PLEASE COME WITH ME, SIR. 100 00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:26,534 I TOLD YOU IT WAS BAD LUCK. 101 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,168 HURRY UP, WE'RE ALREADY LATE. 102 00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:30,504 I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE NATHAN LET Z BOB PLAN THIS WHOLE WEEKEND 103 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,139 AFTER EVERYTHING ELSE HE'S SCREWED UP. 104 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:35,275 WELL, HIS BROTHER HOOKED HIM UP WITH THIS BACHELOR-PARTY GURU. 105 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:38,045 SO NOT EVEN Z BOB CAN SCREW THIS UP. 106 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,880 (Z Bob) AS A COURTESY YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST-- 107 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,181 [Z Bob groaning] 108 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,026 YOU OK? 109 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,095 DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS, ALL RIGHT? 110 00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,030 ABOUT WHAT? 111 00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,098 COME ON. 112 00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,170 DOES THAT HAVE ANY BUSINESS NEWS IN IT? 113 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,572 YOU WANNA CHECK IT OUT? PLEASE. 114 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,139 OK. 115 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:07,207 GO AHEAD, MAN. 116 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,381 THIS HAS BUSINESS NEWS? 117 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:16,116 YEAH, SEE, THERE'S HER BUSINESS RIGHT THERE. 118 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:20,554 AND THERE'S SOME MORE OF HER BUSINESS RIGHT THERE. 119 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:24,091 FOR REAL, MAN, YOU GOTTA BE THE DUMBEST GRADUATE N.U. EVER PRODUCED. 120 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,427 THAT'S OK, BABY, I GET SICK BEFORE I FLY, TOO. 121 00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:28,662 JUST TAKE A COUPLE OF ASPIRIN. YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT. 122 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:32,633 I'M SORRY, SIR, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO DEFLATE YOUR DOLL. 123 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,470 YEAH, IT WAS WORTH A SHOT, RIGHT? 124 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:40,107 GENTLEMEN, I HAVE 2 WORDS FOR YOU. 125 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,842 SHOW GIRLS. 126 00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,811 FOR THE RECORD, SHOWGIRLS IS ONE WORD. 127 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,012 WHERE-- 128 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,380 DOES HE HAVE TO COME? 129 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,482 [air hissing] 130 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:53,954 I CAN'T... 131 00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,363 (Z Bob) I SEE YOU'VE DISCOVERED COMMANDMENT NUMBER 8. 132 00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,665 YES, I HAVE. 133 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,400 "THOU SHALT NOT STEAL." 134 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,236 UH-HUH. "ALL FORMS OF ENTERTAINMENT MUST INCLUDE SEXUAL EXPLICITNESS 135 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,971 AND/OR ILLEGALITY." THAT'S NICE. 136 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,006 WELL, JAIME PRESSLY. 137 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,575 I'D BE HER BITCH ANY DAY. 138 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:16,076 ONE SECOND. WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? 139 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,545 BACHELOR PARTY 10 COMMANDMENTS. 140 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,212 THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. 141 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,415 THIS HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN FROM BROTHER TO BROTHER IN MY FAMILY. 142 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,751 AND FROM UNCLE TO UNCLE BEFORE THAT. READY? 143 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,318 COMMANDMENT NUMBER ONE: 144 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,588 "EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS DURING THE BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND 145 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,557 CAN NEVER BE DISCUSSED WITH ANYONE ELSE FOR ANY REASON." 146 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,124 YEAH, DON'T WORRY. LISA ALREADY TOLD ME, 147 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,426 SHE DOESN'T WANNA KNOW A THING. 148 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,394 THAT GIRL IS SO COOL, SHE'S ALMOST A GUY. 149 00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:37,297 YOU--YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS, RIGHT? 150 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:38,532 WHAT? 151 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:39,967 LISA GAVE YOU THE GREEN LIGHT. 152 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,201 WHAT GREEN LIGHT? 153 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,370 DUDE, DON'T GET ALL RILED UP, OK? 154 00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,907 I MEAN, I ALREADY PROMISED HER I'M NOT GONNA GET ARRESTED, AND I'M NOT GONNA HAVE SEX. 155 00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,609 ALL I HEARD WAS SHE DOESN'T KNOW A THING-- 156 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:49,910 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, COMMANDMENT NUMBER 2: 157 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,779 "THE GOAL OF THE BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND 158 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:55,449 IS TO EXPERIENCE THE MOST UNFORGETTABLE 48 HOURS EVER IMAGINED." 159 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,384 COUNT ON IT. AND NUMBER 3: 160 00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,587 "THE BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND MUST TAKE PLACE IN LAS VEGAS." 161 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,389 (woman on P.A. system) FINAL BOARDING CALL FOR FLIGHT 420 TO LAS VEGAS. 162 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,658 ALL TICKETED PASSENGERS SHOULD PROCEED TO THE GATE IMMEDIATELY. 163 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,326 SHIT. WHERE'S JOHNNY C? 164 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,829 IS THERE A REASON YOU'RE CARRYING HANDCUFFS? 165 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,864 I'M GOING TO MY FIRST BACHELOR PARTY. 166 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,467 [both chuckling] 167 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,335 NOT WITH THESE, YOU'RE NOT. 168 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,505 BUT THE... AND WHAT IS THIS? 169 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:20,941 OH, DUDE, BANANA-FLAVORED PENIS-SENSITIZING CREAM. 170 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:23,644 IT MAGNIFIES EVEN THE SLIGHTEST TOUCH. 171 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:26,313 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 172 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,216 BEST PART THOUGH, EDIBLE. 173 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,185 NOT IN U.S. AIRSPACE IT'S NOT. 174 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,755 HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU? 175 00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:37,958 THIS IS POTENTIALLY THE BIGGEST WEEKEND 176 00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:41,662 [buzzing] MY FRIENDS AND I ARE EVER GONNA EXPERIENCE. 177 00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:44,031 DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS? 178 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,701 THESE ARE POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS WEAPONS 179 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:50,738 WHICH YOU WILL NOT BE CARRYING ON ANY AIRCRAFT. 180 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,173 DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS? 181 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:58,411 [baby crying] 182 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:03,083 MAN, FUCK OSAMA BIN LADEN. FUCK AL-QAEDA. 183 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,185 AND FUCK EVERY OTHER DOUCHE BAG WHO BROUGHT ABOUT 184 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,954 THIS HEIGHTENED SECURITY BULLSHIT. 185 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,088 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 186 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,557 YOU KNOW, I CAN UNDERSTAND THEM 187 00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:10,991 TAKING THE HANDCUFFS, BUT THE DILDOS? 188 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,226 THEY EVEN TOOK THE GODDAMN PENIS CREAM. 189 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,629 EXCUSE ME, BUT WHO ARE WE BRINGING DILDOS FOR? 190 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,331 (Johnny C) ELI, CHAPTER 1, PAGE 1. 191 00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:21,969 SHOWGIRLS LOVE DILDOS. TRUST ME. 192 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:25,673 THEY SEE GUYS WHO BROUGHT THEIR OWN, AND THE PARTY IS ON. 193 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:28,141 OH, DUDE, THEN AS SOON AS WE LAND, WE HAVE TO GET DILDOS. 194 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,943 RELAX, MAN. IN VEGAS THEY PRACTICALLY 195 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,712 SELL THEM ON EVERY STREET CORNER. 196 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:32,880 (Eli) HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW? 197 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,882 YOU'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO VEGAS. 198 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:38,118 WE'RE GOING TO THE DECADENCE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD HERE, BOYS. 199 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,288 GET READY TO PUSH THE BOUNDS OF DECENCY 200 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,290 AND STRETCH OUT OUR MORAL CODES 201 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,293 BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE THE WILDEST, 202 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,029 CRAZIEST WEEKEND OF OUR LIVES. 203 00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:57,638 GIFTS, FOR EVERYONE. OH, YEAH. 204 00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:59,306 I SHOULD SAY TO OUR NEW... 205 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,874 THANKS, BROTHER. 206 00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,443 GET THIS PARTY STARTED. 207 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,646 (Nathan) I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW HOW PSYCHED I AM 208 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:08,148 THAT MY 4 BEST FRIENDS ARE WITH ME. YOU KNOW? 209 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,783 EACH OF YOU GUYS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. 210 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,084 (Ash) ALL RIGHT. 211 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,953 ENOUGH OF THIS SENSITIVE BULLSHIT. 212 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,155 BEFORE WE BREAK OUT INTO A CIRCLE JERK 213 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,592 WE ARE GOING TO GET SHIT-FACED. 214 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,527 THAT'S RIGHT. 215 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:26,033 SHITTY. 216 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,370 ALL RIGHT. I GOT A QUESTION TO ASK YOU. 217 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:33,440 DON'T GET ME WRONG, LISA'S PRACTICALLY PERFECT. 218 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:34,975 SHE'S GOT A GREAT BODY, SHE'S SEXY, 219 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,845 SHE'S SMART, SHE'S GOT A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR. 220 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,748 ACCORDING TO YOU, SHE'S A BEAST IN THE SACK. RIGHT? 221 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,483 BUT? 222 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:46,519 WHY ARE YOU WILLING TO REDUCE AN ENTIRE DECADE OF MALE BONDING, 223 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:50,523 WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR 20's, TO ONE WEEKEND? 224 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,125 YOU MEAN, WHY AM I GETTING MARRIED? 225 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,895 YES! YES, YES! WHY? 226 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:57,530 WHY NOW? WHY CAN'T YOU WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE, LIKE 227 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:01,902 30 OR 35 OR 40? 228 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,436 WHAT'S THE RUSH? 229 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,907 I LOVE HER. 230 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:09,843 OK. AND? 231 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,646 WHAT ELSE IS THERE? 232 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,281 OH. 233 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:18,852 WELL, THAT'S... THAT'S BULLSHIT. 234 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,421 YOU DON'T... GREAT, YOU LOVE HER. 235 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,523 THAT'S FINE, THOUGH. YOU OWE US, THOUGH. 236 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,958 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I OWE YOU? 237 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,794 LOOK, DUDE, DON'T GET US WRONG, OK? 238 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,328 WE'RE INCREDIBLY HAPPY FOR YOU. 239 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,997 IT'S JUST THAT WE'RE GETTING USED TO THE IDEA 240 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,032 THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE LISA'S FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 241 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,534 FOR ONE LAST WEEKEND, BITCH, YOU'RE OURS. 242 00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,069 IT'S THE BACHELOR DILEMMA. 243 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,270 WHAT IS? 244 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:40,674 GOING INTO HIS FINAL WEEKEND AS A SINGLE MAN, 245 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:44,344 EVERY BACHELOR FEELS A TORN SENSE OF OBLIGATION. 246 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,514 SEE, HE WANTS TO STAY TRUE TO HIS BRIDE-TO-BE AND NOT LET HER DOWN. 247 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,449 WHILE, AT THE SAME TIME, 248 00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:52,519 STAYING TRUE TO HIS FRIENDS AND NOT LETTING THEM DOWN. 249 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,389 WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT, PSYCH CLASS? HUSTLER. 250 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,725 OF COURSE. 251 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,665 ANOTHER ROUND, GENTLEMEN? 252 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:06,967 OH, THAT'S PERFECT. HERE, RIGHT-- 253 00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,201 YOU CAN JUST DROP IT RIGHT-- 254 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,402 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 255 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,872 HERE'S $50, KEEP IT COMING. 256 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,373 CONSIDER IT DONE. 257 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,674 OK. 258 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,110 [snickering] 259 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,879 DRINK UP, BOYS. 260 00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,748 SOBRIETY IS THE ENEMY. 261 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,784 HEY, DO YOU HAVE THAT D.V.D. PLAYER I GAVE YOU? 262 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:24,852 (Nathan) YEAH. 263 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,453 ALL RIGHT. 264 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,356 THE IN-FLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT IS ABOUT TO BEGIN. 265 00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:33,861 EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. 266 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,696 WOULD YOU MIND SWITCHING SEATS? 267 00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:41,268 YOUNG MAN, EVERY TIME I FLY TO LAS VEGAS, I SIT IN 27-C. 268 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,603 IT'S MY LUCKY SEAT. 269 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,105 I'M NOT GONNA GIVE THAT UP. 270 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,840 PLEASE? PRETTY PLEASE? 271 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,942 THIS IS MY SEAT. 272 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,044 BUZZ OFF. 273 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,645 [Ash chortling] 274 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:56,349 ALL RIGHT. IF, UH, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'D LIKE. 275 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,053 (Z Bob) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 276 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,822 I GAVE HIM THIS TO WATCH PORN. 277 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,490 (Nathan) THAT'S CHUCK LIDDELL. 278 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,493 THE ICEMAN IS THE U.F.C. LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. 279 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,561 HE'S, LIKE, THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN ON THE PLANET. 280 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,998 OK, WELL, UNLESS WE SEE HIM GETTING A BLOW JOB FROM A RING GIRL, 281 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,802 I THINK THIS IS THE LAST TIME WE'RE GONNA SEE ICEMAN THIS WEEKEND. 282 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,169 (Johnny C) THERE YOU GO. 283 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,138 VERY NICE. 284 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,540 (Z Bob) GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT MISS CANDY JUGGS. 285 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:21,842 ALL RIGHT. 286 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,311 TURN IT ON. PLAY. POW. 287 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:26,780 (Z Bob) YEAH. 288 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,315 (woman) RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE. 289 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,550 OH, YEAH, DON'T STOP. (Z Bob) GOT YOU. 290 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,652 YOUR COCK IS SO BIG. 291 00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,855 SORRY, MA'AM, I TRIED TO WARN YOU. 292 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,523 (woman) WOULD YOU MIND TURNING THAT OFF? 293 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,326 YOU KNOW, UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES, I ABSOLUTELY WOULD, 294 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,795 BUT, UH, BACHELOR PARTY COMMANDMENT NUMBER 8-- 295 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,864 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY PUSSY? 296 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,765 EXCUSE ME? 297 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:49,602 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY PUSSY? 298 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,772 GOD, NO! 299 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,309 I DON'T CARE TO SEE YOUR PORNOGRAPHY. 300 00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,912 I LIKE MINE WITH A LITTLE STORY. 301 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,915 SO, IF I HAVE TO SEE YOURS, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU MINE. 302 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,985 GIVE IT BACK. NO. 303 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,920 TRUST. TRUST. JUST NO. 304 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,324 OH, GOD, I NEED... 305 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:12,692 [beeping] 306 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,731 SO, UH, GUYS, 307 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,167 IN THE SPIRIT OF THIS WEEKEND 308 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,870 I'VE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF CHARACTER. 309 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,840 TAKE A LOOK AT THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE MILE HIGH CLUB. 310 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,210 OH, ELI, 311 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,112 SPANKING DOESN'T COUNT. 312 00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,546 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT DOESN'T COUNT? 313 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,283 SORRY, ELI, I'M AFRAID IT DOESN'T. 314 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,387 I WANNA GO HOME. 315 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,222 RIGHT NOW. 316 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,091 WHOEVER JUST MASTURBATED IN THE BATHROOM, 317 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,860 WOULD YOU MIND GOING BACK AND CLEANING YOUR MAN-SAUCE OFF THE MIRROR? 318 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:47,961 [people exclaiming] 319 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,196 DID HE JUST SAY "MAN-SAUCE"? 320 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,330 (woman #1) NASTY. 321 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,631 (woman #2) DISGUSTING. 322 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:53,233 (man) PLEASE. 323 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,639 (woman #3) WON'T BE GOING TO THE BATHROOM ANY TIME SOON. 324 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,779 THERE IT IS, GUYS. 325 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,815 THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CITY IN THE WORLD. 326 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,251 OH, MAN. 327 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:14,321 YOU KNOW, MOST WOMEN DREAM OF THEIR WEDDING DAY THEIR ENTIRE LIVES. 328 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,556 BUT THIS IS THE DAY WE DREAM OF. 329 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,793 IT'S EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I THOUGHT. 330 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:22,762 WE'RE HERE. 331 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,333 WE'RE REALLY HERE. 332 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:33,573 *[Alive & Amplified by Mooney Suzuki playing] 333 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:46,253 * PLUG ME IN AND TURN ME ON * 334 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,621 * LISTEN HERE 'CAUSE HERE IT COMES * 335 00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:51,324 * GOT HOT LICKS ON YOUR GUITAR STRINGS * 336 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,461 * RIFFS AND RHYTHMS AND GUITAR THANGS * 337 00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:58,865 OH, MY GOD, THAT'S THE GIRL FROM POISON IVY 3, JAIME PRESSLY. 338 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,767 IT'S JAIME PRESSLY. JAIME. 339 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,435 JAIME. (Z Bob) MISS PRESSLY, EXCUSE ME. 340 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,271 HEY, UH, THIS IS-- THIS IS MY BUDDY 341 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,173 NATHAN'S LAST WEEKEND AS A SINGLE MAN 342 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,540 AND I WAS KIND OF WONDERING IF MAYBE 343 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:08,841 THERE WAS SOMETHING, YOU KNOW, THAT-- 344 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,511 WE COULD DO TO HELP MAKE THIS A GREAT WEEKEND? 345 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,845 YES. RIGHT. 346 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,781 ANYTHING AT ALL. RIGHT. UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? 347 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,716 I'M SURE THERE'S SOMETHING WE COULD DO. YEAH, DEFINITELY. 348 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:17,985 ALL RIGHT? 349 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:20,587 YEAH. UH, WHY DON'T-- WHY DON'T I GET-- 350 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,122 HI. HI. 351 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:24,024 WHY DON'T I GET YOUR NUMBER? 352 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,825 OR YOUR NUMBER. 353 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,160 OK? AND THEN WE'LL CALL YOU. 354 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,495 YEAH, I'LL GIVE YOU THE NUMBER. 355 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,398 847-555-6634. THAT'S 847-- 356 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,933 OK, HOLD IT. OK, I GOT IT. I GOT IT THAT TIME. THANKS. 357 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,235 AND THE, UH, NAME? 358 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,170 UH, Z BOB. OR "Z" FOR SHORT. 359 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,538 WELL, I HOPE SO. 360 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,507 PERFECT. ALL RIGHT, WELL, WE GOT IT. 361 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,109 SO WE WILL GIVE YOU GUYS A CALL. 362 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,643 SO WE'LL-- MY NAME IS ASH, 363 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,712 BY THE WAY, JUST IN CASE, YOU KNOW. HI. HI, ASH. 364 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,280 WHERE YOU GUYS STAYIN'? 365 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,249 WE ARE STAYING AT-- GREEN VALLEY. 366 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,318 GREEN VALLEY RANCH. THAT'S AN AWESOME HOTEL. 367 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,154 YEAH. MAYBE CAESARS OR MAYBE... 368 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,755 WE'RE NOT-- WE'RE NOT SURE. 369 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:56,956 WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR FRIEND? HI. 370 00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,325 HI. THAT'S JENNA. 371 00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,859 YOU KNOW, HAVE A WONDERFUL TRIP. YEAH. 372 00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:01,361 UM, CONGRATULATIONS. AND... THANK YOU. 373 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,096 ...WE'LL CALL YOU. GOOD LUCK. 374 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,998 WE'LL SEE YOU AT CAESARS. WE'RE AT THE NUGGET. ALL RIGHT. 375 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,799 NICE TO MEET YOU, JAIME PRESSLY. I LOVE YOU. 376 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,068 (Johnny C) IT--IT--IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU 377 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,236 WOW! ...JAIME PRESSLY. 378 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,303 SHUT UP. 379 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,072 JAIME PRESSLY IS GONNA CALL US. 380 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,840 NO, SHE'S NOT. 381 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:15,508 NO, NO, SHE WILL. I KNOW SHE WILL. NO, NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. 382 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,377 YOU THINK SHE'S JUST LEADING US ON? YES. 383 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,379 AT LEAST SHE WAS NICE ABOUT IT, RIGHT? 384 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,548 (Johnny C) JAIME! PROBABLY A LESBIAN, ANYWAY. 385 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,151 GOD, I HOPE SO. 386 00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,457 [all whooping] 387 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:37,864 OH, YEAH! YOU ARE THE MAN! SWEET! 388 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,899 (Z Bob) GUYS, LET'S GET READY TO ROCK 'N ROLL! 389 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:43,403 GUYS, THE FIRST LAP DANCE, IT'S ON ME. 390 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,905 GET READY BOYS. THE WEEKEND STARTS NOW. 391 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,419 (Eli) UH, MA'AM, EXCUSE ME. 392 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,422 UH, YOU WEREN'T ON THE WEB SITE. 393 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,424 OH, THAT'S 'CAUSE I JUST STARTED. 394 00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,060 I AM CASSANDRA. 395 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,364 I ALSO TEACH PRESCHOOL. 396 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:16,869 NEVER, EVER TRUST THE PICTURES YOU SEE ON A WEB SITE. 397 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,010 HUMPITY-HUMPITY, HUMPITY-HUMPITY DUMP. 398 00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,445 OK. WHOA, STOP. 399 00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:26,846 PLEASE, REALLY STOP. 400 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,716 OK. DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL? 401 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,852 [exclaiming] OH, YEAH. 402 00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:34,287 HELP ME. NO. NO. 403 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:35,755 HELP ME. HELP ME. OH, OH. 404 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:36,889 [exclaiming] 405 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:39,559 OH, GOD! OH, GOD! 406 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,994 OH, BABY. OH, YOU ARE SO HOT. 407 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:45,498 YEAH. OH, YOU ARE SO HOT. 408 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:49,136 BABY. WHAT A PENIS! 409 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:52,139 OH, YOU HAVE A GENIUS PENIS. 410 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,175 OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK! YOU KNOW WHAT? STOP IT. STOP IT. 411 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,544 JUST STOP. OK? JUST STOP RIGHT NOW. 412 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,246 JUST STOP. OK? 413 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:02,649 I WANTED-- I DIDN'T WANNA SAY ANYTHING BUT, UM, 414 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,152 I'M GAY. 415 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,954 YES, I'M GAY. I'M--I'M GAY. I'M GAY, GIRL. 416 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,689 CASSANDRA, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 417 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,091 YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT GONNA TEMPT YOU. 418 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,060 I'LL MOVE RIGHT ALONG. YEAH, YEAH. 419 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:17,264 HI. DO YOU WANNA DO THE HUMPITY-DUMP 420 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:21,868 THE WHIP OR THERE'S THE NOSE SUCK? 421 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,371 NO, I'LL JUST-- I'LL JUST TAKE THE HUMPITY-- 422 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,173 [razzing] 423 00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,107 YOU KNOW WHAT? 424 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,477 CASSANDRA, I'M ACTUALLY GAY, TOO. 425 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:31,611 REALLY GAY. 426 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,780 I THOUGHT FOR SURE HE WAS THE BOYFRIEND. 427 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,215 MMM-HMM. IT'S ME. 428 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,151 MOVING ON. I'M GONNA MOVE RIGHT ON. OKEY-DOKEY. 429 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,554 HI. 430 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,423 HEY. WHAT'S UP, HONEY? 431 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,359 SO, ME, HIS BOYFRIEND? NO. 432 00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:49,829 ACTUALLY, I'M MORE MAN THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE. 433 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,531 OK, IF YOU SAY SO. 434 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:52,799 [zipper unzipping] 435 00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,934 HI, LITTLE FELLA. 436 00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,103 LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN STAND UP STRAIGHT FOR MAMA. 437 00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:58,805 DON'T BE A BAD BOY. 438 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:01,274 [cooing] STOP. OUCH. 439 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:04,076 LISTEN, HONEY, I'M HIS BOYFRIEND. 440 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,279 YOU 2-TIMING LITTLE SLUT. 441 00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:07,747 YOU'RE GAY, TOO? 442 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:08,948 POWER GAY. 443 00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,917 GIRL, YOU ALL JUST RELAX. 444 00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,287 (Cassandra) WELL, 445 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:17,957 I KNOW THERE'S ONE GUY ON THIS BUS WHO LIKES GIRLS. 446 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,226 [bell rings] 447 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:20,793 IT'S CASSANDRA. 448 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:22,695 YEAH. 449 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,397 AND I SAVED MY BEST FOR LAST. 450 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:27,634 IT'S MY MONKEY ROUTINE, AND YOU'RE THE BANANA. 451 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,305 [imitating monkey] 452 00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:41,648 NO. OH, OH, GOD! 453 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,484 [groaning] 454 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:52,559 [screaming] 455 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,340 (Nathan) WHERE IS VEGAS? 456 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,108 (Eli) UH, NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING, BUT WHERE THE HELL ARE WE? 457 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,644 (Ash) EACH OF US IS IN CHARGE OF ONE PART OF THIS WEEKEND. 458 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,814 I'VE ARRANGED FOR A LITTLE OUTDOOR FUN. 459 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,186 ISN'T THIS GREAT? 460 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:21,354 [laughing] 461 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,294 WAIT. 462 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,298 YOU BROUGHT US ALL THE WAY OUT HERE TO PLAY PAINTBALL? 463 00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,099 YEAH. 464 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,734 (man) ALL RIGHT, I HAVE TO GET YOUR RELEASE FORMS 465 00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:37,136 BEFORE I CAN LET YOU OUT ON THE PLAYING FIELD. 466 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,705 YOU SURE YOU WANT THE SPECIAL? 467 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:39,872 HELL, YEAH. 468 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,374 WAIT. WHAT'S THE SPECIAL? 469 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,710 CHRISSY! 470 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:44,944 [dogs barking] 471 00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:46,513 [dogs howling] 472 00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,250 (Z Bob) WHOA. 473 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:54,153 BOYS, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET CHRISSY. 474 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:56,489 SHE IS THE SPECIAL. 475 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:59,759 ALL RIGHT NOW, CHRISSY HERE GETS A 2-MINUTE HEAD START 476 00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:03,630 AND YOU HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF HUNTING THIS FINE YOUNG FILLY. 477 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,598 EXCUSE ME. WE WHAT, SIR? 478 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,535 THE FIRST ONE OF YOU WHO CAN CLAIM A KILL SHOT 479 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,437 GETS ME ALONE FOR AN HOUR. 480 00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:14,874 YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO ME, 481 00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:16,743 WITH ME, 482 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:19,312 WOW. ...OR FOR ME. 483 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:20,847 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 484 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:24,984 ONLY IF YOU GET A KILL SHOT. ON YOUR MARK. 485 00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:26,953 GET SET. 486 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,988 DOWN, BABY, SHE'S MINE. 487 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:30,056 GO! 488 00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:36,128 GOD DAMN. 489 00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:37,897 IS IT JUST ME, OR DOES ANYBODY ELSE 490 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,066 THINK THIS IS A LITTLE STRANGE? 491 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:43,169 WELL, YOU COULD JUST STAY HERE WITH ME IF YOU'D PREFER. 492 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,375 *[My Little Birdie by The Nice Device playing] 493 00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:52,445 * MY LITTLE BIRDIE DON'T SING TO ME NO MORE * 494 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,447 (Ash) I'M A BAD MOTHERFUCKER. 495 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:55,648 [screaming] 496 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:56,716 YEAH! 497 00:21:56,783 --> 00:21:58,585 GET SOME! GET SOME! 498 00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,487 GET SOME! 499 00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:03,155 (Z Bob) YO! THIS IS JUST LIKE MY FAVORITE CANDY JUGGS VIDEO. 500 00:22:03,222 --> 00:22:05,592 WHERE DO YOU THINK I GOT THE IDEA FROM? YOU HAVE THAT VIDEO, TOO? 501 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,527 NO, I STOLE IT FROM YOU. GET SOME! 502 00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:12,699 (Johnny C) HEY. WE'RE NEVER GONNA FIND HER LIKE THIS. 503 00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,734 LET'S SPREAD OUT OR SOMETHING. 504 00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:17,103 ALL RIGHT, COOL. YOU GUYS GO THAT WAY, FOX FORMATION. 505 00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,838 I'M HEADING THIS WAY. LET'S GO. 506 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,045 (Eli) GUYS. GUYS, WAIT... 507 00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:32,785 YOU GUYS. GUYS. 508 00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,127 DON'T SHOOT. YOU WIN. 509 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,862 DAMN STRAIGHT. 510 00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:44,964 [screaming] 511 00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:47,299 WHY-- WHY'D YOU DO THAT? 512 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:49,969 (Ash) HEY, NOW I GOT ONE QUESTION. 513 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:52,872 DO I HAVE TO SPLIT THE HOUR WITH THE BACHELOR 514 00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:55,708 OR DO I GET TO HAVE YOU ALL TO MYSELF? 515 00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:56,943 WHAT-- 516 00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,112 I LOVE DOING THAT. 517 00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:01,448 [groaning] 518 00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,049 YOU ARE ROUGH, LITTLE GIRL. 519 00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:04,283 YOU'RE A LITTLE ROUGH, HUH? 520 00:23:04,350 --> 00:23:05,585 YOU'RE A ROUGH ONE. 521 00:23:05,652 --> 00:23:07,319 YOU SEE BOTH OF THEM? WHO'S THAT? WHO ARE YOU? 522 00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:08,821 I'M CHRISSY'S TWIN, MISSY. 523 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,022 (Ash) OH, YEAH. 524 00:23:10,089 --> 00:23:12,291 I ROCK. I ROCK. 525 00:23:12,358 --> 00:23:14,393 I ROCK. I ROCK. 526 00:23:14,461 --> 00:23:15,995 THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT. I ROCK. 527 00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:17,329 CLOTHES OFF. 528 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,598 THEY BOTH HAVE GUNS NOW. WHAT? 529 00:23:18,665 --> 00:23:19,832 YES, OK. 530 00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,033 BOTH OF YOU. 531 00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,301 THAT'S ALL YOU GOTTA SAY TO ME. 532 00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:24,203 YOU NEED TO START TAKING YOUR-- I HAVE A VERY BAD-- 533 00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:26,205 NOW! SHE SHOT ME. SHE SHOT ME. IT HURT. IT HURT. 534 00:23:26,272 --> 00:23:28,140 OK, THAT'S GREAT. START TAKING YOUR CLOTHES OFF. 535 00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:31,143 I HAVE A VERY, VERY BAD-- LISTEN TO ME! LISTEN TO ME. ALL RIGHT? 536 00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:35,648 WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT WITH 2 HOT CHICKS. ALL RIGHT? 537 00:23:35,715 --> 00:23:37,650 AND WE ARE ABOUT TO GET NAKED. 538 00:23:37,717 --> 00:23:39,619 WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? 539 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:42,722 WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? 540 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:45,157 [both groaning] 541 00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:49,596 WHAT THE HELL? 542 00:23:49,662 --> 00:23:52,064 MY DICK! THE BITCH SHOT MY DICK! 543 00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:54,967 TWINS. WHERE? 544 00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:57,003 * MY LITTLE BIRDIE DON'T SING TO ME NO MORE * 545 00:23:57,069 --> 00:23:58,304 TWINS WITH GUNS! 546 00:23:58,370 --> 00:23:59,772 [all screaming] 547 00:23:59,839 --> 00:24:02,475 * RIGHT OUT THE DOOR 548 00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:05,978 * IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU 549 00:24:06,045 --> 00:24:08,180 * SATISFACTION 550 00:24:08,247 --> 00:24:10,049 * OH, OH 551 00:24:10,116 --> 00:24:14,921 * MY LITTLE BIRDIE DON'T SING TO ME NO MORE * 552 00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:18,257 * ALL YOUR LOVE GONE RIGHT OUT THE DOOR * 553 00:24:18,324 --> 00:24:19,859 * OH, OH 554 00:24:19,926 --> 00:24:22,028 * MY LITTLE BIRDIE DON'T SING TO ME NO MORE * 555 00:24:22,094 --> 00:24:24,063 I AM NEVER FORGIVING YOU FOR THIS. 556 00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:25,397 SHUT UP, YOU. 557 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:26,699 (Nathan) ASH, I GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU. 558 00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:28,400 THAT WAS AWESOME. 559 00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:30,069 ARE YOU GUYS OK? 560 00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,470 [panting] 561 00:24:31,538 --> 00:24:33,840 DOES IT LOOK LIKE WE'RE OK? 562 00:24:33,906 --> 00:24:34,974 I NEED WEED! 563 00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:37,143 GUYS, COME ON, COME ON. COME ON. 564 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:38,678 I GOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED. 565 00:24:38,745 --> 00:24:40,980 COME ON IN THE BUS. LET'S HURRY, HURRY. 566 00:24:41,047 --> 00:24:43,850 CASSANDRA TO THE RESCUE. 567 00:24:43,916 --> 00:24:45,084 CASSANDRA TO THE RESCUE. SORRY. 568 00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:46,886 WHAT? 569 00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:57,764 (Z Bob) OH, LUCKY US. OUR DRIVER IS WEARING A THONG. 570 00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:01,400 ISN'T THAT THE SAME ONE CASSANDRA WAS WEARING? 571 00:25:01,467 --> 00:25:03,603 (Nathan) OH, YEAH. WORK IT, TED. WORK IT. 572 00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:05,738 YES, WORK IT, TED! 573 00:25:05,805 --> 00:25:06,839 (Nathan) COME ON! 574 00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:07,907 [whooping] 575 00:25:07,974 --> 00:25:12,645 OH, OH, TED. OH, OH, GO, TED. GO. 576 00:25:12,712 --> 00:25:14,947 OH, NO, NO, NO. NO. 577 00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:17,917 OH, GOD! OH, GOD! PLEASE STOP. 578 00:25:17,984 --> 00:25:19,752 PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU. 579 00:25:19,819 --> 00:25:22,088 OH, GOD, I CAN FEEL YOUR BALLS ON MY KNEES. 580 00:25:22,154 --> 00:25:25,191 HEY, COMMANDMENT NUMBER 9: "NO MATTER WHAT GOES WRONG 581 00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:27,393 ALL PARTICIPANTS MUST PERSEVERE." 582 00:25:29,596 --> 00:25:30,763 OH, OH. 583 00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:32,732 BLOW, TED, BLOW. 584 00:25:32,799 --> 00:25:35,735 I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK. YUP. 585 00:25:35,802 --> 00:25:37,003 OH, NO, NO, NO YOU DON'T. 586 00:25:37,069 --> 00:25:38,705 YOU WERE JUST SAYING HOW YOU WANTED TO, 587 00:25:38,771 --> 00:25:40,339 YOU KNOW, PUSH THE BOUNDS OF DECENCY 588 00:25:40,406 --> 00:25:41,874 AND STRETCH OUT OUR MORAL CODE. REMEMBER? 589 00:25:41,941 --> 00:25:43,075 I NEVER SAID THAT. 590 00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:44,911 I WOULD BE GLAD TO STRETCH YOU OUT, BIG BOY. 591 00:25:44,977 --> 00:25:47,179 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M STRETCHED OUT ALL I WANNA BE, THANK YOU. 592 00:25:47,246 --> 00:25:49,916 DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WANTED TO EXPERIENCE THE WILDEST AND CRAZIEST 593 00:25:49,982 --> 00:25:53,452 BACHELOR PARTY OF YOUR LIFE? 594 00:25:53,519 --> 00:25:57,156 YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T THE KIND OF WILD AND CRAZY I MEANT. 595 00:25:57,223 --> 00:26:00,359 PUSH IT BACK, PUSH IT BACK, WAY BACK. 596 00:26:00,426 --> 00:26:01,661 I SEE WHERE YOU WANNA TAKE IT. 597 00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:05,164 YOU WANNA TAKE THIS TO THE NEXT LEVEL, HUH, DON'T YOU? 598 00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:07,867 NO! OH, GOD, NOT THE NEXT LEVEL! 599 00:26:07,934 --> 00:26:10,436 OH, I AM GOING RIGHT OFF THE ROAD. 600 00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:11,704 I NEED WEED! I NEED... 601 00:26:11,771 --> 00:26:12,905 DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME! 602 00:26:12,972 --> 00:26:15,007 I NEED WEED! I NEED WEED! 603 00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:17,744 ALL RIGHT, DUDE, CHILL OUT. I GET IT. 604 00:26:17,810 --> 00:26:19,578 WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO? 605 00:26:19,646 --> 00:26:20,713 YOU GOT WEED? 606 00:26:26,318 --> 00:26:27,987 BLOW. BLOW. 607 00:26:30,990 --> 00:26:32,725 OH, YEAH. OK. 608 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:34,393 NO, NO, NO, NO. 609 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:36,528 NO MEANS NO. NO MEANS NO, THANK YOU. 610 00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:38,765 SO WHEN'D YOU START SMOKING, PLAYER? 611 00:26:40,066 --> 00:26:41,233 2 MINUTES AGO. 612 00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:42,334 ALL RIGHT. 613 00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:44,837 [cell phone ringing] 614 00:26:45,371 --> 00:26:46,538 HELLO. 615 00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:47,774 (girl) HI, MOMMY. 616 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:48,975 HI, SWEETIE. 617 00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:50,109 ARE YOU BUSY? 618 00:26:50,176 --> 00:26:52,244 YEAH, I'M AT WORK. 619 00:26:52,311 --> 00:26:53,680 (Ted) YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. 620 00:26:53,746 --> 00:26:55,848 THERE'S NO WEED LIKE GAY WEED. 621 00:26:55,915 --> 00:26:57,349 WHO SAYS THAT? 622 00:26:57,416 --> 00:26:58,818 THEY DO. 623 00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:01,020 [both laughing] 624 00:27:04,023 --> 00:27:06,859 STOP ACTING STUPID. DON'T FUCKING HIT ME AGAIN, ALL RIGHT? 625 00:27:06,926 --> 00:27:08,027 (Ted) WAIT A SECOND. 626 00:27:08,094 --> 00:27:09,495 YOU GUYS AREN'T GAY, ARE YOU? 627 00:27:11,563 --> 00:27:15,434 YOU KNOW, I'M SURE IF WE WEREN'T, WE WOULD BE. 628 00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:17,503 OK, I GOTTA GO. OK. LOVE YOU, TOO, SWEETIE. 629 00:27:17,569 --> 00:27:19,371 I'LL BE BACK TO CHECK ON YOU. OK, BYE. 630 00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:24,744 STRETCH IT OUT, STRETCH IT OUT, WAY OUT. 631 00:27:26,178 --> 00:27:27,546 LOOK AT YOU. 632 00:27:27,613 --> 00:27:30,917 LISTEN, GUYS. I TOTALLY GET WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. OK? 633 00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:32,785 CASSIE WASN'T DOING IT FOR YOU GUYS. 634 00:27:32,852 --> 00:27:34,586 IT HAPPENS SOMETIMES. 635 00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,689 LET ME JUST TELL YOU, SHE'S LIKE A LITTLE SISTER TO ME. 636 00:27:36,756 --> 00:27:39,391 AND IF SHE FOUND OUT, IT WOULD TOTALLY BREAK HER HEART. 637 00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:40,626 SO SHE WON'T. 638 00:27:40,693 --> 00:27:41,794 THANKS. 639 00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:45,064 I GOT IT. CHECK THIS OUT. 640 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:48,367 WHAT'S UP, CAPTAIN CRUNCH? 641 00:27:48,434 --> 00:27:50,903 I'LL HAVE A BOWL OF THAT. 642 00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:52,471 (Ted) OH, YEAH, NICE. 643 00:27:54,140 --> 00:27:59,045 YEAH. GIVE ME SOME OF THAT BIG GAY DICK. 644 00:28:00,112 --> 00:28:01,948 (Ash) YO, TEDDY. TEDDY. 645 00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:04,951 I WANNA BLOW YOU. 646 00:28:05,017 --> 00:28:06,585 I WANNA-- I WANNA BLOW YOU. 647 00:28:09,355 --> 00:28:12,124 OH, I AM GETTING SO HOT 648 00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:15,762 THINKING OF ALL THOSE PENISES TOGETHER. 649 00:28:15,828 --> 00:28:19,398 TED! BREAK OUT THE GERBILS! 650 00:28:19,465 --> 00:28:21,533 BABY, BREAK OUT THE GERBILS! 651 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:22,701 GERBIL? 652 00:28:22,769 --> 00:28:24,470 I WANNA FEEL HIS WHISKERS IN MY ASS. 653 00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:27,339 YEAH, YEAH. I WANNA-- I WANNA FEEL HIM CRAWLING AROUND, 654 00:28:27,406 --> 00:28:29,141 SCRATCHING AROUND, LITTLE CLAWS. 655 00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:31,410 YEAH, LITTLE NOSES, I WANT THEM UP MY ASS. 656 00:28:31,477 --> 00:28:36,415 OH, I WANT A WHOLE FUCKING RODENT FAMILY UP MY PROLAPSED ANUS, TED! 657 00:28:36,482 --> 00:28:37,716 OH, GOD. 658 00:28:37,784 --> 00:28:39,018 [screaming] 659 00:28:42,488 --> 00:28:43,589 WHAT? 660 00:28:49,428 --> 00:28:52,932 (Z Bob) ALL RIGHT, MY FRIENDS, THE PAST IS BUT PROLOGUE. 661 00:28:52,999 --> 00:28:55,902 THE REAL BACHELOR PARTY IS NOW ABOUT TO BEGIN. 662 00:29:04,710 --> 00:29:05,744 [Z Bob laughing] 663 00:29:05,812 --> 00:29:08,214 (Z Bob) I'M GONNA WIN ABOUT $1 MILLION 664 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,983 OUT OF ALL OF THIS SHIT. ALL OF THIS SHIT. 665 00:29:11,050 --> 00:29:12,684 (Ash) WE'RE REALLY HERE. 666 00:29:16,923 --> 00:29:20,592 HEY, I AM GONNA WIN $25,000 ON THAT ONE AND... 667 00:29:20,659 --> 00:29:22,661 OH, MY GOD. 668 00:29:22,728 --> 00:29:24,530 PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT HALLUCINATING. 669 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:27,033 WHAT'S UP, Z... JESUS CHRIST. 670 00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:29,601 WHERE DO WOMEN LIKE THAT COME FROM? 671 00:29:31,838 --> 00:29:35,741 SO, WHICH ONE OF YOU HANDSOME STUDS HAPPENS TO BE Z BOB? 672 00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:39,645 UH, THAT WOULD BE ME. 673 00:29:39,711 --> 00:29:42,681 YOUR PARTY PLANNER ASKED ME TO ESCORT YOU UPSTAIRS. 674 00:29:42,748 --> 00:29:44,750 WON'T YOU ALL, PLEASE, FOLLOW ME? 675 00:29:44,817 --> 00:29:46,886 YOU REALLY THINK I'M HANDSOME, HUH? 676 00:29:48,154 --> 00:29:51,423 LET'S DO THIS. CALM IT DOWN. 677 00:29:55,361 --> 00:29:57,563 HEY, YOU GUYS, I THINK WE'RE GOING TO THE PENTHOUSE. 678 00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:59,966 YEAH. NOTHING BUT THE BEST. 679 00:30:00,032 --> 00:30:04,003 YOU BOYS HAVE HIRED THE BEST BACHELOR PARTY PLANNER IN LAS VEGAS. 680 00:30:04,070 --> 00:30:05,804 POSSIBLY THE WORLD. 681 00:30:08,474 --> 00:30:10,042 EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. 682 00:30:10,109 --> 00:30:12,311 [clearing throat] CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 683 00:30:12,378 --> 00:30:14,546 ASK HER. ANYTHING YOU WANT. 684 00:30:16,182 --> 00:30:18,517 IS "SHOWGIRLS" ONE WORD OR IS IT 2? 685 00:30:18,584 --> 00:30:20,052 (Johnny C) OH, ELI. 686 00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:22,922 ONE. 687 00:30:22,989 --> 00:30:26,658 SEE? SEE? YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 688 00:30:27,726 --> 00:30:28,760 [exclaiming] 689 00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:31,030 CAN I ASK YOU BOYS SOMETHING? 690 00:30:31,763 --> 00:30:33,599 ANYTHING. 691 00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:34,934 (Z Bob) ANYTHING YOU WANT. 692 00:30:35,001 --> 00:30:36,368 [elevator stopping] 693 00:30:40,806 --> 00:30:43,409 DID ANY OF YOU HAPPEN TO BRING A DILDO WITH YOU? 694 00:30:43,475 --> 00:30:45,177 [stammering] WAIT. WHAT? 695 00:30:45,244 --> 00:30:46,845 WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? WHAT DID YOU SAY? 696 00:30:46,913 --> 00:30:51,083 'CAUSE I JUST HAVE THIS CRAZY URGE TO DO A DILDO SHOW FOR YOU. 697 00:30:51,150 --> 00:30:54,320 [all exclaiming] I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU. 698 00:30:54,386 --> 00:30:56,255 CHAPTER 1, PAGE 1, RIGHT THERE. 699 00:30:56,322 --> 00:30:58,390 I GUESS IT'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT. 700 00:30:58,457 --> 00:31:01,093 I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. 701 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,030 MAN, FUCK OSAMA BIN LADEN. 702 00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:08,267 (woman) HERE THEY COME. 703 00:31:08,334 --> 00:31:09,368 HI. 704 00:31:09,435 --> 00:31:10,802 COCKTAILS? 705 00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:12,471 *[music playing on stereo] 706 00:31:12,538 --> 00:31:14,740 THANK YOU. 707 00:31:14,806 --> 00:31:16,375 HEY, YOU GUYS, I MAY HAVE SCREWED UP 708 00:31:16,442 --> 00:31:18,144 A LOT OF THINGS IN THE LAST 4 YEARS, 709 00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:21,447 BUT THIS WEEKEND WILL NOT BE ONE OF THEM. 710 00:31:21,513 --> 00:31:25,417 THIS? THESE ARE ALL FOR US? 711 00:31:25,484 --> 00:31:28,220 *[rap music playing] 712 00:31:30,222 --> 00:31:31,857 (Ash) THIS IS NICE. 713 00:31:31,924 --> 00:31:35,161 HEY, GUYS. ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. 714 00:31:35,227 --> 00:31:37,496 MY NAME IS CARMINE T. ANGELO. 715 00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:41,467 AND I AM THE ULTIMATE BACHELOR PARTY PLANNER 716 00:31:41,533 --> 00:31:42,768 AT YOUR SERVICE. 717 00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:44,203 UH, WHAT HAPPENED TO MR. KIDD? 718 00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:48,274 MR. KIDD? MR. KIDD WAS UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED 719 00:31:48,340 --> 00:31:50,342 DUE TO A PRIOR ENGAGEMENT. 720 00:31:50,977 --> 00:31:52,211 GOD DAMN. 721 00:31:53,145 --> 00:31:54,213 [Ash clearing throat] 722 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,481 YOU THE BACHELOR? 723 00:31:55,547 --> 00:31:56,848 HOW COULD YOU TELL? 724 00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:58,250 BECAUSE YOU'RE A LITTLE NERVOUS. 725 00:31:58,317 --> 00:32:00,419 BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M AN EXPERT. 726 00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:04,123 SO, UH, WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT? HAVE YOUR PICK. 727 00:32:04,190 --> 00:32:05,357 [stammering] HOW DO YOU MEAN? 728 00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:06,658 HOW DO I MEAN? 729 00:32:06,725 --> 00:32:08,494 I MEAN, YOU CAN PICK. 730 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,429 EENIE, MEENIE, MINEY, MOE. 731 00:32:12,464 --> 00:32:14,400 ONE. JUST GET ONE AT A TIME. 732 00:32:15,634 --> 00:32:18,237 NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL PICK FOR YOU. 733 00:32:19,505 --> 00:32:22,174 *[rap music playing] 734 00:32:22,241 --> 00:32:24,610 PENELOPE. MMM-HMM. 735 00:32:24,676 --> 00:32:26,678 COME ON, I GOT A LITTLE WORK FOR YOU. 736 00:32:26,745 --> 00:32:29,148 ISN'T SHE A DOLL? 737 00:32:29,215 --> 00:32:30,582 HUH? WHICH ONE? 738 00:32:30,649 --> 00:32:32,184 THIS GUY, RIGHT HERE. 739 00:32:32,251 --> 00:32:34,253 HE'S CUTE. OH, DEAR GOD. 740 00:32:41,994 --> 00:32:44,330 YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE SOME FUN TONIGHT. 741 00:32:44,396 --> 00:32:45,964 HOLD THAT. 742 00:32:46,032 --> 00:32:49,135 (Ash) MY MAN. DON'T--DON'T LET ME DOWN, MAN. 743 00:32:49,201 --> 00:32:51,537 I THINK SOMEBODY NEEDS A NURSE. WHO NEEDS A NURSE? 744 00:32:51,603 --> 00:32:53,605 (Johnny C) I'M--I'M FEELING KIND OF SICK. 745 00:33:03,315 --> 00:33:05,684 [giggling] 746 00:33:05,751 --> 00:33:10,556 LOOK, UM, YOU'RE REALLY BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYTHING BUT... 747 00:33:10,622 --> 00:33:11,990 I WANT YOU. 748 00:33:15,461 --> 00:33:18,230 OK, GUYS. THESE ARE THE RULES. 749 00:33:18,297 --> 00:33:22,434 YOU CAN LOOK, BUT YOU CANNOT TOUCH. 750 00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:25,971 ONLY THE BACHELOR GETS FULL SERVICE ON NIGHT ONE. 751 00:33:26,038 --> 00:33:28,074 BUT DON'T WORRY, YOU GUYS WILL GET YOURS 752 00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:30,109 WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARRIVE TOMORROW NIGHT. 753 00:33:30,176 --> 00:33:31,977 TONIGHT IS ALL ABOUT THE BACHELOR, 754 00:33:32,044 --> 00:33:34,580 AND YOU GUYS GOING OUT ON THE TOWN. 755 00:33:34,646 --> 00:33:37,015 I'VE GOT DINNER RESERVATIONS FOR YOU GUYS AT DRAI'S, 756 00:33:37,083 --> 00:33:38,884 TICKETS TO THE BIG FIGHT, 757 00:33:38,950 --> 00:33:42,188 AND A BACKSTAGE PASS TO MEET MY VERY DEAR, PERSONAL FRIEND, 758 00:33:42,254 --> 00:33:43,655 MR. WAYNE NEWTON. 759 00:33:44,756 --> 00:33:46,024 [woman laughing] 760 00:33:46,992 --> 00:33:48,360 DID YOU JUST SAY WAYNE NEWTON? 761 00:33:48,427 --> 00:33:50,262 NO, I SAID FIG NEWTON. 762 00:33:50,329 --> 00:33:53,065 WE HAVE BACKSTAGE PASSES TO SEE WAYNE NEWTON? IN PERSON? 763 00:33:53,132 --> 00:33:54,633 THAT'S WHAT I SAID. LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 764 00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:56,435 YOU'RE A LITTLE DRUNK THERE. ARE YOU 21? 765 00:33:56,502 --> 00:33:58,804 YOU GOTTA BE 21 TO GO-- YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT, I'M 21, SIR. 766 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,706 OK. GOOD FOR YOU. YOU ARE GODDAMN RIGHT. 767 00:34:00,772 --> 00:34:02,040 I AM MEETING THAT MAN. 768 00:34:02,108 --> 00:34:05,177 OH, OK, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. ALL RIGHT. NO. 769 00:34:05,244 --> 00:34:10,416 OH, WELL, YOU DON'T WANNA DISAPPOINT YOUR FRIENDS. 770 00:34:10,482 --> 00:34:11,650 DO YOU? 771 00:34:16,188 --> 00:34:17,223 [moaning] 772 00:34:17,289 --> 00:34:19,291 HOLY SHIT. 773 00:34:20,892 --> 00:34:22,761 YOU DON'T REALLY THINK HE'S ACTUALLY 774 00:34:22,828 --> 00:34:24,663 DOING ANYTHING WITH HER, DO YOU? 775 00:34:24,730 --> 00:34:26,698 I SURE THE HELL HOPE SO. 776 00:34:38,510 --> 00:34:39,745 YEAH? 777 00:34:40,346 --> 00:34:41,980 [Nathan moaning] 778 00:34:44,350 --> 00:34:46,785 THEN, DEPENDING WHAT YOU GUYS ARE IN THE MOOD FOR, 779 00:34:46,852 --> 00:34:51,457 I'VE GOT YOU ON THE V.I.P. LIST AT LIGHT, WHISKEY BAR 780 00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:54,526 AND THE EMPEROR'S CLUB AT THE CRAZY HORSE TOO 781 00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:56,027 FOR A PRIVATE LAP DANCE. 782 00:34:57,796 --> 00:35:00,098 LOOK. I--I CAN'T. 783 00:35:01,867 --> 00:35:03,535 SURE YOU CAN. 784 00:35:06,004 --> 00:35:07,773 NO, REALLY. 785 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,377 LOOK, I'M SORRY. 786 00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:14,313 YOU'RE THE HOTTEST WOMAN THAT'S EVER WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME, 787 00:35:14,380 --> 00:35:16,014 BUT I JUST CAN'T. 788 00:35:18,550 --> 00:35:21,453 YOU REALLY LOVE YOUR FIANCEE THAT MUCH, HUH? 789 00:35:23,088 --> 00:35:25,757 THAT MUCH AND THEN SOME. 790 00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:28,126 WELL, MORE POWER TO YOU. 791 00:35:31,163 --> 00:35:34,366 THEN WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS? 792 00:35:34,433 --> 00:35:37,536 AND NOW, TO GET THE NIGHT STARTED OFF RIGHT, 793 00:35:37,603 --> 00:35:40,272 HERE ARE SOME HOUSE CHIPS FOR YOU GUYS TO GAMBLE WITH. 794 00:35:40,339 --> 00:35:41,407 WHAT ARE HOUSE CHIPS? 795 00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:43,309 WELL, YOU PLAY THEM JUST LIKE REGULAR CHIPS 796 00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:47,246 BUT YOU DON'T CASH THEM IN UNTIL YOU PLAY THEM AT LEAST ONCE. 797 00:35:47,313 --> 00:35:49,281 GO TO TABLE 4, PIT 5. 798 00:35:49,348 --> 00:35:51,283 JUST DON'T DRAW TOO MUCH ATTENTION. 799 00:35:52,618 --> 00:35:56,087 (Penelope) MORE! NATHAN, GIVE ME MORE! 800 00:35:57,956 --> 00:36:00,091 A LITTLE WORD OF ADVICE, BOYS. 801 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:02,661 ALWAYS LEAVE THEM BEGGING FOR MORE. 802 00:36:07,165 --> 00:36:08,234 LET'S GO GAMBLE. 803 00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:11,136 ALL RIGHT, NATHAN! 804 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:14,940 [all cheering] 805 00:36:16,542 --> 00:36:18,877 (all) BACHELOR! BACHELOR! 806 00:36:18,944 --> 00:36:22,080 BACHELOR! BACHELOR! BACHELOR! 807 00:36:22,147 --> 00:36:24,216 MAN, RIGHT THERE, THE STATUE OF LIBERTY. 808 00:36:24,283 --> 00:36:27,353 "DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT." OH, MY GOD! 809 00:36:27,419 --> 00:36:29,087 OH, MY GOD! 810 00:36:29,154 --> 00:36:30,756 OH, MY GOD! 811 00:36:33,124 --> 00:36:34,493 [all cheering] 812 00:36:37,095 --> 00:36:38,830 HE'S BLOWING! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 813 00:36:38,897 --> 00:36:40,165 EASY. 814 00:36:43,769 --> 00:36:45,737 (Johnny C) NEXT, JOHN. NEXT, JOHN. 815 00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:50,576 I'M GONNA PUT $2,000 ON A HARD 8. 816 00:36:50,642 --> 00:36:52,210 ARE YOU WITH ME? 817 00:36:52,278 --> 00:36:53,779 YEAH, BABY. 818 00:36:53,845 --> 00:36:57,249 THIS ONE'S FROM JOHNNY C, FROM YOU TO ME. 819 00:37:05,524 --> 00:37:07,158 THIS IS FOR YOU. 820 00:37:10,829 --> 00:37:12,331 THANK YOU! 821 00:37:12,398 --> 00:37:16,268 (all) ELI! ELI! ELI! ELI! ELI! 822 00:37:16,335 --> 00:37:19,771 (Johnny C) THAT WORKS. THAT WORKS, BABY. THAT WORKS. 823 00:37:20,339 --> 00:37:21,840 THROW THE DICE. 824 00:37:24,776 --> 00:37:26,177 OH, MY GOD! 825 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:27,846 OH, MY GOD! 826 00:37:27,913 --> 00:37:29,448 OH, HELLO, LOVE. 827 00:37:31,016 --> 00:37:32,518 PASS IT DOWN. TAKE ONE DOWN. 828 00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:33,819 PASS IT AROUND. 829 00:37:33,885 --> 00:37:35,186 ALL RIGHT, WE'RE TAKING A TIME OUT. 830 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:36,922 (man) GENTLEMEN. 831 00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:38,857 YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU GUYS, FOR REAL. 832 00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:41,427 (Johnny C) YEAH, BABY. 833 00:37:46,665 --> 00:37:48,434 ALL RIGHT. LET ME GET THAT ON A-- 834 00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:52,037 GENTLEMEN. GATHER UP YOUR CHIPS AND COME WITH US, PLEASE. 835 00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:53,639 I THINK WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT 836 00:37:53,705 --> 00:37:55,641 HOW THE HIGH ROLLERS GET TREATED, BOYS. LET'S GO. 837 00:37:55,707 --> 00:38:00,178 LADIES, HAVE FUN. TO THE HOUSE. 838 00:38:06,151 --> 00:38:07,252 FUCK. 839 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:09,788 YOU KNOW-- TAKE IT EASY, GUYS. 840 00:38:09,855 --> 00:38:11,189 HERE'S YOUR $50. YEAH. 841 00:38:11,256 --> 00:38:13,359 LET'S GO. 842 00:38:13,425 --> 00:38:15,126 HEY, SIR. SHUT YOUR MOUTH. 843 00:38:15,193 --> 00:38:16,595 BUT, SIR, YOU TOLD ME THAT-- 844 00:38:16,662 --> 00:38:18,997 WHAT DID I JUST SAY? I OUGHT TO PUT THIS OUT IN YOUR FUCKING EAR. 845 00:38:19,064 --> 00:38:20,198 WHAT DID I JUST SAY? 846 00:38:21,933 --> 00:38:23,435 ANSWER ME OR, I SWEAR TO GOD, 847 00:38:23,502 --> 00:38:24,936 I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF 848 00:38:25,003 --> 00:38:26,472 AND USE YOUR NECK FOR AN ASHTRAY. 849 00:38:26,538 --> 00:38:28,106 BUT, SIR, FIRST YOU TELL ME TO SHUT MY MOUTH, 850 00:38:28,173 --> 00:38:29,508 THEN YOU TELL ME TO ANSWER YOU. 851 00:38:29,575 --> 00:38:31,042 IF I DO ONE, I CAN'T DO THE OTHER. 852 00:38:31,109 --> 00:38:33,278 IT'S A QUANDARY. THERE IS NO RIGHT ANSWER. 853 00:38:33,345 --> 00:38:36,247 IT'S A TEST OF CHARACTER, AND YOU FAILED, YOU MORON. 854 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:38,116 OK, BOYS, NOW IT'S YOUR TURN. 855 00:38:38,183 --> 00:38:39,818 OUR--OUR TURN FOR WHAT? 856 00:38:39,885 --> 00:38:42,253 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. I'M GONNA GIVE YOU ONE CHANCE 857 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,691 TO COME CLEAN WITH ME, AND THEN WE'RE GOING OLD SCHOOL, OK? 858 00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:47,325 WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 859 00:38:47,393 --> 00:38:49,761 YOU KNOW, GOD DAMN IT! YOU HAVE THE FUCKING NERVE 860 00:38:49,828 --> 00:38:51,329 TO COME INTO MY JOINT, RIP ME OFF, 861 00:38:51,397 --> 00:38:52,898 AND THEN YOU COME INTO MY OFFICE 862 00:38:52,964 --> 00:38:54,733 AND YOU LIE TO ME TO MY FACE? 863 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,135 SIR, WE--WE REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 864 00:38:57,202 --> 00:38:58,537 WE'RE NOT LYING, AND WE DEFINITELY 865 00:38:58,604 --> 00:38:59,871 WOULDN'T TRY AND STEAL FROM YOU. 866 00:38:59,938 --> 00:39:01,006 OH, YEAH? YEAH? NO. 867 00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:02,708 LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING, GUYS. 868 00:39:02,774 --> 00:39:04,743 YOU SEE THIS? YOU SEE THESE? YEAH. 869 00:39:04,810 --> 00:39:07,045 [buzzing] THESE ARE REAL CHIPS. YOU SEE THAT? 870 00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:09,080 UH-HUH. 871 00:39:09,147 --> 00:39:11,783 THESE ARE THE CHIPS THAT YOU STARTED WITH. 872 00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:14,352 [beeping] 873 00:39:14,420 --> 00:39:15,987 WE DIDN'T KNOW, OK? THEY WERE GIVEN TO US. 874 00:39:16,054 --> 00:39:18,023 BY WHO? CARMINE T. ANGELO, THE BACHELOR PARTY PLANNER. 875 00:39:18,089 --> 00:39:19,758 CARMINE T. ANGELO. 876 00:39:19,825 --> 00:39:21,159 WHO? HE'S A FRIEND OF MR. KIDD. I'M SURE YOU'VE HEARD OF HIM. 877 00:39:21,226 --> 00:39:23,061 YEAH, I'VE HEARD OF HIM. HE'S A LEGEND IN THIS TOWN, 878 00:39:23,128 --> 00:39:24,630 EXCEPT ONE LITTLE PROBLEM. 879 00:39:24,696 --> 00:39:26,331 HE DIED 2 DAYS AGO. 880 00:39:26,398 --> 00:39:28,333 YOU WANNA COME UP WITH ANOTHER STORY? WANNA TRY AGAIN? 881 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:29,501 HE'S DEAD? 882 00:39:29,568 --> 00:39:30,569 GET OUT OF HERE. 883 00:39:30,636 --> 00:39:32,170 IT'S NOT A STORY. SIR, WE... 884 00:39:32,237 --> 00:39:34,072 CAN YOU CALL PENTHOUSE 17, PLEASE? 885 00:39:34,139 --> 00:39:35,941 YEAH--YEAH, JUST TALK TO HIM. 886 00:39:36,007 --> 00:39:38,209 WE'LL BE COOL. WE'LL BE COOL. WE'LL BE FINE. 887 00:39:38,276 --> 00:39:39,978 THIS IS NOT OUR FAULT. 888 00:39:40,045 --> 00:39:41,413 (Eli) LOOK, IT'S YOUR FAULT. SHUT UP. 889 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,181 ELI. ELI. 890 00:39:44,516 --> 00:39:45,917 YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO CHILL. 891 00:39:45,984 --> 00:39:47,152 ELI. ELI. 892 00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:49,488 ELI, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR 5 SECONDS? 893 00:39:49,555 --> 00:39:51,823 (Eli) WE USED COUNTERFEIT CHIPS IN A CASINO IN LAS VEGAS. 894 00:39:51,890 --> 00:39:53,659 THERE'S NOBODY IN PENTHOUSE 17. 895 00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:55,093 [exclaiming] 896 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:56,695 AND THERE'S NO CARMINE T. ANGELO REGISTERED 897 00:39:56,762 --> 00:39:58,096 ANYWHERE IN THE HOTEL. 898 00:39:58,163 --> 00:39:59,898 (Ash) GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, MAN. 899 00:39:59,965 --> 00:40:01,700 WHY IN THE HELL DID I PUT YOU IN CHARGE OF THIS WEEKEND? 900 00:40:01,767 --> 00:40:03,301 NO, LISTEN TO ME, LISTEN TO ME. WHY? 901 00:40:03,368 --> 00:40:05,303 PLEASE, PLEASE. I'M NOT LYING, OK. WE WERE THERE AN HOUR AGO. 902 00:40:05,370 --> 00:40:06,805 WAIT. LOOK. THAT'S HIM! THAT'S HIM! 903 00:40:06,872 --> 00:40:08,907 HEY, HEY. THAT'S HIM! RIGHT THERE! LOOK. THAT'S THE GUY. 904 00:40:08,974 --> 00:40:10,442 THAT'S CARMINE. 905 00:40:10,509 --> 00:40:12,711 THAT IS CARMINE T. ANGELO RIGHT THERE. 906 00:40:12,778 --> 00:40:14,312 THAT GUY? (all) YEAH, YEAH. 907 00:40:14,379 --> 00:40:16,682 THAT GUY? THAT'S THE GUY YOU MET? YEAH. 908 00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:20,018 THAT GUY? HIS REAL NAME IS DOMINIC CALCUTTA. 909 00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:22,788 HE'S ONE OF THE WORLD'S MOST WANTED CASINO THIEVES. 910 00:40:22,854 --> 00:40:23,922 WHAT? WHAT? 911 00:40:23,989 --> 00:40:25,657 OH, WONDERFUL. 912 00:40:25,724 --> 00:40:27,425 (casino owner) WE HAVE A CODE RED. CALCUTTA. CASINO THIEVES. 913 00:40:27,493 --> 00:40:28,694 STAY CALM. STAY CALM. 914 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:30,796 PIT 5, TABLE 4. I'M ON MY WAY. 915 00:40:30,862 --> 00:40:31,997 (Ash) WE GONNA-- 916 00:40:32,063 --> 00:40:34,466 LISTEN, THESE GUYS MIGHT BE WORKING WITH CALCUTTA. 917 00:40:34,533 --> 00:40:36,101 NO. 918 00:40:36,167 --> 00:40:38,303 IF THEY TRY TO LEAVE, I WANT YOU TO GUT THEM LIKE FUCKING PIGS 919 00:40:38,369 --> 00:40:40,105 AND TAKE THESE COUNTERFEIT CHIPS 920 00:40:40,171 --> 00:40:42,641 AND SHOVE THEM RIGHT UP THEIR LONG INTESTINES. 921 00:40:42,708 --> 00:40:45,110 SIR, SIR, SIR. WE'RE NOT WORKING WITH CALCUTTA. 922 00:40:45,176 --> 00:40:47,012 WE'RE NOT WORKING WITH ANYBODY. 923 00:40:47,078 --> 00:40:48,780 [all chattering] 924 00:40:48,847 --> 00:40:50,315 OK, I'M SORRY, BUT WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF THIS. 925 00:40:50,381 --> 00:40:52,584 HEY, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, HUH? HOW COULD YOU HAVE KNOWN THAT 926 00:40:52,651 --> 00:40:55,020 YOU HIRED A NOTORIOUS CASINO ROBBER TO PLAN MY BACHELOR PARTY? 927 00:40:55,086 --> 00:40:57,222 SHIT. THIS IS MY FAULT. 928 00:40:57,288 --> 00:41:00,125 YEAH, IT IS. YOUR FAULT AGAIN. 929 00:41:00,191 --> 00:41:03,328 AND THE REST OF US, WE'RE NOT GONNA FORGIVE YOU, BRO. 930 00:41:03,394 --> 00:41:05,597 NEVER, NEVER AGAIN. LOOK, CHILL, OK? 931 00:41:05,664 --> 00:41:06,832 NEVER AGAIN. ELI! 932 00:41:06,898 --> 00:41:08,333 CALM DOWN, BRO. 933 00:41:08,399 --> 00:41:10,769 HEY, DON'T FORGET COMMANDMENT NUMBER 7: 934 00:41:10,836 --> 00:41:15,273 "NO MATTER WHAT GOES WRONG, ALL PARTICIPANTS MUST PERSEVERE." 935 00:41:15,340 --> 00:41:16,441 NUMBER 9. 936 00:41:16,508 --> 00:41:17,876 YEAH. AND DON'T FORGET IT. 937 00:41:17,943 --> 00:41:20,679 WELL, WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST WE DO, HUH? 938 00:41:20,746 --> 00:41:22,948 WELL, 939 00:41:23,014 --> 00:41:25,050 THERE'S--THERE'S 5 OF US, RIGHT? 940 00:41:25,951 --> 00:41:27,252 AND THERE'S ONLY 2 OF THEM. 941 00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:29,721 I SAY WE TAKE THEM. 942 00:41:29,788 --> 00:41:32,423 GOOD PLAN. ANY OTHER IDEAS? 943 00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:33,925 OH, GOD! OH, MY GOD! LOOK! 944 00:41:33,992 --> 00:41:35,260 (man) WE BETTER GO CHECK THIS OUT. 945 00:41:35,326 --> 00:41:36,962 WHAT IS THAT? (Z Bob) OH, MY GOD. 946 00:41:37,028 --> 00:41:38,196 TELL ME WHAT THAT IS. 947 00:41:38,263 --> 00:41:40,498 THIS IS NOT GOOD. YOU GUYS, THIS IS NOT GOOD. 948 00:41:40,566 --> 00:41:42,500 [gun firing] OH, MY GOD. 949 00:41:42,568 --> 00:41:44,169 ELI, ELI, ELI. DID YOU DO THAT? DID YOU DO THAT? 950 00:41:44,235 --> 00:41:45,704 NO! ELI, CALM DOWN. 951 00:41:45,771 --> 00:41:47,172 ELI, SHUT THE FUCK UP! 952 00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:49,040 GUESS WHO GOT US INTO THIS, TOO. 953 00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:50,408 THE DOOR IS LOCKED. 954 00:41:50,475 --> 00:41:51,743 (Ash) HEY, GUYS. 955 00:41:54,479 --> 00:41:55,947 GO, GO, GO, GO. 956 00:42:15,867 --> 00:42:17,102 (Ash) COMING THROUGH. 957 00:42:18,904 --> 00:42:20,038 [cutlery shattering] 958 00:42:25,811 --> 00:42:26,978 (Ash) IT'S LOCKED. 959 00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:28,346 (Eli) IT'S NOT AN EXIT. 960 00:42:35,621 --> 00:42:38,089 HEY, WHAT'S THE HURRY? YOUR WIFE WANT YOU? 961 00:42:39,524 --> 00:42:41,827 (Ash) SOMEBODY NEEDS TO CLEAN THIS SHIT UP. 962 00:42:44,295 --> 00:42:45,997 NO, NO, NO! MY SOUFFLE! 963 00:42:52,303 --> 00:42:53,304 [door opening] 964 00:42:57,442 --> 00:42:59,144 (woman) WATCH OUT! 965 00:42:59,210 --> 00:43:00,445 (man) SLOW DOWN! 966 00:43:08,386 --> 00:43:11,189 MAN, HOW DO WE GET OUT OF HERE? 967 00:43:11,256 --> 00:43:13,458 NO, NO. THAT WAY! THAT WAY! THAT WAY! 968 00:43:33,344 --> 00:43:35,113 WE NEED TO FIND TRANSPORTATION. 969 00:43:35,180 --> 00:43:36,281 NOW. 970 00:43:39,317 --> 00:43:40,919 ANY OF YOU GUYS INTERESTED IN JOINING 971 00:43:40,986 --> 00:43:43,855 OUR FRIEND'S LAST WEEKEND AS A BACHELORETTE? 972 00:43:43,922 --> 00:43:46,024 IS THIS A GREAT TOWN OR WHAT? YES, YES, WE ARE. 973 00:43:46,091 --> 00:43:47,392 GET IN. 974 00:43:48,359 --> 00:43:51,596 *[music playing on car stereo] 975 00:43:51,663 --> 00:43:55,533 SO YOU'RE, LIKE, GETTING MARRIED, TOO. 976 00:43:56,401 --> 00:43:59,805 THAT IS JUST SO... YEAH. 977 00:44:02,107 --> 00:44:06,011 DOES YOUR FIANCEE DO THINGS FOR YOU? 978 00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:09,314 LIKE? 979 00:44:09,380 --> 00:44:12,784 OH. YEAH. MMM-HMM. YEAH, SHE'S--SHE'S AMAZING. 980 00:44:13,885 --> 00:44:15,486 BUT DOES SHE DO THE 981 00:44:17,388 --> 00:44:18,690 NAUGHTY THINGS? 982 00:44:18,757 --> 00:44:20,591 [women laughing] 983 00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:22,660 WE REALLY APPRECIATE THE RIDE. 984 00:44:22,728 --> 00:44:24,930 OH, YOU WILL. BELIEVE ME. 985 00:44:27,799 --> 00:44:28,934 [women giggling] YEAH. 986 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,001 [exclaiming] 987 00:44:32,537 --> 00:44:33,972 ANY OF YOU GUYS THIRSTY? 988 00:44:34,039 --> 00:44:35,273 (Z Bob) FUCK, YEAH. 989 00:44:35,340 --> 00:44:36,775 (Johnny C) THANKS. 990 00:44:36,842 --> 00:44:39,644 THAT'S SPECIAL BEER. 991 00:44:41,079 --> 00:44:43,448 WHAT'S SPECIAL BEER? 992 00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:46,752 IT'S BEER MIXED WITH ECSTASY. 993 00:44:48,053 --> 00:44:51,122 WE CALL IT ECSTASY BEER. 994 00:44:51,857 --> 00:44:53,224 CLEVER NAME. 995 00:44:54,993 --> 00:44:56,127 SO, 996 00:44:56,194 --> 00:44:58,029 BEING THAT THIS IS OUR BEST FRIEND'S 997 00:44:58,096 --> 00:45:01,232 LAST WEEKEND AS A SINGLE WOMAN AND ALL, 998 00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:03,201 WE WERE WONDERING IF YOU'D, 999 00:45:04,135 --> 00:45:06,137 YOU KNOW. 1000 00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:07,873 [laughing] YOU--YOU KNOW, WHAT? 1001 00:45:08,639 --> 00:45:10,108 SHOW US YOUR DICKS. 1002 00:45:12,778 --> 00:45:17,315 THAT'D BE NO. OH, COME ON. WHY NOT? 1003 00:45:17,382 --> 00:45:18,583 OH, BECAUSE-- 1004 00:45:18,649 --> 00:45:20,485 BECAUSE WHY? YEAH, WHY? 1005 00:45:20,551 --> 00:45:23,421 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHY? 1006 00:45:23,488 --> 00:45:25,290 WILL IT REALLY MAKE YOU HAPPY? 1007 00:45:25,356 --> 00:45:27,893 OH, YES. 1008 00:45:27,959 --> 00:45:29,594 NOW WILL YOU BE ABLE TO GO HOME, 1009 00:45:29,660 --> 00:45:31,162 GET MARRIED, LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER 1010 00:45:31,229 --> 00:45:33,264 NO, NO. ...WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT 1011 00:45:33,331 --> 00:45:36,768 COMPLETE AND TOTAL STRANGERS HAVE SHOWED YOU THEIR PENIS? 1012 00:45:36,835 --> 00:45:38,203 YES! 1013 00:45:38,269 --> 00:45:40,738 "TO VARYING DEGREES OF PUBLIC HUMILIATION 1014 00:45:40,806 --> 00:45:43,008 DURING THE BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND." NO WAY, I'M NOT DOING IT. 1015 00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:45,010 (Johnny C) YOU'RE DOING IT, MAN. NOBODY'S CHICKENING OUT. 1016 00:45:45,076 --> 00:45:47,979 COME ON, YOU DIRTY BITCH, LET'S DO THIS. 1017 00:45:48,046 --> 00:45:49,948 WE'RE GONNA DROP TROU ON 3, YOU GUYS, READY? 1018 00:45:50,015 --> 00:45:52,017 ALL RIGHT, COME ON, FUCK THIS. ON 3, BOYS. 1019 00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:53,384 COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 1020 00:45:53,451 --> 00:45:55,686 COME ON. COME ON, FUCKER! WE'RE SHOWING COCK. 1021 00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:56,855 YES! 1022 00:45:56,922 --> 00:45:58,056 WE'RE SHOWING COCK! 1023 00:45:58,123 --> 00:46:00,091 MY GOD, THIS IS SO WRONG. SO WRONG. 1024 00:46:00,158 --> 00:46:02,160 [women exclaiming] (Z Bob) 1. 1025 00:46:02,227 --> 00:46:03,661 THIS IS SO WRONG. 1026 00:46:05,663 --> 00:46:07,098 THIS IS SO WRONG. 1027 00:46:07,165 --> 00:46:08,299 2. 1028 00:46:10,568 --> 00:46:11,569 FORGIVE ME. 1029 00:46:14,539 --> 00:46:15,573 2 AND A HALF. 1030 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:16,875 (women) OH! 1031 00:46:20,011 --> 00:46:22,347 3, 2, 1! 1032 00:46:22,413 --> 00:46:24,382 [exclaiming] 1033 00:46:32,824 --> 00:46:34,159 (Eli) WHAT'S SO FREAKING FUNNY? 1034 00:46:34,225 --> 00:46:35,526 WHAT? 1035 00:46:35,593 --> 00:46:37,462 WOW. AWESOME. 1036 00:46:38,897 --> 00:46:40,465 THANKS SO MUCH, YOU GUYS. 1037 00:46:41,699 --> 00:46:42,868 [tires screeching] 1038 00:46:44,602 --> 00:46:45,971 (woman #1) BYE, TINY. 1039 00:46:46,571 --> 00:46:47,839 [women laughing] 1040 00:46:49,507 --> 00:46:51,176 (woman #2) BYE. 1041 00:46:51,242 --> 00:46:53,845 DID YOU SEE THOSE LITTLE THINGS? 1042 00:46:53,912 --> 00:46:56,414 THOSE WERE THE SMALLEST WIENERS I'VE EVER SEEN. 1043 00:46:58,516 --> 00:47:00,418 CAN'T BELIEVE THEY WERE DISSING OUR JOHNSONS. 1044 00:47:00,485 --> 00:47:02,820 FAT GIRLS ARE DISSING OUR JOHNSONS. 1045 00:47:02,888 --> 00:47:04,389 FAT, WASTED GIRLS. 1046 00:47:04,455 --> 00:47:06,057 THAT'S IT. 1047 00:47:06,124 --> 00:47:07,492 WHAT'S IT? 1048 00:47:07,558 --> 00:47:09,260 THEY'RE WASTED. 1049 00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:11,462 THE--THE ALCOHOL AND THE ECSTASY, IT DISTORTS THEIR VISION. 1050 00:47:11,529 --> 00:47:13,531 UM, LOOK AT-- LOOK AT ME. 1051 00:47:13,598 --> 00:47:14,599 LOOK AT ME. 1052 00:47:15,533 --> 00:47:18,069 DON'T I LOOK SMALLER TO YOU? 1053 00:47:18,136 --> 00:47:22,007 DON'T I LOOK SMALLER THAN I DO IN REAL LIFE? I GUESS. WHOA. 1054 00:47:22,507 --> 00:47:23,541 WHOA. 1055 00:47:23,608 --> 00:47:25,210 DUDE, SERIOUSLY. I GUESS. I GUESS. 1056 00:47:25,276 --> 00:47:26,577 OK, THEN, THAT'S IT. 1057 00:47:26,644 --> 00:47:28,046 IT WASN'T US, IT WAS THEM. 1058 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,082 IT WAS THEM. 1059 00:47:31,149 --> 00:47:32,850 WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, 1060 00:47:32,918 --> 00:47:34,752 BUT I'M READY TO GO BACK TO CHICAGO. 1061 00:47:34,819 --> 00:47:38,589 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NATHAN. THE ONLY PLACE YOU'RE GOING IS WHERE WE TAKE YOU. 1062 00:47:38,656 --> 00:47:40,625 LOOK, I KNOW YOU GUYS MEAN WELL, OK? HEY. 1063 00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:42,693 SO WE'VE HAD A FEW SETBACKS. 1064 00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,629 THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PUT Z BOB IN CHARGE OF THE WEEKEND. 1065 00:47:44,695 --> 00:47:46,264 I'VE GOT OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES NOW, OK? 1066 00:47:46,331 --> 00:47:47,332 IT'S LIKE-- 1067 00:47:47,398 --> 00:47:51,369 NOT YET YOU DON'T. YOU OWE US. 1068 00:47:51,436 --> 00:47:52,537 GUYS, SERIOUSLY. 1069 00:47:52,603 --> 00:47:54,139 LISTEN TO ME. TURN AROUND AND LOOK. 1070 00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:56,274 LOOK. WE'RE HERE. 1071 00:47:56,341 --> 00:47:57,775 AND WE'RE NOT LEAVING THIS NIGHT 1072 00:47:57,842 --> 00:47:59,210 OR THIS WEEKEND OR ANY OF THAT SHIT 1073 00:47:59,277 --> 00:48:00,912 UNTIL WE SAY WE ARE. ALL RIGHT? LET'S GO. 1074 00:48:00,979 --> 00:48:02,580 Z'S RIGHT. EXCUSE ME. 1075 00:48:02,647 --> 00:48:03,648 [whistles] 1076 00:48:03,714 --> 00:48:05,716 HEY. HEY! 1077 00:48:05,783 --> 00:48:07,218 HEY. I'M NOT TRYING TO GET WITH YOU, 1078 00:48:07,285 --> 00:48:09,320 I JUST LOVE YOU. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ALL. 1079 00:48:09,387 --> 00:48:11,122 (Z Bob) HEY, WE ALL LOVE EACH OTHER. SHOTGUN. 1080 00:48:11,189 --> 00:48:12,223 NO SHOTGUN. 1081 00:48:12,290 --> 00:48:13,724 I WANNA MEET THAT GUY. 1082 00:48:13,791 --> 00:48:15,193 WHO LIKES THE CAR? GET IN THE CAR. 1083 00:48:15,260 --> 00:48:17,462 WAIT. DO IT SMOOTH. DO IT SMOOTH. GET HIM IN THE CAR. 1084 00:48:17,528 --> 00:48:19,864 SMOOTH. IF YOU PUSH ME IN SMOOTHLY 1085 00:48:19,931 --> 00:48:20,966 THAT'S BETTER. ...I'LL GET IN. 1086 00:48:21,032 --> 00:48:22,167 YOU'LL TAKE IT. I LOVE YOU. 1087 00:48:22,233 --> 00:48:23,634 [shushing] I LOVE YOU. 1088 00:48:23,701 --> 00:48:24,769 GET IN THE CAR! JESUS! 1089 00:48:24,835 --> 00:48:25,870 I LOVE YOU. 1090 00:48:29,374 --> 00:48:30,608 (Johnny C) LET'S ROLL. 1091 00:48:37,882 --> 00:48:39,850 NOW I BET YOU GUYS WERE WONDERIN' 1092 00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:43,221 WHAT MY CONTRIBUTION TO THIS WEEKEND WAS GONNA BE. 1093 00:48:45,223 --> 00:48:49,260 GENTLEMEN, WE ARE GOING TO VISIT A PORN SET. 1094 00:48:49,327 --> 00:48:51,196 OH, MY GOD, THIS IS THAT HARD ENTERTAINMENT? 1095 00:48:51,262 --> 00:48:52,463 THAT HARD ENTERTAINMENT. 1096 00:48:52,530 --> 00:48:54,399 I HAVE, LIKE, 50 OF THEIR VIDEOS. 1097 00:48:54,465 --> 00:48:55,566 50? 1098 00:48:55,633 --> 00:48:57,368 IS THAT A LITTLE OR A LOT? 1099 00:48:57,435 --> 00:48:59,170 [mumbling] 1100 00:48:59,237 --> 00:49:01,239 HEY, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. 1101 00:49:01,306 --> 00:49:04,042 WE'RE NOT GOING TO JUST ANY PORN SET HERE. 1102 00:49:04,109 --> 00:49:07,645 WE ARE GONNA WATCH MISS CANDY JUGGS HERSELF. 1103 00:49:07,712 --> 00:49:09,814 OH, MY GOD, I LOVE CANDY JUGGS, DUDE! 1104 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:11,849 I LOVE HER, TOO! 1105 00:49:11,916 --> 00:49:14,719 ASH, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, LET'S--LET'S DO THIS. 1106 00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:16,521 I'M COOL! 1107 00:49:16,587 --> 00:49:19,224 [doorbell buzzing] FUCKING HOT OUT THIS BITCH, THOUGH, ISN'T IT? 1108 00:49:23,028 --> 00:49:24,329 [women giggling] 1109 00:49:27,298 --> 00:49:29,300 WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? 1110 00:49:29,367 --> 00:49:31,436 I'M JOHNNY C. 1111 00:49:31,502 --> 00:49:33,871 I'M--I'M LOOKING FOR HARRY. 1112 00:49:33,938 --> 00:49:36,607 YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE LOOKING RIGHT AT HIM. 1113 00:49:38,476 --> 00:49:40,278 YOU'RE HARRY HARD? 1114 00:49:41,046 --> 00:49:43,514 THE ONE AND ONLY. 1115 00:49:43,581 --> 00:49:47,218 COME ON, GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND. 1116 00:49:47,285 --> 00:49:49,220 COME ON, YOU SWEET LITTLE BOYS, YOU. 1117 00:49:49,287 --> 00:49:51,089 COME ON. 1118 00:49:51,156 --> 00:49:52,957 (Candy) VENUS, YOU LITTLE SLUT. 1119 00:49:53,024 --> 00:49:54,759 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU STARTED WITHOUT ME. 1120 00:49:58,096 --> 00:49:59,164 I CAN GO HOME NOW. 1121 00:49:59,230 --> 00:50:00,631 CUT, CUT, CUT. 1122 00:50:00,698 --> 00:50:02,533 GET THE BOOM OUT. WHICH ONE DID YOU WANT? 1123 00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,169 DOESN'T MATTER. THE BIG-- 1124 00:50:04,235 --> 00:50:06,637 GET... TAKE THE CAMERA, WILL YOU? 1125 00:50:06,704 --> 00:50:08,606 [stammering] WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT? IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME. 1126 00:50:08,673 --> 00:50:10,908 Z, BUDDY, YOU'RE SHAKING A LITTLE BIT. 1127 00:50:10,975 --> 00:50:12,910 (Candy) WHERE DID YOU GET THIS GUY? OVER THERE, SHE-- 1128 00:50:12,977 --> 00:50:15,046 WELL, LET'S GO. I'M GONNA HAVE TO... 1129 00:50:15,113 --> 00:50:16,547 WHOA. I'M GONNA HAVE TO SEARCH YOU 1130 00:50:16,614 --> 00:50:18,483 BEFORE I LET YOU ANY CLOSER TO THE TALENT. 1131 00:50:18,549 --> 00:50:22,220 YEAH, SORRY ABOUT THAT. WE'VE HAD A FEW, UM, INCIDENCES RECENTLY 1132 00:50:22,287 --> 00:50:23,921 AND WE'VE HAD TO UP SECURITY. 1133 00:50:23,988 --> 00:50:25,256 NOTHING BIG. 1134 00:50:25,323 --> 00:50:26,791 YOU AND EVERYBODY ELSE. 1135 00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:28,259 ARMS AND LEGS TO THE SIDE. 1136 00:50:28,326 --> 00:50:29,994 WE'RE JUST GONNA PAT YOU DOWN. SPREAD 'EM. 1137 00:50:30,061 --> 00:50:31,329 WE'LL PAT THEM DOWN A LITTLE BIT. 1138 00:50:31,396 --> 00:50:32,597 PAT THEM DOWN. JUST A LITTLE-- 1139 00:50:32,663 --> 00:50:34,199 EXCUSE ME, THOSE ARE MY BALLS, BRO. 1140 00:50:34,265 --> 00:50:36,434 [exclaiming] JUST DOING MY JOB. 1141 00:50:36,501 --> 00:50:39,170 THANK YOU. 1142 00:50:39,237 --> 00:50:41,239 NICE. HE STUCK HIS FINGER IN MY ASS. 1143 00:50:41,306 --> 00:50:44,609 HE COULD PUT HIS ENTIRE, UNOILED FIST UP MY ASS, FOR ALL I CARE. 1144 00:50:44,675 --> 00:50:46,577 AND YOU-- WEAPONS? 1145 00:50:46,644 --> 00:50:48,179 BIG FINISH, HERE. 1146 00:50:48,246 --> 00:50:50,148 OH, YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YOU, HUH? 1147 00:50:50,981 --> 00:50:52,850 YOU SMELL DELICIOUS. 1148 00:50:52,917 --> 00:50:55,620 ALL RIGHT, LADIES, LADIES, LADIES, COME HERE. 1149 00:50:55,686 --> 00:51:00,057 I WANNA INTRODUCE YOU TO SOME OF YOUR BIGGEST FANS HERE. 1150 00:51:00,125 --> 00:51:01,759 I'M TRYING TO DIRECT A MOVIE HERE. 1151 00:51:01,826 --> 00:51:03,728 YOU CALL THAT DIRECTING? THIS IS SHIT, BUDDY. 1152 00:51:03,794 --> 00:51:05,096 THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. 1153 00:51:05,163 --> 00:51:06,997 YOU'RE DOIN' A TERRIBLE GODDAMN JOB. 1154 00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:08,866 I COULD HAVE A CHIMP DO WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 1155 00:51:08,933 --> 00:51:10,067 FORGET IT. I QUIT. 1156 00:51:10,135 --> 00:51:11,569 YOU QUIT? GET OUT OF HERE. YOU'RE FIRED. 1157 00:51:11,636 --> 00:51:13,138 YOU CAN'T EVEN WORK WITH A DILDO. 1158 00:51:13,204 --> 00:51:15,740 GOD DAMN IT, I'LL USE YOU AS A FUCKING DILDO. 1159 00:51:15,806 --> 00:51:17,308 SORRY. ASSHOLE. 1160 00:51:17,375 --> 00:51:18,676 WHERE WERE WE? 1161 00:51:18,743 --> 00:51:20,044 HELLO, BOYS. 1162 00:51:20,545 --> 00:51:22,180 HOT. 1163 00:51:22,247 --> 00:51:24,749 YOU'RE HERE FOR A BACHELOR PARTY. HUH? 1164 00:51:24,815 --> 00:51:27,051 [stammering] HOW COULD YOU TELL 1165 00:51:27,118 --> 00:51:29,320 THAT WE'RE HERE FOR A BACHELOR PARTY? 1166 00:51:29,387 --> 00:51:31,656 I'M A VETERAN AT THIS. 1167 00:51:31,722 --> 00:51:33,958 (Harry) OH, LITTLE HARDER. LITTLE HARDER. 1168 00:51:34,024 --> 00:51:38,596 OH, WELL, THAT'S NEW. REALLY HARD. 1169 00:51:39,430 --> 00:51:40,565 [groaning] 1170 00:51:40,631 --> 00:51:43,801 NOT THAT HARD. AM I BLEEDING? 1171 00:51:43,868 --> 00:51:46,070 SO WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE 1172 00:51:46,137 --> 00:51:49,540 TO WATCH ME DO TO HER FIRST? 1173 00:51:49,607 --> 00:51:51,976 YEAH. OR ME. YOU KNOW, I'M AVAILABLE. 1174 00:51:52,042 --> 00:51:54,179 I MEAN, A LOT OF THE GUYS GET OFF ON THAT SORT OF STUFF. 1175 00:51:54,245 --> 00:51:57,382 [motorcycle engines revving] I USED TO DO A THING CALLED A 3-LEGGED-- 1176 00:52:03,188 --> 00:52:04,222 OH, SHIT. 1177 00:52:09,860 --> 00:52:11,829 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OH, SHIT"? 1178 00:52:11,896 --> 00:52:13,664 OH, SHIT. OH, SHIT. 1179 00:52:17,935 --> 00:52:19,470 (Iceman) I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, CANDY. 1180 00:52:19,537 --> 00:52:20,938 OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR! 1181 00:52:21,005 --> 00:52:24,275 GO AWAY ICEMAN. CANDY AIN'T HERE. 1182 00:52:24,342 --> 00:52:26,143 I HAVEN'T SEEN HER ALL DAY. 1183 00:52:26,211 --> 00:52:27,945 (man) HEY, CHUCK, THAT'S BULLSHIT. 1184 00:52:30,415 --> 00:52:31,516 [Iceman grunting] 1185 00:52:31,582 --> 00:52:33,951 BY ICEMAN, HE DOESN'T MEAN, 1186 00:52:34,018 --> 00:52:36,821 LIKE, THE ICEMAN, CHUCK LIDDELL, DOES HE? 1187 00:52:36,887 --> 00:52:38,589 WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK HE MEANS? 1188 00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:39,657 [pounding on door] 1189 00:52:39,724 --> 00:52:41,326 YEAH, YOU KNOW, MAYBE--MAYBE YOU GUYS 1190 00:52:41,392 --> 00:52:42,893 SHOULD GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. 1191 00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:45,763 YEAH, MY BOYFRIEND GETS A LITTLE JEALOUS IF ANYONE WATCHES. 1192 00:52:45,830 --> 00:52:47,298 YOUR BOYFRIEND IS CHUCK LIDDELL? 1193 00:52:54,405 --> 00:52:56,874 (Iceman) IF SHE'S GOT ANY VISITORS, I'M GONNA KILL THEM ALL. 1194 00:52:56,941 --> 00:52:58,743 IF SHE'S GOT ANY VISITORS-- 1195 00:52:58,809 --> 00:53:00,645 YEAH, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO THAT WAY. 1196 00:53:03,147 --> 00:53:05,250 HEY, LOOK, I JUST REALLY WANTED TO TELL YOU 1197 00:53:05,316 --> 00:53:06,851 BEFORE WE GO THAT I REALLY ENJOY YOUR WORK 1198 00:53:06,917 --> 00:53:08,419 AND THAT I THINK YOU'RE VERY TALENTED. 1199 00:53:08,486 --> 00:53:10,588 AND I'VE JERKED OFF TO YOU LIKE 4,000 TIMES. 1200 00:53:10,655 --> 00:53:11,756 YOU COUNTED. YEAH. 1201 00:53:11,822 --> 00:53:13,724 HOW SWEET. 1202 00:53:13,791 --> 00:53:16,126 (Iceman) I WARNED YOU ABOUT THIS SHIT. 1203 00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:17,762 [exclaiming] 1204 00:53:17,828 --> 00:53:19,830 UM, LOOK, I JUST GOTTA CHECK SOMETHING REALLY QUICKLY. 1205 00:53:19,897 --> 00:53:21,232 (Iceman) I'M DONE PLAYING. 1206 00:53:21,299 --> 00:53:22,900 HOLY SHIT, YOU REALLY DO TASTE LIKE MY FAVORITE 1207 00:53:22,967 --> 00:53:24,635 BREAKFAST SANDWICH. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1208 00:53:43,921 --> 00:53:45,856 (Ash) HOLY SHIT, YOU GUYS. 1209 00:53:45,923 --> 00:53:48,025 IT'S THE BEAUTIFUL-EST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! 1210 00:53:48,092 --> 00:53:50,695 YOU GUYS CAN GO AND DO WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS YOU WANNA DO, 1211 00:53:50,761 --> 00:53:53,564 BUT I AM GOING ON THE NEXT PLANE BACK TO CHICAGO. 1212 00:53:56,133 --> 00:53:57,935 (Eli) I NEED WATER OR SOME TYPE OF LIQUID. 1213 00:53:58,002 --> 00:53:59,169 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 1214 00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:01,339 SOME TYPE OF LIQUID OR SOMETHING. 1215 00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:07,845 WAIT. 1216 00:54:09,647 --> 00:54:11,148 (Nathan) OH, MY GOD. 1217 00:54:11,215 --> 00:54:13,250 OH, LOOK AT THE CLOWN. 1218 00:54:13,318 --> 00:54:15,185 I'M SORRY I HAVE TO DO THIS TO YOU. THE CLOWN. 1219 00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:17,087 I AM SORRY. WHAT? WHAT? 1220 00:54:17,154 --> 00:54:18,155 [groans] 1221 00:54:19,457 --> 00:54:21,392 YOU SOBER? 1222 00:54:21,459 --> 00:54:22,827 THAT WAS NOT COOL. 1223 00:54:23,594 --> 00:54:24,762 DO IT AGAIN. 1224 00:54:24,829 --> 00:54:25,830 [screams] 1225 00:54:27,432 --> 00:54:29,567 OK? 1226 00:54:29,634 --> 00:54:31,068 CALL ME A NAUGHTY WHORE. 1227 00:54:31,135 --> 00:54:33,003 I'M JOKING. (Iceman) THEY'RE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE. 1228 00:54:33,070 --> 00:54:34,238 I'M READY NOW. LET'S GO. 1229 00:54:34,305 --> 00:54:36,341 I'M READY. 1230 00:54:36,407 --> 00:54:40,244 WAIT, NO. HERE, I KNOW. STEP LIKE THIS. GO. 1231 00:54:40,911 --> 00:54:42,246 OH, GOD. 1232 00:54:42,313 --> 00:54:43,881 HERE. 1233 00:54:43,948 --> 00:54:45,350 THERE YOU GO. GO. 1234 00:54:45,416 --> 00:54:46,717 HURRY UP. 1235 00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:47,785 SORRY, BUDDY. 1236 00:54:47,852 --> 00:54:48,853 OH, MAN. 1237 00:54:48,919 --> 00:54:49,987 YEAH. 1238 00:54:50,054 --> 00:54:51,121 OH, GOD. 1239 00:54:56,827 --> 00:54:58,963 (Ash) COME ON! THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER! 1240 00:54:59,029 --> 00:55:00,431 OH, GOD, THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER. 1241 00:55:09,974 --> 00:55:12,643 OH! I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. 1242 00:55:12,710 --> 00:55:14,278 OH, MAN, FUCK OSAMA BIN LADEN. 1243 00:55:14,345 --> 00:55:16,046 WE SHOULDN'T BE OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THIS. 1244 00:55:16,113 --> 00:55:17,715 WE GOTTA CALL A CAB. NO RECEPTION. 1245 00:55:17,782 --> 00:55:19,450 OH, THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG WALK. 1246 00:55:19,517 --> 00:55:22,820 NO, NOT NECESSARILY. COME ON. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 1247 00:55:22,887 --> 00:55:24,789 (Nathan) OH, WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE DEAD. 1248 00:55:25,490 --> 00:55:26,924 DON'T RUN. 1249 00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:28,659 EXCUSE ME. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD GIVE US A RIDE? 1250 00:55:28,726 --> 00:55:31,228 DAMN! BOYS, DON'T BE SNEAKING UP ON ELVIS LIKE THAT. 1251 00:55:31,295 --> 00:55:33,764 (Z Bob) YOU'RE ELVIS? 1252 00:55:33,831 --> 00:55:35,566 (Eli) EXCUSE ME, MA'AM, IS THAT SPAGHETTI? 1253 00:55:35,633 --> 00:55:37,835 OF COURSE IT IS. I'M THE WORLD FAMOUS 1254 00:55:37,902 --> 00:55:39,136 SPAGHETTI-WRESTLING SHE-ELVIS. 1255 00:55:39,203 --> 00:55:42,272 YOU MEAN YOU BOYS NEVER HEARD OF ME? 1256 00:55:42,339 --> 00:55:45,209 HEY, YOU BOYS HEAR A CASINO GOT ROBBED TONIGHT? 1257 00:55:45,275 --> 00:55:46,811 (Nathan) UH, CAN'T SAY WE HAVE. WHAT? 1258 00:55:46,877 --> 00:55:48,312 YEAH. 1259 00:55:48,379 --> 00:55:49,947 WHAT? WHICH ONE? 1260 00:55:50,014 --> 00:55:51,849 THE GOLDEN NUGGET. YOU KNOW, THE G-NUG. 1261 00:55:51,916 --> 00:55:54,118 BAD GUYS GOT $5 MILLION, RIGHT? 1262 00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:57,154 POLICE CAPTURED THEM, KILLED EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. 1263 00:55:57,221 --> 00:55:58,288 $5 MILLION? 1264 00:55:58,355 --> 00:55:59,657 YEAH. HERE'S THE PISSER. 1265 00:55:59,724 --> 00:56:02,326 THEY DIDN'T RECOVER ONE RED CENT OF THAT CASH. 1266 00:56:07,131 --> 00:56:08,399 (Eli) THAT'S HIM. THAT'S HIM. 1267 00:56:08,466 --> 00:56:09,634 OH, SHIT. 1268 00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:11,702 (Johnny C) WE GOTTA HIDE. WE GOTTA HIDE. 1269 00:56:11,769 --> 00:56:13,638 YOU'RE CHUCK LIDDELL, THE ICEMAN. 1270 00:56:13,704 --> 00:56:14,839 SPAGHETTI. SPAGHETTI. 1271 00:56:14,905 --> 00:56:16,140 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 1272 00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:19,009 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 1273 00:56:19,076 --> 00:56:21,011 [all yelling] 1274 00:56:23,748 --> 00:56:24,749 COVER ME. 1275 00:56:27,151 --> 00:56:28,152 (woman) COAST IS CLEAR. 1276 00:56:28,218 --> 00:56:29,687 YOU BOYS CAN COME UP FOR AIR NOW. 1277 00:56:31,689 --> 00:56:33,524 YOU KNOW, I SURE HATE TO DO THIS TO YOU BOYS 1278 00:56:33,591 --> 00:56:36,193 BUT I'M HAVING SOME REAL BAD MONEY PROBLEMS. 1279 00:56:36,260 --> 00:56:37,428 YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. 1280 00:56:38,763 --> 00:56:39,764 [Eli yells] 1281 00:56:39,830 --> 00:56:41,031 I AM. 1282 00:56:41,098 --> 00:56:43,267 I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND SAY SHE'S SERIOUS. 1283 00:56:43,333 --> 00:56:44,569 (Z Bob) WHAT'RE YOU DOING? 1284 00:56:44,635 --> 00:56:45,836 GET OUT OF THE TRUCK, EMPTY YOUR POCKETS. 1285 00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:47,404 FILL THIS BAG. 1286 00:56:47,472 --> 00:56:48,839 NOW! 1287 00:56:48,906 --> 00:56:50,307 (all) ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. OK. OK. OK. OK. 1288 00:56:50,374 --> 00:56:51,942 (Z Bob) OK, HERE, GRAB MY HAND. 1289 00:56:53,778 --> 00:56:54,879 COME ON, WHAT DO YOU GOT? 1290 00:56:54,945 --> 00:56:56,180 MONEY? CELL PHONES? 1291 00:56:56,246 --> 00:56:57,582 YOU WANT THE BEADS, TOO? 1292 00:56:57,648 --> 00:56:58,949 YOU WANT THE BEADS, TOO? 1293 00:56:59,016 --> 00:57:00,518 IN THE BAG. YOU DON'T NEED THE-- 1294 00:57:00,585 --> 00:57:01,652 PUT THE BEADS IN THE BAG! 1295 00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:03,621 MY MAMA GAVE ME THESE BEADS. 1296 00:57:03,688 --> 00:57:05,690 I PUT ALL MY CHANGE AT THE VENDING MACHINE. 1297 00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:07,157 ALL OF IT! THERE YOU GO. 1298 00:57:08,058 --> 00:57:09,660 DO IT! (Eli) OK. 1299 00:57:09,727 --> 00:57:10,861 (Eli) SHE'S READY... 1300 00:57:11,428 --> 00:57:13,564 DON'T SHOOT ME. 1301 00:57:13,631 --> 00:57:15,365 THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. 1302 00:57:17,234 --> 00:57:19,036 IS THIS TOWN GREAT OR WHAT? 1303 00:57:22,740 --> 00:57:25,209 (Nathan) THAT'S IT! ENOUGH! OK? 1304 00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:26,744 WHAT DID I DO, HUH? 1305 00:57:26,811 --> 00:57:29,313 WHAT DID I DO THAT WAS SO POSSIBLY WRONG? 1306 00:57:29,379 --> 00:57:31,081 WELL, YOU DID PUT Z BOB IN CHARGE. 1307 00:57:31,148 --> 00:57:32,950 OH, DUDE, COME ON, LIKE IT'S MY FAULT 1308 00:57:33,017 --> 00:57:35,219 WE'RE BEING CHASED AROUND BY SOME ULTIMATE FIGHTER GUY? 1309 00:57:35,285 --> 00:57:37,187 HOW COULD I HAVE POSSIBLY KNOWN 1310 00:57:37,254 --> 00:57:38,889 THAT CANDY JUGGS HAD A JEALOUS BOYFRIEND 1311 00:57:38,956 --> 00:57:40,558 WHO WAS GONNA COME AND TRY TO KILL US? 1312 00:57:40,625 --> 00:57:42,560 HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW CARMINE T. ANGELO 1313 00:57:42,627 --> 00:57:44,729 WAS REALLY DOMINIC CALCUTTA, THE CASINO THIEF GUY? 1314 00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:46,130 WELL, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW 1315 00:57:46,196 --> 00:57:49,867 THAT THOSE 2 TWINS WAS GONNA JUMP OUT 1316 00:57:49,934 --> 00:57:51,602 AND SHOOT ME IN MY ASS? 1317 00:57:51,669 --> 00:57:56,173 NO OFFENSE, GUYS, BUT THIS IS THE WORST BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND EVER. 1318 00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:58,275 I GUESS I GOTTA GET USED TO THE FACT THAT 1319 00:57:58,342 --> 00:57:59,977 I'M NEVER GONNA BE AS COOL AS MY BROTHERS. 1320 00:58:00,044 --> 00:58:02,046 Z BOB, NEWS FLASH. 1321 00:58:02,112 --> 00:58:03,514 YOUR BROTHERS AREN'T THAT COOL. 1322 00:58:03,581 --> 00:58:06,884 WITH FRIENDS LIKE YOU, HEY, NO WONDER I'M GETTING MARRIED. 1323 00:58:14,925 --> 00:58:17,928 I GOT SPAGHETTI IN MY ASS. 1324 00:58:17,995 --> 00:58:19,697 RIGHT--RIGHT DOWN THE CRACK OF MY ASS. 1325 00:58:19,764 --> 00:58:21,131 (Z Bob) OH, DUDE. 1326 00:58:25,102 --> 00:58:26,270 (Nathan) GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! 1327 00:58:26,336 --> 00:58:27,437 OH, FUCK. OK, GO. 1328 00:58:27,504 --> 00:58:29,874 THERE THEY ARE. LET'S GO HAVE SOME FUN. 1329 00:58:32,943 --> 00:58:35,846 (Nathan) THE DOOR IS LOCKED, COME ON. 1330 00:58:35,913 --> 00:58:36,914 (Ash) DUDE, COME ON. 1331 00:58:36,981 --> 00:58:38,649 (Z Bob) COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 1332 00:58:40,685 --> 00:58:41,819 ONE MORE. 1333 00:58:44,221 --> 00:58:45,222 (Ash) CLOSE THE DOOR. 1334 00:58:52,462 --> 00:58:54,464 (Iceman) CHECK EVERY ONE OF THESE DOORS. 1335 00:58:59,269 --> 00:59:01,371 THEY CAN RUN, BUT THEY CAN'T HIDE. 1336 00:59:03,173 --> 00:59:04,809 [motorcycle engines starting] 1337 00:59:09,947 --> 00:59:11,248 YEAH, THEY'RE GONE. SSH. 1338 00:59:11,315 --> 00:59:12,449 THEY'RE GONE, NATHAN. 1339 00:59:12,516 --> 00:59:13,684 (Nathan) YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. 1340 00:59:13,751 --> 00:59:15,119 THEY COULD STILL BE OUT THERE. 1341 00:59:15,185 --> 00:59:16,854 *[music playing] 1342 00:59:16,921 --> 00:59:17,955 COME ON, DUDE. 1343 00:59:18,022 --> 00:59:19,556 SORRY. 1344 00:59:19,624 --> 00:59:22,459 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? IF THEY WERE HERE, WE'D ALREADY BE DEAD. 1345 00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:25,262 (Nathan) OH, NOW WHAT? 1346 00:59:25,329 --> 00:59:27,164 IT'S, UH, IT'S LOCKED FROM THE OUTSIDE. 1347 00:59:27,231 --> 00:59:28,733 YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. 1348 00:59:29,834 --> 00:59:31,235 [exclaims] 1349 00:59:31,301 --> 00:59:33,270 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY FAN OUT, AND WE'LL JUST FIND THE LIGHT 1350 00:59:33,337 --> 00:59:36,306 SO WE CAN TELL WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE. 1351 00:59:38,976 --> 00:59:40,144 OF COURSE. 1352 00:59:40,210 --> 00:59:41,912 [clattering] 1353 00:59:41,979 --> 00:59:46,216 NATHAN, NATHAN, HEY, HEY. YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS? I GOT THIS. I GOT THIS. 1354 00:59:46,283 --> 00:59:47,952 EXCUSE ME, LADIES. 1355 00:59:49,219 --> 00:59:53,157 [Johnny C yelling] 1356 00:59:53,223 --> 00:59:55,660 [Johnny C groaning] YEAH, YOU'VE GOT IT, ALL RIGHT. 1357 00:59:55,726 --> 00:59:57,294 (Nathan) YOU OK? 1358 00:59:57,361 --> 00:59:59,797 NEVER BETTER. THANKS. 1359 00:59:59,864 --> 01:00:03,167 GOOD. NOW, LOOK, THERE'S GOTTA BE ANOTHER WAY OUT. 1360 01:00:03,233 --> 01:00:04,434 (Eli) COME ON. 1361 01:00:04,501 --> 01:00:06,336 COME ON, OPEN. 1362 01:00:06,403 --> 01:00:08,673 OPEN, 'CAUSE I'M HERCULES, I'M STRONG. 1363 01:00:11,241 --> 01:00:12,476 OR NOT. 1364 01:00:20,617 --> 01:00:22,252 LOOK, IF YOU GUYS DON'T WANNA TALK TO ME 1365 01:00:22,319 --> 01:00:23,988 AFTER THIS WEEKEND, I UNDERSTAND. 1366 01:00:24,054 --> 01:00:26,390 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAN? 1367 01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:29,393 THIS WEEKEND AND EVERYTHING ELSE I SCREWED UP. 1368 01:00:29,459 --> 01:00:33,163 I MEAN, IF I WERE YOU, I WOULDN'T WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH ME, EITHER. 1369 01:00:33,230 --> 01:00:34,398 WELL, YOU'RE NOT US. 1370 01:00:34,464 --> 01:00:36,200 IF WE WOULD'VE STOPPED BEING FRIENDS 1371 01:00:36,266 --> 01:00:37,702 BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU SCREWED UP, 1372 01:00:37,768 --> 01:00:39,336 WE WOULD'VE DONE IT A LONG TIME AGO. 1373 01:00:39,403 --> 01:00:41,138 YEAH, BUT I'M A TOTAL LOSER. 1374 01:00:41,205 --> 01:00:42,306 WHAT AM I? 1375 01:00:45,442 --> 01:00:49,113 LOOK, NATHAN, I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED. 1376 01:00:49,179 --> 01:00:52,049 IF I WERE YOU, I'D DO IT, TOO. 1377 01:00:52,116 --> 01:00:55,820 MAYBE I'M SCARED I'D NEVER MEET MY LISA, OR MY HALF-AS-COOL-AS-LISA. 1378 01:00:59,256 --> 01:01:01,091 MAYBE I'M SCARED OF BEING ALONE. 1379 01:01:01,158 --> 01:01:04,294 WHO ISN'T, BRO, YOU KNOW? 1380 01:01:04,361 --> 01:01:07,898 TO TELL THE TRUTH, I'VE ALWAYS KIND OF EXPECTED TO END UP ALONE. 1381 01:01:09,834 --> 01:01:12,502 I MEAN, I'M NOT THE MOST STUDLY GUY IN THE UNIVERSE. 1382 01:01:12,569 --> 01:01:14,471 YOU'RE SMART THOUGH, MAN. WOMEN LIKE THAT. 1383 01:01:14,538 --> 01:01:15,940 HE'S NOT THAT SMART. 1384 01:01:16,006 --> 01:01:18,042 WELL, AT LEAST I DIDN'T CHEAT ON MY S.A.T.s. 1385 01:01:18,108 --> 01:01:19,376 NEITHER DID I. 1386 01:01:21,245 --> 01:01:22,880 WHY LIE? 1387 01:01:22,947 --> 01:01:25,082 SAME REASON YOU TRIED TO JOIN THE MILE HIGH CLUB. 1388 01:01:25,149 --> 01:01:26,817 WE ALL TRY TO BE SOMETHING WE'RE NOT. 1389 01:01:26,884 --> 01:01:28,552 THAT DID COUNT. NO. 1390 01:01:28,618 --> 01:01:29,720 YOU KNOW IT DID. 1391 01:01:29,787 --> 01:01:31,488 NO. IT DIDN'T? 1392 01:01:31,555 --> 01:01:34,058 YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE. 1393 01:01:36,961 --> 01:01:39,263 I DIDN'T HAVE SEX EARLIER TONIGHT. 1394 01:01:39,329 --> 01:01:42,332 I ONLY PRETENDED TO BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOU GUYS. 1395 01:01:42,399 --> 01:01:43,968 YOU MEAN TO TELL US THEN YOU DIDN'T EVEN 1396 01:01:44,034 --> 01:01:45,903 TAKE THE LITTLE 2 FINGERS DOWNSTAIRS 1397 01:01:45,970 --> 01:01:48,505 AND PLAY WITH THE LITTLE BATHING SUIT AREA? 1398 01:01:49,774 --> 01:01:51,208 WE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME. 1399 01:01:51,275 --> 01:01:52,442 WE DID? 1400 01:01:52,509 --> 01:01:53,778 YEAH, WE DID. 1401 01:01:54,644 --> 01:01:56,180 BUT WE APPRECIATED THE EFFORT, 1402 01:01:56,246 --> 01:01:57,848 SO WE WEREN'T GONNA SAY ANYTHING. 1403 01:01:57,915 --> 01:01:59,149 YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS WASN'T 1404 01:01:59,216 --> 01:02:01,585 SUCH A BAD BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND AFTER ALL, HUH? 1405 01:02:01,651 --> 01:02:03,287 NO, LET'S BE HONEST. IT SUCKED. 1406 01:02:03,353 --> 01:02:04,454 OK. 1407 01:02:06,190 --> 01:02:09,860 MAN, I'M STARVING. 1408 01:02:09,927 --> 01:02:12,963 FIRST THING I'M GONNA EAT WHEN WE GET OUT OF HERE 1409 01:02:13,030 --> 01:02:16,500 IS PRIME RIB, MASHED POTATOES, 1410 01:02:16,566 --> 01:02:20,704 CANDIED YAMS, SMOTHERED WITH GRAVY. YES. 1411 01:02:20,771 --> 01:02:22,840 I'M GONNA TOP THAT. I'M GONNA HAVE MYSELF 1412 01:02:22,907 --> 01:02:24,975 A GALLON OF COOKIE-DOUGH ICE CREAM 1413 01:02:26,443 --> 01:02:28,545 WITH A NICE BIG CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE ON TOP. 1414 01:02:28,612 --> 01:02:30,147 OK. 1415 01:02:30,214 --> 01:02:31,949 I'M GONNA DIP IT IN THE COOKIE DOUGH-- IT'S MY TURN. 1416 01:02:32,016 --> 01:02:33,417 OH, MAN, YOU DON'T KNOW. 1417 01:02:33,483 --> 01:02:34,819 YOU DON'T KNOW. 1418 01:02:34,885 --> 01:02:39,089 $0.99 SHRIMP COCKTAIL, 6 TINY LITTLE SHRIMPS 1419 01:02:39,156 --> 01:02:41,725 THE LITTLE FACTORY-PROCESSED ONES? 1420 01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:46,096 (Johnny C) SHRIMP. 1421 01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:53,537 [snoring] 1422 01:03:00,811 --> 01:03:03,547 (Z Bob) I MAY HAVE SCREWED UP A LOT OF THINGS IN THE LAST 4 YEARS 1423 01:03:03,613 --> 01:03:05,816 [echoing] BUT THIS WEEKEND WILL NOT BE ONE OF THEM. 1424 01:03:09,053 --> 01:03:11,521 HEY, EXCUSE ME. THIS IS MY BUDDY NATHAN. 1425 01:03:11,588 --> 01:03:13,523 AND IT'S HIS LAST WEEKEND AS A SINGLE GUY. 1426 01:03:13,590 --> 01:03:15,125 SAY NO MORE. 1427 01:03:19,463 --> 01:03:22,366 (Nathan) YES! YES! 1428 01:03:22,432 --> 01:03:26,070 WELL, THANKS FOR THE GREAT BACHELOR PARTY. 1429 01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:27,204 I'M GOING HOME NOW. 1430 01:03:27,271 --> 01:03:28,372 YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 1431 01:03:28,438 --> 01:03:29,606 (Z Bob) YES. 1432 01:03:29,673 --> 01:03:31,241 OH, NO, NO, NO, HEY. 1433 01:03:31,308 --> 01:03:33,777 EXCUSE ME, WHY ARE WE SHIFTING TO HIM? THIS IS MY DREAM. 1434 01:03:33,844 --> 01:03:37,848 ALL RIGHT, THE PANTIES, BUT CAN WE SEE WHAT THEY CAME OFF OF? 1435 01:03:37,915 --> 01:03:39,016 (Nathan) WAKE UP. 1436 01:03:39,083 --> 01:03:40,150 NO, NO, DON'T WAKE ME UP. 1437 01:03:40,217 --> 01:03:42,019 NO. NO, I HAVEN'T GOT LAID YET. 1438 01:03:42,086 --> 01:03:43,820 YOU CAN'T WAKE-- DON'T WAKE-- DON'T WAKE ME UP. 1439 01:03:43,888 --> 01:03:46,123 WAKE UP. WAKE UP. 1440 01:03:46,190 --> 01:03:47,724 (Nathan) COME ON, WAKE UP. 1441 01:03:47,791 --> 01:03:49,293 GET YOUR ASS UP. COME ON. 1442 01:03:50,060 --> 01:03:51,595 GET YOUR... WAKE UP. 1443 01:03:51,661 --> 01:03:53,130 COME ON. WAKE UP. (Nathan) WAKE UP, COME ON. 1444 01:03:53,197 --> 01:03:56,200 WHOEVER IS PISSING ON ME IS A DEAD MAN. 1445 01:03:57,767 --> 01:03:58,969 GET UP. 1446 01:04:00,370 --> 01:04:01,538 WHERE'D YOU GET A MOP? 1447 01:04:01,605 --> 01:04:02,907 I FOUND A BUCKET OUTSIDE. 1448 01:04:02,973 --> 01:04:04,108 OUTSIDE? 1449 01:04:04,174 --> 01:04:05,309 (Nathan) ASH, WAKE UP. 1450 01:04:05,910 --> 01:04:07,978 ASH, WAKE UP. 1451 01:04:08,045 --> 01:04:09,146 I'M UP. 1452 01:04:09,213 --> 01:04:10,414 LOOK, I FOUND A BACK DOOR. 1453 01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:11,648 LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. 1454 01:04:11,715 --> 01:04:14,151 HEY, ELI. I FOUND A WAY OUT. 1455 01:04:15,052 --> 01:04:16,520 YOU'RE CLEAN. 1456 01:04:16,586 --> 01:04:18,989 YEAH, THERE'S A MOP AND BUCKET OUT BACK. 1457 01:04:19,856 --> 01:04:21,458 [spluttering] 1458 01:04:22,059 --> 01:04:23,493 OH, GOD. 1459 01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:24,561 [moaning] 1460 01:04:29,866 --> 01:04:31,168 HEY, WHAT THE-- 1461 01:04:37,007 --> 01:04:38,608 THERE WE GO. GET ME OFF. GET IT OFF. 1462 01:04:38,675 --> 01:04:40,544 OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH. 1463 01:04:40,610 --> 01:04:42,446 HARDER, HARDER, HARDER, HARDER. 1464 01:04:42,512 --> 01:04:43,613 OH, MY GOD. 1465 01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:46,383 NO, NO, IT'S A MOP, DUDE. IT'S A MOP, MOP. 1466 01:04:47,517 --> 01:04:48,685 ALL RIGHT. 1467 01:04:48,752 --> 01:04:51,855 JESUS. FOR A SECOND, MAN, I THOUGHT... 1468 01:04:51,922 --> 01:04:53,657 I THOUGHT FOR A SECOND... 1469 01:04:53,723 --> 01:04:54,891 RIGHT HERE. YEAH, HERE WE GO, DUDE. 1470 01:04:54,959 --> 01:04:56,093 THERE WE GO. 1471 01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:57,827 OH, YEAH. 1472 01:04:57,894 --> 01:04:59,629 RELAX, E, THERE'S NO DOG. 1473 01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:01,265 THERE WE GO. 1474 01:05:01,331 --> 01:05:05,002 [growling] 1475 01:05:05,069 --> 01:05:08,738 SO, ELI, YOU FIGURED OUT HOW WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE? 1476 01:05:08,805 --> 01:05:12,242 WE'RE COMPLETELY FENCED IN, AND WE'RE SURROUNDED BY RAZOR WIRE. 1477 01:05:12,309 --> 01:05:13,643 YOU'RE NOT THINKIN' WE'RE ACTUALLY 1478 01:05:13,710 --> 01:05:15,412 GONNA CLIMB THAT FENCE, DO YOU? 1479 01:05:16,113 --> 01:05:17,147 NO. 1480 01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:26,423 JOHNNY? 1481 01:05:26,490 --> 01:05:28,325 (Z Bob) HEY, JOHNNY C, YOU ALL RIGHT, MAN? 1482 01:05:28,392 --> 01:05:29,659 JOHNNY, CAN YOU HEAR ME? 1483 01:05:29,726 --> 01:05:30,995 DUDE, ARE YOU OK? 1484 01:05:33,063 --> 01:05:34,231 [Johnny C screaming] 1485 01:05:34,298 --> 01:05:35,332 [all screaming] 1486 01:05:38,168 --> 01:05:39,203 [laughs] 1487 01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:40,337 YOU GUYS ARE PATHETIC. 1488 01:05:40,404 --> 01:05:41,571 THAT'S NOT FUNNY! 1489 01:05:41,638 --> 01:05:42,739 (Johnny C) COME ON. 1490 01:05:47,544 --> 01:05:49,046 (Eli) HEY, YOU GUYS, YOU DON'T THINK 1491 01:05:49,113 --> 01:05:50,914 THERE'S ANY RATS DOWN HERE, DO YOU? 1492 01:05:50,981 --> 01:05:54,951 (Ash) ELI, FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, COULD YOU JUST NOT BE A GIRL? 1493 01:05:55,019 --> 01:05:57,587 (Z Bob) WHAT THE FUCK IS... 1494 01:06:07,331 --> 01:06:10,367 PLEASE, DON'T TELL ME THERE'S ANY HEADS IN THERE, OK? 1495 01:06:12,102 --> 01:06:13,203 WELL? 1496 01:06:16,906 --> 01:06:19,443 YOU CAN RELAX, ELI. IT'S NOT SEVERED HEADS. 1497 01:06:20,210 --> 01:06:21,845 HOLY... SHIT! 1498 01:06:21,911 --> 01:06:23,180 OH, MY GOD! 1499 01:06:23,247 --> 01:06:24,581 YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT THIS IS, RIGHT? 1500 01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:27,084 THAT'S THE MONEY THAT WAS STOLEN FROM THE CASINO LAST NIGHT. 1501 01:06:27,151 --> 01:06:29,186 THAT'S $5 MILLION. 1502 01:06:29,253 --> 01:06:30,487 THE PEOPLE THAT STOLE THIS-- 1503 01:06:30,554 --> 01:06:31,821 THEY'RE ALL DEAD! 1504 01:06:31,888 --> 01:06:34,091 WHICH MEANS WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO KNOW WHERE THIS IS. 1505 01:06:34,158 --> 01:06:36,060 YES! HOLY SHIT! 1506 01:06:36,126 --> 01:06:37,261 OH, MY GOD! 1507 01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:39,596 DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS? WE'RE RICH! 1508 01:06:39,663 --> 01:06:40,897 CALM DOWN. WE'RE RICH! 1509 01:06:40,964 --> 01:06:42,032 (Ash) WHOA! 1510 01:06:42,099 --> 01:06:43,867 (Eli) WHOA! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHAT? 1511 01:06:43,933 --> 01:06:45,069 HOLD UP. 1512 01:06:45,135 --> 01:06:47,003 JUST, LET'S THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A SECOND. 1513 01:06:47,071 --> 01:06:49,339 JUST CALM DOWN AND JUST TRY TO THINK ABOUT IT. 1514 01:06:49,406 --> 01:06:51,808 OK? OK. YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. 1515 01:06:53,210 --> 01:06:54,711 THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE 1516 01:06:54,778 --> 01:06:56,246 THAT WOULD KILL FOR THIS MUCH MONEY. 1517 01:06:56,313 --> 01:06:57,981 AM I RIGHT? I THINK HE'S RIGHT. 1518 01:06:58,048 --> 01:06:59,283 WHAT THE-- 1519 01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:00,584 WHOEVER'S NOT COMFORTABLE TAKING THE MONEY 1520 01:07:00,650 --> 01:07:02,752 SHOULDN'T BE FORCED INTO TAKING IT. 1521 01:07:02,819 --> 01:07:04,888 I'M SURE THE REST OF US WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO SPLIT UP YOUR SHARE 1522 01:07:04,954 --> 01:07:07,157 OF $5 MILLION! 1523 01:07:07,224 --> 01:07:08,758 $5 MILLION! HOLY SHIT! 1524 01:07:08,825 --> 01:07:10,327 [screaming] 1525 01:07:12,896 --> 01:07:15,599 (Ash) THERE IS $1 MILLION HERE FOR EACH OF US. 1526 01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:17,767 LET'S KEEP MOVING. 1527 01:07:18,368 --> 01:07:21,105 1, 2, 3. 1528 01:07:21,171 --> 01:07:22,206 [groans] 1529 01:07:22,272 --> 01:07:23,340 (Johnny C) COMING UP. 1530 01:07:23,407 --> 01:07:24,574 COMING UP. 1531 01:07:24,641 --> 01:07:25,642 [grunting] 1532 01:07:27,711 --> 01:07:29,313 MAN. GOT HIM. 1533 01:07:33,150 --> 01:07:35,119 (Z Bob) YOU KNOW, IF SOMEBODY HAD ASKED ME YESTERDAY, 1534 01:07:35,185 --> 01:07:36,653 IF I'D GO THROUGH EVERYTHING 1535 01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:39,656 THAT WE WENT THROUGH FOR $1 MILLION, I'D SAY, HELL, YES. 1536 01:07:39,723 --> 01:07:42,392 AND THE THINGS THAT I'M GONNA DO WITH THIS MONEY. 1537 01:07:42,459 --> 01:07:44,494 2 WORDS FOR YOU FELLAS, 1538 01:07:44,561 --> 01:07:46,530 MUTUAL FUNDS. 1539 01:07:46,596 --> 01:07:48,898 (Johnny C) YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO WITH MY SHARE OF THE MONEY? 1540 01:07:48,965 --> 01:07:53,870 ON RUSH STREET I'M GONNA OPEN UP THE--THE JOHNNY C'S BRA SHOP. 1541 01:07:53,937 --> 01:07:56,340 BUT IN THE BACK, IT'LL BE LIKE A STRIP CLUB. 1542 01:07:56,406 --> 01:07:58,375 (Ash) WITH THIS MONEY I'M MOVING TO JAMAICA 1543 01:07:58,442 --> 01:07:59,976 AND BUY A BIG-ASS FIELD. 1544 01:08:00,043 --> 01:08:01,811 I AIN'T GONNA WASTE MY PLANTS. 1545 01:08:01,878 --> 01:08:03,847 FUCK IT, THE MALE PLANTS GET SMOKED, TOO. 1546 01:08:03,913 --> 01:08:05,815 (Nathan) I'M GONNA GIVE LISA THE BEST WEDDING EVER. 1547 01:08:05,882 --> 01:08:08,084 AND SCREW OUR HONEYMOON. I MEAN, HAWAII? SCREW THAT. 1548 01:08:08,152 --> 01:08:09,619 I'M GONNA-- I'M GONNA TAKE A WEEK OFF WORK, 1549 01:08:09,686 --> 01:08:11,087 AND WE'LL GO TO... NO, I'LL TAKE A YEAR OFF. 1550 01:08:11,155 --> 01:08:12,656 OH, SHIT. 1551 01:08:12,722 --> 01:08:14,824 YEAH, IT'S OFFICIAL. I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED. 1552 01:08:14,891 --> 01:08:15,992 OF COURSE YOU ARE. 1553 01:08:16,059 --> 01:08:17,527 NOT IF I'M IN PRISON. 1554 01:08:17,594 --> 01:08:19,663 HEY, FOR THE RECORD, MEN IN PRISON GET MARRIED EVERY DAY. 1555 01:08:19,729 --> 01:08:21,131 IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE COMFORTING? 1556 01:08:21,198 --> 01:08:23,700 RELAX. RELAX GUYS. NOBODY'S GOING TO JAIL. 1557 01:08:26,170 --> 01:08:28,138 WELL, THAT'S ALL I'M DOING IS WALKING. 1558 01:08:28,205 --> 01:08:31,007 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? ALL I'M DOING IS WALKING RIGHT NOW. 1559 01:08:31,074 --> 01:08:32,609 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I'M JUST WALKING. 1560 01:08:32,676 --> 01:08:34,010 JUST WALKING. WALKING. 1561 01:08:34,077 --> 01:08:35,345 [siren wailing] 1562 01:08:35,979 --> 01:08:37,814 WE'RE RUNNING. 1563 01:08:37,881 --> 01:08:40,684 ALL RIGHT, RUN! I LIED, RUN! 1564 01:08:40,750 --> 01:08:42,219 GUYS! 1565 01:08:42,286 --> 01:08:44,221 YOU CAN'T RUN FROM THE POLICE! 1566 01:08:46,223 --> 01:08:47,224 OH, MY GOD! 1567 01:08:52,396 --> 01:08:53,430 OK, GET DOWN. 1568 01:08:53,497 --> 01:08:54,664 DON'T MOVE! 1569 01:08:54,731 --> 01:08:55,765 STAY RIGHT THERE. 1570 01:08:55,832 --> 01:08:57,167 (officer #1) OK. OK. DON'T MOVE. 1571 01:08:57,234 --> 01:08:58,535 FACE-DOWN. (officer #2) STAY RIGHT THERE. 1572 01:08:59,736 --> 01:09:00,804 (Johnny C) MAN-- 1573 01:09:00,870 --> 01:09:03,340 (boys) WE KNOW. FUCK OSAMA BIN LADEN. 1574 01:09:22,626 --> 01:09:25,061 YOU SAID YOUR IDENTIFICATION IS WHERE AGAIN? 1575 01:09:25,128 --> 01:09:28,164 LIKE I TOLD YOU, MY WALLET WAS STOLEN. 1576 01:09:28,232 --> 01:09:30,900 BY A FEMALE ELVIS IMPERSONATOR? YES. 1577 01:09:30,967 --> 01:09:32,502 SHE'S ALSO A SPAGHETTI WRESTLER. 1578 01:09:32,569 --> 01:09:34,738 THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID, A VERY FAMOUS ONE. 1579 01:09:34,804 --> 01:09:36,340 UH-HUH. 1580 01:09:36,406 --> 01:09:39,443 SHE'S SO FAMOUS, HOW COME I HAVEN'T HEARD OF HER? 1581 01:09:39,509 --> 01:09:41,278 WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THAT PART OF TOWN? 1582 01:09:41,345 --> 01:09:43,413 WE GOT LOST. 1583 01:09:43,480 --> 01:09:46,283 YOU DIDN'T STOP BY THE SET OF A PORNO MOVIE, DID YOU? 1584 01:09:46,350 --> 01:09:50,520 US? NO. JEEZ, I MEAN, I WISH. 1585 01:09:53,056 --> 01:09:54,391 [stammering] WHY DO YOU ASK? 1586 01:09:54,458 --> 01:09:57,026 BECAUSE THE PRODUCER, NAMED HARRY HARD 1587 01:09:57,093 --> 01:10:01,731 AND HIS SECURITY GUARD, WERE BEATEN TO DEATH BY A MANIAC. 1588 01:10:01,798 --> 01:10:04,534 ARE YOU HONESTLY GONNA TRY TO TELL ME THAT YOU GUYS ARE IN TOWN 1589 01:10:04,601 --> 01:10:06,470 FOR A BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND? 1590 01:10:09,273 --> 01:10:11,641 WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING MARRIED? 1591 01:10:11,708 --> 01:10:14,544 I AM. AT LEAST, I WAS. 1592 01:10:14,611 --> 01:10:17,046 WELL, TELL ME ABOUT HER, YOUR FIANCEE. 1593 01:10:17,113 --> 01:10:21,918 SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, SHE'S--SHE'S SMART, SHE'S FUNNY. 1594 01:10:24,220 --> 01:10:26,222 I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER THE FIRST TIME I MET HER. 1595 01:10:28,858 --> 01:10:30,627 SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT GIRL. 1596 01:10:32,262 --> 01:10:33,697 SHE IS. 1597 01:10:35,365 --> 01:10:37,801 TRUTH IS, LISA DESERVES BETTER THAN ME. 1598 01:10:37,867 --> 01:10:41,938 WELL, I'VE NEVER MET HER, BUT I--I GOTTA SAY, I AGREE WITH YOU. 1599 01:10:44,207 --> 01:10:46,810 DO YOU MIND EXPLAINING TO ME HOW A SUPPOSED BACHELOR PARTY 1600 01:10:46,876 --> 01:10:50,347 TURNED INTO ONE OF THE BIGGEST ROBBERIES IN THE HISTORY OF LAS VEGAS? 1601 01:10:50,414 --> 01:10:51,548 WE FOUND THE MONEY. 1602 01:10:51,615 --> 01:10:52,916 WE HAD NOTHIN' TO DO WITH THE ROBBERY. 1603 01:10:52,982 --> 01:10:55,018 THAT'S NOT WHAT THE OWNERS OF THE GOLDEN NUGGET SAY. 1604 01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:56,119 WHAT? 1605 01:10:56,185 --> 01:10:57,521 HE SAID THE 5 OF YOU 1606 01:10:57,587 --> 01:11:00,324 INTENTIONALLY TRIED TO DISTRACT HIM AND HIS SECURITY STAFF. 1607 01:11:00,390 --> 01:11:03,026 THAT'S RIDICULOUS. THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 1608 01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:06,563 IS IT? 12 PEOPLE ID'D YOU AT THE SCENE. 1609 01:11:06,630 --> 01:11:08,598 12 PEOPLE MAKE A JURY. 1610 01:11:08,665 --> 01:11:10,199 YOU BETTER THINK ABOUT THAT. 1611 01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:12,436 HE SAID HIS NAME WAS CARMINE T. ANGELO. 1612 01:11:12,502 --> 01:11:15,439 AND YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WAS DOMINIC CALCUTTA? 1613 01:11:15,505 --> 01:11:18,442 HE SAID HE WAS AN ASSOCIATE OF MR. KIDD. 1614 01:11:18,508 --> 01:11:20,377 MAY HE REST IN PEACE. 1615 01:11:20,444 --> 01:11:22,178 YOU KNEW HIM? 1616 01:11:22,245 --> 01:11:25,349 MR. KIDD THREW MY BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND. 1617 01:11:25,415 --> 01:11:26,950 THAT'S GREAT. 1618 01:11:27,016 --> 01:11:29,419 IT WAS ONE HELL OF A GREAT TIME. 1619 01:11:29,486 --> 01:11:30,920 I'M SURE IT WAS. 1620 01:11:30,987 --> 01:11:34,924 I GOTTA SAY THAT IT WAS PROBABLY THE GREATEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE. 1621 01:11:34,991 --> 01:11:38,728 HE MADE ALL THE ARRANGEMENTS AND EVERYTHING. 1622 01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:42,566 WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE BACKSTAGE PASSES TO SEE WAYNE NEWTON. 1623 01:11:42,632 --> 01:11:45,369 DID YOU GET TO SEE WAYNE'S SHOW? 1624 01:11:45,435 --> 01:11:46,703 NO. 1625 01:11:46,770 --> 01:11:49,138 THAT'S TOO BAD. 1626 01:11:49,205 --> 01:11:53,276 FOR MY MONEY, WAYNE PUTS ON THE BEST SHOW IN TOWN. 1627 01:11:53,343 --> 01:11:57,080 ALL RIGHT, LET'S JUST SAY THAT I BELIEVE YOU FOR A SECOND. 1628 01:11:57,146 --> 01:12:01,585 NOW YOU TELL ME, WHY WOULD SOMEONE PLANNING TO ROB A CASINO 1629 01:12:01,651 --> 01:12:04,354 PRETEND TO BE A BACHELOR PARTY PLANNER? 1630 01:12:05,455 --> 01:12:08,224 TO SET US UP, I GUESS. 1631 01:12:08,291 --> 01:12:10,794 WELL, I GUESS IT WORKED, DIDN'T IT? 1632 01:12:12,261 --> 01:12:14,564 THAT'S IT, MAN. I'M DONE TALKING. 1633 01:12:14,631 --> 01:12:17,100 I'M NOT SAYING ANOTHER THING WITHOUT MY LAWYER. 1634 01:12:17,166 --> 01:12:19,403 ALL RIGHT, HAVE IT YOUR WAY. 1635 01:12:19,469 --> 01:12:22,105 BUT I'M SURE YOU'LL TALK TO THE FEDS. 1636 01:12:23,306 --> 01:12:25,174 LOOK, I SAID... WAIT. 1637 01:12:25,241 --> 01:12:26,943 WHY WOULD I BE TALKING TO THE FEDS? 1638 01:12:27,010 --> 01:12:28,878 I GUESS YOU DIDN'T HEAR. 1639 01:12:28,945 --> 01:12:31,481 F.B.I. AGENT WORKING UNDERCOVER INSIDE THE GOLDEN NUGGET 1640 01:12:31,548 --> 01:12:34,150 WAS KILLED LAST NIGHT IN THE ROBBERY. 1641 01:12:37,587 --> 01:12:39,623 YOU FELLAS ARE LOOKING AT A MINIMUM 1642 01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:43,460 OF CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT MURDER OF A FEDERAL OFFICER. 1643 01:12:43,527 --> 01:12:46,630 THAT'S MANDATORY TIME IN A FEDERAL PENITENTIARY. 1644 01:12:47,597 --> 01:12:49,866 THIS JUST CAN'T GET ANY WORSE. 1645 01:12:49,933 --> 01:12:51,635 OH, YEAH? 1646 01:12:51,701 --> 01:12:53,570 YOU EVER DONE ANY TIME? 1647 01:12:53,637 --> 01:12:55,939 [stammering] CAN'T SAY THAT I HAVE, NO. 1648 01:12:58,842 --> 01:13:00,644 YOU EVER BEEN FUCKED IN THE ASS? 1649 01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:02,178 EXCUSE ME? 1650 01:13:03,913 --> 01:13:05,715 I HAVE. 1651 01:13:05,782 --> 01:13:08,452 OH, YOU BLEED LIKE SHIT THE FIRST TIME. 1652 01:13:09,619 --> 01:13:11,354 BUT YOU GET USED TO IT. 1653 01:13:11,421 --> 01:13:15,091 YOU GET USED TO A LOT OF THINGS IN PRISON. 1654 01:13:15,158 --> 01:13:17,861 LIKE HEARING THE SCREAMS OF DEATH OF SOME POOR FOOL 1655 01:13:17,927 --> 01:13:21,364 ECHOING THROUGH THE COLD NIGHT AIR. 1656 01:13:21,431 --> 01:13:23,967 WHILE YOU TRYING TO JERK OFF 1657 01:13:24,033 --> 01:13:27,504 FOR THE 3RD TIME THAT DAY. 1658 01:13:27,571 --> 01:13:29,773 WONDER WHY EVERY NOW AND THEN 1659 01:13:29,839 --> 01:13:33,276 YOU FIND YOURSELF THINKING ABOUT YOUR SISTER. 1660 01:13:42,686 --> 01:13:44,320 YOU BOYS EVER DONE ANY TIME? 1661 01:13:44,387 --> 01:13:47,023 JUST SAY YES. 1662 01:13:47,090 --> 01:13:48,825 [phone ringing] 1663 01:13:48,892 --> 01:13:51,761 STONE. CHUCK LIDDELL, HOW ARE YOU? 1664 01:13:51,828 --> 01:13:54,130 LISTEN, THANKS FOR THOSE SEATS THE OTHER NIGHT AT THE FIGHT. 1665 01:13:54,197 --> 01:13:56,265 LOIS AND I HAD A GREAT TIME. 1666 01:13:56,332 --> 01:13:57,934 YOU SMELL GOOD. 1667 01:13:58,535 --> 01:14:00,069 YOU SO PRETTY. 1668 01:14:02,271 --> 01:14:04,307 BACHELOR PARTY T-SHIRTS, HUH? 1669 01:14:06,876 --> 01:14:09,713 OK. THANKS FOR THE INFORMATION, CHUCK. 1670 01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:11,948 WE'RE JUST ONE HAPPY FAMILY. 1671 01:14:15,652 --> 01:14:17,721 OK, BOYS, IT'S TIME TO GO. 1672 01:14:19,255 --> 01:14:20,857 TIME TO GO. NO. 1673 01:14:22,492 --> 01:14:23,693 SEE YOU. 1674 01:14:25,862 --> 01:14:27,130 LET HIM GO! 1675 01:14:27,196 --> 01:14:28,498 (Eli) NO! 1676 01:14:28,565 --> 01:14:30,967 YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE. 1677 01:14:31,034 --> 01:14:35,138 YOU COME ON BACK AND SEE GOLD TOOTH REAL SOON! 1678 01:14:35,204 --> 01:14:37,173 GOLD TOOTH GONNA FIND YOU! 1679 01:14:40,276 --> 01:14:41,711 NO, OFFICER STONE, I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU. 1680 01:14:41,778 --> 01:14:43,179 WHY WOULD I WANNA TALK TO YOU? 1681 01:14:43,246 --> 01:14:44,648 I WANNA TALK TO MY LAWYER. 1682 01:14:44,714 --> 01:14:47,016 WHAT YOU MEAN TO SAY IS YOU'RE GONNA TALK TO YOUR DADDY'S LAWYER. 1683 01:14:47,083 --> 01:14:49,452 WELL, HERE'S THE NEWS FOR YOUR DADDY'S LAWYER. 1684 01:14:49,519 --> 01:14:52,488 HE'S GONNA BE VERY EXPENSIVE WHEN HE HAS TO TALK TO THE F.B.I. 1685 01:14:52,556 --> 01:14:55,124 DADDY'S NOT GONNA LIKE THAT. SO GOOD LUCK. 1686 01:14:55,191 --> 01:14:56,693 NEXT CUSTOMER. 1687 01:15:07,336 --> 01:15:09,105 (Z Bob) HOW THE HELL DID THINGS GET THIS BAD? 1688 01:15:09,172 --> 01:15:10,574 (Johnny C) I'LL TELL YOU HOW. 1689 01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:12,642 IF I'D HAVE LET NATHAN GO TO THE AIRPORT WHEN HE WANTED TO, 1690 01:15:12,709 --> 01:15:13,877 WE WOULDN'T BE HERE. 1691 01:15:13,943 --> 01:15:15,378 (Nathan) DON'T EVEN GO THERE. 1692 01:15:15,444 --> 01:15:17,246 I GUILTED YOU INTO STAYING. YOU KNOW THAT. 1693 01:15:17,313 --> 01:15:19,015 (Ash) WE ALL DID. 1694 01:15:19,082 --> 01:15:20,917 (Nathan) HEY, IF THIS IS ANYBODY'S FAULT, IT'S MINE. 1695 01:15:20,984 --> 01:15:22,485 (Z Bob) HOW EXACTLY IS THIS YOUR FAULT? 1696 01:15:22,552 --> 01:15:25,488 BECAUSE, IF YOU WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH, 1697 01:15:25,555 --> 01:15:27,891 I DIDN'T WANT A WILD AND CRAZY BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND. 1698 01:15:27,957 --> 01:15:29,859 WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING? 1699 01:15:29,926 --> 01:15:33,362 SAME REASON YOU LIED ABOUT CHEATING ON YOUR S.A.T.s. 1700 01:15:33,429 --> 01:15:36,032 I WAS TRYING TO BE SOMETHING I'M NOT. 1701 01:15:36,733 --> 01:15:38,401 WELL, THAT'S TRUE. 1702 01:15:45,274 --> 01:15:46,743 OH, MY GOD. 1703 01:15:46,810 --> 01:15:48,812 PLEASE, DON'T TELL ME THAT'S WHO I THINK IT IS. 1704 01:15:52,315 --> 01:15:54,784 OK, I NEED WEED, NOW! 1705 01:15:57,386 --> 01:16:00,657 (guard) TRANSPORT 1-9, WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY SITUATION. 1706 01:16:00,724 --> 01:16:02,726 REPEAT, EMERGENCY. 1707 01:16:02,792 --> 01:16:05,561 TRAVELING WITH 5 SUSPECTS IN A CASINO ROBBERY EAST ON HIGHWAY-- 1708 01:16:05,629 --> 01:16:07,130 [gun firing] 1709 01:16:07,196 --> 01:16:08,598 [tires screeching] 1710 01:16:10,634 --> 01:16:13,002 (Eli) IT'S A FUCKING SHOTGUN! 1711 01:16:13,069 --> 01:16:14,570 [gun firing continues] 1712 01:16:17,073 --> 01:16:18,842 WE'RE GONNA DIE. WE'RE GONNA DIE, GUYS. 1713 01:16:18,908 --> 01:16:21,544 WE'RE NOT GONNA DIE. SHUT THE FUCK UP. 1714 01:16:27,483 --> 01:16:30,086 HOW'S IT GOING BACK THERE, FELLAS? 1715 01:16:30,153 --> 01:16:33,156 GUESS YOU FIGURED OUT WHO REALLY KILLED HARRY. HAVEN'T YOU? 1716 01:16:33,222 --> 01:16:34,590 WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH US? 1717 01:16:34,658 --> 01:16:35,992 I GOTTA FRAME SOMEBODY. 1718 01:16:36,059 --> 01:16:37,761 RELAX. 1719 01:16:37,827 --> 01:16:39,796 THE ONLY THING EACH OF YOU HAS TO DECIDE 1720 01:16:39,863 --> 01:16:41,430 IS HOW YOU WANNA DIE. 1721 01:16:42,031 --> 01:16:43,132 WHAT? 1722 01:16:43,199 --> 01:16:45,168 UH, I'LL TAKE OVERDOSING ON VIAGRA 1723 01:16:45,234 --> 01:16:46,903 WITH TEENAGE NYMPHOS WHEN I'M 90, PLEASE. 1724 01:16:46,970 --> 01:16:48,271 NOT ONE OF YOUR OPTIONS. 1725 01:16:48,337 --> 01:16:50,439 OK, HOW ABOUT THIS? HOW ABOUT JUST A STRAIGHT-UP OVERDOSE? 1726 01:16:50,506 --> 01:16:51,574 NO. 1727 01:16:51,641 --> 01:16:54,744 OK, FINE. WHAT THE HELL ARE OUR CHOICES? 1728 01:16:54,811 --> 01:16:57,180 GETTING CHOPPED UP INTO BITTY PIECES, 1729 01:16:57,246 --> 01:16:58,748 BEING BURNED ALIVE, 1730 01:16:58,815 --> 01:17:01,584 BEING BURIED ALIVE, GETTING EATEN ALIVE 1731 01:17:02,618 --> 01:17:04,087 AND DROWNING. 1732 01:17:04,988 --> 01:17:06,155 YOU'RE GONNA EAT US? 1733 01:17:06,222 --> 01:17:08,958 NOT ME, YOU SICKO. MY DOGS ARE. 1734 01:17:09,025 --> 01:17:10,359 AND ONLY ONE OF YOU. 1735 01:17:10,426 --> 01:17:12,729 EACH OF YOU GETS TO DIE A DIFFERENT WAY. 1736 01:17:12,796 --> 01:17:15,198 YOU CHOOSE. OR I'LL DO IT FOR YOU. 1737 01:17:15,264 --> 01:17:16,632 OH, GOD. 1738 01:17:21,204 --> 01:17:24,073 WONDER WHAT KIND OF DOGS HE HAS. 1739 01:17:24,140 --> 01:17:25,474 *[rock music playing] 1740 01:18:04,313 --> 01:18:05,348 [tires screeching] 1741 01:18:05,414 --> 01:18:06,916 [all exclaiming] 1742 01:18:06,983 --> 01:18:08,617 JESUS. 1743 01:18:08,684 --> 01:18:10,286 IT'S ABOUT TIME. 1744 01:18:12,321 --> 01:18:14,858 I GUESS THIS IS IT. 1745 01:18:14,924 --> 01:18:16,325 WHERE DO YOU THINK WE ARE? 1746 01:18:17,493 --> 01:18:20,596 HELL WOULD BE A FAIR GUESS. 1747 01:18:20,663 --> 01:18:22,999 (man) WHEN I OPEN THIS DOOR, COME OUTSIDE. 1748 01:18:23,066 --> 01:18:24,233 GET OUT OF THERE. 1749 01:18:24,300 --> 01:18:26,936 (Z Bob) TAKE IT EASY, MAN. 1750 01:18:27,003 --> 01:18:28,271 (Ash) OK, I'M GETTING OUT. 1751 01:18:28,337 --> 01:18:29,572 TAKE THIS OFF. 1752 01:18:29,638 --> 01:18:30,940 WHERE ARE YOU TAKING US? 1753 01:18:31,007 --> 01:18:32,608 [groaning] SHUT YOUR HOLE. 1754 01:18:32,675 --> 01:18:34,110 (Eli) FOR THE RECORD, WE'VE ALREADY SEEN YOUR FACES 1755 01:18:34,177 --> 01:18:35,979 SO THE HOODS ARE KIND OF POINTLESS, RIGHT? 1756 01:18:36,045 --> 01:18:38,581 WE'RE NOT GONNA KILL YOU. WE'RE JUST GONNA WATCH. 1757 01:18:38,647 --> 01:18:40,283 (Z Bob) DUDE, YOU LIKE TO WATCH? I LOVE TO WATCH. 1758 01:18:40,349 --> 01:18:42,218 THAT MEANS WE TOTALLY HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON. 1759 01:18:42,285 --> 01:18:43,519 THE MORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH, 1760 01:18:43,586 --> 01:18:45,188 THE LONGER I'LL MAKE YOU SUFFER. 1761 01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:47,290 (Eli) ARE WE IN AN ELEVATOR? 1762 01:18:47,356 --> 01:18:48,591 (Z Bob) WE'RE GOING UP. 1763 01:18:48,657 --> 01:18:50,393 I DECIDED TO SEE IF ONE OF YOU COULD FLY. 1764 01:18:50,459 --> 01:18:52,495 (Nathan) THAT WASN'T ONE OF THE CHOICES. 1765 01:18:52,561 --> 01:18:53,763 CHANGED MY MIND. 1766 01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:55,098 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT? 1767 01:18:55,164 --> 01:18:56,866 UNCUFF ME AND FIND OUT. 1768 01:18:56,933 --> 01:18:58,601 IS THAT SO, BACHELOR BOY? 1769 01:18:58,667 --> 01:19:00,870 YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT. 1770 01:19:00,937 --> 01:19:02,471 LET'S FIND OUT. 1771 01:19:03,739 --> 01:19:05,074 (Eli) OH, SHIT. 1772 01:19:08,611 --> 01:19:10,379 (Nathan) COME ON, TAKE THIS FUCKING HOOD OFF. 1773 01:19:10,446 --> 01:19:11,480 [boys yelling] 1774 01:19:11,547 --> 01:19:12,782 IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE. 1775 01:19:12,849 --> 01:19:14,050 COME ON, ASSHOLES! 1776 01:19:16,219 --> 01:19:17,253 [screaming] 1777 01:19:20,256 --> 01:19:21,891 [screaming] 1778 01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:26,830 [all cheering] 1779 01:19:26,896 --> 01:19:28,932 *[pop music playing] 1780 01:19:55,258 --> 01:19:58,094 ABSOLUTE FUCKING GENIUS! 1781 01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:21,650 I KNEW IT. I DID. NO, THIS IS AWESOME. 1782 01:20:36,132 --> 01:20:38,001 THAT'S INSANE. JAIME PRESSLY'S HERE. 1783 01:20:47,476 --> 01:20:49,212 GENTLEMEN. 1784 01:20:49,278 --> 01:20:51,280 MY REAL NAME IS MR. KIDD. 1785 01:20:52,681 --> 01:20:55,484 WELCOME TO NATHAN'S BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND. 1786 01:20:55,551 --> 01:20:57,586 YOU ARE NOW PART 1787 01:20:57,653 --> 01:21:01,757 OF ONE OF THE LONGEST-RUNNING SECRETS IN THE HISTORY OF LAS VEGAS. 1788 01:21:01,824 --> 01:21:04,260 THE FIRST THING YOU SHOULD KNOW IS THAT 1789 01:21:04,327 --> 01:21:06,762 NONE OF YOU WERE EVER IN ANY REAL DANGER. 1790 01:21:06,829 --> 01:21:08,364 NO ONE ACTUALLY DIED. 1791 01:21:08,431 --> 01:21:10,599 NO ONE WAS EVER EVEN HURT. 1792 01:21:10,666 --> 01:21:12,969 ME OR SOMEONE FROM OUR STAFF WAS 1793 01:21:13,036 --> 01:21:15,771 IN CONSTANT COMMUNICATION WITH EVERYONE 1794 01:21:15,838 --> 01:21:18,274 YOU ENCOUNTERED ALONG THE WAY. 1795 01:21:18,341 --> 01:21:21,710 THE 2ND IS A MESSAGE FROM Z BOB'S BROTHER. 1796 01:21:21,777 --> 01:21:23,279 AND IT READS... 1797 01:21:26,749 --> 01:21:29,185 HOW WAS WAYNE NEWTON, BY THE WAY? 1798 01:21:29,252 --> 01:21:31,988 "WE CAN ONLY HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOURSELVES AS MUCH AS WE DID 1799 01:21:32,055 --> 01:21:34,057 "WHEN WE WERE IN YOUR SHOES. 1800 01:21:34,123 --> 01:21:36,259 "EACH OF YOU IS NOW ONE OF US. 1801 01:21:36,325 --> 01:21:40,763 "FOR THE SAKE OF THOSE WHO WILL FOLLOW, PLEASE NEVER FORGET 1802 01:21:40,829 --> 01:21:42,431 COMMANDMENT NUMBER ONE." 1803 01:21:42,498 --> 01:21:44,000 THANK YOU. 1804 01:21:44,067 --> 01:21:45,368 I KNOW. (Ash) Z? 1805 01:21:45,434 --> 01:21:46,936 (Z Bob) YEAH? YO. 1806 01:21:47,003 --> 01:21:49,939 YOUR BROTHERS ARE COOL. I TAKE IT BACK. THEY'RE COOL. 1807 01:21:50,006 --> 01:21:52,841 EVERY BACHELOR PARTY THAT I ORCHESTRATE IS DIFFERENT. 1808 01:21:52,908 --> 01:21:56,145 BUT WE COULD NOT DO IT WITHOUT THE FULL COOPERATION 1809 01:21:56,212 --> 01:21:58,114 OF THE GOOD PEOPLE OF LAS VEGAS 1810 01:21:58,181 --> 01:22:00,916 AND MY VERY DEAR FRIEND, THE MAYOR. 1811 01:22:03,686 --> 01:22:07,923 WHILE EVERY ADVENTURE IS UNLIKE ANY OTHER, THE POINT IS ALWAYS THE SAME. 1812 01:22:07,991 --> 01:22:11,094 YOUNG MEN COME HERE, THINKING THAT A BACHELOR PARTY WEEKEND 1813 01:22:11,160 --> 01:22:13,529 IS ALL ABOUT PUSHING THE BOUNDS OF DECENCY 1814 01:22:13,596 --> 01:22:15,731 AND STRETCHING THEIR MORAL CODES. 1815 01:22:15,798 --> 01:22:17,233 AND WHILE IT IS, 1816 01:22:17,300 --> 01:22:20,503 WHAT IT REALLY IS ABOUT, IS FRIENDSHIP. 1817 01:22:20,569 --> 01:22:22,705 THE FRIENDSHIP AMONG THE 5 OF YOU, 1818 01:22:22,771 --> 01:22:24,373 THE BONDS THAT YOU HAVE FORGED, 1819 01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,542 THAT YOU ARE SO WORRIED THAT WILL CHANGE 1820 01:22:26,609 --> 01:22:28,544 NOW THAT ONE OF YOU IS GETTING MARRIED. 1821 01:22:28,611 --> 01:22:31,114 AND THE REALITY IS, THE BONDS WILL CHANGE. 1822 01:22:31,180 --> 01:22:32,748 THAT'S LIFE. 1823 01:22:32,815 --> 01:22:35,251 A WEDDING IS WHEN A FATHER GIVES AWAY HIS DAUGHTER. 1824 01:22:35,318 --> 01:22:36,952 BUT A BACHELOR PARTY 1825 01:22:37,020 --> 01:22:40,623 IS WHEN A GROUP OF GUYS GIVE AWAY THEIR BEST FRIEND. 1826 01:22:40,689 --> 01:22:44,793 WELL, NOW YOU CAN, BECAUSE YOU HAVE SHARED ONE FINAL ADVENTURE. 1827 01:22:44,860 --> 01:22:46,996 YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN 1828 01:22:47,063 --> 01:22:51,134 BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALREADY SHARED THE GREATEST THING THERE IS. 1829 01:22:51,200 --> 01:22:52,568 FRIENDSHIP. 1830 01:22:58,774 --> 01:23:00,543 LET ME REMIND YOU THAT, OFFICIALLY, 1831 01:23:00,609 --> 01:23:02,578 THE MAIN EVENT HAS NOT EVEN STARTED YET. 1832 01:23:02,645 --> 01:23:05,848 YOU STILL HAVE A PARTY TO ATTEND, WHICH WILL BEGIN SHORTLY 1833 01:23:05,914 --> 01:23:07,916 AS SOON AS YOUR FRIENDS ARRIVE. ALL RIGHT. 1834 01:23:07,983 --> 01:23:10,753 FOR NOW, I SUGGEST YOU GUYS GO TAKE A SHOWER. 1835 01:23:10,819 --> 01:23:12,521 TRUST ME, YOU NEED IT. 1836 01:23:12,588 --> 01:23:14,823 WHEN YOU RETURN, JOHNNY C... HUH? 1837 01:23:14,890 --> 01:23:17,326 ...PRIME RIB, MASHED POTATOES, GRAVY. OH. 1838 01:23:17,393 --> 01:23:18,594 EVERYTHING YOU WANT. 1839 01:23:18,661 --> 01:23:21,697 ASH, A GALLON OF COOKIE-DOUGH ICE CREAM. 1840 01:23:21,764 --> 01:23:25,000 ELI, SHRIMP COCKTAIL. ALL YOU DESIRE. 1841 01:23:25,068 --> 01:23:27,070 AND Z BOB, GUESS WHAT I GOT FOR YOU. 1842 01:23:27,136 --> 01:23:28,404 WHAT? 1843 01:23:29,672 --> 01:23:31,440 [people yelling] 1844 01:23:31,507 --> 01:23:34,043 *[rap music playing] 1845 01:24:47,816 --> 01:24:49,685 HAS THIS BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME? 1846 01:24:49,752 --> 01:24:51,086 WHAT? 1847 01:24:51,954 --> 01:24:53,422 THIS CAMERA. 1848 01:24:53,489 --> 01:24:54,923 WHAT CAMERA? 1849 01:25:06,669 --> 01:25:08,003 I'M GONNA PASS OUT. 1850 01:25:08,070 --> 01:25:09,205 ALL RIGHT. 1851 01:25:43,706 --> 01:25:45,774 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE 1852 01:25:45,841 --> 01:25:49,077 [laughing] TO WATCH ME DO TO HER FIRST? 1853 01:25:49,144 --> 01:25:51,814 VERY GRACEFUL. THOSE DANCE LESSONS ARE REALLY PAYING OFF. 1854 01:25:51,880 --> 01:25:53,249 I JUST, UM... 1855 01:25:53,316 --> 01:25:55,551 [grunting] 1856 01:25:57,553 --> 01:25:59,355 *[The Catwalk by The Frank Popp Ensemble playing] 1857 01:25:59,422 --> 01:26:02,991 * TIRED OF WAITING, I HAVE TO PREPARE * 1858 01:26:03,058 --> 01:26:06,695 * TO GET MY ASS INTO THE RAGS I WEAR * 1859 01:26:06,762 --> 01:26:10,299 * A WELL ATTENDED FASHION SHOW * 1860 01:26:10,366 --> 01:26:14,069 * I SEE MY BABY SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW * 1861 01:26:14,136 --> 01:26:17,673 * CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, FLASH, FLASH, FLASH * 1862 01:26:17,740 --> 01:26:21,644 * I'M GETTING DAZZLED WHILE THEY STARE AT MY FLESH * 1863 01:26:21,710 --> 01:26:25,047 * CAN'T SEE NO EDGES, OH, WHAT CAN I DO? * 1864 01:26:25,113 --> 01:26:28,684 * GOT NO IDEA SO I'M LOOKING AT YOU * 1865 01:26:28,751 --> 01:26:32,288 * I'M STRUTTING FURTHER, STRUTTING FURTHER * 1866 01:26:32,355 --> 01:26:34,156 * STRUTTING FURTHER 1867 01:26:34,223 --> 01:26:35,258 OH! 1868 01:26:35,324 --> 01:26:36,559 ASSHOLE! 1869 01:26:36,625 --> 01:26:37,893 * STRUTTING ON THE CATWALK 1870 01:26:37,960 --> 01:26:40,162 * I THINK I GOT IT ALL DOWN 1871 01:26:42,831 --> 01:26:45,334 * BUT IF I FALL DOWN 1872 01:26:45,401 --> 01:26:49,672 * I KNOW MY BABY IS GONE 1873 01:26:49,738 --> 01:26:54,977 WE COULD OFFER A HIGHLIGHTER I-INSTEAD OF THE DILDO. SAME FUNCTION. 1874 01:26:55,043 --> 01:26:56,545 TOO SMALL? 1875 01:26:56,612 --> 01:27:00,416 YOU SURE HAVEN'T SEEN THESE HIGHLIGHTERS, MY LADY. 1876 01:27:00,483 --> 01:27:02,017 DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT PICKLE? 1877 01:27:02,084 --> 01:27:03,752 I ATE IT THIS MORNING. 1878 01:27:05,754 --> 01:27:09,124 * BACKSTAGE AGAIN I PUT ANOTHER DRESS ON * 1879 01:27:09,191 --> 01:27:12,761 * SOMEBODY CALLS ME, YOUR MOM'S ON THE PHONE * 1880 01:27:12,828 --> 01:27:16,732 * I'M SORRY, HONEY, YOUR RABBIT IS DEAD * 1881 01:27:16,799 --> 01:27:20,135 * DADDY WAS HUNGRY, THE TASTE WAS NOT BAD * 1882 01:27:20,202 --> 01:27:23,872 I SAID MY LAST LINE, YOU CAN GO NOW! 1883 01:27:23,939 --> 01:27:27,510 * I HAVE TO KEEP ON WITH THE FASHION GAME * 1884 01:27:27,576 --> 01:27:31,179 * I'M SO CONFUSED, I'M BLINDED AGAIN * 1885 01:27:31,246 --> 01:27:34,817 * I HAVE TO WALK STRAIGHT AND LOOK FOR MY MAN * 1886 01:27:34,883 --> 01:27:38,321 * I'M STRUTTING FURTHER, STRUTTING FURTHER * 1887 01:27:38,387 --> 01:27:41,457 * STRUTTING FURTHER 1888 01:27:41,524 --> 01:27:42,591 HEY! 1889 01:27:44,126 --> 01:27:45,193 HEY! 1890 01:27:46,329 --> 01:27:48,130 KEEP THE SHIT COMING! 1891 01:27:49,632 --> 01:27:51,367 * BUT IF I FALL DOWN 1892 01:27:51,434 --> 01:27:53,669 * I KNOW MY BABY IS GONE 1893 01:27:56,038 --> 01:27:58,707 * IT'S ON THE CATWALK 1894 01:27:58,774 --> 01:28:01,544 * WHERE I'VE BEEN LOSING MY SIGHT * 1895 01:28:03,412 --> 01:28:06,114 * IF I DON'T TURN BACK 1896 01:28:06,181 --> 01:28:08,717 * I'LL BE SINGLE TONIGHT 1897 01:28:23,231 --> 01:28:24,333 NEVER. 1898 01:28:24,400 --> 01:28:25,534 NONE OF US ARE GONNA FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. 1899 01:28:25,601 --> 01:28:28,136 NEVER. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER. 1900 01:28:28,203 --> 01:28:31,374 STOP. WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT? 1901 01:28:40,849 --> 01:28:42,585 * STRUTTING FURTHER 1902 01:28:42,651 --> 01:28:44,119 * STRUTTING FURTHER 1903 01:28:44,186 --> 01:28:45,388 I'M STARVING. 1904 01:28:45,454 --> 01:28:46,489 [mumbling] 1905 01:28:46,555 --> 01:28:47,723 SORRY. 1906 01:28:47,790 --> 01:28:49,458 PRIME-- 1907 01:28:49,525 --> 01:28:50,826 [people laughing] 1908 01:28:52,895 --> 01:28:57,299 STOP IT, STOP IT. "GOOSEFABA, GOOSEFABA, GOOSEFABA, GOOSEFABA." 1909 01:28:57,366 --> 01:28:59,635 (director) READY AND ACTION. 1910 01:29:04,373 --> 01:29:06,642 I TRIED. I REALLY TRIED. 1911 01:29:09,712 --> 01:29:12,415 * IF I DON'T TURN BACK 1912 01:29:12,481 --> 01:29:15,518 * I'LL BE SINGLE TONIGHT 1913 01:29:15,584 --> 01:29:19,522 * NO, NO, NO, IT'S ON THE CATWALK * 1914 01:29:19,588 --> 01:29:21,757 * I THINK I GOT IT ALL DOWN 1915 01:29:24,393 --> 01:29:26,695 * BUT IF I FALL DOWN 1916 01:29:26,762 --> 01:29:28,964 * I KNOW MY BABY IS GONE 1917 01:29:29,031 --> 01:29:31,434 * TILL NOW, DID I MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF * 1918 01:29:31,500 --> 01:29:34,236 * IT'S ON THE CATWALK 1919 01:29:34,302 --> 01:29:36,872 * WHERE I'VE BEEN LOSING MY SIGHT * 1920 01:29:38,807 --> 01:29:41,544 * IF I DON'T TURN BACK 1921 01:29:41,610 --> 01:29:44,046 * I'LL BE SINGLE TONIGHT 1922 01:29:44,112 --> 01:29:47,149 * I DON'T WANT TO BE SINGLE, NO, NO * 1923 01:30:02,431 --> 01:30:05,768 OOH, CAN I ASK YOU BOYS SOMETHING? 1924 01:30:05,834 --> 01:30:08,170 (Ash) ANYTHING. 1925 01:30:08,236 --> 01:30:10,773 DID ANY OF YOU HAPPEN TO BRING A DILDO WITH YOU? 1926 01:30:10,839 --> 01:30:12,808 (Z Bob) WAIT? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? WHAT DID YOU SAY? 1927 01:30:12,875 --> 01:30:14,577 YES. 1928 01:30:14,643 --> 01:30:18,013 'CAUSE I'M GONNA DO A DILDO SHOW FOR YOU. 1929 01:30:18,080 --> 01:30:20,015 (man) BRING IN THE DILDO. 1930 01:30:20,082 --> 01:30:21,016 [people laughing] 130449