All language subtitles for All In The Family s05e06 Archies Helping Hand.eng

? BOY, THE WAY
GLENN MILLER PLAYED ?

? SONGS THAT MADE
THE HIT PARADE ?

? GUYS LIKE US, WE HAD IT MADE ?

? THOSE WERE THE DAYS ?

? AND YOU KNEW
WHERE YOU WERE THEN ?

? GIRLS WERE GIRLS
AND MEN WERE MEN ?

? MISTER, WE COULD USE A MAN ?

? LIKE HERBERT HOOVER AGAIN ?

? DIDN'T NEED NO
WELFARE STATES ?

? EVERYBODY PULLED HIS WEIGHT ?

? GEE, OUR OLD
LASALLE RAN GREAT ?

? THOSE WERE ?

? THE DAYS ?

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EDITH!

HEY, EDITH.

"DEAR ARCHIE, IF YOU
GET HOME BEFORE ME,

"THERE WON'T BE NOBODY HOME.

"ME AND IRENE WENT TO
A WOMEN'S CLUB MEETING.

LOVE, EDITH." WHAT A PIP.

NO BEER.

WHAT IN THE...

ANOTHER NOTE.

"DEAR ARCHIE, THERE IS NO BEER

"'CAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN
TO THE MARKET YET.

"BUT IF I GET HOME FIRST,
THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF BEER

AND YOU WON'T FIND THIS NOTE."

COME ON IN, IRENE.

WHOO-HOO! ANYBODY HOME?

YEAH, I'M HOME.

OH, ARCHIE, YOU'RE HOME.

YEAH, I'M HOME. ARE YOU HOME?

YEAH, I'M HOME.

DID YOU GET MY NOTES?

YEAH, BUT I CAN'T EAT
OR DRINK NOTES, EDITH.

I'D SAY HELLO, ARCHIE, BUT I
KNOW YOU'D RATHER HEAR GOODBYE.

OH, SO LONG, FARE THEE WELL,

ARIBADUCHE, TAKE YOUR PICK.

NOW WHICH BAG IS
THE BEER IN, EDITH?

OH, I FORGOT TO BUY IT.

THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU
WAS WITH IRENE.

I'LL GO RIGHT BACK
DOWN TO THE STORE.

NO, DON'T, EDITH.
I'VE GOT SOME BEER.

I'LL BRING IT OVER. OH.

NO, IRENE, YOU SHOULDN'T BOTHER.

WHY, NO BOTHER AT ALL!

THAT'S WHAT NEIGHBORS ARE
FOR. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, IRENE.

THANKS, IRENE.

DINNER'S ALL READY. I
JUST HAVE TO HEAT IT UP.

YEAH, BUT AIN'T YOU A LITTLE
BIT ASHAMED OF YOURSELF?

WHAT FOR?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT FOR?

AIN'T YOU A LITTLE SORRY YOU
WASN'T HERE WHEN I GOT HOME

SO AS YOU COULD SEE ME?

OH, YEAH!

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

BUT THE WOMEN'S CLUB
MEETING WAS SO INTERESTING.

YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE
YOU HANGIN' OUT WITH IRENE.

OH, YEAH, BUT IT'S
SO LONELY FOR HER

SINCE FRANK IS AWAY SO MUCH.

AND SHE AIN'T HAD
MUCH LUCK GETTIN' A JOB.

AND I KNOW HOW SHE FEELS.

REMEMBER, WHEN I
WAS JOB-HUNTING?

YEAH, I HATED IT.

YEAH, I KNOW.

AT THE MEETING,
MRS. STRICKLAND...

OH, I MEAN, MS. STRICKLAND,

THE CHAIRPERSON...

MS., MS., MS.

I HATE THAT "MS." IT
SOUNDS LIKE A BUG.

WELL, ANYWAY, MS.
STRICKLAND SAYS THAT

WOMEN ARE BEING KEPT
OUT OF LOTS OF JOBS

BECAUSE THEY AIN'T
GOT EQUAL RIGHTS.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT MS.
STRICKLAND WAS TALKING IN 2 WORDS,

CRAPOLA.

NO! WE TALKED ABOUT
A LOT OF OTHER THINGS,

BESIDES EQUAL RIGHTS.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT
RUNNIN' A HOUSE?

NO. LOOK, THEY GAVE
THESE OUT AT THE MEETING.

"ARE YOU BEING FULFILLED?"

AM I GONNA GET MY DINNER?

WELL, LET ME READ
YOU SOME OF THIS.

"TO THE WORLD, YOU'RE A WOMAN.

"TO YOUR HUSBAND,
YOU'RE A HOUSEWIFE.

"TO YOUR CHILD, YOU'RE A MOTHER.

"BUT ASK YOURSELF,

'WHO AM I TO ME?'"

WHY SHOULD YOU ASK
YOURSELF WHO YOU ARE TO YOU,

WHEN YOU CAN ASK
ME WHO YOU ARE TO ME?

WHO AM I?

THE DINGBAT.

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THE WAY

YOU'RE RUNNING YOUR
LIFE HERE ANYWAY, HUH?

IT'S THE WORLD'S OLDEST
PROFESSION, RUNNIN' A HOUSE.

ARCHIE.

IS THAT ALL I AM TO YOU?

A COOK, A CLEANING LADY,

AND A SEX OBJECT?

HERE COMES IRENE.

NOW DON'T BE TALKING ABOUT
PERSONALS AND SEXUALS IN FRONT OF HER.

IRENE. ROOM SERVICE.

OH, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, IRENE.
UH, UH, BY THE WAY, UH, IRENE,

I... I DON'T WANT EDITH
GOING TO NO MORE OF THEM

CRACKPOT MEETINGS, EXCUSE ME.

ARCHIE, A WOMAN
HAS A RIGHT TO GROW.

AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE
TO BE CHAINED TO A HOUSE.

WHEN I WAS 19 YEARS OLD,

I DROVE A TRACTOR FOR MY UNCLE.

HE EVEN TAUGHT ME
HOW TO LAY BRICKS.

OH, WHAT A USELESS
THING TO TEACH A GIRL.

IT WAS VERY USEFUL.
I BUILT AN OUTHOUSE.

THAT IS MAN'S WORK.

MAYBE IT WAS A LADY'S OUTHOUSE.

ARCHIE, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
EDITH IS LIKE A FLOWER.

A LATE BLOOMER WHO'S
JUST BEGINNING TO BLOSSOM.

IRENE, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL!

THAT STINKS.

YOU WANNA BLOOM, IRENE,
THEN GO AHEAD AND BLOOM,

BUT DO IT IN YOUR OWN POT, HUH?

ARCHIE, THE WOMEN'S CLUB
ONLY MEETS ONCE A WEEK.

LOOK, IRENE, YOU WANNA DO
SOMETHING USEFUL? LISTEN.

EDITH TELLS ME YOU'VE
BEEN OUT LOOKIN' FOR A JOB.

"LOOKIN'" IS RIGHT.

IT'S ALMOST HOPELESS TRYING
TO FIND ANYTHING THESE DAYS.

WELL, I WOULDN'T
SAY, UH, HOPELESS.

UH, NOT IF YOU GOT, UH,
A LITTLE PULL, YOU KNOW?

UH, LIKE, UH, OLD LADY
DALY, THE BOOKKEEPER'S JOB

IS OPENIN' UP DOWN AT MY PLANT.

OH, MY!

IS MRS. DALY FINALLY RETIRING?

NO, SHE RAN AWAY WITH A GREEK.

ARE YOU SAYING THAT
MAYBE THEY'D HIRE IRENE?

WELL, UH, CAN YOU
HANDLE LEDGERS AND THAT?

YEAH, I CAN EVEN BALANCE 'EM.

I'VE DONE ACCOUNTING.

WELL, GREAT, THEN. WHY DON'T
YOU COME DOWN TO THE PLANT,

11:00 IN THE MORN, I'LL PERSONALLY
INTRODUCE YOU TO PERSONNEL MANAGER.

OH, THAT'S GREAT.

ARCHIE, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

THAT'LL BE TERRIFIC. YEAH.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT, JEEZ,
IRENE. TAKE IT EASY.

DON'T DO THAT WHEN YOU SEE
ME DOWN AT THE PLANT, HUH,

'CAUSE KISSIN', THAT...

IT AIN'T ALLOWED, IT'S AGAINST
THE HEALTH CODE OR SOMETHIN'.

ALL RIGHT, I WON'T.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. YEAH.

BYE. YEAH, YEAH.

BYE. AND GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU.

OH, ARCHIE.

THAT WAS SO NICE.

YEAH, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER.

I HOPE IRENE GETS THE JOB.

IT'LL BRING A LITTLE EXTRA
MONEY INTO HER HOUSE.

YEAH. KEEP A PAIN IN THE
NECK OUT OF MY HOUSE.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOME
REALLY GOOD STUFF IN HERE, MA.

I THINK I'LL GO WITH YOU TO YOUR
NEXT WOMEN'S CLUB MEETING, HUH?

I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE
TO GO TO MY NEXT MEETING

WITHOUT ME.

ARCHIE DON'T WANT
ME TO GO NO MORE.

OH, MA, YOU'LL NEVER CHANGE.

WHATEVER DADDY
WANTS, DADDY GETS.

NOT ALWAYS.

JUST TELL ME ONCE WHEN
HE DIDN'T GET HIS WAY.

JUST ONCE.

WHEN HE WANTED A BOY.

OH, YEAH.

YEAH, HE'S MENTIONED
THAT TO ME ONCE OR TWICE.

HE'S MENTIONED IT TO ME A LOT.

OH, BUT THAT DON'T MEAN
HE DON'T LOVE YOU, GLORIA.

I KNOW, MA.

ALL THE WHILE THAT
I WAS CARRYING YOU,

ARCHIE WOULD SAY TO ME,

"KEEP THINKING BOY,
KEEP THINKING BOY."

SO, THAT'S WHAT I DID.
I KEPT THINKING, "BOY,

BOY, BOY."

EVEN ON THE WAY TO
THE DELIVERY ROOM,

I KEPT THINKING,
"BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY.

DO I WANT A GIRL!"

AND THERE YOU WAS.

TA-DA!

HEY, MA, D-DOES ARCHIE
KNOW ABOUT THIS?

OH, NO. THAT'S THE ONLY SECRET
THAT I'VE KEPT FROM ARCHIE.

?

AND DON'T YOU TELL HIM, NEITHER.

? AROUND A FLAG POLE ?

? I LOVE YOU, DEAR ?

HI, DADDY.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,
HEY. OH, ARCHIE.

WHAT ABOUT IRENE?

OH, YEAH. DID YOU GET HER IN
TO SEE THE PERSONNEL MANAGER?

LITTLE GIRL, JUST LIKE THAT.

I HAPPEN TO BE IN VERY STRONG
WITH MR. SANDERS' PRIVATE SECRETARY,

A MISS HOROWITZ THERE.

WHO, WHEN SHE WAS
COLLECTING FOR THE ISRAELS

LAST YEAR, I PLEDGED
HER HALF A BUCK.

YEAH, BUT DID IRENE GET THE JOB?

WELL, LISTEN. I DONE
THE BEST I COULD FOR HER.

WE DON'T KNOW. WE HAVE TO WAIT
FOR THE NEWS TILL SHE COMES HOME.

OH, I HOPE SHE GETS IT.

STILL, I'LL MISS
HER AROUND HERE.

IT'LL BE LIKE LOSIN' A FRIEND.

YEAH, THAT'S THE IDEA.

I'LL GET IT.

IRENE.

I GOT THE JOB.

THAT'S SO NICE. I KNOW.

WHAT AM I HUGGING YOU FOR?
I SHOULD BE HUGGING ARCHIE.

EASY, IRENE, IN
FRONT OF THE FAMILY.

THAT'S REALLY GREAT NEWS, IRENE.

YEAH, WELL, WHEN DO YOU START?

TOMORROW MORNING.

OH, ARCHIE, I CAN'T
THANK YOU ENOUGH.

THAT'S OK. SO YOU'RE TAKING OVER
OLD LADY DALY'S LEDGERS, HUH?

NO, THAT JOB WAS FILLED.

THEN THEY CHECKED
OVER MY QUALIFICATIONS

AND THEY FOUND OUT THAT I
HAVE A MECHANICAL APTITUDE

THEY CAN USE.

YEAH, YOU ARE
KIND OF MECHANICAL.

SO WHAT, THEY'RE GONNA PUT
YOU ON A MIMEOGRAPH MACHINES?

NO.

LET ME GUESS. UH, THE
SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR.

NOPE, I'M AN ON-THE-JOB TRAINEE,

AND I'M GONNA RUN A FORKLIFT.

WHAT A TERRIFIC JOB!

A WOMAN ON A...

SHUT UP, WILL YOU?

YOU'RE GONNA RUN...

A FORKLIFT.

WHERE?

ON THE LOADING
PLATFORM, WITH YOU.

OH, YEAH?

HEY, ARCH.

OH, HELLO, ARCHIE.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

MY DAY WAS LOUSY.

OH. WHY?

BECAUSE YOUR FRIEND,
IRENE, WAS IN MY DAY.

JUST LIKE SHE'S BEEN
IN ALL THE OTHER DAYS.

5 OF THEM ALL WEEK LONG.

AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE,
COMIN' HOME ON THE SUBWAY,

SHE COMES WITH ME, YOU SEE.

THERE'S ONLY ONE SEAT
LEFT, AND SHE GRABS IT.

I HAD TO STAND ALL THE WAY HOME.

WHAT THE HELL AM I
STANDIN' FOR NOW?

HI, MOM.

OH, HI, GLORIA.

OH! HEY, DADDY.

HEY, HOW DID IRENE
DO AT WORK TODAY?

WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

IT'S FOR IRENE.

SHE'S GOT ALL THE GUYS
IN AN UPROAR DOWN THERE.

THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I MEAN, THEY CAN'T
BE THEMSELVES.

THEY'RE ALL INHABITED.

YOU MEAN "INHIBITED."

THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

NO, YOU SAID "INHABITED."

THE WORD IS "INHIBITED."

I LEARNED IT AT THE
WOMEN'S CLUB MEETING.

IT CAME UP A LOT WHEN THEY WAS
TALKING ABOUT THEIR HUSBANDS.

BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT IRENE.

I NEVER SHOULD HAVE OPENED UP
MY MOUTH ABOUT GETTIN' HER A JOB.

AND I NEVER MEANT TO GET
HER A JOB AS NO FORKLIFTRESS.

ONE OF THE GUYS ON THE JOB,
PETEY ANDERSON WAS VERY HURT.

OH, MY! DID IRENE RUN INTO HIM?

NO, NO, LISTEN TO ME.

PETEY ANDERSON
PUT IN FOR THAT JOB.

HE WAS SORER THAN HELL
WHEN A WOMAN GOT IT.

ALL THE GUYS WERE SORE.

IF I NEVER CLAP MY EYES
ON THE IRENE LORENZO AGAIN,

I'M TELLING YOU
IT'LL BE TOO SOON.

AH, HOLY COW. I CAN'T
DO NOTHING RIGHT TODAY.

HI, EVERYBODY.

HI, IRENE. HOW IS IT GOING?

OH, JUST GREAT.

YOU KNOW, EDITH,
COMING HOME TONIGHT,

I FELT AS IF I HAD REALLY
ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING.

YEAH, YOU ACCOMPLISHED
THE LAST SEAT ON THE SUBWAY.

LISTEN, ARCHIE, I'M
JUST BUSTING WITH IDEAS

ABOUT HOW TO IMPROVE THINGS
ON THE LOADING PLATFORM.

DON'T YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT?

YEAH, SURE, I CAN HARDLY WAIT.

YEAH, TELL US.

WELL, LOOK, IF WE BUILT A RAMP

UP TO THE LOADING PLATFORM,
I COULD DRIVE RIGHT UP

AND PICK THE LOAD
RIGHT UP OFF THE TRUCK.

ONE MOVE INSTEAD OF TWO.

THAT'S WONDERFUL.

THAT'S A TERRIFIC IDEA, IRENE.

THERE'S, UH, THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH IT, THOUGH, YOU KNOW?

WHAT?

THAT ONE MOVE YOU'D
BE CUTTING OUT THERE.

YEAH?

THAT'S MY JOB.

LISTEN, I-I-I'VE GOT
SOME OTHER IDEAS.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

WHY DON'T YOU DO WHAT ALL THE
MEN DO WITH ALL THEIR BRIGHT IDEAS.

THEY DROP THEM IN
THE SUGGESTION BOX.

OH, GOOD. WHERE IS
THE SUGGESTION BOX?

YOU KNOW WHERE
THE MEN'S TOILET IS?

YEAH.

THERE'S 3 OF THEM IN THERE.

I GET THE IDEA.

MAYBE I BETTER COOL
IT FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

YEAH, YOU BETTER
COOL IT FOR A WHILE.

WELL, I'D BETTER GET HOME.

I GOT TO DO MY HAIR AND
NAILS FOR WORK IN THE MORNING.

BYE, IRENE.

BYE.

I THINK WE'D BETTER
EAT DINNER NOW.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D
LIVE TO SEE THE DAY.

HAIR AND NAILS ON A FORKLIFT.

DADDY?

YES?

WAS THAT THE PHONE?

NO. IT'S THE GOOD HUMOR
MAN, RUNNIN' IN THE HOUSE.

HELLO.

OH, HI THERE,
STRETCH. WHAT'S UP?

NO, LISTEN, LISTEN,
LISTEN TO ME.

LISTEN, I KEEP TELLING YOU,

I CAN'T GO UP TO SANDERS'
OFFICE AND HAVE HER FIRED.

I GOT HER THE JOB.

NO, NO, YOU'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO HANDLE THAT YOURSELF.

YOUS GUYS, WILL ALL
GET UP A PETITION THERE.

NO, I CAN'T SIGN IT.

SHE'S MY WIFE'S FRIEND
AND SHE'S A NEIGHBOR.

NOW, LISTEN. GET THAT PETITION.

AND YOU GET IT SIGNED, YEAH?

AND THEN YOU ELECT SOME
SUCKER TO TAKE IT UPSTAIRS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
CONGRATULATIONS?

COULD I SEE YOU A MINUTE,
MR. SANDERS, THERE?

OH, SURE, BUNKER. COME ON IN.

HEY, YOU'RE JUST THE
MAN I WANTED TO SEE.

BUNKER, WE GOT A TROUBLEMAKER
DOWN THERE ON YOUR LOADING PLATFORM.

THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO
SEE YOU ABOUT, MR. SANDERS.

THIS MRS. LORENZO WHO IS...

YEAH, THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.

I HEAR SOMEBODY'S WALKING
AROUND WITH A PETITION

TO GET YOUR MRS. LORENZO FIRED.

WHEN I FIND OUT WHO
THAT TROUBLEMAKER IS,

I'LL BURN HIS BUTT.

THE EQUAL OPPORTUNITY
EMPLOYMENT COMMISSION

HAS BEEN AFTER US FOR MONTHS

TO PUT A WOMAN IN ONE
OF OUR SKILLED LABOR JOBS.

WELL, WE FINALLY FOUND
JUST THE RIGHT WOMAN,

THANKS TO YOU, BUNKER.

AND NOW SOME JERK IS TRYING TO
FOUL US UP WITH A STUPID PETITION.

HEY, YOU'RE LOSING SOMETHING
THERE, BUDDY. OH, THANKS.

TELL ME, YOU KNOW
WHO THIS JERK IS?

UH, WELL, I COULDN'T... I DON'T
THINK I COULD PUT MY FINGER ON IT.

JUST WHAT DO THE MEN
HAVE AGAINST MRS. LORENZO?

ASIDE FROM THE
FACT SHE'S A WOMAN?

WELL, YOU SEE MR. SANDERS,
THAT'S THE WHOLE BEEF.

I MEAN, A WOMAN DOWN THERE ON THE LOADING
PLATFORM MAKES A LOT OF TROUBLE, YOU KNOW?

FOR INSTANCE, WE ONLY
GOT ONE TOILET DOWN THERE.

SO MRS. LORENZO, SHE
GOES TO THE TOILET,

I GOT TO TAKE A MAN
OFF THE JOB TO WATCH.

WATCH WHAT?

OH, SEE. THE LOCK ON THE
TOILET DOOR IS BUSTED, SEE?

AND WE DON'T WANT NOBODY
TO WALK IN ON HER BY ACCIDENT.

WELL, THAT'S NO PROBLEM.
WE'LL JUST GET THE LOCK FIXED.

THAT'S GOOD EXECUTIVE
THINKING, MR. SANDERS.

IF THE MEN HAVE TIME
FOR STUPID COMPLAINTS.

MAYBE THE SOLUTION
IS TO LET THE MEN GO,

AND FILL ALL THEIR
JOBS WITH WOMEN.

OH, NO, I DON'T THINK YOU
WANT TO DO THAT, MR. SANDERS.

'CAUSE WHOEVER
THIS TROUBLE MAKER IS,

HE'S JUST MAKING A
WHOLE LOT OF NOISE.

YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING,

"SLEEPING DOGS
BARK THE LOUDEST."

BUNKER, I WANT THIS HARASSMENT
OF MRS. LORENZO STOPPED.

WE CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE HER.

HAVING A WOMAN DOWN ON THE
LOADING DOCK MAKES THE UNION HAPPY,

IT MAKES THE DEPARTMENT
OF LABOR HAPPY,

AND IT MAKES THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT HAPPY.

AND SINCE OUR BUSINESS DEPENDS ON
GOVERNMENT CONTRACTS, IT MAKES ME HAPPY.

IT SHOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY, TOO.

OH, I'M DELIRIOUS, MR. SANDERS.

I'LL GO DOWN AND GET THE LOCK
ON THE TOILET FIXED RIGHT AWAY.

NOW, LOOK, LOOK, BUNKER. YOU
THE FOREMAN DOWN THERE OR NOT?

YEAH, I AM.

ALL RIGHT, THEN ACT LIKE ONE!

I WANT YOU TO TALK TO YOUR MEN
DOWN THERE. LEAN ON 'EM GOOD.

YES, SIR. AND ONE MORE THING.

IF YOU SEE THIS PETITION
FLOATING AROUND, GRAB IT.

OH, OH, THAT'S AS GOOD AS
IN MY POCKET, MR. SANDERS.

OH, HELLO, ARCHIE.

ARCHIE, DID IRENE COME
HOME WITH YOU TONIGHT?

NO, I LOST HER ON THE SUBWAY.

OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.

I DITCHED HER IN A
CROWD OF PUERTO RICANS.

ARCHIE, IRENE CALLED
ME UP THIS MORNING

AND SHE SOUNDED
LIKE SHE'D BEEN CRYING.

SHE SAID THAT
SOMEBODY DOWN THERE

HAD STARTED A PETITION
TO GET HER FIRED.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

WHO WOULD WANT TO DO
A ROTTEN THING LIKE THAT?

HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW?
I JUST DO MY WORK THERE.

OBVIOUSLY STARTED BY
SOME CHAUVINISTIC MORON.

HEY, HEY, HEY, LITTLE GIRL.

JUST CAUSE A GUY DON'T WANT TO WORK WITH
THE DAMES IS NO REASON TO CALL HIM NAMES.

UH-OH.

THAT'S A ROTTEN STATEMENT.

YOU STARTED THAT
PETITION, DIDN'T YOU?

I DID NOT START NO PETITION.

OH, BUT YOU WERE IN
ON IT. LOOK AT YOUR FACE.

HOW CAN I LOOK AT MY FACE?
IS MY FACE DOUBLE-JOINTED?

COME ON! ALL OF YOUS LEAVE ME
ALONE HERE. YOU, GET ME SOME BEER.

CAN'T A MAN WALK INTO HIS HOME

WITHOUT BEING
SURROUNDED BY HIS FAMILY?

WILL YOU GET ME THAT BEER?

FIRST, I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY YOU
HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT PETITION.

THAT'S THE FRONT
DOORBELL, EDITH?

THAT'S THE FRONT
DOORBELL AGAIN, EDITH?

YOU WANT ONE OF YOUR NEIGHBORS
TO DROP DEAD ON YOUR DOORSTEP?

ALL RIGHT. I'LL GET IT.

GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU.

I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE.

OH, IRENE, THE FAMILY!

I WAS GONNA DO
THAT ON THE SUBWAY,

BUT SOMEHOW I GOT
LOST IN THE CROWD.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS
WONDERFUL LITTLE GUBBINS DID?

HE KILLED THAT PETITION.

ARCHIE? YEAH.

YEAH, CAN'T YOU TELL BY MY FACE?

OH, ARCHIE.

OH, I'M SORRY, DADDY.

MICHAEL, YOU OUGHT TO
BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

IRENE, ARE YOU SURE IT WAS
ARCHIE WHO KILLED THE PETITION?

ARE YOU KIDDING? HE WAS A TIGER.

HE TOLD THE MEN TO STOP BUGGING ME
AND TO START TREATING ME WITH RESPECT.

HE EVEN SENT A MAN TO
THE JOHN WITH AN ERASER.

YEAH, THAT WAS
STRETCH CUNNINGHAM.

NEARLY BROKE HIS HEART.

SOME OF HIS BEST SAYINGS
WAS ON THEM WALLS.

I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU, DADDY.

OH, YEAH.

GUESS I OWE YOU
AN APOLOGY, ARCH.

NOT TO MENTION, 4
YEARS ROOM AND BOARD.

IRENE, WHY DON'T
YOU STAY TO DINNER?

THANKS, I'D LOVE IT.

ARCHIE, I KNOW, FEELING THE
WAY YOU DO ABOUT WOMEN,

IT TOOK A BIG PERSON
TO DO WHAT YOU DID.

VERY TRUE, IRENE.

BUT I SAID TO THE GUYS,

"WELL, SHE'S DOING A MAN'S JOB,
SHE'S WEARING MEN'S CLOTHES,

SO WHEN YOU SEE HER IN THE
MORNING, JUST SAY, 'HI, FELLA.'"

GEE, THANKS, ARCHIE.

THE NEXT STEP IS TO GET
THEM TO PAY ME LIKE A FELLA.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

OH, THEY'RE PUTTING ME
ON REGULAR NEXT WEEK,

BUT THEY ARE PAYING ME LESS THAN THEY
PAID THE MAN WHO USED TO RUN THE FORKLIFT.

OH, WELL, COME ON, IRENE.

AFTER ALL, IT'S A
WELL KNOWN FACT,

MEN ARE WORTH MORE THAN WOMEN.

ARCHIE, HAVE YOU
BEEN READING PLAYBOY?

NO, IRENE, THE BIBLE.

THE BIBLE?

THE BIBLE.

AND IN THE BIBLE IT SAYS,
"GOD MADE MAN HIS OWN IMAGE."

HE MADE WOMEN AFTER, FROM A RIB.

A CHEAPER CUT.

OH, ARCHIE!

I'M DOING THE SAME
WORK AS A MAN.

AND IF HE WAS GETTING
PAID $6 AN HOUR,

WHY SHOULD I GET $5.50?

BECAUSE, IRENE, YOU...
YOU'RE GETTIN' WHAT?

YOU'RE GETTIN'...

YOU'RE GETTING' $5.50 AN HOUR?

ARCHIE, THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT THEY'RE PAYING YOU.

LIKE THEY'RE PAYING ME!

THERE GOES YOUR RIB THEORY.

AND THERE GOES THE
WHOLE COUNTRY, MEATHEAD.

WHEN YOU SEE THE DAY THAT THEY
ARE GIVING WOMEN THE SAME PAY AS MEN,

AND GIVING WOMEN THE SAME JOBS,

WHERE IN THE HELL IS
IT ALL GOING TO END?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY WHEN
A WOMAN IS MANAGING THE METS?

I'LL SAY WE HAVE
EQUALITY, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

RIGHT, MICHAEL?

LET'S THINK ABOUT THAT A MINUTE.

YEAH, YEAH.

AND WHILE YOU'RE THINKING
ABOUT IT, THINK ABOUT THIS.

EQUALITY IS UNFAIR.

WHAT?

THAT'S RIGHT.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF A MAN
WORKING HARD ALL HIS LIFE,

TRYING TO GET SOMEPLACE,

IF ALL HE'S GOING TO
DO IS WIND UP EQUAL?

ALL IN THE FAMILY WAS
RECORDED ON TAPE

BEFORE A LIVE AUDIENCE.

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