All language subtitles for The Kennedys s01e02 Valentine.eng

[Pop music]

[Emma voiceover] It was the
most romantic day of the year

and almost everyone
on jesup square

was opening their
Valentine cards.

Dad wasn't though.

He never got one.

Something to do with
modern 1970's women

keeping modern
1970's men on their toes.

Modern men still have to send
modern women a card though.

Dad said it was
because modern women

liked to wear modern
men's guts for garters.

Lives would not be
worth living if they forgot.

♪ And it's there when
I'm looking around ♪

♪ love is in the air ♪

♪ in the whisper of the trees ♪

♪ love is in the air ♪

I'd sent one to Luke
Skywalker on Tatooine,

but dad said I probably
shouldn't expect one in return.

All the same it felt
like it was going to be

a very special day.

Hey.

- This came for you.
- For me?

A Valentine card, my first
ever, dad, withering chips.

It's got a rabbit
kissing another rabbit.

It's like he knows me.

Right.

But it's not signed,
who's it from?

Well, you're not supposed
to know, are you?

Creates an air of mystery.

I got one too.

72 kisses from your father.

How did you know
it was from him?

"From me, Tony Kennedy,
your husband and nobody else."

He's glued in a picture in
case I'm not sure who that is.

It's not very mysterious.

Yes, but I have other
areas of mystery, Emma.

[Both] No you haven't.

I just have to find
out who mine's from.

Yes, you do that
and then I'll kill him.

That's how being a dad works.

- Anyway, tea?
- Yes please.

Brenda, have you
still not opened this lot?

There's a tariff on not
opening proper post.

I know.

Look, come on, it
might be important.

Never is.

Oh,

oh it is, it's my
driving test notification.

Driving test notification?

Yes, it's on Thursday.

Thursday, this Thursday?

Yes.

Brenda, that's in two
days, you can't drive.

I know, that's why I've applied.

No, Brenda, that's
not how it works.

First you learn to drive,
then you take your test.

Well, I can learn to
drive today, can't I?

I've got nothing on.

Brenda, it takes
months to learn, months.

I know roads Tony, I know them,

they can't be that difficult.

Men can drive,
well, now it's our turn.

- Emma.
- Mom.

No no no no, this is a
disastrous idea, Brenda.

There's no way
i'm letting you drive.

Oh, what's that you've
dropped, a gauntlet?

Challenge is on, Tony.

I am a woman and I shall drive.

Those are the keys to the house.

Good that, isn't it?

Handy.

Yes, it is handy, Brenda.

It's handy to be able to see
vehicles behind you, yes it is.

I can't see any vehicles
behind me, I can just see Emma.

Why you wearing that hat?

It's my detective hat,

I'm finding out who sent
me this Valentine card.

Of course it is,
come on, get in.

Brenda, last chance saloon here.

There is no need,
ever, for you to drive.

I think you'll find
there's every need, Tony.

But why?

So I can tootle about
town in a clown car.

Why do you think?

So what do I do
first, wiggle this?

No.

You don't wiggle that.

Start the engine.

- [Engine starts]
- Woo!

All right, it's on.

Ok, now, mirror,
signal, manoeuvre.

Thank you.

Mirror, signal,

manoeuvre.

Thank you.

[Shrieks]

[Giggles]

Brenda, when the
car is going backwards

when it's supposed
to be going forward,

that is not funny.

It's not funny!

Let's try again.

Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

[Gears cranking]

It's first.

It's first!

Up up or up down?

Up, up, up, up.

Look out, you're
going to hit her!

- Brake!
- [Jenny screams]

You're doing really well, ma.

- Thank you.
- For the love of...

This is the reason you
shouldn't be driving, Brenda.

I didn't hit her.

You all right, Jenny?

I'm really sorry.

It's fine.

I had really terrible
hiccups, and they've gone,

so thank you.

Super.

I'm taking my driving
test in two days.

Learning to drive.

How's that going?

It would help if I'd been
given better equipment.

Tony's been moaning on
about the car for weeks.

Making something nice?

Oh, bits and Bobs.

Balaclava, pinafore,
a new colander.

Gone knitting mad since I
found out I was pregnant.

Can knit you some health bits.

Brilliant.

Actually, I'm quite glad you
nearly ran me over. [Laughs]

I've got something to tell you.

[Both scream]

Tim's proposed.

No.

Oh.

Let's just say he gave me a
very obvious Valentine card

this morning, so I thought
I'll get ahead of the game.

Gonna knit myself this.

A knitted wedding dress, Jenny?

Have you thought that through?

No.

If it rained, you'd smell
like a wet labrador.

Why don't you try
something less chunky?

Cheesecloth.

I got a Valentine card.

She did.

How exciting, do
you know who sent it?

No.

But I'm gonna find out who did,

and then dad's gonna kill him.

I am.

If you look for clues,
stamp Mark, handwriting,

if the card's got a
distinctive smell about it.

[Sniffing] Smells
of sherbet lemons.

There you go,
that's your first clue.

Do you know anyone
who runs a sweet shop?

Oh, Mr. Bennett
with the weepy eye.

Blimey, hope it's not from him.

Well, you need to find
out who sent it to you,

because that is the person
who loves you the most.

That's my job, actually.

Then you can be like me
and get engaged. [Shrieks]

Now, Emma, I don't
want you to go thinking

that all women want
is to get engaged.

They don't.

Jenny's pregnant, so she's
off her head on hormones.

I am.

I'm whooshing with
them, whooshing.

Look, there's an orphan holding
a puppy with a broken paw.

Floods of tears.

Look, there's a
woman with a big nose

who's taking the last
finger bun in the bakery.

Stabby death face! [Chuckles]

Don't you go worrying about
the getting engaged thing.

It only leads to getting
married, and you don't want that.

You're married.

I got married once, Emma, once.

[Car hood slams]

You've killed the car, Brenda.

You have actually
killed the car.

This is one of the
endless reasons

why you shouldn't be driving.

I think you'll find I've done
you an enormous favour.

You can go and
get a new one now,

and then I get to learn in it.

I am brilliant, thank you.

Thanks for the tips.

Everything all right, Emma?

I've got some cheesecloth
in the airing cupboard.

I could make Tim
a matching suit.

Oh, how exciting! [Hiccups]

Bad luck, Jenny.

I think it's all the
excitement. [Hiccups]

I can try and almost hit you
again, if you like. [Giggles]

[Emma voiceover] So
mum was going to drive

and I was going to get engaged.

It was all so modern.

What are you all up to?

An actual Valentine,
sent to actual me.

Who's it from?

Someone who
likes sherbet lemons.

Would you like to smell it?

Yes please.

Would you like
to smell it, miss?

No thank you.

Look.

Sherbet lemons.

And so the net tightens.

I have suspects.

Did you get a card, miss?

I did, actually.

Imagine that.

I wonder who on earth
could have sent it to me.

Someone old.

Really, really old.

Yeah.

Everything gets
better with age, girls.

Remember that.

Cheese, wine.

Ham doesn't.

No, ham doesn't, no.

Never mind.

Anyway, card away, pencils out.

Ham indeed.

Right, children,
countries of the world.

[Emma voiceover]
There were a few things

dad really liked getting
when mum wasn't looking.

Pork pies, atlases,
and now this.

New wheels, nicely done.

Nicely done.

Thank you.

Absolute beauty.

A 12 seat Land Rover, Tony.

But I want to learn to
drive, not invade Poland.

That's an
investment right there.

You'll get years out of that.

Think of the possibilities.

Off road shopping,
day trips to picket lines,

and it'll be handy if we
ever need to send Emma

to work on a farm.

What?

It's enormous.

It's as big as a ship.

Why don't we christen it
like they do ocean liners?

Yeah, I got a bottle of
baby cham in the fridge.

Hang on. [Chuckles]

What are you doing?

Got some cheesecloth.

I'll make you a suit
for our special day.

I'm not going anywhere.

No, it's for our...

Did you find out who
sent the card yet?

No, not yet.

I've got three suspects though.

You have to set a love test,
see who likes you the most.

Then you can get
engaged. [Giggling]

So, Emma got a Valentine card.

It's not from me.

[Sighs] No, I
can't drive in that.

It's going to have to go back.

No, it's all right, Brenda.

Four wheel drive,
stick in the low ratio

and it'll drive itself.

30 years from now,
it'll all be massive cars

driving themselves,
reading their own maps.

Don't be ridiculous, Tim.

Right.

You do the honours.

Make sure it smashes,
because if it doesn't,

it's bad luck forever.

No, you throw it, Tony,

I don't have the
requisite oomph.

What are we gonna call it?

Ian.

Car-lotte o'car-a.

Scarlet O'Hara, car...

Doesn't matter.

Barbara grumbles.

Old headmistress, had
a large undercarriage.

Bessie.

That's a name that says
hello, I am in charge.

Bessie it is.

We hereby christen this
magnificent vehicle bessie.

[Cheering]

[Bottle slams]

Tony!

Oh god.

Cuts up there always
look worse than they are.

Ooh, bottle didn't break either.

You'll be all right, Jenny.

It's all I've got, but it'll do.

I'm really, really sorry, em.

It was an accident.

It's ok, but I am supposed
to be getting engaged.

Engaged, who to?

Whoever sent me
that Valentine card.

Hang on, no.

We don't know him or his family.

Calm down, Tony.

I've told you before, Emma.

A modern girl doesn't
need to be thinking

about getting engaged.

I only married your father
because I was madly in love

with him and he bamboozled
me with a bag of coal

and a sack of onions.

That is true.

So Tim might pop the
question tonight then, eh?

I've never wanted anything more.

Apart from that time I
wanted that pressure cooker.

You're absolutely sure, Jenny.

I mean, you're not worried
that he still might be a bit,

you know, feral?

Well, he's given her
a suggestive card.

He has.

Ding dong, the bells
are gonna chime.

Can't stop, I've got
a mystery to solve.

Hat please.

Right.

There you go.

You look great.

Feel super.

Oh, bless her.

I remember my
first Valentine card.

Who was it from?

Me.

Sent it to myself.

[Emma voiceover] Mum
always said anything worthwhile

was never easy.

What's going on?

[Emma voiceover] It
was the day of her test,

and she was having
to practise in the car

dad had built for her
on the dining room table.

I am learning to drive,

but your father won't
let me do it in his car.

It's almost as if he
thinks something terrible

is going to happen.

Yes, Brenda, something
terrible will happen.

You're not ready.

I am ready.

No, you're not, Brenda.

What about the theory bit?

Road signs, you know those?

I know signs, I know them.

Stop, look, listen, thank you.

Yeah, that's your green
cross code, well done,

you need to learn
your highway code.

Can't click every trip.

No, Brenda.

Road signs, markings.

What's a red circle with
a white stripe across it?

Fabulous.

- It's no entry.
- No entry, no entry.

Tricks, tricks, Tony, tricks.

I am going to take this
test and I am going to pass.

Up the women.

Up the women?

Aye aye, what's all this?

Dad won't let mum
drive his new car.

Too right.

You see, Emma, this is
exactly the sort of thing

I keep warning you about.

Men sticking together to try...

You stick together with Jenny.

Stop confusing
the issue with facts.

Whose side are you on anyway?

Tim, you're looking very cagey.

What are you up to?

Going out looking
for something special?

No, I'm trying to avoid Jenny.

She keeps trying to make me
put on cheesecloth trousers,

Brenda, it's not
what nature intended.

It's weird.

It's not weird, Tim.

Being pregnant does
funny things to your brain,

hormones whooshing everywhere.

I'll be honest, Brenda,

I'm not really a hormones man.

More sexy horseplay, beard.

- Football.
- Football.

- Pie.
- Love pie.

Perhaps it's a love test to
see if you like her the most.

You know, so you
can get engage...

Ah, ooh.

Tim,

did you ask Jenny
something last night?

Yes, but it's no sex
til the baby comes.

No, no, no, not that.

Perhaps she wants
something else.

Teasmade?

Perhaps something
a bit more committed

than a teasmade.

Hostess trolley.

No, silly, you need
to get engage...

No!

Thank you, blurty mcgurty.

Anyway, they're never
gonna let you take a test

in a table with a
plunger for a gear stick.

I know, but he won't
let me do it in his car.

Of course he won't.

Never teach your own
wife, that's a golden rule.

So you think a man who
isn't married to a woman

can teach that woman to drive?

Of course.

Where's your car?

Hang on.

Right, let's give this a go.

Tim, I put some
felt in the crotch

so it's not so see-through.

Do you want to
come and try them on?

I can't, I've got to teach
Brenda how to drive.

I've got no time for
tissue-thin trousers.

Away, away.

So you're not going
to try this stuff on?

No.

Come on, ask her.

Jenny, do you want me
to ask you something?

Yes.

Do you want a hostess trolley?

No.

Right you are then.

Come on, let's go.

[Engine putters]

Actually, I would quite
like a hostess trolley.

That's it, Brenda,
nice and slow.

Keep her in first.

Hello, ladies.

Are we just going
to curb call, Tim,

or are you actually going
to teach me anything?

It's fine, you're
doing really well.

Nice boots.

I'm just out with my mother.

Brenda, nice and
easy, no need to rush.

There is a need to rush.

There's a need to
rush to get me to school

and out of this car.

Oh no, Simon wood's outside.

Drive past, mum, drop
me off round the corner.

Can't I just drop you here?

I haven't learned
right turns yet.

[Emma] No, you cannot.

Honestly, Emma, it's almost
as if you're embarrassed

by me or something.

I am embarrassed of you.

Bit rude.

I might have passed my
test by the time I pick you up.

Imagine that.

Please don't pick me up, ever.

Love you!

Super.

So let's have a stop take.

First gear.

It's there.

Indicators.

They're on.

My hand on your thigh.

My fist in your crotch.

That's dangerous.

[Emma voiceover] One
thing about going to school

in the 1970s was you
were constantly shown films

about things you
had to be terrified of.

[Film narrator] Most
people are good and kind.

But there are some
who want to hurt children.

So always say no to strangers.

A stranger offering you
a lift isn't always bad.

But he could be.

So it's best to think about
a strange car as danger.

It's definitely him.

He's the only one who gave
you a gobstopper by the pegs.

It was a love test
to end all love tests.

How do you get engaged?

I think how it works
is you get pregnant.

Emma is pregnant,
and so is Simon wood.

Emma's pregnant,
and so is Simon wood.

Emma's pregnant, and so are you.

[Triumphant music]

Is it true?

Yes, it is.

Now you have to get engaged.

I haven't finished my dib dab.

I'll have that.

Are you, Simon,
pregnant with Emma?

I don't know or understand.

We are.

That's that.

You're engaged!

[Children cheering]

[Emma voiceover] I had
succeeded in my quest.

But could mum do the same?

So in your own time, stop
and then continue on again.

You want me to stop,
then start, on a hill?

Yes, please.

Are you mad?

Why would I do that?

It's the hill start.

I'm not stopping on a hill.

Right.

Well then, when I
hit the dashboard,

I want you to stop.

What for?

To simulate an emergency stop.

Hitting the dashboard
is an emergency, really?

No, it's not an
actual emergency.

It's a simulation.

[Clipboard bangs on dashboard]

I hit the dashboard.

Yes, I know, but I
can't stop here, can I?

I'm in the middle of the road.

Hitting the dashboard is
an emergency. [Laughs]

Ridiculous.

Right.

Ah, wait, was that
a trick question?

Point for knowing
it's a trick question.

Could stop please, Mrs. Kennedy?

Just stop anywhere.

Look out, look out!

No, no, no!

[Instructor gasping]

Points for that?

Mrs. Kennedy, I can't
really see any further point

in continuing.

You have failed your test.

I failed my test?

You failed on everything.

Every single thing.

That's never
happened to me before.

So for that, thank you.

I knew where the gear stick was.

Mirror, signal,
manoeuvre, thank you.

Indicators, look.

[Wipers running]

Have some more lessons
or never drive again.

Now, let's swap places.

Oh no you don't.

I'm driving back.

I'll show you I can drive.

Failed indeed.

Mrs. Kennedy!

[Rock music]

[Tim screaming]

You.

Did anyone die?

No.

I nearly blinking did.

Pardon me.

That's yours.

Never drive again, ever.

He failed me, can
you even believe that?

Yes, I can.

I am a woman, and I shall drive.

Get in, Tim, we're
going to pick Emma up.

Driving, driving!

Driving, driving!

Wait, this is the hormones
whooshing around, isn't it?

You're not pregnant
as well, are you?

Mirror, signal,
manoeuvre, thank you.

[Engine roars]

We're engaged now, Simon,

so we should get on with the
arguing as soon as possible.

There's a tiny chance that
my dad is going to kill you.

What?

Ok, a pretty big chance.

[Emma voiceover] Mum
liked to say it wasn't that she

had got something wrong,

it was just that the
rest of the world

hadn't caught up with her yet.

[Gears creaking]

Brenda, seriously, you're
burning the clutch to a husk.

Let me drive it back, for
the love of all things decent.

No, you can't.

Never stop a woman
proving a point, Tim.

[Emma voiceover] In short,
she was never wrong, ever.

Come on, in you get.

[Film narrator] Always
say no to strangers.

Hello, young lady.

Do you know that man?

I've never seen
him before in my life.

Come on, get in.

[Film narrator] Now
remember, think of a strange car

as danger.

Miss Parsons, miss Parsons!

Emma's got in a
car with a stranger!

What?

[Door knocking]

Forgot your keys, did you?

How did it go?

Tony Kennedy?

Yes?

I'm afraid we've had a
report of your daughter

being taken from
outside the school gates.

What?

A car pulled up and
Emma was dragged into it.

I'm so sorry, Mr. Kennedy.

What?

Brenda.

Oh no, I've got to tell Brenda.

[Car crashing]

Brenda!

Sorry.

Holy moly, you
pranged my ruddy car.

That's him, that's the
man who took Emma.

Get him.

You, hold it right there.

What the heck?

It's a bloody prang,
man, a prang.

We got the air brakes on,

this is a bit heavy
handed, isn't it, mate?

Where is she?

Tell me what
you've done with her.

She's there.

She's the one driving.

She's the one that
pranged it, not me.

I do not require handcuffs,
put those away, thank you.

I have absolutely no
idea you were arrested

if you failed your driving test.

Nobody told me that.

No, that's my wife.

What?

Are you that man's wife?

Yes, I am.

A woman can drive without
her husband, you know.

We're not in the dark ages.

- What's going on here?
- Emma!

Come here.

Dad, this is so embarrassing!

How's my daughter?

It's my fiance.

What do you mean, your fiance?

We got pregnant, then engaged.

Then she said you
were going to kill me.

I am going to kill
you, so prepare to die.

Hold on a minute, you
can't threaten to kill this boy.

I'm not really
gonna kill him, am I?

I am.

So this is your daughter we
thought had been abducted.

Abducted?

Emma has not been abducted.

Emma is with me.

What's happening?

No no, never run with scissors!

Why are they arresting you?

Who's this, your wife?

She's not my wife.

She will be, she's pregnant.

Trust me, don't cross her,
she's like a cornered mongoose.

- Will be?
- Yes, definitely.

Go on then, ask
her, make it official.

I don't think now is really...

Yes, now, just do it!

Go on, ask her.

Tim, just ask her to marry you.

For Pete's sake, all right.

Will you marry me?

Yes!

Congratulations.

Lovely, right, congratulations.

So this woman is your mother.

Yeah, she is.

And you weren't being abducted.

No.

Simon, you said she'd
been taken by strangers.

It's not my fault.

She told me she didn't
know who you were.

Why would you say that?

To avoid rubbishing
embarrassment.

And here we are again.

It's just a scratch.

Spit on it, it'll disappear.

[Emma voiceover] Romance
was nothing but trouble.

And turns out, it was
pretty sneaky too.

That's it, Brenda, never again.

Your driving days are over.

I blame you, Tony.

You made me open the
important looking post.

That was the start of it.

Blooming valentines.

If Simon hadn't
sent me that card,

I wouldn't be in this mess.

Simon didn't send you that card.

How do you know?

Because I did.

Now then, supper.

What are we having, Tony?

[Growls] Dad!

I'll kill her.

["Love grows" by
Edison lighthouse]

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