All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s12e04 Driving Big Dummy.eng

♪ ♪

BOB: Okay, great.
Uh, I'll see you soon.

Bye. Good news, everybody,
the guy still has the sink

and it's a really good price.

Uh, I'm gonna go check it out,

and unless something is terribly

wrong with it,
we'll have a new, slightly used

kitchen sink for
the restaurant. All right!

This is all happening so fast.

Yeah, if you told me
I was gonna wake up today

and we were getting new sink, I
would have been all, "What?"

I know. It's very exciting.

It's deeper than
the one we have now,

and it's got rounded corners,

so it's easier to clean.
Like me.

It's basically
the sink I've wanted

my whole life.
Dream big, Dad.

The only problem is I don't
think it will fit in the back

of our car unless
I rip out the back seat,

which wouldn't be great, because
that's, uh, where the kids go.

We can ride on the roof,
Teen Wolf style. (entry bells jingle)

Hey, everyone.
Hey, Teddy.

Hello.
Hi. Hey, you.

I mean, maybe I can just

cram it in there?
What needs cramming?

Bob's getting us a new sink
for the kitchen today.

He's gonna buy it
from a guy in, uh

Where is he, Bob?
Bridgehurst.

It's a
It's a couple hours away.

Right. But he's not sure
it'll fit in our car.

(scoffs) Or if our car can
drive for two hours.

Oh! Oh, my God. Bob.

What.
This is your lucky day!

I'm driving through
Bridgehurst to do a job

for Mr. Fischoeder today.

He sold that giant ventriloquist
dummy head from the old funhouse

to a guy who wants to use it
for his mini golf course.

Oh, I remember that big dummy.
Didn't he have a name?

Big Dummy.
It's a beautiful name.

Anyway, I just loaded it
onto a flatbed trailer

at Fischoeder's
and I'm gonna drive it out

to the golf course guy.

He's just one town over
from Bridgehurst.

So you can come with me
and throw your sink

in the back of my truck.

We can catch up. Talk.

I haven't seen you
since yesterday.

Oh, Teddy,
that's so nice of you,

but, um, I'm... I'm good.

Thanks.
What are you talking about, Bob?

Teddy's got a truck, you've got
a giant sink. This is perfect.

I mean, Linda, I don't
want to impose on Teddy.

Impose. Listen to this guy.

I know. Mr. Fancy Words.
Nerd.

Uh, Lin, can I talk to you
in the kitchen, please?

Uh, I don't want to spend
two hours in a car with Teddy.

I mean, I don't want to spend
two hours in a car with anyone.

And with Teddy,
it's just so much talking.

Come on, Bobby.
Take the ride.

We both know Teddy could
use the company.

He's a lonely guy.
(sighs) Okay, fine.

But I'm bringing a book.

You know we don't have books.

So you're sure Big Dummy
never comes to life?

I mean, pretty sure.

Even at night,
when we're all asleep?

Uh, I don't think so.

What if he gets hungry?

I assume he eats children?

YYou guys are freaking me out.

Not all giant ventriloquist
heads eat children, okay?

This one does not.
Guess what, Teddy?

You and Bob are
hitting the road together.

We are?
Uh, yup.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh, this is gonna be great, Bob.

We're going for a joyride.

Uh, I don't think
that's the right term.

(tune of Foghat's "Slow Ride"):
♪ Joyride, take it easy. ♪

Boy ride.

Ooh, boy ride
Oh, my God.

But, uh, Teddy,
we should try and get back

as quickly as possible

so I can get to work
in the restaurant.

Oh, relax, Bob.
We'll be fine.

Take all day.
Yup. Great.

Yeah, see the sights.

Try taking the road
less traveled.

Get your groove back.

Thanks, everyone.

Meet me out front
in 15 minutes, Bob,

ready for fun. Ow!
Oh, your face!

Ha. I'm just so excited. Ow!

Is something wrong with this
door? Heh. No, no, it's me.

(horn honks twice)

TINA:
That's not gonna haunt my dreams.

I hope it does haunt mine.

Mom, take my picture with it.
LINDA: No.

I don't want that picture
in our family.

Is the mini golf course
using it to scare people into

not golfing?

Mini golf already scares me.

I don't like things
that are "mini."

Ugh. You ready, Bob?

Yup. Um, all set.
Can you drive a stick?

Don't worry, I can.

Well, it's an automatic,
but whatever.

Bye, guys.
Have a nice boy ride.

KIDS (chanting):
Boy ride! Boy ride! Boy ride!

See you all very,
very soon, I hope.

Bye, everyone. Don't worry.

I'll bring him back
in one piece. Eh.

(loud grinding)

Oh, you know what it was?
The car was already started.

That's the sound you're hearin'.

LOUISE: Well, with Dad gone,
this should be a breezy day.

GENE: I could use it.
I've had a week. TINA: I heard that.

So long, Frowny, hello, Clowny.
Wait, I'm Clowny?

You know, you're just a little
more looseygoosey at work.

And when you blow your nose it
makes a honking sound. Oh. Huh.

Would you prefer we call
you and Dad "Cranky and Skanky?"

No, no, Clowny's better.

BOB: So many empty
Tupperwares in here.

I'm sitting on one.
Yeah, I meant to stack those.

Hey, if you want, you can find
the lids that match the bottoms.

That's fun. Make it like a game.

II don't think
that's a fun game.

Hey, Bob, if you need to fart

like you just did,
just tell me.

I'll pull over
and you can get out. I didn't fart.

There's no reason
we both have to suffer, right?

Teddy, I did not fart.

I'll find a safe spot
to pull over. Teddy...

You get out.
You rip a fart.

You get back in the car.
I didn't fart!

That was either you,
or the truck smells like that.

I didn't fart.
Eh, forget about it.

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

So, what do you want
to talk about? Sports?

Deep stuff? Love?

Mmmm.
Heartbreak?

No.
New beginnings?

Mmmm.
Favorite tools?

Mmm.
(wind whistling) Funny Internet videos?

Um...
Hey, Bob, do me a favor

and hold that window shut.

Sometimes it starts whistling

when I get up around 50.

Do I have to hold this
the whole trip?

No. Just while
we're going faster than 50.

Anyway, ooh.

Do you wear socks
when you sleep?

Um, no.

I'm thinking about trying
one on and one off.

Hear me out.
It all started when I was a kid.

I lost one of my socks.

But that was
just the beginning.

BOB: Oh, my God.
(flatulence)

TEDDY: Whoops. That one was me.
(Bob whimpers)

So, long story short,
my butt is apparently lopsided,

and that's why
I had to return the pants.

Uhhuh.
This is great, huh, Bob?

Two friends on the open road,

seeing the world together
with all of its mysteries.

Right?
I mean, we're just running an errand.

He's a lonely guy.

Boy ride! Boy ride! Boy ride!

I mean, yeah, this is, uh,

this is definitely great, Teddy.

Wait, why are you exiting?

TEDDY: I figure
we can grab lunch. Lunch?

Isn't it a little early?
Maybe a little,

but this gas station up here
has the best hot dogs.

I drive this way all the time.

I make a lot of hot dog stops,
and these are topnotch.

Eh, maybe it's
'cause they got the rollers

so they turn
at just the right speed.

Okay.
Cooking stuff.

Way above our heads,
right, pal? Mm.

Wait. Let me see who's working
right now, Kendall or Phil.

You know
the people who work here?

Of course. Shh, shh.

Trust me,
you do not want to get Kendall.

Let's just say if you drop
one megasip soda on the floor

and you do your best
to clean it up,

you'll still hear about it
for months.

Yes! It's Phil.

Highfive!
Mm.

♪ ♪

Here. People ordered some stuff.

Can you run these out to
the couple in the first booth?

Eh, I suppose I can swing it.

Wait. How do they want
this burger cooked?

I didn't ask. That's personal.

Go ask, please.

Mom, do we have bacon?
Yes, we do.

Good.
One cheeseburger, no tomato.

And a bacon snack for me.
No bacon for you right now.

(clattering)
Poop.

TINA: Damn it.
What was that noise?

BusTub Jenga. I lost.

No more BusTub Jenga, kids.

We're getting a little busy
in here.

BusTub Twister?
No. (entry bells jingles)

LINDA:
Oh, boy.

Lot of people.

PHIL:
Yeah, I just, uh,

put the hotdogs on the rollers,

press the on switch, and voilà!

There's got to be more to it.
He's being modest.

So, uh, what do we owe you
for the hot dogs?

New nugget, Phil?
Yep. Good eye.

Almost one gram.

Phil here pans for gold.

Every chance I get.

Is there a lot of gold
around here?

You'd be surprised.
In which way?

How little.
Then I'm not surprised, I guess, because...

Yeah, but I don't do it
for the gold.

I do it for the quality time
with my lady: Mother Nature.

I don't have a girlfriend.

Which is nuts. Look at you.
Huh. Anyway, uh,

we should definitely get going.

Uh, so please take this money
for the hot dogs.

Don't forget,
you're worthy of love.

TEDDY:
Hey, can you even eat hot dogs?

Why wouldn't I be able
to eat a hot dog?

You're a burger guy.

Hot dogs and burgers
are enemies, right?

No. II think they're friends.

TEDDY: Frenemies?
Oh, my God, are we stopping again?

This place has the
cleanest bathrooms for miles.

I liked that hot dog,

but it did not like me.

Oh. Terrific.
You sure you don't need to go?

No.
No, you're not sure, or no, you don't have to go?

I don't have to go!
Okay, relax.

Can I borrow a couple of bucks?

This place makes you buy
something to use the restrooms,

and I only have twenties.

So use a twenty.
They don't like breaking big bills, Bob.

I don't want to be Mr. Big Shot
"Can you break a twenty?"

Mm.

LINDA:
So, you ladies are

in some sort of group,
it looks like.

Yeah! We're the Bon Vivaunts.

We're all aunts
who get together once a month

and do something fun.

'Cause we don't have kids
and can do stuff.

And this month your fun thing
is coming here?

Uh, no. We're going gocarting
after this.

Oh. Well, look over the menu and
one of my professional children

will be right over
to take your orders.

M'kay?
Okay.

Just so you know,
a few more of us may trickle in.

Oh, great.

The more Bon Vivaunts,
the merrier.

Kids, follow me.

Family meeting.
GENE: Should we try to get Dad on a Zoom?

Okay, now we're slammed
out there,

so we're gonna get
these people fed.

Kids, are you listening?
No. Is that bad?

Hey, hey, pay attention.

We're gonna refill waters,
collect money,

give correct change,
and say, "Thank you for coming."

Got it. "Thank you for coming."
Um, I'll do it better.

And we're gonna push
the burger of the day,

and we're gonna ask,
"Do you want fries with that?"

Because that's what I would do
if I was out there.

But I'm back here today,
so you got to be me, all right?

Costume change!
We'll do our best.

Which, as you know,
is not great. All right, all right.

Whoever sells
the most burgers of the day

and the most fries gets to be...

Employee of the Day!

Which has a cash prize?
No.

Any prize?
The prize is being the Employee of the Day.

Even BusTub Jenga has a prize.

Yeah, not having to clean up
BusTub Jenga.

Okay, fine!
Whoever sells the most gets...

a 20second pull
from the soft serve machine, ah?

Holy...
Whoa. Really?

How about that?
A 20second pull?

That's an eternity.
That could fill my whole body.

Wait, can we do it, like,
straight from the nozzle

into our mouths?

No! Too many people
have died that way. I assume.

That's why it's so tantalizing
it's forbidden.

II don't need to be
under the nozzle.

We're talking about, like,
a crapload of ice cream.

So I'm in.
Fine. Me, too.

Okay, good. Now, get out there.

Leave it all on the field.
No mercy.

Pep talk! Go!

What is taking him so long?

Oh, Tupperware!

Oh, this again?
Come on!

(Bonnie and Teddy laughing)

Hey, Teddy, uh, sorry,
but we should really get going.

Okay. Just let me
go to the bathroom first.

Wait, you haven't gone
to the bathroom yet?

Eh. I don't know how to say this
in mixed company, Bob,

but it changed its mind
a few times.

It sounds like a fickle pickle.
Bob, Bonnie. Bonnie, Bob.

Hello.
Hi. Bonnie owns the place.

That's her new tow truck.
Pretty sweet, huh?

See the boom on that thing?
Give me a break with that winch.

Yeah, that's a really...
that's a really great boom.

I'm happy with the boom.

Speaking of booms, Teddy,
do you want to... (whistles)

Right.
Okay, let's give this a shot.

So, I might just go wait
in the...

TEDDY:
Bob's a small business owner, too!

Youyou guys can talk
about that.

Oh, really?
No, Teddy, don't do that.

Don'tdon't call
through the bathroom door.

It's not necessary.

Oh, Bob, pick out a gum for me.

II didn't buy anything yet.

Oh, don't worry about that,
Teddy. This one's on me.

Nope, rules are rules.

Bob, read me the gums they have.

I don't like cinnamon
or mint or berry

or anything that's too chewy.

I'm gonna go wait in the truck.
Nice to meet you. Bye.

Bobby! The gum!

(yawns)

So, what's the weirdest thing
you ever towed?

Louise, no. Bring it back.
That's Gene's cheeseburger

well done.
Then where's my nocheese medium?

There it is.

Tina, bring it back,
bring it back.

Uh, sorry.
Oh, uh...

Wait, I had a cheeseburger
well done?

Gene!
All these burgers look the same.

Should we make them
different shapes?

Is this a good time
to get an update

on who's winning the contest
and how it's me?

Oh, hold on, let me check.
No! You're all losing!

What?!
But I just sold a burger of the day.

And fries, I think.

And then you gave it
to the wrong person.

These Bon Vivaunts are
so highmaintenance.

They insist on getting
the food that they ordered.

More like Bon Divaaunts.

Okay, you know what?
Here's what's gonna happen.

I'm coming out there.
I'm gonna run food,

I'm gonna take orders,
and I'm still gonna cook.

What about Employee of the Day?
And ice cream of the mouth?

Ha! I bet I can outsell
all three of you combined.

So I'm entering the contest.

And when I win,
you have to watch me

eat the ice cream
in front of you. Huh?

(all gasp)
From the nozzle!

(all gasp)

You said we weren't allowed!

You're still not allowed,
'cause you're gonna lose.

But if we win, all three of us
get ice cream off the nozzle.

Yeah, you can have
that sad dream.

That'll never happen.

You've made a powerful enemy,
Linda Belcher!

Okay, uh, looks like
we take the next left,

and the diner
where I'm gonna get the sink

should be right there.
That's it.

You don't have to hold
that window shut right now.

We're not going fast.

That's good.
It definitely hurts

to hold it shut
this whole time.

Okay, thanks.
Sorry again

for being so much later
than we talked about.

He, uh, he stopped many times.

Ah, that's fine. Enjoy the sink.

I will.
Okay, then.

See, Teddy?
That's how you run an errand.

No small talk, no fuss,

just a clean,
efficient exchange.

Hey, you. New used sink.

I've been looking forward
to meeting you.

Let's get us home.

Teddy, is that you?
Gerry?

Whywhy is this happening to me?

What are you doing here?

I'm running Big Dummy here
up to the mini golf course,

and I'm also delivering
this giant head.

(chuckles)

Ow.
Ah, just kidding.

Bob, Gerry. Gerry, Bob.

Gerry here has an antique store
not too far from here.

I built him some shelves
a while ago.

I doublechecked
to make sure they were level,

so the wornout old plates
didn't fall off.

They're not worn out,
they're antiques.

It's what we sell.

(chuckles)
Gerry.

Hey, do you still play the lute?

I sure dute.
Switched to electric, though.

Electric lute? Ooh,
I'd love to hear that sometime.

Well, you, sir, are in luck.
Oh, no.

My metal band is practicing
in the garage right now.

Called Iron Prostate.

The singer is a urologist.

No. No. No.
Yes to all of that. (chuckles)

Uh, yeah, that sounds so good.

But we should
probably get going.

Bob, come on, just ten minutes.

15 minutes tops.

It's our first practice ever,
so...

should be fun.
Great, great, great, great, great.

Hello, Tokyo!

We're pretending
we're playing in Tokyo.

♪ Yeah...! ♪

♪ Balalala, danana,
danana, lalala! ♪

Man, that band was great!

You're quiet, Bob.
Are you thinking

about what a fun day
this has been? Mmhmm.

Window, Bob.
I really hate this window.

Next stop, dropping off
Big Dummy, then home.

Great.
And one quick stop before that.

Wait, what? No. No.
I swear it'll be fast.

Please no.
Okay, not fast fast,

but I'm literally just
dropping off these Tupperwares.

Did you get all the lids on?

I meant to, but I had to hold
the window, so...

Okay, I'll hold the window shut.
You do the lids.

(grunting)
No, stop. Teddy. I... I will do it.

Thanks for coming by!

Let me top off your waters, hon.

Here you go.
Burger of the day and fries.

Oh, fork!
Wow. Thank you.

Eh, forkget about it.
(chuckles)

How the hell are we supposed
to keep up with her?

She's a machine!
She's some sort of restaurant wizard.

Or a restaurant witch.

What the hell are you guys
doing just standing here?

We've got a contest to win.
Stop bussing and start selling.

I'm paralyzed by a combination
of fear and awe.

I'm just tired.

Come on, there's three of us
and one of her.

We can do this.

We're talking
about getting ice cream

straight from the nozzle!
Ah, you're right.

I'll do whatever it takes to get
my mouth under that thing!

That's the spirit.
Same here.

So, take Mom out? Too far?

Maybe. We'll see. Let's go!

TEDDY:
I'll be the first to admit it,

it took a little longer
than I thought to get here.

Only twice as long as you said.

II didn't notice it at all.

There it is! I'm just gonna
hand these to him,

and I'll be right back
no chitchat.

Even though he was very excited
about this cornbread.

And it's the only time
I've been paid in cornbread.

And I have a lot of questions
about the cornbread.

But itit's okay,
I'll follow up with him later.

Hello, sink.
Are you having fun back there?

I kind of wish I was riding
with you and not that man.

I can't wait
to rinse things in you.

I hope that didn't sound crude.

Why do you still have those?
He's not home.

All the lights are off, and he's
not answering the doorbell.

It's okay, we can just wait
in the truck for a little bit.

No, Teddy, just leave
the Tupperware at the door,

and let's go.

Leave it at the door?
Are you crazy?

Someone might steal it!

No one's gonna steal Tupperware!

Ah, I'll just bring it back
some other time.

Hey, you can come with me
if you want.

No!

I mean, no, thank you.

Suit yourself. So, uh,

you want to hop out and help me
turn this thing around?

Wait, what?
It's gonna be tight.

Probably a fivepoint turn,
maybe seven.

I could use your eyes out there.

Okay, sure.

Call out directions
and rotate your hands

like you're turning
the steering wheel, okay?

How is that helpful?
It's just simpler that way.

Like you're operating my hands.

Do you want to practice
a little first?

No, Teddy, I think I got it.
You sure?

These things can be
pretty stressful in the moment.

I'm good, Teddy.
Okay.

All right,
cut the wheels this way.

Okay, stop.

Now this way.
Wait, which way?

You need to turn the wheels
to the right,

so I'm turning to the right,
like you said.

So turn the wheel
to the right, Teddy.

Yeah, but I'm looking at you
in the mirror, so it's reversed.

Just turn the wheels right!

This way?
No!

BOB:
Stop! Stop! Stop!

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

No, no, no! Big Dummy!

Great! Now we're stuck.

Oh, my God.
And look at Big Dummy!

What did you do, Bob?

Me? I did it
the way you told me to!

No, you didn't, Bob.

This is why we
should have practiced.

Well, I shouldn't have been
giving you directions at all.

I shouldn't have even come
on this trip.

I should have just driven myself

and tied the sink
to the top of my stupid car.

Yeah, well, why didn't you, Bob?

Because I felt sorry
for you, okay? What?

This isn't a boy ride, Teddy!

I'm your pity passenger!

What's all the ruckus? (screams)

Hey, Mr. Estock.
It's me, Teddy.

Sorry I dropped a giant
ventriloquist head on your lawn.

I mean, Bob kind of did.

I came to return
your Tupperware.

This is Bob,
who I thought was my friend,

but I guess
he's just my pity passenger.

Oh. Hello.

I thought I was
your friend, Teddy,

but friends don't hold
friends hostage in their truck

while they talk to every single
person at every single exit!

And now we're stuck here.

Sorry, Mr. Estock, it seems
like a nice neighborhood.

It was nice, until this.

(groans)
I'll call and get a tow.

His eyes follow me.

(quietly):
It knows what I'm thinking.

LOUISE:
...one for us,

and the last one's Mom's.

Damn it! Mom beat us by
one frickin' burger of the day.

No...!

We almost had it all.

We worked so hard, and for what?

Aw.
GENE: Just a wellrun restaurant

and a bunch
of satisfied bon fafaunts.

Oh, uh, wait a minute, uh,
I didn't sell these fries.

Gene sold these fries.

It was my table,
but they got his attention

and added another order
of fries.

Yeah, they called me Pumpkin
and I liked it.

Everyone call me Pumpkin
from now on.

So technically,
Gene gets that sale.

You guys win.
We do?

Yeah. It's official.

You're the Employees of the Day.

Yay!
We win, you lose!

(chanting):
We win, you lose! We win, you lose!

Okay, okay.
Hey, don't feel too bad, Mom.

You were pretty amazing today.
Yeah?

Yeah, we thought
you were the laidback one,

but it turns out that's just
'cause you make it look easy.

You're actually a beast.
A gorgeous beast.

We should be calling you
Pumpkin.

Aw. Me, Pumpkin.

I said "should."
You cooked, you served,

and you didn't gripe about it
like Dad does.

Do we need him? Cut him out?

Split the money four ways?

Nah, it'd be too hard
to change the sign.

Hey, go get your ice cream.

Oh! Whoa! Aah!
Nozzle! Gimme!

TINA: Let me in there!
GENE: Ah, yumyumyum yumyumyum...

LINDA:
Gene, slow down! You're gonna choke!

GENE:
I don't care! Yumyumyumyum...

Yeah, you should be good to go.

Thanks, Bonnie.
Hey, remember when I asked you

what's the weirdest thing
you ever towed?

It's gotta be this now, right?

Nope.
Still the mobile tattoo parlor.

Lot of complaints
about those tattoos.

Not from this gal, though.
Hey, what is that?

It's Blinky from PacMan.

Haha!
I bet there's a story there.

(Bob whimpers)

Me and my brother used to play
PacMan together.

He got "Clyde."

Ah, that's nice.
Oh, Teddy,

you like asking people
about themselves, don't you?

Well, yeah.

People are interesting.
Teddy fixed the porch for me.

He wasn't here half the day,
and he got me talking

about my late wife's
cornbread recipe.

How was it, by the way?
TEDDY: It was really somethin'.

I ran out of corn.
That explains it.

Well, we better get going.

Why are you staring, Bob?

Hey, Teddy? I...

II want to say something.

I guess maybe
I thought you were lonely,

but you're really not, at all.

You make friends
wherever you go,

and you're so interested
in people, all the time.

I, um,
am never interested in people.

II don't like people...
that much.

Not you guys, though.
Youyou seem great.

But I don't really like that
about myself,

and I guess I really admire that
about you.

Oh, thanks. And hey,
don't beat yourself up, Bob.

You are like that, kind of,

with the six people
you already know.

But yeah, maybe you
could branch out a bit.

I'll try.
Thank you again, Connie.

It's Bonnie.
Right. Sorry.

TEDDY:
Hey, Bob, hear me out.

Before we drop off Big Dummy,

do you want to try
the best beef jerky

you'll ever have in your life?
That actually sounds great.

Yes! It's just up ahead.

Now, the guy who runs
this place real character

he has a hook for a hand.

Don't stare at it, okay?
Okay.

Just kidding.
He loves to talk about it.

He used to juggle chain saws,

but that's not how he lost
his hand.

What? Really?
Yeah, that's how he lost his foot.

(wind whistling)
Window, Bob. On it.

(tune of Foghat's "Slow Ride"):
♪ Hitting the road ♪

♪ With a Big Dummy head ♪

♪ Gonna pick up a sink ♪

♪ Yeah, that's what I said ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ Da, na, baduh, baduh ♪

♪ Take it easy ♪

♪ Da, na, baduh, baduh ♪

♪ Boy ride ♪

♪ Da, na, baduh, baduh ♪

♪ Take it easy... ♪
Come on, get into to it, Bobby!

(Teddy whoops)

♪ Boy ride... ♪

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