All language subtitles for Batman.1989.REMASTERED.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG

I'll get it. Taxi!

Thank you. Hi.

I'd like to go to the Adelphi Hotel,
and that's--

- Excuse me. I'm sorry, this is my cab.
- Get inside.

No, listen-- I was here first!

Oh, God.

Taxi! Taxi!

Taxi!

Let's go across. Come on.

We'll get one down the road.
Come on. Hurry.

For God's sake, Harold,
can we please just get a taxi?

I'm trying to get a-- Taxi!

We're going the wrong way.

- Put that away. We look like tourists.
- Hi, honey.

We'll never get a cab.
Let's cut to Seventh.

- Seventh is that way.
- I know where we are.

Hey, mister, give me a dollar.

- Come on.
- Hey, mister, how about it? One dollar.

You deaf? You don't speak English?

Come on. Come on. Up here.

Hey, lady, do the kid a favor...

...don't scream.

Hey, all right.

American Express Card.
"Don't leave home without it."

Hey, get out of here.

- Let's beat it, man. I don't like it up here.
- What, are you scared of heights?

I don't know.
After what happened to Johnny Gobs--

Hey, look, man. Johnny Gobs got ripped
and took a walk off a roof.

- No big loss.
- No, man.

That ain't what I heard at all.

- I heard that the bat got him.
- The bat?

Oh, man. Give me a break, will you?

Five stories, straight down.
There wasn't no blood in the body.

No shit.
It was all over the pavement.

- I'm getting out of here, man.
- Hey, shut up, man. Listen to me.

There ain't no bat.

Yeah, well, you shouldn't have turned
the gun on that kid, man.

Do you want your cut
of this money or not?

Now, shut up.

Shut up.

Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man!

Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man!

I'm not going to kill you.
I want you to do me a favor.

- Tell all your friends about me.
- What are you?

I'm Batman.

Across this nation...

...the words "Gotham City"
are synonymous with crime.

Our streets are overrun.

Our public officials are helpless.

As mayor, I promise to root out
the source of this corruption...

...Boss Carl Grissom.

Now, our new district attorney...

...Harvey Dent, will carry out
that promise. Harvey.

Thank you.

Thank you, Mayor Borg. Thank you.

People of Gotham City...

...I'm a man of few words.

But those words will count,
and so will my actions.

Police Commissioner Gordon
has informed me...

...that he has targeted
those businesses...

...suspected of fronting
for the syndicate in this city.

Before the week is out...

...we are going to knock down
their doors...

...and shed the light of the law
on that nest of vipers.

Together, we can make this city
safe for decent people.

Decent people shouldn't live here.

They'd be happier someplace else.

Pretty tough talk about Carl.

Don't worry about it.

If this clown could touch Grissom,
I'd have handed him his lungs by now.

If Grissom knew about us...

...he might hand you something.

Don't flatter yourself, angel.

He's a tired old man.

He can't run this city without me.

And besides...

...he doesn't know.

You don't worry about anything,
do you, Jack?

You look fine.

I didn't ask.

- Yeah. Hanging on. Hanging on.
- Coming through.

Get out of the way. Come on.

No, no, no. Let me guess.

Giant, menacing, supernatural form.

- Kind of like a bat.
- Yeah, that's it.

What are they seeing up there?

- They're drinking Drano.
- It's a little weird, lieutenant.

Thanks for the tip, Duane.

Christ. Knox.

Hello, Lt. Eckhardt.
I hear we just had another bat attack.

That's, what, eight sightings now
in under a month?

I hear the commissioner's
opened a file. True?

Sorry, Knox,
these two slipped on a banana peel.

I'm telling you, man, a giant bat.

Sure you did. Keep moving.

Don't be writing this stuff
in the newspaper, Knox.

It will ruin your
already useless reputation.

Lieutenant, every punk
in this town is scared stiff.

You know what they say?
They say he can't be killed.

- They say he drinks blood. They say--
- I say you're full of shit, Knox.

You can quote me on that.

Lieutenant, is there a 6-foot bat
in Gotham City?

And if so, is he on the police payroll?

And if so, what's he pulling down,
after taxes?

Brought you a little snack, Eckhardt.

Why don't you broadcast it?

Shut up and listen.

Harvey Dent has been sniffing around
one of our front companies.

That's my territory.
If there's a problem, I deal with it.

Your problems are our problems.

I answer to Grissom, not to psychos.

Why, Eckhardt,
you ought to think about the future.

You mean when you run the show?
You ain't got no future, Jack.

You're an A-1 nut boy,
and Grissom knows it.

Better be sure.

See...

...you can make a good decision
when you try.

Where you been spending your nights?

I don't care how deeply in debt
this festival is, I want a parade.

I want hot dogs, balloons,
the whole schmeer.

We are going to celebrate this
200th anniversary proudly and publicly.

Well, we may be celebrating
in bankruptcy court.

This festival is $250,000 in the red,
and we haven't seen one balloon.

You fill this square with people,
and the businesses will come back here.

A lot of people might stay away, mayor.
They're scared.

They won't be scared
when you get Grissom in that courthouse.

I promised that, remember?

Well, welcome, Count Dracula.
Had any sightings of Big Foot lately?

- Knox, they buried your story on Batman.
- That's what they do to garbage.

This is Pulitzer Prize stuff, guys.

Hey, Knox.
Knox, I got something for you.

Very funny. You should have a little more
gore under the fangs, though, right?

What a dick.

Hello, legs.

I'm reading your stuff.

Well, I'm reading yours.

Hi, I'm Vicki Vale.

Vicki Vale. Yeah, yeah. Photographer.
Vogue, Cosmo. Yeah.

Listen, if you want me to pose nude,
you're gonna need a long lens.

Actually, I was in the Corto Maltese.

A girl could get hurt doing this stuff.
So, what brings you here?

I'm here to see some of the wildlife
in Gotham City.

Wildlife? Like what?

Like bats.

- Who sent you?
- No, nobody. Really.

I just loved your story, and I....

I like bats.

Yeah?

My pictures, your words.
Pulitzer Prize material. Just think--

Okay, you're a visionary.

You're also the only one
who believes me.

I need something tangible.

Gordon's got a file on this.
I can't even get him on the phone.

Bruce Wayne's benefit.
He'll be there, right?

Yeah. I don't seem to be
on the guest list. No. No.

Yes. Yes.

- Vale, will you marry me?
- Nope.

- Will you buy me lunch?
- Maybe.

I eat light.

Say, this son of a bitch...

...makes a connection
with us and with Axis Chemicals.

What kind of damage are we looking at?

If he ties us in with Axis Chemical,
we're dead and buried.

We should move immediately.

I say we break into the place...

...trash the office...

...and make off with the records
and say it was industrial espionage.

Jack...

...smart thinking. That's the way to go.

In fact, I'd like you to handle
this operation personally.

Me?

Hello, sweetheart. I wonder if you'd mind
waiting in the next room?

That's all, gentlemen. Thank you.
Thank you, gentlemen. That's all.

Carl...

...can we get somebody else to do this?

And the fumes in that place....

Jack...

...it's an important job.
I need someone I can trust.

You are my number one guy.

Now...

...don't forget...

...your lucky deck.

My friend...

...your luck is about to change.

Police department.

Get me Lieutenant Eckhardt.

Can I help you, sir?

Oh, thanks. Thank you very much.
It's very nice of you.

Here you go.

- Good evening, ma'am.
- A little crowded.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Could you tell me which of these guys
is Bruce Wayne?

Well, I'm not sure.

Thanks anyway.

Yeah.

- Thank you.
- Huh? Oh. Certainly, yeah.

Your roll, commissioner.

My turn, my turn.
Here we go. Here we go.

- Eight.
- Eight. I can make that eight.

- I can make that eight.
- Place your bets, please.

Commissioner.
Mrs. Gordon, you look lovely.

How about that rumor the commissioner's
got a file on the Batman. True?

Not for the ninth time. There is no bat.

If there were, we'd find him.
We'd arrest him.

- Do you confirm him? Be straight.
- Big eight.

- How you making out?
- No good at all.

Mr. Dent, I love that tie.

Gordo and I were discussing
the pros and cons of winged vigilantes.

What's your stand?

Mr. Knox, we have enough problems
in this city...

...without worrying about ghosts
and goblins.

Pardon me, but that's not--
That's not a denial.

Excuse me, dear. I'll be back.

Isn't anybody gonna go on record?

- Your Honor, great suit.
- No comment.

- Robert, what's up?
- Anonymous tip.

Napier's cleaning out Axis Chemicals.

Why wasn't I told about this?
Who's in charge?

Eckhardt, sir.

Oh, my God. Come on, let's go.
Let's go.

Commissioner Gordon?

Vale, I think he went in this room.

Commissioner Gordon?

Wait, wait, wait.
Living room, dining room, arsenal.

Look at this stuff.

Who is this guy?

He gives to all these humanitarian causes,
and then collects all this stuff.

He probably does it to get chicks.
They like him for his big charity balls.

Yeah, and don't leave out
his very large bankroll.

Remember, the more they've got,
the less they're worth.

Then this guy must be
the most worthless guy in America.

Check this out.

He must have been
king of the wicker people.

- Where did this come from?
- I have no idea.

- It's Japanese.
- How do you know?

Because I bought it in Japan.

- Who are you?
- Oh, sorry. Bruce Wayne.

- Alexander Knox.
- Hi.

Oh, I read your work.
I like it. I like it a lot.

Oh, thanks. Can I have a grant?

- Vicki Vale.
- Hi.

- Bruce Wayne.
- Are you sure?

Yeah, this time.

I've seen your photographs
from Corto Maltese, haven't I?

- Right.
- Yeah, you've got a wonderful eye.

Yeah, some people think she has two.

This is an amazing house.
I'd like to shoot it sometime, if you--

Mr. Wayne, we need to open a few more
cases of the champagne.

- Will that be all right?
- Oh, sure. Go ahead.

Open, what, six?

- Six?
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Six is good.

Okay. Yeah.

That's great, six. Thanks.

- You going to be in Gotham for a while?
- I'd love to.

I'm intrigued by Alex's
giant bat stories, so....

Oh, the-- Right.
Bat-- The Batman. Thing.

Yeah. That's a little bit light after the war
in Corto Maltese, isn't it?

- And what do you do for a living?
- Well, I'm--

Sir, Commissioner Gordon
was compelled to leave.

- Okay, thank you.
- Very unexpectedly, sir.

- Will you two excuse me?
- I think, perhaps, this way, sir.

Alfred, they need more wine
in the front.

And someone named Mrs. Daley
needs a copy of the menu.

Oh, and...

...give Knox a grant.

Nice talking with you, Wayne.

The rich....

You know why they're so odd?
Because they can afford to be.

I mean, look at this mirror.
Maybe it should be Bruce Vain.

- Robert, what's up?
- Anonymous tip.

- Napier's cleaning out Axis Chemicals.
- Good Lord.

If we can put our hands on him,
we'd have Grissom.

Why wasn't I told about this?
Who's in charge?

- Eckhardt, sir.
- Oh, my God.

Come on, let's go. Let's go.

All right, take a good look.
This is the guy.

All right, get a good look.

Shoot to kill.
Know what I mean?

All right, let's move out.

We've been ratted out here, boys.
Watch it.

Freeze!

Left. You, take the right.
Move it. Move it.

What the hell's going on?

Christ. What're you trying to do,
blow the collar?

I'm in charge here, not Carl Grissom.

This is Commissioner Gordon.

I want him taken alive.

I repeat, any man who opens fire
on Jack Napier will answer to me.

Let me down!

Let me down!

Let me down!

Oh, my God.

Go that way!

See if you can get up on the catwalk
on that side.

You take that side. Be careful.
Be very careful.

Jesus!

Let him go, or I'll do Gordon!

Nice outfit.

Come on, Jack, let's go!

- Come on!
- Come on, Jack!

Eckhardt.

Think about the future.

Goddamn it, we had him.

Hold it right there!

Who is this guy?

I don't know.

Until we find out, keep a lid on it.

Wait, wait, wait. If there's no bat...

...then who dropped this guy, Napier,
into the acid?

Suicide? Wait a minute.
I wanna get this on tape, okay?

Hello?

He hung up.

- Okay, what do you got?
- Okay, here's the inner city.

Axis Chemicals. Here're the sightings.

Maybe Batman has some kind of
flight pattern or something.

- That's all I can think of.
- This is very good.

Tonight, I'll take you to dinner,
and then we'll walk the trail.

No can do.
I got a date with Bruce Wayne.

Wayne? Wayne.

- I knew you'd say that.
- The guy's a stiff.

- He's a rich stiff, but you could do better.
- Thanks for being so concerned. Bye.

How's the soup?

Excuse me?

The soup...

- ...how is it?
- It's great.

Could you pass the salt?

Sure.

Thanks.

Did you have a hard time
finding the house?

Oh, no.

- No, it was no problem.
- Good.

Do you like eating in here?

Oh, yeah.

You wanna know the truth? I don't think
I've ever been in this room before.

- Do you wanna get out of here?
- Yes.

There was young Master Bruce...

...leading his gray pony
with me on its back...

...like a sack of old potatoes
covered in mud...

...and nursing a sprained ankle.

That was the first and last time
I gave him a riding lesson.

Well, I think I've embarrassed him
for long enough.

I'm off to bed.

But please leave everything.
I'll tidy up in the morning.

- Good night, miss.
- Good night, Alfred.

- Good night, sir.
- Night, Alfred.

He's really wonderful.
He loves you a lot.

Alfred's great.
I couldn't find my socks without him.

He sort of reminds me
of my grandfather.

Were you close to him?

Yeah, I used to spend summers
with he and my grandmother.

They had a house on the lake.
Nothing like this, but....

- But it was fun.
- That sounds nice.

Yeah.

What about your family?

Well...

...actually, Alfred is my family.

You know, this house and all this stuff
really doesn't seem like you at all.

Some of it is very much me.

Some of it isn't.

- That dining room is definitely not you.
- No, the dining room isn't.

Let's see how we did.

Oh, my God.

Mirror.

Mirror!

You understand that the nerves
were completely severed, Mr. Napier.

You see what I have to work with here.

There are an awful lot of stairs
in this place. My feet are killing me.

Okay.

Well....

I feel a little drunk,
and you're not anything.

Hey, one drink and I'm flying.

Why are you afraid of flying?

That you, sugar bumps?

Who the hell are you?

It's me, sugar bumps.

Jack.

Oh. Oh!

Thank God you're alive.
I heard you'd been--

Fried? Is that what you heard?

You set me up over a woman.

A woman!

Must be insane.

Don't bother.

Your life won't be worth spit!

I've been dead once already.

It's very liberating.

You should think of it as therapy.

Jack, listen...

...maybe we can cut a deal.

"Jack"?

Jack is dead, my friend.

You can call me "Joker."

And as you can see,
I'm a lot happier.

What a day.

Gotham City.

Always brings a smile to my face.

"Winged freak...

...terrorizes...."

Wait till they get a load of me.

Oooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Hey, I've got an idea.

How about lunch at my place?
I'll show you some photos.

Sure. Okay.

Wait a minute.

No, I can't. I can't make it.

Okay, we'll do it later in the day.

Hold on. I can't make it then either.

I've got a very important meeting today.

What's wrong?

Nothing's wrong.

I've just got to go out of town
on business for a few days.

- Okay, we'll do it when you get back.
- All right.

I've got to go. I'm late.

- Bye.
- Come here.

Bye.

Jesus.

- Alfred.
- It's nice to see you again, ma'am.

Nice to see you too.

Well, I'll talk to you guys
when you get back.

Back, Miss Vale?
We're going to be here for quite a while.

Well, bye.

Honey, you'll never believe
what happened to me today.

So, gentlemen, that's how it is.

Until Grissom resurfaces,
I'm the acting president...

...and I say,
starting with this anniversary festival...

...we run this city into the ground.

- Why don't we hear this from Grissom?
- Yeah.

And what's with that stupid grin?

Life's been good to me.

What if we say no?

Well, Tony...

...nobody wants a war.

If we can't do business, why,
we'll just shake hands, and that'll be it.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Ooh! Ooh!

Oh, I got a live one here.

Oh, there will be a hot time
In the old town tonight

Antoine got a little hot under the collar.

You're crazy.

Haven't you ever heard
of the healing power of laughter?

- Now get out of here!
- You heard him, let's go! Move it!

And think it over.

Come on, let's go!

Come on, up, up! Faster! Get out of here!

Come on, get out of here!

Bob.

Go down to the Globe, follow
that reporter, Knox. Take your camera.

See what he knows about this Batman.

And, Bob....

Remember...

...you...

...are my number one guy.

Yes, sir.

Your pals,
they're not bad people.

Maybe we ought to give them
a couple of days to think it over.

No?

Grease them now?

Okay.

You are a vicious bastard, Rotelli.

I'm glad you're dead.

I'm glad you're dead.

I'm glad you're dead!

Oh. I need that.

I'm losing confidence in you.
I thought we were a team.

This wouldn't be a personal issue
for you, would it?

- I just want you to do your job.
- I am doing my job.

- Me too. I'm protecting my partner.
- There's nothing in these files.

No photos, no histories, no nothing.
Who is this guy?

Who cares?

Forget about Bruce Wayne.
I'm on to Batman.

They should be out any second.

I can't wait to hear the explanation
for this one.

Here he comes, man.

So, what's this affidavit you filed?

Grissom gave you all his businesses?

Mr. Grissom asked me,
as a personal favor...

...to take over the operation
of his businesses until he returns.

That's a pretty big favor.
You two must have been very close.

- Very close.
- Did you do time together as children?

Our accountants are looking into this.

We assure you the affidavit is legitimate.

I smell fresh ink, guys.

You can prove all this?
What am I asking? Of course you can.

We have witnesses.
Grissom's signature is perfectly legitimate.

It is legitimate.

I saw it. I was there.

I saw it all.

He reached up with his dead hand...

...and signed it in his own blood.

And he did it with this pen.

Hello, Vinnie. It's your uncle Bingo.

Time to pay the check.

The pen...

...is truly mightier than the sword.

Bruce!

- Wait.
- Go, get down.

Doesn't this gang war dampen the city's
plans for the 200th anniversary festival?

The festival opens. The police
are going to stop these gangsters.

What do you think the theory...

...that the mysterious Batman
is a mob enforcer killing these people?

I don't have any comment now.

Batman.

Batman.

Can somebody tell me
what kind of a world we live in...

...where a man dressed up as a bat
gets all of my press?

This town needs an enema!

Alfred, may I have a glass of water?

I'm relieved that you're home, sir.

Miss Vale telephoned.
She was rather concerned.

I feel that there's a certain weight
that lifts when she is here.

Alfred, why don't you marry her?

That's not exactly
what I had in mind, sir.

I know.

I can't go over that right now.

If not now...

...when?

I don't know.

I just found out Jack Napier's still alive.

He's running Grissom's men. I need
all the information the police have on him.

- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.

Alfred.

She is great, isn't she?

Yes, sir.

- City room, Knox.
- Hi.

- I want you to check something out, okay?
- Shoot.

Find out what's so special about the alley
at Pearl and Phillips streets.

- Corner of Pearl and Phillips?
- Yeah.

- You got it.
- Okay. Okay, bye.

Mr. Wayne.

- So much to do and so little time.
- The photos.

- Who is that loss?
- It's Knox.

Bad tie. No style.

Stop the press. Who is that?

That's Vicki Vale. She's the photographer
who's working with Knox.

Now, that girl has style.

A lovely beast like that running around
could put steam in a man's strides.

She's dating some guy named Wayne.

She's about to trade up.

Hard to stay inside the lines.

I'm about...

...to get a new girl, Bobby.

I'm of a mind to make some mookie.

- Phone book.
- Yes, sir.

So much to do and so little time.

- Have you shipped a million of those?
- Yes, sir.

Ship them all! We're going to take
them out a whole new door!

Ten seconds to transmission.

Five, four...

...three, two, one.

Cue music.

Cue Becky.

Good evening.
The fashion world was stunned today...

...by the sudden deaths of models
Candy Walker and Amanda Keeler.

Cause of death has been attributed
to a violent allergic reaction...

...although authorities have not
ruled out the possibility of drug use. Peter.

And plans continue
for the city's 200th birthday...

...as Mayor Borg announced today
the unveiling--

This just in.

Three mysterious deaths
at a beauty parlor--

At a beauty parlor in Gotham
were discovered today.

Barry, what the hell's going on?

Becky, this is hardly the....

Becky.

- Kill the camera.
- This is Renee on the news floor.

- I need paramedics up here now.
- Is she all right?

New and improved Joker products!

With a new secret ingredient:

Smilex.

What is this?

Now, let's go over
to our blind taste test.

Love that Joker.

- Where is it coming from?
- I don't know.

Uh-oh.

He don't look happy.
He's been using brand X.

But with new, improved Joker brand...

...I get a grin again and again.

That luscious tan...

...those ruby lips...

...and hair color so natural,
only your undertaker knows for sure.

I know what you're saying:

"Where can I get
these fine, new items?"

Well, that's the gag.
Chances are, you bought them already.

Love that Joker.

So remember, put on a happy face.

- The information you requested, sir.
- Thank you.

"Jack Napier.
Assault with a deadly weapon, age 15.

Results of psychological profile:

Violent mood swings, highly intelligent,
emotionally unstable.

Aptitudes includes science,
chemistry and art."

Chemistry.

Alfred, let's go shopping.

Yes, sir.

Six new deaths, with no clues
as to the Joker's deadly weapon.

And what is the pattern?

Foods, alcohol
or beauty and hygiene products?

Cologne, mouthwash,
underarm deodorant?

Or worse yet, there may be no pattern.

The search goes on
through Gotham's shopping nightmare.

We are going to have a festival...

...if I have to get a shotgun
and get people there myself.

Do you hear the words coming out
of my mouth, Dent? The festival is on.

And you find out what this madman
is poisoning us with...

...and fast. Do you read me?

We're working on it.
I need all the help I can get.

Bruce? Hi, it's Vicki.

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna be
10 minutes late to the museum.

I'll see you when I get there. Bye.

Sir, a message from Miss Vale.

She'll be 10 minutes late
in meeting you at the museum.

Okay, fine. Thank you.
Wait a minute, Alfred.

I'm not meeting her today.

Jack, where are you going?

Daddy's going
to make some art, darling.

Excuse me. Mr. Wayne's table?

Yes, he hasn't arrived yet.

- We have a table waiting.
- Great.

Miss Vale, this just arrived for you.

Uh. Oh!

Gentlemen...

...let's broaden our minds. Lawrence.

Give him a shave.

Terence, brush.

The $1 bill.

Hold it.

I kind of like this one, Bob. Leave it.

You can take that off now, I think.

You're beautiful
in an old-fashioned kind of way.

But I'm sure we can
make you more today.

Is that your portfolio?

I'm meeting someone
who wants to see my work.

Crap.

Crap. Crap.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

Ah.

Now, that's good work.

The skulls, the bodies.

You give it all such a glow.
I don't know if it's art, but I like it.

Let me tell you
what I'm thinking about, sweetie.

I was in the bath one day when I realized
why I was destined for greatness.

You know how concerned people are
about appearances.

This is attractive, that is not.

Well, that is all behind me. I now do
what other people only dream.

I make art until someone dies.

See?

I am the world's first fully
functioning homicidal artist.

What do you want?

My face on the $1 bill.

You must be joking.

Do I look like I'm joking?

Listen.

We mustn't compare ourselves
to regular people. We're artists.

For instance, let me challenge you
with a little piece I did.

Bob. Alicia.

You will take pictures
and record my work.

You will join me in the avant-garde
of the new aesthetic.

Jack, you said I could watch you
improve the paintings.

I'm in trouble now.

Why is she wearing a mask?

Well, she's just a sketch, really.

Alicia, sit down.
Show the lady why you wear the mask.

You see, Miss Vale, Alicia's been
made over in line with my new philosophy.

So now, like me,
she is a living work of art.

I'm no Picasso, but do you like it?

It's great.

So, what can I do for you?

Oh, a little song, a little dance.

Batman's head on a lance.

Tell me, what do you know about...?

I don't know anything about Batman.

Really?

Well, how about a little you and me?

- You're insane.
- I thought I was a Pisces. Come on.

Let's make up.
Have a little whiff of my posy.

Ah! Help me!

I'm melting!

I'm melting! Help me! I'm melting!

I'm melting! I'm melting!

Boo.

Hold on.

Where does he get
those wonderful toys?

- Get in the car.
- Which one?

Let's go.

Shields.

- How much do you weigh?
- About 108, I think.

Hold on.

See that thing on my belt? Grab it.

Whatever you do, don't let go.

No blood. Hey, who is this guy?

Check his wallet.

- Wait a minute.
- What is that?

Some kind of body armor.
He's human after all.

Take off the mask.

Shoot her!

Shields open.

You weigh a little more than 108.

- Oh, really?
- Let's go.

Stop.

Where are we going?

Be careful.

Bats.

They're great survivors.

- What is all this?
- The police have got it wrong.

They're looking for one product.

The Joker's tainted hundreds
of chemicals at the source.

Then whole shipments
of products would be poisoned...

...and we'd all be dead.

No.

The poison only works when components
are mixed. Hair spray won't do it alone.

But hair spray mixed with lipstick and
perfume will be toxic, and then traceable.

How did you figure this out?

Take that to the press.

I might have some trouble with that.

A lot of people think you're
as dangerous as the Joker.

He's psychotic.

Some people say the same thing
about you.

What people?

Well, I mean, let's face it.

You're not exactly normal, are you?

It's not exactly a normal world, is it?

Why did you bring me here?

I mean, you could have sent that stuff
to the press yourself.

You're right.

There is something else
you have that I want.

What?

He took the film.

- Yeah.
- Vale, where have you been?

Are you all right?
You want me to come over?

No. No, Allie.

Allie, if I bring something to you,
can we make the evening edition?

Just barely. Is it hot?

Yeah, it's real hot. Yeah, bye.

- Copy!
- Yes, sir?

Avoid the following combinations:

Deodorants with baby powder,
hair spray and lipstick.

Safe products are flying in as
Gotham City goes on a forced fast.

And all of Gotham is wondering
what to make of Batman.

Friend or foe?

- Meanwhile....
- I have given a name to my pain...

...and it is Batman.

You must possess strength
to inflict pain, Bob.

We've got a flying mouse to kill,
and I wanna clean my claws.

Sir, Miss Vale called again.

Dare I suggest that
your present course of action...

...might simply strengthen her resolve?

She is quite tenacious.

You're right about that.

And if I may say so, quite special.

Perhaps you could try
telling her the truth.

Coming.

Hi.

May I come in?

This is a nice apartment.

Lots of space.

- Listen, I came over to clear a few things--
- I don't know who you think you are.

- You hurt me.
- I know. Look--

- I called you, and I called you.
- I know.

And you lied. You lied to me
about leaving town.

- Let me tell you why.
- Let me tell you!

You invited me out. We went to dinner.
I thought we felt something.

I trusted you. I even slept with you.
I can't believe I did.

And then you wouldn't return my calls.
You must be some kind of jerk.

Look, you're a real nice girl,
and I like you a lot...

...but for right now, shut up.

I have something I have to tell you.

You know how people have
different sides to their personality?

Sometimes a person will have
to actually lead a different life.

Oh, my God, you're married.

No, I'm not married.
No, that's not it.

You see...

...my life is really...

...complex.

All right, listen. You know how
a normal person gets up...

...and goes downstairs...

...eats breakfast...

...and kisses somebody goodbye
and goes to a job and...?

- You know.
- No.

No.

All right, look.

Vicki, what I'm trying to tell you is....

- Hey, it's okay. You can tell me.
- Okay.

What?

What I'm trying
to tell you is.... See, uh--

I'll be right back.

I'm Batman. I'm Batman.

Miss me?

Nice place you've got here.
Lots of space.

Vicki, we really need to have a talk.

I'm very upset.

We were having dinner.

I was a man doing well
with a beautiful woman.

And without so much as an apology...

...you ran off with that sideshow phony.

You know, Vick...

...I've recently had a tragedy in my life.

Alicia threw herself out of the window.

Oh, my God.

But you can't make an omelet
without breaking some eggs.

Well, Miss Vale...

...another rooster in the henhouse?

Take thy beak from out of my heart.

Bruce....

Bruce Wayne, n'est-ce pas?

Most of the time.

I know who you are.

Let me tell you
about this guy I know, Jack.

Mean kid. Bad seed.

- Hurt people.
- I like him already.

You know what the problem was?

He got sloppy. You know, crazy.

He started to lose it.

He had a head full of bad wiring,
I guess.

Couldn't keep it straight up here.

He was the kind of guy...

...who couldn't hear the train
until it was 2 feet from him.

You know what happened
to this guy, Jack?

Well...

...he made mistakes.

Then he had his--

His lights out!

Now, you wanna get nuts?
Come on! Let's get nuts.

Tell me something, my friend...

...you ever dance with the devil
in the pale moonlight?

- What?
- I always ask that of all my prey.

I just like the sound of it.

Never rub another man's rhubarb.

Why is it every time I come for you...

...somebody always gets in the way?

I'll need a moment alone, boys.

I'm only laughing on the outside.

My smile is just skin deep.

If you could see inside,
I'm really crying.

You might join me for a weep.

Ah, pbbt.

Oh, Lord.

Oh, God.

You wouldn't believe it.
You really wouldn't.

Well, while you were out entertaining...

...I've been here finding out
about your street corner.

Vale, I think your friend Wayne
is really screwed up.

More good news.

Here.

Oh, my God.

His parents were murdered
in that alley.

That's why he went there.

Poor kid watched the whole thing
happen in front of him.

Look at the look on the face.

It was the same in front of City Hall.

What do you suppose something
like this does to a kid?

Vale.

Don't get personal.

Alfred, did you get
the file on my parents?

It's on your table, sir.

Thank you.

What's on your mind, Alfred?

I have no wish to fill
my few remaining years...

...grieving for the loss of old friends.

Or their sons.

The 200th anniversary birthday gala
has been indefinitely postponed.

We simply cannot guarantee
public safety--

Joker here.

We got interference.
Call the OB unit.

Now, you fellas have said
some pretty mean things.

Some of which were true
under that fiend, Boss Grissom.

He was a thief and a terrorist.

On the other hand, he had
a tremendous singing voice.

He's dead now,
and he's left me in charge.

Now, I can be theatrical...

...and maybe even a little rough.

But one thing I am not is a killer.

I'm an artist.

I love a good party.

So truce.

And I've got a surprise
for Gotham City.

At midnight, I will dump 20 million
in cash on the crowd.

Don't worry about me.
I've got enough.

We are not prepared
to discuss any deals.

You heard it, folks, 20 million.

And there will be entertainment.

The big duke-a-roo. With me in one corner
and in the other corner...

...the man who has brought real terror
to Gotham City. Batman.

Can you hear me?

Just the two of us, mano a mano.

I have taken off my makeup.

Let's see if you can take off yours.

Tell me, kid...

...you ever dance with the devil
by the pale moonlight?

Man, let's go!

Let's go, Jack!

See you around, kid.

Thanks.

Hi.

Tell me if I'm crazy...

...but that wasn't just another night
for either of us, was it?

I mean, we both got to each other,
didn't we?

Why won't you let me in?

Why?

You got in.

I've loved you since I met you.

But I don't know what to think of all this.
I really don't.

Look, sometimes I don't know what
to think about this.

- It's just something I have to do.
- Why?

Because nobody else can.

Look, I tried to avoid all this,
but I can't.

This is how it is.

It's not a perfect world.

It doesn't have to be a perfect world.

I just gotta know,
are we gonna try to love each other?

I'd like to.

But he's out there right now...

...and I've gotta go to work.

Into the air, Junior Birdman!

Missed me!

Yeah! Watch me!

Get them. Take the pictures.

Gotham's greed.

And now, folks...

...it's time for "Who Do You Trust?"
Hubba, hubba, hubba.

Money, money, money! Who do you trust?

Me? I'm giving away free money.

And where is the Batman?

He's at home, washing his tights.

Winged battle flies through the night
and finds me ready.

Bob, mask.

- Mask! Put them on now!
- Right.

And now comes the part...

...where I relieve you, the little people...

...of the burden of your failed
and useless lives.

But as my plastic surgeon always said:

"If you gotta go, go with a smile."

Oh, my God. Smilex gas.

- He's gonna kill everybody!
- Get in the car.

- No, no!
- Get in the car!

Hurry!

Vale!

Hey, hey! No, no, no!

My balloons.

Those are my balloons.

He stole my balloons!

Why didn't somebody tell me
that he had one of those things?

Bob, gun.

Going to need a minute
or two alone, boys.

Come on, get out of here!

Come on, you gruesome son of a bitch.
Come to me.

Come on.

Darling.

I've got to get you to the church
on time.

Yes, sir.

Gotham City Cathedral.
Transportation for two.

- Right away, sir?
- Five minutes.

Five minutes.

- Better make it 10.
- Okay, 10 minutes.

All right, let's go, men. Let's go.

You men go that way. Follow me.

Let's go.

You men point those searchlights
up on the tower right now. Move! Move!

It can be truly said
that I have a bat in my belfry.

Shall we dance?

You know, without you,
I just wouldn't wanna go on.

It's as though we were made
for each other.

Beauty and the beast.

Of course, if anyone else calls you "beast,"
I'll rip their lungs out.

Mr. Joker...

...you say such beautiful things.

And you're so powerful and purple!

Oh. Oh, I love purple.

Excuse me.

You ever dance with the devil
in the pale moonlight?

I'm going to kill you.

You idiot!

You made me, remember?

You dropped me
into that vat of chemicals.

That wasn't easy to get over.
And don't think that I didn't try.

I know you did.

You killed my parents.

What?

What are you talking about?

I made you. You made me first.

Hey, bat-brain, I mean, I was a kid
when I killed your parents.

When I say, "I made you,"
you gotta say, "You made me."

I mean, how childish can you get?

You wouldn't hit a guy
with glasses on, would you? Huh?

What are you laughing at?

Here, let me lend you a hand.

Lend you a hand.

They don't make them like they used to!

Do they, hey? Hey, Batsy?

There he is! Down there!

Go down!

Well, it's time to retire.

Feel free to drop in.

Sometimes I just kill myself!

- Come on. Now.
- Hold on!

Come on! Come on!

Our police have rounded up
all the Joker's men.

The reign of crime is over.

Public safety in Gotham City
is no longer a laughing matter.

Hey, Vale, aren't you covering
this press conference?

Nope.

Well, what about our Pulitzer Prize?

What about us?

What about your picture of Batman?

Take care, Allie.

We've received a letter
from Batman this morning.

"Please inform the citizens of Gotham...

...that Gotham City's earned
a rest from crime.

But if the forces of evil
should rise again...

...to cast a shadow
on the heart of the city...

...call me."

Question:

How do we call him?

He gave us a signal.

I thought champagne
would be in order, ma'am.

Hi, Alfred.

Mr. Wayne told me to tell you
that he might be a little late.

I'm not a bit surprised.