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0
00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:05,560
Listen up, everybody.
OK, just Cate.
1
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:06,934
I have an announcement.
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,499
Wait, wait, Paul, not until I've
had my first cup of coffee of the day.
3
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:13,011
I've seen you pour five cups already.
4
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,980
One cup, I just, you know,
warmed it up a few times.
5
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:18,108
A few? Try five.
6
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:19,913
Honey, honey. Tsk tsk.
7
00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:22,454
- Mom. Dad.
- Bridget's hogging the bathroom.
8
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:25,389
- I was gonna say that!
- And Kerry was gonna tattle on her.
9
00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:29,018
Do you realize you just tattled
on someone for tattling?
10
00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:31,224
Yeah.
11
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,667
Long as you're here, I've got
an exciting announcement. Cate?
12
00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:36,258
Wait, I just need a warm-up.
13
00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:41,132
OK, your oldest daughter
has been in the bathroom for an hour.
14
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:45,541
- An hour? What is she doing in there?
- We can rule out reading.
15
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:48,046
[phone rings]
16
00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:50,344
- [Rory] Hello.
- One more smart remark,
17
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:54,319
- there will be a consequence.
- My life is a consequence.
18
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:59,086
Honey, that would have a lot more impact
if you didn't say it every day.
19
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,325
- No, Darin. Bridget's busy.
- [Bridget] Darin?
20
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,125
She can't come to the phone now.
21
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,190
- Why, you ask?
- Rory!
22
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,234
- Because she's in...
- No!
23
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:10,667
...the bathroom.
24
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:16,340
- You told him I was in the bathroom?
- No, I didn't. Oh, wait, I did.
25
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:19,105
No one can know I use the bathroom.
My life is ruined.
26
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:22,478
- I have to do damage control.
- No calls, put the phone down.
27
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,279
I've got an important announcement
for the family.
28
00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:30,084
Dad, if I don't get on the phone, people
will think I actually use the bathroom.
29
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:33,951
Bridget's using the phone
after you told her not to.
30
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,286
It's like a disease with you, isn't it?
31
00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:39,422
Mom! Dad said I have a disease.
32
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:40,864
Oh, come on, please.
33
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:43,800
Would somebody like to listen
to my announcement?
34
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:46,896
Switched at birth.
Please say I was switched at birth.
35
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:49,533
Kerry! Cate, would you
help me out over here?
36
00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:51,405
What's the big news?
37
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:58,451
OK, I just reserved,
for our family vacation
38
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,679
our favorite cabin at the lake!
39
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:03,751
For two weeks!
40
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,426
Non-refundable deposit!
41
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,105
The cabin we all love!
42
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,042
Paul, put your arms down.
43
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:38,453
Why are we going to the cabin at the
lake? It's so stupid. I hate the lake.
44
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:42,619
Well, I can see everyone
is as excited about the cabin as I am.
45
00:02:42,695 --> 00:02:44,856
Look, in the spirit of open-mindedness,
46
00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:49,663
let's all take a seat and listen
to everyone else's ideas.
47
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:51,670
OK.
48
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:56,131
Cabin by the lake, Paul.
We haven't forgotten.
49
00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:58,074
Write it down.
50
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:03,876
What about space camp?
They have zero gravity chambers
51
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:07,214
and you get to sleep in
real astronaut bunk beds.
52
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,517
Could he be any geekier?
53
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:13,423
You know, I have a place that's fun,
educational, and very patriotic.
54
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:17,020
- Space camp?
- Astro-not.
55
00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:20,122
Where I wanted to go
was Mall of America.
56
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,431
It has over 550 stores, an amusement
park and 50 restaurants.
57
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:24,470
It's a no-brainer.
58
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,335
You just walk right into these,
don't you, Bridget?
59
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:30,069
Kerry, you're really getting to me
with your sarcasm.
60
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:35,470
You know, I think this family should go
visit Grandma and Grandpa in Sarasota.
61
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:39,382
We could hang out in the sun,
it'll be relaxing, we'll go swimming
62
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,181
and I don't have to cook.
63
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,321
Cate, your parents don't like me.
64
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:47,291
You know, I know that, honey,
and I weighed that...
65
00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:52,390
...but I still have to go
with "don't have to cook."
66
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:56,427
OK, Kerry, your turn.
Where do you wanna go on the vacation?
67
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:57,469
Oh, whatever.
68
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:01,506
I've always wanted to go there.
You talk about it all the time.
69
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:05,442
OK, a family vacation should be
a vacation away from your family.
70
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:09,277
Not move your family to a smaller place
with fewer bathrooms.
71
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:14,719
What's going on? Sounds like you don't
wanna go anywhere with your family.
72
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:17,415
So now who's being sarcastic?
73
00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:22,525
Why are we having this discussion? You
know we're gonna end up at the cabin.
74
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,359
Well, it is on your mother's list.
75
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:29,299
Oh, come on, you know what, I am really
tired of all of you dumping on my ideas.
76
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:32,827
You wanna decide, fine,
we'll have a contest.
77
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,840
Bridget, you have to give up
talking on the phone.
78
00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,535
You have to give up tattling.
79
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,771
And you, Princess of Darkness,
80
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,681
you have to give up being
cynical and sarcastic
81
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:47,186
and the last person standing
gets to pick the vacation.
82
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,554
Or picks no vacation at all?
83
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,386
- OK, if you win.
- I'm so in.
84
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,985
Paul, what about you? Fair's fair,
you have to give up something, too.
85
00:04:56,062 --> 00:05:01,625
Fine, I don't mind giving up something
if you can find a flaw in my character,
86
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:04,261
some little, tiny bad habit.
87
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:06,897
- The way you come into our room.
- The way you dress.
88
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:10,101
Kids, kids, kids, kids!
One at a time.
89
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,942
How about giving up
the remote to the TV?
90
00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:17,176
Oh, you're kidding, right?
At least make it challenging.
91
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,275
Oh yeah, you wouldn't last a day.
92
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:22,844
OK, fine. What about you, happy?
93
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,016
What can you give up?
94
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:30,324
Me? Well, I'm practically
perfect in every way.
95
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:35,328
- But I'm sure we'll find something.
- What about your coffee addiction?
96
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:40,537
Addiction?
No, I'm just a social coffee drinker.
97
00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:44,603
I can stop anytime.
98
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:48,613
- OK, well now would be good.
- Well how 'bout just one more sip.
99
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:49,943
No, I think that's good.
100
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:54,578
I think it's better.
No, it's better this way, cold turkey.
101
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:03,652
Well, how we holding up
without our morning coffee?
102
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:07,564
- Fine. Just fine.
- We're out of orange juice.
103
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:09,794
So go buy some!
104
00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:15,670
It's OK, I'll have some cran-apple
juice. Would you make me some, hon?
105
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:22,538
You have no respect for me or the work I
do around here or the clothes you wear.
106
00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:28,383
- Paul, that shirt is hideous!
- Thanks. You think it'll bug Kerry?
107
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:35,160
You know, I... I really don't care.
I have a splitting headache.
108
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:39,756
Honey, sweetie, you know what,
you're just going through withdrawal.
109
00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:42,096
Know what you need?
Know what would help...
110
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:45,604
...is a nice, steaming
hot cup of coffee.
111
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:52,541
- Daddy, look, there's a fight on ESPN.
- Oh, Bridget, thank you so much.
112
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:55,638
- And, now there's not.
- [chuckles]
113
00:06:57,116 --> 00:07:00,552
You know, behind those beautiful
green eyes, there's pure evil.
114
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:03,521
I'm gonna get one blue contact.
It'll look so awesome.
115
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,614
- Far out.
- [phone rings]
116
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:10,590
Hello. Oh, hi Darin.
117
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:13,826
No, sorry, Bridget can't
come to the phone now.
118
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,958
Want me to say
you're not in the bathroom?
119
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:17,762
Daddy, that is so mean.
120
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:22,637
No, Bridget, no, it's a telemarketer.
I'll call you back.
121
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:26,240
Paul, did you see your daughter?
122
00:07:26,345 --> 00:07:28,836
I know. I'm winning. I mean...
123
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:36,855
Hey, Care Bear, do you like my shirt?
Pretty foxy, huh?
124
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:47,963
Mom, I'm gonna write something down
and I'd like you to read it to Dad, OK?
125
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:50,594
If it's sarcastic,
you're still out.
126
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:53,935
[scoffs] Never mind.
127
00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:56,702
[knocking loudly]
128
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:58,710
Ow. Ow.
129
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:05,647
Rory! Oh, my, it is freezing out there.
Who locked you out in your underwear?
130
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,276
It was...
131
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,713
...nobody.
- Oh, honey.
132
00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:18,588
No. No, no, no, no. Listen.
133
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:22,225
And the tragic thing was,
I was just shaving my legs.
134
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,997
They do not get hairy.
I was just shaving them.
135
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,005
- What are you doing?
- Just putting my clothes in the dryer.
136
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:37,640
Oh, excellent. You know, then,
the next step would be to turn it on.
137
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:41,780
I must have left it in my pocket.
138
00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:49,053
Hello. Hi, Kyle.
139
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,490
Yeah, she'll call you back.
140
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,726
Gee, I thought you had more will power.
141
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:57,864
What's that smell?
142
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,138
Fabric softener?
143
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:07,406
Oh really? What's it called?
144
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,745
Moca Java Dryer Sheets?
145
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,686
- Ha! You're cheating!
- Oh, so what.
146
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,687
You are so busted.
147
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:20,658
Yeah, well so are you.
And what a drag.
148
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:25,026
You know, Mall of America was starting
to sound better than my parents' condo.
149
00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:28,464
Mom, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
150
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,002
That we form an alliance?
151
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:36,639
Or, that we team up and
not bust each other.
152
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:43,712
Yeah, I like your way better.
153
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:47,219
Good. I don't want to know
what happens to hair in zero gravity.
154
00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:50,517
So how do we knock Dad, Kerry,
and Rory out of the game?
155
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,956
Oh, I don't really care.
156
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:04,799
I mean, everybody has to go.
157
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,338
I don't!
158
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,871
Oh, come on, it's no big deal.
159
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:13,571
Hey, sometimes I even
write my name in the snow.
160
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:17,474
- Kyle!
- And yours.
161
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,881
Eww!
162
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:22,011
- Hey, no touching.
- Yes, good. No problem.
163
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:25,080
- Where's your mother?
- At home.
164
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:31,354
- Her mother.
- You mean my grandma?
165
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:41,835
No, Bridget's mother.
166
00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:44,808
How should I know?
167
00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:52,684
- She's doing laundry.
- Again? That's the third time today.
168
00:10:54,186 --> 00:10:55,278
Bridget, guess what?
169
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:59,791
Somebody hung a "Reserved for Bridget
Hennessy" sign on the girls' bathroom.
170
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:03,590
Who would do a mean thing like that;
such a sarcastic thing?
171
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:08,032
I don't know. But, you know, maybe
you should call Heather, and find out.
172
00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:13,302
- Where are you going with that?
- Laundry room.
173
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,772
I mean the cream.
174
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:19,538
- It takes out red wine stains.
- It what?
175
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:23,548
- Hey, Dad, Dad look, sports.
- Oh God, Bridget.
176
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:27,712
- I'll help, Mom.
- Oh, this is so cool.
177
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:31,154
- Oh, look, Dad, not sports.
- Oh...
178
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,788
- Well, I better be going.
- I love it when you say that.
179
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:39,331
Oh, wait, wait, Kyle, there's
a Pistons game on the other channel.
180
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:41,127
- Cool.
- You wanna watch with me?
181
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,861
- Why?
- I don't know,
182
00:11:42,935 --> 00:11:45,426
maybe we could get to
know each other better.
183
00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:47,435
Like bonding.
184
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:52,268
Well, I guess you could say...
Just turn the channel, please.
185
00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:54,904
Attaboy. Come on.
186
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:58,575
Dad, can you show me
how the washing machine works?
187
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:01,586
- Rory, I'm watching the game with Kyle.
- We're bonding.
188
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,212
- Quiet Kyle.
- But Dad.
189
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:05,586
Not now.
190
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,955
You know, Mr. Hennessy,
191
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:09,551
my Dad never takes the time
to watch a game with me.
192
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:13,359
- He doesn't? That's so sad.
- So, actually, it means a lot...
193
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:17,596
It's not a commercial.
Do you see a commercial?
194
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:20,932
- Now I do.
- No wait, Kyle.
195
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:23,770
- Later, Papa H.
- No, no, don't go, Kyle. Wait, wait!
196
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:26,778
We were bonding,
something about your dad.
197
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:28,609
[door shuts]
198
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:29,681
Kerry?
199
00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:33,482
Um, do you think you'd mind, uh,
200
00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:36,282
perhaps just for once,
201
00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:39,620
changing the channel for me?
Please?
202
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:43,458
- Sure.
- Oh, thanks honey.
203
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:48,227
Oh. Look, Dad, it's television
for women. You wanna watch?
204
00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:52,529
Dad, do you know how you always say
you should face your fears?
205
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:56,063
- No.
- Well, one should.
206
00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:01,378
I'm scared of the laundry room.
Help me face it.
207
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,610
You know, you're a pretty weird kid.
208
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:08,582
Sometimes I hear horrible noises
coming from there.
209
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:12,316
Slurping, beeping,
ghost like whispers.
210
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:15,258
Oh, what a big man you are,
211
00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:19,821
to admit to your fears even though
it could cause ridicule.
212
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:24,894
Your sister and mother are down there.
Go ask them to check it out.
213
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,904
- Hey!
- Oh, sorry, Dad.
214
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,133
You better put that
in the wash right away.
215
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:39,241
- Are you outta of your mind?
- I can't say.
216
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:44,017
Rory, don't keep things bottled up, son.
It's unhealthy.
217
00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:46,319
It creates inner conflict
that can lead...
218
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:50,226
Go to the laundry room while Bridget's
on the phone and Mom's drinking coffee!
219
00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:54,224
Doesn't it feel better to get
that off your chest?
220
00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:58,964
- I blew it, didn't I?
- Oh yeah. You're out.
221
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:05,465
Tiffany's water bra leaked during
volleyball practice? I am so...
222
00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:07,637
He's got you.
223
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:16,351
Daddy, you scared me. Mom, give me my
coffee I gave you to hold for me,
224
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:18,685
while I dialed the phone for you.
225
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,990
Oh, who cares?
I'm just gonna make another pot.
226
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:25,394
You're both out.
Hit the showers.
227
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:34,199
- Looks like it's just you and me, kid.
- And soon, it'll be just me.
228
00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:38,437
What do you say I take you out
for a bite, just you and me?
229
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,274
You're planning something, aren't you?
230
00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:48,418
Can't a Dad treat his daughter
to a nice, quiet, relaxing dinner?
231
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:52,321
Welcome to Maybe Baby's. I'll be
serving you this evening. I'm Sandy.
232
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,824
Oh, for the love of...
233
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:56,587
Gosh, I love your costume.
234
00:14:56,695 --> 00:15:00,995
Thanks. You know, if you wait 40
minutes, I change into Bad Sandy.
235
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:04,593
['50s music playing]
236
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:07,400
- I sing Leader of the Pack.
- We've gotta stay for that.
237
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:08,838
Um...
238
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:14,073
good Sandy, what do you recommend
for someone who's not very hungry?
239
00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:17,342
- We have a Love Me Slender salad.
- Ooh!
240
00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:19,610
I'll just stick with water.
241
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:25,521
Let's see, for me, what looks yum,
yum, yummy, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
242
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,856
I'll have the grilled cheese sandwich
with Chubby Cheddar.
243
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,091
- Okey-dokey.
- [imitating Elvis] Thank you very much.
244
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:39,201
Dad, you've clearly underestimated my
tolerance of bad, fake, '50s diners.
245
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,603
- Fine, let's just enjoy dinner.
- OK.
246
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:44,234
- How's school?
- Fine.
247
00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:47,779
It's a great time of life for you,
you know, right now.
248
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:49,279
The jocks, the pep squad...
249
00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:52,442
- Dad, I know what you're doing.
- What? High school's fun.
250
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:58,423
The marching bands, the mascots,
prom decorating committee.
251
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:01,823
Yes, Dad. All the happy people
are having a wonderful time.
252
00:16:03,228 --> 00:16:06,493
- You're not one of the happy people?
- That's not what I meant.
253
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:09,796
- What did you mean?
- Whoa! Way too personal.
254
00:16:09,868 --> 00:16:12,200
Let's just stick to the contest, OK?
255
00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:17,197
Yeah, and just to let you know,
I'm back, I'm bad and I'm nationwide.
256
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,367
I gotta go.
257
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:19,809
- No, Dad!
- Kerry!
258
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,745
I'm not talking unless
it's about the contest, OK.
259
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,682
- Some things are more important.
- Hey, Dad, look!
260
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:27,981
- Doesn't this make you crazy?
- Not now.
261
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:32,484
Kerry, the reason
I did this contest was because
262
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:36,858
I wanted Rory to give up tattling
'cause it's a pain in the neck.
263
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,830
Bridget to give up the phone
because she's always on it.
264
00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:44,858
I wanted your mother to give up coffee
because, well, that one was just mean.
265
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:49,764
And I wanted you to give up being
sarcastic because, you know,
266
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,709
once in a blue moon,
I'd like to see the genuine you.
267
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,837
You know, you made up this contest
268
00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:59,350
because it was another way for you
to make us do what you want us to do.
269
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:02,285
I mean, like going
to the lake every year,
270
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:06,586
or... or making me talk about things
that I don't want to talk about.
271
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:10,454
God, Dad, I mean, that's why you love
the remote control so much,
272
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,690
you know, you love
to control everything.
273
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:16,325
As long as we're being genuine, do you
want to know why you're sarcastic?
274
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:18,563
- Well, I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
- Paul.
275
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:21,800
It's a wall you hide behind,
because otherwise, God forbid,
276
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:23,875
people would see the real you.
277
00:17:23,942 --> 00:17:26,172
The you you're afraid people won't like.
278
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:28,008
- Paul.
- Dad.
279
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:29,876
Who's winning?
280
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:34,216
- I'm out. The contest is over.
- Kerry, you win.
281
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:37,119
Big deal. Who cares?
You know what...
282
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:38,884
Kerry!
283
00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:41,425
[sighs] What did she just say?
284
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:47,288
I... I think she said she wants
to go to Mall of America.
285
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:49,791
- [knocking]
- [Paul] Kerry.
286
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,460
Oh, go away.
287
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,038
I'm sorry.
288
00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,236
Sorry, monkey.
289
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,875
Monkey.
290
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,781
Oh, forget it. You were right.
291
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:07,910
No, you know, I...
292
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:15,223
...I didn't mean to lose it
and upset you downstairs.
293
00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:22,700
You may not believe this, but I was a
pretty easygoing guy once upon a time.
294
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:26,295
- What happened?
- Kids brought out the worst in me.
295
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:31,334
There's Muttsy. Hey, doggie.
296
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:35,470
Do you remember what happened at the
department store when you were five?
297
00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:37,811
- Oh, Dad, not again.
- It's a pivotal moment.
298
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:41,182
We were getting out of the elevator,
I turned away for two seconds,
299
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:43,813
you hopped back in, the doors closed,
you were gone.
300
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:48,155
- I can still hear you screaming, "No!"
- That was you.
301
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:51,754
When I finally found you, you
ran into my arms and burst into tears.
302
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:54,526
- Nuh-uh.
- OK, I did.
303
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,429
- You bought me Muttsy.
- I would have bought you the store.
304
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:03,030
- I asked for a bike.
- You weren't gone that long, sweetie.
305
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,072
It's OK. I love Muttsy.
306
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:11,411
- Know what Muttsy's first words were?
- No.
307
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,919
It was on the ride home,
and Muttsy said to me,
308
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:18,684
"Can we go to the cabin on the lake?"
309
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:23,892
- 'Cause there were no elevators.
- No elevators.
310
00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:25,725
Thank God I bought you that dog.
311
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:29,164
It's the only way I could find out
what's really going on with you.
312
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:33,531
Yeah, a talking bike
would've been really stupid.
313
00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:37,439
As long as we're still talking,
314
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:40,876
when do you think Muttsy developed...
315
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:42,947
...well, developed that attitude?
316
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:45,516
Muttsy does not have an attitude, OK.
317
00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:50,351
Kerry you have to admit,
you've got one sarcastic dog there.
318
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:56,517
Bear, you know,
you don't let anyone in.
319
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:02,463
Maybe some people just don't want
everybody knowing their business. OK?
320
00:20:02,568 --> 00:20:06,868
We're family. We get into each other's
business, that's what families do.
321
00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:10,236
So you're not that tough,
322
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:13,073
so you cry sometimes,
is that so weird?
323
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:18,208
No. Weird is not wanting anyone
to know you use the bathroom.
324
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:20,251
Great, we're on the same page here.
325
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:25,851
So you'll try harder
to be less sarcastic? Maybe?
326
00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:27,949
At least with your family?
327
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:31,291
Work out a system, odd-even days?
328
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,660
- Maybe.
- OK.
329
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:42,906
Come on, let's go downstairs.
330
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,907
Come here.
331
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:53,816
This contest was stupid,
and I think my Dad was cheating
332
00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:56,911
so now my dream trip to
Mall of America is totally ruined.
333
00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,286
Oh, yeah and Kerry cried.
334
00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:01,549
Mom, Bridget told her friends
that Kerry cried.
335
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:02,651
That's shocking.
336
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:06,096
Mmm. Hello, friend.
337
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:10,197
Well, we have a winner.
And we have some losers.
338
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,102
OK. Good, Kerry wins,
now we can stay home.
339
00:21:13,171 --> 00:21:16,299
Or maybe not.
I have an announcement to make.
340
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:19,071
This year we're going
to the cabin at the lake.
341
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:21,704
- [Bridget scoffs]
- The cabin at the lake!
342
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:26,748
Paul, put your arms down.
28481
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