Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,383 --> 00:00:05,483
Niles, this steak
is a little tough.
2
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:08,180
So is life...
3
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:10,276
and then you die.
4
00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:14,433
Okay, what
do you
think?
5
00:00:14,466 --> 00:00:17,156
This one
itches,
but I look
taller.
6
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:20,660
This one
pinches,
but I look
thinner.
7
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,170
Have you ever considered
8
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,170
choosing a wardrobe
based on comfort?
9
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,250
No.
10
00:00:25,283 --> 00:00:27,333
Once you start dressing
for comfort,
11
00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:29,330
the next thing you know,
you're on line
at Pathmark,
12
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:31,330
wearing orthopedic shoes,
buying Nair.
13
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,220
It is just
a P.T.A.
meeting.
14
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:37,180
Yeah, well, meanwhile
some of those P's and
T's
15
00:00:37,216 --> 00:00:40,276
could be lonely he's.
16
00:00:40,316 --> 00:00:42,276
You've certainly
got the A for it.
17
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:47,330
Meanwhile, I don't want
to embarrass Gracie.
18
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:48,330
You could never embarrass me.
19
00:00:48,366 --> 00:00:50,146
Oh...
20
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:52,123
Except that time
at the playground
21
00:00:52,150 --> 00:00:55,250
you screamed at Bobby Mitchell
for hogging a swing.
22
00:00:55,283 --> 00:00:58,383
Well, it was my turn.
23
00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:00,496
What do you think, Mags?
24
00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:01,220
Go with the black.
25
00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:02,450
Smaller price tags are
easier to hide,
26
00:01:02,483 --> 00:01:04,203
and you can still return it.
27
00:01:04,233 --> 00:01:06,303
Very good!
28
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:10,503
At this age,
they're like a sponge.
29
00:01:10,830 --> 00:01:13,300
She's got almost
as much
personality.
30
00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:15,233
Oh, look.
31
00:01:15,266 --> 00:01:19,346
The P.T.A. is planning
their big pageant.
32
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,383
Isn't that
right up your alley?
33
00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:23,656
I produce
plays
for a living.
34
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,300
Why on earth would I want
to
do that in my spare time?
35
00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:27,133
Well, because Grace
is going to be in it.
36
00:01:27,166 --> 00:01:28,246
She is?
37
00:01:28,283 --> 00:01:29,283
I am?
38
00:01:29,316 --> 00:01:30,326
You are.
39
00:01:30,366 --> 00:01:33,826
Come on. It'll be fun.
40
00:01:33,116 --> 00:01:35,146
You'll get to play with all
the other children,
41
00:01:35,183 --> 00:01:37,123
wear makeup, costumes...
42
00:01:37,150 --> 00:01:39,500
Besides, it's a great way
to get guys.
43
00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:42,170
What do I do with them
when I get them?
44
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,500
Let's not get ahead
of ourselves.
45
00:01:45,830 --> 00:01:46,330
Grace performing in public?
46
00:01:46,366 --> 00:01:47,366
Yeah, what's the matter?
47
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,420
Well, for one thing,
48
00:01:48,450 --> 00:01:50,160
she's in therapy twice a week
49
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:52,500
for being insecure
and introverted.
50
00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:53,380
So is Barbra Streisand,
51
00:01:53,416 --> 00:01:56,226
but meanwhile, she's
getting
a thousand bucks a ticket,
52
00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:58,096
and that's without a beverage.
53
00:01:58,133 --> 00:01:59,373
Liza, we got prime rib.
54
00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:06,430
♪♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪♪
55
00:02:06,466 --> 00:02:08,126
♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
56
00:02:08,166 --> 00:02:09,326
♪♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪♪
57
00:02:09,366 --> 00:02:11,116
♪♪ In one
Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
58
00:02:11,150 --> 00:02:13,350
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
59
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,353
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
60
00:02:15,383 --> 00:02:17,183
♪♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪♪
61
00:02:17,216 --> 00:02:18,326
♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
62
00:02:18,366 --> 00:02:20,826
♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup ♪♪
63
00:02:20,116 --> 00:02:21,366
♪♪ But the father saw more ♪♪
64
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,430
♪♪ She had style, she had flair
She was there ♪♪
65
00:02:23,466 --> 00:02:27,126
♪♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪♪
66
00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:29,396
♪♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪♪
67
00:02:29,433 --> 00:02:32,233
♪♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
68
00:02:32,266 --> 00:02:33,476
♪♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪♪
69
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:35,220
♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
70
00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:36,470
♪♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪♪
71
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,330
♪♪ Such joie de vivre
She's the lady in red ♪♪
72
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,250
♪♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪♪
73
00:02:42,283 --> 00:02:45,303
♪♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪♪
74
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,003
♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
75
00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:02,183
Oh, I'm just wild about
this school.
76
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:03,316
Wasn't it sweet
77
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,130
the way they hung
all the arts and crafts
78
00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:06,266
out in the hall?
79
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:09,230
I tell you, that Pablo
is a very talented kid.
80
00:03:09,266 --> 00:03:11,366
Miss Fine,
that was a Picasso.
81
00:03:13,383 --> 00:03:16,163
An adult did those?
82
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:17,420
Eh.
83
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,200
Oh, don't look now,
84
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:23,323
but we are making
quite a stir.
85
00:03:23,350 --> 00:03:26,350
Guess I wore
the right outfit.
86
00:03:26,383 --> 00:03:28,353
Miss Fine,
they're looking at
me.
87
00:03:28,383 --> 00:03:30,303
They think just because
I'm a Broadway producer
88
00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:32,163
and I'm at this meeting,
89
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,130
they're gonna rope me
into staging the
pageant.
90
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:35,426
Uh-oh. Here it comes.
91
00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:37,116
Oh, boy.
92
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:42,430
I love your outfit. Everybody's
talking about it.
93
00:03:42,466 --> 00:03:44,396
Oh, thank you.
94
00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:49,380
Mr. Sheffield, what a surprise.
95
00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:51,296
I know how busy you are.
96
00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:53,323
Night and
day,
like a dog,
97
00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:55,400
but never too
busy
for his kids.
98
00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:57,483
And you are?
99
00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,280
This is our nanny,
Miss Fran Fine.
100
00:03:59,316 --> 00:04:01,216
This is
Miss Emma Trusdale,
101
00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:03,500
Lexington's
headmistress.
102
00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:06,150
Oh, head mistress, huh?
103
00:04:06,183 --> 00:04:07,473
Honey, you're
living
in a dream world.
104
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,150
No matter what they say,
105
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:10,473
they never
leave
their wives.
106
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,000
[CLEARS THROAT]
107
00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:16,480
We're about to begin,
Mr. Sheffield.
108
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,180
Why don't you just have
a seat here
109
00:04:19,216 --> 00:04:21,366
on the front row next to me?
110
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,420
Hmm. Teacher's pet, huh?
111
00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:27,830
Attention, everyone.
112
00:04:27,116 --> 00:04:29,656
In a wonderful coincidence,
113
00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:33,230
we are here to discuss
this year's school pageant,
114
00:04:33,266 --> 00:04:35,246
and we have amongst us
115
00:04:35,283 --> 00:04:37,003
the esteemed
Broadway producer
116
00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:38,330
Maxwell Sheffield.
117
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:39,270
I'm your greatest fan.
118
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,126
That shade of lipstick
looks great on your butt.
119
00:04:47,266 --> 00:04:51,496
Miss Fine, would you care
to share that with everyone?
120
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:53,100
No, Miss Trusdale.
121
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,380
And now to the business at hand.
122
00:04:59,416 --> 00:05:01,326
We need a volunteer
123
00:05:01,366 --> 00:05:04,316
to serve as director
for this year's pageant,
124
00:05:04,350 --> 00:05:06,280
Mother Goose's Broadway.
125
00:05:06,316 --> 00:05:08,216
Here it comes.
126
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:10,170
Well, it wouldn't hurt
you
to get involved.
127
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,150
Perhaps Mr. Sheffield can?
128
00:05:12,183 --> 00:05:14,833
Suggest someone?
129
00:05:14,116 --> 00:05:16,266
Oh, yes, I'd be delighted to.
130
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:19,000
I'd like to
suggest
Miss Fran Fine.
131
00:05:19,330 --> 00:05:20,450
Oh, me?
132
00:05:20,483 --> 00:05:22,833
Her?
133
00:05:22,116 --> 00:05:23,446
I don't know anything
about theater.
134
00:05:23,483 --> 00:05:25,833
Remarkably,
135
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,216
that's never stopped you
from doing anything.
136
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:28,400
Well, I did play Hodel
137
00:05:28,433 --> 00:05:31,153
in the third-grade
production of
Fiddler.
138
00:05:31,183 --> 00:05:32,323
No, no, if Mr. Sheffield
is busy,
139
00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:34,150
I'm sure one
of the other parents
140
00:05:34,183 --> 00:05:37,103
is eager to volunteer
for this exciting challenge.
141
00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:41,430
TheFlushing Observer
"Fran Fine was a standout
142
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,466
as Tevye's lost but heavily
made-up daughter."
143
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:49,130
Anyone at all,
just raise your hand.
144
00:05:52,383 --> 00:05:55,303
The time to raise your hand
would be now.
145
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,826
How about you, Miss Fine?
146
00:06:00,116 --> 00:06:02,316
Oh, Miss Trusdale, I accept,
147
00:06:02,350 --> 00:06:04,250
and I just want to thank you all
148
00:06:04,283 --> 00:06:06,663
for your confidence in me.
149
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,230
I only hope I can live
up to your expec--
150
00:06:08,266 --> 00:06:09,446
[THUMPS]
Moving on!
151
00:06:09,483 --> 00:06:11,333
Tations.
152
00:06:17,266 --> 00:06:18,376
FRAN: Hey, hey, hey.
153
00:06:18,416 --> 00:06:19,466
No running.
154
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,180
You can poke
somebody's eye out.
155
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,126
I just gave my first piece
of direction.
156
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,656
Hmm. And I was there.
157
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,450
Mommy, I'm hungry.
158
00:06:27,483 --> 00:06:30,833
You ate yesterday!
159
00:06:30,116 --> 00:06:32,326
Fat girls don't get leads.
160
00:06:32,366 --> 00:06:34,656
[GASPS]
161
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,300
Good God!
162
00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:37,123
I just had
a horrible
flashback
163
00:06:37,150 --> 00:06:39,130
to thoseAnnie2
auditions.
164
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,156
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no. Oh.
165
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,200
Back!
166
00:06:44,233 --> 00:06:46,183
Back.
167
00:06:46,216 --> 00:06:47,466
Keep moving, Maxwell.
168
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,420
They're small, but they're
dangerous when they swarm.
169
00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:52,250
Okay, everybody.
170
00:06:52,283 --> 00:06:55,663
I want my dancing daisies
over here,
171
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,000
my singing mushrooms over there.
172
00:06:57,330 --> 00:06:59,420
Daisies, mushrooms.
173
00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:01,180
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You, you, you.
174
00:07:01,216 --> 00:07:03,316
You're not a flower.
You're a fungus.
175
00:07:05,266 --> 00:07:07,146
Miss Fine,
where's the sign-up sheet?
176
00:07:07,183 --> 00:07:08,333
The what?
177
00:07:08,366 --> 00:07:10,126
Well, you really ought
to have a sign-up sheet.
178
00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:13,276
Oh, it isn't necessary.
This is just a kids' play.
179
00:07:13,316 --> 00:07:15,826
What do we do with our music?
180
00:07:15,116 --> 00:07:17,176
Oh, give it
to the accompanist.
181
00:07:17,216 --> 00:07:19,346
You do have
an accompanist.
182
00:07:19,383 --> 00:07:21,503
Oh, yes, yes.
Of course we do.
183
00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:22,330
Uh, Maggie,
184
00:07:22,366 --> 00:07:24,366
get off the phone and go sit
at the piano.
Okay.
185
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,180
Hey, big guy.
186
00:07:28,216 --> 00:07:29,326
Excuse me?
187
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,656
I hear you're
close
to the director.
188
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,120
Fran? Oh, she works for us.
189
00:07:33,150 --> 00:07:36,000
Gee, I'd do
anything
to play the lead,
190
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,230
and I do mean anything.
191
00:07:40,366 --> 00:07:42,116
Does your mother know
you're saying this?
192
00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:45,120
Oh, yeah. She wrote
it
down for me. See?
193
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,166
And now I'm supposed
to kiss you!
194
00:07:51,330 --> 00:07:52,450
Sing, Bernard.
195
00:07:52,483 --> 00:07:56,163
Sing, Bernard!
196
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,300
Sing!
197
00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:01,353
That's okay, Bernard.
198
00:08:01,383 --> 00:08:05,433
That's okay. We'll make you
a mushroom.
199
00:08:05,466 --> 00:08:07,096
Shiitake.
200
00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:10,273
Okay, next we're going
to audition
201
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:12,330
for the first-grade number.
202
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:15,250
Now, this scene opens up
the whole pageant.
203
00:08:15,283 --> 00:08:17,203
Gracie, you're on.
204
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,320
[IN TIMID VOICE]
♪♪ The itsy-bitsy spider ♪♪
205
00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:23,320
♪♪ Went up the water spout ♪♪
206
00:08:23,350 --> 00:08:25,300
Sing it, Gracie!
207
00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:27,483
[LOUDER]
♪♪ Down came the rain
And washed the spider out ♪♪
208
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,830
One more time.
209
00:08:29,116 --> 00:08:31,216
♪♪ Out came the sun ♪♪
210
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:34,500
♪♪ And dried up all the rain ♪♪
Bring it home!
211
00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:36,500
♪♪ And the itsy-bitsy spider ♪♪
212
00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:38,160
♪♪ Went up the spout again ♪♪
213
00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:41,330
Oh, wonderful,
wonderful, my darling!
214
00:08:41,366 --> 00:08:42,376
Wasn't she wonderful?
215
00:08:42,416 --> 00:08:44,146
Mm!
216
00:08:44,183 --> 00:08:45,303
WOMAN: We're next.
217
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:46,373
Oh.
218
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,300
Come on, dear.
219
00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:51,473
Now stand right here,
sweetheart. Smile.
220
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,330
All right,
and one and two and three--
221
00:08:54,366 --> 00:08:57,116
Tempo!
[PLAYS PIANO]
222
00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,660
♪♪ Johnny could only
Sing one note ♪♪
223
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:01,250
♪♪ And the note
He sang was this ♪♪
224
00:09:01,283 --> 00:09:04,333
♪♪ Ah... ♪♪
225
00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:05,830
Thank you.
226
00:09:05,116 --> 00:09:06,296
[NOTE CONTINUES]
227
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:07,433
Thank you!
228
00:09:07,466 --> 00:09:09,096
[NOTE CONTINUES]
229
00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:11,503
[SCREAMS]
Thank you!
230
00:09:15,316 --> 00:09:17,376
Thank you.
That was very nice.
231
00:09:17,416 --> 00:09:19,826
Sit down, honey.
232
00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:23,160
Well, I don't even think
there's a question, do you?
233
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,330
It's Gracie by a mile!
234
00:09:25,660 --> 00:09:27,400
Miss Fine, how could you
possibly make that choice?
235
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,283
This other girl
was phenomenal!
236
00:09:29,316 --> 00:09:31,476
What do I care
about that little girl?
Am I her nanny?
237
00:09:33,116 --> 00:09:35,396
No, you're
the director. You're
supposed to cast actors
238
00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:37,373
according to talent,
not on who they know.
239
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,150
What show business
are you working in?
240
00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:45,480
Besides, look
at Gracie.
241
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,300
She's already
so confident and outgoing.
242
00:09:48,333 --> 00:09:50,333
Have you ever
seen her so happy?
243
00:09:50,366 --> 00:09:52,276
Daddy, I got the part!
244
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,230
They like me.
They really like me.
245
00:09:56,266 --> 00:09:57,996
Aw.
246
00:09:58,330 --> 00:09:59,420
I suppose it was
the right choice.
247
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:01,180
I'll work with her.
248
00:10:01,216 --> 00:10:02,376
Sure.
249
00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:07,450
FRAN: And touch and step
and touch and step...
250
00:10:07,483 --> 00:10:10,833
And turn, turn, turn,
251
00:10:10,116 --> 00:10:12,316
cross, and squat.
252
00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:15,660
Very, very good.
253
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:17,280
Now, help Miss Fine up.
254
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:18,376
Oy!
255
00:10:18,416 --> 00:10:20,146
Thank you.
256
00:10:20,183 --> 00:10:22,483
Meanwhile, these pantyhose
have a life of their own.
257
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:28,430
Mr. Sheffield,
you've
decided to help
after
258
00:10:28,466 --> 00:10:30,416
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm not here to direct the show.
259
00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:33,430
I'm just here to support
my little girl.
Oh.
260
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,446
Oh, hi, Mr. Sheffield.
Hi, Daddy!
261
00:10:35,483 --> 00:10:37,173
Hello. How's it going?
262
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:41,500
Oh, fabulous. The kids
are having a great time.
263
00:10:41,830 --> 00:10:43,150
Stanley, stop biting my leg.
264
00:10:43,183 --> 00:10:45,103
What did you think
of the number?
265
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:47,433
Well, why, uh--
266
00:10:47,466 --> 00:10:49,446
Why are they all wearing
paper bags on their heads?
267
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,253
They're mushroom caps.
268
00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:52,353
Ah.
269
00:10:52,383 --> 00:10:55,423
Who did the wardrobe, A&P?
270
00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:57,180
Maybe.
271
00:10:57,216 --> 00:10:58,476
I had a choice of paper
or plastic,
272
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,270
but you know, they tend
to discourage
273
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,230
plastic bags on kids' heads.
274
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:05,470
Well, I suppose
it'll all come together
275
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,160
once the set's up.
276
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:09,250
The set is up.
277
00:11:09,283 --> 00:11:10,473
Hmm.
278
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,100
You know,
279
00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:13,233
not to discourage
your input here,
280
00:11:13,266 --> 00:11:14,316
but, uh, well,
281
00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:16,330
I kind of have
a vision going.
282
00:11:16,366 --> 00:11:20,326
Perhaps Mr. Sheffield could
just fine-tune the costumes.
283
00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:22,326
And the scenery.
284
00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:23,120
And the lights.
285
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,220
Maybe tell the actors
where to stand.
286
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:26,470
And how to
deliver
their lines.
287
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,400
I'm not an expert
on theatrical terminology,
288
00:11:29,433 --> 00:11:31,163
but, uh...
289
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:32,470
Wouldn't that be
considered directing?
290
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,330
All right,
if you
insist.
291
00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:38,100
Gracie, honey, Daddy's
going to direct.
292
00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:41,223
Yoo-hoo, aren't you forgetting
just one thing?
293
00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:44,100
Oh, all right, I'll do
the choreography too.
294
00:11:44,133 --> 00:11:45,273
Well, what about Fran?
295
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:46,330
Yeah. What about Fran?
296
00:11:46,366 --> 00:11:48,196
You could be
the producer.
297
00:11:48,233 --> 00:11:49,323
That's right.
Congratulations!
298
00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:50,380
Yes, congratulations.
299
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:53,283
Now, Miss Trusdale,
300
00:11:53,316 --> 00:11:56,466
I see a follow spot
and a low French horn.
301
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,380
Yes!
Just wailing out...
302
00:11:58,416 --> 00:12:00,376
Shouldn't the producer
be in on this?
303
00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:03,466
We'll do lunch.
304
00:12:09,266 --> 00:12:11,296
♪♪ Mary had a little lamb ♪♪
305
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:17,323
♪♪ Its fleece was
white as snow ♪♪
306
00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:19,170
♪♪ Oh ♪♪
307
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,270
Thank you!
308
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:22,200
♪♪ Oh ♪♪
MAXWELL: Thank you!
309
00:12:23,483 --> 00:12:27,163
Andrea, love, you're
not blending in.
310
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:28,170
You're upstaging everyone.
311
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,100
My mother says my voice
is a gift.
312
00:12:31,133 --> 00:12:33,503
Well, return it.
313
00:12:34,483 --> 00:12:37,833
Uh, second-- second flower,
314
00:12:37,116 --> 00:12:38,416
Where are you going?
Get back in line.
315
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:40,660
She has to make.
316
00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:41,320
She has to make what?
317
00:12:41,350 --> 00:12:43,250
A doody.
318
00:12:43,283 --> 00:12:45,183
Very well. Carry on.
319
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:47,470
MAXWELL: Grace.
320
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,270
Sweetheart, you're
not relating to your lamb.
321
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:53,230
You see, you have
to listen to the lyrics.
322
00:12:53,266 --> 00:12:56,146
The lamb follows you
everywhere you go.
323
00:12:56,183 --> 00:12:57,473
You're very attached to it.
324
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,230
I don't get it.
325
00:12:59,266 --> 00:13:01,246
The lamb's co-dependent.
326
00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:03,373
Oh.
327
00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:07,250
All right. Once more
from the top.
328
00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:08,473
This time just Grace.
329
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,330
[IN SMALL VOICE]
♪♪ Mary had a little-- ♪♪
330
00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:14,320
We're forgetting everything!
331
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:17,660
All right.
We'll work on it later.
332
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,830
Go on. Take five.
Not you, Grace.
333
00:13:19,116 --> 00:13:21,216
You better work
on your time step.
334
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,170
Oh, these amateurs.
335
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,500
Where are the great child actors
when you need them?
336
00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:28,480
Robbing 7-Elevens.
337
00:13:30,466 --> 00:13:32,326
Careful, Gracie.
338
00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:34,280
Wouldn't want to fall off
the stage.
339
00:13:34,316 --> 00:13:37,166
Andrea, got a cookie.
340
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,380
Fetch.
341
00:13:41,183 --> 00:13:43,323
It was more fun when
you were directing.
342
00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:46,130
I know.
Can I get you anything?
343
00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:49,316
Juice... and to beep
my therapist.
344
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,830
Oh.
345
00:13:54,350 --> 00:13:56,150
[SHOES TAPPING]
346
00:13:58,283 --> 00:14:00,233
Oh, she's been
tapping for
hours.
347
00:14:00,266 --> 00:14:01,296
I'll tell you,
it's a crime.
348
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:04,503
I'll say. I just waxed
the floor.
349
00:14:04,830 --> 00:14:05,450
She's like the Energizer rabbit.
350
00:14:05,483 --> 00:14:07,353
She just keeps going and going.
351
00:14:07,383 --> 00:14:09,423
The vacuum cleaner is destroyed.
352
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:12,150
Hoover doesn't make
a gummi bear attachment.
353
00:14:12,183 --> 00:14:14,323
Nothing that she does
is good enough.
354
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,230
What is the
matter
with that man?
355
00:14:16,266 --> 00:14:18,166
Doesn't he believe in nepotism?
356
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,250
I mean, where would
Lorna Luft be today?
357
00:14:21,283 --> 00:14:24,003
Did you ever try to get
Bazooka out of brocade?
358
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,330
[TAPPING CONTINUES]
359
00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:26,100
Wait a minute. What's that?
360
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,303
I believe it's Morse code.
361
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:31,453
S... O... S.
362
00:14:31,483 --> 00:14:34,203
She needs my help.
I gotta talk
to Mr. Sheffield.
363
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:35,333
I don't know what you're doing.
364
00:14:35,366 --> 00:14:37,176
An ice cube will lift
that gum right up.
365
00:14:37,216 --> 00:14:39,326
Hmm.
366
00:14:39,366 --> 00:14:42,346
Of course I've always wanted
to direct as well,
367
00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:44,273
and I find the children's
theater genre
368
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,150
absolutely fascinating.
369
00:14:46,183 --> 00:14:48,273
How do you spell genre?
370
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:52,200
Mr. Sheffield,
can I have a word
with you, please?
371
00:14:52,233 --> 00:14:54,003
Well, I'm in the middle
of an interview, Miss Fine.
372
00:14:54,330 --> 00:14:55,420
Oh. Take your time.
373
00:14:55,450 --> 00:14:57,280
[HUMS]
374
00:14:57,316 --> 00:14:58,996
Could you give us
a minute, please?
375
00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:01,330
Okay, but don't keep me waiting.
376
00:15:01,366 --> 00:15:04,996
I'm also the reviewer.
377
00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:06,230
Make sure on show night
378
00:15:06,266 --> 00:15:08,216
we have plenty of cookies
backstage for the press.
379
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,830
Mr. Sheffield,
380
00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:12,346
aren't you taking this
a little too seriously?
381
00:15:12,383 --> 00:15:14,503
Absolutely not.
382
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,830
Excuse me, sir.
Andrew Lloyd Webber phoned.
383
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,326
You have the
Phantom
orchestra.
384
00:15:17,366 --> 00:15:19,116
Yes!
385
00:15:20,183 --> 00:15:22,133
Well, you're the one
who wanted me to get involved.
386
00:15:22,166 --> 00:15:23,326
Yes, I know,
387
00:15:23,366 --> 00:15:25,346
but you're working these kids
entirely too hard,
388
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,403
especially Gracie.
389
00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:28,153
Oh, my father pushed me,
390
00:15:28,183 --> 00:15:30,163
and look where I am today.
391
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:33,100
Three thousand miles
and an ocean away.
392
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,373
I'm telling you,
393
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,830
you're turning her into
a regular Lennie Scheinbaum.
394
00:15:37,116 --> 00:15:39,826
Miss Fine, please spare me.
395
00:15:39,116 --> 00:15:40,146
All right.
396
00:15:40,183 --> 00:15:41,223
[HUMMING]
397
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,270
Okay, who's Lennie Scheinbaum?
398
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:47,660
His father made
him
so nervous
399
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:49,660
about taking over
the family
business
400
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:51,500
that he started pulling
his hair out of his head
401
00:15:51,830 --> 00:15:52,450
and was bald by the time
he was 15.
402
00:15:52,483 --> 00:15:55,233
Although he did become C.E.O.
403
00:15:55,266 --> 00:15:58,176
for the largest linoleum chain
in the tri-state area.
404
00:15:58,216 --> 00:16:00,176
Did I mention he was
interested in me?
405
00:16:00,216 --> 00:16:02,466
See, I knew
I shouldn't have asked.
406
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,170
I'm giving
you
pearls here.
407
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,130
I'm telling you, if you
don't stop pushing her,
408
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,446
Gracie's gonna grow up
to resent her father.
409
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,120
Nonsense.
410
00:16:09,150 --> 00:16:10,470
Oh, that's what
Lennie's father thought
411
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,830
until Lennie shipped him off
412
00:16:12,116 --> 00:16:14,656
to the Lincoln Tunnel
retirement home--
413
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,180
Jersey view.
414
00:16:15,216 --> 00:16:19,496
Well, unlike the ingrate
Scheinbaum,
415
00:16:19,830 --> 00:16:21,370
Grace appreciates that
I just want her to be the best.
416
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:25,160
You know,
this was supposed
to be a fun experience,
417
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,120
but instead she's upstairs
tapping her brains out
418
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:30,230
like some kind
of a deranged Ann Miller.
419
00:16:30,266 --> 00:16:32,146
That's redundant.
420
00:16:34,166 --> 00:16:36,396
Miss Fine,
you're
overreacting.
421
00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:38,303
I suppose this
doesn't
have anything to do
422
00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:41,103
with my replacing
you
as director.
423
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,283
Oh, well,
424
00:16:42,316 --> 00:16:45,276
if that isn't the most
insulting, petty thing
425
00:16:45,316 --> 00:16:46,376
I ever heard.
426
00:16:46,416 --> 00:16:49,326
Besides, I wasn't replaced.
427
00:16:49,366 --> 00:16:51,416
I was promoted to producer.
428
00:16:51,450 --> 00:16:53,430
Sucker.
429
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:58,250
Mr. Sheffield, can the producer
fire the director?
430
00:16:58,283 --> 00:16:59,283
Yes.
431
00:16:59,316 --> 00:17:00,366
Oh?
432
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:04,000
As easily as a father
can fire the nanny.
433
00:17:04,330 --> 00:17:05,130
Oh.
434
00:17:15,830 --> 00:17:16,200
Are you the usher?
435
00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:19,333
No. I'm the producer.
436
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:20,400
Let me see your tickets.
437
00:17:25,316 --> 00:17:27,156
Lady...
438
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,660
will you wipe my nose?
439
00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:36,270
No.
440
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,220
[SNIFFLES]
441
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:42,280
Don't you have any parents?
442
00:17:42,316 --> 00:17:45,496
Yeah, but they're busy.
443
00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:47,160
J.B. Binghamton,
the investment banker,
444
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,830
is your father?
Yes.
445
00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:52,230
Blow.
446
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:58,330
I can't believe Dad
made us come.
447
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,160
This is gonna
be so lame.
448
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,660
Children, this is your
sister's big night.
449
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,400
I think we should
all support her.
450
00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:05,433
I brought cards.
I'll deal.
451
00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:11,330
Miss Fine? Uh, we, uh,
we have a bit of a crisis.
452
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,150
Grace is
refusing to go
on.
453
00:18:15,183 --> 00:18:17,303
I-- I think it's stage fright.
454
00:18:17,333 --> 00:18:19,283
Oh, well, I wonder why.
455
00:18:19,316 --> 00:18:22,246
You've made the stage
such a warm and loving place.
456
00:18:22,283 --> 00:18:24,423
I need your help.
457
00:18:24,450 --> 00:18:26,200
You need to speak with her.
458
00:18:26,233 --> 00:18:28,253
Me, talk to the actors?
459
00:18:28,283 --> 00:18:30,423
Why, isn't that
the director's job?
460
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,230
MAXWELL: What?
Well, what?
461
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:39,656
You want me to
admit I was wrong?
462
00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:41,350
Oh, you think I'm that small?
463
00:18:41,383 --> 00:18:43,203
Turns out I am.
464
00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:45,833
Fine. I was wrong.
465
00:18:45,116 --> 00:18:46,416
I'll hang myself later.
466
00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:48,150
Look, all I
wanted
was for Grace
467
00:18:48,183 --> 00:18:50,253
to go out on that stage
and have everyone love her.
468
00:18:50,283 --> 00:18:53,003
Honey, she doesn't care
if everyone loves her.
469
00:18:53,330 --> 00:18:55,830
All she cares is
if you love her.
470
00:18:55,116 --> 00:18:58,156
I'm turning into
Lennie Scheinbaum's father.
471
00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:01,433
Worse. My own.
472
00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:03,266
I swore I'd never be like him.
473
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:06,500
Oh, that's all right,
Mr. Sheffield.
474
00:19:06,830 --> 00:19:08,160
I myself have to fight the urge
475
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:11,150
to wash out gefilte fish jars
and use them as glasses.
476
00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:12,353
Hmm.
477
00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:13,423
She's in here.
478
00:19:15,216 --> 00:19:17,216
Um, Gracie, honey.
479
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:18,250
Aw.
480
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,663
I can't work
with that
man.
481
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:21,130
Oh.
482
00:19:21,166 --> 00:19:23,116
Grace, sweetheart,
483
00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:24,420
I'm-- I'm sorry
I was such an
ogre.
484
00:19:24,450 --> 00:19:28,830
I didn't mean to
push you so hard.
485
00:19:28,116 --> 00:19:29,376
Look...
486
00:19:29,416 --> 00:19:31,316
you're more
important to
me
487
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,270
than any silly play.
488
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:37,000
I'm so proud of you
whether you go on or not.
489
00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:38,830
Thank you, Daddy.
490
00:19:38,116 --> 00:19:39,316
[CHUCKLES]
491
00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:41,470
Because I really don't wanna
go on.
492
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,350
Are you insane?
493
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,503
The house is full.
494
00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:47,160
We've got a critic out there.
495
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,830
The whole show rests
on your shoulders.
496
00:19:49,116 --> 00:19:51,416
Paging Mr. Scheinbaum.
497
00:19:51,450 --> 00:19:53,230
Sorry.
498
00:19:53,266 --> 00:19:55,096
Wrong again.
499
00:19:56,150 --> 00:19:57,400
Oh, sweetheart,
it's just that
500
00:19:57,433 --> 00:19:59,303
you've worked so
hard
at this show,
501
00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,833
and I really think
you could be
brilliant.
502
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:04,996
I'm sorry,
Daddy.
I just can't.
503
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:07,100
Miss Fine?
504
00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:08,223
Yeah.
505
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,130
The one time I'd like you
to butt in.
506
00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:12,326
Hey, I'm with her.
Who needs it?
507
00:20:12,366 --> 00:20:15,156
All those people
looking at you,
508
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:16,250
all the lights
in your eye--
509
00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,153
Oh, the whole thing's
a turn-off.
510
00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:19,383
Thank you, Miss Fine.
511
00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:20,466
You know what, honey?
512
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,170
Don't worry.
The show will go on.
513
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,200
Andrea knows
all of your lines.
514
00:20:25,233 --> 00:20:27,663
She will take your place.
515
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,180
Over my dead body.
516
00:20:29,216 --> 00:20:30,396
Hold the curtain!
517
00:20:30,433 --> 00:20:33,233
Makeup!
518
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:36,346
That's why they call me
the producer.
519
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,250
Ladies and gentlemen,
520
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:47,003
welcome to the Lexington
Academy's annual pageant,
521
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,420
a Maxwell Sheffield production.
522
00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:50,470
WOMAN: Oh, yay!
523
00:21:01,466 --> 00:21:03,166
[FULL ORCHESTRA PLAYING]
524
00:21:34,133 --> 00:21:38,103
[SMALL VOICE]
♪♪ The itsy-bitsy spider ♪♪
525
00:21:38,133 --> 00:21:40,433
♪♪ Went up the water spout ♪♪
526
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:45,226
♪♪ Down came the rain
And washed the spider out ♪♪
527
00:21:45,266 --> 00:21:47,466
My God, she has
got something, hasn't she?
528
00:21:48,433 --> 00:21:51,123
Yeah. Guts.
529
00:21:54,416 --> 00:21:56,446
[♪♪♪]
530
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:08,250
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
the reviews are in.
531
00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:10,223
Oh, let me see.
What do they say?
532
00:22:10,250 --> 00:22:12,160
Well, they loved Gracie.
533
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:13,150
and they said
the programs
534
00:22:13,183 --> 00:22:15,103
were neatly folded--
That was me.
535
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:16,373
Y-yeah, what did they say
about the production?
536
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:20,330
Oh, "not sinceHudson Hawk
has there been such a...
537
00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:21,120
overproduced,
538
00:22:21,150 --> 00:22:23,350
underdirected
piece of dreck."
539
00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:24,473
Hack.
540
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,400
Oh, that's all
right,
Mr. Sheffield.
541
00:22:26,433 --> 00:22:29,183
Next year you could
fold the programs.
35363
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
