All language subtitles for The Nanny s06 e20

Good afternoon,
my beautiful darling.

Good afternoon, my sweet angel.

-Oh. Well, she's not here?
-No.

Ever since she entered
her third trimester,

her mood swings
have been lethal.

Oh, I know. It's worse than
when Sylvia gave up chocolate.

That was the most unbearable
hour of my life.

Oh, here you guys are.

-Are you hiding from me?
-[all] No.

Oh, good.

Because I have a little surprise
for our new college man.

-Oh, it's just so exciting.
-It's just Harvard, Fran.

Oh, no, I mean the cake.

The interior is pudding.

My son the Harvard man, huh?
Takes me back to my Eton days.

Oh, takes me back
to my eating disorders.

I thought tonight
for a celebratory dinner,
I would make salmon.

Oh, no.

Those poor little salmon,
they spend their whole life

swimming upstream
just to be poached for dinner?

I was going to barbecue.

Ooh, mesquite?

With a teriyaki glaze?

That would be perfect for
Brighton's celebratory dinner.

[sobbing] My baby's leaving.

Who put their finger
in the cake?

[all] You did.

Well, aren't we a bunch
of moody musketeers.

Oh, well, I better get to work.

Before I go, darling,
I just wanted to tell you,
you are beautiful.

You're thin, you're 29, and, oh,
the skin on the back
of your hand just snaps

right back like a rubber band
when you pinch it.

Oh, isn't he wonderful?
I love him so much.

And we are so proud of our son
getting into Harvard.

Uh, Fran, I've decided
I don't wanna go to college.

Why?

Well, it's just that
I don't wanna have tests.

I don't wanna have
responsibilities.
I just want a year off.

That's okay, honey.

If you don't wanna go to
college, we're not
gonna make you go.

There's plenty of people
in my family that chose
not to go to college.

-Really?
-Yeah, well, it seemed like
the natural choice

after they chose
not to finish high school.

So you're really cool with me
not going to Harvard?

I'm totally fine.

It's not a problem.

Come sit down with me, baby.
We're gonna have some cake.

Now, maybe I'll give you
the piece that says "Harvard!"

Hi, Fran.

Bye, Fran.

♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

This is gonna last
you three weeks.

Oh, I just love
getting pampered.

I feel like a regular
Princess Caroline In the City.

Oh, excuse me,
could you give me that magazine?

See, my nails are still wet.

Oh, B, thanks so much
for bringing us.

You know,
you can't drive with wet nails.

Oh, that is so weird.

I wonder how that happened.

-So anyway, Fran.
-[hair dryer whirring loudly]

-I was thinking
what we would do--
-What?

No, when we get home,
what we're gonna do
is we have to make sure--

-What? What?
-So that-- When we-- Oh, Fran.

What I said was,
when we get home,
we have to make sure

we talk to Dad
about me not going to Harvard.

Oh, honey, what do you think
I'm getting all beautified
here for?

I wanna look pretty
when I tell him
the horrible news.

You know, I can't run
like I used to.

Would you like me
to exfoliate you?

Should this be exciting to me?

If you like a woman scraping
dead skin cells off your face.

Oh, so she does touch me.

Oh, yeah.

-[Val] Oh, Fran.
-What?

I leaned on my wet nails
and I got it all over my face.

-Oh, honey. Right.
-Oh, I'm so stupid.

You know,
next time you gotta remind me,

use flesh-colored nail polish.

Hey, any of you's
want your tea leaves read?

Oh, and I had a cup of Sanka.

Oh, I can read that too.

Since when are you a psychic?

Since when do you need to know
my business?

Well, I'm sorry, Libby,
I just didn't know
you were a fortune-teller.

Are you calling me a liar?

Could you do my cup?

Yeah, sure.

Ooh. Oh, never mind,
that's raisin bagel.

[gasps] I am seeing two people
very much in love.

-I'm also seeing
a very happy marriage.
-[squeals] To who?

-I'm getting an "F."
-As in "pharmacist"?

Uh, Val, "pharmacist"
begins with a "P," honey.

Yes, but his name is Fred
and that begins with an "F."

Doesn't it?

Oh, Val, remember
when we were at the pharmacy

the other day getting tweezers?
Fred kept staring at you.

We thought that it was because
you had that Q-tip
stuck in your ear.

But maybe it was love.

I am also getting
a semi-attached condo villa
in Phase Four.

-[gasps]
-And lots of babies.

Oh, you're gonna have sex.

What about me? What about me?

My psychic powers tell me
you already had sex.

-No, do me. Do me.
-I don't do diet soda.

What, am I a quack?
Sit down. Give me your palm.

Okay.

All right,
what have we go there?

I see you very happy
with your three new kids.

No, no, no, wait.
Make that two.

Things look
really good for you.

Uh-oh.

[Fran]Uh-oh?
What's with the "uh-oh"?

I see your husband
with a sexy blond
with great legs.

-I'm gonna go blond?
-It ain't you.

Well, if it ain't me, who is it?
What's my husband doing
with a leggy blond?

With piercing blue eyes.

I'm... I'm seeing Beverly Hills.

I'm... I'm seeing them
in bed together.

Their arms wrapped around
each other... [chuckles]
Ssss... Oof.

Well, don't you see
anything good
on this hand?

Well, your skin snaps back
like a rubber band.

Darling, don't be ridiculous.

What does that no-good
yenta

My future.

She said Max was gonna have
an affair with a leggy blond.

Oh, my God. You think it's me?

Ma.

I'm sorry, but since
I lost the weight,

-your husband has been
giving me the eye.
-Ugh.

He's just in shock
at how big your head looks now.

Thank you.

Ma, she saw them kissing
in Beverly Hills.

We can't move to California.

Although, on the upside,
when you get a divorce
in California,

you get half of everything.

Particularly, if he leaves you
for someone who's younger.

Ma, she didn't say younger.

What? He's gonna leave you
for someone older?

Big head.

Darling, you're putting
your faith in a woman

who sweeps up hair
at the Chatterbox.

I don't know about
that place anymore.

The last time
I had my hair done there,

when I got home, I pulled out
the twoReader's Digests

I stuffed in my blouse,
they were from 1994.

I was almost too embarrassed to
put them on my cocktail table.

That story disturbs me
on so many levels.

All I'm saying is,
you are overreacting

to that shyster Libby
and her voodoo.

Mmm. Maybe you're right.

I mean, she said that Val
was gonna get married
and there's no way.

[Val] Hi, Fran.

-Val.
-The psychic was right, Fran.

You know, Fred the pharmacist.

-Yeah, hi, Fred.
-We're dating.

Hi, Fran Sheffield.
How's your welt?
Did it pustulate?

It was a small red mark.

No, it was like an éclair
was sitting in there.

-When did you two start dating?
-Today.

But I loved her
from the first time I saw her.

Standing catty-corner
to the Metamucil display.

You know, the orange-flavored
laxatives you buy,
Fran Sheffield?

Shh!

Ma.

Ma, my life is over.

The psychic was right about Val.

And she's right about me.

Oh, darling, you're not
thinking straight.

You're too wound up.

What psychic wouldn't predict
that Dumb and Dumber

would eventually
find each other?

This is one boring-ass
baby shower.

Yetta, Fran's baby shower
is next week.

Oy, I can't believe I missed it.

Can I at least see the baby?

Whoa!

Look at you, walking already.

Oh, you're gonna be way too big
for these OshKosh B'Gosh.

Oh, Niles,

how am I going to figure out
who my husband
is leaving me for?

He's not leaving you for...

Why don't you go back
to the psychic
and ask for details?

Like a name.

I can't. They fired her.

Do you know that she predicted

$138 would be missing
from the cash register?

What she neglected to predict
was they would search
through her purse.

-Oh, why is he straying?
-Oh...

He's not straying. Believe me.

If he didn't leave
when he met your mother,
he ain't going nowhere.

Great news. Network called
and they decided to
pick up my pilot.

-Ah!
-Yeah, they want me
to have the announcement

-tomorrow at
the Beverly Hills Hotel.
-Oh, God.

Is that in Beverly Hills?

Oh, sweetheart, don't worry.

I'll only be gone a few days.

Don't leave me!

I'm begging you!

Think of the twins. The twins.

Darling, I'm not leaving you.

I love you.
I'll call you tonight.

Oh, God.

Niles, this is it.

My worst fears
are being realized.

He's gonna wind up in the arms
of a sexy blue-eyed blond.

All right, so the psychic
was right about Val.

But you have nothing
to worry about.

He's not going to be with
some sexy blue-eyed blond
in Beverly Hills.

-He's gonna be with--
-Maxwell, did you
get my carry on?

[both] Miss Babcock.

I don't understand.
Why would she leave me for him?

What I don't understand is
why he would leave me for her.

[imitates Fran] I don't know.

I knew it was
too good to be true.

I was finally getting me some
and he took my some away.

You know, I'm sorry.

I mean, I know I am not blond,
but I'm kind of leggy.

Aren't I? I can't see anymore.

Well, I don't know about you,
but I am not going to
take this sitting down.

Well, what are we going to do?
Follow them to California?

Listen to me listening to you
and this silly psychic.

This is ridiculous.
Your hormones are going crazy.

Your mood swings
are all over the place.

Your ankles are so swollen
you can't even...

Oh, my God.
He is going to
leave you for her.

Well, that does it.
We're going to California.

And I'm packing something
really cute, so she'll
like me better than him.

Ooh, I'll take one of his suits.

Gee, do you think that if I find
a really good push-up bra,

I could pass the twins off
as cleavage?

Uh, excuse me,
I'm Mrs. Maxwell Sheffield.

I lost my key and I need
a new one to get into our room.

-Do you have proof that
you're his wife?
-[scoffs] Hello.

Very subtly look over
your left shoulder
and tell me if that's--

Hello, I'm Fran Drescher.
I'm checking in.

Nails, nails, nails.

Hi.

Excuse me, Miss Fran Drescher,
but I am your biggest fan.

Oh, thank you.

My God, you really
do talk like that.

Who would make this up?

So I see you're into
the flat hair in real life.

Yeah, it's not for you.

Oh, you think
it makes me look fat?

You know, the bigger the hair,
the smaller the hips.

She learned that from your show.

Tell me, what's the butler like?
Is he as funny in person?

I think he steals
the whole show.

Can I interject? I thought
you were so fabulous in
My Cousin Vinny.

Where do you keep your Oscar?

At Marisa Tomei's house.

Are you two here on vacation?

Oh, no.
We're here spying on her husband

who's having an affair
with my girlfriend.

Mmm. We did that
very same story this season.

Really? I didn't see that.
When was it on?

Now. And don't forget to watch
the series finale next week.

Oh, I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

Unless, of course,
that's the night
I'm having my twins.

[whispering]
Oh, look at him, all by himself.

I feel like such an idiot.

Oh, that Niles.

He's so paranoid.

Honey?

Honey?

[screaming]

What the hell are you doing
in my bed?

What the hell are you doing
in my husband's bed?

Oh, I can't believe
the psychic was right.

How can he do this to me after
all we've been through to--

Meanwhile, where the hell is he?

We switched rooms.

Chester likes a terrace.

Oh, really?

Well, where is little Chester?

Oh, I left him with Max.
Sometimes that dog
can be a pain in the ass.

Why did you bring him?

Because he's my baby.

This is so weird.

I mean, the psychic told me
that Max was gonna end up in bed

with a sexy, blue-eyed blond
in California.

Your psychic thinks I'm sexy?

Something's wrong here.
I mean, besides the fact that

I just flew 3000 miles
to end up in bed with you.

Nanny Fine, I can understand
how you might not
trust me with Maxwell.

I mean, after all,
there were years of
unrequited love

and unfulfilled fantasies and...

Oh, shameless come-ons.

But eventually, he came to see
that he didn't have a chance
in hell with me.

So I'm guessing there's only
food left in the mini bar.

Nanny Fine,
you have nothing to worry about.

I found my man

and I am completely and totally

and multiply satisfied.

Really?

That is the joy of being
with a man who lives
to serve others, baby.

[squealing]

[whispers] Hey, Chester.

Somebody needs a waxing.

Let go.

You are not in Hollywood
two minutes,
and look at you already.

Would you mind telling me
what the hell the two of you
are doing in here?

My psychic saw you
in Beverly Hills, in bed,

wrapped in the arms
of a leggy blue-eyed blond.

-[gasps] It's you.
-It's me.

Oh, thank God.

-Your psychic thinks I'm leggy.
-Get out.

You know, it wouldn't kill you
to clip your toenails.

Hi, honey.
That's a funny coincidence.

I love California.
What do you think of it?

I find it arid.
My hair doesn't--

You flew 3000 miles

because some silly psychic
told you I was
about to have an affair?

Well, she wasn't totally wrong.

You were in bed
with a leggy, blue-eyed blond.

He scrubs my toilets.

I'm sorry, honey.
I know that Libby was wrong.

But if a sexy, blue-eyed
blond woman did come on to you,

you would tell her
that you're madly in love

with your big, fat, miserable,
moody wife, wouldn't you?

-Well, of course, I would.
-Mm-hmm-mmm...

You'd tell her I was fat?

Well, it's just, you know,

pregnant describes it.

Fat, I don't get.

I'm not fat, technically.

Um, Daddy, you remember
that time in your life

when you wanted to take
some time off
before you went to college?

No.

Well, that's where we differ.

Just what exactly
are you trying to tell me?

That you don't want to
go to college?

Yeah. I think I need to take
some time off
to figure out who I am.

You're Brighton Sheffield,
Harvard freshman.

Now you know.
See you spring break.

-Dad, I really need to do this.
-Absolutely not!

Come on, Dad.
What did your father say

when you told him you wanted to
get into theater?

Absolutely not.

-And did you listen to him?
-Absolutely... not?

-But I still went to college.
-Yeah, well, I'm not saying
I'm never gonna go.

I just want
a year off to travel.

I wanna backpack
through Germany.

I wanna see
the ancient city of Rome.

I wanna go to Paris
and eat cheese.

How do you propose to pay
for this cheese?

-Well, I can get a job.
-Oh, really?

And how do you
propose to do that

when you don't even
speak the language?

You're gonna do mime
on the streets of Paris?

You see how good I am?
You got it like that.

Oh, my God!

Do you know this? Do you know
your son isn't going to Harvard?

-No.
-Well, sure you did, Fran.

Come on, sweetie,
let's talk about this.

I know that you're upset.

But listen, he's just a kid.
What do you want him to do?

Twenty years from now, look back
on this time with regret?

Yes. I just don't want him
to make a mistake.

But it will be his mistake.

Look, didn't a lot of people say
you were making a mistake

when you hired me, but that
turned out good, didn't it?

It turned out good, didn't it?

Oh, yes, of course, it did.
Beyond my wildest dreams.

Sweetie, he'll be fine.

He's a smart boy.

He's got a good head
on his shoulders.

Would you happen to know
exactly what size that head is?

-Why?
-Well, when he was
going to Harvard

I was gonna show him my support
by buying him a Porsche.

Now I suppose I have to buy him
one of those berets

with the funny ball on top.

Oh, sweetie.

So tell me, where do you see me
20 years from now?

I see you
with a man in New York.

And this young guy in Paris.

And a jazz saxophonist
in Chicago.

That sounds good.

Are you an organ donor?

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]