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Hi. Welcome to
this Suicide Girls
Guide to Living.

I'm Rambo, and I'm here
with some of my fellow
Suicide Girls.

Friskie, Chloe,

Radeo, and Rigel,
our model coordinator.

And over the next hour and
a half we're gonna teach you
13 essential life lessons.

Everything from how
to roll a joint to
how to kill a vampire.

Some of you may know
us for our world famous
website suicidegirls.com.

Maybe you've seen
our first two movies,

the First Tour or
the Italian Villa.

Or you have something
from our clothing line.

For those of you who
are unfamiliar with us,

we've created a little
educational primer to get
you up to speed. Check it out.

Everywhere you look,
the same kind of beautiful's
been shoved down your throat

from every direction.
Magazines, movies,
television, and TMZ

show only the same
photocopy versions,

the same supposed
hot chick over
and over again.

That's them.
This is us.

Fed up with their
tired and predictable
definition of beauty,

we Suicide Girls are
dedicated to celebrate
an amazing and sexy woman

that failed to fit
in society's mold.

We do not strive to
be like everyone else,

but people said
it made us strange
or weird or screwed up.

Shut up!

We think it's what
makes us beautiful.

Together, we make up the
sexiest, most dangerous
global sorority

of beautiful pinup girls
that has every existed.

Now that you're a Suicide Girls
expert, we're gonna go straight
into our first lesson,

which is how
to cast a love spell
taught by Fractal,

who is very spooky
and witchy and Gothic,

so she's the perfect girl
to teach us this set.

It's a great lesson to know,
because sometimes if your
natural assets aren't working,

you can look for help
on the other side.

So, let's learn
our first lesson!

Take 25.
My tattoo.

Looks insane though.

I'm Bambu. I've been
a Suicide Girl for
about a month now.

[heavy metal music]

It took me about three years
to get the balls to do it,
and I'm so glad I did.

'Cause it's hard to find
places that will accept you
as a model with tattoos.

Many times people look
at me and like, "You're
not what we're looking for."

Or something like that.

I don't really enjoy
talking about them too much
'cause I get that all the time.

Like in a bar,
"Oh, you know,
nice tats."

And they expect you to tell
your life story and why you
have every single one.

But I will share it with you.
My first one is on my back
and I actually hate it.

That's the next thing
to get covered up.

But it's a fairy
'cause I'm kind
of a fairy.

Yeah, that really hurt.
When people tell me tattoos
don't hurt, they lie.

My next tattoo
was actually a
Michael Jackson tattoo.

But it's now covered up
because I get too many
little boy jokes.

But I love Michael Jackson.
I'm obsessed with the tattoo.
It's horrible.

There's a little bit
where you probably
can't even see it.

It's literally
like a cartoon.
A guy doing this.

It's pretty bad.
The jokes about it
where pretty bad, too.

"Where's the little
boy next to it?
Where's the piece?

I just got this
little leopard
print on my neck.

It's actually
the first tattoo
I got really drunk for

because I was not really
liking how that felt.

On my head too
it was really
very, very painful,

but it's my
favorite. I love it.

And then my face
it was actually a
really bold statement

and kinda freaks
people out, and
I like that shock value.

I was having a really
bad couple of weeks,
one thing after another.

Like horrible. It was
like, I'm jumping out
of an airplane

or I'm cutting off
my pinkie or something,

so I decided to get
my face tattooed.

My face and my head
definitely changes
the way people treat me.

I teach dance.

I can't even tell you
how many times l
walk into a job,

and I try to cover up
and turn down a little bit,
but there's no turning back.

They always kinda give me
a look and then I'll
talk and speak,

and they'll watch me
teach. The kids love it.

They really love how
colorful I am. "Nice
tattoo." They love it.

But it's always
the owner of places
that are, you know,

they're a little
held back, they don't
really want to say,

you know, their parents
are gonna freak out.

And then they get to know me
and they realize it's
really not a big deal,

it's not a big thing.
It's who I am.

And I just like
being colorful.

Really. And hopefully
opens their minds
a little bit, too,

'cause dance is an art,
you know, so why not
to look artful?

You know. You know!

Welcome back to the
Suicide Girls Guide
to Living.

I am Rambo, and that
was Fractal teaching
us the love spell.

That was so sexy.

So hot.

Yeah, she's so hot.
The next set we
are going to see

is how to do
the sun salutation
taught by James.

She is a lifelong
devotee of yoga.

She even went to India
for six weeks to study.

And so she came
and taught us all
how to do it.

Bambu, Zoli, Posh,
myself and James,

we spent some time
in a freezing cold
warehouse,

topless, no shoes.
Um, but it was
totally worth it.

So, let's check it out.

Thank you, Rambo.
So, I'm gonna show you
guys how to do some yoga.

And I have
my trustee assistants.

Zoli, Bambu,
Posh, and Rambo.

Prime conditions
for good yoga,

an empty warehouse
full of cameras
and cold.

Actually not.
It's really not
how you should do yoga.

But this is how
we had it today, so
this is what we're gonna do.

So let's go.

You wanna start
with your hands
in prayer position

right between
your boobs. Yep.

That's what I said.

Stretch up, arms
over your head.

Keep breathing.

Feel the stretch.

Bend at the waist
and put your hands
to the floor.

If you can't get your hands
all the way to the floor,
it's cool. Don't stress it.

When you're doing
naked yoga,

make sure your
friends are all
taking pictures of you,

because, you know,
that's just what you do
if you're a Suicide Girl.

You bring your
right leg back
and look up.

Keep your hands
on the floor.

And it's like
a lunge position.
It feels really good

when you get
the good stretch.

You're gonna bring
your left foot back
to meet your right foot.

You'll be in
plank position. You
wanna be kinda straight.

Keep your stomach
muscles tightened,

and your hips
and your back
all in one line.

You can lower down
to the floor.

Put your knees, your chest
and your chin on the floor.
It's pretty sexy.

Look up.

Keep your hands
on the floor where
your shoulders were.

And get that
good stretch.

Make sure you squish
the boobs whenever
you can.

So, downward facing dog's
pretty normal, pretty
basic. Everybody knows it.

Put your feet like
hip-distance apart,

and put your hands
about where your
shoulders are.

It feels really good
to keep it and hold it for
a long time if you want to.

Nice good stretch
on your legs
and arms.

Coming out of the lunge.
Bend at the waist.

Bring your head
kinda to your knees.

It's okay if you can't bend
all the way. Just as far
as you can get.

Bend at the waist
on the way up. Make
sure you support your back.

Keep your arms over your head.
You can put them in the prayer
position over your head.

And bring your hands back
to the prayer position,

right in between
the boobs.

The most important
thing to remember
when you're doing yoga

is to breathe.

The last and final step
of Suicide Girls yoga

is to take off
as many clothes
as possible.

Naked yoga is
always the best.

Also, get as many girl
friends with you
as possible

because it's always
a party when there's
naked yoga.

Don't forget to breathe,

even when you're naked.

To the average person,
the sun salutation doesn't
look like a lot of hard work,

but it's a really great
workout. You can do about
ten repetitions of it.

Make sure you do
the right and left side.

It's a really great workout.
You can do it anywhere.
You can do it at home.

And it's a good time.

Uh, this warehouse
was fucking freezing.

It was really cold,

and it took a long time
to do the yoga shots.

But it was good.
It was a fun time.
Definitely a good story.

How many people can really
say, "Hey, did a bunch of yoga
and naked in a warehouse

in Vegas with my friends
while they filmed it"?

Now it's all on DVD
and you can buy it.

Make sure you give
your best friend
a high five.

And there you go.
[laughs]

Hi. I'm James Suicide.
I've been a Suicide Girl
since 2004.

I'm gonna talk to you
about my tattoos.

A lot of people
ask me how many
tattoos I have.

And I can't really
tell you anymore.

The first tattoo
I got was on my back.

It since been changed,
but after that I just
kinda kept going.

And now when I look down at
myself, I don't actually
see them that much.

They're just kinda
normal to me.

My first big piece
was the sleeve.

It's all tiny
little pieces
from this one painter.

I picked all my favorite
pieces from his paintings,

and I just went ahead
and put them all there.

I have on my leg
a milk carton

that says
"bad choice" on it.

And it started as
a reference to the
movie Anchorman,

because there's a scene
where Ron Burgundy is
drinking milk in summer

and he says milk
was a bad choice.

It has nothing to do
with anything and
it's really funny.

So, I wanted to get
an Anchorman tattoo, so
I ended up getting that.

And then I realized,
before I actually got it,

that it also double
as a vegan tattoo
because I'm vegan,

which means l
don't eat any dairy.

I think that's the
tattoo that's gotten
the most attention

since being
on Suicide Girls.

I would say my most
recognizable tattoo is
the tattoo on my chest

of the moth. A lot
of people recognize
me because of it.

A lot of people say, "Yeah,
she's the girl with the tattoo
of the moth on her chest."

'Cause you can
always see it.

And I got it
about four or
five years ago now.

And I kinda wanted
an alternative
to a butterfly,

but I wanted
to do something
a little darker.

So I did the moth.

And it has thread
around the body,

and the wings are torn
but sewn together,

because I wanted it
to represent learning
from your mistakes

and being able
to keep going and
know you've made mistakes.

People always say,
"Oh, my God, what are you
gonna do when you're 80?"

But, uh, I'm just gonna
be just as wrinkled as
you when I'm 80,

and I'm gonna be
more interesting.

[heavy metal music]

So, what do you guys
think of the yoga set?

Damn!

That's some hot yoga.
Sign me up for that class.

Yeah. So now you guys
have learned how to
cast a love spell

and how to do the sun
salutation in yoga.

How to make your own
fight club is next.

That was actually shot in
the same warehouse which was
absolutely fucking freezing.

So cold, freezing.
Everybody else wore
winter jackets.

We're topless
and barefoot.

What about Pam?

That greased us up.
It made us look hot.

The only thing
about the cold was--

Headlights!

Sexy boobs!

So are you guys
ready to check it out?

All right.
How to start
your own fight club.

[girls shouting]

[no audible shouting]

[shouting]

[cheering]

[no audio]

I'm Evette Suicide.

I've been on Suicide Girls
since, uh, 2006.

None of my tattoos
really mean anything.

I get asked all
the time what my
tattoos mean. Nothing.

My first tattoo
I ever got was

this beauty.
[laughs]

I got it underaged
with, like, a note
from my mom,

which I very much
regret now.

I've never finished it.
I really wanna
cover it,

but I'm kinda friend's
with the guy that did it,
so I feel a little guilty.

I've been working
on this sleeve

for about two
and a half years.

It started with
just a half sleeve.

Um, this is a drawing
from my favorite artist,
uh, Jason Sho Green.

This is the
Morton Salt girl

which I got just
because I'm from Detroit,

and that's where the
Morton family lived.
I always wanted it.

I got this anchor
because anchors
are tough

and I wish
I was tough, so
I got an anchor.

These birds
on my neck

which I stole out
of a Hellboy comic.

I have these back seams
which are probably
other than my ribs

like, the most
beautiful tattoo
I ever got.

When you tattoo
the backs of your knees,

you cannot control
all your functions

and you're like just kinda
kicking. You look like
a ridiculous person.

When I first started
Suicide Girls I had,
other than this dragon,

I had just a
couple of outlines.

You can see I used
to just have this
outline of this heart,

and an outline of
Michigan. And I'm
pretty sure that was it.

It's kinda cool because
with a lot of the girls you
can see through their sets.

When they start
to, like, now.

You can kinda see the
progression and evolution
of their tattoos

which is really interesting
for the girls and the members
and for yourself.

It's like a back on.
It's kinda nice.

I would like
to get more tattoos

but it's kind
of a big expense.

Um, I really want
my shin tattooed.

I really want
Optimus Prime.

Also I'm kinda into like
the polar bear from Lost,

that was also
a freaky bear thing.

So, one tattoo
I get asked for a lot

is, um, I have a
200 on my thumb,

which is kind of
an embarrassing story.

I did a scavenger
hunt a couple of
holidays ago

around Hollywood.
That was like kind
of inappropriate.

Like have sex
in this graveyard and
make a picture of it.

Like give it a blow job
here and take a
picture of it.

And so I tried to do
the least dirty ones,

and I really thought
I was gonna win

because to get a real
tattoo was 200 points.

So, that's where
that came from,
but I came last.

So now I have 200
for no reason.

And that's it.

Fight club, wow,
you we pretty
tough, guys.

Yes, super tough.
Specially you.

You saw my mean face.

So we had Evette and Blaze
with their first fight, and
they're all lean and tough.

Then it was JoeLeigh
and Bunne. Man, she
got her ass kicked!

That was hard core.

We didn't put the rules in
because you know what's
a fight club.

So, we're gonna move on
and teach you how to
win a pillow fight,

which is me and
Radeo and Marianne.

Now, I didn't want
to be involved in
a pillow fight.

I was reading
my beautiful
Suicide Girl's book

and just hanging out
trying to get
some down time.

These assholes come up
and hit me right
in the face.

Let's check that out.

You guys stand up
and just kinda like
fight each other

and grab each
other's shirts.

Okay.

My name's
Radeo Suicide.

And I've been
a Suicide Girl
since April 08.

My first tattoo was
my toe on my foot.

It's my least favorite.
I just picked it
off the wall, so.

My second tattoo
was my whole back.

It took nine hours
total. It was two
four-hour sessions.

And then it wasn't
shaped correctly,

so I added another
hour or two to
shape the bottom.

It was probably my
most painful tattoo, too.

My most recent tattoo
is my phonograph

that I actually got
because of Suicide Girls.

My alias
homicide is Radeo.

My hobbies are like,
I like old-school cars.

I have a 66
Bel Air at home.

Um, I really, like,
Doo-Wop. I'm not really
into mainstream music

or anything like that.
So, I wanted an old
school radio.

Um, also the clock
on the phonograph.

It's at 4:30.
And that's one of my
first set got accepted.

My future plans for tattoos
is I'm actually gonna get
my throat and my neck.

There was a lyric from
a Johnny Cash song
called Walk the Line.

And it's, "The taste
of love is sweet when
hearts like ours meet."

I wanted something
more intricate than just
like lyrics on my chest.

So, what I'm actually
planning doing this
in about two weeks

it's a honeycomb heart
with honey dripping
down on it.

And there's a queen
and a king bee.

And all fit
all the way
up my throat.

Right here.
It wraps all
the way back.

I'm so excited.
I've been carrying
this sketch around

for probably two
weeks now showing it
and showing it off.

Really excited about it.

I think my favorite
tattoo that describes me

is my hopeless
romantic knuckles.

I got my knuckles done
before I got my arm done.
That's usually not the case.

Usually people fill up
their arms and have sleeves.
They're definitely my favorite

even though it's probably
my smallest tattoo
that I have.

I think you should
go big or go home.

Hi. I'm Radeo Suicide,
and this is Suicide
Girls Guide to Living.

And that was how
to win a pillow fight.

Which Rigel definitely
learned the hard way how
to lose the pillow fight.

You're an asshole.
You kinda grabbed my hair
and slammed me on the bed.

It started really cute
and then I was like--

Pull your hair.
Rough you up
a little bit.

I play by the rules.

That's tough love.
Tough love.

And then also that was,
um, me talking about
my tattoos.

That was shot a few months
ago, and I recently
got my throat done.

Now that's my most
painful tattoo. Not
my back anymore.

It's finished.

It is really pretty.

Thank you.

And you guys just
learned how to win
a pillow fight.

And now we're gonna go
on how to cure a hangover
with Sash and Mantis.

I think all of us would know
how to cure a good hangover.
I think we've all been there.

But mainly we decided
to do this to see Sash
in a maid's outfit.

Let's take a look.

[The Flies sing
The Temptress]

My name is Lyxzen, and
I've been a Suicide
Girl since 2005.

I've a lot of tattoos.
I'm old enough
to get them.

I just look
like I'm not.
[laughs]

So, the tattoo I'd say
I get the most questions
about is my texted sleeve.

I had questions
raging from, is
it a recipe?

To, is it instructions
on how to crash a plane?

Um, it's song lyrics,
a whole bunch of them,

and this is from
an album cover.

I love unfinished
tattoos as well.

This sleeve's unfinished.

My Price is Right
tattoo is unfinished,

my lower back piece,

and my chest
piece, of course.

Always a work
in progress.

I have started
so many tattoos,

and before they're
finished, started
other ones

because I'm
just impatient.

I have tattoo ADD
maybe. I don't know.

I just get impatient,
I don't know.

Future plans for tattoos,
oh, my gosh, they're
never ending.

I've got this chickadee
that's in progress
right now,

and I'm getting
a cardinal over here.

That's how I'm gonna
tie together a whole
bunch of birds.

I've gotta finish
this sleeve. Add
the background colors.

I've gotta finish
my back piece.

It's gonna be all
cartoon characters.
Space Ghost.

And my legs,
look at all this.
There's so much left.

I'm gonna be
filling up my legs
here with more lyrics,

because I have a list
of lyrics that I want
tattooed on me.

A lot of people
treat me differently

now that I've got
a lot of tattoos.

Ranging from obnoxious
questions about, what am
I gonna do when I'm older?

What am I gonna do
when I don't like
these bands anymore?

Honestly, it's life.
It marks a point
in my life

that I was really into
these tattoos, these bands,
these lyrics more importantly.

The theme about honesty,
I don't think I'm gonna
outgrow that.

A lot of people hit on
me in bars, thinking
I'm a bad girl.

Um, that I'm dirty
and naughty
and raunchy.

Something a little bit
different from what
they might be used to.

I'm a perfect prude, honestly.
Strange place for me to be
on Suicide Girls, but--

Hey, welcome back.
I'm Rigel.

And we just learned
how to cure a hangover
with Sash and Mantis.

And it works, right?

Yeah. The cucumbers,
the boobs, the whole thing.

Cure any ailment, really.

So now we're gonna
learn how to properly
prepare absinthe.

And this set features
three of our most
popular Suicide Girls.

First we have Posh.
She's kinda of a,

she's kind of a geek and she
holds down the fort for all
of us geek Suicide Girls.

She's into Doctor Who,
she's into sci fi,

and she posts
on Digg all the time.

Then we have Naya,
and she's adorable.

And got those
big brown eyes.

She's got her own little
shop. They sell books,

and little sweets
and pastries
and stuff.

And then we have Zoli.

She is a bad ass,
hot lesbian bombshell.

So, let's check out
how to properly
prepare absinthe.

[Ten City Nation
sing TDK 90]

Clap, clap, clap.

Thank you.
Avoid the red.

[voices overlap]

[laughter]

I am Rigel. I'm the
model coordinator
for Suicide Girls.

And I've been
in Suicide Girls
since 2006.

Probably there are
2,000 girls that
are Suicide Girls,

and I work with all of them,
and thousands more that
wanna be Suicide Girls.

Um, I don't really like
to talk about why l
got a lot of tattoos,

but I do like
to lie about it.

So, I have a sleeve
of birds. When anybody
asks me why,

I like to tell them that
because the first ballet
I was ever in

was Snow White and
the Seven Dwarfs. I was
too short to be a dwarf

and I had
to be a bird.

That's what I like
to tell people about
my bird tattoos.

Kind of embarrassing.

I never thought that
I would get big tattoos
or anything in color.

And I met my artist,
and now I have sleeves.

I remember
three years ago

when I was getting the backs
of my legs tattooed, which
are not even big tattoos,

Rigel came with me
and gave a two-hour,
well, not,

but a big long lecture
on how I would regret
those in my old age.

And I should never
get a big tattoo.

And I swear to God
the next month she came
into work with a half sleeve.

That's my whole story.
It was just funny.

I'm gonna go now.

It kinda bothers me
when people ask me
about my tattoos

and why I chose
to get certain
things, where, and--

Because, first of all,
I think that's personal.

And second of all,
maybe I got them
'cause they were cool.

My parents are really
not that into my tattoos.

But about a year ago,
they were like,

"Well, I think tattoos
are gross and dirty
and for sailors.

But yours are really
beautiful. They're
works of art.

So we're more accepting."
But every time I get a
tattoo, Mom's like,

"Again? What could
you possibly get?"

I'm like, there's
a lot left to cover.

Hi. Welcome back.
I'm Rambo.

And that was how
to prepare absinthe

with Zoli, Naya
and Posh. Don't
they look beautiful?

Yeah. Absinthe is a
pretty strong stuff.

Um, next we're going
to learn how to
ditch a wedding.

I have never been
married before,

but apparently I know
how to ditch a wedding
very well.

I convinced everybody
let me do this set

'cause I thought l
look great in a dress.

It was actually really,
really fun. We got to stay
at the Hard Rock Hotel.

If you guys ever go
to Vegas, you should
definitely stay there.

They were so nice.
They put us up.

Then we filmed the set
running through the casino.

So many people that
was round would say,
"Oh, congratulations."

It was hilarious.
So I just went
along with it.

We had a really,
really good time.

This is how
to ditch a wedding.

[Cheba-Ken sings
What do we do now?]

Squeeze it in.

Yeah, that was
so fun.

So cute.
You get the
hell out of there.

Oh, Kiefer.

Hi. I'm Kiefer Suicide.

And I became a Suicide
Girl probably about
six months ago.

Have a few tattoos.

This is my first
tattoo. It means faith.

I think they threw
an extra symbol in
there, but that's okay

because it looks
like a smiley face.

Maybe some day I'll
get it covered up.
Probably not.

This one was my souvenir
from my trip to L.A.

Most of the tattoos
on this arm were
done in Pittsburgh

at Cyclops Tattoo
in the south side.

Works with skulls.
So I got a sugar skull.

This swan is a fresh
cover up that I just
had done.

It's actually
from the painting
by Mariella Garcia.

This whole sleeve is
gonna be like a piece
that she did.

And then the lower half
is gonna be another
piece that she did

with a woman riding
on a white, um,

a white swan
down here crying.

It's really morbid
looking. It's good stuff.

I don't wanna give it away.
I don't wanna totally
get my idea away.

I'm a secret tattoo
girl, you know.

My fascination
for skulls and
blood and gore

is because
I'm a freak.

Here's an eye
right here.

This is a Buddhist
love knot.

And this one
on my lower back,
"l am what I am."

Um, everyone thinks
that it's for Popeye.

It's totally not
for fucking Popeye.

I have no idea

why anyone would think
that l, you know,

I'm a big Popeye fan,
but I'm truly not.

And then I have
my swallow right here.

I have a lot of plans
for this guy right here.

I plan to like shoot
him with an arrow.

And then I want the blood
to run down my side.

And I want to be like
really realistic looking.

[no audio]

Welcome back.
That was Kiefer.

Now Kiefer is gonna
be showing us how
to roll a joint

in a couple
of segments
coming up.

And believe me,
Kiefer really knows
her reefer.

But now we're
gonna go onto Ajilee.

Now, um, it's like,
you know, I was
makeup artist

for this
awesome gig.

And part of my job
was to cover up
some bruises,

like hand marks
and slap marks.

And bite marks, too.

And needless to say,
Ajilee just got a brand
new boyfriend,

and, um, I hope
to get that kind
of love into.

So, here we go
on how to fake
an orgasm.

That's how you fake
and orgasm, bitches.

[girls laugh]

Hi. I'm Chloe Suicide.

It's gotten so much more
popular in the last
couple of decades,

that now it's
a fashion thing.
It's cool.

But I think originally
tattoos just meant
I'm tough.

And I have this lifestyle
that other people
don't understand,

and like--

And I'm gonna
sound like a total
dick right now,

but there's a lot
of questions that
people always ask.

Same fucking question.
Number one.

Don't ask me if
they fucking hurt.

Stranger walking.
"Does that hurt?"
Yes. It hurt.

Number two. How
many tattoos
do you have?

I don't know.
Is this one?

Is this whole thing one?
Do I count each drop?
I don't fucking know.

Three. Where do you
get your work done?

Why? You want me
to write it down?

Are you going to go there
and get some work done
today? Probably not.

Four. I guess it's
not so much a question,

but when somebody that
I don't know comes up
to me and says,

"Oh, I've gotta get
an eagle shitting
on top of a tree.

And with a lizard
coming out. I'm gonna
get my butt."

I don't give a fuck
what you're gonna get.
I don't know you.

I don't care what
you had for breakfast.

I don't give a shit what
your underwear looks like,

and I don't care what
tattoo you're planning
on getting.

Next time you see
a hot tattooed
chick anywhere

and you feel like starting
a conversation with her
asking her about her tattoos,

don't.

Jeez, Chloe,
kinda rude.

No, I'm just
being honest.

Tell us when you wanna
see their fucking tattoos

or what they had
for fucking breakfast.

I don't tell people,
I'm just telling everyone
what's happening in my head.

[laughter]

Finally she speaks
what she's thinking
this whole time.

Um, we're gonna go
into the how to roll
a joint set

with Kiefer, Lanie,
Radeo and myself.

Which I think
every girl should
know how to do.

Uh, roll a proper joint.
We're gonna check out
Kiefer's page

on Suicide Girls.

She's just
the cutest ever.

This is her profile
and a bunch of
her sets.

This is one of the more
recent ones she did
with Cherry

while we were in
Vegas on her shoot.

So, if you guys are ready
to get silly, let's check
out how to roll a joint.

Rolling a fatty.
Take one.

[Goldishack Gerrillas
sing "Bulldozer"]

Oh. Hey.

Welcome back.

[girls laugh]

She's gonna teach you
how to kill a vampire.

Ooh!
Contact high.

Um, hi. We're gonna
teach you how to
kill a vampire now.

[Pigface sings
Mercenary]

Welcome back.
I'm Rigel.

And you're watching
the Suicide Girls
Guide to Living.

I was just checking
my email because,
as I said before,

I'm the model coordinator
for Suicide Girls.

All the girls that
wanna be Suicide Girls,
are going to the process

and trying to figure
it out, they come to me.

What is the process
of becoming a Suicide
Girl? We should explain it.

Good idea.
Let's show everybody.

You go to suicidegirls.com.
Gonna click on Model at
the top of the page.

At the bottom
of the page is
the application.

You're gonna give us
your first and
last name,

your email address
to get in touch with you,

phone number,
your address,

your birthday. You're
gonna tell us why you
wanna be a Suicide Girl.

You're gonna upload
a couple of pictures.
Then you wanna click Apply.

Once you submit
your application,
it goes to me.

I'm gonna either
accept it or decline it.
Hopefully I accept it.

If you have any questions,
you should totally check
our FA Q.

In this box where it
says Need Help, you
can click on

and check out the FA Q.
It'll bring up tons
of questions

that are going to help
guide you through
the application.

We set you up with your
Model page in here. You're
gonna see all your info.

You can change your
pictures that we see.

And then we need
a couple of things
from you.

We're gonna need
two forms of I D,

a model release,
a W9 if you live
in the US,

a photo set,
a photo release,
and a profile.

On your Model page,
you'll see ten of our
favorite sets on the site.

They're good examples
of what your photo
set should be like.

We list any staff photographers
in your area on the bottom
of your Model page.

If you wanna work with one
to shoot your photo set,
just click on Contact

and get in touch with them.
Once you shoot your
photo set,

you send them to us, and we
put them in an area of the
site called Member Review.

These are all of the
girls trying to become
Suicide Girls.

Our members give us feedback
and if you're a huge hit,
you become a Suicide Girl.

All right.
So that's how you
become a Suicide Girl.

Probably get back to the
movie, so next step
is how to tie a tie,

and Soya is gonna
teach us. Let's
check it out.

This movie involves
a lot of bouncing.

[heavy metal music]

Do you need
some help there?

Sure I do.

Okay.

So this is how
you tie a tie.

You gotta make sure
your legs are right.

You want the skinny one
a little bit shorter.

Over once.

Then over twice.

A loop through
near your chin.

And then back through
this front little loop.

And that's how
you tie a tie.

This goes over here
or under, like--

[laughs]

That looks
really good.

I am a handsome man.

Perfect.

Ace.

Thank you for
the lesson, Soya.

I think I got it,
kind of.

I'm Chloe.
Welcome back.

The lesson that we're
teaching you is how
to do a striptease.

I'll be the one
teaching you
this lesson,

and the lady that I have
the pleasure of lap
dancing for us, Vice,

who was so fucking hot
that my legs were shaking.

But I think I managed
to pull it off. So,
let's see.

[whispers]
This is some
really good footage.

[laughter]

[The Lost Levels
sing Never the First]

You should know
a lot of things
before you get a tattoo.

You should know a lot
about your artist.

You should look through
their portfolio. Talk
to them about pricing.

Make sure that this
is an artist that isn't
gonna screw you over.

Someone should know
before they get a tattoo

that you should not
get a Chinese symbol.

Or something like
picked off the wall.

Something that means
something to you, or
totally random,

but make it your
own, original.

Find an artist.
Find someone that
you like their work,

otherwise you're gonna
end up with something
you don't like.

Make sure it's good art.
The one I got on my back,
I didn't know about good art.

There're amazing
artists out there.

I actually drew it
and he just slapped it on.

His name was
Tattoo "Fucking" Dave.

And, yeah, just get
a really good artist.

And make sure your
idea is original.

There doesn't really
have to be a reason
behind it.

If you can live with it
for the rest of your life,
then do it. Totally do it.

Wow. Chloe.
Oh, my goodness.

That was so hot.

It's a really important
life lesson, and I'm
definitely gonna do that.

Every woman needs
to know how to do
a good striptease.

The two of you together
make a mind blowing team.

All right. So, we're
on our last lesson,

so let's recap what
we've learned so far.

First we learned how
to cast a love spell.

How to do a sun
salutation in yoga.

How to start your
own fight club.

How to win
a pillow fight.

How to cure a hangover.
How to prepare absinthe.

How to ditch a wedding.

How to fake an orgasm.
How to roll a joint.

How to kill
a vampire.

How to tie a tie.
And how to do
a striptease.

The last lesson
we're gonna teach you

is how to get girls
to skinny dip in
your pool.

This is very important.
You're definitely gonna need
it at some point in your life.

Opaque is gonna teach us
how to do that. She
is from Ohio.

She's vegan.
She's a super
sexy environmentalist.

She's got these beautiful
red dreads and piercing
blue eyes.

She's definitely the girl
you wanna learn this
lesson from.

I think we're gonna
let us take this out.
So, I'm Rigel.

Rambo.

Radeo.

Chloe.

Friskie.

Thank you
for watching our
educational movie.

Hopefully you liked it.
Come to suicidegirls.com
and send us a message,

and tell us what you
would like to learn

and we'll teach you
in our next video.
Bye.

Bye! Thanks for watching.

Can you pop
the booty out
a little bit more?

You think? Yeah.

[Holy Hail sing
Cool Town Rock]

[inaudible]

[laughter]

[Her Space Holiday
sing The Telescope]