All language subtitles for Oh.Crappy.Day.2021.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

When I say go, turn your head
towards him and smile adoringly.

Are you sure?

I know it sounds cheesy,
but trust me, it'll look great.

Super romantic.

And go.

Very nice.

Now put your head
back where it was.

Now hold it. Yes, right there.

I'm getting a smidge
of shadow on her face,

Can you adjust the light for me?

Perfect. Thank you.

Okay, Is everybody ready?

Now start turning your head.

Perfect.

A little more smile.

A little more Dory.

Perfect, perfect.

That was perfect.

Y'all can relax for a second.
Just don't move.

What do you think?

- Do you wanna take a look?
- Definitely.

Oh, Ryan, you look so good.

I'm so glad we waited.

We have a few
more setups in here

and then we'll try
some stuff outside.

Snows like they're predicting,
we'll get some

- really cool footage.
- Oh, excellent.

I never thought
I'd have a winter wedding.

But now that we're here,

I couldn't be happier.

We were going to get married
in June, you know,

originally, but,

we had some work to do.
Didn't we, hun?

When Ryan first proposed to me

I told him we had to lose
15 pounds for the wedding

for photos and video and...

it took him a while
but he did it.

I'm so proud of him.

See, there's worst things
to being single.

You could marry
someone like Cruella.

Why would he put up with that?

Did you see Cruella?

Yeah, but you know,
he's a good-looking guy.

He could get somebody else
just as pretty. No problem.

She must do
something special for him.

Please, every woman
does something special.

Well, maybe
but not the same something.

Meghan does something special
just for you, doesn't she?

Of course, she does.
She's perfect for me.

But,

she's not the only Meghan
in the world.

I'm with this Meghan
because she's the one

I stumbled across.

Oh. Such a romantic.

Look. It's not like
I'm on the prowl. I mean,

why would I want another Meghan
when I've already got mine?

Have you shared
this philosophy with her?

Of course not.

There's honest
and there's stupid.

Remember that when
you write in your profile.

I think I've got
a pretty good start already.

Oh, yeah. What do you say?

I say
"I'm an aspiring filmmaker,

a storyteller who wants
to make people think".

What's wrong with that?

Women don't want
a guy that makes them think.

And don't say aspiring.

You might as well
just say unemployed.

What should I say then?

I'm a filmmaker
and leave it at that?

Actually, filmmaker
sounds kind of la-di-da.

Just say you make movies.

Well, that's not entirely true.

I haven't made any yet.

What are you talking about?
You work on movies all day long.

They're not really movies,
they're videos.

You made movies in school,
didn't you?

Those don't count.
Those are just student films.

What difference does it make?

The women reading your profile
aren't going to be critics.

But I want to be accurate.

Okay.

Well, let's just say
you work in a studio,

which is true.

I work in a studio.

I work in a studio.

I work in a studio.

Okay.

So what else you got to say?

I'm looking for somebody
who is intelligent,

and funny,
with a good imagination.

Don't say intelligent,
say smart.

And please put that thing away.

We got to get going on
your photo.

I told Meghan
we pick her up at seven.

Okay, Jared, eye's over here.

You're looking kind of slouchy,
throw your shoulders back.

But that isn't how I sit.

I noticed it, which is why
you look slouchy.

But I don't want
to seem too stiff.

I want to seem relaxed.

Why are you being so difficult?

I'm only asking you
to pose a little.

You ask people
to pose every day.

Yeah, but I want to be myself.

No, you don't.

You want to put
your best foot forward.

Now do you shoulders?

Much better. Now smile.

Alright, you can go back
to being yourself now.

How do they look?

I just need to make
a few adjustments.

Don't move.

What does that mean anyway?

What does what mean?

Put your best foot forward.

Isn't one foot pretty much
the same as the other?

Not if you lose a toe.

- When you have to have...
- Shoulders.

- You have...
- Smile.

lots of people losing their toes
for someone to make it a thing.

Wouldn't you?

That's a good question, Jared.

Why don't you save
that for your first date?

See, you're joking, but,

I've already made a list.

A list of questions?

Yeah, so I don't run
out of things to say.

You not gonna read
from that are you?

No, of course not.
It's just for reference.

I'll bet.

Listen, Jared, this isn't gonna
work if you sound too scripted.

Women like a guy
whose spontaneous,

a guy who thinks on his feet.

What is it with you
and feet today?

Hey, guys,
how did the photo shoot go?

Pretty well. I think.

He nailed it.
This man was born to model.

That makes two of you then.

Oh, you see why
she's perfect for me.

I do.

You ready, babe?

There's a few things
I need to wrap up.

So give me like, nine minutes.

Okay, not eight, not 10,
but nine. Got it.

We'll be over there waiting.

I'm sure you'll find
some way to occupy yourselves.

In the library.

What's in a library
to keep us occupied?

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Here let me help you.

You all right?

I'm fine.

I'm good.

I'm so, so sorry.
I hope I didn't hurt you.

No, I'm good.

I'm fine.

Katie.

What's going on?

This guy got hit
by a tidal wave.

- Huh?
- She ran into him.

No, no, it wasn't her fault. I.

I wasn't looking.

You are so sweet to say that.

I guess I should introduce you
two then.

This is our friend Jared.
And this is Katie.

She works
in special collections.

- Hello.
- Hi.

We've got to
stop meeting like this.

Oh, yeah.

Would you excuse me
for a minute?

You sure you all right?

You all enjoy yourselves.

So what do you think
about Katie?

Who?

Katie, the girl
you just bumped into?

Oh, you mean the girl
who bumped into me?

Yes, Jared.

But anyway, she said
I could give you her number.

Seriously?

Seriously?

Yes. Seriously.

Are you interested?

I don't know.

Why, don't you think she's cute?

Oh, yeah, she's cute, but,

she seems a little

too much.

- Jared.
- Plus,

I've already got
a plan for dating.

- Having a plan is...
- It helps me,

having a plan.

Look. I haven't done like,

a ton of dating, so,

it gives me
a little more control

- over the process.
- Okay. You can at least...

And I've already
written my profile.

I got my head shots.

I don't like to start things
without finishing.

On that note, I think
I need to start something.

You know,

I was reading about this thing
called exposure therapy.

It's very interesting.

You force yourself
to do the actions,

I guess that make
you feel anxious.

I know what it is.

Have you tried it?

Maybe it'll help.

Having a plan,

that's what helps.

Not bad.

I know. Right.

Have you talked to her yet?

Well, not technically,
we've been

sending messages back and forth.

You boys knocking it up?

- Oh, yeah.
- What you working on?

The Brady wedding.

How's it looking so far?

So far so good.

Okay, then.

So, What's she like?

She seems really nice.

When you gonna
meet her in person.

I don't know.

You haven't asked her out?

We're taking it slow.

You mean you're taking a slow?

Look, I've never done
this before.

I don't know
what the protocol is.

How long do we chat until
we're supposed to meet?

A week?

Two weeks? Three?

You chat I guess
until you feel comfortable.

That's great.

Except,

when have I ever felt
comfortable?

You know what?

Just ask her to lunch.

That's a lot less pressure
than dinner you know.

You just got to find
someplace nice.

I know where you can go.

Cafe Luna. Cafe Luna is perfect.

I've never been there.

It's really cool.
You'll love it.

What's her name?
Denise will love it.

Oh, what about Hayes Barton?

Couldn't we go there?

No, no.

You need a place
that's more contemporary.

You want this girl
to be impressed.

I prefer to go
someplace familiar.

That way, I'm not so nervous.

I get what you're saying.

But Hayes Barton's
a little old-fashioned.

With all the old movie posters
and movie stars everywhere.

I thought you
liked Hayes Barton?

I do. I'm just saying
for a first date,

Cafe Luna is better.

Are the bathrooms clean?

Yes, their bathrooms are clean.

Extremely clean.

You won't even need your wipes.

You're not going to
bring your wipes, right?

Okay, then.

We've established that Cafe Luna
has clean bathrooms.

Anything else?

What about pagers?

What about them?

Do they give you a pager
when you come in?

I don't know,
maybe, what doesn't matter?

If they give me a pager
when I come in,

that's an extra trip to
the bathroom to wash my hands.

I'm trying to keep
my hand washing to a minimum.

You got a point.

If you're there for lunch,

they won't be handing out pages,
won't be crowded enough.

Trust me, you'll be fine.

Jared?

You must be Jared?

I must.

- And you must be Denise?
- Yes.

Well, I'm glad to meet you.

- Same here.
- In person.

- Um, would you?
- Sure.

Hi. We'd like
a table for two, please?

It'll be a minute.

We're pretty backed up today.
I don't know why.

Hopefully it's the food.

You want me to put
your name on the list?

Sure.

So what's your name?

Ah, Wilde.

What's that again?

Wilde.

Like a wild animal.

With an E at the end, though.

Thanks.

And here we are.

Here we are.

Phew.

I can't believe
how cold it's been.

Oh, I know.

So?

You work in a bank? Right?

What do you do there
at the bank?

I'm a loan officer.

Oh. So.

I'm a little short on
cash right now.

Not a problem.

In fact,
I could help you finance

your next big production.

Well, that's a ways off yet.

I still got to
finish film school.

I thought you told me you worked
at a movie studio?

Did I mix things up?

Well, no, I work at
a videography studio.

I'm sorry. I did mix things.

It's okay, I, I
should have been clearer.

So you're working there
while you go to film school?

Until I go back to film school.

Okay. I think
I've got it straight now.

I knew you mentioned
making movies.

Yeah. It's always
been a dream of mine.

That's really great
doing what you love.

So tell me,
what's your favorite movie?

It's hard to say.

I've got lots of favorites.

Yeah, different films
and different genres.

Okay. Well,
what's your favorite comedy?

Ed Wood.

I don't think
I've seen that one.

That's a Tim Burton film,
it's from 1994.

Doesn't sound familiar.

No, I bet you'd like it.

The black and white
cinematography is amazing.

And what's your favorite drama?

Uh, Barry Lyndon.

I don't know that one either.

Stanley Kubrick, 1975.

I don't really watch
a lot of old movies.

Oh.

Are there any out now
that you like?

Nothing lately.

Is there one
that you can recommend?

Well, I really liked the one...

- They calling us.
- Oh.

Good.

Enjoy your meal.

So what looks good to you?

I'm sorry, what?

What do you think looks good
on the menu?

Oh, right.

Um.

It all looks good.

I'm thinking
of having the ravioli.

Maybe,

I think I'll get,

the same thing.

Great minds or stomachs.

How is everyone today?

My name is Rene.

Have y'all been here before?

Oh, in that case, welcome.

Do you have any questions
about the menus?

Actually, I think
we're ready to order.

We're both gonna
have the ravioli.

And to drink?

I'll have the ginger ale.

Iced Tea, unsweet.

Great.

I'll get those orders in and be
back with your drinks.

Thanks.

Could you excuse me
for a minute?

That menu had
a little something sticky on it?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

I see we got our drinks.

Yes.

So banking.

How did you get started in that?

I really just grew up around it.

My grandpa ran
a little finance company

and my dad's
a bank president. So,

it's kind of in my blood.

Really?

Actually, my first summer job
was in my dad's bank,

I was a teller
in the drive-thru.

I thought banking would
be a good career for me.

I mean, my dad
was able to give us

a pretty comfortable life.

Ah-huh.

And what about you?

How did you get interested
in making movies?

Just by watching a lot of them.

Ah.

Is there anything else
I can get you guys?

Could I get another knife?

Actually another
set of utensils.

Oh, yuck, I'm so sorry. I'll get
you another set right away.

Thanks.

Hope you don't mind.
Would you excuse me again?

Dammit.

So.

Where were we?

Hey, how'd it go?

I think it went pretty well.

How did it really go?

Like I said, pretty well.

How many trips to the bathroom?

Just two.

Okay, three.

I had to wash my hands
after we finished eating.

Did she ask you
why you kept leaving?

No.

She probably thought
you had the runs.

The first time I went
I told her the menu was sticky.

Oh, good. She only thought
you pooped two times.

I don't think she thought that.

She seemed fine
when we said goodbye.

What she say exactly?

She said she had a nice time.

Everyone says that.

Not everyone.

Everyone on every date
that ever was or will be.

So are you going
to go out again?

I'm not sure.

What do you mean you not sure?

I was about to ask her

and then she started talking
about her schedule.

You mean like how busy it is?

I bet it got a lot busier
when you were in the bathroom.

Wow.

I mean, the last one is pretty
and all but this one.

I know.

Are you sure
she's seen your photo?

"Haha".

What she do?

She works for an energy company.

Wow. Maybe she'll be energetic.

I think she's a lobbyist.

Ah-oh. That means
she's used to fine dining.

You have to take
her somewhere fancy.

So in other words,
not Hayes Barton.

You just want to go there
because they don't have pages.

It's not why. I like the food.

And it's comfortable.

The food's comfortable?

No, I am.

Isn't that the point,
to relax and be yourself.

The last thing you want
to be is yourself.

Gee, thanks.

You know I'm right.

You should go to Shay Shannon.

It's fancy
and the food's really good.

And the bathrooms are spotless.

Excuse me.

Are you Taylor?

I guess you're Jared?

You look different
from your photo.

Oh.

Different good or different bad?

Just different.

Oh. Well,

you look just like your photo.

Oh, God. Don't say that.

I hate my photo.

I need to redo it.

There's one thing I've learned.

No one likes the way they look.

What?

You said you hated your photo.

Oh, yeah.

I hear that all the time.

You know, at work.

I,

I think I told you I work
at a videography studio.

We do videos.

Oh, yeah. Anything I've seen?

Um, I doubt it.

We do corporate jobs
every now and then, but,

most of our business
is weddings.

Is that something
you want to do forever?

Oh, no.

But it lets me stay
in practice as a filmmaker.

That's what I want to do
in the long run, make films.

I guess you can
make money doing that.

Eventually.

If you're lucky.

Most of its knowing
the right people.

Which I don't so far.

Hey, guys.

I'm Rick, your rumble server.

Have either of you
been with us before?

What do you recommend?

Oh, you should try
the crab cakes. They're awesome.

I love crab cakes.

Well this is
your lucky day then.

Anything to drink?

Can I get a glass
of mineral water?

Of course.

And for you?

I will have
the iced tea, unsweet.

And the steak salad.

Excellent choice.

Anything else?

My...

Do you mind if I...
I'll be right back.

I'm back.

Yes, you are.

So,

you work as a lobbyist?

Never met a lobbyist before.

What's that like?

It's really very boring.

Can we talk
about something else?

Sure. Um.

What do you,
what do you do for fun?

I don't know.
It depends what mood I'm in.

Do you like movies?

Ever see the ones they
show at the history museum?

They do the series once a month

where they show a classic film.

Last month it was
Days of Heaven.

I don't know that one.

Terrence Malick, 1978.

Anyways,

this month they're going to be
showing Vertigo.

Alfred Hitchcock.

I don't know him. Sorry.

What are you doing?

Would you excuse me again?

Ah?

- Oh, wow.
- Just got this last week.

- You did?
- Yeah.

- Was it scary?
- It's tender still.

You boys
have a good night.

I was telling Meghan
about your latest misadventure.

Great.

Well, it might be great, she
says Katie is still interested.

In me?

No, in chaos theory,
of course in you.

Apparently, she asked
about you again.

Really?

So what do you say?

I don't know.

I don't really
know much about her.

You know she's cute. You know
she thinks you're cute.

That's half
the battle right there.

Yeah. But the whole point
of being online is,

I know a lot about the person
before I meet them in person.

And how's
that worked out so far?

I'm not saying
give up on your plan.

It's a good plan.

This is just another option.

- Hey, babe.
- Hey.

Hey, Jared.

- Hey.
- I was telling him about Katie.

- And?
- The jury's still out.

Why?

He wants to know her better.

What do you want
to know?

She's very sweet. Very smart.

But also kind of goofy.
Which is perfect for you.

You think I'm goofy?

No, I think you're
not goofy enough.

You need some goofy
in your life.

You didn't tell her about my...

No, that's not for me to share.

- Okay.
- Okay?

I'll ask her out.

Yes. Good.
Where are you gonna go?

Baby. Give me a second
to think about it.

Well, I'd like to go
to Hayes Barton.

Why don't you?

He doesn't think
it's right for a first date.

Hayes Barton is perfectly fine.

What's the matter with you?

I'm used to dealing
with demanding women.

Well, if I'm so demanding
then why am I with you?

Oh, you know why.

Hey, Marcus.

Hey, how's it going?

Okay, I guess?

You getting ready?

Ah-ha. Yeah.

You getting excited?

Yeah.

Not too excited though, right?

No, not too excited.

Cause you don't want
to freak her out?

No, I don't.

I won't.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

You know it get worse
when you nervous.

I'm not getting nervous.

I'm excited. I'm just
the right amount of excited.

That's good.

Because Meghan will kill me
if you freak her out.

I won't freak her out.

Just try a little harder
this time. You know.

Keep it on the down low.

I think that means
something different.

The only thing it means
is don't embarrass us.

I'll do my best.

- You know what?
- What?

Forget what I said.

Just relax and have a good time.

Like a normal person?

Yeah, like a normal person.

Hello again.

Hello.

Have you recovered?

- From?
- Your injuries?

Oh, yes. Yes, I'm, I'm fine.

That's a relief.
I promised no more collisions.

I will keep a safe distance.

Huh.

Would you like to go inside?

I think that's a marvelous idea.

Seems like a popular place.

Yeah, it is pretty busy today.

I guess that means
the food is good.

Oh, yeah.

Which is good for me
because I'm starving.

Oh, hey, good to see you.

Table for two?

Yes.

Wilde, right?

All right, then.

I'll give you a shout
as soon as we free up a table.

Thanks.

You must come here a lot.

Yeah, with Meghan
and Marcus usually.

Meghan says you went
to film school?

Actually, I started
a film school while ago.

I've been saving up to go back.

I imagine it's pretty expensive,
film school?

Oh, yeah.

Sounds like you're
committed though.

I don't like to start something
without finishing.

- So.
- Oops.

You must think
I'm a total klutz, but,

really, I'm not.

I mean, I've managed
to run special collections.

You're the one in charge?

Don't sound so surprised.

- Oh, no, I didn't mean that.
- Garnett?

And you? You, sir.

Yes.

I bet you want to be a director?

I do.

That would be amazing.

Telling your story
to the world or stories.

You like movies then?

I love movies.
I'm one of those people

who stay all through
the credits.

I guess we were meant to be.

I guess.

So what kind of movies
do you want to make?

Well, I...

Wilde?

I think we have a table.

Wasn't so long to wait.

Not really, no.

You've been here before.
So what do you recommend?

Ah. Everything really.

I'll have everything then.

Welcome to Hayes Barton.
My name is April.

Can I start you off
with some drinks?

I don't see green tea.
Do you have green tea?

No, just sweet and unsweet.

In that case,
I'll get the unsweet

but I don't see any
of the pink packets?

I think we're out.
Do you still want to unsweet?

Yes, that's fine.

- And for you, sir?
- Unsweet.

I'll get those
for you and be right back.

Sorry about the sweetener.

Luckily. I come prepared.

Planning ahead. I like that.

Thank you.

So what does
a future director eat?

I think I'm getting the salmon.

Salmon's a nice fish. You never
have to worry about bones.

That's very true.

Then again,
the Greek salad looks good.

Have you had that?

Once or twice? It is good.

Are ya'll ready to order?

- Yes, we are.
- What do you have?

I'll have
the Greek salad, please.

- And for you?
- The salmon.

Anything else?

Let me get those out
of the way for you.

Thank you.

Could you excuse me?

There was something
sticky on the menu.

Sure.

Hey, Jared.

How ya doing?

Hey, Brandon.

I haven't seen you in forever.

What you've been up to?

Just working.

Hanging out. You know?

And whose this?

This is Katie.

This is Brandon, a friend
of mine from film school.

Did you ever finish?

Ah. No. Not yet.

I'm gonna though.

That's great.

Are you in film?

No, I'm in books.

Librarian.

Oh.

Okay.

I don't want to
keep you all day.

It's good seeing you.

- Nice to meet you, Katie.
- Nice to meet you too.

He seems nice.

Yeah. Um.

We had

a class together the last
semester I was in there.

Digital editing.

That must be so much fun,

like doing a big jigsaw puzzle.

It's. Yeah, a lot of fun.

You must watch a lot
of old movies for inspiration.

Oh, yeah.

I like the old ones best,
the ones today are just...

I don't know.

Exactly.

So, who's
your favorite director?

I'm sorry, what?

Who's
your favorite director?

Ah, Stanley Kubrick.

Oh, he did 2001, right?

Yeah, he did.
And also, Barry Lyndon.

I've never seen that one.

I have to put it on my list.

You've got to list?

All the movies I need to see.

Oh, well,

anything by Kubrick I would
definitely recommend.

What do you like
about his movies?

Well, they're
all very meticulous.

Everything
is perfectly composed,

like a painting.

But there's still
all this life underneath.

Here's some bread for you.

Everything all right so far?

Would you, um, excuse me again?

- Sorry.
- It's okay.

The foods not here yet.

Oh.

As long as we're waiting,
I might as well go too.

I'll be right back.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

So, I forgot where we were?

You were talking
about Stanley Kubrick.

Oh, yeah.

You were saying something
about life in his movies.

Exactly.

The life beneath
the perfect visuals.

You mean,
like the messiness of life.

I hadn't thought of it
like that. But, yeah.

You're very perceptive.

I read a lot.

Let's see now,
you had the salmon.

And you had the salad.

- This has been fun.
- It has.

- I'm glad we did this.
- Me too.

Would you like to do this
some other time?

I think I would.

Great.

Well, maybe we could do um...

I'd love to see a movie with you

to get your critical response.

There's a movie
showing this Friday

at the history museum.

You have heard of
Alfred Hitchcock, haven't you?

Well, yeah. Who hasn't.

It went really well. I didn't
freak her out, like at all.

- Seriously?
- Seriously.

No, freaking out.

How many times
did you go to the bathroom?

Twice.

But Katie went once herself, so,

I only went one more
time than she did.

You keeping score now.

The main thing is
we're going out again.

So she couldn't have been

too bothered by my trips
to the bathroom.

Well, if that's the case,
then I'm happy for you.

I'm even happier for me because

Meghan's been
sweating bullets over this.

Am I that bad?

You are but we love you.

Avast ye, matey.

Shiver me timbers.

That's all
the pirate talk I know.

- That's plenty.
- Oh, wait. One more.

Fare thee well.

Very well, thank you.

Shall we?

I'm so excited.

This is the first time I've
seen Vertigo on the big screen.

The way it was meant to be seen.

Oh, I know.

I like to watch
old movies on TV,

but it's just not the same.

You don't really get the magic.

I wish I could see
them all this way.

Fortunately, they
show every month here.

That's wonderful. I'm glad
they've got a program like this.

Two adults, please.

Exact change. Thank you.

Can you hold on to these?
I want to use the bathroom

- before the movie starts.
- Sure.

Are you ready to go in?

I am.

You know what's weird?

I've never seen a movie here
and I come here all the time.

I love this museum.

Oh, me too.

Are these seats taken?

It's great they have
such a big turnout.

Did you hear what's happening
to their budget though?

The legislature wants
to cut it again.

Another 20%.

That's terrible.

I know we have
this amazing museum

and amazing collection.

And no one seems to care.

- It's sad.
- It really is.

We're becoming
a culture that just

throws everything away.

Someone's got to preserve,
you know,

all the awesome things
people have done over time.

Like movies.

And books.

Sorry to go off like that.

I get a little worked up
sometimes.

No, it's fine.

I can get a little
worked up myself.

I think I'm ready.

For what?

Pretty big step.

You going to propose?

No.

No, I'm gonna invite Katie over.

To your place?

You've never even let me inside.

Yeah, cause you touch
everything.

Oh, would I?

Get away from me.

Are you sure about this?

Don't you think you should spend
more time on mutual ground?

Oh, I want to come over so I can
show her Barry Lyndon.

Oh, is that what you call her?

"Haha".

Just remember,

she might touch things too.
If you're lucky.

- Hello.
- Hey.

Come on in.

Very nice.

Any trouble finding the place?

Cool.

Would you like
something to drink?

No, I'm good for now.

Cool.

Cool.

Well, then, let me
give you the nickel tour.

Wonderful.

I like your pictures.

Ah, thanks.

You smell lemony.

Do I?

Are you ready for the tour?

This, of course,
is the living room,

which doubles as a theater,
and editing room,

and a film set.

What is that?

Oh, this is a little project
I've been working on.

It's a little homage
to King Kong.

Do you want to see it?

Keep in mind,
this is a work in progress.

Ordinarily,
I wouldn't show my work

before it's finished but...

You thought
you'd make an exception.

That is so...

You did all that yourself?

What can I say? Just, wow.

Thank you for sharing
it with me.

There's something I,

I feel like I've been getting
away with something.

What do you mean?

I need to be honest with you.

- Ah-oh.
- No, it's not

a "ah-oh" kind of thing.

Well, it could be depending
on your point of view.

Um.

You may have noticed that I...

take a lot of trips
to the bathroom.

The reason is

I've got a pretty
bad case of OCD.

I wash my hands
like a million times a day.

I thought you were going to say
you had a stomach virus.

No, the OCD is enough for me.

Well, as far as I'm concerned,
it doesn't make a difference.

Everybody's a little OCD.

Mine's a lot more
than a little though.

Come on.
It can't be all that bad.

I've been holding on to
this since you got here.

Just in case.

In case of what?

In case you touched me.

Oh.

I'm not saying this
because I don't like you.

I'm telling you because I do.

Honestly, I like you too.

And the OCD, I didn't mean
to make less of it.

How would you know?

People are always saying
I'm a little OCD like,

it's no big deal.

But for me,

it's the reason I didn't
finish film school.

It was just

overwhelming.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

No, no, I shouldn't
have said what I said.

But even with what you said,
how can I put this?

It still doesn't bother me.

I mean everybody's
got something.

What are you thinking?

You want to wipe your mouth,
don't you?

Just around the lips.

Do you mind?

I probably should.
But you're so funny.

Funny, cute.
That is funny adorable.

Go ahead.

I'm glad you came over.

Thank you for inviting me.

And for letting me see
that part of you.

As a matter of fact, I'd like
to return the invitation.

You mean, come to your place.

There's something
I want to share with you.

Well, that would be great.

- When would you...
- Friday maybe, around six?

Sure.

I'm so happy that things
are going well for you guys.

I knew you'd like her.

Didn't I tell you?

Yes, dear.
You're right about everything.

If you say so.

I'm going to go see
what cakes they have today.

You know what Katie said to me
last night before she left?

That Meghan's never wrong.

She said she wanted
to share something with me.

- Share something?
- Yeah.

Really?

Those are the words she used?

I've never heard it put
so delicately.

That's one classy lady you got.

You like your neighbors?

So they're not too noisy?

That's good.

Noise can be a problem.

This is me.

Cool.

Okay. Well.

You can come in.

You know, you're the first
person I've ever had over.

Beside for my family.

They're pretty much used to it.

Oh, yeah.

Not that they're cool with it.
They just,

I don't know.
They've come to accept it.

Family's good that way.

I guess.

I know this is a lot to take in.

It's just the other night.
You really inspired me.

I cleared off the couch.
Would you like to sit down?

No, I'm okay.

I've always been
kind of a packrat.

I like finding things
that interest me

and I just hang on to them.

I like knowing I've got them if
I need them,

and they're not going
to go to waste.

I can enjoy them,
whenever I want.

You know?

Problem is I find so many things
that interest me.

I guess you can't help
being interested.

Sometimes I try to
get things organized,

and I make a little progress
and then more things come in

and I fall even further behind.

Xana do.

What?

I was just...

You shouldn't be
too hard on yourself.

You're okay. With all this?

It's fine.

It's a lot to take in.
Like you said, but I'm fine.

We don't have to stay here.
We can go out.

I just wanted to let you see.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

Really.

Now I understand

why she always met me outside.

Was it really that bad?

It was like, Citizen Kane,

the ending of Citizen Kane.

Well, I'll tell Meghan,
and maybe she'll cool down.

She's really pissed at you.

At me? She's the one
who fixed this up.

How is Meghan supposed to know?

They're friends? Aren't they?

Yeah, work friends. That
doesn't mean they hang out.

Yeah, but you think she would
have picked up on something?

In conversation?

Did you?

You know what bothers
me the most?

I really liked her.

What are you gonna do now?

So that guy, we were together,
I don't know. About a year.

Maybe less.

But anyway, we had
this very big breakup.

And then I met this other guy.
And he was like,

everything you
could want in a guy.

Like, really handsome,
really tall, really successful.

I mean, super successful.

I mean, he did a very big job
with some international company.

But every time he took me out,

I'd have to hear about

everything he did at work
that day. I mean everything.

Every boring meeting,
every little crises

and how he fixed it.

And most of
the time I had no clue

what he was talking about.

All I could do is sit there
and on my head, you know.

That got really old really fast.

So this latest one,
what she like?

- Voluble.
- Huh?

Never mind.

I can't believe you got me
to see this piece of crap.

It's good to
watch something brainless

every now and then. It takes
your mind off things.

Yeah. Wouldn't you want to see
something that makes you think?

That way you really wouldn't
focus on anything else.

You're hopeless. You know that.

I know.

Hey, isn't that?

Who?

Cruella's husband?

I think you're right.
He looks different, though.

He gained the weight back.

The weight?

Oh, yeah. Cruella can't
be happy about that.

Oh, that's not Cruella.

No, it is not.

How longs it been,
six months since the wedding.

I guess this one doesn't expect
him to be perfect.

You ready?

I am.

Hi. You've reached Katie.
I'm a little swamped right now.

May I help you?

I came to say, I want to say,

- I'm sorry.
- For what?

For freaking out.

- And not calling.
- Why shouldn't you freak out?

Anybody would.

I don't want to be just anybody.

Not with you.

I was really starting to think.

But, hey, I know I was taking
a risk showing you my apartment.

I don't blame you. So you
really don't need to feel bad.

I should feel bad.

I feel like we have a really
good chance here and,

I don't want this to ruin it.

Even if you didn't have that,
you'd get tired of all my crap.

I get tired of all my crap.

And I'm exhausted by mine.

It just proves we would never
have worked out.

No, no. We can make it work.

- I can make it work.
- Really?

Then why did you come
here to see me?

You know where I live obviously,
why aren't we talking there?

Because I'm a nutcase.

And a moron.

- And a jerk.
- Is that all?

I'm also a dumb ass.

And a dipstick.

Not to mention a doofus,

lame brain,
a numbskull, a dim bulb,

a loon.

And let's not forget,
a bonehead, a meathead,

pin head, knucklehead.

Did I leave anything out?

Hmm, dunderhead.

Look it's easy
for you to say sorry

and be all funny and charming.

And I do appreciate all that.

But really nothing has changed,
you are who you are.

Aren't you gonna wash
your mouth out?

You really think
we can make this work?

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