All language subtitles for Love.Antosha.2019.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-GLUE

The Phantom
by Anton Yelchin.

Created by Anton Yelchin.

Filming.

Taping...

by Victor Yelchin.

Costumes by
Anton Yelchin and Irina Yelchin.

Story writer, Anton Yelchin!

And here it goes!

Cut. Cut!

To begin with,

I just wanted
to ask you a fun question.

I don't know if...

Did you go to the movies
as a kid?

And if you did,
were there any films or actors

that were particular favorites
or influences for you?

Well, as a kid,
when I went to the movies,

Arnold Schwarzenegger
was probably the biggest

- influence on me.
- Yeah.

Specifically,
Last Action Hero

I remember seeing, and just...

being obsessed with, you know?

And then, uh, Space Jam,

definitely,
was a profound influence

- when I was younger.
- Yes.

Oh!

Oh, gee!

It's funny, like,
that was my taste

up until I was like ten.

Then when I was like 11 and 12,

my parents started showing me,
because I started working.

And they were like, "You know,
if you want to do this,

we're gonna start
showing you good movies,

just so you don't think
Space Jam is...

Is the peak. Yeah.

Was the peak
of American Cinema.

Um, so they showed me a film
shot by the same DP, actually,

named Michael Chapman,
who did Taxi Driver.

I swear, I swear, I'm not crazy.

And I loved it.
It was like the first thing

I consciously said
to my folks, like,

"I want to do this.
I want to make movies."

The actor Anton Yelchin
is with me.

You Are in Vancouver
and you are shooting...

- yet again something?
- Yeah.

Yeah. How are you in school?
Good in school?

Good. All A's except in Gym.

- In Gym?
- Yeah.

You're a child
after my own heart,

I have to say.

But your parents are athletes?

Yeah, so I think
that's enough in our family.

Yeah.

Making their first appearance

in a professional competition,

the former stars
of the Leningrad Ice Ballet,

Irina Korina and Victor Yelchin from the Soviet Union.

Thirty-eight years of age,
Victor,

he has a lot of experience.

These two, now married
and live in Los Angeles

with their seven-month-old son.

This is the beginning
of a new career for them,

and a new life.

And I was just follow

everything what he was writing
about pregnancy.

I was...

extremely happy
that I have a baby.

Irina Korina and Victor Yelchin

bring that music with them
from the Soviet Union.

That is the theme song
from a Russian movie called

A Slave of Love.

Anti-Semitism is on the rise

in the Soviet Union.

Five years ago,

no one would have said
there is any anti-Semitism.

Today, there is.

...who lived in United States,

and he came back, and he said,

"When the baby would be born,
we have to leave."

...men don't cry.

And actually, I didn't.

But this time, when...

It was unbelievable feeling

that I'm staying on
American soil

with my baby in my hand.

And this moment will be with me,
like, all my life.

That's it.

It is fascinating to me

how you arrived
in this country. So...

For those
who don't know the story,

tell me about your mom and dad,

and how you, how you
made your way to the US of A.

My parents
were successful

in the Soviet Union.

Basically, they sold everything,

uh, and came to this country
not knowing a word of English,

and...

just started to work.

And, uh, and then they raised me
in the San Fernando Valley,

which I dug
based on family photographs,

I was having a... a good time.

♪ I know I don't need you
Just like you don't need me ♪

♪ I know you put your faith
Into technology ♪

♪ I know that we can settle in
Like a pizza parlor ♪

Hi-yah!

♪ Come on, where the fuck
Did you go? ♪

♪ Come on, come on ♪

♪ Break your television! ♪

You know, I met him...
I met him in grade school.

He was just kind of like,
this loud, kind of crazy kid.

Everyone knows him
as, you know, like,

this infinitely
creative person, and...

You know, we were just...

We were just
fucking silly together.

Poor boy.

So lovely he was, too.

Alas, what time does
through the ages.

We would go running
around his neighborhood,

and he would
always be talking about

different things
that he was reading,

and different music
that we were into.

One of the first people to,
like, really show me Fellini.

I don't think we watched
a full Fellini film together,

but we definitely watched clips.

One of the better
memories that we had

was when he brought out
the video camera.

On one level, it was just
two kids just being silly,

having a lot of fun.

But on another level,

there was just something
that was...

It was kind of serendipitous,

but it was also just...

Anton.

The Dream,
a film by Anton Yelchin.

I was very shy,
but very privately animated.

What do you want me to show you?

Drama, ballet...

or...

comedy, horror...

and action?

Sort of
a closer family friend of ours

suggested they take me
to an acting class called

uh, Kris Kyer's Actors Workshop.

He had like a class
for little kids,

and it was all, like,
eight-year-olds

or nine-year-olds.

He would look
down his feet for the first...

six months, I would say.

He wouldn't look up.
He would get very scared.

And all we had to do was instill

uh, self-imagination,
self-esteem

for the first six months,

and then a lightbulb went on.

Seventy-three years ago,

there once lived a man,

and his name was Mr. Picognius.

He was the greatest artist ever.

He painted...

Picasso sometimes
even could be like him.

We did a lot of improv, like, we would do things,

like, where he would
give us an assignment

to come home and make something.

And I actually enjoyed

those moments more than I did
where we had to learn scenes.

And because at the time,

scenes were just lines to me, they weren't really characters,

whereas these things where I could just create stuff,

kind of like I did at home.

The policeman tells me

that he is...

That he dropped. Yes.

And to be or not to be!

So, your audition
for Chuck E. Cheese,

you did an imitation of Arnold?

- Arnold, yeah.
- Yeah.

But, it's,
it's gotten worse.

Oh, yeah.
Oh, well, that's okay.

And then
they asked us to dance.

Most guys, you know, um, that are like 10, 11, and 12,

you say to them, "Okay, dance."

They just...
they wanna run away.

I always dance
with my mom at parties,

and in between
my dad dancing with my mom

because my parents
are ice skaters.

So my mom always wants me
to dance with her,

so I don't say, "No!"

So I always dance with my mom.

Why it's so hard for him
to fight a simple cold.

And,
uh, the doctor said,

"The results are positive.
Anton has cystic fibrosis."

Imagine being born
with chronic illness,

and your parents being told

that you're not going
to live beyond a certain age

without a significant
amount of therapies

and significant
amount of medications

to modify how
their body functions,

to maintain their activity.

That's a huge burden to bear.

One of the hardest things
with CF

is they don't look sick,

but they're battling
all the time,

because the number one symptom
is their breath,

which we all, in this room,
take for granted.

Everyone's disease
is different,

and they all
handle it differently.

You know, I'd say,

"You know, this is more hopeful
than it used to be.

So really live with hope
as your, your main driver."

...has this horrible disease.

Yeah, brotha's cool, yeah.

Yeah!

- And always...
- Eat my greens.

- Eat my... I like greens.
- Good.

And never ever...

- And never ever...
- Pick my nose

- and eat the boogers.
- Pick...

- I never eat the boogers.
- Good.

- Okay, here you go.
- Thank you.

That we have to...

Happy birthday to you!

- And many more!
- Yay!

I did
that episode of ER,

it was a very heavy episode.

And it was the first time I had- Mm-hmm.

To cry for anything.

And I just wept
and wept, and wept,

and I couldn't stop crying
after they cut.

And it was weirdly cathartic
and kind of awesome,

but very painful
at the same time.

Like, my mom
was really freaked out.

We and the other
doctors worked really hard

to help your parents, but...

their injuries were
very, very serious.

And...

despite everything
we tried to do,

we were not able to save them.

But I know they would be
so relieved

to know that you're both okay.

I wanna see them.

I mean,
I don't think any parent...

I mean, I don't know
what kind of a parent

would want to sit there
and see their kid weep,

and it was kind of
off-putting to her.

But it was... there is...
Something happened

where I realized
that it was very much...

It was very much something
that I had enjoyed.

- That intensity.
- Mm.

"I wish for you
to feel million, trillion,

billion times better tomorrow."

"Dear Mommy,
I love you so very much.

I adore you.

I wish for you to feel billion,
trillion times better tomorrow."

And it was like 20,

those type of cards he would
just slip under the door

or kiss me and do that.

He would just write,
"Dear Mommy,

I love you! Love, Antosha."

"Dear Mommy, I love you.
Love, Antosha."

Just like that. This is like...
That's a treasure.

It's no gifts.

Better than those.

I'm very fortunate
because my mom,

you know, she was teaching
all the time,

she still choreographs,

but she would literally,
like in her skating suit,

take me to auditions
after work and just...

She just believed
that this is what I loved,

so I owe her everything, really.

Just for believing in me,
you know?

"What is a man if his chief good

and market of his time be,
but to sleep and feed.

A beast, no more.

Sure he that made us
with such large discourse,

looking before and after,

gave us not this capability
and god-like reason

to fust in us unused.

Now, whether it be
bestial oblivion,

or some craven scruple

of thinking too precisely
on the event...

A thought which, quartered,

hath but one part reason

and ever three parts coward."

After like six
or seven commercials,

I kind of said to my mom that it wasn't what I expected.

- Mm.
- And she was like,

"It's fine,
if you don't want to do this.

Um, we can figure out what else there is to do, you know?

Like, we can see
what the next step is.

Or, if you don't like it,
that's cool, too,

you don't have to do that.
You just go back to school."

And I got an agent,

and I worked on my first movie, A Man is Mostly Water,

and I realized that, that was
what I really wanted to do.

♪ Soon it's morning, baby ♪

♪ About to break our day ♪

♪ I know it hurts...
Darling used to be ♪

♪ Soon it's morning ♪

♪ And I'm about to break
Our day ♪

...he, he start playing guitar.

So good.

This Blues is for you, Mama.

♪ Mommy ♪

♪ I love you so, Mommy ♪

♪ Oh, Mommy ♪

♪ I love you for life ♪

♪ So beautiful, Mom ♪

♪ So beautiful, Mom ♪

I never met anyone
quite like him

in the sense that
there were these,

sort of classic,
child-like qualities about him

and very old qualities
and they just coexisted.

That is, he had...

a curiosity,
that with most people

degrades over time...

Love you, baby.

Love you.

Yeah!

...but not with him.

She sure is big.

I knew you would like it.

All kids like big things.

It must be some kind of rule.

What is she holding?

Well, it's a torch...

to light the way in

for the ships
going into the harbor.

I met him
when he was a little kid,

on a movie called,
Delivering Milo,

and I thought
I was a little kid,

but he was, uh, littler.

He was so interesting.

I would have never guessed

he would become a professional,

although, he was a professional,

if I had just seen that.

Because he didn't have,

kind of, like
a false precociousness

which I find
in a lot of kid actors.

They're good
at pretending to be adults.

He wasn't doing that. He was...

I don't want to take away
from what he did

by calling him "a natural,"

but he did have an ability
to just jump into something,

and it didn't seem hard.

Maybe it was hard.

Everything was so,
so instinctual,

like I don't even remember
what I did

in terms of working on it,

I probably
just learned my lines.

But the biggest,

biggest thing that was,
I think, quite significant

and kind of affected me
profoundly

was doing the film
Hearts in Atlantis,

with Anthony Hopkins
and Scott Hicks directing,

and being around
the late Piotr Sobocinski,

who was an extraordinary DP,
and...

And seeing them work

and being influenced by them
was tremendous.

Remember that first time we were in that room in...

- in, uh, Keswick when--
- Keswick Hall.

When Anton came in

and sat down
and started reading with you.

You prepped me
a little about Anton.

You said, "Well, we think
this boy is really terrific."

And then in walked
this young kid.

And he reminded me
of Tom Sawyer.

And then
when he did the reading,

I thought he was just
an extraordinary boy.

He had such poise
and, uh, confidence

without being obnoxious
or overbearing.

I thought he was just wonderful, wonderful kid.

Go on, Ted.
I mean, you can't stop!

Ted, I gotta know what happened!

I never ever saw...

a girl as special
as Carol Gerber.

There's millions.

Oh, yeah?

Have you kissed her yet?

Yuck!

Well, you will. I promise you.

Stay away.

You will.

And it will be the kiss

by which all others in your life
will be judged.

Dear Journal.

Today I have my first kiss.

This was my first kiss
with Mika.

It was okay, I kinda liked it.

It was very nice.

And I did it twice.

I hope it happens
many more times.

I said, "Anton,
what you got to do is

wait for the good scripts,"

you know, the thing

that's gonna launch you
to the next step."

And he said to me,

"No, I want to do everything."

I said, "No, no, no,
you can't do everything,

because there's a lot of...

junk out there
you don't want to be a part of."

"No, no, I wanna do everything.

I don't care, I want to act."

Raging Bull. - Then wasRaging Bull.

Fight. Win, win, win.

Kill, kill, kill.

Kill, kill. Put them up.

Kill, kill, kill.

Studying it.

He was going back to Internet,

read everything,
what was connected

with this particular movie.

Influence
on Taxi Driver for Scorsese.

Notes from the Underground,
Merchant of Four Seasons,

Fassbinder.

Travis Bickle is a reflection

of the history of masculinity
in film.

We would sit for hours.

And he would show me
old movies, you know.

Old film noirs, and...

old French movies
and old Japanese movies, and...

You know, he was a...

a true student of film.

Double Indemnity,
1944, Billy Wilder.

A great, nasty picture.

Uses the self-conscious device
of voiceover and flashback.

Straight Shooting,
1917, John Ford.

A great moving picture.

Even though
it's Ford's first feature,

already displays his themes

in much of this spectacular use of mise-en-scéne.

Bohemians.

I remember once,
he invited me to a movie.

It was The Big Heat...

with Lee Marvin.

After the movie, I was like,
"That was amazing!

That was amazing!"

And he was like,
"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Uh, he...

He had, of course,
seen it multiple times.

I mean,
I always loved movies.

I loved being on set.

I love meeting people.
I love working on the scenes,

but...

the level of work
that I've put in

and the appreciation I had
for the craft of filmmaking

is completely different now.

I would like you
to shuffle this, please.

All right.

And efficiently, and...

- Yeah. Okay, fine.
- Anyway possible.

- Okay.
- So, I'll shuffle.

Okay, and...

This is your card.

Wow!

Yeah.

How'd you do that?

I'm sorry, I can't tell you.

Sorry.

Come on, just do it.
How you did you do the trick?

No, no, no. Magicians don't tell
people how they do their tricks.

Yeah, well,
you're not really a magician.

Oh, yeah, I am.

What, 'cause you do one trick,
that makes you a magician?

Did I trick you?

Curb is such a different kind of experience.

I mean, Curb, you go
on the audition, and...

you pick a scenario
out of a hat.

And then you go into the room,

and there's like ten execs there
and Larry David,

and you just improvise a scene
with Larry David.

And I basically did it.

And then when I got it,
they were like,

"What you said in the audition,

what you did in the audition,

that's what
the scene's gonna be."

Are you gonna
tell me this trick?

No.

Magicians
don't reveal their secrets.

Fine. I got to go.

You guys are a lot alike.

Yeah,
except he's not a magician.

It was 2004

when I first met Anton.

I had seen a lot of kids

for something I had done
right before that.

So when David Duchovny
was looking,

and he had someone in mind.

And it was like, "You just have
to meet this child."

And he met Anton.

I think it's the only kid
I brought to him.

I don't want you to take

any shit off your dad, okay?

Okay.

And listen, if Simone--

Do good things, Tommy.

Promise me.

You do good things.

I promise.

The thrill
of making movies

and being able to make movies

and studying characters,
and you know,

getting to work with people
that you respect and admire,

is, is so far superior
to everything else.

That... and it's kind of
an easy choice.

At least for me, you know,

it's how I think about things.

He was
an absolute one of a kind.

With Anton, you just know
they broke the mold.

There was nothing about him
that wasn't wonderful.

I remember he was always...

always there, always on the set,

watching me,
and then after his take,

he would come over
and ask me questions about it.

Or when we did a scene,
afterward, he didn't go...

rolling off into his trailer.

He wanted it always
to be of a piece.

Presenting the Breakthrough Award tonight,

is his House of D director.

Give it up for David Duchovny.

I learned about integrity,
artistic integrity,

about, uh, artistic morality,
if that, if that can be said.

About, uh, honesty.

And the only thing that I can
fault him for, is that...

You know, when he worked, uh,
with Robin Williams,

he would always call him,
"Mr. Williams."

And he called me "David."

But, Anton,

the luckiest thing
and the best thing I ever did

was put you on my movie.

Come here and get this.

Thank you, Mr. Duchovny.

Um...

It's, uh, it's, uh, really great
to be here.

I'm not really good
at taking compliments, so...

I'll try to make this
as quick as possible.

More than anything, um,
my parents who are always like,

you know,
symbols of strength, and...

for me,
and have always showed me

a lot of love and kindness

since I was tiny, you know?
Thank you.

C. A.

A.

Dear Mamoola.

You are my best friend,

the closest person to me
in the world,

and the most amazing woman
that I know.

Your soul, through
your beautiful eyes, shines.

It does not matter whether
you are laughing, or yelling,

regardless of whether
I am smart enough to show it,

I always, always, always have so much respect for who you are,

for how strong, smart,
wonderful, talented,

interesting, intelligent,
and just how...

your least favorite word,

cool you are.

Thank you for every hug, kiss,
smile, and every bowl of soup.

You are an extraordinary,
charming woman,

and you have an equally
extraordinary husband,

and a son that is your baby

as long as he lives.

Love, Antosha.

I remember, like, I was,

I was a little intimidated
by Irina, just a little bit.

We were maybe, like 11 or 12,

and would be looking
at something on the Internet,

something inappropriate,
or whatever, and then...

you know, we would hear
from downstairs like, "Antosha!"

And he would yell back, "Shtoh?"

You know, like,
just like, "What?"

You know,
that's when our hormones

just started kicking in.

So, we were just
totally girl-crazy, and like...

The Internet
was in its adolescence too.

So it's just
like girl-crazy, Internet...

bad combo, you know?

Good!

I was 14
when I worked with him,

but then, yeah, he and I were...

really good friends
for like two years.

Um, and then he kind of,
like, broke my heart.

I was so kind of
baffled by how good he was

in working with him.

Uh, and then, subsequently,

just, I couldn't be around him,

um, because he was, just like,
made me like so nervous.

But I literally think about,
like,

why I like
some of the shit that I like.

In that very brief
period of time,

at like 14, 15, 16,

he kind of like shaped me
in this way, and so...

So, yeah,
in full disclosure, fully,

it was just like, weird
to talk about with...

anyone,
because it was like this,

kind of, like insulated,
little thing and, uh...

Yeah. Yeah, whatever, but...

I missed you so much.

Watch it, my ribs still hurt.

Does it hurt to kiss me?

No, of course not.

He intimidated me
because he's so voracious,

and I like, wanted to keep up
with that.

And wanted to listen
to all the music

that he fucking listened to,
and I, like, wanted to,

kind of absorb all of his
interests, and all of his stuff.

And by the way, when you're 14,

and someone's like a year
or two older than you,

and you're like,
"He's like a lot older than me!"

Um, so, yeah,
there was like that, and...

he asked me once
what my favorite book was,

and I didn't really have one
at the time.

I was so horrified,

I think it probably kick-started
my own, like, self...

I wanted to be better,
smarter, cooler.

I was just always like...
But couldn't even hang with him.

I think On the Road

is really a novel about
the savage passage of time,

and how to approach that passage

and the ultimately sad way
it keeps going

and leaves us all behind
in its wake.

Even Dean Moriarty,

who always exists
in the present.

Gone, Dean Moriarty,

who digs the world continually

and loves every bit of it
and moves on.

...you know,
I'm worried about this thing."

And I said,
"Well, you know, baby, we...

so you have to go
and kill somebody else?"

So he said, "Okay."

"I wanna show you something."

And I said, "What?"
"Just don't freak out."

Ah.

...telling what he feels.

His associations
were very well-tuned.

He'd go farther
than most people.

He had this childlike...

surprise and appetite
for experience.

He was always looking for...

He was always looking
under the hood.

And numb...

Do you know that
we have a homework parties?

What?

Homework parties
with little hats.

No.

- Yeah.
- Like...

- Yeah.
- ...for birthdays?

Yeah! Yeah!

Another thing...

I'll be sleeping, right?

And she will wake me up
by looking at me.

Like, I'll open my eyes,

and she'll be right there
looking at me, like...

You're lucky,
you know that?

Yeah, I know.

...what he had.

My brain is now
distinctly fucking jumbled,

or not so much.

Actually, not really.

Not at all.

The sun is still shining.

He was a list man.

He always had a list on him.

He's like,
"Mary! I'm so glad you're here.

I have so many things
I want to talk to you about."

So we would just like get into

these great conversations
about...

You know, how he could do things
and still live his life.

Numerous times a day,

he'd have to be hooked up
to a breathing machine

that he'd, you know,
would have to literally just,

just pounce against his lungs
and cough up mucus,

and then have to go outside,
and put on a smile,

and through that, also wanted
to keep that inside

and not tell anyone.

A call time is usually...

bright and early.

He had to do
his breathing exercise

like two hours before,

just to get himself prepared
to start the day.

Nobody knew that but Anton.

Nobody knew that.

People are finding out
right now, actually.

You know? This is insane.

Fatty, why are you doing this?

Well, go on. Go on, tell us.

Well, the Captain
wants to know why.

Well?

Fatty, don't be such a pussy.

I had arranged
to meet with Anton.

Or I think Irina drove him over
and dropped him off

and we sat down.

And I said,
"So, you know, what...

Why do you wanna play
Charlie Bartlett?

What is it you like about
the character or the movie?"

And the first thing he said is,

"I like how honest he is,

and...

how he wants to do things
for his friends.

He wants
to take care of people."

Great
fucking time on my birthday.

It is going to be a great...

I can't even fucking see
behind your fucking head,

you fucking hippie.

Marlon, I love you, dude.

Guys, give me it.

You motherfucking fucks.

I have a small growth

on one of the ventricles
of my brain.

To date,
I've had four brain surgeries.

Anton was one of the very,
very few people

that knew that about me.

He would always be
very concerned.

He knew instantly
when things weren't right.

Because of him,
and because of our friendship

that I was able to be a bit more

accepting of the circumstances
I was in.

If you can explain
what you're doing.

Or better yet,
why you're doing it,

that would be a good start.

Look, I'm helping
these kids, okay?

Nobody else
is listening to them.

Charlie could be
the loneliest of people,

but he chooses not to be.

It's the intelligence
of his decisions,

and as a result,
his responsibilities

and the consequence of these

that shape his character.

He was always kind of
observing people

and their behavior,

and he took that
into his work a lot too,

as he would be able
to take different characters.

And he loved stories.

He loved human stories.

Charlie is an optimist.

People are depending on him.

He had so much love for...

the people that were close
to him in his life.

I lost my dad when I was 13,
and, you know...

He always reminded me that

he was like, there for me,
you know?

He opened up to me
about his CF,

and he had known that I had
an autoimmune disease

and that, you know,
it had been, you know,

pretty significant and caused
a lot of problems in my life.

The funny thing is, like,
I would use my disease to like,

you know, to help me out,
occasionally,

like to bail me out of things.

And this guy
was so selfless, that he like...

You know, was able to keep
such a serious thing secret.

Anton was great
at what he did,

but he was kind of worried
that because of his condition,

he maybe,
wouldn't be able to work.

And now, you're not gonna
get away from this interview

without my asking you
about Star Trek.

- And I'm sorry.
- Right.

- I apologize right now.
- Right.

- It's part of the deal.
- Of course.

You're in
the new Star Trek movie.

- Right.
- Directed by J.J. Abrams.

The whole world
is curious about it,

- Right.
- And that includes me.

- Right.
- So...

You're playing the young Chekov?

Right, Pavel Chekov, right.

On the, uh,
first Star Trek,

we said we wanted
to clone little Antons

and give them away
as wrap gifts.

Just tiny pet Antons
that every...

I think it was
just the kind of joy

and the kind of happiness
and optimism

he sort of encapsulates, and...

Of course, you know,
the fun of playing around

with that great accent.

The character of Chekov
in Star Trek

speaks a kind of Russian...

that doesn't really exist.

They're creating a singularity

that will consume the planet.

And, uh...

It was actually really hard
for Anton

at the beginning
to speak Russian badly.

He couldn't.

When he was business,
he would say, "Mom.

Mom, your accent
is not good for this.

I need Grandpa's accent."

- Excuse me, Captain Kirk.
- Yes.

- Sorry, sir.
- Mr. Chekov, what is it?

Based on the Narada's course
from Vulcan...

I remember
being with him on set

and doing a classic J.J. Abrams
sort of 19-hour day,

and, um...

He looked so tired.

I remember he was trying
to say this, uh,

very complicated speech

about dropping out of warp
and hiding behind Saturn,

and his little eyes
were so sort of red.

He never looked younger to me
than on that day.

If we adjust
our shield frequencies,

we should not be detected.

Wait a minute, kid,
how old are you?

Seventeen, sir!

I can certainly say,

for the group of people
that got to work with him,

he might have been
the youngest person on camera,

but he was, I think,
the person that sort of quietly,

without even realizing it,
I think,

you know, challenging all of us
to be as good as he was.

It's an interesting line to follow,

because you pick and choose,

and you see what you can bring
that's your own.

And then I met
with Walter Koenig,

and we had this talk.
And he said, you know,

"Looks like you guys

are being really smart
about this,

and doing your own thing
and yet,

you know, I see traces of myself in what you're doing."

And it was really...

It was really great
for me to hear that,

because I was so nervous
about meeting him.

And, and he seemed so pleased.

Here we are,
we're all coming together

to revamp this old franchise

that had moved people
for so long.

And Anton was the youngest one
in the cast.

And his angle about like,
"Oh, we have to do this right,

and if not,
people will be unhappy.

We're talking about peace,
it was about friendship,

it was about ending war."

And I remember thinking,

"My god, this kid is so deep.

I got to get...
I got to get myself in shape."

I play guitar and Anton
played incredible guitar.

And so...

You know,
we had inevitably kind of

bring our guitars to the set,

tool around, and,

Anton, in all of his
frustrating humility.

He never wanted to pat himself
on the back, it seemed like...

He would say,
"Well, I don't really know,

you know, I don't play
all that much."

And then he would like
whip out some like

Mississippi John Hurt
or something,

that was just like,

"Oh, I've just been
playing this for a little bit."

I remember getting
into this very heated debate

about the merits of Bob Dylan
versus Simon & Garfunkel.

And he couldn't believe...

that I preferred
Simon & Garfunkel to Bob Dylan.

And I just remember being like,

"I can't believe
I'm having this argument

with a 17-year-old kid."

You know what I mean? Like...

I've been around
the block, kid, like,

I love Simon & Garfunkel,
you know.

But he really made me question
my relationship

to these musicians
who I've loved all my life.

He really knew
what he was talking about,

no matter what it was, you know?

And, uh...

And there was
some real beauty in that.

We went back to, uh...

We had some, you know,
uh, shooting on set,

and then going back
to the trailers.

And I said,
"You want to come and jam?"

He's like,
"No, I got to go back to, uh..."

It turns out, he's translating
this Russian novel.

That's like this big,

a Russian philosophy tract.

And he's like
making notes on this thing

and translating it
at the same time.

He's, mind you, 17 years old.

It was so funny.

He didn't consider himself
a musician,

and he didn't consider himself
a singer,

and he was
a damn great musician.

But he was a little bit,
I think, self-conscious.

He always wanted to be
the best at what he did.

Look, um, this is Ryan.

This is Dave, I'm Anton.

We're the Hammerheads.

Whoo!

I love your face!

Yeah!

All right.

♪ I got a woman
With a golden touch ♪

♪ Sittin' on a couch ♪

♪ She don't talk too much ♪

- ♪ Does she love me? ♪
- ♪ Does she love me? ♪

- ♪ No, she loves me ♪
- ♪ No, she loves me ♪

- ♪ Does she love me? ♪
- ♪ Does she love me? ♪

- ♪ No, she loves me ♪
- ♪ No, she loves me ♪

♪ I got a woman... ♪

Who he was as an artist
was so far beyond acting.

Because he could,
like, do everything.

If he didn't have
the countenance that he did,

he would have been intimidating.

But he didn't wield his power
that way.

He brought everyone in

and shared everything
that he learned,

and that he was interested in.

♪ I got a woman... ♪

You know, big movies,

they're just
a very different beast.

There's... It's like, it's very different.

I think for me, your job, at least the way I approach it,

is essentially the same.

Like you try to find...

whatever you want to create

and how to be creative

with this much honesty,
as you can

because there will be,
you know, self-aware films

that maybe call for a different form of performance.

Aside from all the things
he was reading for work,

to studying old movies,

he started playing
with us regularly,

whenever he was in town.

I mean the guy,
he loved expressing himself,

but he always felt like
he needed to work harder.

We would play a midnight show
at The Viper Room on Sundays.

And it would be from, like,
11:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.

And we wouldn't necessarily
invite anybody,

we just did it.

It was just
another creative outlet

that he could do.

First time
with insomnia and jet lag.

Probably jerking off too much.

I'm gonna have to jump up

and perform some tricks
in a couple hours,

but can barely keep my head on,

my legs from twitching,
and my head from cramping.

It always amazed me

how he was able to find time
to take care of his own health.

He would say,

"It's what I love,

and I'm not going to
let CF stop me

from doing what I love."

...build muscles
and be stronger than he was.

I mean, his abs,
they almost clanked.

It was like a conquistador's...

suit of armor under there.

And then he'd
take his shirt off,

and he was like,
this jacked little dude.

And you're like,
"What? Where has that been?"

And he's like,
"Just from coughing so much."

I was like, "Oh, probably."

Have you
completely lost your mind?

Well, I know
it seems a bit crazy, but...

I'm not talking to you, nutjob,

I'm talking to Mom.

It takes you years
to get him out of here,

and you let him come back
the next night

with a talking hamster?

He did a lot of thinking
and a lot of writing.

And sometimes,
his thinking got in his way,

you know? He was...

It was almost like his brain
was too big,

and he couldn't contain
all of his ideas.

That excitement,
that kind of youth,

and, and all of that was really
what led me to believe

that someday, he would...

he would have to express it
some other way besides acting,

because he really was...

I wouldn't... I don't know if
I'd say he was an intellectual,

but I think that he really loved
the play of the mind.

And...

he had to put
some of that to bed

in order to be an actor.

Don't... don't go too far
to the left of the box,

- like this way?
- Right.

- And go right.
- So stay where the box...

I tend
to be interested by...

either the philosophy
behind the filmmaking,

the philosophy
of the film itself,

who the director is.

We was afraid we was gonna have
to start without you.

But also, sometimes,
you read something, you go,

"Well, I don't know how
I feel about this as a whole,

but I love this character.

I think this might make
something interesting."

I got to know Anton
where he was...

he was kind of on his own
for the first time.

But he was still really attached
to his parents,

really attached to his mother.

I used to be...

so kind of jealous of that.

We just hadn't talked about...

parents, because
we were just teenagers.

We were just hanging out,

we didn't talk about
our parents.

And then his mom
was coming into town

and he was so excited.
And I was like,

"Are you seriously excited
your mom is coming?"

I start getting like,
a pre-migraine...

when my mother
is coming into town.

I love her, but...

I need you
to write me something.

We were in the gymnasium,

and I was like,
yelling at him about

trying to get him to,
you know, do something.

And, um, he was like,

"I kept trying to find
different ways to say that line.

I just feel like
I didn't find it."

And I was like,

"Really? I just find like,
one way of saying it,

and that's
just what I stick to."

And he was like,
"Yeah, I noticed that."

- Yeah, exactly!
- Holla!

He did make me start
thinking about that,

because I didn't really know
how to act.

So, I guess I'll just keep doing
the same exact thing.

And it wasn't until
we had that conversation

that I was like,

"Are you supposed
to find different ways of..."

it just seemed so basic.

And then that opened me up
to a whole new world of pleasure

in, uh, in my work.

You're actually 22?

I am. I am, yeah.

So, that's actually
kind of shocking.

You know,
because you've done so--

I mean, we're talking about
this year,

but really,
the last number of years...

- Yeah.
- You've done so much.

Yeah.

♪ My girl, my girl ♪

♪ Don't lie to me ♪

♪ Tell me where did you sleep ♪

♪ Last night ♪

He started doing
these photoshoots in The Valley.

And the first time
I saw his photography,

I knew that
he was shooting on the side.

I mean, he was the kind of guy
that did everything on the side.

And, um,
they were something special.

♪ My girl, my girl ♪

Donald
was one of his main, like,

characters
that he used to shoot.

This guy...

I think he found him
on Craigslist.

I think he found most of
these people on Craigslist,

that he shot.

He had started to live

a sort of adult life
when he was...

he was into his, sort of,
photography, and his lurking.

He used to call it "lurking."

I used to love listening to...
He told me these stories.

You know, I was so...
his senior,

and yet, I would be
listening to him

like a little kid
wrapped up in his

sordid tales of the dark side
of LA, you know?

We were known
as The Lurkers,

because we would always be
in these places

that we really
shouldn't have been, you know?

He was generally interested
in all types of people,

and wanted to know
their stories.

There's the Anton
that looks like a little kid

and was perpetually baby-faced.

And then there's a guy
going to a fucking sex club

in Van Nuys,

and doing
these really weird photoshoots

all the time

with the weird...

alter ego named Luis Carneros.

And if you want to see
some weird shit...

I mean...

certain images,
I can't get out of my mind.

Chris Pine
would show up and say,

you know, "Do you know
what Anton did this weekend?"

And he would,
like, tell me some story.

And for Chris Pine to be
freaked out about what Anton did

means it was out there.

The elegant,
and the crude,

and the carnal,
and the intellectual,

all just kind of folded
into the beauty.

He didn't ever separate it.

It was art. Art was life.
Life was art.

And that's the thing too,
girls loved Anton.

Women loved Anton.

I mean, and Anton loved women,
but, uh...

Maybe it's that close connection
with Irina.

♪ I knock a little harder ♪

♪ Till my face starts looking
Like it might as ♪

♪ What the heck... ♪

I found two things there.

A parking ticket...

and condoms.

And I keep it there.

There was the time
he was sitting next to, um,

Cindy Crawford on a plane.

And she was sitting
in the window,

and he was sitting in the aisle,

and he was like,
"Just so you know,

I'm gonna go to sleep."
And she said,

"It's okay,
I have really long legs,

so I can just step over you."

He said he jerked off to it
for a week.

Anton was a little dirtbird.

You know? He was a naughty boy.

And there was no reason why
he shouldn't be a naughty boy.

I envied his naughtiness,
in a way.

That was him,
all the time being,

"Look at this, look at here.

Did you see her?
What are they doing?

Deep in The Valley.

You wouldn't believe
what I was doing.

Deep in The Valley last night!"

And like...

Tell me, man,
show me the pictures!

Show me the pictures.

It was very difficult

to even be with him

when you were trying
to get girls,

because the second they saw him,
it was game over.

My girl was gone instantly.

And he was a nice guy, though,
you know.

He was always the guy
that would be like,

"Oh, no, no." Like...

"Luke, no, come."
Like, "Join with us!" You know?

Like, you know?
I was like, "No, no, it's cool."

Like, "I lost out again,
it's cool." You know?

We met at Subway.

And we sat for like three hours,
just talking.

It kind of went
from zero to a hundred,

and stayed there
for a long time.

Very serious
for both of us,

and pretty much broke up,

because we were just too young,
unfortunately.

He hit me up
after he had

had his heart broken.
And was like,

"Hey, can we like talk? I just,

I just kind of figured out

like what that actually
feels like, and I'm so sorry."

And I was like, "Dude, I'm...
It's fine, like, whatever.

Like, literally,
we were tiny children."

But, um...

for someone to call someone
and be like,

"Hey, that thing
that you went through,

I had no idea, but now I do,
and I'm so sorry."

I was like,
"Dude, it's fine, like..."

I don't think
you can step into the light

unless you fully explore
your own shadow

and it was such a part of him.

You know, that willingness,
that courage...

to go into
the darker parts of himself

and shine light on it,

not only for himself
but for other people.

He knew himself so well, and,

there was always, um...

There was always
just a recognition

of his own vulnerability
and his own fragility.

I am furious with myself.

And it could have been so good.

So sweet.

Fuck.

The roles
were getting bigger.

He was leading
in a lot of films.

But he was not happy.

You've been
a rising star now

for the longest time.

How's that feel?

I remember
talking to Irina

about how frustrated he would be
with his career

and that was always
baffling to me

because of how respected he was.

And, you know, I don't know
that he ever knew that.

Honestly, I don't think
he ever let himself

know that or believe that.

I want to make things,

and I want to express
a particular

point of view that I have,

and that is creatively,
emotionally, fulfilling to me.

And so, I spent time
thinking about that.

And I think about
how to do that,

how to accomplish that,
you know?

And these things
actually worry me.

Because you can hear a lot of great things about yourself,

and then you can get shit on
the next day,

and the institutional discourses of Hollywood

are a threat
to a human being's identity,

and to their sense of love

for their craft
and what they do.

This is exciting, man.

- This is good footage.
- It is what it is!

This is good footage, man.

It's better than no footage.

I bet it's good. Damn!

I wonder how many hits
this is gonna get.

Possibly, a thousand hits.

Oh, there you go.

Anton Yelchin...

- I'll take it.
- ...walking down the street.

Very exciting.

Well, for certain people,

it's more exciting
than you'll ever know.

It is such
a hyperreal world,

and it's so filled with

so many sort of distractions.

It's like the Roman Empire,
you know?

It's like, you can kind of have everything and do anything.

And, and I think, if you...

if you make that your life, it can be very easily confusing.

I was raised in, uh...

To love cinema.

And I sort of...

never imagined
I would do anything

but make movies.

The tough thing is,

it's very difficult
in this world

to actually accomplish
the kind of cinema

that you'd wanna make.

It's very difficult
to actually make the cinema

that you want to make

and not compromise your vision.

- Anton!
- Anton!

Just straight ahead, sir.

It's always good to have a movie that does well,

and people see.

But, when that's what
you're focused on,

and that's what you're
thinking about,

you're bound to have a lot of,

kind of, disappointment
and confusion.

That's why I think getting a small group of people

that really care together
to make movies

is really kind of the future for

- independent cinema.
- Mm-hmm.

He was the first person
I cast, and, uh...

I mean, it was a very somewhat
autobiographical experience,

so there was a lot
of just trying

to find a kindred spirit.

Someone who had been through

some of the experiences
that I had been through

and understood that.

I had read
in another interview

that you've done, that you also, in some ways,

had gone through
a similar experience

in your own life
with the forced separation,

in a way. Is that true?

I think, inevitably,
with my job,

every one of these relationships

- Mm.
- Becomes long distance,

because you leave
for four months at a time.

So, certain things
you can really

- relate to and understand...
- Mm-hm.

Like that "last night" feeling,

The "I'm-not-going-to-see-you
for-four-months" feeling,

the "I-haven't-seen-you
in-a-long-time,

how-do-I-take-this-moment"
feeling.

It was really like
just a bunch of friends

kind of coming together.

And that was where
you can really see,

really understand his talent
on a deeper level,

because he led that movie.

And it was all complete improv.

Did you sleep with him?

- Did you? Tell me, yes...
- Don't touch me.

- Yes or no?
- Jacob, don't touch me!

Did you sleep with him,
yes or no?

- Did you?
- Jacob, don't.

"Jacob, don't" what?

Did you, yes or no!
It's very simple.

Very simple question.

They were doing such
a heavy piece of material,

but when the camera
stopped rolling,

it was just voices and dialects

and goofy characters.

- Living the dream!
- No, it's Johnny, it's okay!

It's okay!

My name is Fionner.
Fionner James.

She's fucking hot!

They both went in
a hundred percent together,

and they were such an incredible partnership in that,

because there were no boundaries

to how we could explore
that dynamic.

People,
when they watch the film

really remember those moments
that we pick up on.

Like the first look,

the first time
you really realize

you're falling in love
with somebody.

And it doesn't
oversimplify things.

I mean, it's really about
not heightening the emotions

but picking the smaller moments.

And I think people
can really relate to that.

A mark.

I mean, do they have, like,
a dolly there for it or me?

I was nervous
after Like Crazy

because that's... It's such
a liberating experience

to then go on to a studio film,

but Craig Gillespie
on Fright Night

is also a director
that loves improv.

And the idea
of someone suffering

- doing something that is...
- Mm.

...is unfair to people
that they really care about,

is something that sort
of transcends that format

as a kind of human experience.

...which he shouldn't.

We're doing
this nine-day sequence

of vampires on fire.
He's like...

"Can I be on fire?"

And I'm like, um,
"Let me ask the stunt guys."

And I'm like, "Is it safe
for Anton to be on fire?"

And they're like,
"Yeah, it's safe."

And I'm like, "Okay."

Suddenly, the studio calls,

"What the hell
are you guys doing?

Burning our lead actor?"

Because of what
he went through his whole life,

with his disease,

it's why he wanted
to get a lot done.

He didn't want to let it
take him down, you know?

Like, he would talk about it
with me.

Like, there was this beast
inside of him, you know?

Excuse me.

I finished two films
over the summer.

And I'm starting
to work on another film,

and there might be another,
an improvised film.

He was always going further

than the rest of us.

What he was thinking about,
what he was looking at,

what he was interested in.
What was the next project?

He had this immigrant mentality
to a point that I think

that he needed
to work rather than sit still

in the confidence of his talent.

I don't think he gave himself
much of a break.

He'd go do
very risky projects,

and then he'd do something

that was more like a job.

He was so intense
about his quest

to really find situations
that would challenge him.

He was very practical.

He was very pragmatic
about career stuff,

but at the same time,

he deeply felt a duty
to educate himself

and to challenge himself.

Anton and I
became friends.

We would probably spend three,
four, five hours together,

talking about life.

He was an old soul,

you know, and I...

you know, don't talk
in terms of old souls

and stuff like that.

But I found myself treating him
as a contemporary.

I remember
he had no desire

to be like,
the flavor of the month.

He said, "I would rather work
with Jim Jarmusch."

My vision of things
is somewhat,

I think, skewed sometimes
by like,

obsessive desire
and interest in critical theory.

So, I'm blinded.
I almost have like blinders,

because I look at it,
and I think,

"Oh! This film is about genre,"
you know?

"About whether
we live through genre,

or genre lives through us,

or whether it's just sort of
a vicious cycle

where we reenact
things we've seen."

You don't often work
with an actor

who you so immediately take to.

The actor making the movie,
which is of, you know,

a pretty minor movie
in his canon.

And Anton, if he wasn't working
he would come in anyway.

I mean, he was part of
the creative package.

So...

What happens now?

Room 2117.

Five o'clock.

So, did you see yourself

as becoming the, uh,
thinking woman's sex symbol?

You know, it's funny

that you should say that.

I'm constantly surprised
by how insane filmmaking is.

Like, a hundred-whatever people
have gotten together

to try to get one shot,
perfectly.

And there's a real madness

and beauty to that madness
that I love.

I find it completely
intoxicating, and I...

I truly enjoyed working
on this one.

"I truly enjoyed working

on this film 5 to 7!"

It's startling in a way.

There's something angelic
about him

and pure about him,

and open,
and obviously intelligent,

but a little bit of a waif.

He looks like he just

put himself together quickly to,

to walk out the door.

He didn't look like he put on...

everything on, you know?

Then we started working
and I realized he was...

he was the real thing, you know?

You're always grateful

when you see one
of these talents.

They're very...

rare, really.

I think as an actor,

it's sort of a mixture
of the philosophical awareness

and the emotional, you know?

I think that those are the films I'm most drawn to.

Pull the trigger.

Do it!

What are you waiting for?

One more, right away.

Were you
always confident

that you were good enough
to make it in the industry?

I mean, I'm still
not very confident

that I'm good enough, you know?

I, I don't know that I'll ever
be confident in that.

You're at the ground floor
of a growing business.

Your reward is a career.

Yeah, fuck that.

Fuck that.

I remember
he was very troubled by...

his hairline was receding.

And he was a little obsessed
by that.

And that was that Hollywood part
that he did care about.

I could relate to that,
because someone assumes

that if you're interested
in the road less traveled,

you aren't interested
in the road traveled.

But the truth is,

you can hold both in your head.

♪ The angel and the devil ♪

♪ Secretly, they get along ♪

♪ Sitting up there
With me in the middle ♪

♪ From the dust till dawn ♪

Dear Mamoola
and Papoola.

Every day in Tokyo,

I think about
how terrifying it was

for you to come to a country

where you did not speak
a word of the language

with the intention
of starting a new life.

How frightening it was to leave a home with everything

and come to the United States
with nothing.

Not knowing
what tomorrow will bring,

how life will turn out.

I think about
the courage it took

to dedicate yourself to succeed in this new country,

in building a home
for yourselves and your child.

And I think about how you did it

so that I could have
a better life,

despite what the sacrifice
might mean to you.

I always worry
that I somehow,

can't express my appreciation,

so I try to write these notes expressing that I do think about

and appreciate and respect
and thank God for you,

and everything
that you have given me.

As I write this,

I see the trips to Toys "R" Us,

to the zoo.

I see the video cameras,

and all the attention
that I got.

I wish I could take
all of these things

and put them together
and give them back to you

with all the love
that you gave me.

I love you so much,

and I hope, even though
sometimes I'm too stupid,

selfish, or ignorant to show it,

you know this.

I wish for you to be happy
and healthy

for another million,
billion, trillion years.

I wish for us to be able
to celebrate all together

for all of those happy
and healthy years.

I love you.

Love, Antosha.

Let's just say I came up short.

Would you log this?

Really, that kind of,
first one and second one

are, kind of, all conflated
into one thing.

And then we had this glorious,
kind of, golden moment

of shooting in Vancouver
for the last film.

I'm so, so happy it turned out
that way, you know?

Everybody was away
from their families,

so something very beautiful
happened, where...

we all just sort of
just came together.

Look up!

Whoa, dude!

- Look down!
- Oh, shit.

Look down.

He surprised me
every time.

He spoke about something,
I thought, you know,

"What a bright,
intelligent human being."

Anton and me and Sofia,

every weekend,
would be out on the sailboat

in the harbor in Vancouver.

Anton was the only one
with his hoodie and his,

sort of, moon boots,
wearing on the boat,

and there was no way
he would want...

the water would touch him.

He was so particular
and so interesting.

I have this great picture of...

Me on the boat,

I'm falling asleep
on Anton's lap.

And Anton
is with his, like, sweatshirt,

and I can tell he's like,
"Goddamn it."

I've probably had been asleep
for like an hour on his lap,

but he doesn't want to move me.

That's really cute,
I got that one.

There is this thing,

you pretend to be...

a family over a number of years,

and at some point,
you kind of are.

He was on a full...

explorer's bent,
that last summer.

It was like a lot of mushrooms.

He was definitely pushing
the boundaries of, you know,

reality, and going on
major long walks

and got a little intense
after a while.

But it all seemed like
it was in the spirit of...

I don't know, seeking.

Who am I?

Let it holler from the throat
into the world.

The void from which like
a screaming contorted demon

you return empty-handed,
eyes pleading.

We had had like, uh,

two and a half weeks off
before we had to go to Dubai.

And he just really did not...

He looked skinnier than usual.

And he was coughing a lot more.

Just, we were
all worried about him.

He was scared. I saw him scared.

I felt him scared.

I remember he said,

"Oh, god, I got to start

taking better care
of my health."

He didn't want to worry
his mother, you know?

Mamoola, how are you?

I miss you.

I've been going nonstop in a way since I left for Dubai,

so it's starting
to catch up with me.

Paris is beautiful as always,
but I miss LA.

Paris is pretty,
but it is not home.

Besides,
I should really learn French.

Miss you, love you, Antosha.

And ended up
being in a hospital.

That's when it really hit me,
and I was like,

my friend could... you know,
you know, uh...

you know, he's not meant
for this Earth,

as long as...

you know, than what they "deem"
the normal life expectancy is.

I don't know.
I feel like sometimes,

I feel like he just...
maybe he knew.

He was just pushing,
pushing, pushing.

Finding, finding, finding,
exploring.

There was a lot of courage
and bravery, and...

which he didn't really see,
I don't think, in himself.

But from an outside perspective,

it was so clear
that he just, you know...

It just occurred to me

there was this scene
that we shot in London,

was this kind of breakup scene

where he was
about to come back to the States

and she was staying there.

I wanted to set it
in a cemetery.

So, we were walking around
this cemetery,

they were having
this conversation,

we were doing this scene,

and then
in the middle of the scene,

Anton was just like, "I don't...
I don't want to be here."

I don't know.

I don't like walking
on people's graves.

We're not walking
on people's graves.

- We are.
- This is the bit

in between the graves.

No, I don't like this.
I don't like this.

And Felicity is trying
to do the scene

in the scene,
and we're shooting,

and she's like,
"Oh, no, let's stay,

let's talk, let's sit down."

And he's like,
"No. No, I gotta go. I gotta go"

This is freaking me out.

Really? Why?

I don't know.

I forgot about it.

And then, after watching it,
I was like,

"Oh, my god!" He was so
in tune to this frequency.

He had this radar for energy,

and for feeling and stuff.

And he was just in touch
with that side

of the universe in a way.

He started reading
other people with CF

and felt very disturbed.

Hi, Mary,
I've been feeling up and down.

Increased airway clearance
right now to four times a day.

My folks have been doing
the percussion on my side

and my back
one to two times a day.

I've been exercising
a minimum of 45 minutes a day.

Got to get it into
this idiot brain of mine

that I have to fight this thing.

Had a really heavy feeling night a few days back

where I looked up CF
on Instagram

and I saw the kids
that are fighting so hard

and proud to do it.

Calling themselves fighters,
and I was really moved.

I've always wanted to shy away
from feeling proud

that I fight this thing
all the time,

so I've avoided fighting it.

But I've got to be proud,
and I've got tell myself

that most people never have to deal with this sort of stuff.

And I should be proud of myself
that I man up and do,

as long as
I actually man up and do.

And if I don't, that's a crime
against the potentiality

and against all those that do.

Anyway, ranting.

Thank you again
for all your help.

Speak soon, Anton.

And then he would look at me,
and he'd say,

"Mamoola.

Please do not worry.

It's okay, I can handle it.
Trust me."

I am Gustav Klimt!

When Anton
was in the hospital, he said,

"We've got to do
something here."

And we sat down,
and we said, you know,

"These are the three things

that I want to concentrate
for this week."

And when I came back, he goes,

"I did one, two, and three,

and I thought
I would do number four

just because
I thought it would be good."

And you could see

his sense of pride
and his sense of,

"Oh, my gosh,
I've got this under control.

I can go back to work now."

When we were filming,
I remember thinking to myself,

"Huh?

You know, this feels like
a slightly different Anton than,

than I've hung out with before."

You know,
the mind forgets things...

for a reason.

I remember Dinklage
coming up to me and just going,

"Whoa." You know?

Just sitting opposite that,

and you can feel the intensity
off of Anton in those scenes.

But as soon as I yelled "cut,"

it was just like this cloak
lifted off of him,

and it was back
to "Laughing Anton."

How freaking cool is that?

Oh, my god!
Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

Oh, dude!

You know what this means, right?

You have
a sacred responsibility here!

That's what they said!

You have to use
these new powers...

The sense
that you got from Anton

was intensity, intelligence,

and at the same time,
you have the sense

that he was living.

You knew he was an artist,
you know?

He was, he was
a wild one. I was a wild one.

We were both, kind of,
coming to a space of...

trying to connect the people
that we used to be,

with the people
that we were becoming.

And he was, he was
very interested in creating,

um, life movie moments.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Yes, I have a gun.

- Multiple guns?
- "Multiple guns"?

No! One. One gun.

What am I, fucking Rambo?

I think we were
witnessing this shift in him.

He was right at that moment
of huge transition in his life.

You know, the way
he talked about things,

it was, it was different.
It was gaining momentum.

There were no boundaries
between his...

between his modes
of creative expression.

They just all folded
into one another.

I play the bass player
in the band.

Uh, and so, Jeremy and I

always talked about
the fact that, someone,

and if there's one person
in a band that could die,

and you could still play
the show,

it would be the bass player.

You know? And that's kind of
how his personality is.

I mean he's just kind of the one that studies everything.

Do you like
watching yourself on screen?

I don't like watching myself

- on screen at all.
- Right.

But I do like
watching the film.

Yeah. -I wish I was at a place

where I could be so enlightened
that I could just say,

"Well, the experience
was all that matters."

He had been working
so much that last year

and been just battling
and just dealing

with so much stuff.

And so, Ryan, him, and myself
go on a trip together to London.

It was like the first time
in a really long time,

I felt like we were just kids.

Forget the Tate Modern
or the National Gallery,

I want shoes! I want glasses!

- What else do you want?
- I want suits, suits, suits.

- What else?
- Bags!

Lots of bags.

- What about...
- Jewelry.

You know,
we "lurked" around London.

I just remember being
at the National Gallery,

and he stood
in front of this painting.

Anton wouldn't move.

Ian and I walked around
like three more rooms,

came back 20 minutes later,

and he's still staring
at this painting.

We were having
these really heavy conversations

about Cystic Fibrosis
and his disease,

and he definitely was
at a point in his life

that he wanted to find a way
to talk about it.

This could inspire people
that are going through it

to know that, you know,
you're able to live a life,

and you deserve to be able to do
whatever you want to do,

and accomplish whatever goals
you want to accomplish.

- I'm Anton.
- I'm Julie.

- Nice to meet you officially.
- Thanks for coming in.

- Yeah, officially seeing...
- I know.

- Is it okay if I sit here?
- Yeah. Yeah, and...

He was getting ready
to make his first real film.

His real directorial debut.

He had every shot written out
and planned to a T.

I went through
all the sort of,

behind-the-scenes pictures,

and so many of them are Anton
hovering over the DP's shoulder,

you know,
asking about the camera.

He was writing down
the model number.

And he would say, "That's what
I'm gonna shoot my film on!

"That's what I'm gonna shoot
my film on!"

...does everything.

You really are one of the few actors

who did the whole full range,

the logical consequence will be,

because I know you've been interested in that for a while,

will be directing
a film one day.

Yes.

The cinema should be a tool in which we explore these ideas

of the existential nature
of our existence

as human beings on this Earth.

And it should provide
questions and speculation,

and never mythologize
and offer answers.

I feel like
if I'm gonna make movies,

I want them, at least right now,

I want them to be...
to move in that direction.

He got the call saying,

"We got the money,
we're gonna shoot this thing."

And, um, his dreams
were coming true, you know?

Next tonight here,
to the stunning death

in Hollywood, a young actor,
a rising star

known for his work onStar Trek.

He was killed,
trapped between his SUV

and his driveway gate.

And it turns out, his Jeep

is one of hundreds of thousands
included in a recall.

Police
are saying it appears to be

a freak accident that killed
the 27-year-old actor

after friends found him pinned

between his
2015 Jeep Grand Cherokee

and a fence at his home.

Here's a guy
who struggled with his lungs

for as long as I knew him.

And he's pinned,
so he can't breathe.

Like, out of all...

all fucking things.

Out of all fucking things.

That's it?

And you go to the house,
and you look at the,

and you look at the gate,
and you're like,

"This little thing right here

caught the last moments
of my friend?

This little spot
in the universe?"

Looking at the physics
of the whole thing,

it was so, it was so...

It was like something
out of a bad horror movie.

You know, the kind of,
the random events

that had to occur
for this to happen

were just, were just...

cataclysmically unfair,
you know?

I kept saying,

"This better be some kind of
sick fucking joke.

And I swear to god,
the person that is doing this,

I'm going to beat
the ever living shit out of them

because this is not funny.

You can't take away him from us.

You can't take him away from me.

And you can't fucking do this."

He was taken way too soon,

there's no doubt about it.

It was a brutal way to go,

but in a weird way,
it's very Anton-esque.

That it's just,
he would show up at places,

and then he would look around,

and he was just gone.

I just think that
the human race has been cheated.

In a world
that moves on very quickly,

I don't want him ever
to be forgotten.

"Our dear, dear son,

We wish you
all the best life in this,

all your hopes, dreams, wishes,
prayers will come true.

Absolutely for sure,

because you deserve it."

I never,
I've never...

I mean,
everybody loves their children,

but I don't think anybody
really loved their child

like they loved Anton.

♪ Well, Mom, Mommy ♪

♪ I play the blues for you ♪

♪ Mom, baby,
Just like I used to ♪

♪ Well, it's a long time comin' But it's finally here ♪

♪ Mom, baby, want you near ♪

♪ Mommy, Mommy
I'll play the blues for you ♪

♪ Well, Mom, Mommy ♪

♪ I play the blues for you ♪

♪ Well, Mama, baby,
Tell ya how much I love you ♪

♪ Well, it's a long time comin' But it's finally here ♪

♪ Mom, baby, want you near ♪

♪ Mommy, Mommy,
I'll sing the blues ♪

♪ For you ♪

♪ The sun ♪

♪ Shines ♪

♪ Below me ♪

♪ Below me ♪

♪ The sun ♪

♪ The sun, it shines ♪

♪ Shines below me ♪

♪ Below me ♪

♪ There's no use tellin' you ♪

♪ Just no use tellin' you ♪

♪ How I feel ♪

♪ How I feel ♪

♪ You're just gonna make up ♪

♪ Just gonna make
Your face up in ♪

♪ Tears ♪

♪ Tears ♪

♪ You're just gonna make up ♪

♪ Just gonna make
Your face up ♪

♪ In tears, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Yes, I'm below, the sun ♪

♪ Shines ♪

♪ Below me ♪

♪ Below me ♪

♪ Below me ♪