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{\an8}(theme music playing)
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{\an8}CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
3
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{\an8}(bell ringing)
4
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,275
{\an8}(whistle blows)
5
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:30,822
{\an8}(beeping)
6
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,620
{\an8}(playing the blues)
7
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{\an8}(jazzy solo)
8
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,506
{\an8}(chimes)
9
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:53,970
{\an8}(tires screeching)
10
00:00:58,850 --> 00:00:59,851
{\an8}(honking horn)
11
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,315
{\an8}D'oh!
12
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,649
{\an8}(screaming)
13
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,734
{\an8}(tires screeching)
14
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:26,836
{\an8}And then,
the handsome prince realized
15
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,631
{\an8}he had to go
to the bathroom really bad.
16
00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:32,759
{\an8}But the evil ogre, Barney,
had left the men's room
17
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,552
{\an8}in the most wicked condition.
18
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:37,931
{\an8}So, the prince went out back
to the enchanted alley...
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00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,766
{\an8}That's not a fairy tale.
It's something
20
00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,309
{\an8}that happened to you at Moe's.
21
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:43,186
{\an8}Shh! Anyway, the prince
22
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,021
{\an8}passed out for a hundred years
23
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:48,691
{\an8}until he was awakened
by the kiss of a noble raccoon.
24
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{\an8}And thank you, God
25
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,778
{\an8}for the bad things adults do
26
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,197
{\an8}which distract attention
from stuff I'm doing.
27
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,490
{\an8}Amen.
28
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:56,574
{\an8}He's also thankful
29
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:57,909
{\an8}for your bounty, Lord.
30
00:01:57,992 --> 00:01:59,327
{\an8}Good save, Mom. 'Night.
31
00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:00,745
{\an8}Sweet dreams, honey.
32
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,163
{\an8}Uh, Mom?
33
00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:04,707
{\an8}Will you help me
with my project?
34
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,376
{\an8}I need to make a working model
35
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,836
{\an8}of the digestive system.
36
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,254
{\an8}Of course, honey.
37
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,797
{\an8}Thanks. It's due tomorrow.
38
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,383
{\an8}Tomorrow?!
Well, that's too bad, mister.
39
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,677
{\an8}I'm not going to bail
you out this time.
40
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,804
{\an8}You're right, Mom. I understand.
41
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,641
{\an8}All right.
I'll get you the materials
42
00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:22,976
{\an8}but you're building it.
43
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,060
{\an8}OK.
44
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:26,980
{\an8}Oh, I'll make the whole thing.
45
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:31,901
{\an8}OK, paper-mache mix,
pipe cleaners,
46
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,071
{\an8}pig intestines and sparkle paint.
47
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,198
{\an8}You're a lifesaver, Apu.
48
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,033
{\an8}All the other stores are closed.
49
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,369
{\an8}(gasps) At 11:30?
50
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:44,372
{\an8}But this is the peak hour
for stoned teenagers
51
00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:45,748
{\an8}buying shiny things.
52
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,834
{\an8}Whoa!
53
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:50,420
{\an8}It's a living mirror!
54
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,046
{\an8}Cool hat!
55
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,631
{\an8}I'm glad you're always here.
56
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,134
{\an8}But isn't it a little
rough on your marriage?
57
00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:57,886
{\an8}You know, Manjula understands.
58
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,680
{\an8}I told her that endless toil
is the only true path
59
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,390
{\an8}out of this jerkwater burg.
60
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:04,100
{\an8}Well, when you have a free night,
61
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,019
{\an8}we'd love to have you two
over for dinner.
62
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:07,854
{\an8}Oh, please, do not be insane.
63
00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:09,439
{\an8}You hosted our wedding!
64
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,275
{\an8}The least we can do
is have you over for dinner.
65
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:14,527
{\an8}It is payback time, and this time...
66
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,321
{\an8}it's personal.
67
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,616
{\an8}(humming)
68
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,827
{\an8}Wow! That looks great, Mom!
69
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,078
{\an8}Some of your best work.
70
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,163
{\an8}(gurgling)
71
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,707
{\an8}Oh, it sounds so real!
72
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,542
{\an8}I didn't turn it on yet.
73
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:30,793
{\an8}(gurgling)
74
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,297
{\an8}Uhh, oh, I'm never eating
75
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,798
{\an8}chili again.
76
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,008
{\an8}Ooh, chili!
77
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,894
{\an8}Nelson, what are you doing?
78
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:49,520
{\an8}I'm solving world hunger.
79
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,398
{\an8}-(gurgling)
-BART: Hey, you're wrecking it.
80
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,445
{\an8}What the-- look out!
It's gonna blow!
81
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,365
{\an8}-(all screaming)
-(bursts)
82
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:02,909
{\an8}ALL: Ew!
83
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,621
{\an8}-I hope you're happy, Nelson.
-Very.
84
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:09,540
{\an8}But I can't help wondering
where I go from here.
85
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:11,751
{\an8}Stop worrying, Apu.
86
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,670
{\an8}The Kwik-E-Mart is in good hands.
87
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,672
{\an8}I'm not checking up on you, Sanjay.
88
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,173
{\an8}I am simply asking you
89
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,259
{\an8}how many pennies you have left.
90
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,094
{\an8}(gasps)
Seven? I'll be right there.
91
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,179
{\an8}No, he won't.
92
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,889
{\an8}Apu's entertaining tonight.
93
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,850
{\an8}If you need pennies,
take them from Jerry's jar.
94
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,104
{\an8}-Oh!
-This is why I married you.
95
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,439
{\an8}Ooh, what an outfit!
96
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,150
{\an8}You are one hot mama!
97
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,235
{\an8}You think so?
98
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:38,695
{\an8}I can't let you in the store
99
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,321
{\an8}like that
because you are smoking.
100
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,407
{\an8}Oh! Apu.
101
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,076
{\an8}(doorbell ringing)
102
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,911
{\an8}Maybe we should not
103
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,329
{\an8}-answer it, huh?
-(door creaks)
104
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,414
{\an8}Door's unlocked.
105
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,124
{\an8}Oh, Marge, Homer,
106
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:52,250
{\an8}welcome!
107
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,668
{\an8}Yes, welcome.
108
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,962
{\an8}What a lovely home!
109
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,548
{\an8}Oh, you are too kind, Marge.
110
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,926
{\an8}I am sure you have noticed
the many small imperfections
111
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,386
{\an8}that fill me with shame.
112
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,680
{\an8}Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
113
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:10,518
{\an8}If anything, your home
makes me ashamed of my home.
114
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,979
{\an8}Well, let us just say
we both feel bad.
115
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,063
{\an8}Deal.
116
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,148
{\an8}Who is your favorite
117
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,357
{\an8}Indian pop singer?
118
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,651
{\an8}Oh, don't make me choose.
119
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,653
{\an8}Shankar, Shankar.
Oh, here we go.
120
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,782
{\an8}(frenetic high-pitched wailing)
121
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,701
{\an8}-Oh, sorry.
-(music slows down)
122
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:30,538
{\an8}♪ You make me feel so young ♪
123
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:34,000
{\an8}♪ You make me feelso spring-sprung ♪
124
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:40,465
{\an8}Good rice, good curry,
good Gandhi, let's hurry.
125
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:46,804
{\an8}Mmm, this is delicious! What's in it?
126
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,431
{\an8}Chickpeas, lentils and rice.
127
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:49,891
{\an8}And what's in this?
128
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,893
{\an8}-Chickpeas and lentils.
-Try it with rice.
129
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:54,812
{\an8}I'm so glad we were able
to get together.
130
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,647
{\an8}Well, you know how hard it is
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00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:59,275
{\an8}to pry these two away from work.
132
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,651
{\an8}(chuckling) Oh, yeah.
133
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,528
{\an8}Homer's a real go-getter.
134
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:03,905
{\an8}(laughing) Yeah.
135
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:05,490
{\an8}I'm going right to the top.
136
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,034
{\an8}(beeping)
137
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,871
{\an8}Hmm, what's an "eltdown"?
138
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,206
{\an8}Eh.
139
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,124
{\an8}I don't understand, Marge.
140
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,211
{\an8}Doesn't Homer work a standard
18-hour day?
141
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,504
{\an8}Eighteen hours?
142
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:20,838
{\an8}Nobody works that hard...
143
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,215
{\an8}(clears throat) Mmm-mmm.
144
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,884
{\an8}But he does work every day, right?
145
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:26,844
{\an8}Well, pretty much.
146
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,221
{\an8}Except weekends.
147
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:31,057
{\an8}Wee... kends?
148
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,810
{\an8}Uh, say, who's up
for a game of Ganesh-Gnop?
149
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,105
{\an8}You told me it was
an American tradition
150
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:39,399
{\an8}to work all the time
and never see your wife.
151
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,901
{\an8}Yes, perhaps
I stretched the truth a bit,
152
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,320
{\an8}but the Kwik-E-Mart
is a harsh mistress.
153
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,155
{\an8}I think you just
don't want to see me!
154
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,908
{\an8}Eh! Maybe we should just
close the door.
155
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,121
{\an8}(arguing in Indian)
156
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,294
{\an8}(arguing continues)
157
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,587
{\an8}Maybe we should leave.
158
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:02,672
{\an8}Uh-oh, no way.
159
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:04,006
{\an8}I don't want to miss a word.
160
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,633
{\an8}You don't know what they're saying.
161
00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,009
{\an8}I'm picking it up.
162
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,720
{\an8}Sala seems to mean jerk,
163
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,765
{\an8}and I think Manjula means
some kind of spaceship.
164
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,476
{\an8}Uh, this could take a while, folks.
165
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,769
{\an8}Thank you. Come again.
166
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,897
{\an8}I hope we didn't get Apu
in too much trouble.
167
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,275
{\an8}Aw, they're newlyweds.
They'll talk things out
168
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,110
{\an8}and top it off with some loving.
169
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,239
{\an8}-Oh, dear.
-Hmm!
170
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,286
{\an8}(car honking)
171
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:34,745
{\an8}MARGE: Either put the book down
172
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:35,872
{\an8}or let me drive.
173
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,794
{\an8}HOMER: Hey, they stole our idea.
174
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,671
{\an8}-See? Look.
-MARGE: Ooh!
175
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:44,755
{\an8}(tires screeching)
176
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:51,637
{\an8}"I cherish you, my precious."
Uh... Nah.
177
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,931
{\an8}"You're a heck
of a blacksmith."
178
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,476
{\an8}Nah, I already got him one.
179
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,436
{\an8}"You're a-peeling"
180
00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:00,146
{\an8}"Let's never split!"
181
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:02,273
{\an8}(laughing)
182
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,901
{\an8}That's funny
'cause they're monkeys.
183
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,237
{\an8}So long, rejects.
184
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,530
{\an8}(grunting)
185
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,865
{\an8}Stupid cards.
186
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,704
{\an8}Morning, Apu.
187
00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:18,372
{\an8}Still in hot water
with the squaw?
188
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,082
{\an8}Worse than ever, I'm afraid.
189
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,501
{\an8}My shameful neglect
190
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,127
{\an8}has made her feel unloved.
191
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,962
{\an8}Now I fear she will leave me.
192
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:28,508
{\an8}Oh, she's not going to leave you
right before Valentine's Day.
193
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,343
{\an8}That would be like going
to an air show
194
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,261
{\an8}and leaving before the plane crash.
195
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:33,930
{\an8}Oh, you are right.
196
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,097
{\an8}There's still seven days
197
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,307
{\an8}before Valentine's.
198
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,059
{\an8}Ah! Seven chances to prove
199
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:39,685
{\an8}my love for sweet Manjula.
200
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,813
{\an8}(slurps)
Sweet mint julep...
201
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,106
{\an8}I'll be at Moe's.
202
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:47,693
{\an8}Hmm?
203
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:52,448
{\an8}(growling and whimpering)
204
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,783
{\an8}Come on, boy, come on.
205
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,244
{\an8}Dad, the vet says
we shouldn't make him
206
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,620
{\an8}fetch the Sunday paper.
207
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:58,913
{\an8}(whimpering)
208
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,999
{\an8}Good dog. Good doggie.
209
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,918
{\an8}"Tax hike approved."
210
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,753
{\an8}Bad dog. Bad, bad dog.
211
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,380
{\an8}(whimpering)
212
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,674
{\an8}Now to trim away the fat.
213
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,008
{\an8}"Outlook." Ugh!
214
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,260
{\an8}"Vista." No.
215
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,220
{\an8}"Spotlight." Ugh! "Mosaic." Nah.
216
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,223
{\an8}I'd love to look at "Scullery
Week" if you're through.
217
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:19,225
{\an8}Oh! Sorry, Marge.
That's in my stockpile.
218
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,768
{\an8}You can have this.
219
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,937
{\an8}This is about investment opportunities
220
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,021
{\an8}in Yemen.
221
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,106
{\an8}Give me that!
222
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,857
{\an8}All right, the personals.
223
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,568
{\an8}Hmm... (humming)
224
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,152
{\an8}"Successful mayor-type
225
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,613
{\an8}seeks open-minded, discreet
cheerleader-type."
226
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,156
{\an8}Oh, that's sweet.
227
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,534
{\an8}Ah, here's one.
"Desperately seeking suction--"
228
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,077
{\an8}Hey, look at this one!
229
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,662
{\an8}(gasping) It's a poem.
230
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,706
{\an8}(gasps) From Apu!
231
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,708
{\an8}Well, don't just gasp. Read it.
232
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,751
{\an8}"My darling bride, Manjula.
233
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,712
{\an8}I hereby mend my ways.
234
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:49,755
{\an8}I'll shower you with Valentines
235
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:52,174
{\an8}for seven love-filled days."
236
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,218
{\an8}Oh, how romantic!
237
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,345
{\an8}I used to take out ads like that
238
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,055
{\an8}when we were newlyweds.
239
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:01,142
{\an8}The only ad you took out
was to sell our lawnmower.
240
00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,477
{\an8}We sold it, didn't we?
241
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:08,149
{\an8}(both grunting)
242
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:13,195
{\an8}Until last night, I never knew
Apu could be so romantic.
243
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,072
{\an8}I can't believe it.
244
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,407
{\an8}He covered your whole bed
245
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,409
{\an8}with wildflowers!
246
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,995
{\an8}Oh, I'm sure Homer has
done that for you.
247
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,914
{\an8}Hmm. Sometimes I find pickle
slices in the sheets.
248
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:27,793
{\an8}And he says I've got
six more surprises coming.
249
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,838
{\an8}I feel like the luckiest
woman in Springfield.
250
00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:32,757
{\an8}-(squawking)
-(screams)
251
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,717
{\an8}-Oh!
-(squawks)
252
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,135
{\an8}♪ He loves the nightlife ♪
253
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:37,887
{\an8}♪ He loves Manjula ♪
254
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,056
{\an8}♪ The man they call Apu ♪
255
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,807
{\an8}♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ (squawks)
256
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,018
{\an8}He has trained a bird to sing to me.
257
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,978
{\an8}Limo out front. Tickets to opera.
258
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,438
{\an8}Front row loge. (squawks)
259
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,606
{\an8}(groans)
260
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,358
{\an8}Just once, I'd like a parrot
261
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:51,609
{\an8}to say that to me.
262
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,112
{\an8}Then the bird sang
"I Love the Nightlife"
263
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,864
{\an8}with clever new lyrics.
264
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:58,574
{\an8}Ugh! I hate that song.
265
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,660
{\an8}I do, too, but it was sweet.
266
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:04,205
{\an8}Women really like that
sort of thing, Homie.
267
00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:05,706
{\an8}Don't worry, honey.
268
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,376
{\an8}I got something
really special planned
269
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:09,960
{\an8}for Valentine's Day.
270
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,629
{\an8}It's not that monkey card
271
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,381
{\an8}I found in the car, is it?
272
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,800
{\an8}Wouldn't you like to know?
273
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:17,843
{\an8}(groans)
274
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,351
{\an8}A chocolate husband!
275
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,770
{\an8}Oh, how darling!
276
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:30,064
{\an8}APU (muffled): Help! I can't breathe!
277
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,484
{\an8}Oh, Apu!
278
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:36,237
{\an8}Oh, you are the sweetest
filling of all.
279
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,823
{\an8}(panting)
Air... I need air.
280
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,116
{\an8}Oh, Apu!
281
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,326
{\an8}Oh! My ears are filled with nougat.
282
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,661
{\an8}Oh, dear!
283
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,204
{\an8}There's a nut in my eye.
284
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:49,375
{\an8}So then, the second salesman
says, "That's OK.
285
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,794
{\an8}I just ate
all the hot buttered corn."
286
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,672
{\an8}(laughing)
287
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,173
{\an8}You like that one, baby?
288
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,634
{\an8}-Hmm.
-Sarah, what's wrong?
289
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,470
{\an8}Usually after two or three
truly tasteless jokes,
290
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,680
{\an8}you're all over me.
291
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:03,806
{\an8}Manjula got to see
292
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:04,890
{\an8}La bohème.
293
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,644
{\an8}Sarah, please.
Sarah, it's $10 a pill.
294
00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:12,648
{\an8}And so, with Valentine's Dayone day away,
295
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,109
{\an8}all eyes are on the local romeo
296
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:19,321
{\an8}whose seven-day gift-a-thonhas been delighting his wife
297
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,323
{\an8}and introubulating the rest of us.
298
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,909
{\an8}Reverend Timothy Lovejoysays he's counseled
299
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:27,580
{\an8}a number of disenchanted wives,including Maude Flanders.
300
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:32,334
{\an8}Everybody's marriage is falling
apart except ours.
301
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,712
{\an8}See? The problem's communication.
302
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,881
{\an8}Too much communication.
303
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:40,176
{\an8}Homer, I've gone through
seven years of receipts
304
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,094
{\an8}and you've spent less on gifts for me
305
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,597
{\an8}than you have on temporary tattoos.
306
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,682
{\an8}But Marge, it's worth it!
307
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,267
{\an8}Look, the Taco Bell dog.
308
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,393
{\an8}"Yo quiero ta..."
309
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,061
{\an8}Hey, where'd it go?
310
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,063
{\an8}Here, boy!
(whining)
311
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:55,274
{\an8}You just don't get it!
312
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:58,944
{\an8}(door slams)
313
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:03,115
{\an8}This Valentine's crap
has gone too far.
314
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,617
{\an8}(all agreeing)
315
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,119
{\an8}Edna won't even let me clap
her erasers.
316
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,872
{\an8}My Barbara
will no longer pleasure me
317
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,499
{\an8}with the French arts.
318
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,292
{\an8}The gal I'm stalking
had me bumped
319
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,710
{\an8}back to 200 feet.
320
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,837
{\an8}-MAN: Oh, Moe!
-That's too far.
321
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,881
{\an8}HOMER: And ask yourselves, people,
322
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,342
{\an8}who's to blame for all this?
323
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,177
{\an8}Well, I guess we are.
324
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:25,471
{\an8}I suppose I do take Maude
for granted.
325
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,889
{\an8}I've done some of that myself.
326
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,265
{\an8}Will you stop it?
327
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,518
{\an8}It's easy to blame ourselves,
328
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,145
{\an8}but it's even easier to blame Apu.
329
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,855
{\an8}He's making us look bad.
330
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,690
{\an8}(all agreeing)
331
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,360
{\an8}-[horse neighing]
- What's going on out there?
332
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:46,617
{\an8}(playing chamber music)
333
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,703
{\an8}Aw, geez he's got everything
but the Shriners.
334
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,832
{\an8}(beeps horn)
335
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,334
{\an8}Hey, watch it!
You're all over the road.
336
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,837
{\an8}We've got to stop that traitor Apu.
337
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,421
{\an8}-ALL: Yeah!
-That's right!
338
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,881
{\an8}Right after happy hour.
339
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,466
{\an8}(all agreeing)
340
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,885
{\an8}-BARNEY: I call side seat!
-MOE: Drinking will help us plan.
341
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,103
{\an8}Come on, Apu. Make your move.
342
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,189
{\an8}Maybe he's run out
of romantic ideas.
343
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,024
{\an8}Naw, not our lover boy.
344
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,609
{\an8}If I know his M.O.,
345
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,070
{\an8}he's saved the biggest one
for today.
346
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:26,574
{\an8}Ah gee, the man's just trying
to show his wife he cares for her.
347
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,701
{\an8}How could we sabotage
his labor of love?
348
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,786
{\an8}I don't know. Gasoline, axes--
349
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,371
{\an8}I got some stuff in the trunk.
350
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:33,998
{\an8}-Hey, there he goes.
-Let's roll.
351
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,711
{\an8}Uh, Homer, you're driving.
352
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,087
{\an8}Not yet, I'm not.
353
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,589
{\an8}You'll know when I'm driving,
354
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:42,798
{\an8}and it'll-- (shrieks)
355
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,384
{\an8}Tiffany's, eh?
356
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:46,552
{\an8}Yeah, looks like
357
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,095
{\an8}Smoochy's going to seal the deal
358
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,598
{\an8}with a diamond
the size of a doll's head.
359
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,516
{\an8}Aw, man, he's making us look like
360
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,268
{\an8}a bunch of cheapskates.
361
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:56,020
{\an8}Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose.
362
00:14:57,771 --> 00:15:00,566
{\an8}WIGGUM: There he is...
behind that shopping bag.
363
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:01,984
{\an8}A croissant? What the--
364
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,819
{\an8}Ah, that's right!
They have breakfast
365
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,029
{\an8}at Tiffany's now.
366
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:06,780
{\an8}Only till 11:00.
367
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:10,868
{\an8}So, that's it.
368
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,119
{\an8}The crazy nut!
369
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,829
{\an8}He went and bought her a sloop.
370
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,289
{\an8}Well, this is one love boat
371
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:17,708
{\an8}that won't delight and amuse.
372
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,044
{\an8}Wait, chief,
he's not purchasing a boat.
373
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,379
{\an8}Arr, it's kind of you
374
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,715
{\an8}to deliver these copies of juggs.
375
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:26,634
{\an8}They'll keep my men from resorting
376
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,385
{\an8}to homosexuality...
377
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,387
{\an8}for about ten minutes.
378
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,431
{\an8}(all laughing)
379
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:33,641
{\an8}Look who's talking.
380
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,142
{\an8}Arr.
381
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,977
{\an8}This is turning out to be
382
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,520
{\an8}a total waste of time.
383
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,855
{\an8}Not entirely.
384
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,698
{\an8}Aw, geez we've been
following him for hours.
385
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,533
{\an8}You know, with all the energy
386
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,702
{\an8}we're putting
into this sabotage thing,
387
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,996
{\an8}we could have written sonnets
for our wives
388
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,415
{\an8}or learned to tango
or lovingly restored
389
00:15:58,499 --> 00:15:59,583
{\an8}one of those antique...
390
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,210
{\an8}(yells) Ohh!
391
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,797
{\an8}Whew! At least I got a hunk
of Moe's hair.
392
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,340
{\an8}Man, that smarts!
393
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,219
{\an8}Oh, baby, we got him now.
394
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,179
{\an8}There's no escape from the airport.
395
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,390
{\an8}Oh, nuts! We lost him.
396
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,267
{\an8}I told you we shouldn't have
gone for long-term parking.
397
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,812
{\an8}Hey, look! It's Elton John!
398
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,438
{\an8}We had to make
an emergency landing.
399
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,440
{\an8}It's that damned chandelier again.
400
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:24,775
{\an8}Aah!
401
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,361
{\an8}What's he doing in Springfield?
402
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,737
{\an8}I got it. I got it.
403
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,114
{\an8}Apu must have hired him
404
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,782
{\an8}to sing for Manjula.
405
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:33,283
{\an8}Not if I can help it.
406
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,244
{\an8}And help it I might.
407
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,288
{\an8}Mr. John, I'm your biggest fan.
408
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:41,458
{\an8}I've tape-recorded
all your songs off the radio.
409
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,794
{\an8}Oh, that's very sweet!
410
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,879
{\an8}-Have a Grammy.
-Uh...
411
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,803
{\an8}Sir Elton, my noble friends
and I would like
412
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:53,887
{\an8}to dub you...
413
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,515
{\an8}a Knight of the Grand Concourse.
414
00:16:56,974 --> 00:17:00,561
{\an8}Yeah. It's for all
your charity work and, um...
415
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:04,690
{\an8}for, uh, you know,
teaching us, um, to love again.
416
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,859
{\an8}Really? I did that?
417
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:09,278
{\an8}How the hell should I know?
Just get in the cage.
418
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:13,449
{\an8}What? Oh, hazing the new guy, eh?
419
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,284
{\an8}You know, when I was dubbed
"Sir Elton,"
420
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,869
{\an8}the Queen paddled me silly.
421
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:18,996
{\an8}Hey, Apu's talking to a skywriter.
422
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,707
{\an8}So, that was his plan all along.
423
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,293
{\an8}If he writes a message
of love over Springfield,
424
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,794
{\an8}we're all screwed.
425
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:28,130
{\an8}ELTON: Hello? Lads?
426
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:29,923
{\an8}Don't forget your old pal, Elton.
427
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,550
{\an8}Can anyone hear me?
428
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,052
{\an8}Skycap?
429
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,014
{\an8}OK, here is the message,
430
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:40,517
{\an8}and please don't skimp on the...
sarin?
431
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:43,812
{\an8}Don't be frightened.
432
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,315
{\an8}That tank's just
Peace Corps surplus.
433
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,733
{\an8}HOMER: Not so fast, Apu!
434
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,861
{\an8}Homer!
What a delightful coincidence!
435
00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:53,781
{\an8}We're putting an end to your
insane Valentine's rampage.
436
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:57,159
{\an8}Never again will good, lazy men
have to-- What the...
437
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,911
{\an8}Oh, no, you don't!
438
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,955
{\an8}(panting)
439
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,546
{\an8}Hey, you with the scarf!
440
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:10,881
{\an8}Stop skywriting!
441
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:12,758
{\an8}I have to deliver a message.
442
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,760
{\an8}It's the skywriter's code.
443
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,471
{\an8}I am so sick of that damned code!
444
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:21,225
{\an8}If you won't stop, then I'll stop you!
445
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:22,601
{\an8}(grunting)
446
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:25,270
{\an8}What are you doing? Don't do that!
447
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:27,940
{\an8}(plane whirring)
448
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,860
{\an8}Oh, isn't that sweet?
449
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:35,155
{\an8}(sighs)
That must be for Manjula.
450
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:38,534
{\an8}Just once,
I'd like a love note in the sky.
451
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,035
{\an8}(chuckles)
452
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,954
{\an8}(grunting)
453
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,288
{\an8}Lousy message!
454
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,958
{\an8}You crazy fool, you'll kill us all!
455
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,876
{\an8}Correction, kill us both!
456
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,962
{\an8}(Homer grunting)
457
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:56,218
{\an8}I love you... it's an angel!
458
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,804
{\an8}Ooh, that's Neddy's pet name for me.
459
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:03,433
{\an8}I love you, poppin' fresh.
460
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,520
{\an8}Oh, Clancy! (laughs)
461
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,898
{\an8}I love you, Edna K.
It's a little run together,
462
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,108
{\an8}but that's what it says.
463
00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:14,903
{\an8}I love you... cactus?
464
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,948
{\an8}Blobby? Upsilon?
465
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,783
{\an8}Oh, who am I kidding?
466
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,077
{\an8}Homer would never
surprise me like that.
467
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,579
{\an8}(aircraft whizzing)
468
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,581
{\an8}MAN: Doggone it!
You ruined my message!
469
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,876
{\an8}What's the matter with you,
you crazy old buzzard!
470
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,461
{\an8}-Get off me!
-You're making me mad!
471
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,880
{\an8}-(both yelling)
-Oh, me!
472
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,590
{\an8}My humble love note is turning
473
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,925
{\an8}into a Valentine's Day massacre!
474
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,844
{\an8}You think you've got problems.
475
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,513
{\an8}I just chewed my way
out of a dog carrier.
476
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,557
{\an8}Oh! Elton John?
477
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:44,683
{\an8}That's my name.
478
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,476
{\an8}Well, not really.
479
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:49,188
{\an8}I hate to sound like
a screaming fan, but...
480
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:50,522
{\an8}(screams)
481
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,983
{\an8}That maniac nearly killed us.
482
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:55,527
{\an8}Shall I... take you to the pilot?
483
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,572
{\an8}Ha! You see,
because that is your song...
484
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,574
{\an8}-I heard you.
-Yes, because...
485
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,659
{\an8}someone saved your life tonight.
486
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,369
{\an8}-(laughs)
-Cut it out!
487
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:08,415
{\an8}Well, well, "The Bitch is Back."
(laughs)
488
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:09,583
{\an8}(exasperated sigh)
489
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,752
{\an8}Aah! Ow!
490
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,883
{\an8}Durn'it! Why won't you die?
491
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,051
{\an8}(yelling)
492
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:22,304
{\an8}Oh, prickers! (screaming)
493
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,639
{\an8}Huh? (gasps)
494
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,894
{\an8}(whimpering)
495
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,229
{\an8}(gasps)
496
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,608
{\an8}What in the world?
497
00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:37,027
{\an8}(groaning) Roses...
498
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:39,446
{\an8}So many roses.
499
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,865
{\an8}Just when I think
I have you figured out,
500
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:45,244
{\an8}you fall from the sky with roses.
501
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,578
{\an8}Roses...
502
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,623
{\an8}Oh, Homie!
Oh, they're beautiful!
503
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:54,461
{\an8}Oh, I'm going to snuggle
your brains out.
504
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:58,966
{\an8}Well, I think I have
a collapsed lung... but OK.
505
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:08,475
{\an8}♪ If I was a sculptor, hehBut then again, no ♪
506
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:12,229
{\an8}♪ Or a man who makes potions ♪
507
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:16,900
{\an8}♪ In a traveling show ♪
508
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:23,907
{\an8}♪ I know it's not muchbut it's the best I can do ♪
509
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:28,328
{\an8}♪ My gift is my song, yeah ♪
510
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:31,665
{\an8}♪ And this one's from Apu ♪
511
00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:34,001
{\an8}Oh...
512
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,961
{\an8}Oh, I can't believe it.
513
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,714
{\an8}You closed the Kwik-E-Mart
just for me.
514
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:41,049
{\an8}Well, you and the health inspector.
515
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,218
{\an8}Champagne squishy?
516
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,012
{\an8}Oh, thank you!
517
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:49,016
{\an8}It should get you
pretty darned hammered.
518
00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:00,235
{\an8}(theme music playing)
519
00:22:39,149 --> 00:22:40,859
{\an8}-(murmuring)
-Shh!
520
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:46,114
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services
38381
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