All language subtitles for The Nanny s05 e22

So, Dad, last day
as a free man.

No more wild nights,
no more wild women.

So basically,
same old, same old.

Like father, like son, eh?

[both chuckle]

Yeah.

-Your sister, sir.
-Oh, Jocelyn.

There's the groom.

Darling, handsome as ever.

[Niles clearing throat]

-Niles, you're always stunning.
-Oh, stop.

Press everything in my bag,
would you?

I said stop.

So where is she?
Where's mother?

Oh, she declined
the invitation.

Seems she despises
your fiancée.

What? That's ridiculous.
I talked to her the other day.
She said she adores Fran.

Abhors, darling.

I know it's horrid,
but you know Mummy.

She doesn't think anyone
has the class of a Sheffield.

Yeah, so?

In the short year
that I've been here,

I have added a certain element
of style and panache
to this house.

When did I eat corn?

Well, she loved
my late wife, Sara.

Oh, absolutely.

-She thought she
was a real stitch.
-Yeah, right.

She did say stitch?

Oh, Jocelyn,
I can't believe this.

My own mother
not coming to my wedding?

Well, fine.
Fine, see if I care!

I don't need her approval.

All right, maybe Fran
was a little rough
around the edges

in the beginning,

but after 5 years
of being exposed

to the finest things in life,
one grows.

You got the edible undies
in petite?

Oh, wouldn't this look
adorable on me?

Ma, I'm getting a little scared
just seeing it next to you.

-How are we doing on time?
-Oh, let's see.

Uh, nineteen hours
and ten seconds
till the big event.

-[exclaims]
-Well, what about
till the wedding?

[both] Ahh! [giggle]

Oh, good.
Oh, you got the piña colada
in petite. That's great.

Ma, wait till you see
the gorgeous negligee
that I ordered.

It is so... black?

Oh, no, no, no.
I ordered this in white.

No, I'm sorry.
They shipped it in black, hon.

But I ordered it
in white, doll.

No can do, babe.

Well, doll better do,
or babe will kill doll!

Everybody calm down.

Look, darling, my daughter
is getting married

in 19 hours
and nine seconds.

Is there something
that we could do

to expedite the situation?

Are you trying to bribe me
with a candy bar?

Half.

I'm sorry. There's nothing
I can do to help you.

The South Jersey store
can't ship till Monday.

You'll have to
take the black.

She can't wear friggin' black!
It's her wedding night!

She has to look
like a virgin.

I said look.

♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Til her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

We schlepped all the way
to Jersey for that negligee

and in two seconds,
he's gonna rip it off,

cover you with
chocolate Cool Whip
and ravage you.

Taking a little trip
to hotel vicarious, Ma?

So, Sylvia, do you remember
what you did the night
before your wedding?

Yeah. I dilated
three centimeters.

I know what
I'm gonna be doing.

Val's coming over,
we're gonna get manicures
and pedicures.

Ooh, and I got those
special strips that when
you tear them off your nose,

it cleans out
your whole pores.

Ooh!

I used the tape
from Daddy's toupee.

It works the same way.

Oh, I tell you,
this is just fabulous.

We're making
incredible time here.

There's nobody on the road
but us.

Oh, this shortcut of yours
is just brilliant.

Hold on! Hold on!

I just want to say that
I hate you so much right now.

You know?
It is so unwise for you
to turn on me right now

because last week,
the exact same thing
happened to that tire,

and I learned
how to change it.

-Oh, Val, you know
how to change a tire?
-Mmm-hmm.

I'm very impressed.

I don't know anything
about changing a tire,

except...

-Val?
-Yeah?

Is the spare tire over there?

Not so impressed with me
anymore, are you, Fran?

How could you not
replace the spare?

We're in the middle of nowhere.
What are we gonna do?

Well, I learned something.

I cannot go tinkle
with a raccoon watching me.

Sylvia, do you know anything
about patching a tire?

What do I know from tires?

Oh, I'll take care of it.

I don't believe you two.
Modern, liberated women
of the nineties.

You don't know
how to get a tire fixed.

Well, I don't care
what my mother says.

I know you're the one for me.

[Sara]She is the one
for you, Max.

-Sara?
-Hi, Max.

My God!

Have I completely lost it?

No. No, no, no.

And you are making
the right decision, Max.

That's why I came.

I want you to know
how happy I am for you.

Oh, you are?

Look at your eyes.

-Look at your smile.
-[both chuckle]

I love what
she's done for you.

Oh, I am so happy
to hear that, Sara,

because I am just
crazy about...

It's okay to love her, Max.

I love her, too.

Look at what she's done
for our children.

I will be grateful to her
for the rest of my life.

It's an expression.

Oh, Sara,
my darling, Sara.

Oh, when I lost you,
I couldn't handle anything,

especially the children.

And then, out of nowhere,
this meshuggener woman...

-It's an expression.
-[chuckles]

She... she came into our lives

and for the first time,
made us all smile again.

Okay, well, we gotta make
Maggie beautiful.

-Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
-Shut up, Brighton.

-Hey, be nicer to your sister.
-Why, because we're a family?

Yes, that's right.
And someday, your father's
gonna be old and sick.

You're gonna want him
to live with her.

-I wrote you a poem, Fran.
-You did?

"F" is for the fun
we have together,

"R" is for the rummy
that we play,

"A" is for the answers
to my questions,

and "N" is for the nasal things
you say.

We were in...
in the locker room
after gym.

And?

Fran, I'm smaller
than everyone else.

Smaller? How?

Just forget it.
It's too humiliating.

Well, what could be
so humiliating about being
smaller in a locker room?

Honey, you know,
if you don't want me to go
out with him, just say so.

I respect your feelings.

Well, I don't want you
to go out with him.

Well, then I won't
go out with him.

I love you and I'd never do
anything to hurt you.

I love you too, Fran.

Then please let me
go out with him!

I'm gonna grow old and die
waiting for your father.

Hello, sweetheart.

Do you like my party dress?
Lohmann, 70% off.

She'll never shop retail again.

Hi, Dad. Surprised?

-No tricks, Brighton.
-Best behavior.

All right.

Come on, Maggie.
Don't be shy, honey.

My God!

I had no idea how much
she looked like her mother.

Oh, I think you'd really
like her, Sara.

I do, Max.

Why do you think
I sent her to you?

You sent her to me?

And you heard her speak?

I thought she had a cold.

-[knocks]
-Is everything all right?

Niles! Niles, Come on in,
come on in.
Look who's here.

Who, sir?

He can't see me, Max.

Would you like a drink?

No, thanks.
It goes right through me.

No, I'm fine.
Thank you, Niles.

[both laugh]

Be happy, honey.

I'll always love you, Max.

And I'll always love you.

Right back at you, sir.

Oy!

Oy!

Stop!

I cannot move one more inch.

Oh, I am just so parched.
I need water.

Oy! I left the water
in the trunk.

Oh, well, that's genius, Val.

Now, which one of us
is gonna have to go
all the way back and get it?

Oh, fine, I'll go.

All right, Fran,
this is starting
to get really scary.

Remember that movie
we saw where those people
were starving,

so they started eating things
they wouldn't normally eat?

You mean the tape
of my bas mitzvah?

No.

I mean the movie
where they started
eating each other.

Oh, well, fortunately, we've got
an all-you-can-eat buffet

pulling up the rear.

You're gonna be hungry
until you get a mind-set.

You gotta block out
all thoughts of food
and pastry products.

You know, we've been walking
for 3 hours.
How can you not be hungry?

Ma, did you eat
my edible underwears?

Maybe.

Ma, we were gonna
ration my undies.

I was nervous.
You know I always eat
when I'm nervous.

Nervous, happy,
sad, swimming.

Well, if no one is gonna
have any more of the cake,

I'm gonna put it away.

Oh, that's good.

-Out of sight, out of mind.
-Smart, yeah, Ma.

Very smart.

Oh! Stop her! Stop her!
She's got the cake!

Oh, my God!
I'm having palpitations.

Quick, get me my medicine!

-Darling, what's wrong?
-[chuckles]

Oh, nothing.
I just need to be with
my daddy right now.

Oh, why, sweetheart?

Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

I know, I know.
Isn't it awesome?
I knew that you would love it.

No! No, no, no.

That was a shocked
and horrified
"Oh, my God!"

It's bloody awful!

Well, I'm sorry, Dad,
but I'm 18 years old now

and I can make
my own decisions.

Ms. Margaret, your hair.

It makes you look
so much younger.

No one will ever
believe you're 18.
I love it.

Well, I hate it,
and I'm going back blond.

She's easier to work
than a Muppet.

Since you're feeling so clever,

maybe you can help me with
a rather delicate situation.

Oh, sir,
who cares if your mother's
not coming to the wedding?

Ms. Fine has more class
than she'll ever have.

Isn't it interesting
how you knew of it

before I told you
about the delicate situation?

Sir, that haircut
makes you look
three years younger...

Knock it off.

Do you think I should
tell Fran my mother's
not coming to the wedding?

Well, sir, if I've waited
this long to tell her,

I should think
it's the least you could do.

[telephone ringing]

Yes, hello?

Oh, Mrs. Toriello, How...

What?

Well, where?

Well, yeah, I just got a pen.
Hang on.

Val, Fran, and Sylvia
haven't come back
from New Jersey

and now their car's been
found abandoned
on the side of the road.

-Oh, dear.
-Yes. Yes, Mrs. Toriello,
I'm here.

All right, good.
I'm on my way.

Don't worry, Mrs. Toriello,

I'm sure everything
is just fine.

Yes, I'm sure
you're right, sir.

They're very resourceful
women.

I'm telling you,
it's gonna work.

Remember that nature program
we saw

where those bears
made a spout in the tree,

so syrup would come out
so they could eat?

Val, those bears were
Yogi and Boo-Boo.

I cannot believe this.
This is the night
before my wedding

and I'm stuck on the side
of the road,
in the middle of nowhere

with you, my mother,
and that stupid snake.

-[gasps] Snake!
-A snake!

[all yelling]

-I hate snakes.
-I hate snakes.

-Oh, my God!
-Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, a call box!

A call box!

A call box!
Oh, my God, a call box!

Forget it, Fran,
I'm all out of quarters.

You don't need quarters
for a call box, Val.

Well, I wish you would have
told me earlier.

We could have used the one
next to the car.

-Hello?
-Hello?

Hello, hello.

Is there a problem?

[Fran]I'll say
there's a problem.

We're stuck out here
in the middle of nowhere.

I'm supposed to be getting
married in less than 14 hours.

And we're starving to death
because my mother
ate my underwears.

All right, why don't
all of you stay calm?

We got your call box number.

We'll send someone out
to you in a few hours.

A few hours? No, no.
Sir, you don't understand.

I've waited five years
to marry this man.

And it's true we had
some problems
in the beginning.

Well, not we, but he.
But he did, he did.

My family loves him, and, well,
his mother adores me.

You know, it's really such
a beautiful story.

I mean,
some say it's pathetic,

but you know,
I'm going with beautiful.

So what you're really saying is
you feel terrible about
this whole damn thing,

And if you could,
you'd get down on your hands
and knees and apologize.

-Ms. Fine...
-Apology accepted.

Ma, pack my things.
He wants me back.

Smile!

Oh, thank you, Ms. Fine.

-Thank you, Thank you.
-Anytime, Mr. Sheffield.

Anytime.

I love you.

So, we agree then?

-Friends?
-Friends.

Fran. I love you.

Your father has something
he wants to share with you all.

I've told Ms. Fine I love her.

-What else is new?
-Oh, whatever.

Oh, oh, yes,
I didn't take it back.

Oh, congratulations!

Fran. [sighs]

Will you marry me?

What do you think?

[officer]Lady,
it's a beautiful story.

My heart goes out to you,

but I got one tow truck
and a wedding
is not an emergency.

You're how old?

I'll send a chopper.

-Oh, thank you, sir.
They're gonna come.
-Oh, thank God.

Oh, my God,
it's my son-in-law!

[Fran] Oh, God, don't look!

Don't look, honey,
you can't see me!

What happened? I got a call
from Val's mother.

They found the car.
I passed it down the road.

You know there's a call box
right next to--

You know what?
Let's not revisit that.

Oh, honey, I'm so happy
that you're here.

Oh, darling,
are you all right?

No, wait, wait, wait!
Stop! Stay where you are!

Remember,
you can't see me for 24 hours
before the ceremony.

Oh, Ma.

What's he wearing?

The cashmere.
He looks gorgeous.

Oh, I love the cashmere.

Ma, you're not wearing a bra?

In case I die, I'm gonna
go free and happy.

Oh, sweetie, go run over
and pull the car here,

but whatever you do,
don't look at me.

Darling, darling,
it's a 2-hour drive.

How can I possibly
not look at you?

Just keep your eyes
fixated on me.

It'll be like a glimpse
into the future.

Now, come here, sweetie,
And give us a hug.

Mmm! You know,
this edible underwear
is not all that bad.

Ma, that's not
the edible ones!

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]