All language subtitles for The Nanny S04 E11

[♪♪♪]

Has anyone seen
my tropical getaways brochure?

You know, B,
you didn't have to
steal it.

I was gonna donate it
to the library

under your mattress.

Wait a minute.
This isn't my trig
book.

Yeah.

Ugh. Guys come up
with the lamest excuses.

Oh yeah, like when you told me

that you had the whisker burn
all over your face

from kissing my mother. Hello.

Fran, that really happened.

Oh, well,
I'll give you that one.

C.C.:
Well I wish I could get away
for the holidays,

but I just have so much work do.

Cheers.
Gotta keep that nose so
bright.

Don't you guide his sleigh
that night?

[LAUGHS]

[COUGHS]

I've gotta get
that flu shot.

Fran, does this mean

that you won't be with us
for Christmas?

No, sweetie,
your father and I

are taking separate vacations
this year.

You know,
sometimes when two people

spend a lot of time together,

and one's not willing
to commit...

the other has
to take the money

that she would've spent
on her trousseau,

and drown her sorrows
in Bahama Mamas.

You know, it's okay, Fran.

It's not like you and Daddy
are married or dating or--

Babbling, sweetie.

Miss Fine, this is ridiculous.

We don't have
to take separate vacations.

Look, I really think
that it'll be better
for us,

and I don't want to
argue about it,
'cause my mind's made up.

Well, it's a shame.

I was thinking of
chartering a yacht

and cruising
off the Greek islands.

Well, nothing's set in stone.

Well, I'd like to discuss this
with you in private.

If that's all right
with you two.

-Eh... you talking to me?
-Oh, did you say something?

Come on. Let's go to my office.

Whoa, Nellie.

Don't you know
it's terribly impolite

to listen in
on other people's
conversations.

This from the man who posed
for the RCA dog.

Now, let go of me.
I don't want to miss this.

All right, but be careful.
I just...

[C.C. SHRIEKS]

[THUD]

...waxed the floor.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing to the
Sheffield's door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪♪

♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪

I just don't understand why

you're suddenly taking
a separate vacation.

What is the big deal?

It's not like
we're one of those needy,
co-dependent couples

that have to spend every waking
moment with each other.

Right? Where are you going?

I just think the holidays
are a time for us to be
together.

Like a...
a warm loving family.

Well, I got news for you.
A warm loving family

requires a legally
binding certificate

registered with the state,
and Pottery Barn.

Besides, what is this
unnatural obsession

with you not wanting me
to take a vacation by myself?

[SCOFFS] Well, now I have
absolutely no idea
what you're talking about.

Oh, no?

I'm taking the entire family
on a cruise.

-Where you going?
-The Caribbean.

That's fabulous.

Just like me.

I know. We're coming with you.

What?

Now, Miss Fine,
wasn't it your idea

that Brighton should have
a big bar mitzvah-like to-do?

Yeah, bar mitzvah on land.

We're desert people.
We don't like to get wet.

That's why
we parted the Red Sea.

Oh, that. Well...

Why can't you just be honest,
Mr. Sheffield?

The reason why

you don't want me going
on a vacation alone

is because you are terrified
that I'm gonna meet someone.

Yes, you are always
sabotaging my dates.

Oh, that is ridiculous.

Every one of your dates
I've been on,

I behaved
like a perfect gentleman.

No, Maxwell,
you're welcome to join us.

Oh. Oh well, that sounds...

terribly inconvenient.
Couldn't possibly. Good night.

Are you sure?

Well, actually, uh...

-What kind of
car does he drive?
-A limo.

-Oh, Town Car?
-Stretch. It's enormous.

Bigger than mine?

Oy, if it's so important to
you,
whip yours out of the garage,

and we'll have
a limo-measuring contest.

All right, fine.

Take your vacation
at some tacky resort

with its tequila shooter night

and, oh, yes,
the big "Macarena" marathon.

For your information, this place
happens to be nothing like that.

It's very, very classy.

Oh, look, they've got
a strip limbo contest.

If that touches,
is he disqualified?

Maybe from the contest.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, my God.

-This is beautiful.
It's paradise.
-Oh, Fran, oh.

Hola

My name is Rico.

Please, ladies, after you.

Oh, well, you know, Rico,
in our country,

-it's customary
for the man to go first.
-Mmhmm.

Really?

God bless America.

-See, Fran, aren't you glad
you came with me?
-Huh, huh.

You wouldn't be able to
flirt with Rico

with Mr. Sheffield all over you,

dancing, smearing you
with baby oil,

taking you for
cocktails
at sunset.

You know Val,
this is why my mother

never wanted me
to play with you.

-Where's the paint?
-It's down there.

Why?

Well, you were in such
a rush to get up here,

-I felt so--
-It doesn't matter!

Let's just go down and get it.

Now, unlock your lever
when I say "three."

Have you got that, Val? Three.

[SCREAMS]
Oh, my God! Val!

Fran, look at all
these people.

We're never gonna get
on the first bus.

Oh, don't worry.
I'll take care of that.

Can you believe that gorgeous
two-bedroom apartment

on the corner there
for only 400 bucks a month?

Oh, Val, could you believe
how stupid those people--?

Val!

Oh, my God! A roach!
A roach!

Well, take your shoe
off
and kill it.

[SQUISHES]

Oh, Val!

-This breeze is just
fabulous.
-Oh, I know.

-Come on, let's get out of
these bulky clothes.
-Yeah.

PA ANNOUNCER:Attention guests,
a small tropical depression

might be heading for
the island.

So there will be free
cocktail
inside the Lido Pavilion.

-Free cocktails.
-Ooh! What's it called? Oh!
Oh!

PA ANNOUNCER:
Okay, that's cancelled.

Okay, get in!

[♪♪♪]

Mr. Sheffield,
a terrible
hurricane

is gonna hit the island
that Franny is on.

My baby is gonna die.

Oh, Sylvia.

Hold me.
Don't be such a Gentile.

Sylvia, I know. I've heard.

But it's... it's all--
It's gonna be all
right. Come on.

It's times like this
you look up to God

and ask, "Why? Why?"

Well, now,
we can't ask why, Sylvia.

It's nature. It's random. It's--

No. Why don't you
marry my daughter?

She'd be home safe with us
right now.

Now, Sylvia,
I appreciate you're upset,

but I'd prefer
not to discuss something

that's really
between Miss Fine and myself.

Make an exception.

How often am I here?

MAXWELL: Here they are,
Naomi and Wynonna.

Do I smell banana fritters
with fresh fruit compote?

No.

Could I?

Ma!

Miss Taylor,
I'd like you to meet my
mother.

Sylvia Fine.

This meeting
bestows an honor upon me

which is unparalleled
within my universe.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[HEAVY WIND BLOWING]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

I told them no salt!

[WIND STOPS]

-Oh, my God. Sun! Sun!
-Oh, sun!

-[BOTH GROAN]
-[WIND BLOWS]

-Did I get anything?
-No!

Oy, Fran, I'm scared.
This is like a real
hurricane.

Calm down, Val!

If it gets really bad,

we could always tie ourselves
to something sturdy!

-This will do.
-Oh, oh.

C.C.:If you hadn't waxed
the stupid floor,

this never would have happened.

Oh, come on,
don't be such a baby.

You're really
getting the hang of it.

[WHIRRING]

I'm hungry.

Well, it's your fault
for not showing up for lunch.

I was waiting in the dining
room
for hours.

But I served upstairs
in the solarium.

Why didn't you--? Oh.

You wouldn't be able
to torture me like this

if I wasn't in this chair.

But you are, Babs, you are.

-Coffee?
-Yes, please.

Ow!

This is ridiculous.

I don't know why that
stupid store doesn't
deliver.

Oh, they do.

Oh, dear,
I wonder if I can catch her.

Oh, Miss Babcock.

Maxwell, darling, is that you?

Shh.

[GENTLY]
Don't turn around.

[BLOWS AIR]

I'm yours.

Tell me what you want me to do.

[GENTLY]
Cluck like a chicken.

What?

It turns me on.

[CLUCKING]

[CLUCKING]

[CLUCKING]

[CLUCKING]

[CLUCKING]

[SCREAMS]

-Oh, get out of my way.
-Oh.

-[WHIRRING]
-Oh, oh, Niles.

Oh, God, this thing is stuck.
How do I stop it?

Hold on,
I'll get the
manual.

-MAXWELL:Niles, are you busy?
-Free as a bird, sir.

Niles!

Niles!

Niles!

REPORTER [OVER RADIO]:
Hurricane Diane continues
a path of destruction

and is bearing down
on the Caribbean. Stay
tuned.

Niles, I'm awfully worried.

What if she dies?

Oh, I'll feed her
eventually, sir.

I'm just screwing with her head.

I'm talking about Miss Fine.

What if something
happens to her?

She'll never know
how I feel about her.

No one knows.

No one kno--?

-[BANGS ON TABLE]
-Hello.

Niles, what am I gonna do?

These costumes
are gonna be ghastly.

Was C.C. right?

I mean, have I let my
judgment be impaired

by my feelings for Miss Fine?

-What feelings are those,
sir?
-Well, you know.

-No, I don't, sir.
-Oh, come on, Niles.

Oh, but you'd feel so much
better if you just said it.

Oh, perhaps you're right.

Maybe I should just admit that--

-Knock, knock.
-Oh, wait!

Why is she throwing herself
at him anyway?

I mean, it's not as
if she's never seen a
good-looking man before.

I've been known
to turn a few heads

in my time. Right, Niles?

You're a brick...

house.

Mighty, mighty.

What do I have to do
to convince her she's
desirable?

Well, sir, I'm sure
you'll think of something.

I mean, after all, you're a
man,
she's a woman.

Fill in the blanks.

The children are at school.

She's lying on the sofa.

And if all else fails,
what would Pierce Brosnan do?

[HEAVY WIND BLOWING]

I don't know, Val.

Oh, all right.
Sela Ward fromSisters.

Yes!

You are so good.

[CRACKLING]

You know what?
I'm gonna call
the family at home,

let them know
that
we're okay.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield
gave you his phone?

Gave, fell in my purse,
who remembers?

-[THUNDER RUMBLING]
-[BOTH GASP]

Val! Val, the room
is gonna cave in!

We're gonna die!

Shouldn't our life be flashing
before our eyes?

Val, we're over 30, single,
and in bed with each other.

What life?

[GLASS SHATTERING OUTSIDE]

-Oh, those poor children.
-Oh.

They're gonna be lost
without my love and attention.

Did you find out who it is yet?

Honey, what did I tell you
about snooping?

That there should always
be a lookout.

-Good. Go wait in the hall.
-Right.

A hickey, Maggie?
Did you really think

that you were gonna hide
a hickey from me

with a little pressed powder?

You need oil-based concealer.

Oh, just forget it.
It's too humiliating.

Well, what could be
so humiliating

about being smaller
in the locker room?

Master Willie is here
with his nanny.

Oh, now, honey,
you go make an entrance,

and check yourself
like I taught you.

I'm fine.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Well, I am never coming
back
to this place again.

I ordered room service
a half an hour ago.

Do you see a fajita?

[♪♪♪]

Get up. I saw you
through the window.

-Wait. Miss Fine, this idea
of taking separate vacations
-Mr. Sheffield.

-was a horrible idea.
-This was a lousy idea.

-I missed you dreadfully.
-I had a terrible time.

-I'm so glad you're back.
-Let's never do this again.

-What?
-What?

-Nothing.
-Nothing.

The fact is, you're safe,

and we're all together
for the holidays.

Yes, and I am never
leaving home again.

Unless, of course,
you're dying to take a trip,

then we can always
charter a yacht

around the Greek islands.

You know, Miss
Fine,
this will be

our fourth Christmas together.

It seems like only yesterday
you came knocking on our door.

-May I see your résumé, please?
-Oh, yeah, sure.

-Crayon?
-Lipstick.

Of course. What a lovely shade.

[LAUGHS]

I hate her.

-Now, Brighton,
let's not be hasty.
-Yeah.

I haven't even sung
"Climb Every Mountain" yet.

Miss Fine,
you seem to have listed

the queen mother as a reference?

What? Let me see that.

Oh, no.
That's not the queen mother.

That's my mother from Queens.

I can't believe
that was four years ago

and still I'm only
two years older.

You didn't think
I could handle this job,

but I turned out
to be quite a professional.

While you're here, tell me,
should I take this back?

Uh, I think
you should put it on.

I already had it on.
It flattens out my--

Oh, Mr. Sheffield!
Why didn't you say anything?

Well, I didn't notice.

You didn't-- You know,
I'm beginning to wonder
about you too.

Oh, I can't get it on.
I'm stuck.

-Help me. Help me.
-Relax, Miss Fine,
we'll get it on.

No, rip it out.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
I'm so hot.

I can't do this standing up.

Let's... let's get on the bed.

If you let me
tell Miss Babcock about this,

I'll work free for a year.

Miss Fine,
remember who signs your check.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I'm not gonna hit you with
this.

-[GASPS]
-Fake out.

Friends?

Oh, all right, friends.

Come here.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Look, stop
it!
Don't! Stop!

Stop! Don't! No!

But, you know, Mr. Sheffield,
out of all the memories,

-you know which one
was my favorite?
-Mm?

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

Mazel tov.

You may kiss the bride.

["WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING]

Oh, Miss Fine,
that never
happened.

I threw that one in
for you guys.

Happy holidays.

FRAN:Niles,
I got you invited to
Greece.

Why can't you just
relax and enjoy it?

NILES:Well, I'm sorry
but I can't help feeling

that I left something on
in the kitchen.

[WHIRRING]

[♪♪♪]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]