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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,000 [♪♪♪] 2 00:00:06,330 --> 00:00:07,480 Where's the camera? Where's the camera? 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,160 What do you need to take a picture of? 4 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:13,270 Well, I'm off to make the keynote speech 5 00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,300 at the Theatre Guild. 6 00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:18,503 Miss Babcock, you can't go like that. 7 00:00:18,830 --> 00:00:22,420 Nanny Fine, I will be speaking to Broadway impresarios. 8 00:00:22,450 --> 00:00:24,430 But I will seek your fashion expertise 9 00:00:24,466 --> 00:00:27,496 next time I'm dancing in a cage. 10 00:00:28,183 --> 00:00:30,473 You don't need your coat. It's not cold. 11 00:00:35,233 --> 00:00:37,473 Oh, wait, wait, wait. 12 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,330 Oh, God. That's not fair. 13 00:00:40,366 --> 00:00:42,376 That was gonna be my Christmas card. 14 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:46,350 Oh, now, cheer up, Niles. 15 00:00:46,383 --> 00:00:49,173 You know, there are people out there with real problems 16 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,180 that don't even have a reason to live. 17 00:00:52,216 --> 00:00:53,426 FRAN: Oh! 18 00:00:55,483 --> 00:00:57,473 - Hi, sweetie. - Hi. 19 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,450 Fran, you're never gonna believe this. 20 00:00:59,483 --> 00:01:03,203 - I am standing, talking to you... - Yeah. Yeah. 21 00:01:03,233 --> 00:01:06,123 ...in size-six pants. 22 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,420 Oh, my God. 23 00:01:07,450 --> 00:01:12,230 Val, you haven't been a size six since you were 6. 24 00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:14,296 I know. I know. 25 00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:18,333 Oh, Miss Toriello, that's not a six. It's a nine. 26 00:01:20,366 --> 00:01:25,126 Oh... Fudge Brownie or Rocky Road? 27 00:01:25,166 --> 00:01:27,156 What do you mean "or"? 28 00:01:28,216 --> 00:01:30,656 Fran, Fran, listen. 29 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:33,150 A bunch of my girlfriends are getting tattoos this Saturday... 30 00:01:33,183 --> 00:01:35,403 - Yeah? - ...and now, I need you to help with Dad. 31 00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:37,663 Oh, sure, honey. 32 00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:40,300 I'll invite him for a nice romantic dinner, 33 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:46,133 candlelight, champagne, lobster, soft music. 34 00:01:46,166 --> 00:01:48,196 And then you think he'll go for it? 35 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,403 Well, he better. 'Cause I'm running out of ideas. 36 00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:56,163 - Oh, you mean about the tattoo? - Yeah. 37 00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,470 Oh, no, honey, you ain't getting a tattoo. 38 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,160 - Oh, but, Fran. - Honey, 39 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:04,250 as long as I am living under your roof, 40 00:02:04,283 --> 00:02:06,153 you'll do as a say. 41 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,430 Fran, what is the big deal? 42 00:02:09,466 --> 00:02:12,176 You got a tattoo when we were in high school. 43 00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,376 You have a tattoo! 44 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,353 My daughter has a tattoo. 45 00:02:17,383 --> 00:02:19,833 SYLVIA: I'm gonna kill myself. 46 00:02:19,116 --> 00:02:23,116 I'm gonna stick my head in the oven and kill myself. 47 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:32,330 Are these crab cakes done? 48 00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:37,280 - Val! - Sorry. 49 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,430 ♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 50 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,226 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 51 00:02:44,266 --> 00:02:46,496 ♪♪ in one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 52 00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:48,330 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 53 00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:50,420 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 54 00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:53,330 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪♪ 55 00:02:53,366 --> 00:02:56,126 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 56 00:02:56,166 --> 00:02:58,246 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪ 57 00:02:58,283 --> 00:03:02,503 ♪♪ That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 58 00:03:02,830 --> 00:03:05,660 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 59 00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:07,170 ♪♪ was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 60 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,470 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 61 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,180 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 62 00:03:10,216 --> 00:03:11,296 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 63 00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:12,483 ♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪ 64 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,230 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 65 00:03:14,266 --> 00:03:18,226 ♪♪ when everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 66 00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:20,316 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 67 00:03:20,350 --> 00:03:22,170 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 68 00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:26,253 [♪♪♪] 69 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,423 My daughter has a tattoo. 70 00:03:29,450 --> 00:03:31,150 I'm gonna be sick. 71 00:03:33,183 --> 00:03:35,453 Niles, quick, get me something bubbly. 72 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:37,123 Club soda? 73 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,150 You got any Hershey's syrup? 74 00:03:43,483 --> 00:03:48,103 Of all the shmucky things that you did as a kid, 75 00:03:48,133 --> 00:03:50,173 nothing compares to this. 76 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,250 Fran, you have broken my heart. 77 00:03:52,283 --> 00:03:54,283 You've shattered my dreams. 78 00:03:54,316 --> 00:03:57,116 I don't even want to live. 79 00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:03,156 Hey, pokey, how long does an egg cream take? 80 00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:08,500 When did you do this? 81 00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:11,180 Remember when Val and I were going to Hadassah 82 00:04:11,216 --> 00:04:14,326 to audition forJesus Christ Superstar? 83 00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:20,156 Which, incidentally, should have been a clue. 84 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,450 ["SHE'S A MANIAC" BY HALL AND OATES PLAYING] ♪♪ She's a maniac, maniac ♪♪ 85 00:04:23,483 --> 00:04:26,323 ♪♪ On the floor ♪♪ 86 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:31,350 ♪♪ And she's dancing like she never danced before ♪♪ 87 00:04:31,383 --> 00:04:34,833 You know, Fran, these tattoos are permanent. 88 00:04:34,116 --> 00:04:35,996 I mean, what if you and Danny break up? 89 00:04:36,330 --> 00:04:38,470 Val, he said he loves me. 90 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,420 I'm not gonna be with someone that says he loves me 91 00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:43,430 and then takes it back. 92 00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:47,660 [WOMAN SCREAMS] 93 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:50,130 Either of you AB positive? 94 00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:51,366 - No. - No. 95 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,470 Sorry! 96 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,120 Whoa, I gotta lay off the espresso. 97 00:04:57,466 --> 00:04:59,166 So, you got ID? 98 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,180 - No. - No. 99 00:05:01,216 --> 00:05:03,346 You gotta buy some, or I can't tattoo you. 100 00:05:03,383 --> 00:05:05,203 Okay. Oh, good. 101 00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:06,373 - Here. - Ten bucks. 102 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,330 - Here. - Okay. Oh, thanks. 103 00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:10,150 Want a beer? 104 00:05:10,183 --> 00:05:11,453 - Yeah. - Yeah. 105 00:05:11,483 --> 00:05:13,423 Let me see your ID. 106 00:05:15,216 --> 00:05:16,416 Good. 107 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,200 Okay. 108 00:05:18,233 --> 00:05:20,383 - All right. - Look, you got Charles and Di. 109 00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:22,996 - Yeah. - Gee, I hope that comes off. 110 00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:25,400 I have a very bad feeling about that marriage. 111 00:05:26,366 --> 00:05:28,316 Val, you're so stupid. 112 00:05:28,350 --> 00:05:31,200 Where's he going with those big ears? 113 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:33,470 Yeah, man, I hope you're right. 114 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,160 I'm still sore from turning Sonny into Gregg Allman. 115 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,430 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 116 00:05:42,466 --> 00:05:45,416 How could you do this to your family? 117 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,160 Would you like some more, Sylvia? 118 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:55,000 What, did we just meet? 119 00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,300 Where was I? 120 00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:01,153 "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 121 00:06:01,183 --> 00:06:03,183 How could you do this to your family?" 122 00:06:03,216 --> 00:06:07,826 It really loses something in the Gentile translation. 123 00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:12,000 You know, this time you haven't just defied your mother. 124 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,160 This time you defied God. 125 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,250 If you have a tattoo, 126 00:06:16,283 --> 00:06:19,423 you can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery. 127 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:25,330 And unless you have it removed, consider yourself disowned. 128 00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:27,660 Ma. 129 00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,480 You know, this has nothing to do with you and me. 130 00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:47,200 [NILES CLEARS THROAT] 131 00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:50,350 [CLEARS THROAT] 132 00:06:54,366 --> 00:06:57,416 Come on, Niles. Obviously, you're dying to tell me something. 133 00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,000 So, what is it? 134 00:07:02,183 --> 00:07:03,403 It's a secret? 135 00:07:04,266 --> 00:07:06,096 You promised not to say a word. 136 00:07:07,216 --> 00:07:09,246 Two words. 137 00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:12,123 It's a person. Who is it? 138 00:07:15,830 --> 00:07:17,660 The Thompsons' butler? 139 00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:21,656 Miss Fine! 140 00:07:21,383 --> 00:07:22,453 What about Miss Fine? 141 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,003 What? Just tell me. 142 00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:26,330 Just tell me, Niles, or you're-- 143 00:07:26,366 --> 00:07:29,226 - She has a tattoo. - Miss Fine has a tattoo? 144 00:07:29,266 --> 00:07:30,326 She does? 145 00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:32,146 Oh, such keen hearing. 146 00:07:32,183 --> 00:07:35,153 And look, she brought a newspaper. Good girl. 147 00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:40,230 Niles, don't you think it's time you came up with some fresh material? 148 00:07:40,266 --> 00:07:42,096 Something I haven't heard. 149 00:07:42,133 --> 00:07:45,003 How about, "Can you stay the night?" 150 00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:48,280 Oh, Niles, when do you have time 151 00:07:48,316 --> 00:07:50,226 to come up with these clever retorts? 152 00:07:50,266 --> 00:07:51,346 It must be that half hour 153 00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:54,203 between scraping pigeon poop off the stoop 154 00:07:54,233 --> 00:07:56,183 and fighting shower fungus. 155 00:07:58,433 --> 00:08:02,353 So, Miss Fine has a tattoo, eh? 156 00:08:02,383 --> 00:08:04,323 Oh, I'm shocked. How out of character 157 00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:07,230 for Nanny Fine to do something cheap and vulgar. 158 00:08:08,266 --> 00:08:12,266 Shameful. I-I wonder where it is. 159 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:16,160 Well, obviously, on a part of her body hidden by clothing. 160 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:21,500 Oh, well, let's see. That narrows it down to, what, Niles, about 2 inches? 161 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:32,180 Well, I remember the tattoo being higher on your tush. 162 00:08:32,216 --> 00:08:34,296 It was, Val. 163 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,380 Come on, Fran, please talk to Dad for me. 164 00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:44,396 I mean, you remember when you were 17, right? 165 00:08:44,433 --> 00:08:46,483 Yeah, I do. 166 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,420 Oh, it was a very good year. 167 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:53,300 Better not be that good for you. 168 00:08:56,433 --> 00:08:59,233 - Mr. Sheffield. - Miss Fine. 169 00:09:04,383 --> 00:09:06,233 Are you okay? 170 00:09:06,266 --> 00:09:08,226 Oh, I'm fine. Thanks. 171 00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:15,833 Let me ask you something. How do you feel about tattoos? 172 00:09:15,116 --> 00:09:18,476 Oh, well, Miss Fine, seeing as you asked, 173 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,300 as a matter of fact, I am a little intrigued. 174 00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:25,103 by the idea of painted flesh 175 00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:29,473 hidden on some part of a body... 176 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:34,400 reserved only for that special someone to... 177 00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:37,103 Well, you know-- Well, I'm... 178 00:09:38,483 --> 00:09:41,283 Tattoos are okay in my book. 179 00:09:41,316 --> 00:09:43,226 Thanks, Daddy. 180 00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:45,296 - What was that? - Ah... 181 00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:48,403 Well, you just gave your daughter permission to get a tattoo. 182 00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:52,663 What? I'd never let Margaret get a tattoo. 183 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:54,270 Well, you just said you loved tattoos. 184 00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:57,170 Miss Fine, I was talking about on you. 185 00:09:58,333 --> 00:10:01,153 [MUSIC PLAYING] 186 00:10:13,366 --> 00:10:15,416 Fran, how can you stand there like that, 187 00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,170 with the door wide open? 188 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,130 Mr. Sheffield could walk by and see you. 189 00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:23,326 Not if you don't move, Val. 190 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,230 I just found out that he is really turned on 191 00:10:30,266 --> 00:10:32,176 by a certain little tattoo. 192 00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:35,146 Oh, that guy fromFantasy Island? 193 00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:39,270 Excuse me, Miss Fine. 194 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:42,180 Have you talked to Margaret about that tattoo business? 195 00:10:42,216 --> 00:10:44,326 Yeah, I talked to her. It's all under control. 196 00:10:44,366 --> 00:10:46,276 FRAN: Don't worry about it. It's taken care of. 197 00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:50,096 MAXWELL [THINKING]: Where the hell is it? 198 00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:53,323 My God, bloody Waldo's easier to spot. 199 00:10:57,183 --> 00:10:59,253 Is there anything else I can do for you? 200 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,203 No, no, no. Absolutely nothing. 201 00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:05,353 No, I'll just be getting off-- Along. 202 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:11,126 Wow! The guy is obviously so turned on by you. 203 00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:13,346 What's taking him so long to make a move? 204 00:11:13,383 --> 00:11:15,473 Hey now, he's afraid that the kids will suffer 205 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:16,480 if it doesn't work out. 206 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,130 He is just so afraid of change. 207 00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:22,246 Why do you think I stay 29? 208 00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:25,333 It's for him. 209 00:11:25,366 --> 00:11:28,196 Fran, if you think this tattoo is your secret weapon, 210 00:11:28,233 --> 00:11:30,333 how come you made a doctor's appointment 211 00:11:30,366 --> 00:11:32,496 to take it off your butt? 212 00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:34,230 Oh, that's just a consultation, Val. 213 00:11:34,266 --> 00:11:37,276 The only thing I'm getting off my butt is Ma. 214 00:11:38,233 --> 00:11:41,133 This baby is staying. 215 00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:46,496 Now, what is it about a tattoo that guys find such a turn-on? 216 00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:47,400 It's very erotic, Val. 217 00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:50,333 I mean, you know, it's the lure of the forbidden. 218 00:11:50,366 --> 00:11:52,446 You know, it's like when we date a guy 219 00:11:52,483 --> 00:11:56,153 and suddenly we find out he drives a Sara Lee truck. 220 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,223 - Oh, yeah. - Same thing. 221 00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:00,330 Yeah, I got it. 222 00:12:05,116 --> 00:12:07,196 Dr. Roberts, could you make me look like--? 223 00:12:07,233 --> 00:12:08,473 Nope. 224 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,250 But they do have a new procedure 225 00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:15,233 that freezes the muscles in your face 226 00:12:15,266 --> 00:12:17,656 so you'll never get lines. 227 00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:19,100 So I'd never be able to smile again? 228 00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:20,483 That's right. 229 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,220 - You married? - No. 230 00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,380 - You rich? - No. 231 00:12:23,416 --> 00:12:25,346 What have you got to smile about? 232 00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:32,160 Don't worry. He's a very good surgeon. 233 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:36,280 Although, I didn't care for way he lifted Aunt Lottie's boobs. 234 00:12:36,316 --> 00:12:38,656 Well, on the bright side, 235 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:41,500 now she doesn't have to wear shoulder pads anymore. 236 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,300 - Um, Doctor? - Yeah? 237 00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:49,353 You know, we're here to find out what you can do about this. 238 00:12:55,660 --> 00:12:57,200 This is much more serious than I imagined. 239 00:12:57,233 --> 00:12:59,503 Oh? 240 00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:01,200 This thing is cracked. 241 00:13:01,233 --> 00:13:03,503 [LAUGHS] 242 00:13:10,233 --> 00:13:12,403 So, what exactly is the problem? 243 00:13:12,433 --> 00:13:14,353 Can you remove that tattoo? 244 00:13:14,383 --> 00:13:16,183 I can take it off next Tuesday. 245 00:13:16,216 --> 00:13:18,126 Well, wait a minute. 246 00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:20,326 Is it gonna scar? Is it gonna hurt? 247 00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,166 Yes. And, ouch. 248 00:13:23,466 --> 00:13:25,346 Fran, if you keep that tattoo, 249 00:13:25,383 --> 00:13:28,233 you can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery. 250 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,226 It's either a bruisedtuchis, 251 00:13:30,266 --> 00:13:34,376 or spending all of eternity without your family. 252 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,173 Can you make it bigger? 253 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:43,160 [MUSIC PLAYING] 254 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:49,830 Oh, Val, I just love this new bathing suit I got. 255 00:13:49,116 --> 00:13:51,496 You think Mr. Sheffield will be able 256 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:52,480 to see my tattoo in this? 257 00:13:55,283 --> 00:13:59,173 Fran, he'll be able to see your liver in that. 258 00:14:00,466 --> 00:14:04,276 I just gotta figure out an excuse to wear it. 259 00:14:04,316 --> 00:14:07,096 Oh, wait. There's a four-day weekend coming up. 260 00:14:07,133 --> 00:14:09,663 Oh, oh, kids! Kids! 261 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:11,160 - Come down here. - Wait a second. 262 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,420 Won't Mr. Sheffield be a little suspicious, 263 00:14:12,450 --> 00:14:14,250 you suddenly planning a trip? 264 00:14:14,283 --> 00:14:16,253 No. He worries when I'm not working him 265 00:14:16,283 --> 00:14:17,473 for a free vacation. 266 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,270 - Kids. - Fran, what's up? 267 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:22,380 - What's going on? - Where's your sister? Gracie! 268 00:14:22,416 --> 00:14:24,296 Fran, she's down the street. 269 00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,323 - She's not gonna hear you. - Oh. 270 00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:28,130 What is it, Fran? 271 00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:29,326 Hi, honey. 272 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:32,230 There's a four-day weekend coming up. 273 00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:34,196 - Where should we go? - The Hamptons. 274 00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:36,133 - Skiing. - Horseback riding. 275 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:39,156 Bermuda it is. 276 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,250 [MUSIC PLAYING] 277 00:14:46,266 --> 00:14:49,826 Well, Miss Fine, this is the perfect place 278 00:14:49,116 --> 00:14:51,196 - for a family vacation. - Mm-hmm. 279 00:14:51,233 --> 00:14:56,163 Here's tattoo-- I mean, to you. 280 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,380 MAXWELL [THINKING]: My God, I hope she didn't hear that. 281 00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:03,376 FRAN [THINKING]: And is this gonna be a piece of cake. 282 00:15:05,416 --> 00:15:07,116 You know, Mr. Sheffield, 283 00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:09,320 Brighton and Maggie are gonna be at the disco 284 00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,500 for at least another hour. 285 00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:14,220 So that'll give us a chance to talk... 286 00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:17,370 you know, about the kids, the house. 287 00:15:18,416 --> 00:15:20,476 FRAN [THINKING]: Did I remember to wax? 288 00:15:24,233 --> 00:15:26,353 We're on vacation, Miss Fine. 289 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:29,203 A little time alone together will give me a chance 290 00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:31,483 to see a side of you I haven't seen. 291 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,000 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, 292 00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,470 I think you've seen just about all my sides. 293 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,200 Only your good side, Miss Fine. 294 00:15:39,233 --> 00:15:41,133 I've yet to see your backside-- 295 00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:44,173 Bad side. 296 00:15:53,116 --> 00:15:55,996 So you've done wonders with the children. 297 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,280 I'm amazed at how Brighton 298 00:15:57,316 --> 00:15:59,276 is really applying himself this year. 299 00:15:59,316 --> 00:16:01,326 I have to say, I was a little concerned 300 00:16:01,366 --> 00:16:03,826 about his math grades. 301 00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:06,096 Yeah, well, you know, it was very wise 302 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,303 - to hire a tutor. - Oh, yeah. 303 00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:11,663 FRAN [THINKING]: Yada, yada, yada. We're drifting. 304 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,320 Gotta get this puppy back on track. 305 00:16:14,316 --> 00:16:19,276 Oh, boy, I'll tell you, it is so humid here. 306 00:16:19,316 --> 00:16:21,196 How about a swim? 307 00:16:21,233 --> 00:16:23,383 FRAN [THINKING]: And we're there. 308 00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,430 Great idea. You know what? 309 00:16:28,466 --> 00:16:31,656 I'll go change into my bathing suit, 310 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:35,000 I'll tuck Gracie in, and I'll be right back. 311 00:16:35,330 --> 00:16:37,380 FRAN [THINKING]: Watch me work this walk. 312 00:16:43,830 --> 00:16:45,380 Oy! That's a turn-on. 313 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:51,383 Well, good night, sweetie. Sweet dreams. Love you. 314 00:16:51,416 --> 00:16:54,096 - Fran. - What? 315 00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:56,273 You know I can't sleep when we're on a trip. 316 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:57,470 Will you sleep with me? 317 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,130 FRAN [THINKING]: Right words, wrong Sheffield. 318 00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:05,130 Okay, honey. 319 00:17:05,166 --> 00:17:08,446 Why don't you just rest. Maybe you'll get sleepy. 320 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,470 - Sleepy yet? - Nope. 321 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,180 Will you be for 10 bucks? 322 00:17:20,216 --> 00:17:21,326 How about a story? 323 00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:23,266 Oh, honey, it's getting really late. 324 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:27,100 - I'm not gonna sleep unless-- - Okay. Here's the story. 325 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,183 About a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer. 326 00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:31,416 - Fran. Fran. - Barely kept his family fed. 327 00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:34,003 You gotta get a life. 328 00:17:34,330 --> 00:17:36,130 I'm trying. 329 00:17:38,216 --> 00:17:40,476 Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. 330 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,330 Why don't you just close your eyes? 331 00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:46,476 Okay. Shh. 332 00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:50,833 - Fran. - Yeah? 333 00:17:50,116 --> 00:17:53,226 Will you promise me you'll stay with us forever? 334 00:17:53,266 --> 00:17:55,426 Honey, I'm counting on it. 335 00:17:57,133 --> 00:18:01,233 Sometimes I worry that everything's gonna change. 336 00:18:01,266 --> 00:18:06,416 Um, well, you know, sometimes a little change is a good thing. 337 00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:08,330 - No, it's not. - Why? 338 00:18:08,366 --> 00:18:11,246 'Cause if you don't like it, you can never go back the way things were. 339 00:18:11,283 --> 00:18:13,333 - But what if you do like it? - What if you don't? 340 00:18:13,366 --> 00:18:15,346 Well, what's it to you? 341 00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:21,300 MAXWELL [THINKING]: Oh, God, what am I doing? 342 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,273 This is a test, isn't it? 343 00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:27,180 Yeah. You want to see if I can control myself. 344 00:18:27,216 --> 00:18:29,326 Well, I'm going to prove something to you 345 00:18:29,366 --> 00:18:32,096 once and for all. 346 00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,423 I can't. 347 00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:40,656 Oh, Miss Fine. 348 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:43,200 Why aren't you in your thong--? I mean, thuit-- 349 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,430 Bathing suit? 350 00:18:49,116 --> 00:18:52,126 You know, I really didn't feel like changing. 351 00:18:52,166 --> 00:18:55,116 Um... I don't think it's the right time 352 00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:57,300 for us to take a swim. 353 00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:03,160 Right. Right. I-- Yes, I understand. 354 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,300 How about now? 355 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,250 Actually, I was thinking of maybe playing 356 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:21,433 a nice friendly game of Ping-Pong. 357 00:19:21,466 --> 00:19:24,316 Ah. Yes, Ping-Pong. Right. 358 00:19:24,350 --> 00:19:26,420 - Safe. - Fun. 359 00:19:30,266 --> 00:19:32,266 - Ready? - Mm hmm. 360 00:19:36,116 --> 00:19:37,326 Oh, you. 361 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000 You. 362 00:19:51,216 --> 00:19:54,426 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! 363 00:19:54,466 --> 00:20:01,246 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 364 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,160 Wow. 365 00:20:20,316 --> 00:20:22,496 Whew! 366 00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:31,130 - Chinese or Italian? - Both. 367 00:20:39,233 --> 00:20:40,453 Thank you. 368 00:20:40,483 --> 00:20:42,433 Fran, I know you're still in pain 369 00:20:42,466 --> 00:20:45,496 from getting your tattoo removed. 370 00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:47,400 But I'm still getting one when I turn 18. 371 00:20:47,433 --> 00:20:50,183 Well, not if you wanna be buried next to your husband 372 00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:52,196 in a Jewish cemetery. 373 00:20:53,466 --> 00:20:56,826 Well, I'm not Jewish. 374 00:20:56,483 --> 00:20:58,323 Honey, don't be so selfish. 375 00:20:58,350 --> 00:21:01,280 You know I live vicariously through you. 376 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:05,430 - Oh, you want your doughnut? - Oh, yeah. 377 00:21:05,466 --> 00:21:08,196 Oh, isn't it ironic? 378 00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:11,253 Every doughnut I touch ends up on my hips. 379 00:21:15,216 --> 00:21:17,426 Oh, Ma. How sweet. 380 00:21:17,466 --> 00:21:19,316 You brought me a chocolate chip Danish 381 00:21:19,350 --> 00:21:21,830 to ease my pain? 382 00:21:21,116 --> 00:21:24,096 Ah... yeah. 383 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,370 Sweetheart, I'm so glad you took my advice. 384 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:35,400 Now you can be buried in a Jewish cemetery. 385 00:21:35,433 --> 00:21:40,233 Otherwise, we would have had to dig a hole in the backyard. 386 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:44,316 Next to Booboo the cat. 387 00:21:46,383 --> 00:21:51,003 Ma, Booboo didn't die. He ran away. 388 00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,320 Ah... yeah. 389 00:21:57,830 --> 00:21:59,430 [MUSIC PLAYING] 390 00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:10,156 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 27435

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