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1
00:00:09,336 --> 00:00:12,203
Yo.
2
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- Everything
- Everything
3
00:00:14,575 --> 00:00:17,176
- Is everything
- Is everything
4
00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:19,870
What is meant to be will be
5
00:00:19,946 --> 00:00:22,312
Word.
6
00:00:22,381 --> 00:00:24,872
- After winter
- After winter
7
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- Must come spring
- Must come spring
8
00:00:27,019 --> 00:00:30,386
Change, it comes eventually
9
00:00:49,308 --> 00:00:52,106
- Hey there, little Becky. Hey, Tiger.
- Hi, Jimmy.
10
00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,908
Hi, Mrs. Ross, Mr. Ross.
How are you ?
11
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- Deliveries in the back.
- Excuse me ?
12
00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,742
You heard me.
Deliveries in the back.
13
00:00:59,819 --> 00:01:02,083
Why do you think
I'm a messenger ?
14
00:01:02,155 --> 00:01:05,283
No, no, no, really.
Why do you just...
15
00:01:05,358 --> 00:01:08,259
assume I'm a messenger ?
16
00:01:08,327 --> 00:01:11,262
Is it impossible for me to have
a friend that lives here ?
17
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:13,662
Would that be
out of the question ?
18
00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:18,033
To have an old college chum
that lives upstairs...
19
00:01:18,104 --> 00:01:23,041
that I'm comin' by to see
just to talk about old times ?
20
00:01:23,109 --> 00:01:26,340
To have a little cocoa ?
Would that upset you ?
21
00:01:26,412 --> 00:01:29,210
What's wrong ?
I can't have no cocoa ?
22
00:01:29,282 --> 00:01:31,614
I don't look like
I like cocoa ?
23
00:01:31,684 --> 00:01:36,383
What's wrong with me just comin' here
tryin' to have some cocoa ?
24
00:01:36,455 --> 00:01:39,822
I'm sorry, sir. I just-- I--
Who did you come here to see ?
25
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:43,293
Nobody. Delivery
for Charles Wellington.
26
00:01:43,362 --> 00:01:46,126
Deliveries in the back.
27
00:01:46,199 --> 00:01:48,326
Let me tell you that
everything is everything
28
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- Look out ! Look out !
- What's up, man ?
29
00:01:50,369 --> 00:01:52,667
Everything is everything
30
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,172
Welcome to Amateur Night at the Apollo.
31
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- Y'all ready for a show ?
32
00:02:00,646 --> 00:02:05,106
There's no way we're
part of the same place
33
00:02:05,184 --> 00:02:09,177
- We're part of the same time
34
00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:13,089
- We both have the same blood
35
00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:15,855
We both have the same mind
36
00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:17,953
And time and time
37
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- We've had so much to share
38
00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:22,600
No, no, no, no
39
00:02:22,668 --> 00:02:25,432
I'm not wakin' up
tomorrow mornin'
40
00:02:25,504 --> 00:02:30,271
- And findin' there's nobody there
41
00:02:30,343 --> 00:02:33,801
No, no, no, no way
42
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,348
No, no, no, no way
43
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And you and you and you
44
00:02:40,286 --> 00:02:44,188
You're gonna love me
45
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Oh, yes, you are
46
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Thank you.
47
00:02:50,196 --> 00:02:52,858
Peace. I'm outta here.
48
00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:55,492
Let's hear it, Apollo, for Phil Quon.
49
00:02:55,568 --> 00:02:57,695
- Congratulations, you killed.
- Thanks, Booey.
50
00:02:57,770 --> 00:02:59,567
Phil Quon. Show your love.
51
00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,971
- They're not gonna boo me off, right ?
- Did I say that ?
52
00:03:02,041 --> 00:03:05,067
- I mean, anything could happen.
- Yeah, anything could happen,
53
00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:08,045
like they invent a new boo
that's silent.
54
00:03:09,949 --> 00:03:13,544
What ? Huh ? What ?
What are you looking at ?
55
00:03:13,619 --> 00:03:17,248
This girl I met at the Shark Bar
last night. I told her to come down.
56
00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:21,157
Damn, she's skinny. Until y'all
have sex, she just might start a fire.
57
00:03:21,227 --> 00:03:25,163
Our next act is a comedian.
How about a hand for Mr. Lance Barton ?
58
00:03:25,231 --> 00:03:29,759
- What is that ? What's with the hat ?
- You don't like the hat ?
59
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:32,929
You look like you're gonna tie somebody
to the railroad tracks.
60
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:36,941
I need style. Nobody wants to see Lance
Barton, bike messenger from Bed-Stuy.
61
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,136
People want to see
Lance Barton, comedian.
62
00:03:39,211 --> 00:03:42,180
- What people ?
- Lance Barton people.
63
00:03:42,248 --> 00:03:44,944
Lance Barton, everybody.
Come on.
64
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:46,314
- No boos.
- No boos.
65
00:03:46,385 --> 00:03:48,615
- Here comes Booey.
- Let's get ready.
66
00:03:48,688 --> 00:03:50,622
Lance Barton, everybody.
67
00:03:51,924 --> 00:03:53,858
Don't touch me, man.
68
00:03:55,661 --> 00:03:58,027
Hey, what's up, Apollo ?
69
00:03:58,097 --> 00:04:00,292
Where'd you get that hat, man ?
70
00:04:02,535 --> 00:04:06,130
- Yeah. Yeah, all right. So, uh--
71
00:04:06,205 --> 00:04:09,470
How come every time...
72
00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:11,476
a airplane crash,
73
00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:14,479
all they can ever find
is the black box ?
74
00:04:14,547 --> 00:04:18,039
Why don't they just make
the whole plane out of the black box ?
75
00:04:19,618 --> 00:04:23,520
Yeah. I got roaches.
Who here got roaches ?
76
00:04:23,589 --> 00:04:26,717
Everybody got roaches, man.
It's Harlem.
77
00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:28,851
Yeah. Yeah,
everybody got roaches.
78
00:04:28,928 --> 00:04:32,762
Yeah, man. I got some roaches
in my house, man.
79
00:04:32,832 --> 00:04:37,394
Roaches so big, one roach
got drafted in the second round.
80
00:04:37,470 --> 00:04:39,631
Get your ass offstage, Booey.
That shit ain't funny.
81
00:04:39,705 --> 00:04:41,798
- Yeah.
82
00:04:41,874 --> 00:04:44,502
- Hey, you suck!
83
00:04:44,577 --> 00:04:47,375
- Come on. Hold it together.
84
00:04:47,446 --> 00:04:51,075
I know this girl so ugly,
she had to wear makeup on the radio.
85
00:04:52,618 --> 00:04:54,711
Boo !
86
00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:12,268
All by myself
87
00:05:12,338 --> 00:05:14,581
Don't wanna be
88
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:18,981
- All by myself
- No !
89
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:23,216
- Ow ! Ow ! Hey !
- Anymore
90
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:28,660
All by myself
91
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:31,630
You out there with a new hat.
You need a new act.
92
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:35,691
Well, if I'm so unfunny,
how come you're still my manager ?
93
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:39,227
Lance, you're funny... offstage.
94
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:42,173
- But onstage, you're, um--
- I'm what ?
95
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:47,475
You're afraid. See, you're afraid
of being yourself, and they can tell.
96
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,812
Hey, kid, don't listen
to the crowd.
97
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:53,512
You're one funny man.
Phil Quon says so.
98
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:56,317
- Thanks a lot.
- Two more Rheingolds for my man Booey.
99
00:05:56,390 --> 00:06:01,384
You'd be afraid if every time you played
the Apollo they booed you off the stage.
100
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:06,398
Well, you don't have to worry about that
anymore. They shuttin' down the Apollo.
101
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,434
- Get out of here.
- Yeah, they just told me.
102
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:12,302
They're building a multiplex
or quadri plex or some kind of plex.
103
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,832
And they're gonna do a farewell show
with five slots for amateurs.
104
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,845
- That's it.
- You got to get me one of those slots.
105
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:25,112
Lance, come on, man.
Just let it go. Try someplace else.
106
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,119
I don't wanna
try someplace else.
107
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:31,385
As long as I'm Booey at the Apollo,
I'm Booey everywhere.
108
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,954
- Where you goin' ?
- I'm goin' to the Comic Strip...
109
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:37,929
to work on my material.
110
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,091
Get me that audition, Whitney.
111
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:43,867
Later, Booey.
112
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,598
Okay, Lance, where are you ?
113
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,201
Right on time.
114
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,308
I gotta work on
my set. I gotta get my jokes together.
115
00:06:56,383 --> 00:07:01,548
I gotta go back to the Apollo and not
get booed. I gotta work on my act.
116
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,489
Oh, my God!
117
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:14,332
Oh, I hate this job.
118
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:21,037
- Anybody get that license number ?
119
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:24,441
- Where the hell am I ?
- We've been waiting an eternity here.
120
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:27,480
- What ?
121
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,350
- This ain't the Comic Strip.
- Take it easy, people.
122
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,944
You'll be dead a long time.
You don't have to push.
123
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,422
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Pardon me. Pardon me. Excuse me.
124
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:41,291
- Bob Krantz, heart attack.
- Yeah.
125
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:45,161
Sid and Ethel Bugler.
Our tour bus crashed.
126
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:48,690
- Yep.
- Uh, I'm Gina Lovett.
127
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:51,829
- Mike said he'd put me on the list.
- Yep.
128
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,270
- All right. Go ahead.
- Thanks.
129
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,333
Tell Mike to stop
putting girls on the list.
130
00:07:57,411 --> 00:08:00,380
Lance ! Lance Barton !
131
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:03,007
- What is this place ?
- This is heaven.
132
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,677
Ah, heaven.
I've had this dream before.
133
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:08,186
Is Pac in there ?
Yo, tell Pac I'm here.
134
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,951
Hey, hey. I said no.
Go to hell.
135
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,958
Mr. Barton ?
136
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,290
- Where are you going ?
- I gotta wake up. I got an audition.
137
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:17,330
- Let me explain. You're not dreaming.
- I gotta get to the Comic Strip.
138
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:19,490
- Do you know where the "A" train is ?
- Mr. Barton ?
139
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:23,161
- Mr. Barton, here's the thing--
- Keyes, what's the problem ?
140
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:26,000
Oh, Mr. King. No problem, sir.
141
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:29,042
I have everything under control.
142
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,669
Mr. Barton here was, uh,
having a great time.
143
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,873
No, actually,
I'm trying to wake myself up.
144
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:38,384
I hate to break it to you, chum,
145
00:08:38,452 --> 00:08:40,750
You're dead. Capisce ?
146
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:43,722
- I'm not dead.
- Lance, come here.
147
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:47,749
What you're feeling right now
is totally normal.
148
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:50,922
For most people, dying is
a real shock to the system.
149
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,931
But, baby, it's gonna get better.
150
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:56,332
- It's heaven, baby. The food is great,
151
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:59,031
the women are beautiful,
152
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:03,008
and the music, Lance--
the music is hot.
153
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,512
Yes, sir, the fun never stops.
154
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,378
That's great, but I'm not dead.
155
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:12,418
Look, I got an audition coming up
that I know I'm gonna make.
156
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:15,785
So you guys can just fix whatever
mistake you made and get me home.
157
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,723
- Serge.
158
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:23,126
Could you check the list and see
when Mr. Barton is arriving ?
159
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:25,687
Barton, Barton,
Barton, Barton. Ah.
160
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,462
Due November 1 7, 2044,
161
00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:31,368
6.:30a.m.,
Eastern Standard Time.
162
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,372
2044 ?
163
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,274
You could've just given me the year.
Leave a brother a little doubt.
164
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:41,747
I took him one-tenth of a second before
the truck hit. He couldn't have made it.
165
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,749
What am I gonna do with you ?
166
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,785
First, you make Frank Sinatra
wait for a table.
167
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,080
He didn't have a jacket.
168
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:50,146
He's Frank Sinatra !
He can wear whatever he wants !
169
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,384
- You killed me ! You killed me !
- Hey ! Hey !
170
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,427
- You killed me ! You killed me !
- Hey ! Hey ! Come on.
171
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:58,897
Now, Mr. King has been
in charge up here for quite some time.
172
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:02,332
I don't think there's anything
he can't handle.
173
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,870
- You guys can fix this, right ?
- Lance, look,
174
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,099
I pride myself
on being a straight shooter.
175
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:10,302
For guys that lived a bad life,
I don't mince words.
176
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,311
I tell them to go to hell, literally.
177
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,405
You, on the other hand,
I like you.
178
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,973
You're what you call--
You're very, um--
179
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:21,646
You're very, um--
what's the word-- very, um--
180
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,155
- Funny ?
- No. You're spunky.
181
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,249
- Spunky ? What the--
- Spunky.
182
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,318
So here's the story.
Your body's gone.
183
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:32,126
Adios, sayonara, comprende ?
184
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:35,600
- But I spoke to my boss.
- You talked to God ?
185
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:38,729
Yeah. What we can do for you
is put you in somebody else's body,
186
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,774
as long as no one knows
he's dead yet, okay ?
187
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:46,711
Wait a minute. How am I supposed
to do my act in somebody else's body ?
188
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:50,113
Lance, this is all part
of some, like, grand plan.
189
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,481
- Really ?
- Yeah, sure.
190
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,487
Anyway, come on.
Let's go find you a body.
191
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:17,539
- This one's kind of like a fixer-upper.
- I don't think so.
192
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,207
How about this one ?
He's physically fit.
193
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:27,151
- He's got nice pecs.
- Big's not funny.
194
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,656
Nobody wants to laugh at a guy
who could whip their ass.
195
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,749
- Hey, it's your call.
- Hey, Joey.
196
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:35,317
- Hello.
- Hey, Joey, help me. I can't--
197
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,801
He's perfect.
198
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,568
Picky, picky.
Really picky.
199
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,316
Man ! Who lives here ?
200
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,752
Charles Wellington,
the 1 5th richest man in America.
201
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,914
He owns sporting teams,
cable companies,
202
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,049
health insurance companies,
you name it.
203
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:09,789
Just finished building this high-tech
penthouse controlled by supercomputers.
204
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:13,355
If I don't like the body,
can I keep the crib ?
205
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,492
Wait a-- How'd you do that ?
206
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,561
I'm a friggin' angel.
I can do whatever I want.
207
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:23,709
- What is it ?
208
00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:25,802
Cocktails, madame.
209
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:28,814
Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
Thank you, Wanda.
210
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:31,578
It's my pleasure,
Mrs. Wellington.
211
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,385
- Is that the guy ?
- No.
212
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,755
That's Winston Sklar,
Wellington's private secretary.
213
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,454
They're waiting for Wellington's body
to be discovered.
214
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:45,530
- What are you talking about ? What ?
- They're trying to kill him.
215
00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:49,191
- We gotta do something !
- Thank you, Wanda.
216
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,772
"Thank you, Wanda."
217
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:58,537
Who the hell she think she is ?
You frigid, stuck-up bitch.
218
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:01,306
If you really want to thank me,
get that cheap-ass husband of yours...
219
00:13:01,379 --> 00:13:03,472
to pay me a decent wage.
220
00:13:03,548 --> 00:13:07,712
One more face-lift, that
bitch gonna be fartin' out her nose.
221
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:10,118
Why haven't they found him yet ?
222
00:13:10,188 --> 00:13:13,954
I'm a murderer. I'm a dirty murderer.
I should be punished.
223
00:13:17,629 --> 00:13:19,563
Punish me.
224
00:13:19,631 --> 00:13:21,599
Oh, I'll punish you.
225
00:13:22,734 --> 00:13:24,827
- Lance.
226
00:13:24,903 --> 00:13:27,098
Call the cops.
Call the cops. Call the cops.
227
00:13:27,172 --> 00:13:29,800
I was on vacation
and that Wellington...
228
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:31,809
flew me in
from North Carolina...
229
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:33,868
- Call the police. Call the cops.
- to change the channel on the TV.
230
00:13:33,945 --> 00:13:37,779
- Call the cops. 9-1 -1 . 9-1 -1 .
231
00:13:37,849 --> 00:13:40,477
- You're damn right I was mad !
- Mamacita, nueve,
232
00:13:40,552 --> 00:13:42,486
- I had tickets to go see the O'Jays.
- uno, uno.
233
00:13:42,554 --> 00:13:44,488
Nueve, uno, uno.
234
00:13:44,556 --> 00:13:47,286
- Where's the phone ? Where's the phone ?
235
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:50,954
No can do, Lance. The phone company
doesn't provide service to dead people.
236
00:13:51,029 --> 00:13:53,429
You wanna make a call,
get a body.
237
00:13:53,498 --> 00:13:57,195
Well, find me another body. I don't
want anything to do with these freaks.
238
00:13:57,269 --> 00:14:00,932
I am here to see Mr. Wellington,
and I'm not leaving until I see him.
239
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:04,464
-Allow me to speak to Mr. Wellington.
- Yes, you let him know I'm here.
240
00:14:05,777 --> 00:14:07,938
- Mr. Sklar, sir ?
- Yeah, Cisco ?
241
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:12,347
It's, uh, Miss Jenkins again, sir.
She insists on seeing Mr. Wellington.
242
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:15,875
I'm sorry to bust in like this.
Well, actually I'm not.
243
00:14:15,954 --> 00:14:19,117
That's her.
That's the girl.
244
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:22,422
Hey, remember me ?
245
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:25,054
On the bike.
Run over ?
246
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,291
No, that's allright, Miss Jenkins.
247
00:14:27,365 --> 00:14:29,356
So, what can we do for you ?
248
00:14:29,434 --> 00:14:32,369
Well, I just wanted to say
that I think you should be arrested.
249
00:14:32,437 --> 00:14:34,530
Holy crap.
250
00:14:34,606 --> 00:14:38,007
What you're planning to do to the
Brooklyn Community Hospital is criminal.
251
00:14:38,076 --> 00:14:40,340
Oh, so you mean that--
252
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:44,348
You throw those words around like that.
"Arrested." It kind of hit me.
253
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:46,884
- That really-- Ooh !
254
00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:49,420
I don't think there's
anything funny about this.
255
00:14:49,487 --> 00:14:51,887
I work at the Brooklyn
Community Hospital.
256
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:54,517
It's the only public
health facility in the area,
257
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:56,026
and your company just bought it.
258
00:14:56,094 --> 00:14:58,927
I know that hospital.
My uncle went there for a new liver.
259
00:14:58,997 --> 00:15:01,090
They sent his ass
to the supermarket.
260
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,726
If this hospital goes private,
the people who depend on us...
261
00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:05,394
won't have any place to turn.
262
00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:07,404
That's awful. I think
you should take that up...
263
00:15:07,472 --> 00:15:10,202
with Mr. Wellington
at his business office.
264
00:15:10,275 --> 00:15:12,368
I've tried that.
I've been there at least 20 times.
265
00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:16,744
I've made 200phone calls,
and Mr. Wellington seems to never be in,
266
00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:19,443
so I decided to visit him
at his home.
267
00:15:19,517 --> 00:15:21,417
He's unavailable,
I guarantee you.
268
00:15:21,486 --> 00:15:24,455
If he's unavailable now, I'll just
wait here until he is available.
269
00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:28,390
- I'm afraid you can't.
- Yes, I can.
270
00:15:32,163 --> 00:15:34,563
Would you like to call the police
and have me arrested?
271
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:38,125
- I'm sure the press'll be interested.
- No, no, no. Let's don't.
272
00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:40,398
- Let's don't even--
- I thought so.
273
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:44,272
Hey, King, if I take
this Wellington guy's body,
274
00:15:44,342 --> 00:15:46,276
could I help her out ?
275
00:15:46,344 --> 00:15:49,871
- You got the hots for her.
- You tryin' to sell me a body, right ?
276
00:15:51,182 --> 00:15:54,811
- Well, let's see it.
- Okay.
277
00:15:54,886 --> 00:15:57,354
Would you stop it ?
278
00:15:57,422 --> 00:15:59,720
This ain't Star Trek.
I'm used to walking.
279
00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:02,726
Lance Barton,
Charles Wellington.
280
00:16:08,933 --> 00:16:11,060
Mr. Wellington,
please, don't get up.
281
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,536
Damn, he's dead !
282
00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:16,005
Yep. Nice bathtub.
283
00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:19,134
So if I take his body,
I'm gonna look like that, right ?
284
00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:21,144
I can't go to the Apollo
in that body.
285
00:16:21,212 --> 00:16:24,409
- How can I get laughs lookin' like him?
- He looks funny to me.
286
00:16:24,482 --> 00:16:28,816
I already get booed. Do I really need
to get beat down on top of it ?
287
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:32,084
You want to meet the girl,
you gotta take the body.
288
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:35,524
Any moment someone'll discover it,
and it'll be too late.
289
00:16:35,593 --> 00:16:38,357
Does it have to be for good ?
290
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:40,762
Could I just be him while you
find me a better body ?
291
00:16:40,832 --> 00:16:43,426
- You mean, take the body on loan ?
- Mm-hmm.
292
00:16:44,502 --> 00:16:46,436
Normally, I have
a problem with that,
293
00:16:46,504 --> 00:16:49,098
but since we, uh, screwed up,
294
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,108
- it's a deal.
295
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:54,805
Mr. Wellington, there's
a Miss Sontee Jenkins here to see you.
296
00:16:56,114 --> 00:16:58,048
Still bathing, are we ?
297
00:16:59,784 --> 00:17:02,685
We don't want our fingers
to go all pruney.
298
00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:12,994
Hey, it worked !
299
00:17:13,064 --> 00:17:15,965
What ? You weren't sure
it would work ?
300
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:17,968
Relax, I read the manual.
301
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,638
Hey, I still look like me.
302
00:17:21,706 --> 00:17:23,640
You are you.
303
00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:25,699
I thought you said
I was Wellington.
304
00:17:25,777 --> 00:17:29,076
- You are Wellington.
- Well, thanks for clearin' that up.
305
00:17:29,147 --> 00:17:31,308
Look, Lance,
to everyone else...
306
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:34,284
you look like Wellington,
you sound like Wellington,
307
00:17:34,352 --> 00:17:36,650
you even smell like Wellington.
308
00:17:36,721 --> 00:17:39,519
But you see yourself.
309
00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:41,525
Simple, huh ?
310
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:44,721
- Mr. Wellington, everything allright ?
311
00:17:44,796 --> 00:17:47,264
Go ahead. You can answer him.
Go ahead.
312
00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:49,926
- Everything's cool.
- Not too cool, I hope.
313
00:17:50,001 --> 00:17:53,300
No, everything is all right.
314
00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:57,102
Now, they're gonna see Wellington,
not some brother in his clothes.
315
00:17:57,175 --> 00:17:59,541
'Cause I don't feel
like gettin' shot today.
316
00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:02,171
- You'll be all right.
- All right.
317
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:11,015
So, you the butler ?
318
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:17,624
Yes, sir.
Uh, me-- me the butler.
319
00:18:17,695 --> 00:18:20,596
So you do all the butlerin'
around here.
320
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,631
Yes, indeed, sir.
321
00:18:25,703 --> 00:18:27,830
Whose butler are you ?
322
00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:30,841
Your butler, sir.
323
00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:33,207
You're my butler.
324
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,212
Don't cheat on me, now.
325
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,771
If I see you butlerin' for
somebody else, I'm gonna kill him.
326
00:18:40,618 --> 00:18:42,586
And who am I ?
327
00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:45,680
You-- You, sir ?
328
00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:48,089
You Mr. Wellington ?
329
00:18:48,159 --> 00:18:51,560
- Who am I ?
- Mr. Wellington.
330
00:18:51,629 --> 00:18:54,723
You're damn right I'm Wellington.
Yes ! I got a body !
331
00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:57,290
I got a body !
I got a body !
332
00:18:57,368 --> 00:19:01,498
You certainly have.
Would you care to get dressed now, sir ?
333
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:04,508
Go ahead, Lance,
take that corpse for a spin.
334
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:07,409
So where does he keep--
Where do I keep my clothes ?
335
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,073
In the closet, sir.
336
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:13,140
I'm goin' to the closet.
I got a body !
337
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:15,152
I got a body !
Let's go to the closet !
338
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,313
Let's do this !
Peace out !
339
00:19:17,388 --> 00:19:19,185
Yeah, I'm Wellington !
340
00:19:19,257 --> 00:19:21,248
I'm Wellington
341
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,294
- I'm Wellington
342
00:19:23,361 --> 00:19:25,295
Yeah. You better recognize.
343
00:19:25,363 --> 00:19:27,854
I know who you are,
you cheap bastard.
344
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:31,034
Tiger Woods, y'all.
Tiger Woods, y'all.
345
00:19:31,102 --> 00:19:33,036
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger,
Tiger, Tiger Woods, y'all.
346
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,765
Hey, Tiger Woods, y'all.
347
00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:40,868
- Hi, darling.
- I'll deal with you two later.
348
00:19:48,152 --> 00:19:50,279
How ya doin' ?
I'm Charles Wellington,
349
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,789
the 1 5th richest man in America.
350
00:19:52,857 --> 00:19:55,553
- I know who you are.
351
00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:57,857
Would you guys
give us some privacy ?
352
00:19:57,929 --> 00:20:00,022
Yeah. Yeah.
353
00:20:01,499 --> 00:20:03,865
That looks uncomfortable.
Could I help you out ?
354
00:20:03,935 --> 00:20:07,234
No, I don't need your help.
You have been avoiding me for weeks,
355
00:20:07,305 --> 00:20:09,637
and you're gonna listen to
exactly what I have to say.
356
00:20:09,707 --> 00:20:13,302
-Me ?
-I am talking about people's lives here.
357
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,927
Sick people, poor people. The kind
of people you care nothing about.
358
00:20:15,927 --> 00:20:16,916
Sick people, poor people. The kind
of people you care nothing about.
359
00:20:16,995 --> 00:20:20,362
These people are going to be
in desperate trouble...
360
00:20:20,432 --> 00:20:23,265
ifyou sell them out from the only place
they can go when they need help.
361
00:20:23,335 --> 00:20:27,203
See you later, Lance. I'll get Keyes
workin' on a new body. Good luck.
362
00:20:27,272 --> 00:20:29,001
- Hey, but--
- But nothing !
363
00:20:29,074 --> 00:20:32,100
Do you know that we are the only county
hospital in that part of Brooklyn ?
364
00:20:32,177 --> 00:20:34,441
And you chose there
of all places...
365
00:20:34,513 --> 00:20:37,971
to privatize and kick sick, broke
people out on their behinds.
366
00:20:38,049 --> 00:20:41,780
- What kind of man are you ?
- It sounds like I'm an asshole.
367
00:20:41,853 --> 00:20:45,380
- You think this is a joke ?
- No, I do not think this is a joke.
368
00:20:45,457 --> 00:20:48,858
This is a joke.
A prostitute and a card dealer go--
369
00:20:48,927 --> 00:20:50,827
- Forget it.
- You know what ?
370
00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:53,057
I know all about your board
of directors meeting on Monday.
371
00:20:53,131 --> 00:20:54,689
Really ?
372
00:20:54,766 --> 00:20:57,894
- The one that's closed to the public.
- I'm glad you told me.
373
00:20:57,969 --> 00:21:00,699
Now I gotta get a haircut
and maybe buy some Gators.
374
00:21:00,772 --> 00:21:03,400
You better get real serious by then,
'cause I'm gonna be there.
375
00:21:03,475 --> 00:21:05,500
And I'm gonna bring
every television camera,
376
00:21:05,577 --> 00:21:08,478
every news reporter,
every microphone I can find.
377
00:21:08,547 --> 00:21:12,176
Fine. We'll make a party of it. I bring
some friends, you bring some friends.
378
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,741
We'll get some chips
and dip, a deejay.
379
00:21:14,819 --> 00:21:17,083
And we-- You know,
we get on this hospital thing.
380
00:21:17,155 --> 00:21:20,556
This meeting is over,
Mr. Wellington. Good-bye.
381
00:21:20,625 --> 00:21:24,891
Hey, I'm serious. I'm--
I'm not jokin'. I'm-- I'm-- I--
382
00:21:24,963 --> 00:21:26,828
Is something wrong ?
383
00:21:29,401 --> 00:21:31,335
I lost the keys
to the handcuffs.
384
00:21:31,403 --> 00:21:35,840
Didn't your mama tell you
to carry an extra handcuff key ?
385
00:21:35,907 --> 00:21:39,206
Okay, okay. You know what ?
I'm just playin' with you.
386
00:21:39,277 --> 00:21:42,940
I'm gonna look for the key.
It's not up there.
387
00:21:43,014 --> 00:21:44,948
It's not there.
388
00:21:46,451 --> 00:21:48,919
Uh, there it is.
Nope. Roach.
389
00:21:48,987 --> 00:21:51,547
There you go. Got it.
390
00:21:53,792 --> 00:21:56,192
You know what I got
right here ?
391
00:21:56,261 --> 00:21:58,695
I got your freedom.
392
00:21:58,763 --> 00:22:01,926
I'm just playin'.
Let me get it.
393
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,434
Don't worry. Gotcha.
394
00:22:05,704 --> 00:22:08,229
See ? Everything's all right.
395
00:22:10,075 --> 00:22:12,270
Um, thankyou,
396
00:22:12,344 --> 00:22:14,972
bastard.
397
00:22:15,046 --> 00:22:16,980
I was just playin'.
398
00:22:23,521 --> 00:22:26,217
I don't know what happened. I put the
pills in his drink. I saw him drink it.
399
00:22:26,291 --> 00:22:28,816
I'll tell you what happened.
Ya blew it !
400
00:22:28,893 --> 00:22:34,331
You ruined us ! You-- You idiot !
You incompetent moron !
401
00:22:34,399 --> 00:22:36,230
- You bitch.
- You retard.
402
00:22:36,301 --> 00:22:38,132
- Rich bitch.
- Oh, yeah.
403
00:22:38,203 --> 00:22:40,501
You fat, old bitch.
404
00:22:41,573 --> 00:22:43,507
Now we're talkin'.
405
00:22:46,311 --> 00:22:50,509
- Oh, God.
- Oh, yeah.
406
00:22:50,582 --> 00:22:53,676
- Honey, I'm home.
407
00:22:55,153 --> 00:22:58,452
You want to put a little,
uh, English right on the top--
408
00:22:58,523 --> 00:23:01,959
I just want to say that
I know y'all tried to kill me.
409
00:23:05,030 --> 00:23:08,761
Darling, that's ridiculous.
410
00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:11,358
From what I hear,
I'm kind of an asshole.
411
00:23:11,436 --> 00:23:13,461
So I figure we're even.
412
00:23:13,538 --> 00:23:16,132
I was an asshole,
y'all tried to kill me.
413
00:23:16,207 --> 00:23:18,198
- Don't know what you're talkin' about.
- Come on.
414
00:23:18,276 --> 00:23:20,335
I know you tried to kill me.
415
00:23:20,412 --> 00:23:22,710
So, let's just move on.
416
00:23:22,781 --> 00:23:26,114
I mean, we're adults.
So what ? You tried to kill me.
417
00:23:26,184 --> 00:23:30,348
But we're never gonna have
A good relationship till you admit it.
418
00:23:30,422 --> 00:23:32,947
Okay, we tried to kill you.
419
00:23:33,024 --> 00:23:35,822
Gotcha ! Police !
Police, here they are !
420
00:23:35,894 --> 00:23:38,294
Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
421
00:23:38,363 --> 00:23:41,355
Just playin'.
I'm not gonna tell anybody.
422
00:23:41,433 --> 00:23:45,369
But I do need a favor. Do you know how
To get in touch with Sontee Jenkins ?
423
00:23:45,437 --> 00:23:48,201
Uh, no, but we can find out.
424
00:23:48,273 --> 00:23:51,242
Should I call
our usual problem solvers ?
425
00:23:51,309 --> 00:23:54,870
Maybe if they pay a little visit
to her home, she'll change her tune.
426
00:23:54,946 --> 00:23:58,177
Does she have a dog ? We could
get her a dog. We could kill it.
427
00:23:58,249 --> 00:24:02,345
Look, I don't have a problem with
Sontee Jenkins. I want to ask her out.
428
00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:04,354
- Oh.
- Oh,
429
00:24:04,422 --> 00:24:06,356
- Oh.
- Charles !
430
00:24:06,424 --> 00:24:10,656
Don't "oh, Charles" me. You were gettin'
ready to have sex on the pool table.
431
00:24:10,729 --> 00:24:12,856
You've got an eight ball
in your ass.
432
00:24:12,931 --> 00:24:14,865
Now, there's where you're wrong.
433
00:24:14,933 --> 00:24:18,664
We were just, um-- This isn't level,
and we were trying to--
434
00:24:18,737 --> 00:24:22,070
Do me a favor. Keep waxin' that ass.
Keep her off mine.
435
00:24:24,843 --> 00:24:28,335
Waxing it ?
What does that mean ?
436
00:24:37,989 --> 00:24:40,048
Mmm ?
437
00:25:30,074 --> 00:25:32,975
How do you get this thing
to change channels ?
438
00:25:33,044 --> 00:25:34,978
How do you get MTV ?
439
00:25:35,046 --> 00:25:37,708
How
440
00:25:37,782 --> 00:25:40,979
- Showtime.
441
00:25:41,052 --> 00:25:44,021
- Playboy.
442
00:25:44,088 --> 00:25:46,181
Hey !
443
00:25:46,257 --> 00:25:48,589
- BET.
- Not available.
444
00:25:50,562 --> 00:25:53,190
Not available.
445
00:26:07,111 --> 00:26:09,705
Descending to staff level.
446
00:26:11,449 --> 00:26:14,043
Let me tell you,
baking soda'll get that right out.
447
00:26:14,118 --> 00:26:16,712
Does any TV in this house get BET ?
448
00:26:16,788 --> 00:26:19,382
BET, Mr. Wellington ?
449
00:26:19,457 --> 00:26:21,789
You know, BET--
Black Entertainment Television.
450
00:26:21,860 --> 00:26:25,296
No, I know what BET is.
451
00:26:25,363 --> 00:26:27,297
You wanna watch BET ?
452
00:26:27,365 --> 00:26:28,662
Yeah.
453
00:26:32,136 --> 00:26:34,627
Do you guys mind if I went
and watched some TV ?
454
00:26:34,706 --> 00:26:36,799
Not at all, Mr. Wellington.
455
00:26:36,875 --> 00:26:40,038
This is your house. Enjoy.
456
00:26:40,111 --> 00:26:42,739
Thanks a lot.
Take care.
457
00:26:42,814 --> 00:26:46,306
Thank you, Mr. Wellington,
you jungle fever havin' bastard.
458
00:26:46,384 --> 00:26:48,944
What, it's not enough he bosses
my ass around upstairs ?
459
00:26:49,020 --> 00:26:51,420
Now he got to come down here
and watch my little TV.
460
00:26:51,489 --> 00:26:54,014
I tell you what, if he asks me
to change the channel,
461
00:26:54,092 --> 00:26:56,720
I'm gonna cut his ass.
462
00:26:56,794 --> 00:26:58,659
Uh, Wanda ?
463
00:27:00,098 --> 00:27:02,328
Yes, Mr. Wellington ?
464
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,732
You don't like me, do you ?
465
00:27:04,802 --> 00:27:08,636
Oh, no,
I like you just fine, sir.
466
00:27:08,706 --> 00:27:12,403
She can't stand your ass.
You should hear her all the time.
467
00:27:12,477 --> 00:27:16,379
"l hate Wellington.
Boy, I hope he drops dead.
468
00:27:16,447 --> 00:27:18,381
- Mm-hmm.
- "Wellington stupido.
469
00:27:18,449 --> 00:27:21,612
-Wellington cheapo. Wellington assholo."
-Mmm ?
470
00:27:21,686 --> 00:27:23,620
Sir, it's just disrespectful.
471
00:27:23,688 --> 00:27:26,555
I understand, really.
If I was you, I would hate me too.
472
00:27:26,624 --> 00:27:29,252
I tell you what I'm gonna do.
Startin' next week,
473
00:27:29,327 --> 00:27:31,761
both of you get a 200%% raise.
474
00:27:33,464 --> 00:27:35,762
Are you happy ?
475
00:27:35,833 --> 00:27:37,767
I'm ecstatic.
476
00:27:37,835 --> 00:27:40,804
Good. Take care.
477
00:27:44,042 --> 00:27:46,875
I'll believe that bullshit
when I see my check.
478
00:27:48,514 --> 00:27:51,779
Allright.
Here we go now. Come on, baby.
479
00:27:51,851 --> 00:27:56,447
Aw, for Christ's sake. You gotta
hit that. It's a wide-open three.
480
00:27:56,522 --> 00:27:58,683
- Come in.
481
00:28:01,794 --> 00:28:03,728
Mr. Wellington, sir.
482
00:28:03,796 --> 00:28:06,321
Anything I can do for you ?
I didn't hear the bell.
483
00:28:06,399 --> 00:28:08,731
Is there anybody else in here ?
484
00:28:08,801 --> 00:28:11,793
I don't believe so, sir, no.
485
00:28:11,871 --> 00:28:14,362
You're not from England, are you ?
486
00:28:16,242 --> 00:28:19,769
Uh, of course I am, sir.
I'm from-- from London.
487
00:28:19,846 --> 00:28:23,077
I was born in Fulham, sir.
A stone's throw from the river Thames.
488
00:28:23,149 --> 00:28:27,051
My father was a gentleman's gentleman,
and I am a gentleman's gentleman.
489
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,645
I was right outside the door.
I heard you.
490
00:28:29,722 --> 00:28:32,054
I know what you do.
You put on this fake accent...
491
00:28:32,125 --> 00:28:34,719
just to make the rich folks
feel comfortable.
492
00:28:34,794 --> 00:28:38,161
Pretty good scam.
So where are you really from ?
493
00:28:40,233 --> 00:28:43,293
I'm from Scarsdale.
Aw, crap. Am I fired ?
494
00:28:46,239 --> 00:28:49,174
Certainly, sir.
Would you like me to change the channel?
495
00:28:49,242 --> 00:28:53,144
Drop the accent.
"Would you like me to change the--"
496
00:28:53,212 --> 00:28:56,147
Just be yourself.
497
00:28:58,784 --> 00:29:02,413
Okay, uh, do you-- Do you want a beer ?
498
00:29:02,488 --> 00:29:05,616
You know what ? Let me get it.
You worked all day.
499
00:29:06,692 --> 00:29:08,626
You got any Rheingolds ?
500
00:29:10,663 --> 00:29:13,962
Okay, and the excitement is building
as the second amateur spot...
501
00:29:14,033 --> 00:29:18,026
for the final Apollo show
has been awarded to comedian Joe Guy.
502
00:29:18,104 --> 00:29:21,540
Now stay tuned
For the Brian McKnight-a-thon.
503
00:29:23,276 --> 00:29:26,268
- Where you goin', uh, sir ?
- I gotta go work on my material.
504
00:29:26,345 --> 00:29:30,145
- Where's the nearest subway ?
- You wanna take the car ?
505
00:29:37,256 --> 00:29:40,191
- What's up, Snoop ?
506
00:29:40,259 --> 00:29:42,386
With so much drama
in the L-B-C
507
00:29:42,461 --> 00:29:45,624
It's kinda hard
bein' Snoop D-O-double-G, but I
508
00:29:45,698 --> 00:29:50,465
Keep comin' up with funky-ass
shit like every single day
509
00:29:50,536 --> 00:29:54,870
- Rollin' down the street
- What's up, museum ?
510
00:29:54,941 --> 00:29:57,603
Sippin' on gin and juice
Laid back
511
00:29:57,677 --> 00:30:00,669
With my mind on my money
and my money on my mind
512
00:30:00,746 --> 00:30:04,307
- Rollin' down the street
- Hello. Yeah !
513
00:30:04,383 --> 00:30:07,750
- Sippin' on gin and juice
- Here it comes !
514
00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:10,721
With my mind on my money
and my money on my mind
515
00:30:10,790 --> 00:30:13,987
- Rollin' down the street
- Put up your "W."
516
00:30:14,060 --> 00:30:18,190
Sippin' on gin and juice
Laidback
517
00:30:18,264 --> 00:30:20,459
With my mind on my money
And my money on my mind
518
00:30:20,533 --> 00:30:22,558
Now that I got me
Some Seagram's gin
519
00:30:22,635 --> 00:30:25,365
Everybody got they cups
but they ain't chipped in
520
00:30:25,438 --> 00:30:27,702
Now, this types of shit
Happens all the time
521
00:30:27,773 --> 00:30:29,707
You've gotta get yours
But, fool, I gotta get mine
522
00:30:29,775 --> 00:30:33,176
Everything is fine
When you're listenin' to the D-O-G
523
00:30:33,246 --> 00:30:37,444
I got the cultivatin' music
that be captivatin' he who listens
524
00:30:37,516 --> 00:30:39,450
Are you ready for more comedy ?
525
00:30:39,518 --> 00:30:44,319
Our next act--you've seen him on TV.
You've read about him in the paper.
526
00:30:44,390 --> 00:30:47,223
He just won a spot on
the last night of the Apollo.
527
00:30:47,293 --> 00:30:49,420
Give it up for Joe Guy !
528
00:30:50,863 --> 00:30:53,263
What's up, brother ? Whoo !
529
00:30:53,332 --> 00:30:55,766
Look at this place.
It lookin' fine, boy !
530
00:30:55,835 --> 00:30:59,566
Got some fine-lookin' sisters
in the h-h-house. Except for you, girl.
531
00:30:59,639 --> 00:31:01,573
You sure this is such a great idea ?
532
00:31:01,641 --> 00:31:03,632
- This place does seem a little--
533
00:31:03,709 --> 00:31:07,201
- A little what ?
534
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,544
It's a little dark in here.
535
00:31:09,615 --> 00:31:11,549
Relax.
536
00:31:11,617 --> 00:31:14,381
These are my people.
537
00:31:14,453 --> 00:31:17,081
And there is no more America.
There's no more little towns.
538
00:31:17,156 --> 00:31:19,090
No, no, no.
You know what all it is ?
539
00:31:19,158 --> 00:31:21,820
Malls.
The whole country is malls.
540
00:31:21,894 --> 00:31:25,386
And every town's got two malls.
Every town's got two malls.
541
00:31:25,464 --> 00:31:27,398
That's right.
They got the white mall...
542
00:31:27,466 --> 00:31:29,764
and the mall white people
used to go to.
543
00:31:29,835 --> 00:31:33,236
That's right. 'Cause there
ain't nothin' in the black mall.
544
00:31:33,306 --> 00:31:36,332
They don't got nothin' in the black mall
but sneakers and baby clothes.
545
00:31:36,409 --> 00:31:39,845
I guess that's all we doin'--
runnin' and screwin'.
546
00:31:39,912 --> 00:31:42,312
And white people will abandon a mall.
That's right.
547
00:31:42,381 --> 00:31:44,975
White people like their black
the same way they like their seasoning--
548
00:31:45,051 --> 00:31:46,609
just a dash.
549
00:31:47,853 --> 00:31:50,185
You go to a white mall,
it's all nice.
550
00:31:50,256 --> 00:31:53,783
Everything. The stores are all nice.
You got personal shoppers.
551
00:31:53,859 --> 00:31:58,455
You go to a black mall and people say,
"Can I help you with the cheap shit ?"
552
00:31:58,531 --> 00:32:02,092
White people get some money,
keep it. Stay rich.
553
00:32:02,168 --> 00:32:04,329
Kids get rich.
Black people get some money,
554
00:32:04,403 --> 00:32:07,463
it's the countdown to
"When this brother gonna go broke ?"
555
00:32:07,540 --> 00:32:09,531
- That's right.
556
00:32:09,608 --> 00:32:12,975
White people die and leave a will.
Brother die and leave a bill.
557
00:32:40,706 --> 00:32:43,573
I'm fine. I'm fine. Fine.
558
00:32:43,642 --> 00:32:45,576
Hi, it's Sontee.
559
00:32:45,644 --> 00:32:47,703
Leave me a message.
I'll call you back.
560
00:32:47,780 --> 00:32:49,714
Hey, Sontee.
Charles Wellington here.
561
00:32:49,782 --> 00:32:52,649
The bastard.
Remember me ? Anyway,
562
00:32:52,718 --> 00:32:54,811
it was cool havin' you
break into my house the other day,
563
00:32:54,887 --> 00:32:58,687
and I was just wonderin' if we can
get together and get somethin' to eat.
564
00:32:58,758 --> 00:33:00,749
You know, catch a movie or somethin'.
565
00:33:00,826 --> 00:33:04,387
Hey, Sontee. Charles Wellington here.
566
00:33:04,463 --> 00:33:06,590
Hope you like the flowers.
567
00:33:09,168 --> 00:33:11,932
Allright. Give me a call.
568
00:33:12,004 --> 00:33:15,235
- Hey, Sontee. Charles Wellington again.
569
00:33:15,307 --> 00:33:17,605
You haven't called me.
I was just wonderin'...
570
00:33:17,676 --> 00:33:20,907
if we can get together and catch
a movie, maybe a play, somethin'.
571
00:33:20,980 --> 00:33:23,676
Are you there ?
572
00:33:23,749 --> 00:33:25,683
Are you screening this call ?
573
00:33:31,857 --> 00:33:34,018
Okay, I guess you're not there.
574
00:33:34,093 --> 00:33:36,687
Hey, Sontee.
575
00:33:36,762 --> 00:33:39,697
Charles Wellington.
Are you there ?
576
00:33:39,765 --> 00:33:41,699
- I know you're there !
577
00:33:41,767 --> 00:33:43,860
Pick up the phone !
I know you're there !
578
00:33:43,936 --> 00:33:47,133
Hey, just playin'.
Just playin'.
579
00:33:47,206 --> 00:33:49,140
All right.
Give me a call, okay ?
580
00:33:54,447 --> 00:33:57,746
Good mornin'. Did you know
your answering machine is broken ?
581
00:33:57,817 --> 00:34:00,115
No, it's not broken,
but it is full.
582
00:34:00,186 --> 00:34:04,418
- What are you doin' here ?
- I was just in the neighborhood.
583
00:34:04,490 --> 00:34:06,424
Oh, you were in Brooklyn.
584
00:34:06,492 --> 00:34:08,892
What were you doin',
shuttin' down some old folks home ?
585
00:34:08,961 --> 00:34:10,895
Don't be so mean.
I thought maybe we could...
586
00:34:10,963 --> 00:34:13,488
get in the Rolls
and go by the Four Seasons,
587
00:34:13,566 --> 00:34:15,796
have a little brunch,
discuss this whole hospital thing.
588
00:34:15,868 --> 00:34:20,100
Oh, so you're trying to impress me
with the car and the money.
589
00:34:20,172 --> 00:34:22,106
You think I'm some video ho ?
590
00:34:22,174 --> 00:34:25,371
Look, I really don't care
what you have, okay ?
591
00:34:25,444 --> 00:34:28,675
Ifyou want to impress me,
do it at the board meeting on Monday.
592
00:34:28,747 --> 00:34:31,341
I thought maybe we could
spend some time together.
593
00:34:31,417 --> 00:34:33,977
Why don't you spend a little time and do
something positive with your money ?
594
00:34:39,825 --> 00:34:41,656
That was brutal.
595
00:34:41,727 --> 00:34:43,786
You got a nice touch
with the ladies.
596
00:34:43,863 --> 00:34:47,629
I can't get a girl in this body,
and I definitely can't get any laughs.
597
00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:50,328
- Have you found me anything yet ?
- I'm workin' on it.
598
00:34:50,402 --> 00:34:52,336
I was just in Havana.
You want one ?
599
00:34:52,404 --> 00:34:56,431
No, I don't want one. What I want
from you is a body that works.
600
00:34:56,509 --> 00:34:58,534
I want a body,
and I want it now !
601
00:34:58,611 --> 00:35:02,103
What, are you gettin' tough with me ?
I'm a friggin' angel.
602
00:35:02,181 --> 00:35:04,911
You don't want to be in heaven,
you don't like it here.
603
00:35:04,984 --> 00:35:07,646
- There is a third option, you know.
- I'm sorry.
604
00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:10,120
I'm sorry.
I just need a body.
605
00:35:10,189 --> 00:35:14,626
You know what ? There's a big
rap concert in the Bronx tonight.
606
00:35:14,693 --> 00:35:16,718
Somebody's gonna die.
607
00:35:16,795 --> 00:35:18,956
Hey, don't forget about me.
608
00:35:19,031 --> 00:35:21,693
Go to the rap concert.
609
00:35:21,767 --> 00:35:24,099
- It's over between you and me.
610
00:35:24,169 --> 00:35:26,603
- I can't do this anymore.
- Let's just get out of here.
611
00:35:26,672 --> 00:35:30,164
We could take the plane. We could
go someplace he'll never find us.
612
00:35:30,242 --> 00:35:32,608
Chechnya, East Timor.
It'll be fun.
613
00:35:32,678 --> 00:35:34,737
No, I can't.
614
00:35:34,813 --> 00:35:37,714
I mean, after all,
he is my husband,
615
00:35:37,783 --> 00:35:39,717
and I love him.
616
00:35:39,785 --> 00:35:43,221
And I'm gonna do whatever
I can to get him back.
617
00:35:47,159 --> 00:35:49,855
That's sweet, Winston,
618
00:35:49,929 --> 00:35:51,954
but it's too late.
619
00:35:53,897 --> 00:35:57,628
We cannot allow Wellco to take over!
620
00:35:57,701 --> 00:35:59,566
I just think
this is an extremely bad time...
621
00:35:59,636 --> 00:36:01,729
to be making
a personal appearance.
622
00:36:01,805 --> 00:36:04,672
I've been lookin' into
this hospital thing,
623
00:36:04,741 --> 00:36:06,971
and I think
Sontee Jenkins had a point--
624
00:36:07,043 --> 00:36:09,238
Let's just handle this
the usual way, okay ?
625
00:36:09,312 --> 00:36:11,974
You do the strong, silent thing.
I'll field all the questions.
626
00:36:12,048 --> 00:36:16,246
I'm the velvet glove. You're
the iron fist. I won't let you down.
627
00:36:16,319 --> 00:36:18,412
- We can't have that.
- No !
628
00:36:18,488 --> 00:36:22,481
There's one man that's responsible
for all this-- Charles Wellington.
629
00:36:22,559 --> 00:36:24,390
- You're a bad man !
630
00:36:26,463 --> 00:36:28,761
Get outta here !
631
00:36:28,832 --> 00:36:31,130
Leave our hospital alone !
632
00:36:31,201 --> 00:36:33,829
- Scumbag !
- White oppressor !
633
00:36:33,903 --> 00:36:37,430
Mr. Wellington, now that you own
Brooklyn Community Hospital,
634
00:36:37,507 --> 00:36:39,372
are you gonna be sending those
without health insurance...
635
00:36:39,442 --> 00:36:41,876
to public facilities
outside their own community ?
636
00:36:41,945 --> 00:36:45,210
- Yeah, asshole !
- Mr. Wellington doesn't have time...
637
00:36:45,281 --> 00:36:47,272
to answer any questions
right now.
638
00:36:47,350 --> 00:36:49,841
Let me address that.
I don't care what you got.
639
00:36:49,919 --> 00:36:54,549
Cancer, rickets, polio,
swine flu, the clap, dandruff--
640
00:36:54,624 --> 00:36:56,592
- What else you got ?
- Lyme disease.
641
00:36:56,659 --> 00:37:00,151
Lyme disease, lemon disease.
It don't matter. We'll take you.
642
00:37:00,230 --> 00:37:03,165
- Liar!
643
00:37:03,233 --> 00:37:05,793
- Won't take you.
- Mr. Wellington, is the--
644
00:37:05,869 --> 00:37:07,860
- Thank you. Thank you all.
645
00:37:07,937 --> 00:37:09,871
Well, here they are,
Mr. Wellington,
646
00:37:09,939 --> 00:37:12,533
the faces that you were
too much of a coward to confront.
647
00:37:12,609 --> 00:37:14,543
So what do you
have to say to them ?
648
00:37:14,611 --> 00:37:16,806
Hey, what's up, Wheelie ?
649
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,610
Crutchie Crutch,
how you doin', man ?
650
00:37:19,682 --> 00:37:23,448
Hey, Big I.V. Save me a sip.
I want a sip, now.
651
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,454
I know what's wrong with you.
652
00:37:25,522 --> 00:37:29,219
Your breath is destroying
the environment.
653
00:37:29,292 --> 00:37:33,194
Why don't you tell them that
you don't care about them ?
654
00:37:33,263 --> 00:37:37,063
While you're at it, how come you locked
the staff and press out of this meeting?
655
00:37:37,133 --> 00:37:40,068
You know what ?
I must've been out of my mind.
656
00:37:40,136 --> 00:37:42,730
Was I takin' ecstasy that day ?
657
00:37:42,806 --> 00:37:45,832
We goin' in there.
Sklar, grab a stretcher.
658
00:37:45,909 --> 00:37:48,241
- We're goin' in. Everybody.
- Allright!
659
00:37:48,311 --> 00:37:50,404
Ifyou can walk, let's walk.
660
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,971
Ifyou can't walk,
it's time to roll.
661
00:37:53,049 --> 00:37:55,950
Ifyou got crutches,
then crutch your ass in there.
662
00:37:56,019 --> 00:37:59,420
We are goin' in.
Come on, Big I.V. Let's do this.
663
00:37:59,489 --> 00:38:02,219
- Whoo. Sorry, brother.
664
00:38:02,292 --> 00:38:05,853
Can we get some more juice
For Big I.V. ?
665
00:38:07,163 --> 00:38:09,631
Hey, guys, I brought us
some friends from the media.
666
00:38:09,699 --> 00:38:11,758
So if anybody is not where
they're supposed to be...
667
00:38:11,835 --> 00:38:13,826
or with somebody they're
not supposed to be with...
668
00:38:13,903 --> 00:38:17,361
or got a little crust in their eyes,
you might want to get up right now.
669
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:21,137
You can't bring news cameras
into the boardroom.
670
00:38:21,211 --> 00:38:23,145
Hey, relax.
We got nothing to hide.
671
00:38:23,213 --> 00:38:25,977
If there's not enough seats,
you can just sit on somebody's lap,
672
00:38:26,049 --> 00:38:28,142
unless the person next to you
don't got a lap.
673
00:38:28,218 --> 00:38:31,278
So, what's up ?
674
00:38:31,354 --> 00:38:34,448
Mr. Wellington,
At your hospital in Kentucky,
675
00:38:34,524 --> 00:38:37,891
a teenager with a bullet wound to
his head was sent to another hospital...
676
00:38:37,961 --> 00:38:40,156
15miles away, dying en route.
677
00:38:40,230 --> 00:38:43,097
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hospitals don't kill people.
678
00:38:43,166 --> 00:38:46,158
- People kill people.
- What kind of cold-ass shit is that ?
679
00:38:46,236 --> 00:38:49,137
We can't be sendin' people out
with bullet wounds to their head.
680
00:38:49,205 --> 00:38:51,730
That's somethin' you definitely
have to take serious.
681
00:38:51,808 --> 00:38:54,003
From now on,
we got a new slogan.
682
00:38:54,077 --> 00:38:56,511
"Shot in the head,
you get a bed." Okay ?
683
00:38:56,579 --> 00:38:59,070
"If your head is bloody,
684
00:38:59,148 --> 00:39:02,549
I want bullet wounds in this place
to be treated like cash--
685
00:39:02,619 --> 00:39:04,644
accepted everywhere.
686
00:39:06,222 --> 00:39:08,690
But not without
adequate insurance.
687
00:39:08,758 --> 00:39:10,817
"Not without adequate insurance."
688
00:39:10,894 --> 00:39:12,725
Is insurance really adequate ?
689
00:39:12,795 --> 00:39:16,026
When you pay for insurance,
do you feel assured ?
690
00:39:16,099 --> 00:39:18,226
They shouldn't even
Call it insurance.
691
00:39:18,301 --> 00:39:20,166
They should just call it
"in case shit."
692
00:39:20,236 --> 00:39:23,728
I give a company some money
in case shit happens.
693
00:39:23,806 --> 00:39:27,105
Now, if shit don't happen,
shouldn't I get my money back ?
694
00:39:27,176 --> 00:39:29,110
- Wouldn't that be fair ?
695
00:39:29,178 --> 00:39:32,909
If I had known y'all was gonna keep the
money, I would've got in an accident.
696
00:39:32,982 --> 00:39:35,075
And if you're gonna
take my money,
697
00:39:35,151 --> 00:39:38,177
at least spend the money
on some poor, sick people.
698
00:39:38,254 --> 00:39:41,018
Don't take my money
and buy a Mercedes-Benz...
699
00:39:41,090 --> 00:39:43,558
and park it in front
of Brooklyn Hospital...
700
00:39:43,626 --> 00:39:46,220
with all these broke people
gotta walk by it.
701
00:39:46,296 --> 00:39:50,392
I just got off the B-44 bus, and I
got to look at your Mercedes-Benz ?
702
00:39:50,466 --> 00:39:53,526
- I should just stab the tire !
703
00:39:53,603 --> 00:39:55,696
And why do doctors cost so much ?
704
00:39:55,772 --> 00:39:58,240
Do you know ?
Shut the hell up !
705
00:39:58,308 --> 00:40:03,177
It's like doctors chargin' all
this money for a triple bypass surgery.
706
00:40:03,246 --> 00:40:08,206
Triple bypass surgery
gonna charge somebody $100,000...
707
00:40:08,284 --> 00:40:11,378
and then got the nerve to say,
"Take it easy."
708
00:40:11,454 --> 00:40:15,083
Shit, I gotta go get a job right now
drivin' another cab or somethin'...
709
00:40:15,158 --> 00:40:17,092
just to pay off
the damn doctor !
710
00:40:18,895 --> 00:40:21,363
From now on,
we have to be different.
711
00:40:21,431 --> 00:40:25,094
Let's see how it feels to not be
the evil corporation anymore.
712
00:40:25,168 --> 00:40:28,865
Let's try takin' in people bleedin'
with bullet wounds to the head.
713
00:40:28,938 --> 00:40:30,872
Let's just try it for a change.
714
00:40:30,940 --> 00:40:33,306
I mean, we tried the other way.
We made a lot of money.
715
00:40:33,376 --> 00:40:35,310
We got paid. We got laid.
716
00:40:35,378 --> 00:40:38,245
And so what if we lose
a few million dollars ?
717
00:40:38,314 --> 00:40:41,647
Now, a lot of y'all
Look pretty pissed off.
718
00:40:41,718 --> 00:40:43,686
Look like y'all
want to get froggy.
719
00:40:43,753 --> 00:40:45,914
- Well, come on !
720
00:40:45,989 --> 00:40:47,923
What you gonna do ? Uh-uh.
721
00:40:47,991 --> 00:40:50,255
You see this foot ?
You see this foot ?
722
00:40:50,326 --> 00:40:53,853
It's from a little town called "Rich
Man's Ass," and it's gettin' homesick.
723
00:40:55,565 --> 00:40:59,194
You guys have been great.
You've been a lovely audience.
724
00:40:59,268 --> 00:41:01,259
I want to thank y'all
for showin' up.
725
00:41:01,337 --> 00:41:03,862
Drive home safely.
Tip your waitresses.
726
00:41:03,940 --> 00:41:07,103
- I gots to go. Take care.
727
00:41:07,176 --> 00:41:09,872
- Thanks a lot. Thank you.
- Mr. Wellington ?
728
00:41:09,946 --> 00:41:11,504
Pardon me. Nice shirt.
729
00:41:16,219 --> 00:41:18,312
Hey, Chuck.
730
00:41:18,388 --> 00:41:21,824
Look, l-l-l feel like
I haven't been tending to your needs,
731
00:41:21,891 --> 00:41:24,121
but I wanna
make it up to you.
732
00:41:24,193 --> 00:41:27,822
I know your biggest fantasy has
always been a menage a trois.
733
00:41:27,897 --> 00:41:31,628
And you've always had a thing
For Blanche from the club.
734
00:41:32,735 --> 00:41:34,669
Hi, Chuck.
735
00:41:36,205 --> 00:41:38,400
How'd you like to come over here
and taste me ?
736
00:41:44,714 --> 00:41:47,239
Oh, sir, the, uh,
Handcuff lady's here.
737
00:41:47,316 --> 00:41:49,011
Sontee ?
738
00:41:53,823 --> 00:41:55,757
Mr. Wellington.
739
00:41:55,825 --> 00:41:56,849
Descending from second floor.
740
00:41:56,926 --> 00:41:59,292
You know what ?
Just call me Lance.
741
00:41:59,362 --> 00:42:01,296
I thought your name was Charles.
742
00:42:01,364 --> 00:42:03,889
Yeah, but Charles
is short for Lance.
743
00:42:03,966 --> 00:42:05,900
Charles is a maiden name.
744
00:42:05,968 --> 00:42:08,766
Okay, Lance.
745
00:42:08,838 --> 00:42:11,136
Uh, I just came to say I'm sorry.
746
00:42:11,207 --> 00:42:15,576
I know I said a lot of bad things
about you, but you kept brushing me off.
747
00:42:15,645 --> 00:42:19,046
Ifyou meant all those things you said
at the board meeting-- It was so great.
748
00:42:19,115 --> 00:42:22,551
Are you hungry ? I'm sorry
To jump in, but are you hungry ?
749
00:42:22,618 --> 00:42:26,076
You gotta be hungry.
You've been workin' all day.
750
00:42:26,155 --> 00:42:29,716
I know you were out there marchin',
and you got your picket sign,
751
00:42:29,792 --> 00:42:32,784
and AI Sharpton's there,
and he ate all the food.
752
00:42:32,862 --> 00:42:35,524
- You wanna get somethin' to eat ?
- Uh, no.
753
00:42:35,598 --> 00:42:38,362
- I don't think I should.
- Come on.
754
00:42:38,434 --> 00:42:40,698
I'm not tryin' to impress you.
755
00:42:40,770 --> 00:42:42,863
I swear, I am not
tryin' to impress you.
756
00:42:42,939 --> 00:42:44,930
I-l just want to feed you.
757
00:42:45,007 --> 00:42:48,067
That's all.
We don't even have to drive.
758
00:42:48,144 --> 00:42:51,910
We can walk. We can skip.
You wanna skip to a meal ?
759
00:42:53,850 --> 00:42:55,784
I guess I am hungry.
760
00:42:55,852 --> 00:42:58,047
Come on. Let's go.
761
00:43:08,965 --> 00:43:11,433
What's the matter?
You don't like this place ?
762
00:43:11,501 --> 00:43:14,265
- No, I am just surprised.
- What ?
763
00:43:14,337 --> 00:43:18,501
- I didn't always have money.
- Yeah, right.
764
00:43:18,574 --> 00:43:20,508
You know how you visit
people in the hospital ?
765
00:43:20,576 --> 00:43:23,807
I used to go to store windows
and visit clothes I had on layaway.
766
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,940
"Used to" ? I was just visitin'
a pair of shoes last week.
767
00:43:27,016 --> 00:43:32,545
I remember this one time, I put a coat
on layaway in, I don't know, September.
768
00:43:32,622 --> 00:43:34,556
I figured I'd get it out
in the winter.
769
00:43:34,624 --> 00:43:37,531
Money got low. Couldn't get
the damn thing out till June.
770
00:43:37,665 --> 00:43:39,565
So what'd you do ?
Wait till next winter to wear it ?
771
00:43:39,633 --> 00:43:43,262
For a coat I just paid for ? Please.
I wore that coat the whole summer.
772
00:43:43,337 --> 00:43:47,239
July 4th, I was on the beach
with a goose down and a pair of shorts.
773
00:43:47,308 --> 00:43:49,640
- Stop playin'.
- I'm not playin'.
774
00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:52,577
Sweatin'. Just drown--
Just drippin' sweat. Slippin'.
775
00:43:54,148 --> 00:43:57,515
To this day, when I want to lose
some weight, I just put on a hot coat.
776
00:43:57,585 --> 00:43:59,485
That's how Ruff Ryders roll
777
00:43:59,553 --> 00:44:02,249
- Stop, drop
778
00:44:02,323 --> 00:44:04,689
Shut 'em down
Open up shop
779
00:44:04,758 --> 00:44:07,989
- Oh, no
780
00:44:08,062 --> 00:44:10,530
That's how Ruff Ryders roll
781
00:44:10,598 --> 00:44:13,260
Stop, drop
782
00:44:13,334 --> 00:44:15,825
Shut 'em down
Open up shop
783
00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:18,531
Oh, no
784
00:44:18,606 --> 00:44:21,871
That's how Ruff Ryders roll
Niggas wanna try
785
00:44:21,942 --> 00:44:24,638
- Niggas wanna lie, niggas wonder why
- What, what
786
00:44:24,712 --> 00:44:27,044
Niggas wanna die
All I feel is pain
787
00:44:27,114 --> 00:44:28,775
- All I feel is rain
- What
788
00:44:28,849 --> 00:44:31,511
- How can I maintain
- What, what
789
00:44:31,585 --> 00:44:34,486
I resort to violence
My niggas move in silence
790
00:44:34,555 --> 00:44:36,955
- Like you don't know our style
- What
791
00:44:37,024 --> 00:44:39,322
- Yo, dog.
- What
792
00:44:39,393 --> 00:44:41,327
- Took it, then we split it
793
00:44:45,900 --> 00:44:48,960
- Are you okay ?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
794
00:44:49,036 --> 00:44:52,130
- Hey !
- Have you lost your mind ?
795
00:44:52,206 --> 00:44:55,972
- I forgot who I was.
- You forgot who you were ?
796
00:44:56,043 --> 00:44:59,410
I just like the song.
DMX. "Ruff Ryders."
797
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:03,075
What if I was singing,
"Whities wanna die, Whities can't try" ?
798
00:45:03,150 --> 00:45:06,347
- Might get a record deal.
799
00:45:08,422 --> 00:45:11,516
You know, I don't believe you.
You're somethin' else.
800
00:45:11,592 --> 00:45:15,688
I didn't know what to expect,
but I didn't expect this.
801
00:45:15,763 --> 00:45:18,231
There's somethin'
About your eyes.
802
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:22,099
When I look at you, it's like
I see somebody else inside you.
803
00:45:22,169 --> 00:45:24,296
You know, even when I was
tryin' to be mad at you,
804
00:45:24,371 --> 00:45:27,670
I just can't help
but see somethin' else.
805
00:45:27,741 --> 00:45:29,800
Sounds crazy, huh ?
806
00:45:29,877 --> 00:45:32,778
No, it's-- it's not crazy.
807
00:45:32,846 --> 00:45:35,906
It's-- It's not crazy.
808
00:45:37,785 --> 00:45:40,720
- Some date, huh ?
- Date ?
809
00:45:40,788 --> 00:45:43,814
Oh, I thought you were
just tryin' to feed me.
810
00:45:43,891 --> 00:45:46,724
I was till I got
my ass whopped.
811
00:45:46,794 --> 00:45:50,252
That guy punched me like
I owed him child support.
812
00:45:50,331 --> 00:45:54,734
I picture that I
can read your mind
813
00:45:56,870 --> 00:46:02,137
- Tell you everything is going good
814
00:46:03,510 --> 00:46:05,171
See, I been waitin'
All my life
815
00:46:05,246 --> 00:46:08,272
For someone just like you
816
00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:12,979
And I know
you've been waiting too
817
00:46:13,053 --> 00:46:14,748
For someone to love you
818
00:46:14,822 --> 00:46:18,781
All you need
is someone who cares
819
00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:20,952
For someone to love you
820
00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:24,623
- Someone who will always be there
821
00:46:24,698 --> 00:46:28,190
Well, that was different
than what I thought it would be.
822
00:46:28,269 --> 00:46:31,705
Different good
or different weird ?
823
00:46:31,772 --> 00:46:33,763
It was a little bit
of both, I think.
824
00:46:33,841 --> 00:46:36,002
I guess you just didn't
seem like my type.
825
00:46:36,076 --> 00:46:39,068
Not your type.
So, uh, what's your type look like ?
826
00:46:39,146 --> 00:46:43,082
It's not all about looks. I mean,
you don't have to be fine or anything.
827
00:46:43,150 --> 00:46:45,618
I just kind of like a guy
with all of his teeth.
828
00:46:45,686 --> 00:46:47,847
Well, that's a good rule.
That's a good rule.
829
00:46:47,921 --> 00:46:52,153
I like a slim guy.
A guy with a goatee.
830
00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:54,353
Nice eyes.
And he's gotta be funny.
831
00:46:54,428 --> 00:46:56,419
Hmm.
832
00:46:56,497 --> 00:46:58,590
I guess I don't have a chance.
833
00:46:58,666 --> 00:47:00,759
- What's your type ?
- My type ?
834
00:47:00,834 --> 00:47:04,429
I like my women
same way I like my coffee--
835
00:47:04,505 --> 00:47:06,439
Puerto Rican.
836
00:47:06,507 --> 00:47:09,271
-Just playin'. Just playin'.
- You watch it.
837
00:47:10,344 --> 00:47:12,642
Oh, boy, here we are.
838
00:47:12,713 --> 00:47:14,647
So, can I call you ?
839
00:47:15,816 --> 00:47:17,977
Well, let me ask you somethin'.
840
00:47:18,052 --> 00:47:19,917
All that stuff you were sayin'
at the hospital,
841
00:47:19,987 --> 00:47:21,818
were you just tryin'
to get with me ?
842
00:47:21,889 --> 00:47:23,823
At first, yeah.
843
00:47:23,891 --> 00:47:25,950
Yeah, that's all
I could think about.
844
00:47:26,026 --> 00:47:29,689
Then I remembered what you said.
"Do somethin' positive with your money."
845
00:47:29,763 --> 00:47:34,132
So I figure, you know,
I'm in this body, I might as well help.
846
00:47:34,201 --> 00:47:36,669
I mean, if I get with you, great.
847
00:47:36,737 --> 00:47:40,173
But if not,
at least somebody'll be happy.
848
00:47:43,911 --> 00:47:46,607
You know what ?
l-l better go.
849
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:50,343
Yeah. I guess I better be goin' too.
850
00:47:50,417 --> 00:47:53,318
Yeah. I wonder
who the Knicks played.
851
00:47:53,387 --> 00:47:57,585
I think they played
the Lakers or somebody--
852
00:48:01,095 --> 00:48:03,029
I'm sorry.
853
00:48:03,097 --> 00:48:05,531
I'm sorry. W-Was I wrong ?
854
00:48:05,599 --> 00:48:08,932
No, it's-- I knew you were
gonna try to kiss me tonight,
855
00:48:09,002 --> 00:48:10,936
and I thought I'd be mad,
856
00:48:11,004 --> 00:48:12,938
but I'm not.
857
00:48:13,006 --> 00:48:15,531
It's-- It's somethin'
about your eyes.
858
00:48:15,609 --> 00:48:18,271
You know, the first kiss...
859
00:48:18,345 --> 00:48:20,575
is always in the middle
of a sentence.
860
00:48:20,647 --> 00:48:23,309
It's always like, "Yeah,
tomorrow I'm gonna go to the zoo,
861
00:48:23,384 --> 00:48:26,046
because I got this whole thing
with orangutans, and I just--"
862
00:48:28,889 --> 00:48:30,550
Or...
863
00:48:30,624 --> 00:48:34,082
it could be like, um, "Did you hear
about that new war in Russia ?
864
00:48:34,161 --> 00:48:36,254
I heard they were gonna--"
865
00:48:41,568 --> 00:48:44,731
So I can call you, right ?
I mean, just to talk.
866
00:48:44,805 --> 00:48:48,366
No nasty talk or anything. Unless
that's what you're into, then, hey !
867
00:48:49,810 --> 00:48:51,744
Good night.
868
00:48:59,720 --> 00:49:01,654
Yes ! Yes !
869
00:49:01,722 --> 00:49:04,885
- Yes ! Yes ! Yes !
870
00:49:07,895 --> 00:49:09,829
- My baby ! My baby !
- Yes !
871
00:49:09,897 --> 00:49:11,831
- Oh !
- Yes ! Yes !
872
00:49:11,899 --> 00:49:13,833
Yes, yes !
873
00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:24,443
- Yes ! Yes ! Yes, yes !
874
00:49:24,511 --> 00:49:28,845
Oh, no
That's how Ruff Ryders roll
875
00:49:28,916 --> 00:49:31,612
- Niggas wanna try, niggas wanna lie
- What, what
876
00:49:31,685 --> 00:49:34,483
Then niggas wonder why
niggas wanna die
877
00:49:34,555 --> 00:49:36,989
Yes ! Yes !
878
00:49:54,942 --> 00:49:56,910
- Get off my foot, bitch !
879
00:50:10,090 --> 00:50:13,116
- Okay, let's go.
- Hey ! Don't sneak up on me like that.
880
00:50:13,193 --> 00:50:14,990
What are you, The Great Gazoo ?
881
00:50:15,062 --> 00:50:18,190
Sorry. Hi. How are you ?
I got a new body for you.
882
00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:21,166
I don't need the body anymore.
This one's just fine.
883
00:50:21,235 --> 00:50:25,865
We have about one minute to get you
into this truly fabulous corpse.
884
00:50:25,939 --> 00:50:27,964
Hey, I'm cool with Wellington.
885
00:50:28,041 --> 00:50:30,874
You know why ?
'Cause Sontee's cool with Wellington.
886
00:50:30,944 --> 00:50:34,903
I just waited through Ol' Dirty Bastard,
Mystikal and Silkk the Shocker for you.
887
00:50:34,982 --> 00:50:37,473
Keeping this body
is not an option,
888
00:50:37,551 --> 00:50:39,109
regardless of whether
you're smitten with some girl.
889
00:50:39,186 --> 00:50:41,552
It's not some girl.
It's the girl.
890
00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:44,591
I mean, you got heaven,
But you don't got this, man.
891
00:50:44,658 --> 00:50:46,592
She's fine. She's smart.
892
00:50:46,660 --> 00:50:48,787
We like all the same stuff.
We hate all the same stuff.
893
00:50:48,862 --> 00:50:50,989
She laughs at my stupid jokes.
894
00:50:51,064 --> 00:50:53,828
And I don't have
to censor myself around her.
895
00:50:53,901 --> 00:50:57,894
But you know what ? She only knows me
as this guy Wellington.
896
00:50:57,971 --> 00:51:00,371
So I don't want
to up and change now.
897
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:03,568
Lance, trust me,
it's better this way.
898
00:51:03,644 --> 00:51:06,772
- Yo, money, gimme your wallet.
- One second.
899
00:51:08,081 --> 00:51:09,922
Are you sure I won't die
for 40 years ?
900
00:51:09,922 --> 00:51:10,854
Are you sure I won't die
for 40 years ?
901
00:51:10,923 --> 00:51:13,050
- Technically, yes--
- Mother--
902
00:51:13,125 --> 00:51:16,458
But this body's just a loaner !
Nobody listens to me.
903
00:51:16,529 --> 00:51:20,829
Come on, man ! Rob me !
Don't run ! I got money ! You bad !
904
00:51:20,900 --> 00:51:24,666
What does that mean, he wants to be
more involved with running the company ?
905
00:51:24,737 --> 00:51:27,968
It means, uh...
he wants to be more involved...
906
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,907
with, uh, running... the company.
907
00:51:30,977 --> 00:51:32,968
I thought you had him
under control.
908
00:51:33,045 --> 00:51:35,980
I do. I mean, I did. I don't
really know where this came from.
909
00:51:36,048 --> 00:51:37,982
It's like he's gone crazy.
910
00:51:38,050 --> 00:51:41,019
Maybe the fact you were shtupping
his wife changed his attitude a little.
911
00:51:41,087 --> 00:51:44,022
There's really no need
to get, uh, personal.
912
00:51:44,090 --> 00:51:46,285
I'll tell you
what I take personally:
913
00:51:46,359 --> 00:51:49,157
the statement, "What if
we lose a few million dollars ?"
914
00:51:49,228 --> 00:51:52,197
I didn't get into
this business to lose money.
915
00:51:52,265 --> 00:51:55,257
Do you think this goody-two-shoes crap
that Wellington's been spewing...
916
00:51:55,334 --> 00:51:58,895
extends to, say, auditing
the company's finances ?
917
00:51:58,971 --> 00:52:02,771
-Jesus, I hope not.
-Blah, blah, blah. Let's just kill him.
918
00:52:08,247 --> 00:52:10,181
What are you laughing about ?
919
00:52:10,249 --> 00:52:14,015
Winston, do you want to take
the lead on this one ?
920
00:52:16,622 --> 00:52:18,681
Cisco, you know what I need you to do ?
921
00:52:18,758 --> 00:52:21,192
I need you to get in contact
with a man named Whitney Daniels.
922
00:52:21,260 --> 00:52:25,560
He lives on 104th and Lennox.
Tell him I need to talk to him.
923
00:52:30,236 --> 00:52:32,466
Uh--
924
00:52:35,341 --> 00:52:39,038
Pretty sweet, huh ?
Up here, Mr. Daniels.
925
00:52:43,115 --> 00:52:47,279
Entering second floor.
926
00:52:47,353 --> 00:52:50,254
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I saw this girl the other day.
927
00:52:50,323 --> 00:52:52,257
She was ugly.
928
00:52:52,325 --> 00:52:54,953
She's so ugly, she's talkin' about
give her a booty call.
929
00:52:55,027 --> 00:52:57,791
I said, "Girl, you so ugly,
I'm gonna give you a zootie call."
930
00:52:57,863 --> 00:53:02,300
What the hell do you think you're
doing here, huh ? This isn't your act.
931
00:53:02,368 --> 00:53:06,168
Calm down. Hey, hey, hey !
Everybody, Whitney Daniels !
932
00:53:08,074 --> 00:53:10,770
- Shut up !
933
00:53:10,843 --> 00:53:13,937
You guys have been great, but we're
gonna take a little break right now.
934
00:53:14,013 --> 00:53:17,005
All right. Come on, everybody.
Let's get back to work.
935
00:53:17,083 --> 00:53:19,108
Come on.
936
00:53:20,286 --> 00:53:22,846
What the hell is going on here ?
937
00:53:22,922 --> 00:53:25,686
I know it looks kind of crazy,
but if I'm gonna get...
938
00:53:25,758 --> 00:53:29,353
an amateur spots at the Apollo,
I'm gonna need a place to work out.
939
00:53:29,428 --> 00:53:33,262
Y-You wanna do one of
the amateur spots at the Apollo ?
940
00:53:33,332 --> 00:53:35,630
You ?
941
00:53:35,701 --> 00:53:38,033
What do you do,
have your butlers...
942
00:53:38,104 --> 00:53:40,538
hang around comedy clubs
and steal people's acts ?
943
00:53:40,606 --> 00:53:43,040
- You think my act is stolen ?
- I know it is.
944
00:53:43,109 --> 00:53:45,703
Personally, I would have
stolen some better material.
945
00:53:45,778 --> 00:53:48,713
But the kid who wrote it,
he used to work it pretty well and--
946
00:53:48,781 --> 00:53:50,715
Two Rheingolds comin' at ya.
947
00:53:50,783 --> 00:53:52,944
Thanks a lot, Cisco.
948
00:53:54,754 --> 00:53:57,689
Damn, you took everything
from the kid, huh ?
949
00:53:57,757 --> 00:54:02,820
Don't tell me that Rheingold
is all you can afford, Mr. Wellington.
950
00:54:02,895 --> 00:54:04,829
Whit, I didn't steal anything.
951
00:54:04,897 --> 00:54:08,560
I just want to play the Apollo. You're
the only man who can help me do it.
952
00:54:08,634 --> 00:54:11,398
No. I'm out
of the comedy business.
953
00:54:11,470 --> 00:54:13,995
Last person
I was gonna help is dead.
954
00:54:14,073 --> 00:54:17,236
But, anyway,
he was a special case.
955
00:54:17,309 --> 00:54:20,403
Really ?
What was so special about him ?
956
00:54:20,479 --> 00:54:23,380
About him ? Nothin', really,
ifyou want to know.
957
00:54:23,449 --> 00:54:26,543
He didn't have much talent to speak of.
958
00:54:26,619 --> 00:54:29,918
But no matter
how bad it went--
959
00:54:29,989 --> 00:54:32,890
and, believe me, sometimes
it went really bad--
960
00:54:32,958 --> 00:54:35,586
he wanted to get back onstage.
961
00:54:37,763 --> 00:54:40,095
He was a good kid.
962
00:54:40,166 --> 00:54:43,101
And I wanted to be there
when things got good for him, but--
963
00:54:52,078 --> 00:54:54,046
Thanks for the beer.
964
00:54:54,113 --> 00:54:56,638
Whitney, it's me-- Lance.
965
00:54:56,716 --> 00:54:59,150
Uh-- I got hit by a truck,
966
00:54:59,218 --> 00:55:02,483
and I went up to heaven,
and they took my body quick.
967
00:55:02,555 --> 00:55:04,921
And I'm in heaven,
and it's all blue.
968
00:55:04,990 --> 00:55:07,823
And this guy--
And then the other guy, Mr. King,
969
00:55:07,893 --> 00:55:10,157
he looked like Ricky Ricardo and--
970
00:55:10,229 --> 00:55:14,495
I don't know if it's drugs you're takin'
or drugs you need to be takin',
971
00:55:14,567 --> 00:55:17,627
but do something.
972
00:55:17,703 --> 00:55:22,731
Whitney, remember when we did
that gig in Atlantic City ?
973
00:55:22,808 --> 00:55:26,437
They were supposed to pay us 500,
but they only gave us 250.
974
00:55:26,512 --> 00:55:29,447
And we got real drunk
and hung out with these two girls.
975
00:55:29,515 --> 00:55:32,882
We got so drunk, we thought
they was transvestites.
976
00:55:32,952 --> 00:55:34,886
Turns out they weren't
transvestites.
977
00:55:34,954 --> 00:55:37,218
They were just
two real ugly girls.
978
00:55:37,289 --> 00:55:40,952
Then we brought 'em back to the hotel,
hung out with 'em, fell asleep.
979
00:55:41,026 --> 00:55:43,859
When we woke up,
what did we find out ?
980
00:55:43,929 --> 00:55:46,295
They robbed us !
981
00:55:46,365 --> 00:55:49,300
Yeah, man ! They--
982
00:55:56,642 --> 00:55:58,576
Booey !
983
00:56:00,045 --> 00:56:01,979
Yeah ! Whoo !
984
00:56:02,047 --> 00:56:04,811
- Th-This is impossible.
- What's so impossible about it ?
985
00:56:04,884 --> 00:56:06,818
You been going to church
your whole life.
986
00:56:06,886 --> 00:56:09,081
You've been putting money
in the collection plate every week.
987
00:56:09,155 --> 00:56:12,454
This is just
your tax dollars at work.
988
00:56:12,525 --> 00:56:14,959
Wait a minute. God--
989
00:56:15,027 --> 00:56:17,325
What's God like ?
Does He have a sense of humor ?
990
00:56:17,396 --> 00:56:20,524
I haven't met God,
but the devil got some good weed.
991
00:56:20,599 --> 00:56:22,590
I'm just joking.
992
00:56:22,668 --> 00:56:24,602
Just playin', man.
993
00:56:24,670 --> 00:56:28,538
I haven't even met him yet,
but I met this guy, Mr. King.
994
00:56:28,607 --> 00:56:32,008
-He's kind of like the manager up there.
-Manager ? Wait--
995
00:56:32,077 --> 00:56:35,342
Lance. Just because you built
a comedy club in your own home,
996
00:56:35,414 --> 00:56:37,575
it doesn't mean
you can pull this off.
997
00:56:37,650 --> 00:56:41,416
You gotta work your material
in front of a real audience.
998
00:56:41,487 --> 00:56:44,650
I got an audience.
You heard me gettin' laughs.
999
00:56:46,659 --> 00:56:48,684
You ain't my type
but I think I like you
1000
00:56:48,761 --> 00:56:51,252
Doin' just fine
but I think I like you
1001
00:56:51,330 --> 00:56:54,390
You ain't the right height
but I think I like you
1002
00:56:54,466 --> 00:56:56,457
Wasn't love at first sight
but I think I like you
1003
00:56:56,535 --> 00:56:59,595
They say you're kinda rude
but I think I like you
1004
00:56:59,672 --> 00:57:02,664
I don't like your crew
but I think I like you
1005
00:57:02,741 --> 00:57:04,766
What else do we got ?
1006
00:57:04,844 --> 00:57:07,108
"Your mother has so much hair
under her arms,
1007
00:57:07,179 --> 00:57:09,340
it looks like she has
Buckwheat in a headlock."
1008
00:57:09,415 --> 00:57:11,713
I don't know why
but I think I like you
1009
00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:18,315
You ain't my type
but I think I like you
1010
00:57:18,390 --> 00:57:20,824
You know what I like
about telling jokes ? It's pure.
1011
00:57:20,893 --> 00:57:24,090
It's like Boxing 1 01 .
You versus the audience.
1012
00:57:24,163 --> 00:57:26,427
It's not like music.
Nobody cares what you look like.
1013
00:57:26,498 --> 00:57:28,489
Nobody cares
what you're wearing.
1014
00:57:28,567 --> 00:57:32,230
People just want to know
If you're funny. Can you bring it ?
1015
00:57:32,304 --> 00:57:36,070
And I just wanna go to the Apollo
and bring it one time.
1016
00:57:36,141 --> 00:57:38,735
What about that stuff
you were saying at the hospital ?
1017
00:57:38,811 --> 00:57:42,941
People think that stuff every day,
but you never hear anybody say it.
1018
00:57:43,015 --> 00:57:47,247
- I was just talkin'.
- Yeah, but it worked.
1019
00:57:47,319 --> 00:57:50,311
- What do you mean, worked ?
- It was funny.
1020
00:57:53,392 --> 00:57:55,553
Ooh-ooh
1021
00:57:55,628 --> 00:57:58,028
Shake ya ass
But watch yaself
1022
00:57:58,097 --> 00:58:00,531
Shake ya ass
Show me what you workin' with
1023
00:58:00,599 --> 00:58:04,296
Shakeya ass, but watch yaself
Shakeya ass
1024
00:58:04,370 --> 00:58:07,362
- What's up, G ?
1025
00:58:07,439 --> 00:58:10,374
Don't make me leave here
with my foot in your-- Be cool
1026
00:58:10,442 --> 00:58:12,967
Welcome home, G.
1027
00:58:13,045 --> 00:58:14,910
What are you doing ?
1028
00:58:16,148 --> 00:58:18,241
Backin' that ass up.
1029
00:58:18,317 --> 00:58:21,946
- Full grown German shepherd
- How about you and me knock boots ?
1030
00:58:22,021 --> 00:58:24,387
Down
Y'all can't catch me
1031
00:58:24,456 --> 00:58:29,393
It's just, you know, I've noticed
lately you've been into the whole...
1032
00:58:29,461 --> 00:58:31,827
-Jet magazine thing and--
- Listen.
1033
00:58:31,897 --> 00:58:36,163
- I want a divorce.
- Is it because I tried to jack you ?
1034
00:58:36,235 --> 00:58:40,672
No, no, no. It's got nothing
to do with you trying to jack me.
1035
00:58:40,739 --> 00:58:43,874
The truth is...
there's somebody else.
1036
00:58:44,008 --> 00:58:46,977
Oh. Ya got another ho.
1037
00:58:47,044 --> 00:58:51,413
Look, just divorce me.
1038
00:58:51,482 --> 00:58:54,417
You can have whatever you want.
I don't want it.
1039
00:58:54,485 --> 00:58:57,579
- Word ?
- Word.
1040
00:58:57,655 --> 00:59:00,590
You know, you're
a great person inside.
1041
00:59:00,658 --> 00:59:05,254
And you need to get in touch
with the person inside.
1042
00:59:05,329 --> 00:59:10,096
And until you do that,
you need to stay... inside.
1043
00:59:10,167 --> 00:59:12,260
So take care, all right ?
1044
00:59:14,705 --> 00:59:17,367
He's lost his mind.
1045
00:59:17,441 --> 00:59:19,534
- Your next act, ladies and gentlemen.
1046
00:59:19,610 --> 00:59:22,977
He loves comedy so much,
he bought the whole damn club.
1047
00:59:23,047 --> 00:59:25,948
Please put your hands together
for Charles Wellington Ill.
1048
00:59:26,016 --> 00:59:28,280
- You all right ?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
1049
00:59:28,352 --> 00:59:29,649
- You ready ?
- I'm ready.
1050
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:30,982
- How you feel ?
- I feel good.
1051
00:59:31,055 --> 00:59:33,888
Great, 'cause they're here--
The judges from the Apollo.
1052
00:59:33,958 --> 00:59:36,119
Charles Wellington,
ladies and gentlemen.
1053
00:59:40,564 --> 00:59:42,828
How're you doin' ?
All right.
1054
00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:46,097
When I was a kid,
we were so poor...
1055
00:59:46,170 --> 00:59:50,004
that the roaches
was on welfare.
1056
00:59:50,074 --> 00:59:52,042
Poor, my ass.
1057
00:59:52,109 --> 00:59:55,203
-Get off the stage, you fake Bill Gates.
1058
00:59:58,616 --> 01:00:01,813
Yeah, we was real poor.
1059
01:00:01,886 --> 01:00:03,854
We were so poor...
1060
01:00:03,921 --> 01:00:06,253
that the rats had bald spots.
1061
01:00:06,323 --> 01:00:08,382
Crap. Cripitty-crap-crap.
1062
01:00:08,459 --> 01:00:12,259
I'm supposed to sit here and listen to
this crap just because you own the club?
1063
01:00:12,329 --> 01:00:13,921
Rich son of a bitch.
1064
01:00:13,998 --> 01:00:16,193
- Oooh !
- That's comedy. That's comedy.
1065
01:00:16,267 --> 01:00:18,895
Drinks for everybody.
That, my friend, is comedy.
1066
01:00:18,969 --> 01:00:22,029
- Allright ?
1067
01:00:22,106 --> 01:00:24,404
Shut up before I crush you
with my wallet.
1068
01:00:24,475 --> 01:00:26,636
- Ooh !
1069
01:00:26,710 --> 01:00:30,146
Bothering me on the job.
Do I come to your job and bother you ?
1070
01:00:30,214 --> 01:00:33,240
Do I kick the squeegee
out your hand ? No.
1071
01:00:33,317 --> 01:00:37,048
I leave it right there.
Let you get all the cars all day long.
1072
01:00:38,422 --> 01:00:41,619
- I didn't always have money.
1073
01:00:41,692 --> 01:00:44,786
No, no, no.
When I was a kid, we really was poor.
1074
01:00:47,698 --> 01:00:50,633
My dad was the cheapest man on Earth.
My father's so cheap...
1075
01:00:50,701 --> 01:00:53,534
that when we went to bed,
he'd unplug the clocks.
1076
01:00:56,974 --> 01:00:59,465
"You can't tell time
when you asleep."
1077
01:01:02,479 --> 01:01:05,812
And the last spot for
the Apollo's final show goes to...
1078
01:01:05,883 --> 01:01:09,216
millionaire Charles Wellington
from New York City.
1079
01:01:09,286 --> 01:01:12,585
And to make the night right, closing out
the show will be Brian McKnight.
1080
01:01:13,991 --> 01:01:16,824
Boy, I don't know
what got into that Wellington,
1081
01:01:16,894 --> 01:01:18,828
but I like him.
1082
01:01:18,896 --> 01:01:23,560
It was a long time ago.
1083
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:32,775
Furis murder! Furis murder!
1084
01:01:32,843 --> 01:01:35,368
- Fur is murder !
- Furis murder!
1085
01:01:35,446 --> 01:01:37,778
- Furis murder!
- I'm gonna show you murder !
1086
01:01:39,450 --> 01:01:41,611
Don't be stingy.
1087
01:01:43,554 --> 01:01:46,387
Stick to the soft stuff.
You can gum it.
1088
01:01:46,457 --> 01:01:48,391
Kiss my ass.
1089
01:01:48,459 --> 01:01:50,757
I'm so glad we're giving
back to the community.
1090
01:01:50,828 --> 01:01:53,626
Put on the hat. Put it on.
1091
01:01:53,697 --> 01:01:56,791
So I still gotta get onstage
and not get booed off.
1092
01:01:56,867 --> 01:01:58,801
You're doin' pretty good.
1093
01:01:58,869 --> 01:02:01,531
- Thank you for the party.
- No problem, sickie.
1094
01:02:01,605 --> 01:02:04,335
You take care...
ya sick bastard.
1095
01:02:05,709 --> 01:02:07,870
See what you got here.
1096
01:02:07,945 --> 01:02:10,539
Damn, you're sick !
You're a sick man !
1097
01:02:10,614 --> 01:02:14,846
- Let's get this man a table dance !
- Yes, sir.
1098
01:02:16,387 --> 01:02:18,321
So will you marry me ?
1099
01:02:18,389 --> 01:02:20,323
- What ?
- Sontee,
1100
01:02:20,391 --> 01:02:24,657
I love lookin' at you; I love talking
to you; I love laughing with you.
1101
01:02:24,728 --> 01:02:27,162
You know, sometimes
when I can't find you,
1102
01:02:27,231 --> 01:02:28,858
I call your house just to listen
to your answering machine...
1103
01:02:28,932 --> 01:02:31,162
because I love your voice.
1104
01:02:31,235 --> 01:02:36,036
The cars, the money, all this stuff,
I'd give it all up just for you.
1105
01:02:36,106 --> 01:02:40,042
You know, today I changed the diaper
Of an 86-year-old man,
1106
01:02:40,110 --> 01:02:42,476
and I'd give it all up
just for you.
1107
01:02:42,546 --> 01:02:44,912
That's a big sacrifice.
1108
01:02:44,982 --> 01:02:47,542
Mr. Barton ?
1109
01:02:50,487 --> 01:02:53,479
- What ?
- Nothing.
1110
01:02:55,592 --> 01:02:57,822
- Hold that thought.
- Okay.
1111
01:02:57,895 --> 01:02:59,692
I'll be right back.
1112
01:03:01,465 --> 01:03:04,832
- I said hold that thought.
- Okay.
1113
01:03:15,579 --> 01:03:18,343
Keyes, what are you doing ? Get outta
here. You're deathin' up the place.
1114
01:03:18,415 --> 01:03:21,179
Lance, you gotta come with me.
You can't stay in this body.
1115
01:03:21,251 --> 01:03:25,278
Can't you see I'm busy ?
Go have yourself some ribs.
1116
01:03:25,355 --> 01:03:27,880
Hey, I'm not
the bad guy here !
1117
01:03:27,958 --> 01:03:30,290
Can I take
my hands down now ?
1118
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:33,454
Yes, you can take
your hands down.
1119
01:03:33,530 --> 01:03:35,862
So you really want
to get married ?
1120
01:03:35,933 --> 01:03:40,131
I really want to get married.
Just look at me. You know I'm not lying.
1121
01:03:40,204 --> 01:03:42,798
I know.
1122
01:03:42,873 --> 01:03:46,138
There's something
about your eyes.
1123
01:03:46,210 --> 01:03:49,407
Sontee, I just want
to remember all of this.
1124
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:53,246
I don't want you to forget me.
You're not gonna forget me, right ?
1125
01:03:53,317 --> 01:03:56,252
- You act like something's gonna happen.
- Nothing's gonna happen.
1126
01:03:56,320 --> 01:03:59,346
I'm just saying, though,
If something did happen,
1127
01:03:59,423 --> 01:04:01,948
like... someday you met a guy--
1128
01:04:02,025 --> 01:04:05,153
It could be a black guy,
a white guy, a Spanish guy.
1129
01:04:05,229 --> 01:04:08,426
I mean, if he was sincere,
you'd give him a shot, right ?
1130
01:04:08,499 --> 01:04:10,933
Wait a minute.
What are you talking about ?
1131
01:04:18,542 --> 01:04:20,476
Everything's all right.
1132
01:04:20,544 --> 01:04:23,411
Everything's all right.
1133
01:04:27,184 --> 01:04:29,448
So you brought the big gun, huh ?
1134
01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:31,784
You gotta play by the rules
like everybody else.
1135
01:04:31,855 --> 01:04:34,346
I played by the rules my whole life,
and I'm sick of it.
1136
01:04:34,424 --> 01:04:37,689
- From now on, I make the rules.
- No one makes these rules.
1137
01:04:37,761 --> 01:04:39,695
But you make all the mistakes.
1138
01:04:39,763 --> 01:04:42,357
Every time I get something
going, you take my body.
1139
01:04:42,432 --> 01:04:45,299
This was just a temporary setup.
The clock ran out.
1140
01:04:47,538 --> 01:04:50,336
I'm not scared of you, King.
I got lawyers now. I got money.
1141
01:04:50,407 --> 01:04:53,035
- Makes no difference.
- But I can't go now.
1142
01:04:53,110 --> 01:04:55,635
I'm supposed to play the Apollo,
and I'm in love.
1143
01:04:55,712 --> 01:04:58,374
- This is bigger than that.
- Nothin's bigger than that.
1144
01:04:58,448 --> 01:04:59,437
This is fate.
1145
01:04:59,516 --> 01:05:01,882
How come every time something
bad happens to me, it's fate,
1146
01:05:01,952 --> 01:05:04,477
and every time something good
happens to me, it's luck ?
1147
01:05:04,555 --> 01:05:07,183
Is anything good
supposed to happen to me ?
1148
01:05:08,358 --> 01:05:10,952
- No.
1149
01:05:14,431 --> 01:05:16,296
Somebody call 9-1 -1 !
1150
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:26,334
Sorry, Lance. I tried to warn you.
1151
01:05:26,410 --> 01:05:29,345
- King, you gotta get me back.
- No dice.
1152
01:05:29,413 --> 01:05:33,008
- We had a deal.
- I'll do anything. I'll be anybody.
1153
01:05:33,083 --> 01:05:36,018
- There'll be consequences.
- I'll take 'em.
1154
01:05:36,086 --> 01:05:38,350
Just get me back!
1155
01:05:56,006 --> 01:05:59,601
- Hello, Sontee.
1156
01:05:59,676 --> 01:06:03,112
I just can't believe he's gone,
just like that.
1157
01:06:07,150 --> 01:06:09,084
He's not gone, Sontee.
1158
01:06:09,152 --> 01:06:12,178
I know in a way
he's gonna live on, but--
1159
01:06:12,256 --> 01:06:14,190
No, no, honestly.
1160
01:06:14,258 --> 01:06:17,159
You think you loved
Charles Wellington,
1161
01:06:17,227 --> 01:06:21,254
but really you loved
someone inside of him.
1162
01:06:21,331 --> 01:06:23,629
He didn't die tonight.
1163
01:06:23,700 --> 01:06:25,861
He's living on somewhere.
1164
01:06:25,936 --> 01:06:27,995
I'm sure of it.
1165
01:06:28,071 --> 01:06:30,232
And he'll always remember us.
1166
01:06:30,307 --> 01:06:32,275
So what are we doin' here ?
1167
01:06:32,342 --> 01:06:35,243
This is your future, kid.
1168
01:06:35,312 --> 01:06:37,837
- You mean I'm gonna be Joe Guy ?
- That's the plan.
1169
01:06:37,915 --> 01:06:39,507
I don't want to take his life.
1170
01:06:39,583 --> 01:06:41,778
He's about to play the Apollo.
He's a nice guy.
1171
01:06:41,852 --> 01:06:45,083
That's his destiny. This is yours.
It'll all work out for the best.
1172
01:06:45,155 --> 01:06:48,750
I'm not so sure with you.
Look out, Joe !
1173
01:07:10,010 --> 01:07:12,501
Air bags.
1174
01:07:12,579 --> 01:07:15,377
Air bags.
1175
01:07:15,449 --> 01:07:17,644
Taxi ! Taxi !
1176
01:07:17,718 --> 01:07:20,551
Hey !
1177
01:07:20,621 --> 01:07:22,782
Taxi !
1178
01:07:22,856 --> 01:07:25,222
- Taxi ! Taxi !
1179
01:07:27,294 --> 01:07:30,730
Taxi ! Taxi, taxi, taxi !
1180
01:07:33,867 --> 01:07:36,529
I'm black again !
1181
01:07:36,603 --> 01:07:40,437
I'm black again !
I'm a black man !
1182
01:07:44,011 --> 01:07:46,377
People are questioning
Winston Sklar,
1183
01:07:46,446 --> 01:07:48,812
who worked for Wellington,
in relation to the murder.
1184
01:07:48,882 --> 01:07:52,374
To the people who knew him,
Charles Wellington was two men.:
1185
01:07:52,452 --> 01:07:54,477
a ruthless, cutthroat businessman...
1186
01:07:54,555 --> 01:07:57,456
and, more recently,
a kind philanthropist.
1187
01:07:57,524 --> 01:08:02,188
That man who got shot in the park today,
that wasn't no Charles Wellington.
1188
01:08:02,262 --> 01:08:05,561
That Wellington, he was always a cheap--
1189
01:08:05,632 --> 01:08:08,601
no-good mother--
with a stick up his--
1190
01:08:08,669 --> 01:08:11,866
Now, the man in the park today,
he was somebody else.
1191
01:08:11,939 --> 01:08:14,965
He was my brother.
I loved that man.
1192
01:08:15,042 --> 01:08:17,135
Chuck Wellington.
1193
01:08:17,211 --> 01:08:20,578
There will never be
another one like him.
1194
01:08:20,647 --> 01:08:24,481
- I can't believe he's gone.
- He's done. No more questions.
1195
01:08:24,551 --> 01:08:28,988
Thanks, Ted. Charles Wellington Ill,
dead at the age of 53.
1196
01:08:29,056 --> 01:08:32,890
He leaves behind his wife Amber,
a dog, Elle, and a sizable--
1197
01:08:32,960 --> 01:08:34,951
I don't want you to forget me.
1198
01:08:35,028 --> 01:08:37,121
You're not gonna
forget me, right ?
1199
01:08:37,197 --> 01:08:40,189
There's something about your eyes.
1200
01:08:40,267 --> 01:08:42,462
Everything's allright.
1201
01:08:42,536 --> 01:08:45,369
Everything's allright.
1202
01:08:45,439 --> 01:08:47,964
The eccentric billionaire left the bulk
of his estate to city charities,
1203
01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:51,738
his personal friends
and his loyal domestic staff.
1204
01:08:51,812 --> 01:08:54,246
It's Showtime at the Apollo
one last time...
1205
01:08:54,314 --> 01:08:57,875
as the venerable Harlem institution
closes its doors for good.
1206
01:08:57,951 --> 01:09:00,715
- I'm not wakin' up tomorrow mornin'
1207
01:09:00,787 --> 01:09:05,417
And findin' that
there's nobody there
1208
01:09:05,492 --> 01:09:07,517
No, no, no, no way
1209
01:09:07,594 --> 01:09:10,529
Hey, Whitney.
I haven't seen you in a while.
1210
01:09:10,597 --> 01:09:13,532
What ya doin' backstage ?
How about a loan ?
1211
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:15,932
No. Stop it.
1212
01:09:16,003 --> 01:09:18,494
Guess I'm just,
uh, hangin' out.
1213
01:09:18,572 --> 01:09:21,063
Yeah. I miss Booey too.
1214
01:09:21,141 --> 01:09:23,735
Love me
1215
01:09:23,810 --> 01:09:26,142
- Thankyou.
1216
01:09:32,019 --> 01:09:34,180
- Lance ?
- No, I'm Phil.
1217
01:09:34,254 --> 01:09:36,188
Sorry.
1218
01:09:36,256 --> 01:09:39,089
How about a hand for your next act,
Mr. Joe Guy.
1219
01:09:39,159 --> 01:09:42,026
- Give it up for Joe Guy.
1220
01:09:42,095 --> 01:09:44,461
- Hey, Whit.
- Oh, hey, Joe.
1221
01:09:56,643 --> 01:10:00,636
- Make me laugh !
1222
01:10:00,714 --> 01:10:04,377
- Apollo ! Yeah !
1223
01:10:04,451 --> 01:10:07,648
So, what is it all about ?
1224
01:10:07,721 --> 01:10:10,383
Looks ?
Looks will determine everything.
1225
01:10:10,457 --> 01:10:13,392
You know, you want people
To judge you by your character,
1226
01:10:13,460 --> 01:10:17,226
you know, what you feel inside,
but nobody cares.
1227
01:10:17,297 --> 01:10:19,561
People, all they care about
is your looks.
1228
01:10:19,633 --> 01:10:21,726
I'm sorry, ifyou look good,
you're gonna have a good life.
1229
01:10:21,802 --> 01:10:24,066
You look bad,
ooh, you better work on it.
1230
01:10:24,137 --> 01:10:27,470
That's right, the uglier you are,
the smarter you better be.
1231
01:10:27,541 --> 01:10:30,476
For every ten pounds
you are overweight,
1232
01:10:30,544 --> 01:10:32,535
you better pick up a book.
1233
01:10:32,612 --> 01:10:36,013
Or you better get two books,
and get a computer while you're at it.
1234
01:10:42,189 --> 01:10:45,420
Lance ? Oh, yeah.
1235
01:10:45,492 --> 01:10:48,928
That's right.
I was at the Knick game the other day.
1236
01:10:48,996 --> 01:10:52,227
I'm looking at the seats.
The higher the seats got,
1237
01:10:52,299 --> 01:10:55,700
- the uglier the people got.
1238
01:10:55,769 --> 01:10:58,602
If I was a usher,
I wouldn't even need tickets.
1239
01:10:58,672 --> 01:11:02,472
I'd just look at faces.
Whoo ! You gotta go up top !
1240
01:11:06,513 --> 01:11:07,946
One thing I love about women.
1241
01:11:08,015 --> 01:11:11,781
Women can fall in love
with a ugly man and admit it.
1242
01:11:11,852 --> 01:11:13,979
Show him off to all her friends
and the family.
1243
01:11:14,054 --> 01:11:15,487
He'd be the ugliest guy in the world,
1244
01:11:15,555 --> 01:11:17,819
and they'd be so proud
of their ugly man.
1245
01:11:17,891 --> 01:11:20,553
They'll hold his hand like,
"l want you to meet Kevin.
1246
01:11:20,627 --> 01:11:23,152
"l just want you to meet Kevin.
He's a nice guy.
1247
01:11:23,230 --> 01:11:27,189
I know he don't look that good...
but he's good to me !"
1248
01:11:27,267 --> 01:11:29,599
- Women cool like that.
1249
01:11:29,669 --> 01:11:31,660
Guys would never admit to being
in love with an ugly woman.
1250
01:11:31,738 --> 01:11:33,672
We'll hide it to the death !
1251
01:11:33,740 --> 01:11:35,765
We ain't tellin' nobody !
1252
01:11:35,842 --> 01:11:37,833
That's right,
we ain't tellin' nobody.
1253
01:11:37,911 --> 01:11:40,709
"Heard you got married."
"Who told you that ?"
1254
01:11:40,781 --> 01:11:42,715
- That's it.
1255
01:11:42,783 --> 01:11:46,219
What's life all about, man ?
What is it all about ?
1256
01:11:46,286 --> 01:11:49,722
You want, you know, love.
Love, love, love, love, love.
1257
01:11:49,790 --> 01:11:52,987
You wanna be in love.
You want that new love.
1258
01:11:53,060 --> 01:11:56,689
You want-- You want to feel
that first kiss again.
1259
01:11:56,763 --> 01:12:00,028
That's right, 'cause that's
the only real kiss in a relationship,
1260
01:12:00,100 --> 01:12:02,193
is the first kiss.
1261
01:12:02,269 --> 01:12:06,205
All the rest of the kisses
Are just--just protocol.
1262
01:12:06,273 --> 01:12:10,175
Every other kiss is just protocol.
That's all it is, just routine.
1263
01:12:10,243 --> 01:12:13,269
Hey ! You was gone.
You back.
1264
01:12:13,346 --> 01:12:15,314
Hey, we havin' sex.
1265
01:12:15,382 --> 01:12:17,475
Hey, I miss you.
1266
01:12:17,551 --> 01:12:21,180
It's all routine.
The first kiss is the only real one...
1267
01:12:21,254 --> 01:12:24,746
'cause it always happens, like,
in the middle of a conversation.
1268
01:12:24,825 --> 01:12:27,589
You don't even know what you're
talking about. "Yeah, you know.
1269
01:12:27,661 --> 01:12:30,494
"Maybe someday I was thinking
about maybe trying to get the Acura--"
1270
01:12:30,564 --> 01:12:33,556
- Uhh !
1271
01:12:33,633 --> 01:12:37,501
You never know ! The first kiss
is always like double Dutch.
1272
01:12:37,571 --> 01:12:41,337
You're just sittin' there like,
"When do I get in ? When do I get in ?
1273
01:12:41,408 --> 01:12:44,502
"Aaah ! Yeah ! I'm kissin' !
I'm kissin', I'm kissin', I'm kissin',
1274
01:12:44,578 --> 01:12:46,808
- I'm kissin' , I'm kissin' !"
1275
01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:50,441
- Hey, I gotta go. Y'all be good.
1276
01:12:57,357 --> 01:12:59,882
That's my dog.
1277
01:13:04,898 --> 01:13:07,230
Joe Guy, ladies and gentlemen.
Joe Guy.
1278
01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:10,963
The next act is also a comedian.
How about a hand for Mr. Mike Green !
1279
01:13:11,037 --> 01:13:13,028
Whitney.
1280
01:13:13,106 --> 01:13:15,165
Lance.
1281
01:13:16,710 --> 01:13:20,305
They didn't boo.
They didn't boo !
1282
01:13:20,380 --> 01:13:21,779
- Why don't they make the whole thing...
1283
01:13:21,848 --> 01:13:24,282
out of a black box ?
1284
01:13:24,351 --> 01:13:27,616
We are back in business, huh ?
1285
01:13:27,687 --> 01:13:30,747
I'm back, Whit. You and me.
1286
01:13:30,824 --> 01:13:34,260
Lance, I'm proud of you.
1287
01:13:42,102 --> 01:13:44,832
- Lance.
- Mr. King.
1288
01:13:44,905 --> 01:13:47,965
-Keyes.
-Hey, congratulations. You killed 'em !
1289
01:13:48,041 --> 01:13:50,009
- We're cool, right ?
1290
01:13:50,076 --> 01:13:53,341
- Oh, we're cool, man. We're real cool.
- Lance, we gotta talk.
1291
01:13:53,413 --> 01:13:56,814
Remember our deal?
Wellington was just a temporary setup.
1292
01:13:56,883 --> 01:13:59,875
This is the real thing.
This is your body.
1293
01:13:59,953 --> 01:14:02,285
Start to set up house,
'cause this is you.
1294
01:14:02,355 --> 01:14:05,950
I'll sign the lease right now.
I'll give you two months in advance.
1295
01:14:06,026 --> 01:14:08,722
Joe, that was
the shiznit, son.
1296
01:14:08,795 --> 01:14:11,161
Listen to Phil Quon.
You about to shine.
1297
01:14:11,231 --> 01:14:13,199
- Kid, listen to me.
1298
01:14:13,266 --> 01:14:15,791
When we leave,
you will be Joe Guy.
1299
01:14:15,869 --> 01:14:18,303
You won't remember Keyes;
you won't remember me.
1300
01:14:18,371 --> 01:14:19,804
Get outta here, man !
1301
01:14:19,873 --> 01:14:23,331
I'm gonna remember you like
you whooped my ass in third grade.
1302
01:14:23,410 --> 01:14:26,379
Lance, you're not getting it.
1303
01:14:26,446 --> 01:14:29,677
You see, you won't remember
Charles Wellington, Sontee.
1304
01:14:29,749 --> 01:14:32,183
You won't even remember
Lance Barton.
1305
01:14:32,252 --> 01:14:34,743
You will be Joe Guy.
1306
01:14:34,821 --> 01:14:37,439
What do you mean,
I won't remember Sontee ?
1307
01:14:37,573 --> 01:14:39,632
- I'm sorry, Lance.
- You're sorry ?
1308
01:14:39,708 --> 01:14:44,008
I got hit by a truck;
I got smashed by a car;, I got shot,
1309
01:14:44,079 --> 01:14:47,310
and now you wanna take my soul ?
What are you, the Blair Witch ?
1310
01:14:47,383 --> 01:14:50,784
I can't take your soul.
Nobody could do that.
1311
01:14:50,853 --> 01:14:53,788
Where you're from, what you look like,
that's just clothing.
1312
01:14:53,856 --> 01:14:57,815
How am I supposed to get Sontee
if I don't remember Sontee ?
1313
01:14:57,893 --> 01:15:01,693
No, no, no, how am I supposed to get
Sontee if Sontee doesn't remember me ?
1314
01:15:01,764 --> 01:15:04,130
The funny thing
about reincarnation, kid:
1315
01:15:04,199 --> 01:15:07,134
Even when you're not you,
you're still you.
1316
01:15:07,202 --> 01:15:09,170
Don't worry.
I got a good feeling about this.
1317
01:15:09,238 --> 01:15:11,672
Don't worry ?
I had a hard enough time...
1318
01:15:11,740 --> 01:15:13,833
trying to get this girl
as a rich white man.
1319
01:15:13,909 --> 01:15:17,174
Do you know how hard it's gonna be
to try to get her as a broke black man ?
1320
01:15:17,246 --> 01:15:20,044
See you around, Joe.
1321
01:15:21,717 --> 01:15:23,912
That's what I'm talking about.
You and me on the road.
1322
01:15:23,986 --> 01:15:28,685
We could blow up, son !
Joe, are you allright ?
1323
01:15:28,757 --> 01:15:30,850
Lance.
1324
01:15:30,926 --> 01:15:33,690
L-Lance.
1325
01:15:33,762 --> 01:15:37,027
Hey, Lance, come on, man.
Let's celebrate.
1326
01:15:37,099 --> 01:15:40,762
- I got some big plans for us.
- What are you talking about ?
1327
01:15:40,836 --> 01:15:45,364
Lance, come on.
Nobody else is around.
1328
01:15:46,775 --> 01:15:50,438
- Why do you keep calling me Lance ?
- Uh--
1329
01:15:50,512 --> 01:15:53,345
Look at me for--
for a second, will ya ?
1330
01:15:57,586 --> 01:15:59,952
- Lance.
-Joe Guy.
1331
01:16:01,790 --> 01:16:05,351
Oh, you mean your boy,
Lance Barton.
1332
01:16:05,427 --> 01:16:09,363
Oh, I'm sorry.
You're still dealing with that, huh ?
1333
01:16:09,431 --> 01:16:11,399
Yeah.
1334
01:16:11,467 --> 01:16:15,733
Yeah, l, uh... guess I am.
1335
01:16:15,804 --> 01:16:18,295
- Look. Mr. Daniels--
- Whitney.
1336
01:16:18,373 --> 01:16:21,103
Okay. Whitney,
I don't have a manager.
1337
01:16:21,176 --> 01:16:24,475
Would it be cool to come by
your office and leave a tape ?
1338
01:16:24,546 --> 01:16:28,004
You know, like maybe
you could take me on ?
1339
01:16:29,218 --> 01:16:31,209
Yeah. Sure.
1340
01:16:31,286 --> 01:16:33,413
Call me tomorrow, huh ?
1341
01:16:33,489 --> 01:16:36,458
You're, uh--
1342
01:16:36,525 --> 01:16:38,459
You're a good kid.
1343
01:16:38,527 --> 01:16:41,155
Thanks a lot.
I'm gonna call you tomorrow.
1344
01:16:41,230 --> 01:16:43,790
- Right.
-Joe Guy.
1345
01:16:43,866 --> 01:16:47,097
- Don't act like you don't know me.
- No, man.
1346
01:16:47,169 --> 01:16:51,162
And you know what ? If you don't like
the tape, keep it to yourself.
1347
01:16:51,240 --> 01:16:53,674
- Right, right.
- It's gonna be all right.
1348
01:16:59,314 --> 01:17:02,681
Oh, um, excuse me.
I'm looking for Whitney Daniels.
1349
01:17:02,751 --> 01:17:06,084
Uh, Whitney Daniels ?
Yeah, just go straight.
1350
01:17:06,155 --> 01:17:08,851
Make a right
and go down the stairs.
1351
01:17:08,924 --> 01:17:10,949
When you get by the dressing rooms,
he should be there.
1352
01:17:11,026 --> 01:17:12,857
Thanks.
1353
01:17:12,928 --> 01:17:17,092
Oh, I'm sorry, but do you think
they'll let me back there ?
1354
01:17:17,166 --> 01:17:19,964
Yeah, sure.
The show's been over for about an hour.
1355
01:17:20,035 --> 01:17:24,028
- Do I know you ?
- No.
1356
01:17:24,106 --> 01:17:26,370
No, no, seriously.
I'm not joking.
1357
01:17:26,441 --> 01:17:30,172
I just feel like
I've met you before.
1358
01:17:30,245 --> 01:17:33,009
Joe.
1359
01:17:33,081 --> 01:17:35,777
-Joe Guy.
- Sontee Jenkins.
1360
01:17:35,851 --> 01:17:37,978
Sontee.
1361
01:17:38,053 --> 01:17:40,317
Thanks.
1362
01:17:43,125 --> 01:17:45,821
- Oh.
1363
01:17:45,894 --> 01:17:50,490
Last call at the Apollo. We better
get out of here before they lock us in.
1364
01:17:50,566 --> 01:17:54,058
Give me your hand.
I know my way around here.
1365
01:17:54,136 --> 01:17:57,367
Don't be scared.
Everything's all right.
1366
01:17:57,439 --> 01:18:00,101
What did you just say ?
1367
01:18:00,175 --> 01:18:03,872
Everything's all right. Like the song.
Everything is all right
1368
01:18:03,946 --> 01:18:06,779
It's just that
when you said that, it--
1369
01:18:06,848 --> 01:18:10,477
- You're a comedian ?
- Do I sing that bad ?
1370
01:18:10,552 --> 01:18:15,046
No. You were on tonight.
How'd you do ?
1371
01:18:15,123 --> 01:18:19,287
They didn't boo.
You know, they got this after party--
1372
01:18:19,361 --> 01:18:22,387
- Sorry. I didn't mean to hold you up.
- No, no, no, no, no.
1373
01:18:22,464 --> 01:18:26,798
I don't feel like going to the party.
You wanna get something to eat ?
1374
01:18:26,868 --> 01:18:29,860
Are you asking me out ?
1375
01:18:29,938 --> 01:18:33,032
No, I just want to feed you.
1376
01:18:33,108 --> 01:18:36,407
Yeah. I'm starved.
1377
01:18:39,881 --> 01:18:41,849
- Nice shoes.
- Thankyou.
1378
01:18:41,917 --> 01:18:44,147
So what do you do ?
1379
01:18:44,219 --> 01:18:47,211
- I'm into medicine.
- What are you, a drug dealer ?
1380
01:18:47,289 --> 01:18:52,056
Watch it. No. Actually,
I own Brooklyn Community Hospital.
1381
01:18:52,127 --> 01:18:55,790
You own a hospital ?
I know Brooklyn Community.
1382
01:18:55,864 --> 01:18:59,698
My uncle went there for a new liver, and
they sent his ass to the supermarket.
1383
01:18:59,768 --> 01:19:02,669
Hello, Sontee.
How're you doing, sir ?
1384
01:19:02,738 --> 01:19:04,899
- This your ride ?
- Yeah.
1385
01:19:04,973 --> 01:19:08,636
Well, ifyou want to keep it,
you better get it out of here.
1386
01:19:08,710 --> 01:19:10,940
- This is nice !
- Cisco.
1387
01:19:11,013 --> 01:19:13,413
What kind of mileage
you get on this ?
1388
01:19:13,482 --> 01:19:15,712
Oh, pretty good.
1389
01:19:21,423 --> 01:19:24,051
Cocktails, Miss Jenkins ?
1390
01:19:24,126 --> 01:19:26,890
- So are you the maid ?
- The maid ?
1391
01:19:26,962 --> 01:19:31,399
-Do I look like the maid ? I'm the paid.
-This is my friend Wanda.
1392
01:19:31,466 --> 01:19:35,994
And look at you. Let you out of
the car, and you're pickin' up strays.
1393
01:19:36,071 --> 01:19:39,438
- Did you know your coat's bleeding ?
- Mind your business.
1394
01:19:39,508 --> 01:19:44,207
Hey, girls, did you know
That pretty boys they need no more
1395
01:19:44,279 --> 01:19:46,645
You better find you a love
you can trust
1396
01:19:46,715 --> 01:19:48,706
And expect to like his mother
1397
01:19:48,784 --> 01:19:53,278
Hey, fellas, you better find
A girl who loves you more
1398
01:19:58,894 --> 01:20:01,055
- You okay, Sontee ?
- I'm okay. You okay ?
1399
01:20:01,129 --> 01:20:02,756
- I'm okay.
- Cisco, you okay ?
1400
01:20:02,831 --> 01:20:06,289
- I'm okay. Wanda, you okay ?
- Hell, no ! I spilled my drink.
1401
01:20:06,368 --> 01:20:09,303
You know what ?
You drink. I'm gonna drive.
1402
01:20:12,708 --> 01:20:15,040
Didn't I tell you
to keep an eye on him ?
1403
01:20:15,110 --> 01:20:18,944
I was tying my shoe, and when I looked
up-- It won't happen again, sir.
1404
01:20:20,182 --> 01:20:22,616
Cisco, you got any music ?
1405
01:20:22,684 --> 01:20:25,118
Here you go.
1406
01:20:26,655 --> 01:20:29,954
With my mind on my money
And my money on my mind
1407
01:20:30,025 --> 01:20:33,517
Rollin' down the street
smokin' lndo
1408
01:20:33,595 --> 01:20:36,962
- Sippin' on gin and juice
- Laid back
1409
01:20:37,032 --> 01:20:39,916
With my mind on my money
and my money on my mind
1410
01:20:40,050 --> 01:20:43,577
Rollin' down the street
smokin' lndo
1411
01:20:43,653 --> 01:20:47,248
- Sippin' on gin and juice
- Laidback
1412
01:20:47,324 --> 01:20:50,020
With my mind on my money
And my money on my mind
1413
01:20:50,093 --> 01:20:52,027
I got me some Seagram's gin
1414
01:20:52,095 --> 01:20:54,188
Everybody got they cups
but they ain't chipped in
1415
01:20:54,264 --> 01:20:56,892
Now, this type of shit
Happens all the time
1416
01:20:56,967 --> 01:20:59,333
You gotta get yours
But, fool, I gotta get mine
1417
01:20:59,402 --> 01:21:02,269
Everything is fine when you
listenin' to the D-O-G
1418
01:21:02,339 --> 01:21:05,308
I got the cultivatin' music
that be captivatin' he
1419
01:21:08,411 --> 01:21:11,278
You think you're slick in every way
1420
01:21:11,348 --> 01:21:14,442
Changing up the codes
On your phone everyday
1421
01:21:14,518 --> 01:21:19,421
Is there something that you're
trying to hide from me
1422
01:21:19,489 --> 01:21:24,483
I never gave you reason to run and
Take your calls in the other room
1423
01:21:24,561 --> 01:21:28,998
Am I the only one
Or is somebody else getting at you
1424
01:21:29,065 --> 01:21:32,626
Is it my imagination
1425
01:21:32,702 --> 01:21:36,194
Things ain't always
what they seem
1426
01:21:36,273 --> 01:21:38,366
'Cause I don't wanna be
1427
01:21:38,441 --> 01:21:40,875
Just another name
In your little black book
1428
01:21:40,944 --> 01:21:44,038
Just another face in the crowd
And it's got me shook
1429
01:21:44,114 --> 01:21:46,378
I gotta mean
a little more to you
1430
01:21:46,449 --> 01:21:49,316
Than a space in your list
Of your things to do
1431
01:21:49,386 --> 01:21:51,411
Another G-Shock done
In your Benz
1432
01:21:51,488 --> 01:21:54,355
Another dime piece
That you can show all your friends
1433
01:21:54,424 --> 01:21:56,756
You can call me crazy
say I'm insecure
1434
01:21:56,826 --> 01:22:00,853
But I don't wanna be
1435
01:22:00,931 --> 01:22:04,025
Oooh, oh, ohh
1436
01:22:04,100 --> 01:22:06,295
Ohhh
1437
01:22:06,369 --> 01:22:08,303
Mm, mm
1438
01:22:09,606 --> 01:22:12,632
Strange how you claim
to tell the truth
1439
01:22:12,709 --> 01:22:15,678
When the passenger's seat
In your car's been moved
1440
01:22:15,745 --> 01:22:20,512
And you swore that there was
no one else but you, you
1441
01:22:20,584 --> 01:22:23,317
And something else
you can't explain
1442
01:22:23,451 --> 01:22:25,749
Why'd you call me
By somebody else's name
1443
01:22:25,820 --> 01:22:28,380
You say it's history
Your playing days are through
1444
01:22:28,456 --> 01:22:30,390
Or so you say
1445
01:22:30,458 --> 01:22:33,916
Is it my imagination
1446
01:22:33,995 --> 01:22:37,556
Things ain't always
what they seem
1447
01:22:37,632 --> 01:22:39,623
'Cause I don't wanna be
1448
01:22:39,700 --> 01:22:42,168
Just another name
In your little black book
1449
01:22:42,236 --> 01:22:45,296
Just another face in the crowd
And it's got me shook
1450
01:22:45,373 --> 01:22:47,671
'Cause I gotta mean
a little more to you
1451
01:22:47,742 --> 01:22:50,142
Than a space in your list
Of your things to do
1452
01:22:50,211 --> 01:22:52,509
Another G-Shock done
In your Benz
1453
01:22:52,580 --> 01:22:55,515
Another dime piece
That you can show all your friends
1454
01:22:55,583 --> 01:22:58,017
You can call me crazy
say I'm insecure
1455
01:23:03,224 --> 01:23:08,252
Tell me, are you lying
Or is it my suspicious mind
1456
01:23:08,329 --> 01:23:10,263
I gotta know the truth
1457
01:23:10,331 --> 01:23:13,960
If I am just another girl
1458
01:23:14,035 --> 01:23:15,969
You're treatin' wrong
1459
01:23:16,037 --> 01:23:18,471
Another one
You string along
1460
01:23:18,539 --> 01:23:21,064
Is it you and me
Is it two or three
1461
01:23:21,142 --> 01:23:23,337
'Cause I don't wanna be
1462
01:23:23,411 --> 01:23:25,538
Just another name
In your little black book
1463
01:23:25,613 --> 01:23:28,776
Just another face in the crowd
And it's got me shook
1464
01:23:28,849 --> 01:23:31,010
I gotta mean
a little more to you
1465
01:23:31,085 --> 01:23:33,451
Than a space in your list
Of your things to do
1466
01:23:33,521 --> 01:23:35,955
Another G-Shock done
In your Benz
1467
01:23:36,023 --> 01:23:38,958
Another dime piece
That you can show all your friends
1468
01:23:39,026 --> 01:23:41,460
You can call me crazy
say I'm insecure
1469
01:23:41,529 --> 01:23:44,327
But I don't wanna be
just another girl
1470
01:23:44,398 --> 01:23:46,366
In your little black book
1471
01:23:46,434 --> 01:23:49,130
Just another face in the crowd
And it's got me shook
1472
01:23:49,203 --> 01:23:51,501
I gotta mean
a little more to you
1473
01:23:51,572 --> 01:23:54,040
Than a space in your list
Of your things to do
1474
01:23:54,108 --> 01:23:56,406
Another G-Shock done
In your Benz
1475
01:23:56,477 --> 01:23:59,446
Another dime piece
That you can show all your friends
1476
01:23:59,513 --> 01:24:01,913
You can call me crazy
say I'm insecure
1477
01:24:01,983 --> 01:24:06,215
But I don't wanna be
just another girl
1478
01:24:06,287 --> 01:24:09,620
Just another face in the crowd
And it's got me shook
1479
01:24:09,690 --> 01:24:12,284
I gotta mean
a little more to you
1480
01:24:12,360 --> 01:24:14,828
Than a space in your list
Of your things to do
1481
01:24:14,895 --> 01:24:16,988
Another G-Shock done
In your Benz
1482
01:24:17,064 --> 01:24:19,828
Another dime piece
That you can show all your friends
1483
01:24:19,900 --> 01:24:22,334
You can call me crazy
say I'm insecure
1484
01:24:22,403 --> 01:24:26,271
But I don't wanna be
just another girl
1485
01:24:29,410 --> 01:24:32,675
What if I was white
Skin the same color as Eminem
1486
01:24:32,747 --> 01:24:35,045
With blond hair and blue eyes
The whole shebang
1487
01:24:35,116 --> 01:24:37,949
I know one thing, police
wouldn't always be watchin' me
1488
01:24:38,019 --> 01:24:41,079
Pullin' me over for nothing
Constantly jockin' me
1489
01:24:41,155 --> 01:24:43,419
Yellow Cabsin the city
1490
01:24:43,491 --> 01:24:46,654
I wouldn't need collateral
to buy property if I was white
1491
01:24:46,727 --> 01:24:48,661
Wouldn't matter
If I was rich or poor
1492
01:24:48,729 --> 01:24:52,290
Security wouldn't follow me around the
store like I'm gonna steal somethin'
1493
01:24:52,366 --> 01:24:53,799
Because I'm black, I rob
1494
01:24:53,868 --> 01:24:56,393
And automatically assume
I ain't got no job
1495
01:24:56,470 --> 01:24:58,904
On my own land
Feel like an immigrant
1496
01:24:58,973 --> 01:25:01,737
If I was white, I wouldn't have
thought O.J. was innocent
1497
01:25:01,809 --> 01:25:05,074
If I was white, What if he was white
What if he was white
1498
01:25:05,146 --> 01:25:07,808
- Yo, think about that for a minute
- What if he was white
1499
01:25:07,882 --> 01:25:09,816
- Wow
- What if he was white
1500
01:25:09,884 --> 01:25:13,650
- What if he was white, white, white
- What if he was white
1501
01:25:13,721 --> 01:25:16,417
- What if he was white
- What if he was black
1502
01:25:16,490 --> 01:25:18,788
What if he was white
1503
01:25:18,859 --> 01:25:23,193
- What if he were white
- What if he was white, white, white
1504
01:25:23,264 --> 01:25:25,755
If I was white, it'd be
a different world for me
1505
01:25:25,833 --> 01:25:28,324
If I was white, hmm
What shade would I be
1506
01:25:28,402 --> 01:25:31,166
Would I be redneck or skinhead
preppy or high-class
1507
01:25:31,238 --> 01:25:34,332
You'd probably live in a trailer park
And be white trash
1508
01:25:34,408 --> 01:25:36,433
In any case, there'd be
an illside, right
1509
01:25:36,510 --> 01:25:39,172
But there's a good and a bad
side of bein' white
1510
01:25:41,849 --> 01:25:44,409
What's up, my brother, De La Soul Pete
I have two left feet
1511
01:25:44,485 --> 01:25:47,545
Even if I was white
I'd still have a better chance
1512
01:25:47,621 --> 01:25:50,215
Is it a myth or would I
really have a little
1513
01:25:50,291 --> 01:25:52,725
If I was white
I'd probably listen to hard rock
1514
01:25:52,793 --> 01:25:55,353
And cover my ears
Whenever I heard hip-hop
1515
01:25:55,429 --> 01:25:58,796
What if he was white
What if he was white
1516
01:25:58,866 --> 01:26:01,630
- What if he was white
- What if he was white
1517
01:26:01,702 --> 01:26:05,468
What if he was white
What if he was white, white, white
1518
01:26:05,539 --> 01:26:09,441
- What if he was white
- What if he was white
1519
01:26:09,510 --> 01:26:11,603
What if he was white
1520
01:26:11,679 --> 01:26:13,613
Mm, what if he was white
1521
01:26:13,681 --> 01:26:16,275
- What if he were white, white, white
- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
1522
01:26:16,350 --> 01:26:19,319
If I was white, I probably
wouldn't even think the same
1523
01:26:19,386 --> 01:26:22,082
I'd watch tennis and golf
And bet on hockey games
1524
01:26:22,156 --> 01:26:24,488
Wear suits and ties
And go to work everyday
1525
01:26:24,558 --> 01:26:27,152
If I was white I couldn't live
Around my way
1526
01:26:27,228 --> 01:26:30,197
And there probably wouldn't
Never even be an Amish
1527
01:26:32,766 --> 01:26:35,530
Smokin' on a Marlboro
Instead of a Newport
1528
01:26:35,603 --> 01:26:38,436
I'd live in Long Island
Instead of New York
1529
01:26:38,506 --> 01:26:40,701
If I was white
I probably couldn't dunk
1530
01:26:40,774 --> 01:26:43,208
'Cause everybody know
white men can't jump
1531
01:26:43,277 --> 01:26:46,212
And I probably wouldn't be able
To go to the Tree Spot
1532
01:26:46,280 --> 01:26:48,373
'Cause all them dreads
would think I'm a cop
1533
01:26:48,449 --> 01:26:50,883
If he was white
What if he was white
1534
01:26:50,951 --> 01:26:54,443
What if he was white
What if he was white
1535
01:26:54,522 --> 01:26:56,456
- Yo, you can't even say that
- What if he was white
1536
01:26:56,524 --> 01:26:58,958
What if he was white
What if he was white
1537
01:26:59,026 --> 01:27:02,826
What if he was white, white, white
white, white, white, white, white
1538
01:27:02,897 --> 01:27:05,263
Yo, what if I was white
124561
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