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1
00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:09,476
Hey!
2
00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:11,711
Hey, Victor.
What are you doing?
3
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:14,047
What's it look like I'm doing?
I'm showering.
4
00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:16,416
Yes, I can see that.
5
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,184
But I really don't think
you should be taking advantage
6
00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:19,519
of Calvin's property like this.
7
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,121
It's... it's not right.
8
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,589
Well,
I'm on Calvin's property,
9
00:00:22,655 --> 00:00:24,090
but I'm using your water.
10
00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:25,392
Does that make you feel
any better?
11
00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:28,128
No, it does not make
me feel any better.
12
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,596
Victor.
13
00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:31,564
I know you're not taking
a shower in my yard.
14
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:33,266
He sure is,
but you know what,
15
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,568
if it makes you feel any better,
he's using my water.
16
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:39,506
It would make me feel better
if he was wearing pants.
17
00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:43,710
Let me get my paper,
man.
18
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,345
Oh, hey, hey, man.
That's my towel.
19
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:47,480
And that's my loofah,
but you can keep that.
20
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,418
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
21
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:52,685
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
22
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,258
Oh, what?
23
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,258
Yeah, and then he had the nerve
24
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:00,093
to ask me for a towel.
25
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:05,198
Man, ever since Crackhead
Victor lost his house,
26
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:07,133
he has taken his antics
to a whole new level.
27
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,435
Yeah.
28
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:09,669
Yeah, if only there was a...
29
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,771
a strong Black man
who could talk to him.
30
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:13,339
You know,
someone in the neighborhood
31
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,808
who everyone looks up to,
32
00:01:14,874 --> 00:01:17,610
and who just loves getting
in other people's business.
33
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:18,812
(Malcolm clears throat)
34
00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:23,216
Nope, nope,
not gonna happen.
35
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:26,186
Every time I try to help him,
I always get burned.
36
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,420
Last time,
37
00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:29,255
he stole the seats
out my truck.
38
00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:31,124
Had to drive to work
in a lawn chair.
39
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:32,826
Come on, Dave.
We out of here.
40
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:36,596
(murmuring)
41
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,298
(entry bells jingle)
42
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:40,834
Hey, guys.
43
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:43,236
ALL:
Hey, Keisha!
44
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,139
Hey, Uncle Que.
45
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:49,576
Yo, I heard Keisha just broke
up with Big Time Slim.
46
00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:51,778
Okay, I have always had
a crush on her.
47
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,279
And now that we're
a little bit older,
48
00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:54,647
it's finally time
for me to shoot my shot.
49
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,749
(laughing)
50
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:01,554
Listen, save your marshmallow
bullets, Cupid.
51
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:04,357
TREY: Right.
52
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:04,357
You're not exactly
Keisha's type, bro.
53
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,693
Yeah, man, she likes rappers.
You know, thugs.
54
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:09,195
Dudes with tattoos
and swag.
55
00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:10,930
You know, basically
everything opposite of you.
56
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,432
Yeah.
57
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:13,833
Trust me,
I'll get my chance.
58
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,802
And when I do,
I'll be ready.
59
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,337
(chuckles):
Okay.
60
00:02:17,403 --> 00:02:18,471
Bye, Uncle Que.
61
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:23,510
Thanks, Marty.
62
00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:25,645
(giggling)
63
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,380
(clears throat)
Top of the morning to ya!
64
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:28,515
Oh.
65
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,588
(laughter)
66
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:42,228
Well, this has gone too far.
67
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:43,830
So, Gemma, what's got
your husband's tight khakis
68
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,398
in a bunch?
69
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:49,235
We just found Victor
napping in our car.
70
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:50,503
What?
71
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:51,738
Yeah, he says
the pine smell helps
72
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:53,473
with his allergies.
73
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:55,808
Aw... Calvin, honey.
74
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:57,877
I think it's time for you
to talk to Victor again.
75
00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,445
No, babe.
76
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,748
I've been down that road
with him too many times.
77
00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:03,449
It's a dead end.
78
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,352
Calvin,
you watched Victor grow up.
79
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:07,954
He was like a nephew to you.
80
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,390
Wow, I didn't know you
and Victor were that close.
81
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:11,624
Oh, are you kidding me?
82
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,926
Calvin loved Victor so much,
83
00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:14,827
that when Victor wanted
to become a barber,
84
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:17,430
Calvin let him practice
on his hair.
85
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,632
And it was that love
that saved his behind
86
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,935
when he pressed and curled
my hair like Al Sharpton.
87
00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,640
Wait, so you guys knew Victor
before he started using?
88
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,309
Yeah.
89
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,978
He got hooked after he was
deployed to Afghanistan.
90
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,980
Oh, what a shame.
91
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,582
He risked his life
for our country,
92
00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:37,383
and then he ended up
on the streets.
93
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:40,253
You know, the VA has a rehab
program to help veterans.
94
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,654
I could probably get him
some help.
95
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,690
Yeah, you know what,
look, I can handle Victor.
96
00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:45,692
Calvin, you've
done enough.
97
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:49,228
I once helped
my college roommate kick NoDoz.
98
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,633
Calvin, please go save my man.
99
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:57,470
Okay, Dave.
100
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,806
Now listen,
in order to help Victor,
101
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,741
first we got to catch him.
102
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,741
Mm-hmm.
103
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,576
And when he's using,
he gets super skittish
104
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,545
when he feels threatened,
so...
105
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:08,815
we got to treat him
like a wild bear in a mosh pit.
106
00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:10,583
Calvin, I got this.
107
00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:13,519
People don't call me
Speedy Johnson for nothing.
108
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,588
Nobody calls you Speedy Johnson.
109
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:19,258
Everybody calls me
Speedy Johnson.
110
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:19,258
Oh, my...
111
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,894
Okay, here comes Victor.
112
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:24,063
Remember what I said.
Don't move.
113
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,064
Hey, Victor.
114
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:26,733
Uh...
115
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:28,468
can I talk to you
for a second?
116
00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:34,574
Go! Go, go, Speedy!
117
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,280
Victor, get back here!
118
00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:47,987
No, Victor, no.
119
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:49,822
Victor!
120
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:03,770
Yeah, I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
121
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:05,605
I got him.
122
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:08,307
(Dave groans)
123
00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:14,347
Nice haircut, man.
124
00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:14,347
Thanks.
125
00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:22,755
What just happened?
126
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,991
Crack, Dave. Crack happened.
127
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,325
All right,
come on.
128
00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,629
Mmm, you know what
this cupcake needs?
129
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:32,365
A paying customer?
130
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,634
Sorry.
131
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,135
I'm just always hungry
all the time.
132
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,804
I'm eating for two.
133
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:40,373
Yeah, well, right now
you're eating for free.
134
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,478
Oh, I'm so happy
you're both here.
135
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:46,779
I'm looking for
some fashion advice
136
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,014
from some cool, hip women.
137
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,615
Oh, thank you, baby.
138
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,615
OH, that's so sweet.
139
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:50,817
Yeah,
but since I couldn't find any,
140
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:51,818
I thought I'd come
to you two.
141
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:54,554
Talk fast, boy.
142
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:56,489
Okay, okay. Uh...
143
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:59,459
It's time for me to go
in a new direction,
144
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,526
clothes-wise.
145
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,528
I love any kind of makeover.
146
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,130
Makeup, clothes, bathrooms.
147
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,732
I live for a reveal.
148
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,433
Okay, well,
149
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,935
are you up-to-date on
the latest street fashion?
150
00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:11,804
I'm gonna have to do
some light Instagram stalking,
151
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,974
but I am sure
I can figure it out.
152
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,974
Okay.
153
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,843
Well, since I've got
these cupcake orders to fill,
154
00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:18,678
I'm gonna leave my baby
in your hands.
155
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:19,679
(gasps)
156
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,914
Oh, hell nah!
157
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,621
First, you eat up
all my cupcakes,
158
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:31,824
and then you turn my son
into one of the Migos.
159
00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:34,694
BOTH:
Nailed it!
160
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:35,962
(chuckles)
161
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:37,997
(whooping)
162
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,466
(laughs)
163
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:43,102
Gemma got your boy nice.
No cap, Tina.
164
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:48,074
You call me Tina again,
I'm-a cap that ass.
165
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,475
I'm sorry, Mama.
166
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,475
Yeah.
167
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:54,647
Since we can't outrun him,
we got to outthink him.
168
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,516
All right?
Give me your sunglasses,
169
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:57,850
your phone and your wallet.
170
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:00,119
(quietly):
Okay, come on.
171
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:11,898
All right.
172
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:12,965
There.
173
00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:15,001
The crackhead trap is set.
174
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,070
Okay, here he comes,
here he comes.
175
00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:19,205
Hide, hide.
176
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:34,520
Gotcha.
177
00:07:35,721 --> 00:07:37,156
All right,
let me out of here, man.
178
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,524
All right,
look, Victor,
179
00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:39,892
all we want to do
is talk, man.
180
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:42,762
Okay, come on, Victor.
181
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,030
I can always get another lamp.
182
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,168
No, no, no! No!
183
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,903
Not my Ed Sheeran
autographed ukulele.
184
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,573
Victor, listen to me, man.
185
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:54,640
You better get off that table.
186
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:55,608
You can't tell me what to do!
187
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:56,676
I'm a grown man!
188
00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,177
What's going on?
189
00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,179
Why is Victor on my table?
190
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:03,049
Boy, if you don't get down...
191
00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:06,152
I'm gonna give you everything
your butt signed up for.
192
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,887
Yes, ma'am.
193
00:08:09,755 --> 00:08:12,658
I'm talking about everything
your butt signed up for.
194
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,032
Man, when are they
gonna get here?
195
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:21,868
I'm ready to get
this intervention on.
196
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:24,837
Trey, why are you so excited
about Victor's intervention?
197
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,139
Because for the first time,
I'm on the other side, player.
198
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:28,908
(chuckling):
Oh, yerp.
199
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:30,943
What up, yo?
200
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,112
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Sorry, man.
201
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,680
The barbershop is closed.
202
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:37,183
Malcolm, it's me, Marty.
203
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,719
I know it's you, Marty.
204
00:08:39,785 --> 00:08:41,053
I'm pretending I don't know you.
205
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,221
Man, go home and change!
206
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:44,657
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Don't hate, man.
207
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:48,127
I have the look of the Migos
with the attitude of Ice Cube.
208
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,097
You look like a wide receiver
on draft day.
209
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:53,799
What is this all about, Marty?
210
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,234
Hey, man, just...
211
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,870
(chuckles) Never mind.
212
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,139
Marty?
213
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:03,709
(scoffs)
Is that you?
214
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:05,044
Yeah, fo sho, baby.
215
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,712
(chuckles) Fo sho.
216
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:08,648
But the streets call me Big Mar.
217
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:09,982
(chuckles)
218
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,084
This is a way different look
219
00:09:12,151 --> 00:09:13,886
than what you were sporting
earlier.
220
00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,188
Uh, yeah,
that-that's because
221
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:17,757
you caught me
in my court outfit.
222
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:19,091
You see...
223
00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:20,092
(Jamaican accent):
a bad man got caught
224
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:22,061
for doing bad men things.
225
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,796
(laughing)
226
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:26,832
It's like watching Al Roker
try to Crip Walk.
227
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,734
Yeah, you need to get
with a real G like me,
228
00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:30,636
because I move in silence.
229
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:33,639
Like the "G"
in "lasagna."
230
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:37,310
So, can a bad man
walk a girl home?
231
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:39,845
(chuckles):
Fo sho.
232
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,949
Like the song says,
"Today was a good day."
233
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:45,051
♪ ♪
234
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,055
Where is it?
235
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:50,990
Well, Victor, I lied to you.
236
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:53,125
There is no cotton candy.
237
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:54,193
I knew it.
238
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,962
Okay, come on, man.
239
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:58,631
Look, I had to get you
to your intervention somehow.
240
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,834
Victor, we know what
you've been through.
241
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:05,972
This is a chance for you to
tell all of us how you feel.
242
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:08,808
You don't care how I feel.
243
00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:10,943
When y'all look at me,
all you see is Crackhead Victor.
244
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,945
You know what,
that's it, guys.
245
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:15,881
First, we got to stop
calling him Crackhead Victor.
246
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,917
All right?
Addiction is an illness.
247
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:19,685
It's not who he is.
248
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,955
Look, Vic.
249
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,024
I know you feel like
no one understands you.
250
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:28,427
That's exactly how I felt
when I came home from Iraq.
251
00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:30,863
Hold up,
you're a veteran, too?
252
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,198
Yeah.
253
00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:34,266
So I know firsthand
how hard it can be
254
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:35,901
to adjust to civilian life.
255
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,037
Look, PTSD, it affects
all of us differently,
256
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:40,940
but you got to know,
you're not alone.
257
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,275
Nobody asked anyone
to worry about me.
258
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:46,345
Yet here we all are.
259
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:49,749
Dave, tell him the plan.
260
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,717
All right, well,
look, it wasn't easy.
261
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:54,420
I made a ton of calls,
and all the rehab beds
262
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,789
were taken in the neighboring
VA hospitals.
263
00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:59,692
But I was able
to find you a bed
264
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:01,861
an hour away
in Loma Linda,
265
00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:04,263
if... if you're ready.
266
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:08,200
Look, man, we've all been
working really hard
267
00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:10,136
to get you back
to the old Victor.
268
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:14,840
Newsflash, Calvin.
269
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:17,009
The old Victor's gone.
270
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,078
I left him
back in Afghanistan.
271
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:22,081
I came back to nothing
but pain.
272
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,749
My parents died.
273
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,985
I lost my friends.
274
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:28,421
I lost myself.
275
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,791
The only thing that can help me
with that pain:
276
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,225
drugs.
277
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,996
Hey, Victor, look,
all my pops is trying to say...
278
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,864
I know what he's trying to say.
279
00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:41,100
But I ain't trying to hear it
right now.
280
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,169
Victor, I swear, if you
walk out that door,
281
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:44,470
I'm done with you.
282
00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:50,476
Victor.
283
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,311
Come on.
284
00:11:59,251 --> 00:12:01,287
(gunfire on TV)
285
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,524
Ooh...
286
00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:07,460
That movie went hard, right?
287
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:09,462
(chuckles forcefully)
Yeah. Yeah.
288
00:12:09,528 --> 00:12:11,130
You know, I give it
two guns up.
289
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:13,165
Pow, pow. (laughs)
290
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:17,470
You know,
when we were younger,
291
00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:19,438
I always thought you were cute.
292
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:22,842
Just a little too nice and soft,
if you know what I mean.
293
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,844
Oh, yeah. I hear you.
I hear you.
294
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:28,247
But, you know, maybe
sometimes being nice and soft
295
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,982
isn't so bad.
296
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:31,517
Maybe.
297
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,853
But I like roughnecks
like you.
298
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,421
(chuckles):
Oh... Yeah, yeah.
299
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,756
(giggling):
That tickles.
300
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:41,227
Tell me, Big Mar.
301
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:44,296
What's the baddest thing
you've ever done?
302
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:46,465
Oh, uh...
303
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:48,534
(chuckles, scoffs)
304
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,035
Hmm...
305
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,104
I mean...
306
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:54,373
One time,
307
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,243
I took spare change and threw it
in a sacred well.
308
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,013
Oh. "Spare Change" is
a rapper's name, right?
309
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,982
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
310
00:13:03,048 --> 00:13:05,117
Uh, yeah, yeah, let me
straighten it out for you, baby.
311
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:07,853
Okay. So, Lil Spare Change was
a wannabe rapper.
312
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:11,056
I took him and DJ Dollar Bill
and threw them in that well.
313
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,526
(chuckles) You feel me?
314
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:16,362
I feel you, Big Mar.
315
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:16,362
Ooh.
316
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:18,531
I feel you.
317
00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:20,266
(chuckles)
318
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:21,467
Errbody do, baby.
319
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:22,468
(chuckles)
320
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,336
Errbody.
321
00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:29,608
Hey, hey,
what you ladies up to?
322
00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:33,145
Oh, just looking through old
photos of the neighborhood.
323
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:36,615
You know, people,
places, Victor.
324
00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:38,417
Oh, no.
325
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,419
Look, I've done
everything I can.
326
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,888
Even Dave tried.
You-you were there.
327
00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:44,924
He almost lost his baby guitar.
328
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,394
I hear what you're saying,
but, aw...
329
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:51,530
look at this old picture
of Victor and Calvin.
330
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:54,533
Aw, Victor looks
so good there.
331
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:54,533
(laughs)
332
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,935
Ah.
333
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,935
Aw.
334
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,303
You remember that day?
335
00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:58,871
(scoffs)
336
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:01,006
Yeah. Of course.
337
00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:02,408
This was Victor's senior prom.
338
00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:04,176
He didn't have money
for a limo,
339
00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:08,347
so I rented a tux and
chauffeured him and his date.
340
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,082
That's so sweet of you.
341
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:12,318
Yeah. After that,
Victor signed up for the Army.
342
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:14,620
You were so proud of him.
343
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,156
Yeah.
344
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,357
I was.
345
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,092
(car alarm blaring)
346
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:21,627
Ooh,
let me get my bat.
347
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,195
Oh, it's just Victor.
348
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:26,232
Oh, well, shouldn't
you turn your alarm off?
349
00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:27,566
No, he's got the code.
350
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:29,335
He'll leave once
his sinuses clear up.
351
00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:31,971
(car alarm stops)
352
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,505
Okay, I, um...
353
00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:35,174
I need you to do me
a favor, baby.
354
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:36,408
I need you to take these
to Victor.
355
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:38,344
Oh, no. Come on, Tina.
356
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,045
No, no.
357
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:41,614
I've done all I could do
for this guy.
358
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,515
I'm not going back out there.
Forget about it.
359
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:45,217
Come on, baby. If you do it,
360
00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:47,486
I'll act like it's your birthday
tonight.
361
00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:54,660
O-Okay.
362
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,496
But I still get
my real birthday, too, right?
363
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,665
Oh, most definitely.
364
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,502
Victor.
365
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,205
Come on, man. Open up.
366
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,107
(sniffs)
Mmm.
367
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:10,409
Pine. That does smell nice.
368
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:14,346
Look, Tina wanted me
to give you this.
369
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,681
I'm out.
370
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,017
Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait.
371
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,685
What's-what's this?
372
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,987
I don't know.
Tina must've put it in your bag.
373
00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,590
Yeah, I remember this.
374
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,091
My dad's lawn mower
had broken down,
375
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:27,426
and instead of taking it
to the repair shop,
376
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:28,694
you taught me how to fix it.
377
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:32,364
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
378
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,566
And you used that lawn mower
to start cutting grass
379
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:36,468
in the neighborhood
and make yourself some money.
380
00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:38,437
Bought your first
pair of Jordans.
381
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,039
Sure did.
382
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,007
Only for them to be stolen
by a crackhead.
383
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,043
The irony.
384
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,043
Hmm.
385
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:46,645
Yeah.
386
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:52,518
I didn't ask to be this way,
Calvin.
387
00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:55,087
Not everyone wins at life.
388
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:57,523
Look, Victor.
389
00:15:57,589 --> 00:16:00,459
Everybody has
a story to tell, man.
390
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:03,162
And luckily for me,
I've been a part of yours.
391
00:16:03,228 --> 00:16:05,631
I remember when you were
that scrawny little kid
392
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,566
who just moved
into this neighborhood.
393
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:10,436
I remember taking you
to get ice cream
394
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:13,105
when you got straight A's
in middle school.
395
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,374
Or hiding you from your mama
when you threw that boomerang
396
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,443
through her picture window.
397
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,443
(laughs)
398
00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:20,012
Tore my butt up twice
when she found me, too.
399
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,147
(both chuckle)
400
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:26,151
I miss you, Mama.
401
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:31,523
Look, man.
402
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:34,393
I don't care about
all the stuff you've done.
403
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:36,495
All right, I know you.
404
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:38,530
The real you.
405
00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:40,132
And, uh...
406
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:43,369
Well, I love you too much
407
00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:45,804
for this to be
how your story ends.
408
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:47,606
But...
409
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,041
that's not up to me.
410
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:53,045
It's your story.
411
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,485
Tonight was on point,
Big Mar.
412
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:01,053
Oh, yeah, you know,
413
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,421
the best part of the night
for me was...
414
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,691
That part.
415
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,294
Mmm, cherry.
416
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,294
(chuckles)
417
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,163
Good night, Big Mar.
418
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:14,099
Uh, yeah, good, uh,
good night, Kiki.
419
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:17,770
(exhales sharply)
420
00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:20,072
(whooping)
421
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,711
(chuckling)
422
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,547
So, how was your date,
Nice Cube?
423
00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:32,384
Man, it was exhausting.
424
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:36,455
I had no idea
it was so hard being so hard.
425
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,526
All right,
check this, little bro.
426
00:17:40,592 --> 00:17:42,394
I know that Keisha has been
427
00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:44,763
your most wanted
since we were kids...
428
00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:44,763
Yeah.
429
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,432
But, Marty,
you don't want a woman
430
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:47,800
who doesn't dig you for you.
431
00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:50,536
(groans) You're right.
432
00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:53,539
And-and I-I plan on
coming clean to Keisha,
433
00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:55,741
once we're married and have
our twins, Luke and Leia.
434
00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:59,211
Look, man,
you are my little brother,
435
00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,613
and I don't just love you,
I like you.
436
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,383
And I would hope that
any woman you end up with
437
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:06,685
would love you
and like you, too.
438
00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:09,388
(sighs) All right, man.
439
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:11,190
(grunts)
440
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:12,558
God,
441
00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:15,561
if Keisha is for me,
give me a sign.
442
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:17,129
(knocking)
443
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,333
(chuckles)
444
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,668
The Lord has spoken.
445
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:26,338
Hey, I just got invited
to a release party,
446
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:28,874
and there's only one bad boy
I want by my side.
447
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,376
Oh, hell yeah, girl,
I love album release parties.
448
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,479
(chuckles)
449
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,479
You're so funny.
450
00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:35,147
It's not an album release party.
451
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:36,482
This is a prison release party.
452
00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:37,783
What?
453
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,485
Lil Murder Junior just got out.
454
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:41,620
But his name is
Lil Murder Junior!
455
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,422
Technicality.
456
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:45,724
It's okay if I go freshen up?
457
00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:48,293
What?
458
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,395
(singsongy):
Technicality.
459
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,336
Morning, Calvin.
460
00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,838
You want some help getting him
off your porch?
461
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:03,375
Nah.
Just let him sleep it off.
462
00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:07,646
Okay, I'm ready.
463
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,214
Ready for what?
464
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:10,415
I'm ready to get help.
465
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,385
Uh...
466
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:14,953
Did I hear what I thought
I just heard?
467
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,655
Yeah, Dave.
468
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:19,291
My man Victor here said
he's ready to get help.
469
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:22,194
Our man is ready to get help.
470
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,463
BOTH:
Our man is ready to get help!
471
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,463
Guys!
472
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:25,797
This ain't helping.
473
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,867
Hold on.
Let me grab my keys.
474
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,836
Be right back.
475
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,836
All right, well, come on.
Hurry up.
476
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:34,740
Hey, hey, hey. Ain't you gonna
get dressed first?
477
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:36,708
You can't waste time
when a man is ready.
478
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:39,711
Victor, you are in good hands
with me and Calvin.
479
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:40,879
We got you.
480
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,282
(engine starts)
481
00:19:44,783 --> 00:19:46,485
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
482
00:19:46,552 --> 00:19:48,620
Yeah, all right.
Well, back it up.
483
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,661
Okay, now we got you.
484
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:58,463
It's true. And then,
485
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,965
at the party,
guns start going off,
486
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,234
so I hit the ground,
and Keisha says,
487
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:03,702
"Real men don't duck."
488
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,938
(laughter)
489
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,773
Well, sounds like
it's bye-bye, thug life,
490
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:09,841
and hello,
Star Trek marathon.
491
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:12,010
(chuckles):
Man, hey, that's right, baby.
492
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,913
The geek is back.
493
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,913
(chuckling)
494
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,915
Well, we knew that when
you walked in in that sweater.
495
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:18,216
(laughter)
496
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,289
Hon, you don't have
to jump a car.
497
00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:25,557
No man living off of crack
and Now and Laters
498
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:27,359
is gonna outdo me.
499
00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:28,760
You know what, she's right,
man.
Yeah.
500
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:30,529
Don't do it.
501
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:30,529
Eh?
502
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:31,663
Until I get my camera ready.
503
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:32,664
Baby!
504
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:32,664
Calvin!
505
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:33,865
No, this is
gonna be good.
506
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:35,367
Oh, my gosh.
507
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:35,367
(groans)
508
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:35,367
All right.
509
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:37,336
Okay.
510
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:37,336
Go! Yeah. Yeah.
511
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:37,336
Oh, baby.
512
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:38,704
Yeah. WorldStar!
513
00:20:39,504 --> 00:20:40,806
(groans)
514
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:47,312
Aw, man.
515
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:49,281
I didn't press record.
516
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:50,549
You gonna have to do it again.
517
00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:03,695
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