All language subtitles for The Nanny S03 E20

Oh, Niles, good.

Look, I know
it's your day off,
but I need you to work.

I need you to
run this ad copy

-down to John Kennedy's
office for me.
-All right.

John John?

You know,
it's his day off.

Would you stop being
such a slave driver?

I'll take it to him.

And what's more,
I'll make sure

that John John
signs for it personally.

Oh, that isn't
necessary, Miss Fine.

Oh, yes, it is.

Who's coming over?

Elizabeth Taylor.

Oh, beautifully executed,
sir.

-Where's Mr. Kennedy?
-In Singapore.

Think she'll wait for him?

[BOTH LAUGH]

Very good, sir.
Very, very good.

Boys, boys, boys.

Now, do you think
that my mother

gave birth to a dummy
25 years ago?

You two wouldn't let
me
near George Kennedy,

let alone John.

Now who's coming
over here?

Well, it doesn't
really matter, Miss Fine,

because you are not
going to meet her,
him or it.

Oh, you know,
I cannot believe
that you don't trust me.

I mean, I sit here
cooped up in the house
all day long.

You never introduce me
to any of the stars
that you know.

You never let me in
any of your shows.

I have a good mind
to go get Little Ricky
and, oh...

Nanny Fine,

I need you
to drop off
this script

to Antonio Banderas.

Forget it, Miss Babcock.

I already know who's
coming over here
this afternoon.

-C.C...
-You told her about
Elizabeth Taylor?

No. You did.

Oh, Elizabeth Taylor!

Oh, when I was
a little girl,

my mother would
dress me up like her
for Halloween.

All that big dark hair
and dramatic makeup,

tight little dress.

[SIGHING]
Oh, I'll tell you,

the things you can
get away with
when you're a kid.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

SINGER:♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl
we've described

♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪

Oh, it's so nice
to meet you, Miss Taylor.

[CAMERA CLICKS]

[SIGHS]

Perfect.

Maxwell, Nanny Fine's
in the living room!

[SHUSHING]

Miss Fine!

I'm just seeing
the kids off to school.

They left an hour ago.

Well, it's a clear day.
I can see forever.

Miss Fine,
what are the rules?

Niles, and only Niles,
is to answer the door.

I'm to stay away
from your office,

and I'm forbidden
to create a diversion

such as
setting a small
but containable fire.

And no staged emergencies
with the children either.

Oh, come on.

Help! I think
I broke my arm.

Save it, honey.
We've been busted.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Elizabeth Taylor.

[THUDDING]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

I'll get it.

Hello.

Oh, Elizabeth Taylor.

This is such an honor.

I'm Fran.
Look at the pretty table.

Keep looking.

Keep looking.

Oh, forget it.

Miss Fine.

[GROWLING]

So, are you
Maxwell's wife?

Oh, no.
I just work for him.

Actually,
I've never been married.

Not even once?

Well, you know,
there was one time,

but then
I thought about it...

[LAUGHING]
That was your mistake, dear.

Shouldn't you tell
Maxwell I'm here?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sure. Sure.

You know what?
I'll just buzz him.

Just buzz him.

Buzz, buzz.

Oh, Miss Taylor,
I have seen everything
that you've ever done.

Cleopatra,
Virginia Woolf.

But you know what
my favorite was?

Here's Lucy.

Oh, I'll tell you,
when your ring

got stuck
on her finger...

You know, I bet you
a lot of people ask you this,

-but could I just...
-No.

Okay.
Well, I'll just go
hang up your coat.

Ma!

What are you
doing here?

The boy let me in.

I've got to meet
Elizabeth Taylor!

Excuse me!

FRAN: Over my dead body.

SYLVIA:
If I could meet
Elizabeth Taylor,

I could retire
in Florida tomorrow.

Miss Taylor,
I'd like you
to meet my mother.

Sylvia Fine.

This meeting bestows
an honor upon me

which is unparalleled
within my universe.

Oh, Maxwell! Thank God.

Elizabeth.

Sylvia, Miss Fine.
You're fired.

Elizabeth, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know you
had already arrived.

Oh, didn't you
hear the buzzer?

No.

Elizabeth,
this is my associate,
C.C. Babcock.

[GIGGLING]

Hello, Elizabeth Taylor.

I bet she isn't married.

Well, why don't we
step into my study,
have a spot of tea?

Ah, and here it is.

Oh, how do you do,
Tiss Maylor.

I'm Biles the nutler.

That's not right,
is it?

This way, Elizabeth.
Just follow the nutler.

I'll be right there,
Maxwell.

Oh, Fran,
could you do me
a massive favor?

-Yes. Yes.
-I'm wearing these
for a photo shoot

to promote my new fragrance,
"Black Pearls."

[BOTH SQUEAL]

-Say, could I...
-No.

Oh.

Could you just call
a bonded courier

and have these sent
to this address?

-You're a love.
-Oh, oh, yes, my queen.

Yes. That call
will get made.

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

You know, sweetheart,
I wouldn't trust a courier.

-No?
-Those armed trucks

just scream,
"Rob me. Rob me".

You know,
you're right, ma.

I can't trust no
bonded courier professional.

I'm gonna have
to do this myself.

Oh, I can't believe
you hid in the closet.

To tell you the truth,
it wasn't my idea.

Come on out, Yetta.

Ah, excuse me.

Excuse me!

What?

You know,
it isn't so much
the half-eaten McDLT

that bothers me so much.

It's the fact that they
discontinued them in '94.

Oh, my God!
I didn't realize

I had Princess Caroline
of Monaco in my back seat.

Forgive me, Your Highness.
I didn't recognize you

with your new
Priscilla Presley hairdo.

Listen, uh... Cozette?

Yeah. I'm French.

You know,
there are occupations
that don't depend on tips.

What is that
supposed to mean?

Well, it's just
that you're...

You're a very
unpleasant person,
as people go.

Well, thank you
very much.

If you were trying
to hurt my feelings

you have succeeded.
Okay?

I mean, I have been having
a really hard week,

a lot of stress,
a lot of pain.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
I... I had no idea.

What's his name?
What did he do?

Jean-Claude.

It's my birthday,
right?

-Happy birthday.
-Oh, thank you.

Do I get perfume?

-No.
-No.

Do I get flowers?

-No.
-No.

You know,
I'm a woman.
I'm sensitive.

I have needs.

Hey, does it say
"Wheelchair Crossing"?

Honey, you know,
let me give you just
a little piece of advice.

I was just talking
to my girlfriend,

Elizabeth Taylor.

Elizabeth Taylor Hilton
Wilding Todd Fisher

BOTH:
Burton Burton
Warner Fortenski?

No wonder her hips
keep breaking down.

That's a good one.
One for you.

Oh, honey,
your mascara's running
just a little bit over there.

-Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
-Yeah.

So, let me just
show you something.

You're gonna get
a big kick out of this.

Red light, sweetie.

Have you ever
seen anything...

Red light, honey.

Take one look at--
red light!

[HORN BLARING]

What could be taking
that doctor so long?

Well, she couldn't have
hit her head that badly.

Her hair alone should act
like a built-in air bag.

I can't believe my daughter
is lying in a hospital.

Mmm. This isn't bad.

I don't know why
everyone complains
about the food.

Don't worry.
She's gonna be just fine.

But I have to warn you,
she's not quite all there.

Oh, no, no.
That's normal.

She bruised her brain
and is experiencing
some loss of memory.

Memory loss?

Don't worry.
It'll come back.

The same thing
happened to me once.

When?

When what?

Her memory will
return on its own.

Just don't force it.
You can see her now.

Maxwell,
thank goodness.

Elizabeth Taylor's
black pearls are missing,

and the last person
who had them...

C.C., not now.

Miss Fine is lying
in a hospital bed
with amnesia.

I'll kill her!

Hi.

I'm Gracie.

I'm Brighton.

I'm Maggie.

Wait a minute.

You know, this seems
familiar to me.

Say, did I ever sing
on some Austrian hillside

with a really
butch haircut?

Everybody out.
Out.

I have to speak to
the brain-bruised
woman in the bed.

She does need
her rest now.

Your family can
come back later
and take you home.

Oh, thank you.

So how are you?
How are you feeling?

Well, you know,
I feel pretty good,

but I think that
this bump on the head

really screwed with
my nasal passages.

I mean, can you imagine
going through life like this?

Please, please, does...

does the name
Elizabeth Taylor
ring any bells?

Yes, yes, of course.

-Of course. I remember.
-Oh, yes. Yes.

I'm Elizabeth Taylor.

No! You're not
Elizabeth Taylor!

Bummer.

She doesn't remember.

Who are you?

I'm your grandma.

Boy, I'm lucky.

I think everything
worked out just the way
I always thought it would.

I'm married to
a great-looking guy

and I have three
gorgeous children.

Oh, honey,
you got hit
on the head.

You're a little
confused.

The two big ones
are from a previous
marriage.

Niles,
what could she have done
with those bloody pearls?

Is there any sign
of Miss Fine's
memory returning?

Well, she couldn't
find her room,

but she was able
to recall the numbers

on your American
Express Gold Card.

And your mother's
maiden name.

Oh, here, try to relax,
sir. There.

I'll have your brandy
and cigar.

Waiting for me
when I get out?

Um... yeah.

Hi, hubby.

Oh, dear God in heaven!

Oh, sweetie,
I don't remember much
about our married life,

but I figure there's
got to be a reason

why this tub is
big enough for two.

Oh, gee, I wish that
would clear up.

Ah, yes, of course,
our, um...

our married life.
Uh...

I... I know
I'm not supposed

to jar your memory
or anything, but, uh...

But what?

Happy 10th anniversary,
darling.

No, no, no, no, no, no!
I can't do this.

Look, I'm not your husband.

Oh, my God!
We're not married?

The truth is I hired you.

I'm a hooker?

Well, that explains my shoes.

No, no. You're...
you're my nanny.

You take care
of my children.

But I've got style.
I've got flair.

How could I become
the nanny?

Oh, everything's
upside down.

Wait a minute. You're still on
Remington Steele,

I am not Pierce Brosnan.

I am Maxwell Sheffield,
and you are my nanny,
Fran Fine.

Now, would you
please get out
of my bath?

Oh, nice try, mister.

You get out first.

Don't splash me!

Don't. Stop it!
Stop it!

Oh! Don't! Stop it!
Don't! Don't!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

[BOTH SHOUTING]

NILES: Excuse me, sir,
Miss Babcock's on
the phone for you,

but I'll just tell her
you'll call right back

right after you and Miss Fine
get out of the Jacuzzi.

Morning, sir.

Morning, Niles.

There seems
to be a problem
with the phones.

I unplugged them, Niles.

What if Miss Taylor
should call looking
for her pearls?

Ah, what if the person
who finds them tries to call?

Plug them back in, Niles.

Got any more
bright ideas?

Good morning.

Can I ask you
a question?

I have been
dressing like this
for three years,

and there's nothing
going on between us?

That's right.
I'm your employer.

Mmm.

And what is it
you do again?

I produce
musical theater.

Oh, now it's all
making sense to me.

Oh, and you, mister,
don't you go anywhere.

After breakfast,
you're cleaning
up the dishes.

It's part of your punishment
for cutting fourth period
last Thursday.

That she remembers?

Do you recognize
this man?

No. No.

No. No. No.

Who are all those men?

They're your father,

just wearing different hair.

I just can't take this
any more. I got to go.

I'm late for your
cousin Rose's wedding.

What?

Rose the nose
is getting married
before me?

Fran?

Ma?

♪♪ How much is that dress ♪♪

♪♪ In Macy's window? ♪♪

♪♪ Who cares ♪♪

♪♪ It'll be at
Loehmann's
on sale ♪♪

Fran, you're back.

Oh, ma.

Oh, ma,
I don't believe it.

It's all coming
back to me now.

I was driving along,
and I hit my head,

and I left
Elizabeth Taylor's
pearls in the taxi.

And I'm getting
out of here.

You lost
Elizabeth Taylor's pearls?

Well, you're the one that
told me not to use a courier.

Oh, Miss Fine.

Who are you?

Oh, don't you remember me?

Ah, well, you look
awfully familiar, but...

oh, gee, I've met so
many people this week.

Oh, come on, think.

Oh, I know.
You're that nice,
loving, and forgiving man.

Guess again.

[GRUNTING]

You're my employer?

[CHUCKLING]
Guess again.

You're my worst
nightmare?

You've got it!

[SCREAMING]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]