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1
00:00:01,466 --> 00:00:03,146
Fran, what are we
doing here?
2
00:00:03,183 --> 00:00:05,163
The guys that come
to this coffee shop
3
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,130
already got girls
they picked up at the club.
4
00:00:07,166 --> 00:00:10,146
Honey, that's why
you and I are shoo-ins.
5
00:00:10,183 --> 00:00:13,223
You know what
those chicks are gonna
look like under these lights
6
00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:17,250
with their big hair
and gaudy dresses
and overly done makeup?
7
00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:21,266
A couple of hookers,
that's what.
8
00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,350
Oh, I'm never gonna
meet anybody.
9
00:00:25,383 --> 00:00:27,123
I'm such a loser.
10
00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:29,270
Val, you're
your own worst enemy.
11
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:33,370
And anytime now
a guy can come up
to you and say hi.
12
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,420
Hi.
13
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,450
Do you mind?
We're talking here.
14
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,120
Hey, could I get
your name and number?
15
00:00:40,150 --> 00:00:43,000
FRAN: Why?
Was that your Porsche
we hit in the front?
16
00:00:44,366 --> 00:00:45,326
What Porsche?
17
00:00:45,366 --> 00:00:46,426
Oh, nothing.
18
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:52,656
Are you actually
making a move on Val?
19
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:53,130
Uh...
20
00:00:53,166 --> 00:00:54,126
Yeah.
21
00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:55,346
BOTH: [SCREAMING]
22
00:00:55,383 --> 00:00:58,433
Oh, Val, you see.
23
00:00:58,466 --> 00:01:00,266
I told you
it was gonna happen.
24
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,280
The three-year
drought is over.
25
00:01:02,316 --> 00:01:05,126
You're not gonna
be an old maid!
26
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,396
All right, play hard-to-get.
27
00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:11,423
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
28
00:01:11,450 --> 00:01:14,320
SINGER:♪♪ She was workingin a bridal shopin Flushing, Queens ♪♪
29
00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:16,830
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriendkicked her out ♪♪
30
00:01:16,116 --> 00:01:17,366
♪♪ In one of thosecrushing scenes ♪♪
31
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,280
♪♪ What was she to do?Where was she to go? ♪♪
32
00:01:19,316 --> 00:01:22,376
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
33
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,116
♪♪ So over the bridgefrom Flushingto the Sheffield's door ♪♪
34
00:01:25,150 --> 00:01:27,370
♪♪ She was thereto sell makeup,but the father saw more ♪♪
35
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,470
♪♪ She had style!She had flair!She was there! ♪♪
36
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,270
♪♪ That's howshe became the nanny! ♪♪
37
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:36,320
♪♪ Who would have guessedthat the girlwe've described ♪♪
38
00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:38,380
♪♪ Was just exactly whatthe doctor prescribed? ♪♪
39
00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:40,166
♪♪ Now the fatherfinds her beguiling ♪♪
40
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,420
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
41
00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:43,170
♪♪ And the kidsare actually smiling ♪♪
42
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,270
♪♪ Such♪♪
43
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:46,660
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
44
00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:49,470
♪♪ When everybody elseis wearing tan ♪♪
45
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,660
♪♪ The flashy girlfrom Flushing ♪♪
46
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,100
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
47
00:01:57,166 --> 00:02:00,316
Maxwell, I have some
samples to show you
48
00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:02,320
for our new business cards.
49
00:02:02,350 --> 00:02:03,400
There's this one...
50
00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:05,833
No. You go ahead
and pick one, C.C.
51
00:02:05,116 --> 00:02:07,146
You know I really
don't care about
this sort of...
52
00:02:07,183 --> 00:02:09,003
Sheffield should be bigger.
53
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,220
I agree.
54
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:12,150
That's why I think
we should go with this one.
55
00:02:12,183 --> 00:02:14,173
-Fine.
-Move your thumb.
56
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,230
[EXCLAIMS]
57
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,280
The other one.
58
00:02:19,433 --> 00:02:22,403
"Sheffield-Babcock
Productions"?
59
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,323
Yes, Maxwell.
60
00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:27,000
I think it's time
I got some recognition.
61
00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:30,320
I perform a very
important function
around here.
62
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,330
Oh, that's true, sir.
That couch would be
floating all over the room
63
00:02:33,660 --> 00:02:34,480
if she weren't here
to hold it down.
64
00:02:37,830 --> 00:02:39,000
Maxwell, this
partnership discussion
65
00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:42,200
is long overdue,
and you always find
a way of avoiding it.
66
00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:43,283
Oh, that's absurd, C.C.
67
00:02:43,316 --> 00:02:45,176
I certainly
don't try to avoid...
68
00:02:45,216 --> 00:02:47,476
Oh, Miss Fine. Do come in.
69
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,130
I didn't break it.
70
00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:50,146
Break what?
71
00:02:50,183 --> 00:02:51,373
Uh, my diet?
72
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:54,400
Come, sit.
Sit, sit, sit.
73
00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:57,153
So how is that wacky
family of yours, eh?
74
00:02:57,183 --> 00:02:59,663
Oh, well, let's see.
75
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,250
Oh, you know,
they scrambled
the Spice Channel
76
00:03:01,283 --> 00:03:03,383
at Grandma Yetta's
retirement home.
77
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,416
Two freak pregnancies.
78
00:03:08,233 --> 00:03:10,503
And you know ma's mole,
79
00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:12,330
the one that kept
changing colors?
80
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,300
Well, thank God, nothing.
81
00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:16,253
Doctor called it
a mood mole.
82
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:19,453
[ALL LAUGH]
83
00:03:19,483 --> 00:03:21,203
Dad wasn't so lucky, though.
84
00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:23,333
You know that
burning sensation he has...
85
00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:25,660
Shut up!
86
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,450
He doesn't
really care.
87
00:03:28,483 --> 00:03:30,483
He is just listening
to your blather
88
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,170
to avoid
talking to me.
89
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,300
Well!
90
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:38,183
Anywho, the burning
sensation...
91
00:03:38,216 --> 00:03:40,316
Nanny Fine, wouldn't
you rather share this
92
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:43,160
mindless dribble
with your friend Val?
93
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:44,220
Well, yes, I would.
94
00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,450
But Val's not around much
these days ever since
95
00:03:46,483 --> 00:03:50,483
she found herself
a boyfriend.
96
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,350
ALL: [LAUGHING]
97
00:03:52,383 --> 00:03:56,373
Oh, no, it's true.
It's true.
98
00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,130
Val has a life,
and I don't.
99
00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:00,156
It's a world gone mad.
100
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:05,660
It's like when Rhoda
got married before Mary.
101
00:04:06,350 --> 00:04:09,000
Oh, poor Nanny Fine.
102
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:11,150
Would you like
a nice cup of tea?
103
00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:13,383
Oh, you know,
that would be very nice.
104
00:04:13,416 --> 00:04:15,996
Good. Get me one
with lemon, too.
105
00:04:18,366 --> 00:04:21,116
God, how do I put up
with that woman,
106
00:04:21,150 --> 00:04:24,150
not to mention the remains
of decay over here?
107
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:30,416
C.C., I founded this company
when I was 17 years old,
108
00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:33,230
and I am not about
to give half of it away.
109
00:04:33,266 --> 00:04:35,196
Without me,
there would be no
110
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:38,103
Maxwell Sheffield
Productions.
111
00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:43,660
Niles,
would you leave us
alone for a moment?
112
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,480
Oh, certainly, sir.
I'm almost done.
113
00:04:48,116 --> 00:04:49,366
Now, look, C.C.
114
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,200
I had already produced
seven shows in England
115
00:04:52,233 --> 00:04:54,373
before you
became my secretary!
116
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,660
[CHUCKLING]
117
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,270
Oh, I forgot about
those seven shows.
118
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,120
What did the critics
call them?
119
00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:09,130
"Sleepy," "Dopey,"
"Lousy," and "Closey"?
120
00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:17,320
All right, C.C.
If you're unhappy here,
121
00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,200
please don't let me
stand in your way.
122
00:05:20,233 --> 00:05:24,253
Fine. If that's
the way you feel,
I quit!
123
00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:28,333
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah!
124
00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:31,123
Well, why didn't you
say something?
125
00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:33,300
I'm sorry, sir.
I just-- I just got
so excited. I mean,
126
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,433
she said...
and then-- then you said...
and when she said, "I quit,"
127
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:41,826
well, I-I-I just wanted
to roll over, light up,
and watchLetterman.
128
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:43,100
Oh!
129
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,830
[♪♪♪]
130
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,216
Psst, psst.
Dad, is Fran here?
131
00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:54,830
-No.
-Oh, thank God.
132
00:05:54,116 --> 00:05:56,156
First, she makes me
go with her to buy
some shoes.
133
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:58,170
I'm sorry. But those
people deserve medals.
134
00:05:59,383 --> 00:06:00,473
Then we went
to get a facial.
135
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,120
I'm combination skin,
should it ever come up.
136
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,203
And then I had to sit
throughA Star is Born,
137
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,173
both Barbra and
Judy's version.
138
00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:12,833
Dad, she's turning me
into Val.
139
00:06:12,116 --> 00:06:14,276
[SOBBING]
140
00:06:17,150 --> 00:06:18,480
Brighton,
141
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,000
Yentl
142
00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:23,280
on laser disc.
143
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:26,656
♪♪ Brighton,can you hear me?♪♪
144
00:06:28,830 --> 00:06:30,830
No!
145
00:06:31,283 --> 00:06:33,453
Look, Miss Fine,
I know you're going through
146
00:06:33,483 --> 00:06:35,423
a very difficult stage
right now,
147
00:06:35,450 --> 00:06:38,400
and I can't possibly fill
Val's shoes.
148
00:06:38,433 --> 00:06:41,333
Well, unfortunately for her,
you can.
149
00:06:43,416 --> 00:06:46,326
Well, I'm not busy.
150
00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:48,430
How about I be your
best friend tonight, hmm?
151
00:06:48,466 --> 00:06:51,396
Come on, what...
what would you
and Val do together?
152
00:06:51,433 --> 00:06:53,333
Uh...
153
00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:54,830
Make out.
154
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,270
Miss Fine...
155
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:04,320
Well, sometimes
we file our nails,
156
00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:09,330
and we talk about
our fantasies, you
know,
157
00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:12,180
when our parents
are gonna move
to Florida,
158
00:07:12,216 --> 00:07:14,466
Haagen-Dazs,
burning fat.
159
00:07:15,466 --> 00:07:17,476
You know, the usual.
160
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,480
Well, I have fantasies,
too, you know.
161
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,270
Cats
162
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:26,370
PhantomSunset Boulevard
163
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:33,200
And, you know, then,
sometimes we fantasize
about men.
164
00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:35,253
How about you?
165
00:07:35,283 --> 00:07:38,223
Well, I did once have a dream
about that chap inWings.
166
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:42,430
Ah, you know, um,
167
00:07:42,466 --> 00:07:46,126
I-- I think this is,
uh, getting a little
too intimate for me.
168
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,376
I'm, uh, I'm gonna go
and watch some sports.
169
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,470
Miss Toriello is here.
170
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,150
FRAN: Oh, Val, you broke up
with Pauly?
171
00:07:57,183 --> 00:07:59,003
Oh, you know,
it's probably
all for the best.
172
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:01,500
I thought that
he was the biggest...
173
00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:02,130
Oh, hi, Pauly.
174
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,276
Hey.
175
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,366
Hi.
176
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,100
Fran, I just gotta
use the bathroom.
177
00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,403
Yeah. We could have
went to Orange Julius,
178
00:08:07,433 --> 00:08:09,433
but they make you
buy something.
179
00:08:09,466 --> 00:08:11,266
Okay, go, go.
180
00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:12,330
Oh.
181
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:13,366
FRAN: [CHUCKLING]
182
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,330
Oh, you kids
183
00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:21,400
make such
a cute couple.
184
00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:24,403
-You know, we should
double sometime.
-Sure.
185
00:08:24,433 --> 00:08:27,273
-Maybe you could dig
someone up for me.
-Yeah.
186
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:29,480
Like you need any
help getting fixed up.
187
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:34,000
I was just pulling your leg.
188
00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:36,453
Got any brothers?
189
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:38,333
Fran, I tell you,
190
00:08:38,366 --> 00:08:42,826
I've been waiting
for someone like Val
for a long time.
191
00:08:42,116 --> 00:08:45,166
Oh, that's really sweet,
Pauly.
192
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,400
You know,
I'm very happy
for the two of you.
193
00:08:48,433 --> 00:08:50,433
I know we're all
gonna be great friends.
194
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,430
MAXWELL: Ah, C.C.,
195
00:09:05,466 --> 00:09:08,316
come crawling back?
196
00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:13,220
Actually, Maxwell,
I'm in negotiations
with Marvin Hamlisch.
197
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:15,380
You know him.
You met him
at the awards
dinner,
198
00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:18,246
when he got the Tony
and you got the onion soup.
199
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,320
-[CHUCKLES]
-Anyway,
we're forming a company.
200
00:09:22,350 --> 00:09:25,500
-Oh, really?
You and Marvin, eh?
-Uh-huh.
201
00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:27,380
So what's it to be,
Bablisch Productions
202
00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:30,476
or simply Hamcock?
203
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,000
[CHUCKLING]
204
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,220
Well, I'd love
to stay and chat,
205
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,830
but I just dropped
by to get my things.
206
00:09:46,116 --> 00:09:49,216
It's gonna take me
forever to pack up
and get out of here.
207
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:54,170
[NILES SINGING]
208
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,473
God, Niles, I can't get
into my office.
209
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,280
Scripts are piled
to the bloody ceiling.
210
00:10:06,316 --> 00:10:08,116
Where do they all come from?
211
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,000
Young, starving writers,
sir,
212
00:10:10,330 --> 00:10:11,280
scraping together the $2
213
00:10:11,316 --> 00:10:13,116
to postmark the opus
they pray
214
00:10:13,150 --> 00:10:15,230
will rescue them
from their squalor.
215
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,446
C.C. reads all of them?
216
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:19,323
No. She throws them out.
217
00:10:20,383 --> 00:10:22,353
She was more valuable
to me than I thought.
218
00:10:22,383 --> 00:10:25,333
NILES: Oh, true, sir.
People with pets live longer.
219
00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:29,423
Oh, God, that would have
gotten you, eh, old girl?
220
00:10:31,316 --> 00:10:35,496
Niles, is it possible
you actually miss
Miss Babcock
221
00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:37,420
and that you're
substituting food
for insulting her?
222
00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:41,500
Oh, that is ridiculous, sir.
223
00:10:41,830 --> 00:10:43,170
I don't know what
you're talking about.
224
00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:46,130
What happened to that
quart of Chunky Monkey
225
00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:48,276
that was behind the peas?
226
00:10:48,316 --> 00:10:50,476
Been there, done that.
227
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,320
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I don't know what to do.
228
00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:56,370
Val's new boyfriend
made a pass at me.
229
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,300
Well, perhaps you just
imagined the whole thing.
230
00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:01,103
I most certainly did not.
Now, come over here.
231
00:11:01,133 --> 00:11:03,203
I'm gonna show you
exactly what happened.
232
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:06,120
Put your arms around me.
233
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:11,276
Okay. Normal, normal, normal.
234
00:11:11,316 --> 00:11:13,126
How do you do?
235
00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:21,120
Are you sure he held you
like this for this long?
236
00:11:21,150 --> 00:11:23,170
Well, I'm taking
a little dramatic license.
237
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:27,830
I mean,
it is a re-enactment
of an actual event.
238
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,380
Miss Fine, isn't it possible
you just
239
00:11:29,416 --> 00:11:31,126
backed into
a drawer or something?
240
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:32,296
Look, if a drawer
could do that,
241
00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:34,163
I'd be living
at Ethan Allen's.
242
00:11:37,216 --> 00:11:39,216
Maybe...
maybe you're just jealous
of the relationship
243
00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:40,420
and wanted to
break them up.
244
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,270
I don't have a jealous bone
in my body.
245
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:44,370
That's completely
against my personality.
246
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,100
Ah, yes, but sometimes
when you're facing a void
in life,
247
00:11:47,133 --> 00:11:49,163
you do, well,
pretty strange things.
248
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,250
Yeah.
You have been acting
a little weird lately.
249
00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:00,170
Oh, you're right.
I know you're right.
250
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,430
I just need
a new best friend.
251
00:12:02,466 --> 00:12:05,466
Yeah. Boy,
I could sure use a good zing
at Miss Babcock.
252
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,150
You know,
when I was a kid
253
00:12:09,183 --> 00:12:11,433
and our dog died,
we got a new one.
254
00:12:11,466 --> 00:12:14,096
That's what I need,
a new dog.
255
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,383
Hello. Hello.
256
00:12:15,416 --> 00:12:20,416
[MUMBLING]
257
00:12:25,233 --> 00:12:30,123
Well, C.C.,
long time no see.
258
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,000
You know,
now that you've quit,
259
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:35,330
you're much more punctual
than you were when
you were getting paid.
260
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,330
Perhaps I should fire you.
261
00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,380
Excuse me!
262
00:12:41,416 --> 00:12:44,326
But she happens
to commute here.
263
00:12:44,366 --> 00:12:46,246
I live here.
264
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,300
Oh!
265
00:12:51,366 --> 00:12:55,366
I just came by to drop off
these contracts that were
at my house.
266
00:12:58,116 --> 00:13:02,326
Miss Babcock, look,
you're on the cover
of theInquisitor.
267
00:13:02,660 --> 00:13:05,400
Oh, how did that
get in there?
268
00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:10,223
Oh, my God.
269
00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:13,170
"Miracle dog lands plane."
Listen to this.
270
00:13:14,283 --> 00:13:16,283
"Peppy, Peppy the Chihuahua..."
271
00:13:16,316 --> 00:13:19,266
Below the dog
with the goggles,
Maxwell!
272
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:22,130
Me and Marvin Hamlisch,
right there.
273
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:26,496
Oh, well, C.C., seems
congratulations are in order.
274
00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:27,280
You're in good company.
275
00:13:27,316 --> 00:13:30,216
Well, Marvin Hamlisch
is an institution.
276
00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:33,163
I meant Peppy.
277
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,446
Miss Babcock,
I was wondering
278
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,223
-if you'd like to...
-Love to.
279
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,330
Well,
you didn't even know
what I was gonna...
280
00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:42,400
-My treat.
-Okay.
281
00:13:42,433 --> 00:13:44,833
Gee, I'm famished.
282
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:46,196
We'll have so
much to talk about.
It'll be great.
283
00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:47,203
Like what?
284
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,203
Uh...
285
00:13:49,233 --> 00:13:51,163
We'll drink.
We'll drink.
286
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,420
You've had sushi before,
haven't you, Nanny Fine?
287
00:13:57,450 --> 00:14:01,230
Oh, yeah. Sure, sure,
sure, sure.
288
00:14:02,416 --> 00:14:04,146
Smells like fish here.
289
00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:09,403
Oh, look, samples.
290
00:14:24,183 --> 00:14:26,323
Tastes a little rubbery.
291
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:28,830
You're eating the display.
292
00:14:28,116 --> 00:14:29,276
Oh, my God.
293
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,830
I'm turning into my mother.
294
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,480
You know, once she ate a half
of a plastic Oreo cookie
295
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,270
before she realized
it was a refrigerator magnet.
296
00:14:47,116 --> 00:14:48,476
Miss Babcock,
did you ever think
297
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,300
that a guy was
coming on to you
298
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:54,123
and it turned out
that he really had no
interest in you at all?
299
00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:56,100
Oh, happens to me
all the time.
300
00:14:59,216 --> 00:15:01,216
[EXCLAIMING]
301
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:03,170
So, what's the green stuff?
302
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,830
It's wasabi.
It's like mustard.
Gives it a real kick.
303
00:15:06,116 --> 00:15:07,426
Ooh, I love mustard.
304
00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:14,373
So, tell me,
305
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,230
how's working
with Marvin Hamlisch?
306
00:15:18,266 --> 00:15:20,266
How should I know?
I never met the man.
307
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,480
Well, what about that
picture in the paper?
308
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,180
Oh, Nanny Fine,
I know the editor.
309
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,096
The entire cover
was a fake.
310
00:15:28,150 --> 00:15:30,400
You mean, Peppy didn't fly
the plane?
311
00:15:37,216 --> 00:15:39,316
Nanny Fine,
you've got to help me.
312
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:42,350
You have to get Maxwell
to ask me back.
313
00:16:00,366 --> 00:16:04,216
Please, Nanny Fine,
you've just got
to do this for me,
314
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:06,830
for old time's sake.
315
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:09,283
We go way back.
316
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,446
Remember that time you ate
the rubber shrimp?
317
00:16:20,183 --> 00:16:21,403
Gee,
318
00:16:21,433 --> 00:16:26,423
you know, that mustard really
clears up the nasal passages.
319
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,330
I like it.
320
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,220
I wonder how long
it's gonna last?
321
00:16:48,266 --> 00:16:50,226
FRAN: What's the matter,
Mr. Sheffield?
322
00:16:50,266 --> 00:16:53,226
Miss Fine, it's no good.
I-- I just can't be genuinely
323
00:16:53,266 --> 00:16:56,416
insincere the way
Miss Babcock is.
324
00:16:56,450 --> 00:17:00,200
I tried calling everyone
"sweetie darling"
like she does.
325
00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:03,453
Now Harvey Fierstein's
making pesto for me
on Thursday.
326
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,150
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
327
00:17:09,183 --> 00:17:13,163
why don't you
and Miss Babcock
bury the hatchet?
328
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:17,100
Ask her back.
Then you could take her
to the benefit tomorrow.
329
00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:19,423
Actually, Miss Fine,
I was just thinking
about asking you.
330
00:17:19,450 --> 00:17:22,330
Okay. I can't worry
about the world.
331
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,660
[DOORBELL RINGING]
332
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,160
Oh, I'll get that.
It's for me.
333
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,466
-Oh, hi, Pauly.
-Hey, Fran.
334
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,330
Where's Val?
335
00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:35,130
Oh, she stepped
in some dog doo
336
00:17:35,166 --> 00:17:37,116
so she went to buy
a lottery ticket.
337
00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:43,503
Well, actually,
I'm glad that we have
a minute together because...
338
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,130
I just wanted to tell
you...
you know the other night
339
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:46,476
when I accidentally
tripped you
340
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,370
and you fell on the floor
and then I stepped on
your hand?
341
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,230
Hey, no problem.
342
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:57,330
Well, it wasn't
exactly an accident.
343
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,150
No kidding?
344
00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:00,170
What about the hot soup?
345
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,350
Oh, I'm so ashamed.
346
00:18:02,383 --> 00:18:04,353
-What about the...
-Let's not belabor this.
347
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:10,180
The point is, is that,
well, the other day
when you hugged me,
348
00:18:10,216 --> 00:18:12,296
I kind of thought that
you were coming on to me,
349
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:15,003
and now I realize
that I was probably
350
00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:17,830
just jealous
of Val having a...
351
00:18:17,116 --> 00:18:20,496
Hey, Fran, say no more.
352
00:18:20,830 --> 00:18:22,170
I just want us all
to be good friends.
353
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,450
Me, too.
354
00:18:27,433 --> 00:18:29,173
Pauly!
355
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,350
Val!
356
00:18:30,383 --> 00:18:33,503
-This is not
what it looks like.
-Yeah.
357
00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:35,250
Well, it looks like
you're kissing
my best friend.
358
00:18:35,283 --> 00:18:38,183
Okay. I was wrong.
This is very similar.
359
00:18:38,216 --> 00:18:39,266
But she kissed me.
360
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,270
Oh, Pauly, you better
tell the truth
361
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,200
or you're gonna
be walking funny.
362
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:50,280
I'm thinking
that you've been
in this situation before.
363
00:18:50,316 --> 00:18:52,396
Now get out of here!
I never want
to see you again.
364
00:18:52,433 --> 00:18:54,103
-Get out! Get out!
-Get out!
365
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,173
Oh, what a slime.
366
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,000
-What a lowlife.
-What a sleaze.
367
00:18:58,330 --> 00:19:00,380
-Ugh!
-Some hell of a kisser, huh?
368
00:19:00,416 --> 00:19:01,476
Wasn't he?
369
00:19:08,183 --> 00:19:09,253
[DOORBELL RINGING]
370
00:19:09,283 --> 00:19:12,003
Oh, I'll get it!
371
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:16,270
I'm coming.
372
00:19:18,316 --> 00:19:23,266
Oh, Miss Babcock,
you look fabulous.
373
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,180
What are you doing here?
374
00:19:25,216 --> 00:19:27,226
You called me.
You told me
you had a plan
375
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,466
to get me and Maxwell
back together.
376
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,330
You told me to get dressed up
and get over here!
377
00:19:30,366 --> 00:19:34,326
Oh, that was tonight?
Ah, psyched you out.
378
00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:40,000
-C.C., what are you doing
here?
-Uh...
379
00:19:40,330 --> 00:19:43,330
Well, she came to pick up
the tickets for the benefit.
380
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,400
Good! I mean, yes.
381
00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:47,353
But she can't
stay long because
382
00:19:47,383 --> 00:19:50,663
Marvin Hamlisch is waiting
in the limo.
383
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:52,300
That's right.
Marvin Ham-- Huh?
384
00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:54,433
Why don't you
invite him in?
385
00:19:54,466 --> 00:19:56,416
Yeah. Why don't you go
invite him in?
386
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,270
I can't, Nanny Fine,
387
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:05,230
because he's in the car
talking on the car phone
to...
388
00:20:05,266 --> 00:20:06,296
C.C.
389
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,176
Hello, Marvin Hamlisch.
390
00:20:18,216 --> 00:20:22,826
Oh, Mr. Hamlisch,
I'm one of your biggest fans.
391
00:20:22,116 --> 00:20:25,096
-Can you send me
an autographed picture?
-Of course.
392
00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:28,403
Just have her write,
"To Fran,
Love Barbra Streisand."
393
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:33,830
Maxwell...
394
00:20:33,116 --> 00:20:35,146
Maxwell,
I can't imagine
why you'd let
395
00:20:35,183 --> 00:20:38,423
this woman go,
but your loss
is my gain.
396
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,330
[C.C. LAUGHS]
397
00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:45,320
-How did you...
-[SHUSHING]
398
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:48,230
Excuse me, sir.
It's Harvey Fierstein
399
00:20:48,266 --> 00:20:49,996
regarding the pesto.
400
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:51,400
Can you digest pine nuts?
401
00:20:51,433 --> 00:20:52,433
Oh, my God!
402
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:57,450
You know what, Harv,
put his nuts on the side.
403
00:21:00,383 --> 00:21:04,003
Oh, God, C.C.,
please, please,
404
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:07,150
you have to come back.
Look, I'll-- I'll make you
executive vice president
405
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,473
and give you two full points
in the company.
406
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,320
I'm afraid I can't come back
for anything
407
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:14,220
than an equal partnership,
Maxwell.
408
00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:16,180
Sorry, C.C.,
I can't do that.
409
00:21:16,216 --> 00:21:18,376
Kidding!
410
00:21:18,416 --> 00:21:23,326
Come on, C.C.,
we've got some
backers to schmooze.
411
00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:25,330
No hard feelings,
hey, Marv?
412
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:26,130
Good luck
with your new show.
413
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:27,466
I smell a Tony.
414
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,300
Well, then,
you should have showered
after he left.
415
00:21:32,830 --> 00:21:33,220
[SIGHS]
416
00:21:35,416 --> 00:21:37,656
Welcome back.
417
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,220
So, tell me,
would you like a drink?
418
00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:45,000
-I'd love it.
-Okay.
419
00:21:45,330 --> 00:21:46,380
Oh, Mr. Hamlisch,
I'm such a big fan.
420
00:21:46,416 --> 00:21:48,346
Do you know, I saw
A ChorusLinenine...
421
00:21:48,383 --> 00:21:50,253
Save it, Niles.
422
00:21:50,283 --> 00:21:51,483
This is Alan Neider,
423
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,350
my music teacher
from Hillcrest High School.
424
00:21:57,300 --> 00:22:01,150
Isn't he a dead ringer
for Marvin Hamlisch?
425
00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:03,226
I don't see it.
426
00:22:10,333 --> 00:22:13,353
Oh, I'll tell you,
it is so pathetic,
427
00:22:13,383 --> 00:22:17,383
the poor guy living in
the shadow of a genius.
428
00:22:17,416 --> 00:22:19,196
No real talent himself.
429
00:22:19,483 --> 00:22:24,833
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
430
00:22:26,433 --> 00:22:28,183
Sad, isn't it?
431
00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:43,660
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
30262
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