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1
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,830
MAXWELL: So did you
have a nice evening?
2
00:00:06,116 --> 00:00:10,156
Oh, I'll tell you, it was
a beautiful wedding.
3
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,250
Val and I cried our eyes out.
4
00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:15,283
She made some gorgeous bride,
that Dr. Quinn.
5
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,430
-Fran, where's ourTV Guide?
-Right here.
6
00:00:20,466 --> 00:00:22,396
-Give me your best shot.
-All righty.
7
00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:27,123
Channel 29, what follows
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir?
8
00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:31,180
That would beFamily Affair,
the episode where Mr. French
9
00:00:31,216 --> 00:00:33,296
accidentally drops Mrs.
Beasley
off the terrace,
10
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:36,833
followed byThe Munsters
with Marilyn Number Two
11
00:00:36,116 --> 00:00:37,466
followed byBewitched
with Darrin Number One
12
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,000
but Mrs. Kravitz Number Two.
13
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,270
Bravo, Miss Fine.
14
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:45,170
You seem to know more
about '60s television
15
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,470
than most people at your
age
have forgotten.
16
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,400
Well, are you calling me old
or just stupid?
17
00:00:51,483 --> 00:00:54,163
Well, you have a childlike
quality
18
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,300
that I find absolutely charming.
19
00:00:56,333 --> 00:01:00,253
-Childlike?
-Just stupid.
20
00:01:00,283 --> 00:01:04,173
Well, what does he expect?
All I do is talk to kids
all day.
21
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,420
If someone would keep their head
out of the paper in the morning,
22
00:01:07,450 --> 00:01:11,160
maybe I can have
an adult conversation.
23
00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:14,350
Look,Dumb & Dumber
at the dollar theatres.
24
00:01:16,316 --> 00:01:18,446
All right, Miss Fine. You
want
an adult conversation?
25
00:01:18,483 --> 00:01:20,353
-Yes, I do.
-Let's talk.
26
00:01:20,383 --> 00:01:23,383
Um, affirmative action,
for or against?
27
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:26,276
Against. Get rid of
affirmative action.
28
00:01:26,316 --> 00:01:28,346
Those creams don't work.
29
00:01:28,383 --> 00:01:32,833
My mother has been smearing
them
on her thighs for years,
30
00:01:32,116 --> 00:01:34,476
and she still looks
like she fell asleep
in a wicker chair.
31
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,303
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
32
00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:44,183
SINGER: ♪♪ She was working in a
bridal shop in Flushing, Queens
♪♪
33
00:01:44,216 --> 00:01:45,416
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriendkicked her out ♪♪
34
00:01:45,450 --> 00:01:47,230
♪♪ In one of thosecrushing scenes ♪♪
35
00:01:47,266 --> 00:01:49,656
♪♪ What was she to do?Where was she to go? ♪♪
36
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,660
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
37
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,320
♪♪ So over the bridgefrom Flushingto the Sheffields'door ♪♪
38
00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:57,280
♪♪ She was thereto sell makeup,but the father saw more♪♪
39
00:01:57,316 --> 00:01:59,276
♪♪ She had style!She had flair!She was there! ♪♪
40
00:01:59,316 --> 00:02:03,126
♪♪ That's howShe became the nanny! ♪♪
41
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:06,326
♪♪ Who would have guessed thatthe girl we've described ♪♪
42
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,170
♪♪ Was just exactly whatthe doctor prescribed? ♪♪
43
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,420
♪♪ Now the fatherfinds her beguiling ♪♪
44
00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:11,120
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
45
00:02:11,150 --> 00:02:12,320
♪♪ And the kidsare actuallysmiling ♪♪
46
00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:14,370
♪♪ Such♪♪
47
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:19,160
♪♪ She's the lady in redwhen everybody else iswearingtan ♪♪
48
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,300
♪♪ The flashy girlfrom Flushing ♪♪
49
00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:23,423
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
50
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:29,270
Ooh, now they're unloading
a couch.
51
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:32,160
Nope. It's a sectional.
52
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:35,470
Nope. It's a love seat
and a chaise.
53
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,150
-Nope, nope...
-Oh, would you stop it?
You're driving me crazy.
54
00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:40,373
[SHUSHING]
55
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,350
What if the person moving
in
is a single guy?
56
00:02:42,383 --> 00:02:43,473
If he hears you
yelling at me,
57
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,170
he's gonna
think
we're married.
58
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,380
I'm sorry, Miss Fine.
59
00:02:47,416 --> 00:02:50,316
I'm just obsessing over
something in the newspaper.
60
00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,280
Oh, you want to
talk about it?
61
00:02:52,316 --> 00:02:54,296
No, I don't think it's
anything
you'll be interested in.
62
00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:55,333
Well, I could fake it.
63
00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:58,296
It wouldn't be
the first time.
64
00:02:58,333 --> 00:03:01,173
All right. It's President
Clinton's Renaissance Weekend,
65
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,220
and I was hoping
I'd be invited.
66
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:06,000
Oh, a Renaissance Weekend.
67
00:03:06,330 --> 00:03:07,450
Boy, Clinton goes
to those things?
68
00:03:07,483 --> 00:03:11,003
'Cause I'm thinking
tights and a pointy hat
is not his best look.
69
00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:15,253
No, Miss Fine. Not the
Renaissance Faire,
70
00:03:15,283 --> 00:03:17,303
the Renaissance Weekend.
71
00:03:17,333 --> 00:03:18,423
It's a yearly gathering
72
00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:20,230
of the best minds from
every walk of life,
73
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,466
and they only invite one member
of the Broadway community,
74
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,170
and you know the one name
that's ahead of mine.
75
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,470
Right. Who comes before
Sheffield?
76
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,200
A, B, C, D, E, F, G... R!
77
00:03:29,233 --> 00:03:32,473
Phylicia Rashad is before
Mr. Sheffield.
78
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,380
No, Miss Fine.
Not Phylicia
Rashad.
79
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:37,226
Andrew Lloyd Webber.
80
00:03:37,266 --> 00:03:39,416
Webber? W is before S?
81
00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:41,480
Boy, and they call me stupid.
82
00:03:47,316 --> 00:03:50,996
Well, it's 12:30. Where's
this
brother of yours, C.C.?
83
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:54,660
Brother? There's
a brother coming?
84
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,000
Is he short,
ugly, and married?
85
00:03:56,330 --> 00:03:57,150
No. Why?
86
00:03:57,183 --> 00:03:59,833
Well, then I gotta change.
87
00:04:00,830 --> 00:04:01,330
Nanny Fine, please,
88
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:05,176
he is a full-time professor
at Northwestern University.
89
00:04:05,216 --> 00:04:08,656
Well, I don't mind
moving down south.
90
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:13,380
Oh, it will be so
wonderful
to see Noel again.
91
00:04:13,416 --> 00:04:15,346
We used to have so much fun.
92
00:04:15,383 --> 00:04:17,403
Every summer he'd take me
to the horse show.
93
00:04:17,433 --> 00:04:20,163
Did you ever win?
94
00:04:25,383 --> 00:04:28,283
Maxwell,
will you put that out?
It's stinking up the
house.
95
00:04:28,316 --> 00:04:30,296
Oh, C.C., I thought you liked
cigars.
96
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:32,503
I meant him.
97
00:04:34,116 --> 00:04:35,216
[DOORBELL RINGS]
98
00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:37,830
Oh, he's here.
99
00:04:37,116 --> 00:04:40,496
Oh, we were just
like best friends.
100
00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:41,330
C.C.
101
00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:44,126
Noel.
102
00:04:48,483 --> 00:04:51,383
-Yes!
-Well, you've been working
out.
103
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,996
[SNIFFING]
104
00:04:53,330 --> 00:04:57,330
I smell Lady Stetson.
Mummy gave you this.
105
00:04:57,660 --> 00:04:58,120
She gave you the Beamer.
106
00:04:58,150 --> 00:05:00,130
She gave you the Benz.
107
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,176
C.C., Mummy died yesterday.
108
00:05:02,216 --> 00:05:05,326
-[GASPS] What'd you get?
-Got you.
109
00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:10,150
I walked right into that.
110
00:05:10,183 --> 00:05:11,473
He used to keep me
in stitches
111
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,170
with all that
"Mummy died" stuff.
112
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,830
Oh, yes. Charming.
113
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:20,496
Oh, I didn't know
we had company.
114
00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,180
Isn't anyone going to
introduce us?
115
00:05:23,216 --> 00:05:25,276
All right. This is
my
charming,
116
00:05:25,316 --> 00:05:27,416
wealthy, educated brother,
Noel.
117
00:05:27,450 --> 00:05:29,350
Noel, this is the help.
118
00:05:30,383 --> 00:05:32,373
I'm Dr. Noel Babcock.
119
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,230
Oh, a teacher and a doctor.
120
00:05:35,266 --> 00:05:38,196
Your mother must be kvelling.
121
00:05:39,216 --> 00:05:41,416
Miss Fine, don't you
have something to do?
122
00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:43,100
Oh, he thinks
123
00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:46,353
that I can't handle
an adult
conversation.
124
00:05:46,383 --> 00:05:49,163
Want a Juicy Juice?
125
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:52,150
Maybe I'd learn something
if I hung out
with the professor.
126
00:05:52,183 --> 00:05:55,003
Worked for Mary Ann
and Ginger.
127
00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:59,280
Is something going on
with Max and the nanny?
128
00:05:59,316 --> 00:06:00,376
-No.
-Huh?
129
00:06:00,416 --> 00:06:03,296
I mean, Maxwell
is an educated man.
130
00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:06,333
-She went to
Nick at Nite
-[CHUCKLES]
131
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:10,826
C.C., would you like
to have some fun?
132
00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:13,326
Noel, I thought that
was against the law.
133
00:06:13,366 --> 00:06:15,276
No.
134
00:06:15,316 --> 00:06:18,326
No, no, no. No, I
meant
a little wager.
135
00:06:18,366 --> 00:06:21,226
I say the nanny
can be taught.
136
00:06:21,266 --> 00:06:24,326
Oh, please, don't make me
take your money.
137
00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:26,220
This is a woman who thought
Clarence Thomas
138
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:28,160
was onThe Mod Squad.
139
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:30,170
[BOTH LAUGHING]
140
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,480
Stop it. You're gonna
make me go right here.
141
00:06:36,383 --> 00:06:39,133
(BOTH SIGHING)
142
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,376
My Lamborghini against
your prize
thoroughbred.
143
00:06:42,416 --> 00:06:43,476
You choose the test.
144
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:48,350
Well, the only thing
she knows is television.
145
00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:50,133
I'll make it easy for you.
146
00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:52,156
Get her onJeopardy.
147
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,330
All right. You're on.
148
00:06:55,366 --> 00:06:59,296
Oh, I can't wait to get
behind
the wheel of that car.
149
00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:02,323
And I can't wait to get
behind
that racehorse.
150
00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:04,120
You know what I mean.
151
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,130
[BOTH SIGHING]
152
00:07:15,416 --> 00:07:20,396
No, Ma, Noel is not
that kind of doctor.
153
00:07:20,433 --> 00:07:24,123
'Cause he's a p...
You can't write
prescriptions, can you?
154
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:26,233
No.
155
00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:28,196
That's what your
insurance is for.
156
00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:30,473
Would you just call your
H-O-M-O. Oy.
157
00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:36,130
Fran, you are enchanting.
158
00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:38,826
I don't know why you're
insecure
about your intelligence.
159
00:07:38,116 --> 00:07:41,156
-Oh, well.
-I mean, if you're smart
enough to get on
Jeopardy.
160
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,500
Who got onJeopardy?
161
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:44,430
Well, C.C. told me
you'd been on a game show.
162
00:07:44,466 --> 00:07:48,376
-I naturally assumed...
-Oh, please.Studs.
163
00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:55,223
-That's not really a mind
game.
-Hm.
164
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:58,330
No. You gotta be a genius
to be onJeopardy.
165
00:07:58,660 --> 00:07:59,430
I mean, my own cousin
can't get on,
166
00:07:59,466 --> 00:08:03,496
and she finds Waldo
every week.
167
00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:05,380
-I'll bet you could do it.
-No.
168
00:08:05,416 --> 00:08:07,276
I couldn't possibly
find Waldo every week,
169
00:08:07,316 --> 00:08:09,416
especially in
those beach scenes
170
00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:12,470
when he's not
wearing his shirt.
171
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,170
No, no. I meant
getting on
Jeopardy.
172
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,100
Would you like to
try a few
questions?
173
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:19,423
Okay.
174
00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:22,470
Alex, I love your tie.
175
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,660
-What?
-Alex Trebek, dumb-dumb.
176
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,450
I heard that if you flirt
with him,
177
00:08:27,483 --> 00:08:30,423
he locks out the other guys'
buzzers.
178
00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:35,376
Oh, I'm gonna be good
at this.
179
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,346
All right.
180
00:08:39,383 --> 00:08:41,163
Famous monarchs.
181
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,400
Oh, that's easy.
182
00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:46,303
The most famous Monarch
was the '72 Mercury.
183
00:08:50,266 --> 00:08:52,196
More specifically,
184
00:08:52,233 --> 00:08:55,133
the one my ex-boyfriend,
Danny, drove.
185
00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:58,996
And I'm the one that
made it famous.
186
00:09:04,366 --> 00:09:08,326
Moving on. Astronomy.
187
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:11,330
This is the oldest
body
orbiting the sun.
188
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:13,830
What is William Shatner?
189
00:09:21,116 --> 00:09:22,296
Oh, my head.
190
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:26,473
Oh, you know, the same thing
happens to Mr. Sheffield.
191
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,430
Gee, it must be something
in this room.
192
00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:32,826
-Fran.
-Yes?
193
00:09:32,116 --> 00:09:33,996
Would you mind if we picked
this up tomorrow?
194
00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:36,250
Oh, sure, sure. No problem.
195
00:09:36,283 --> 00:09:39,223
There's a set
of steel-belted radials
I've gotta stop payment
on.
196
00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:40,400
Oh, boy.
197
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,250
Bye, Noel. Thank you.
198
00:09:45,283 --> 00:09:48,283
Did Noel leave? Oh, I'm sorry
I missed him.
199
00:09:48,316 --> 00:09:49,446
Well, I miss him too.
200
00:09:49,483 --> 00:09:51,273
It's nice to
have
a man around
201
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,150
who notices my inane
intelligence.
202
00:09:54,183 --> 00:09:56,253
Miss Fine, I noticed that
the first time
203
00:09:56,283 --> 00:10:00,663
you threw a penny in the bidet
and made a wish.
204
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,350
Oh, don't try and get
on
my good side, mister.
205
00:10:03,383 --> 00:10:08,333
For your information,
Noel finds me
stimulating.
206
00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:09,350
Believe me, it's not your mind
207
00:10:09,383 --> 00:10:13,173
that's aroused
his interest.
208
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,330
You know, there is
only one
explanation
209
00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:17,166
for your negativity.
210
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,480
Oh, please, you think
I'm jealous of Noel?
211
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,330
That makes two.
212
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,430
You just don't want me
to reach my full
potential.
213
00:10:27,466 --> 00:10:30,416
You want to keep me
in that kitchen,
barefoot and
pregnant.
214
00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:32,270
You're the one who
wanted to have children.
215
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,330
You wanted to make it
your full-time job.
216
00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:37,116
Oh, God, what am I saying?
217
00:10:38,183 --> 00:10:42,233
Meanwhile, Professor
Noel Babcock, PhD,
218
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:45,096
thinks that I'm smart
enough
to get onJeopardy.
219
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:46,663
How do you like that?
220
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:49,500
-Jeopardy?
- Uh-huh!
221
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,220
Remind me, what night does that
tape? I should leave it open.
222
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:54,330
As a matter of fact, I should
block out the entire week.
223
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,450
They ask the champion back,
you know.
224
00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:00,200
That's right.
225
00:11:00,233 --> 00:11:02,283
And let's hope that
it's not on the same
night
226
00:11:02,316 --> 00:11:05,326
as Clinton's
Renaissance Weekend.
227
00:11:05,366 --> 00:11:10,276
Oh, look, it doesn't matter
because you're not invited.
228
00:11:10,316 --> 00:11:12,296
-Let me see that.
-No.
229
00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:15,123
It could be a
category
onJeopardy.
230
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:17,120
"Member of the Broadway
community
231
00:11:17,150 --> 00:11:20,300
who is invited
to the Renaissance Weekend."
232
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,203
Andrew Lloyd Webber.
233
00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:25,203
[IMITATING BUZZER BUZZING]
Sorry. That is incorrect.
234
00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:27,383
-Really?
-The correct response would be
235
00:11:27,416 --> 00:11:29,996
"Who is Andrew Lloyd Webber?"
236
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,480
Oh, it's no good, Niles.
I can't concentrate.
237
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,350
It's too bloody quiet.
238
00:11:41,383 --> 00:11:42,403
What on earth's missing?
239
00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:45,663
Well, perhaps this will
help,
sir.
240
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:48,330
[MIMICKING FRAN]
"Oh, Mr. Sheffield!"
241
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,000
That's it, Niles.
Miss Fine's not here.
242
00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:55,450
Oh, just trying to fill
your void, sir.
243
00:11:55,483 --> 00:11:57,473
It's obvious you miss her.
244
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,450
I most certainly do not.
245
00:12:00,483 --> 00:12:04,003
I'm just wondering where
she is, what she's doing,
246
00:12:04,330 --> 00:12:06,380
which is entirely different
from missing her.
247
00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:09,450
-What?
-Oh, nothing, sir.
248
00:12:09,483 --> 00:12:13,163
I was just wondering
how you ended up there
249
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,320
and I ended up here.
250
00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:19,476
Seems wrong somehow.
251
00:12:21,416 --> 00:12:23,266
She's probably with Noel.
252
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:26,170
You know, that relationship
doesn't make any sense.
253
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,180
I mean, what on earth
does he want with her?
254
00:12:28,216 --> 00:12:30,116
Sir, is it beyond
your comprehension
255
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,300
that an intelligent man
of the world
256
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:34,663
could find Miss Fine
intellectually stimulating?
257
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,400
No, really, Niles.
258
00:12:36,433 --> 00:12:39,383
Oh, all right. It's a bet.
259
00:12:39,416 --> 00:12:41,996
Miss Babcock's brother
bet her
260
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:44,160
that he could get Miss Fine
onJeopardy.
261
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:47,120
A bet. I knew he had
an ulterior motive.
262
00:12:47,150 --> 00:12:49,420
Now, sir, you're not going to
rub Miss Fine's nose
in this, are you?
263
00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:52,100
-No, of course not.
-[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
264
00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:54,163
Is that her? Ho, ho, ho!
265
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,320
Oh, now, sir.
266
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,130
Oh, hello. Didn't hear you
come in.
267
00:13:02,166 --> 00:13:04,216
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
guess what?
268
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:09,330
I passed the test.
I'm gonna be on
Jeopardy.
269
00:13:10,116 --> 00:13:14,146
[SOBBING]
270
00:13:14,183 --> 00:13:17,183
Would you look at her?
She's so happy for me.
271
00:13:17,216 --> 00:13:22,346
[SOBBING] I paid $200,000
for that stallion.
272
00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:26,660
I hope he paid
for the room.
273
00:13:28,450 --> 00:13:30,350
Fran, I am so proud of you.
274
00:13:30,383 --> 00:13:33,403
Your thirsty mind soaked
up
all that knowledge like
a little sponge.
275
00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:36,233
Now, if you'll excuse
me,
I have to see a man
about a horse.
276
00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:40,096
[LAUGHING]
277
00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:42,223
[SIGHING]
278
00:13:44,233 --> 00:13:45,403
You passed the test?
279
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:47,123
Yes.
280
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:50,220
You see, that is the
difference
between you and Noel.
281
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:53,170
He thinks I'm a sponge.
282
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,330
-Are you through,
Miss Fine, because...
-No.
283
00:13:55,366 --> 00:13:58,116
You know, you're so smart
and powerful,
284
00:13:58,150 --> 00:14:00,450
everybody always listens
to everything you have to say.
285
00:14:00,483 --> 00:14:04,153
-Well, Miss Fine...
-Wait. I'm talking.
286
00:14:04,183 --> 00:14:05,233
We both know
287
00:14:05,266 --> 00:14:07,466
that I'm not as smart
or cultured as you are.
288
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,380
I mean, remember when I first
moved here
289
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:14,266
and you asked me
where was the cabernet,
and what did I say?
290
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,270
Next to Cabin B.
291
00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:22,220
Although I never
did take Spanish.
292
00:14:24,266 --> 00:14:27,226
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
you have no idea
293
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,396
what gaining the respect
from a man like Noel
294
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,323
means to a girl like me.
295
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:34,180
Now, what was it
you wanted to say?
296
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,350
Good luck on
Jeopardy,
Miss Fine.
297
00:14:37,383 --> 00:14:40,183
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Sheffield.
298
00:14:40,216 --> 00:14:41,346
Now I gotta
go call my mother
299
00:14:41,383 --> 00:14:43,333
'cause nobody in my family's
been on a game show
300
00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:46,216
since my cousin, Ira,
wasQueen for a Day.
301
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:48,330
[♪♪♪]
302
00:14:51,383 --> 00:14:54,123
Okay. Questions, kids.
Drill me.
303
00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:56,370
Okay, Fran.
The category is Potpourri.
304
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,380
Things that smell good.
Things you put in a dish.
Things that...
305
00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:01,366
-No, Fran, Fran,
that's the pyramid.
-What is Egypt?
306
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,170
Fran, you're
running
out of time.
307
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,500
I'll solve the puzzle!
308
00:15:05,483 --> 00:15:07,503
Miss Fine...
309
00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:09,500
What is a nanny?
Things that are
single.
310
00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:12,450
Calm down. Calm down.
311
00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:14,333
There are plenty
of other contestants.
312
00:15:14,366 --> 00:15:16,466
They're all backups,
and you don't have to go on.
313
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,830
Are you kidding me?
314
00:15:18,116 --> 00:15:20,246
I already cut the
tags
out of this dress.
315
00:15:20,283 --> 00:15:22,303
I'm definitely going on.
316
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:24,133
-Five minutes.
-Oh, oh, oh.
317
00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:25,996
-Break a leg, Miss Fine.
-Fran, you'll do great.
318
00:15:26,330 --> 00:15:27,350
Fran, you look so beautiful.
319
00:15:27,383 --> 00:15:29,283
Oh, thanks, sweetie.
320
00:15:29,316 --> 00:15:32,346
But, you know, beauty is not
what's important here.
321
00:15:32,383 --> 00:15:35,333
It's brains that count.
322
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,450
Oh, hey, you. I want that
same filter
323
00:15:37,483 --> 00:15:41,163
that they used on Liz
for the White Diamonds
commercial.
324
00:15:44,316 --> 00:15:46,316
Before we continue,
let's recap the scores.
325
00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:49,180
We have Henrietta at $4,600.
326
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:51,266
Stewart next at $4,700,
327
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:57,660
and Fran close behind
at minus $1,300.
328
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:59,420
But, Fran, please,
don't get discouraged.
329
00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:01,150
Oh, I'm fine, Alex.
330
00:16:01,183 --> 00:16:03,163
I'm just getting
my taste buds ready
331
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:07,230
for my year's supply
of Chico-San Rice Cakes.
332
00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:10,166
Good for you.
Stewart, you gave me
the last correct response,
333
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,450
so you have control
of the board.
334
00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:16,453
Thank you, Alex. By the way,
nice tie.
335
00:16:16,483 --> 00:16:20,283
Oh, please. (KISSING)
336
00:16:20,316 --> 00:16:22,216
I'll take Inventors
for $400, please.
337
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:26,830
ALEX: Answer: "The name Thomas
was made famous in 1880
338
00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:29,496
for this
household invention."
339
00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:30,370
Stewart.
340
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,180
What is the light bulb?
341
00:16:32,216 --> 00:16:34,096
No, I'm sorry,
that's incorrect.
342
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:35,183
Henrietta.
343
00:16:35,216 --> 00:16:37,326
What is the phonograph?
344
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:38,450
No. That too, is incorrect.
345
00:16:38,483 --> 00:16:41,833
Fran, would you like to try?
346
00:16:41,116 --> 00:16:42,346
Huh?
347
00:16:42,383 --> 00:16:44,203
"The name Thomas
was made famous
348
00:16:44,233 --> 00:16:47,303
in 1880 for this
household invention."
349
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:51,203
What is the fork-split
English muffin?
350
00:16:52,416 --> 00:16:54,476
That's absolutely right.
351
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:59,003
Come on, people.
352
00:16:59,330 --> 00:17:03,130
In 1875,
Mr. Thomas left England
353
00:17:03,166 --> 00:17:07,266
and closed his shop up for
good
to come to our country.
354
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:10,370
Believe it or not,
you're now in control
of the board.
355
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,100
[EXCLAIMING]
356
00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:17,103
I'll pick food facts
for $200, Alex.
357
00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:19,333
The answer is
a Daily Double.
358
00:17:19,366 --> 00:17:21,446
[BEEPING]
359
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,130
I'll bet $1,000, Alex.
360
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:27,316
Answer:
361
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,170
this East European soup..."
362
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,200
-Fran.
-What is borscht?
363
00:17:34,233 --> 00:17:36,103
You're absolutely right.
Congratulations.
364
00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:38,283
[BEEPING]
365
00:17:38,316 --> 00:17:42,146
ALEX: And that sound
means time now
for our Final Jeopardy.
366
00:17:42,183 --> 00:17:45,223
Here is the Final
Jeopardy answer.
367
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:48,450
"This city was incorporated
into the Roman Empire
368
00:17:48,483 --> 00:17:52,283
in 30 B.C. after the suicide
369
00:17:52,316 --> 00:17:54,326
of Cleopatra."
370
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:55,130
Good luck.
371
00:18:00,150 --> 00:18:04,660
Dropped my earring. Dropped my
earring. Whoa, Nelly.
372
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:06,476
Oh, found it. Found it.
373
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,130
-Found the earring.
-What's going on?
374
00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:13,416
I found the earring.
I found the earring.
375
00:18:27,330 --> 00:18:28,370
All right, contestants,
time's up.
376
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,830
Henrietta, what did you
write down as your question?
377
00:18:32,116 --> 00:18:34,096
"What is Macedonia?"
378
00:18:34,133 --> 00:18:35,223
I'm sorry. That's wrong.
379
00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:38,330
What was your wager?
$4,200.
380
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:41,300
You risked it all,
and that takes you
all the way down to zero.
381
00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:44,283
Enjoy the home game, honey.
382
00:18:44,316 --> 00:18:47,196
Well, now let's go to
Stewart.
His response was...
383
00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:49,323
"What is Cairo?"
384
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:53,170
And, unfortunately,
he too is wrong.
385
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,270
[RAZZING]
386
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:59,500
Your wager, please,
Stewart, was $4,199.
387
00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:02,370
That takes you down to $101.
388
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,830
Still like his
tie,
Stewie?
389
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:07,320
Fran?
390
00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:11,000
Well, my mother and I
were on our way to Israel
on El Al
391
00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:13,400
and who was sitting
next to us but Diana Kind,
392
00:19:13,433 --> 00:19:17,503
a.k.a. Barbra Streisand's
mother, in coach -
393
00:19:17,830 --> 00:19:22,450
they got a lot of unresolved
issues, those two -
394
00:19:22,483 --> 00:19:25,373
on her way to see
the pyramids in Giza.
395
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,280
So your response is Giza.
396
00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:30,426
No, Mr. In-a-Hurry.
397
00:19:30,466 --> 00:19:35,326
But talking about
Streisand and Egypt
398
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,120
reminded me of Omar Sharif,
399
00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:39,220
who according to my
Funny Girl
400
00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:44,330
was not the first actor
cast in the role
of Nicky Arnstein, but...
401
00:19:44,366 --> 00:19:46,326
ALEX: Miss Fine!
402
00:19:46,366 --> 00:19:47,996
"What is Alexandria?"
403
00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:49,150
That's right.
404
00:19:49,183 --> 00:19:51,173
You've doubled
your score to $200.
405
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,320
Fran Fine is the new
Jeopardy
406
00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:55,170
[EXCLAIMING]
407
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,250
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
408
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,130
Hello,Jeopardy.
409
00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:20,176
Yeah. I want to talk to
you
about my Rice-A-Ronis.
410
00:20:20,216 --> 00:20:22,476
Well, according to my
calculations,
411
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,300
I got six Herb & Butter,
412
00:20:25,333 --> 00:20:27,153
six Broccoli Au Gratin,
413
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:31,333
but only five
White Cheddar & Herb.
414
00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:35,270
Now someone over there
ain't so smart.
415
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:38,420
Isn't that ironic?
416
00:20:40,233 --> 00:20:44,283
-Cheer up, Miss Fine.
You won one game.
-Yeah.
417
00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:47,096
And you don't have to be
the returning champion.
418
00:20:47,133 --> 00:20:48,483
I like you
just the way you
are.
419
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,480
Oh, thanks, Mr. Sheffield.
420
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:55,200
But if you ever
saw me just the way I am,
you wouldn't recognize me.
421
00:20:57,660 --> 00:20:58,150
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
422
00:20:58,183 --> 00:20:59,323
Oh.
423
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:01,450
Oh, look who's here.
424
00:21:01,483 --> 00:21:05,173
-Hi, Roger. Hi.
-Hi.
425
00:21:06,183 --> 00:21:08,383
Mr. Sheffield,
426
00:21:08,416 --> 00:21:11,396
you remember Roger Clinton,
the President's brother.
427
00:21:11,433 --> 00:21:14,473
-Of course. Nice to see you.
-Hi. Good to see you again.
428
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,430
Well, it's amazing you
found
the time to drop by,
429
00:21:16,466 --> 00:21:20,156
what with your
brother's job and
all.
430
00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:25,200
Roger is the guy that's
renting
the townhouse next door.
431
00:21:25,233 --> 00:21:28,103
Just till November '96.
432
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,250
Then I'm buying it.
433
00:21:31,283 --> 00:21:33,303
Whoo!
[CHUCKLES]
434
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,223
Listen, I just stopped by
'cause my brother
435
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:36,450
wanted me to give
this to you in person.
436
00:21:36,483 --> 00:21:39,253
[GASPS]
437
00:21:39,283 --> 00:21:41,273
It's an invitation
to the Renaissance Weekend.
438
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:46,160
Oh, now you see,
you did get invited.
439
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,430
It must have just been
a big oversight.
440
00:21:48,466 --> 00:21:53,466
Oh, thanks so much,
Roger.
You are a doll.
441
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,420
Gee, I saw that
gorgeous canopy bed
442
00:21:56,450 --> 00:21:58,480
that they were
delivering
to your townhouse.
443
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,330
It looks just like the
one
in the Lincoln
Bedroom.
444
00:22:01,366 --> 00:22:03,656
Not after I paint it white.
445
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:06,430
[EXCLAIMS]
446
00:22:06,466 --> 00:22:09,246
-He's a riot.
-[CHUCKLES]
447
00:22:09,283 --> 00:22:11,483
Miss Fine, did, uh, did you
have
something to do with this?
448
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,100
Oh, please,
Mr. Sheffield,
449
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:18,453
I can't even get Brighton
to put his dirty underwear
in the hamper,
450
00:22:18,483 --> 00:22:23,503
you think I can influence
the President of
the United States of America?
451
00:22:24,183 --> 00:22:26,273
Meanwhile, I think you should
pick up a corsage.
452
00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:29,160
You're taking out
Janet Reno
tonight.
453
00:22:29,350 --> 00:22:32,470
[♪♪♪]
454
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,450
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
32604
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