All language subtitles for A.Million.Little.Things.S04E03.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Woman: I'm the person
who hit you. I'm so sorry.

Previously on
"A Million Little Things"...

Thanks so much for having us.
I'm Shanice, and this is Kiana.

Mom, she's amazing.

Darcy:
Eddie, this is Russ.

Whoa. You didn't tell me
this guy's in a wheelchair.

I may have to charge extra.

Gary: I, uh,
can relate to the, uh...

OCD-type tendencies.

What would you want to say
to the man who assaulted you?

And I think everyone should know
your name.

It's Peter Benoit.

Saunders: If I thought
we could get a conviction,

it would be different.

But I am worried about having
enough evidence in this case.

You were pretty upset
the other day at the station.

Next day,
this guy's in the hospital.

Eventually,
he's gonna wake up,

and when he does, he can tell us
himself what happened.

And if he doesn't
wake up,

that just makes things
a lot more complicated.

♪♪

♪♪

Anna:
No. When I found him there,

I barely even recognized him.

I mean, it was really bad.

♪♪

The doctors say that we won't
know anything for a while.

But I really appreciate you
checking in on me, Mara.

I will. Bye.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

[ Knock on door ]

Mrs. Benoit?
Yes.

Craig Saunders
with the Brookline PD?

I'm sorry to bother you,
but I have a few more questions.

Yes, of course.

Thank you. Um, did you
notice anything unusual

in the weeks leading up
to your husband's attack?

What do you mean?

Just trying to cover
all the bases.

But there were no signs
of forced entry,

which gives us
reason to believe

that your husband
might have known his assailant.

No, that doesn't
make any sense.

No one that knows Peter
would want to hurt him.

You've never heard of any
students being upset with him?

Of course not.

Peter is
an incredible teacher.

I mean, his students, they --

they love him.

He has changed
so many lives.

I'm sure.

But just take a minute
and think about it for me.

Anything
out of the ordinary?

Um...

I mean, I-I didn't think
anything of it at the time,

but a few weeks ago, when I came
home late for choir practice,

there -- there was a man
sitting in his car

parked outside
of our house.

Can you remember any details
about the man?

What his car looked like?

Uh, it was an S.U.V.

Gray, I think.

Dark gray.

Oh, and he had a beard.

If any of that is helpful.

I think it might be.

[ Cellphone buzzes ]

Hey. What's up?

Hey, pretty lady.
Whatcha doing tonight?

Working, probably.
Let me check with my people.

Alexa, what's on
my schedule tonight?

Alexa:
Katherine, there's nothing

on your schedule for tonight.

Wow. She said that with
a little bit of judgment.

[ Chuckles ]
That's because she doesn't know

you're coming to Maggie's.

We have a surprise for you.

Gina, you know
I don't like surprises.

Okay, okay,
I'll tell you,

but you have to promise
to act surprised.

We're throwing you
a divorce party.

[ Squeals ]Divorce party.

Is celebrating a failed marriage
really a thing?

Honey, 12 years of marriage
is not a failure.

That was an important
chapter of your life.

And now that you are
starting a new one,

we want to be there
to support you.

And if we happen
to have some drinks

and go out to a bar and meet
some cute men in the process,

so be it.

That's so thoughtful,
but really --

Nope, not taking no
for an answer.

Starts at 7:00.

[ Sighs ]

Alexa,
add to my schedule --

"Divorce party,
7:00 P.M. tonight."

Divorce party added
to your schedule.

Divorce party! Whoo-whoo!

They're having a divorce party.
That's pretty cold.

Look, I get the excitement.
I went to one of those things.

Hooked up with
the guest of honor

in a Buffalo Wild Wings
storage closet.

Luckily, she had
plenty of Wet-Naps

to clean up my hot sau--

Nope. No. No.

Check swing. Self-correcting.
I'm a gentleman.

Dude, what's gonna happen
when Ed finds out

that Katherine's taking
a victory lap for leaving him?

♪♪

[ Peter grunting ]

Get off!Gary: Shut up!

Get off!
Get off of me!

Help!

Help me! Somebody!Rome: Mendez, you still there?

I'm worried about Ed, bro.

Yeah. Yeah, man.

Yeah, I'm here.
Uh, it's a good point.

I know I can't afford to send
him back to rehab, so, uh,

we're not gonna
let him find out, okay?

Luckily, we got the Bruins game
to distract him.

Yes! Last game we get to watch
at your place.

It's the end of an era.
So what I've done is,

I've gotten us some Slim Jims,
some foot-longs,

hot pretzels which may or
may not be from last season,

just like the Garden.

As long as nobody
pees in my sink.

I believe it was you
who did that.

Yeah, but that was before
I learned how to self-correct.

Hockey, baby!

Eddie:
The way she was looking at me,

I figured it had to be
the woman who hit me.

And it turns out she was
just a fan of my band.

Whoa, wait.
You were in a band?

Is that the same band

you mention like five times
every session?

[ Chuckles ]

I know
she works at Halpert's.

It's only a matter of time
before I find her.

And when you do,
what are you gonna say?

That she ruined my life.

That I threw away
11 years of sobriety

because of what she did.

Then what?

That my marriage imploded,

and my poor son
has to shuttle between houses.

I barely get to see him.

Then what?

Dude, what do you
want from me?

I just want to know
what you're gonna say

that's going to
reverse everything

and magically get you
out of that chair.

Believe me,
I get your anger.

After I fell off that ladder,
oh, I was mad at everybody.

The E.R. doctor who told me my
pain would only last a few days.

My girlfriend for never
turning off that damn light.

But ultimately,

I realized I couldn't
keep living "B.C."

"B.C."?

Before Chair.

You have every right
to be pissed off.

But obsessing about it like this
is keeping you in the past.

I mean, that and your obsession
with Axe body spray.

Let's go, stinky.

Time to get beat
by a quadriplegic.

Again!

♪♪

[ Maggie and Sophie grunting ]

Maggie: You get it?Uh, nope. Little higher.

I knew I should have
asked Theo to help me.

Oh, wow.
Short jokes, seriously?

You clearly lived with Gary
for too long.

Oh --

Ooh.[ Both laugh ]

Ah, there we go.

[ Both sigh ]

♪♪

I'm surprised you
didn't ask your friend
Tennille to help you.

From what I recall,
she's pretty tall.

[ Chuckles ] Yeah.

But I think
she's pretty busy

getting ready
to go off to college.

And you've been feeling
a little left out?

Well, I...

saw these IG posts
last night

where bunch of kids
from my class

were at this huge party.

Maybe they just forgot
to invite me, or...

you know, maybe they thought
it'd be difficult

to let loose around me
after everything that happened.

But I can still be fun
at a party.

Yeah, of course you can.

Which is why
you are coming with me

to Katherine's
divorce party tonight.

Ooh.
[ Chuckles ] That --

I don't know. That kind of seems
like an old person thing.

Wow.

Okay, so I'm short
andI'm old?

Now you're definitely
coming with me.

I have a TikTok,
so you know.

But you shouldn't,
so you know.

Hey.

I am telling your mom.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Fan whirring ]

Darcy: You guys
are gonna have so much fun.

Now, be good, okay?Yeah.

What is --Whoa, there he is!

Welcome to hockey night,
my young friend.

Looks like a tornado
came through here.

Yeah, a tornado
from 1995.

I hope Hootie and his Blowfish
are okay.

Ha! Heh. Theo's in the back
with his dad,

speaking of relics
from the '90s.

Go announce your presence,
with authority!

Hello, chaos.

Believe it or not, I have
a very organized system, okay?

Dump. Donate.

Definitely going to Lenox.

Tell you what, toss that nasty
thing in that donate box,

and I'll drop everything off
on my way across town.

Deal.

But only because I know
that thanks to my donation,

someone, somewhere will soon
know the joys of the sack.

Boom. Sacked it.

I'd literally do anything

to stop you from saying
the word "sack."

No can do. Sorry.

It's boys' night here.

Coming up with cool names
for our junk

is kind of our whole thing.

Sounds fun, but not as fun
as our divorce party.

Shh, shh. Okay.
Alright. I, uh --

I don't know
if Ed is ready to hear

how Katherine
got her groove back.

Ah. I get that.

After Steven and I separated
and I started dating again,

he was over
grabbing the last of his stuff,

and he found some condoms
in a drawer,

and he was
super uncomfortable.

Eh, more or less uncomfortable
than I am right now

just hearing about it?

Oh, fair enough.

I will take care of Katherine,
and you take care of Eddie.

And if we all survive,
I'll meet you back here tonight.

Mm.

♪ I wanna go dancing
all night ♪

Okay.

Is that centered?Um, yep.

Okay! It's 7:00!
You know Katherine.

She's always on time.
Quiet. Quiet. Quiet.

Nobody's talking
except you.

Right.

[ Knock on door ][ All gasp ]

-Ooh. Okay. Okay.
-She's here. Okay.

Come in!

[ All chuckling ]

Surprise!Surprise!

Wow!

What in the world
is going on?

What are you guys
all up to?

You told her.

-I told her.
-Gina!

[ All sighing ]

I am dressed all wrong
for this, aren't I?

Hey, it's not your fault.
Regina should have told you

to come ready to go to the bar,
not pass the bar.

[ Laughter ]It's fine.
I have a ton of tops

if you want something
a little less "Rizzoli & Isles."

[ Laughter ]Regina: Wow,
we roasting now?

I think she looks great.

And after one of my margaritas,
you will, too.

That is, if you can think
at all.

-Oh.
-Ooh.

Ooh.

Yes, please.[ Chuckles ]

For you.
Oh.

Okay, well, this is gonna be
better than I thought.Mm-hmm.

Thanks, Gina.Of course, girl!

I always make
unlimited virgin margaritas

for our designated driver.

Surprise.[ Door opens ]

Surprise?
Am I too late?

Shanice! No one told me
you were gonna come.

I have been locked in a hotel
room with an 11-year-old

every night for
two weeks straight.

There's no way
I was missing this.

[ Laughter ]

Uh, you know what, Maggie?

I think maybe I should get into
something a little more fun.

[ Gasps ] Yes.Yes, right this way.

Are we doing cleavage
or backless?

I'll get my boob tape.[ Laughter ]

Bob: Up next,
your Bruins face off against

the Pittsburgh Penguins.Eddie:
Whoo! Here we go. Here we go!

Okay, I'd like to propose
a toast, gentlemen.

Tonight, we initiate
two new members

into our brotherhood
of Bruins fans...

Hear, hear!...which started 12 years ago

with our friend Jon.

Mm.

And as we say goodbye
to this fine venue --

Hello from Boston.Nope, down in front.

Alright, let's go, B's!Here we go.

Yeah,
I can drink to that!

Alright, fellas, come on.

Root beers up.

Hey. Hey, there, Theo.

Phone down, root beer up.

-Sorry.
-Come on, kid.

He was just
texting Kiana.

Ooh. Who is Kiana?

Oh, wait, wait,
Shanice's daughter?

Wait a minute, does my little
man have his first crush?

No. I-I-I don't.

Alright, so,
it's Theo and Kiana?

That means we got
"Thiana" or "Kio."

Kio.Oh, you sound like
a cute, little car.

Stop it![ Men chuckle ]

T, it's okay,
we've all been there.

We know what it's like.Yeah.

I don't want
to talk about it!

Oh, come on.

T, come on!

Rome:
Hey, Theo, come back.

Bob: You don't pay
unless they get you paid.

[ Speaking indistinctly ]Alright, okay.

Still three of us.
That's not bad.

Whoa, you ain't got
no Bruins gear, bro?

Kiddo,
you got to represent!

Put that on, bro.

[ Gasps ] Ooh.[ Gary sighs ]

I'm gonna take it.Yeah.

Got it. There it is.

And why don't you just
go wash your hands?

Yeah. Thank you.

You'll be all right.

What did I do?

He gonna be okay?

He's kind of got
a thing with germs.

But come on, dude.
No one wants to wear

your nasty, old sweatshirt.

You got over a decade of B.O.
baked into that thing.

Come on, bro,
you should talk, man.

That hat you wear?
Shoot.

The sweat stains have
sweat stains. [ Chuckles ]

I can't believe I was about to
watch a game

without my lucky hat.

Man, where you going?

No, I-I had it on earlier.

Mendez, get back here!Eh.

You about to miss the opening
face-off, bro. You --

[ Muttering ]
Maybe it's in my room.

[ Stadium horn sounds ]

Bob: ...tension that is
in the air tonight.

Brotherhood of one.

Can you feel the energy?!

[ Indistinct conversations,
telephone rings in distance ]

[ Classical piano
music playing ]

You know what, honey?
I'm a little tired of Chopin.

Why don't we switch it up?

[ Cellphone chimes ]

[ Music stops ]

What is this?

Maggie: To the listeners
of "Living Bloom,"

tonight's podcast includes
explicit details

of a real-life sexual assault.

Some of what you're about
to hear could be upsetting.

Listener discretion is advised.

So if I haven't done it,
I drink?

Oh, no, no, no.
You drink if you havedone it.

♪ Burning through these bottles
like you wouldn't believe ♪

Or so I'm told.

Wow. Good save.

Alright. Darcy,
you're up first.

Never have I ever...

smoked pot.

-Ah, yeah.
-I've done that.

Alright, this
feels like a trap.

Nope.

You are an adult
in the eyes of the law.

There's no judgment here.

♪ But lately,
it's been hard to love you ♪

Sophie Abigail Dixon!Wha--

I'm just
messing with you, girl.

[ Laughter ]

Okay, but, Katherine,
how is it

that you were married to
a rock star and never tried pot?

I was always too worried
about failing a drug test.

Oh, in case you were
at one of Eddie's concerts

and they needed
to quickly appoint you

Supreme Court justice?

[ Laughter ]

Okay, fine.

My turn.

Never have I ever...

dated Gary.

-Hmm.
-[ Chuckles ]

-Okay.
-Oh, fine.

-[ Scoffs ]
-Okay.

-[ Chuckles ]
-Hold up.

You all dated the same guy?

-Mm-hmm.
-Mnh-mnh.

I only had
one date with him.Mm.

But I see
how we playing this now.

[ Laughter ]

Never have I ever
kissed a girl.

Oh, I told you that
in confidence.

[ Laughing ] No,

you told
the entire karaoke bar

before you sang
"I Kissed a Girl."

[ Laughter ]Yeah, and then I told

all 50 of you
not to tell anyone.

[ Laughter ]

Come on, Shanice.
Drink up.

What?

You kissed
Jennifer Aniston.

In that movie.
You know, in the funeral scene?

-Oh.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right up against
the casket.

Busted!

[ Laughter ]Wow.

Eddie:
I'm really sorry, T.

I got a little carried away
out there.

Huh? Why didn't you tell me
about Kiana?

It's embarrassing.

I get it.
I felt the same way

about Carolyn Blasiole.

We were in the 6th grade.

We were about to go on our
class trip to Washington, D.C.

I was gonna make my big move
at the Lincoln Memorial.

As one does.

But before we went,

I made the mistake
of telling my dad about it.

He started singing
this terrible song.

"Eddie and Carolyn,
sittin' in a tree."

[ Chuckles ]

Point is, by the time
we got to the Lincoln Memorial,

I chickened out.

Carolyn ended up
with Kevin Cramer,

sittin' in a tree.

K-I-S-S-I-N-G?

'Fraid so.

And I never told my dad
about a crush I had ever again.

And I don't
want that for us.

I want to tell her
I like her,

but I'm really nervous,
because I have to do it tonight.

Why tonight?

She's going back to L.A.
tomorrow to visit her dad,

and I might never
see her again.

Oh, man. Okay, yeah.
You have to do something.

And you are in luck,

'cause you happen to have
a great wingman

who knows
exactly what to do.

It is called
the grand gesture.

I'm listening.

Okay.
Top you off?

Yes, please.

Gotta enjoy this buzz
while I can.

Yes, you do, lady.

You doing
one of those fancy cleanses?

I did one of those
for like 90 minutes once.

Felt great.
[ Chuckles ]

Oh, no. I, um...

Uh, once we get settled
in Lenox,

Gary and I are gonna
start trying...

You know.Oh. Oh, yeah. Wow. Sure.

Oh, that's
so great, Darcy.

Thank you.
Yeah.

Ah, shoot.
We are actually all out of ice.

Uh, Maggie, can you
go on an ice run with me?

Yes! Yes, I can.

I am all about the ice.
Even froze my eggs.

I'm kidding.
I mean, I did do that.

Should we go?
Yes.

♪♪

Bob: So, the first period ends
with the score

Penguins, 1,
Bruins, nothing.

Greg: Again, it comes back
to what we talked about...Sorry I freaked out before.

Oh, that? Nah.
That was nothing.

But you will see
a full Category 5 freak-out

if we don't find my hat.

Well, it's not in
any of these boxes.

Would you, uh --

Would you mind
checking my bedroom again?

Sure.

Uh, except the top shelf
in the closet!

There's nothing
to see there.

Especially not in the box
labeled "Taxes."

Okay. 1-nothing at the end
of the first period.

Not that anyone cares.

Sorry, man.
Young love takes precedence.

Oh, Uncle Rome, did you ever
make a grand gesture

to impress a girl?

Yeah. Yeah.
One time in high school,

for this girl
named Dana Lohman.

She had a thing for rappers.
[ Chuckles ]

So you wrote a rap
for her?

[ Chuckling ]
No. No.

I became Atomic Rom,

complete with a velour
Adidas track suit.

ThenI wrote
a rap for her.

See, the key is, you got to play
into your strengths, right?

So, like,
what are you good at?

Aside from looking so fly.

Well, when we went
to the protest,

everyone seemed to
like my posters.

Great idea.
Put it in print.

I'm gonna go get
my art supplies.

Bob:
Halftime with Penguins 1...

Posters, huh?

I guess that's better
than a rap.

Or a clap with a snap.

[ Rapping ] ♪ Or better yet,
a dap, can I get a what-what? ♪

♪ Dana Lohman in the house,
sayin', "Rap to me, Rome ♪

♪ Rap-rap to me, Rome"

I don't like you.[ Laughs ]

But sadly, that was better
than the one I did for Dana,

who laughed in my face.

What if the same thing
happens to Theo?

Now, that's a good point,
Atomic Rom.

What if the grand gesture
doesn't land?

We're looking at, what,
Theo being emo

for the next seven years,
listening to Morrissey,

shopping exclusively
at Hot Topic?

I mean, is that really
worth it, Ed?

Actually, it is.

Somehow, Theo still
believes in love,

even after watching
Katherine and me split.

That's why I gotta help him.

[ Cellphone clicking ]What are you doing?

Calling Katherine
to see if she can give me

Kiana's hotel
and room number.

Nah, man. You don't --
You don't want to do that.

Why not?Katherine's busy tonight.

Yeah, Katherine
works every night.

That doesn't mean
she can't pick up the phone.

Katherine's not
working tonight, Ed.

Chance for a penalty shot.

Guys,
what -- what's going on?

[ Crowd cheering ]

[ Sirens wailing in distance ]

Hey. Thank you
for getting me out of there.

You're really good at this
"being there for people" stuff.

Yeah, well,
I learned from the best.

Aww.
Gary.

[ Chuckles ]
Dang, girl.

[ Chuckles ]

Blame
the virgin margaritas.

Oh, my God.

Huh? What is it?

That's Peter's wife.

♪♪

Uh, Anna.

Hi. I, uh...

I heard about
what happened with Peter.

And I'm...

s-sorry for
what you're going through.

Are you?

How dare you
lie about my husband

when he's in a coma

and can't even
defend himself.

[ Shakily ]
I wasn't lying.

He's a good man.

And all he ever did
was try to help you.

And that's
how you thank him?

By trying to ruin him?

You're lucky
that I don't sue you

for what you said.Hey, okay. Come on.

But did you even
listen to it?

Oh, I listened to enough.

I didn't need to hear
any more lies.

I know my husband.

And he would never
do anything like that --

Yeah, but he did.

Your husband groomed me,
gained my trust, just --

God, I mean,
just so he could get off.

[ Sighs ]Putting that podcast out there

and knowing
that my family and friends

were all going to hear it
was one of the hardest things

I've ever had to do.

But I did it.

Because it's the truth.

♪♪

You okay, man?I mean, just found out

my ex-wife is celebrating
her independence from me

like it's the Fourth of July.
What do you think?

I think I've got some sparklers
around here somewhere,

if that'll help.You know what the worst part
about it is?

It's that my best friends

didn't think I could handle
hearing about it.

Am -- Am I really
that pathetic?

Not now.

Ed.
You are not pathetic.

We're your boys.
We're just looking out for you.

You absolutely should.

I mean, I...

need someone
to give me a place to live.

I need someone
to pay for my rehab.

I need you guys

to spend your hockey nights
drinking root beer.

Yeah. I noticed that.

Dad, we got a problem!

I'm all out of glitter.

Well, then,

we better
get to the store.

Theo: Really?Oh, yeah.

Great! Let's go.

Do you want us
to come with you?

The thing is, I don't.

[ Man speaking
indistinctly on TV ]

Oh, no. Craft World
closes in five minutes.

What are we gonna do?

It's okay. We're not
going to Craft World.

We're going to Halpert's.

[ Laughter ] ♪ Sipping sangria, sangria

-Mm-hmm.
-What?

Shanice, did you have a divorce
party after your split?

-Right?
-No.

But I did take my friends
to Cabo for a week

to celebrate
my massive weight loss.

210 pounds that forgot
our anniversary twice.

Ah. You know --

Hardest thing I've ever done,
but so worth it.

The best thing to do
is just rip the Band-Aid off

and get right back out there.

I -- Maybe --
Maybe you're right.

I mean [Chuckles]
I am on this app that --

Wait, what?Yeah, Carter put me on it.

You have like
a million likes on this thing.

Let's see what people are saying
about Katherine S.

[ Laughter ]Yeah.

Okay, maybe not -- No, no.
Not right now.

Wait, wait, wait. What we should
do is just go ahead and invite

one of these 50 guys
to meet us at the bar.

Mm-hmm. That's a great idea.Right?

Yes.I really don't --

That's a cutie, right there.Right? Not bad.

Yeah.Okay, she should say,

"I'm gonna make a complaint
to Spotify,

because, clearly, you've
been robbed of the title

Hottest Single."[ Laughs ]

Guys --That's so fun. That's fun.

She should say, "I'm learning
important dates in history.

Want to be one of them?"

Good one!No! Okay? Just stop.

Just -- Just...

stop.

♪ We live different round here,
sipping sangria ♪

♪ Sangria, the way

Bob: Bruins and the Pens
tied at 2.

Come on, boys.
You got this.

Greg: ...highs and lows
from the Bruins.

Passing was crisp,
and that slapshot from Andre?

Wow. Look out.

Bruh, can you let it go?

This our last time
to watch the Bruins

before you move,
so why don't you come over here

and sit down, watch the game
with your friend,

and forget about
your stupid hat?

It doesn't bring you luck.

Doesn't even
look good on you.

It's not just the hat.

It's that Jon
gave me the hat.

When I was
going through chemo,

after I had lost my hair,

and these very, very sexy brows
were gone.

He was just trying to make me
feel comfortable, you know?

Said if I was going to go,

I was going to go
in a Bruins hat.

"At least God will know
that you have good taste."

I know it's not logical.
I just --

I get this thought stuck
in my head sometimes

that the only reason
I'm still here

is because of
that stupid hat.

Bob: Third period
is about to start.

Okay. Alright. Down to center ice.

Let's find your ugly hat.

Where have you looked?

Everywhere, literally.

Including the box
labeled "Taxes."

I should just
throw that stuff out

or get a working
DVD player.

Look, it's got to be here
somewhere, right?

Couldn't just
up and walk out of your house.

I'm telling you, dude,

nothing has
left this place today.

Except that box of stuff
Darcy took to donate.

♪♪

Hey, yo, Liam! Grab
a jerky stick and hit the head.

Boys' night's
going on the road.

I got the sticks!

Let's go!

♪♪

[ Clears throat ]

♪ Don't pray to God,
I pray to you ♪

I come in peace.

With drink.

[ Door shuts ]

[ Muffled music
continues playing ]

You want to talk about --

Me being
an insane person?

You are not insane.

You're just...divorced.

Welcome to the club.

[ Sighs ]

It's all the -- it's all
the shoulds, you know?

You shouldhave
a divorce party.

You should be ready
to date again.

I've been playing that game
my entire life.

You know,
starting with my parents --

You should get
perfect grades.

You should go to
the best college.

I swear, I want to tear
that word out of the dictionary.

Believe me, I get it.

Can I, um --

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

How long
after your divorce

until you were ready
to go out with a guy again?

Three months.

But you are allowed to do things
at your own pace.

You are the only one
who'll know when you are ready.

Thank you.

Hurry up, Dad.
They close in 10 minutes.

Whoa.
This place is huge.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

How about we split up?

Great idea.

♪♪

Woman: [ Over P.A. ]
Attention, Halpert's shoppers.

The store will be closing soon.

Please bring your items
to the register.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

I want to
ask you something.

♪♪

Dad, did you find it?

♪♪

♪♪

What aisle
for the glitter?

Um...

Aisle 7.

It's next to the glue.

♪♪

Let's go.

♪♪

Okay, I texted Gina

and told them
to keep going without us.

[ Gasps ]

Yes.
Yeah.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ] Well,

I guess my friends
were right.

I really can't
have fun at a party.

Yeah, I just --
I-I keep trying

to move past
everything to do with Peter,

and it somehow keeps
catching up to me again.

I just -- I feel like
I can't escape it, and...

it sucks.

Getting over
something like this

is never gonna be
a straight line.

It's gonna ebb and flow.

But you will be okay.

I promise.

Thanks.
Mm-hmm.

Alright.

Never have I ever...

run into the wife
of the man who assaulted me

in front of a convenience store
while on an ice run.

[ Sighs ] Um...
Hmm.

Uh, never have I ever...

pretended to be happy

for my ex-boyfriend's
new girlfriend when she tells me

she's going to start trying
to get pregnant very, very soon.

Maybe even trying right now.

Hmm.

Oh, my lie felt bigger.

[ Both laugh ]

Okay.
Never have I ever

said thank you.

To you.

For never questioning
what happened to me

from the first moment
I told you.

Very lucky to have you
in my life.

♪♪

Cheers.
Cheers.

Bro, where you taking us?Right here. Right here.

This is where Darcy said
she dropped my stuff.

No. No! No!

Damn.

Okay, okay.
We'll just come back tomorrow.

What if it's
not here tomorrow?

Oh, right. I forgot

about the hordes of people
who go Dumpster-diving

for moldy Bruins hats
at 3:00 in the morning.

Now is not the time
for negativity, Rome.

You are the king
of negativity!

No, I am
the king of sarcasm.

It is that subtle difference
that wins over the hearts --

Whoa, whoa! Kid,
you don't want to go in there.

I mean, you thought
Rome's jersey was bad --

I need to get your hat.Oh, this is ridiculous.

I'm going in there.
Yep. Okay.

What are you doing?

Gary: Ah, dude!Dude, give me a boost.

Give me a boost, please.I'm not --

Ow. Okay, I'm losing my grip.Liam, seriously, man!

Ooh!Let's get out of here

before Spider-Man
breaks a hip, okay?Ow.

We'll come back tomorrow.

No. No, I want to try.

It's okay.

Are you sure?

[ Grunts ] Yeah.

[ Door thumps ]

You always got my back.

Now I've got yours.

♪♪

Care...ful.

♪♪

It says
no mattresses, no TVs.

Doesn't say anything
about donating children.

♪♪

Um, honey,
we're so sorry.

Yeah, you -- you kept trying
to tell us and we didn't listen.

No, I'm the one who's sorry
for snapping like that.

I love you guys
for planning all this.

And you areright.

I do need to celebrate
this new chapter.

But I need to do it
in the way that I want to,

not the way that other people
think I should,

even if those people
are my best friends.

Whatever you want
sounds perfect to us.

Well, I thought about that,
and what I want to do

is kick your butts
at Flip Cup.

[ Laughs ]
Well, I'm game.

A little scared, but game.[ Giggling ]

I'll get the cups.

[ Rattling ]

Hey, kid,
how you doing in there?

Liam?

Liam: I found the box!

You did?Yeah, but...

it's not in here.

What?

Your hat,
i-it's not in the box.

I-I took everything out.

[ Sighs ]
I'm really sorry.

No, no, don't be sorry.

Are you kidding me?
That was amazing.

Besides, it's just a --
It's a stupid, old hat.

[ Strained chuckle ]

Maybe I...

just have to face the fact
that things are changing.

Maybe we all do, man.

Liam:
[ Sighs ] I'm sorry.

No, no, no. I got something
way better than a hat tonight.

I got a kid willing to set aside
his own fears

so that he could be there for me
no matter what.

I love you, little man.

♪♪

Bring it in.

♪♪

You know, I did get one thing
when I was in that Dumpster.

Hepatitis?

[ Gasps ]

The sack.

The sack is back.Oh, man.

The sack is back.

Stop saying "sack."Liam, am I wrong,

or is the sack back?

The sack is back.Ha, ha, ha!

♪♪

So, let me
get this straight.

Your friends
are leaving in an Uber,

and you're doing the dishes
at someone else's house?

Thought you weren't doing
"shoulds" anymore.

I'm not.

Doing dishes is my jam.

An overly competitive,
dish-washing, Flip Cup champion?

[ Chuckles ]You have many layers.

Hey, thanks for
listening to me earlier.

It really helps
to talk to someone

who's been through
the same thing.

I wasn't totally honest
with you before.

It wasn't a guy that I dated
right after my divorce.

It was a woman.

I don't share that
with everyone,

which is why I didn't drink
during "Never Have I Ever."

But I feel like
I can trust you.

Of course you can.

Do you keep it a secret
because of your career?

Partly.

But the truth
is way less exciting.

It's my parents.

They would not understand,

and they're at
that stage of life

where it just isn't
worth messing with.

Oh, are you kidding me? I mean,
my mom doesn't even like it

when I wear pants.

[ Both chuckle ]

[ Laughs ]

It's not thatfunny,
is it?

You have suds
on your face.

I was talking this whole time
with suds on my face?

[ Laughs ] Here.Where?

♪♪

Okay, I think --
I think that's everything.

Um, I-I got to call Theo
in a couple minutes

to say good night.

Yeah, and if I leave now,

I can probably still
tuck Kiana in.

This was really fun.

I've always
used a dishwasher.

Or someone has.

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

Bob: Try to rebound
from tonight's loss --

Bruins lost.
I don't have my hat.

Coincidence?
I think not.

Hey, sorry about overreacting
about the game.

Ah.

No, it's just --
it's tough, you know,

the thought that there are

gonna be less nights
like tonight.

You know,
I'mma miss you, man.

Now, of course, there's some
things I'm gonna be cool
without, too, right?

Like putting kids
in Dumpsters,

starting fist fights
with white supremacists.

One time.
I punched a racist one time --

Don't say for me.For you.

[ Both laugh ]

[ Sighs ]

You know,
until two years ago,

my longest romantic
relationship

was with a poster
of Kathy Ireland.

[ Chuckles ]

And now...

I've got Darcy and Liam.

And sometimes, I, uh...

I feel like I don't
deserve any of it.

Of course you deserve it.

♪♪

And seeing you tonight
with Liam was...

♪♪

You're gonna be an amazing dad,
Gary Mendez.

And even if
you did lose that hat,

I know
Jon would think so, too.

♪♪

Thanks, man.

♪♪

Now, can you do it
as a rap?

Still don't like you.

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

On my mark, okay?

Eddie:
Okay, speaker's ready.

[ Exhales shakily ]

[ Knock on door ]

Theo?
What are you doing here?

[ Through speaker ]
♪ Where am I supposed to be?♪

♪ Washed up, pushed out
or on my feet♪

♪ Tell me, is this a dream or
am I stuck in a movie scene? ♪

[ Chuckles ]♪ Daily, lately

♪ I'm spinning away so crazy,
so, baby, just take me ♪

♪ I think I'm caught up
in the way I feel 'bout you ♪

♪ I don't know how I can be
so drawn into you ♪

♪ I think I'm fallin' in deep

♪ I think I'm caught up
in the wave of you ♪

[ Paint cracking ]♪ Of you, mm

♪ Oh, upside-down

[ Inhales deeply ]♪ I'm tip-toein' undersea

Eddie:
[ Whispering ] You got this.

I --

I really like you.

I really like you, too.

♪ Caught up in the way
I feel 'bout you ♪

Okay, bye.
Bye.

♪ I don't know how I can be
so drawn into you ♪

[ Eddie laughs ]

You crushed it, kiddo!
You crushed it.

Of course I did.
I had a great wingman.

Ah, you might
have a point there.

But it was all you.

[ Grunting ] Okay.

Yes!Okay. Be cool. Be cool.

♪♪

You got my germophobe son
to go Dumpster diving?

Yeah.
Yeah, this whole time,

I thought the parenting thing
was all about giving,

but now I see
it's also about taking.

Mm.
Which is great.

That's actually my favorite part
of relationships.

Well, whatever you're doing,
you are doing it right.

Mm.

Hey.

You didn't happen to see
my old, gross Bruins hat

in that box of stuff
you took to donate, did you?

No, sorry.
But you know what wasin there?

Ta-da.
What?

Your favorite hoodie.Whoa.

It must have gotten in there
by accident.

I know how much
you love this thing.

Oh, no.
Oh, there's a rip.

Yeah.
I was, uh, playing this game,

this very cool game
that I made up, uh, with Colin

called WrestleMania 4.

I lost, pretty badly.
[ Clears throat ]

Oh.
Yeah.

I'm gonna go
say good night to Liam

and remind him to knock

before he comes in here,

just in case we get a head-start
on the baby-making.

[ Laughs ]
Huh?

[ Both chuckle ]

♪♪

Theo: ♪ Kiana and Theo

♪ Sitting in a tree ♪ Sittin' in a tree

♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Not if you don't
go brush your teeth.

One whiff of that breath,

all the poster board
in the world won't save you.

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

[ Cellphone beeps ]

What do you want?

My name is Nicole.

I-I want to tell you
what happened that night.

♪♪

[ Monitor beeping ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Exhales shakily ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪