Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,154
What are y'all doing? Get back!
2
00:00:03,154 --> 00:00:06,001
Please somebody help me!
3
00:00:06,001 --> 00:00:08,001
*Kourtney screams*
4
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:15,222
Does this look even to you?
5
00:00:17,357 --> 00:00:22,427
I know it looks horrible.
6
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,062
You don't have to be so rude about it.
7
00:00:29,721 --> 00:00:31,721
*doorbell rings*
8
00:00:31,996 --> 00:00:33,996
Mom, door!
9
00:00:35,630 --> 00:00:37,630
*mother screaming*
10
00:00:38,207 --> 00:00:40,207
Can't even get five seconds to myself.
11
00:00:40,794 --> 00:00:44,627
Mom, 8 to 4 are designated beauty hours!
12
00:00:44,684 --> 00:00:51,887
Which means no talking, no TV, no Facebook group messages, and absolutely no screaming.
13
00:00:51,887 --> 00:00:53,887
Trying to get more attention than me.
14
00:00:54,826 --> 00:00:56,826
*mother screams*
15
00:01:01,272 --> 00:01:03,272
Thank you.
16
00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:08,570
Keep the change.
17
00:01:26,659 --> 00:01:29,605
The definition of perfection.
18
00:01:32,944 --> 00:01:34,944
*phone beeps*
19
00:01:38,784 --> 00:01:40,784
Ooh, Chad just snapped me.
20
00:01:50,519 --> 00:01:52,519
Wait, no WiFi?
21
00:01:53,063 --> 00:01:55,063
No, no, no, no.
22
00:01:55,063 --> 00:02:01,675
Mikey, get off of Fornite. There are more important things than a stupid video game.
23
00:02:01,675 --> 00:02:06,691
Like me, Gucci, and hooking up over Snapchat.
24
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:11,056
Ew, like why do you smell so bad?
25
00:02:11,056 --> 00:02:19,737
Look, I know you're in that phase where it's either too much axe body spray or straight BO, but straight BO doesn't work for anyone.
26
00:02:19,737 --> 00:02:23,452
So go take a shower and use some Old Spice.
27
00:02:24,189 --> 00:02:26,189
*zombie groans*
28
00:02:26,973 --> 00:02:30,274
Get out and take a shower!
29
00:02:31,297 --> 00:02:33,297
Puberty has ruined him.
30
00:02:33,828 --> 00:02:35,828
It's only the tenth.
31
00:02:35,828 --> 00:02:40,000
Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and Pokemon Go use data fast.
32
00:02:40,614 --> 00:02:44,683
I knew I shouldn't have gone after that 6th Magikarp.
33
00:02:46,883 --> 00:02:48,883
This is an emergency.
34
00:02:49,642 --> 00:02:51,642
Mom will understand.
35
00:02:52,260 --> 00:03:00,754
And if not, Mikey sure has spent a lot of time on his phone.
36
00:03:00,754 --> 00:03:01,749
*phone beeps*
37
00:03:05,981 --> 00:03:09,104
SOS, my house now!
38
00:03:09,104 --> 00:03:15,399
Oh my God, if she sent a photo in that yellow top to Zack again-
39
00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:18,848
Oh, wait she probably just wants to watch the Bachelor.
40
00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:26,820
Even though the Bachelorette is better. I mean like 1 guy compared to like 45.
41
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:33,321
Oh, can't forget you, bugga-beau.
42
00:03:34,199 --> 00:03:37,204
Okay, but realistically you wouldn't want to create a black hole.
43
00:03:37,204 --> 00:03:39,204
The area around it would invert and-
44
00:03:39,204 --> 00:03:41,086
*zombie groans*
45
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:43,087
Oh, is everything okay?
46
00:03:43,087 --> 00:03:45,264
Oh, I'll be right back.
47
00:03:48,753 --> 00:03:50,339
*gunshot*
48
00:03:51,091 --> 00:03:53,091
Oh, hello?
49
00:03:55,338 --> 00:03:57,338
Hello?
50
00:03:59,075 --> 00:04:01,430
Was that a gunshot? Are you-
51
00:04:01,431 --> 00:04:04,554
I'm fine, not looking too good for our society though.
52
00:04:04,554 --> 00:04:08,683
Well duh, have you seen the news lately? Every day-
53
00:04:08,684 --> 00:04:11,630
Have you seen the news like today?
54
00:04:13,008 --> 00:04:15,008
No, but it's only-
55
00:04:16,119 --> 00:04:18,119
Oh, nards! I have to go.
56
00:04:23,498 --> 00:04:25,498
Mom, I'm going to Taylor's.
57
00:04:25,578 --> 00:04:27,578
*zombie groans*
58
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:32,311
Hey, just because she got a terrible nose job does not mean she's a bad influence.
59
00:04:32,915 --> 00:04:34,915
*zombie groans*
60
00:04:34,915 --> 00:04:36,915
You're so mean.
61
00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:40,619
Oh.
62
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:44,098
Okay, did you even try to put makeup on today?
63
00:04:44,098 --> 00:04:47,872
At least Taylor's tried to make an improvement.
64
00:04:47,872 --> 00:04:49,872
*zombie groans*
65
00:04:50,621 --> 00:04:52,621
Maybe Botox?
66
00:04:52,733 --> 00:04:56,152
Taylor's mom said it really made her happier.
67
00:04:56,152 --> 00:04:58,625
Even if she isn't, she's always smiling now.
68
00:04:59,286 --> 00:05:01,286
*zombie groans*
69
00:05:03,318 --> 00:05:05,318
Yeah, bye.
70
00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:07,318
Total nightmare.
71
00:05:22,579 --> 00:05:24,579
*car starts*
72
00:05:41,046 --> 00:05:45,529
*zombies groan*
73
00:05:45,529 --> 00:07:22,310
*theme music plays*
74
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:27,858
This just in. There has been a serious outbreak of some kind.
75
00:07:27,858 --> 00:07:32,992
Everyone should stay inside if they can with their doors locked.
76
00:07:32,993 --> 00:07:34,343
Do not open them.
77
00:07:34,343 --> 00:07:36,993
I'm hearing that if at all possible we need to be trying-
78
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,041
Wait, what? No-
79
00:07:43,565 --> 00:07:46,570
Hopefully Taylor still needs me.
80
00:07:46,570 --> 00:07:49,280
I mean like, it took me forever to get here.
81
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:54,236
I mean like, who the hell leaves their car on fire in the middle of the road?
82
00:07:59,302 --> 00:08:02,485
Whatever.
83
00:08:02,485 --> 00:08:09,688
Maybe he fell asleep before replying in the like five seconds it takes to reply.
84
00:08:27,476 --> 00:08:29,476
Mom, you home?
85
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,823
I'm sorry if I didn't hear you.
86
00:08:35,260 --> 00:08:40,000
Darn. Well, I should probably get started on that biology lab report.
87
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,000
It's on mitosis.
88
00:08:49,345 --> 00:08:51,345
No storm, must be the breaker.
89
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,231
Weird, it seems-
90
00:09:01,231 --> 00:09:03,231
Holy cheeseballs!
91
00:09:11,006 --> 00:09:14,662
Taylor, you would not believe the traffic.
92
00:09:14,662 --> 00:09:18,554
There were like a bunch of empty cars just randomly parked.
93
00:09:18,554 --> 00:09:25,343
Maybe it's like a new flashmob prank or just like stupid people.
94
00:09:26,407 --> 00:09:30,240
OMG, I have got to tell you what my mom just said.
95
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,240
*zombie groans*
96
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,890
Oh, hey Julie!
97
00:09:34,890 --> 00:09:39,019
I told my mom about your Botox suggestion and-
98
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,993
Maybe it's already time for a new injection.
99
00:09:46,993 --> 00:09:51,890
I mean, no offense, Julie. You know I love you.
100
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:55,251
But it must be this terrible lighting, but you literally look dead.
101
00:09:57,742 --> 00:09:59,742
Is it menopause?
102
00:10:01,697 --> 00:10:03,697
I am so sorry.
103
00:10:03,899 --> 00:10:05,899
So why are all the lights out? Is there like-
104
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:07,072
*thud as zombie is hit with lamp*
105
00:10:07,072 --> 00:10:07,889
We have to go.
106
00:10:07,889 --> 00:10:08,766
Wait, what?
107
00:10:09,283 --> 00:10:11,283
You cannot just throw a lamp at your mother.
108
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,506
Look, I know we all have issues with our parents, but-
109
00:10:14,506 --> 00:10:15,560
Come on.
110
00:10:17,097 --> 00:10:19,629
Yeah, so not looking forward to menopause.
111
00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:27,483
Okay, okay.
112
00:10:27,483 --> 00:10:28,300
Put on your seatbelt.
113
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:31,305
Fine, fine, I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
114
00:10:32,016 --> 00:10:34,844
Um, so Taylor?
115
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:35,846
Yeah?
116
00:10:35,884 --> 00:10:37,174
What the hell was that?
117
00:10:37,174 --> 00:10:41,303
I mean um, today has been so crazy.
118
00:10:41,303 --> 00:10:49,097
Like first my mom was a total jerk, then Chad never replied to my Snapchat, and now you just hit your mom with a lamp.
119
00:10:49,097 --> 00:10:51,334
And it really, like I just don't get it. I don't-
120
00:10:51,335 --> 00:10:53,158
*thud as they back over zombie*
121
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:56,555
Oh my God, you actually just hit someone.
122
00:10:56,555 --> 00:11:01,393
My car just got washed. I swear if there is a single scratch, then I'm gonna be-
123
00:11:04,219 --> 00:11:06,042
Taylor.
124
00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:07,392
Taylor, what's going on?
125
00:11:07,392 --> 00:11:09,747
I'm not sure. I just know there's no signal or WiFi.
126
00:11:09,747 --> 00:11:11,037
Really?
127
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,269
Yeah.
128
00:11:12,269 --> 00:11:14,269
Chad didn't ignore me.
129
00:11:14,269 --> 00:11:16,446
Wait, no WiFi? Anywhere?
130
00:11:16,449 --> 00:11:18,449
How am I supposed to listen to Spotify or-
131
00:11:18,450 --> 00:11:21,455
Kourtney, my mom literally turned ugly and tried to eat my face.
132
00:11:21,455 --> 00:11:23,041
WiFi does not matter right now.
133
00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:24,686
How dare you?
134
00:11:24,686 --> 00:11:27,041
WiFi is what keeps the world going.
135
00:11:27,041 --> 00:11:32,884
It is the Olive Branch, the peanut butter to everyone's jelly, supposed to be getting me a new boyfriend.
136
00:11:32,885 --> 00:11:34,885
Kourtney, that's really not important right now.
137
00:11:34,885 --> 00:11:36,885
You seriously need to wake up.
138
00:11:36,885 --> 00:11:38,885
Look, let's just go to Starbucks and-
139
00:11:38,885 --> 00:11:40,530
Kourtney, there is no Starbucks.
140
00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:42,530
This is the zombie apocalypse.
141
00:11:42,807 --> 00:11:44,393
*car dings out of gas*
142
00:11:44,394 --> 00:11:45,271
Crap.
143
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:50,700
Seriously, Taylor, if you're going to hijack my car, the least you can do is fill her up.
144
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,700
Crap.
145
00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:54,672
Okay.
146
00:11:59,037 --> 00:12:00,000
What are you doing?
147
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:02,001
Um, finding some jams.
148
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:04,001
Maybe Ariana can snap you out of your hysteria.
149
00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:06,001
Kourt, this is real. I wouldn't just-
150
00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:10,000
Stay inside. Lock your doors. Zombies are everywhere.
151
00:12:10,392 --> 00:12:12,392
Holy shit, this is real?
152
00:12:12,392 --> 00:12:13,978
That's what I've been trying to tell-
153
00:12:13,978 --> 00:12:15,446
*the girls scream*
154
00:12:15,446 --> 00:12:16,441
Oh my God.
155
00:12:17,415 --> 00:12:19,415
What the hell are we supposed to do?
156
00:12:19,415 --> 00:12:21,415
I don't know. I never watched The Walking Dead.
157
00:12:22,099 --> 00:12:27,174
What would zombies want with us? We don't even have good GPAs.
158
00:12:27,174 --> 00:12:29,706
I thought zombies wanted brains not bootys.
159
00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:31,580
We're going to die.
160
00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:33,580
Oh definitely, probably within the next 2 minutes.
161
00:12:34,456 --> 00:12:39,111
Taylor, I just want you to know that I did tell Zack that you had herpes, so he wouldn't date you.
162
00:12:39,111 --> 00:12:40,342
Oh, that's fine.
163
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:44,116
I told Chad you were 35, but he said he was into it, so then I told him you hated Fornite.
164
00:12:44,116 --> 00:12:46,116
You actually-
165
00:12:46,441 --> 00:12:49,032
You know what we aren't dying.
166
00:12:49,032 --> 00:12:54,225
We haven't even graduated high school yet, and I still have plans to get my Mrs. degree.
167
00:12:54,994 --> 00:13:01,724
I haven't even found love yet, so I am not dying today. I am not dying until I at least find a man with a hefty bank account.
168
00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:03,369
So what do we do?
169
00:13:03,369 --> 00:13:04,719
We go to war.
170
00:13:04,719 --> 00:13:33,917
*music plays*
171
00:13:33,918 --> 00:13:35,918
Now!
172
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,136
No, my shoes! I just got these.
173
00:13:44,136 --> 00:13:46,136
We have to run.
174
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,697
Well, damn.
175
00:13:57,131 --> 00:13:59,131
We have to get inside somewhere before it gets dark.
176
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:05,057
Okay, so I think my brother said that zombies are most active at night.
177
00:14:05,057 --> 00:14:09,659
Or maybe it was creepers are most active at night.
178
00:14:09,659 --> 00:14:11,423
But that's like the same thing, right?
179
00:14:11,424 --> 00:14:12,892
Totally.
180
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:18,027
Okay, so actual shelter with an actual bed. Oh and maybe even a Keurig.
181
00:14:19,272 --> 00:14:20,385
So what should we do?
182
00:14:20,385 --> 00:14:23,627
It's not like we can go door to door, knocking and yelling for someone to let us in.
183
00:14:23,627 --> 00:14:25,982
Taylor, that's exactly the plan.
184
00:14:25,982 --> 00:14:28,692
Kourtney, I don't think that's a good idea.
185
00:14:28,692 --> 00:14:31,697
It's just that it would create a whole lot of noise.
186
00:14:31,697 --> 00:14:35,293
So zombies are dead. They don't have ears.
187
00:14:35,293 --> 00:14:37,056
*zombie groans*
188
00:14:37,057 --> 00:14:39,116
Taylor, did you forget to put any deodorant on?
189
00:14:39,116 --> 00:14:41,175
Oh so they can smell, but they can't hear?
190
00:14:41,175 --> 00:14:42,643
Duh.
191
00:14:42,643 --> 00:14:43,933
Oh look, he does still have ears.
192
00:14:43,953 --> 00:14:46,130
People's ears don't just fall off when they die.
193
00:14:46,130 --> 00:14:48,780
So I have a higher grade in biology than you.
194
00:14:48,781 --> 00:14:50,426
Because Garth is your lab partner.
195
00:14:50,426 --> 00:14:51,539
Who's Garth?
196
00:14:51,539 --> 00:14:53,007
Shut up!
197
00:14:53,007 --> 00:14:55,007
We are trying to talk.
198
00:14:55,007 --> 00:14:57,776
Just because you want to eat our brains does not mean you get to be rude.
199
00:14:57,776 --> 00:15:00,899
You know, fine. Kourt, we'll go knock on every door in the neighborhood.
200
00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:02,899
Can we start with the nicer houses?
201
00:15:03,947 --> 00:15:05,237
Great.
202
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:06,468
So what do we do about him?
203
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:14,720
So that's what Captain America feels like. Avengers assemble!
204
00:15:18,302 --> 00:15:20,302
Go, go! Sh!
205
00:15:20,302 --> 00:15:22,302
Shut up.
206
00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,339
Hello?
207
00:15:26,470 --> 00:15:27,819
Crap, this isn't working.
208
00:15:27,819 --> 00:15:28,814
*doorbell rings*
209
00:15:28,814 --> 00:15:30,000
Why would you do that?
210
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,350
Maybe they couldn't hear us knocking?
211
00:15:31,350 --> 00:15:32,818
Kourt, we have to go.
212
00:15:32,819 --> 00:15:34,819
Oh shit, to the next house!
213
00:15:34,819 --> 00:15:36,819
No, no, no.
214
00:15:36,948 --> 00:15:38,534
Okay, where do we go?
215
00:15:38,534 --> 00:15:39,468
I don't know. I don't know what to do.
216
00:15:39,468 --> 00:15:40,640
I don't know this place.
217
00:15:40,641 --> 00:15:42,641
No, bad zombie. Bad zombie!
218
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:46,119
Back zombie. This weapon sucks.
219
00:15:46,798 --> 00:15:50,000
Kourt, there's a car. There's a car.
220
00:15:50,388 --> 00:15:52,388
Hey! Hey!
221
00:15:53,257 --> 00:15:55,257
Well that's stupid.
222
00:15:58,746 --> 00:16:00,509
What?
223
00:16:00,535 --> 00:16:02,003
Shouldn't we help them?
224
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:07,492
This is survival of the fittest. They can't help us, we don't help them.
225
00:16:08,675 --> 00:16:12,390
Besides, they'll die soon enough anyway.
226
00:16:12,914 --> 00:16:14,796
What a big-
227
00:16:14,797 --> 00:16:16,087
Kourt, come on.
228
00:16:16,539 --> 00:16:19,722
We're almost there. Yay, AC!
229
00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:23,150
We made it.
230
00:16:25,239 --> 00:16:27,239
Ew. Oh my God.
231
00:16:27,808 --> 00:16:30,577
Okay, I am taking a shower and never getting out.
232
00:16:30,582 --> 00:16:33,292
Maybe we should secure the house first, lock all the doors and windows.
233
00:16:33,889 --> 00:16:37,426
Were you ever a girl scout? Because you are killing it!
234
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:53,990
One more floor then a hot shower.
235
00:16:53,990 --> 00:16:57,586
And a cup of coffee. Did you see the Keurig?
236
00:16:58,123 --> 00:17:01,306
You know, Kourt, I think that Chad would-
237
00:17:01,306 --> 00:17:02,478
*zombie groans*
238
00:17:02,478 --> 00:17:03,473
Taylor!
239
00:17:03,474 --> 00:17:06,184
Kourtney! Kourtney, get in here please!
240
00:17:06,184 --> 00:17:08,184
Hey!
241
00:17:08,184 --> 00:17:09,534
Kourtney!
242
00:17:17,353 --> 00:17:18,762
Taylor.
243
00:17:18,762 --> 00:17:20,762
Oh God.
244
00:17:21,196 --> 00:17:27,453
Taylor, did I ever tell you how good red looks on you?
245
00:17:28,222 --> 00:17:31,464
Even now you still laugh at my terrible jokes.
246
00:17:31,464 --> 00:17:33,464
That's just how much I love you.
247
00:17:35,133 --> 00:17:38,611
I'm gonna get some help. There's a doctor in your neighborhood, right?
248
00:17:38,612 --> 00:17:39,666
A dentist.
249
00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:43,217
Well, so, I'm sure he can help.
250
00:17:43,217 --> 00:17:52,017
With what, my smile? My smile is always a little brighter with you around. Plus I already had braces.
251
00:17:52,454 --> 00:17:55,223
I know pressure!
252
00:17:55,223 --> 00:17:57,460
Pressure, that's what your supposed to do.
253
00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:01,460
Kourt, I want you to do something for me.
254
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:04,949
Look, I already know that you don't like Starbucks.
255
00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:09,729
Kourt, if all this stuff about zombies is accurate, I'm gonna turn into one of them soon.
256
00:18:09,729 --> 00:18:10,901
Okay?
257
00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:15,266
And I don't want to be like that. They're ugly.
258
00:18:16,685 --> 00:18:20,400
You won't. You're the prettiest girl in school.
259
00:18:21,878 --> 00:18:24,588
Kourt, I want you to bash my head in, okay?
260
00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:28,007
Okay, you have made me furious but I would never-
261
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,007
You're my sister.
262
00:18:30,719 --> 00:18:32,246
You're my sister.
263
00:18:32,247 --> 00:18:38,149
Great then you are contractionally obligated to fulfill my last wish.
264
00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:41,745
Tay.
265
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:45,519
Kourt, you got to do it.
266
00:18:51,126 --> 00:18:54,013
Okay, close your eyes.
267
00:19:08,048 --> 00:19:11,171
Right, no water.
268
00:19:43,329 --> 00:19:45,329
There's gotta be more survivors.
269
00:20:01,114 --> 00:20:09,677
Eh, yikes. No wonder I never ate these. Well, when in an apocalypse.
270
00:20:41,164 --> 00:20:43,164
Now coffee!
271
00:20:46,785 --> 00:20:53,456
Ah, for the love of all things java, I keep forgetting there is no power.
272
00:21:22,071 --> 00:21:28,506
No surprise here. There's no car. Of course!
273
00:21:35,542 --> 00:21:39,316
Oh, come on.
274
00:21:42,439 --> 00:21:45,089
*Kourtney does a battle cry*
275
00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:54,660
Help! Please help!
276
00:21:54,660 --> 00:21:56,010
Oh crap.
277
00:21:56,010 --> 00:22:00,493
Hey, get off! That is illegal!
278
00:22:01,498 --> 00:22:03,498
Are you okay?
279
00:22:03,516 --> 00:22:05,516
*zombie growls*
280
00:22:05,516 --> 00:22:07,516
This is so useless.
281
00:22:09,179 --> 00:22:12,362
I'm gonna need so much therapy after this.
282
00:22:12,362 --> 00:22:17,732
And what about all of you, cannibalism must have a lot of mental effects?
283
00:22:18,678 --> 00:22:22,393
Ugh, I can't deal with this! I'm leaving.
284
00:22:26,283 --> 00:22:30,000
It's been approximately eleven hours since the garage incident that I have dubbed "the big bang."
285
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,000
I don't know how much longer I can make it.
286
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:38,257
I have enough Cheetos and Mountain Dew to last at least two more days but given my panic eating... I just don't know.
287
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,203
How did this all start?
288
00:22:41,203 --> 00:22:49,589
Water contamination, chemicals? Warfare? Are these actual zombies or just failed clone projects that the government has released to control the population?
289
00:22:50,476 --> 00:22:52,476
Definitely exhibited zombie behavior.
290
00:22:53,195 --> 00:22:57,797
The Walking Dead, Minecraft, Resident Evil, Zombieland.
291
00:22:57,797 --> 00:23:02,576
Pop culture agrees that the only way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain. If I could-
292
00:23:04,291 --> 00:23:05,463
What the-
293
00:23:05,463 --> 00:23:12,134
Ugh, this is so not fair.
294
00:23:12,134 --> 00:23:20,283
I mean like seriously, Greg. Wait, is your name, Greg? You look like a Greg.
295
00:23:22,766 --> 00:23:27,545
I know Greg. It's just like she was a really good friend and-
296
00:23:27,545 --> 00:23:30,432
Wait, this is a dream isn't it!
297
00:23:30,432 --> 00:23:33,733
I knew I shouldn't have had Starbucks before bed.
298
00:23:33,733 --> 00:23:38,098
*zombies groan*
299
00:23:38,315 --> 00:23:40,315
Wait, this isn't a dream!
300
00:23:40,315 --> 00:23:45,567
Greg, I don't have any of those brains that you really like so maybe we could work something out.
301
00:23:45,567 --> 00:23:47,567
*thud*
302
00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:57,759
See you, Greg! And man up, take Sierra on a date already.
303
00:24:00,349 --> 00:24:01,758
Again, again.
304
00:24:06,085 --> 00:24:08,085
I'm a little lightheaded.
305
00:24:10,368 --> 00:24:13,610
How did you- That was just amazing.
306
00:24:13,610 --> 00:24:18,448
Thanks for all your help, but you really aren't my type.
307
00:24:18,448 --> 00:24:22,636
I don't- I'm not-
308
00:24:22,636 --> 00:24:30,253
Do you have any moisturizer my skin is literally dying? That was a joke.
309
00:24:32,116 --> 00:24:34,826
Now there is one of the fittest.
310
00:24:50,557 --> 00:24:53,207
Hey, you heard of Darwin?
311
00:24:54,212 --> 00:24:59,523
Uh, yeah, yeah, I took high school algebra.
312
00:25:00,765 --> 00:25:04,125
Now that we can work with, sis.
313
00:25:05,130 --> 00:25:14,935
My gosh they must have thought you were one of them! But why? Maybe smell-
314
00:25:14,935 --> 00:25:22,434
I'm gonna stop you right there. I smell great. I practically showered in febreze before went out.
315
00:25:22,434 --> 00:25:27,273
Look that doesn't matter. You have got to show me how you did that! This could be a game changer!
316
00:25:27,309 --> 00:25:30,000
Fine.
317
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:38,977
But first can I clean my hands? Maybe get a new outfit? This was really cute but now it's covered in blood.
318
00:25:38,978 --> 00:25:47,955
But while we're at it, maybe you could freshen up. Because um not gonna lie you're a little rank.
319
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,123
Yeah, cheetos and sweat just don't go together.
320
00:25:58,489 --> 00:26:00,489
I look ridiculous.
321
00:26:08,238 --> 00:26:10,238
Yeah, pink def isn't your color.
322
00:26:10,651 --> 00:26:14,247
Why do I have to wear this? I just want you to show me-
323
00:26:14,247 --> 00:26:22,160
Sh! Gary, you have to channel your inner teenage girl to be capable of wielding my powers.
324
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,160
My name's Garth.
325
00:26:27,452 --> 00:26:29,452
We're literally biology partners.
326
00:26:32,707 --> 00:26:34,707
I think I would remember that.
327
00:26:34,712 --> 00:26:40,496
I wrote our whole last report. And completed our science fair project on you know.
328
00:26:40,496 --> 00:26:45,985
Sex! Yas, it was amazing.
329
00:26:48,409 --> 00:26:52,065
It was genetics. And it was pretty good.
330
00:26:52,834 --> 00:26:57,140
The fourteen pounds of glitter really added a lot, don't lie.
331
00:26:57,140 --> 00:27:00,500
Right, so you do remember me?
332
00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:03,978
Of course I do... Garfield.
333
00:27:05,978 --> 00:27:10,000
Look, I really don't think this is helping. Maybe we should just-
334
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:14,424
Sh. You've got to work it!
335
00:27:16,425 --> 00:27:18,425
What?
336
00:27:18,425 --> 00:27:22,376
Well, how would you take a photo for Instagram?
337
00:27:22,376 --> 00:27:25,972
Um, I don't have Instagram.
338
00:27:27,972 --> 00:27:29,972
Uh, oh my God.
339
00:27:44,872 --> 00:27:48,291
Okay, baby steps.
340
00:27:48,941 --> 00:27:53,661
Okay, so George, we're gonna take a selfie.
341
00:27:53,661 --> 00:28:00,273
You go up like this. Get a good angle. And you gotta creep in, creep in.
342
00:28:02,697 --> 00:28:08,304
Ew. No, you look like your on laughing gas.
343
00:28:08,305 --> 00:28:10,000
That's really weird.
344
00:28:11,537 --> 00:28:13,537
Try closed mouth.
345
00:28:15,826 --> 00:28:17,826
Ew, that's even worse.
346
00:28:19,019 --> 00:28:22,793
Let me just. Perfect.
347
00:28:24,953 --> 00:28:31,979
Okay, so white after labor day, yes or hell no? This is an easy one.
348
00:28:33,398 --> 00:28:35,398
Is it for a cosplay?
349
00:28:37,425 --> 00:28:39,425
What the frick is a cosplay?
350
00:28:40,299 --> 00:28:48,330
Okay, so one foot in front of the other. Swish, swash, swish, swash, swish-
351
00:28:48,330 --> 00:28:50,330
*Garth's glasses break*
352
00:28:55,997 --> 00:29:00,000
No, my glasses. I can't see. I-
353
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:07,085
Should never wear glasses again! You went from a negative 5 to a solid 1.
354
00:29:07,085 --> 00:29:10,327
Kourtney, I seriously can't see that well without my glasses.
355
00:29:10,331 --> 00:29:14,873
Okay, so you have a backup pair, right?
356
00:29:14,873 --> 00:29:18,174
No! They were getting fixed at lenscrafters.
357
00:29:19,238 --> 00:29:22,953
Oh my god. My vision is just going to continue to deteriorate.
358
00:29:22,969 --> 00:29:28,871
It will get worse and worse. No more eye exams, prescriptions, no more glasses. I'm gonna go blind!
359
00:29:28,871 --> 00:29:33,532
Right, so we'll break into a lenscrafters. It'll be fine.
360
00:29:33,533 --> 00:29:36,361
No. It's not just the glasses.
361
00:29:36,361 --> 00:29:39,130
It's personal hygiene. Our health, our teeth.
362
00:29:39,130 --> 00:29:44,559
No more flu shots, no more checkups, no more biannual teeth cleanings! No more anything-
363
00:29:46,096 --> 00:29:57,438
Hey, there isn't anymore Starbucks either. But you don't see me crying. I'm done crying. I literally had to kill my bfbamsbwatc.
364
00:29:57,438 --> 00:29:59,438
I'm sorry, what?
365
00:29:59,812 --> 00:30:05,833
Best friend but also my sister because we are that close.. well were.
366
00:30:07,429 --> 00:30:09,429
That's awful.
367
00:30:09,826 --> 00:30:13,186
Look, I get it. I really do.
368
00:30:13,955 --> 00:30:22,282
We could just sit around and mope. Me about snapchat and you about being blind. But that just isn't gonna to help.
369
00:30:22,282 --> 00:30:25,169
Those really aren't the same things.
370
00:30:25,177 --> 00:30:29,542
Do all zombie movies lie? Hell yes!
371
00:30:29,542 --> 00:30:34,617
They never talk about there being no wifi, or what happens when your eyesight starts getting worse.
372
00:30:34,617 --> 00:30:40,000
Or even worse periods?! I don't even want to think about how that works.
373
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:48,149
But we are alive. And I planning on staying that way. So woman up, Barth. We are gonna stay alive.
374
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,000
So what should we do?
375
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:58,671
I don't know. You're the smart one. That's your job. I can't be pretty and come up with the plan.
376
00:30:58,671 --> 00:31:00,671
Fair enough.
377
00:31:00,671 --> 00:31:02,671
So um where to now?
378
00:31:04,148 --> 00:31:09,637
My mom. She's been missing since this all started. I just want to see if she's-
379
00:31:09,637 --> 00:31:11,637
I'm in.
380
00:31:12,524 --> 00:31:15,293
But why would you risk your life to-
381
00:31:16,180 --> 00:31:24,743
I need a new best friend, and there's no better way to form an attachment than to survive a life threatening journey together.
382
00:31:26,842 --> 00:31:31,207
Nice. But where exactly are we?
383
00:31:31,976 --> 00:31:39,652
In isolation. There's a cabin up ahead. We'll have to hike to get there. But we can fortify it and make base there.
384
00:31:40,428 --> 00:31:43,551
It was our uncle's cabin. He built when he thought the Chinese would attack.
385
00:31:43,551 --> 00:31:46,615
Full of everything from weapons to food to first aid.
386
00:31:46,615 --> 00:31:51,217
So what I'm hearing is unlimited mac and cheese!
387
00:31:51,217 --> 00:31:53,217
He was lactose intolerant.
388
00:31:53,262 --> 00:31:58,750
What's lactose intolerant? Does that mean he couldn't have lettuce? Sabine-
389
00:32:00,444 --> 00:32:04,336
Wait, your mom is literally the nanny for your neighbors?
390
00:32:04,336 --> 00:32:06,868
Yeah. She's just two houses down and-
391
00:32:06,872 --> 00:32:10,000
Wouldn't she have already come here if she was-
392
00:32:10,001 --> 00:32:17,973
I mean I'm sure she's fine, like totally alive, like tots breathing and not a brain dead corpse.
393
00:32:17,973 --> 00:32:21,392
She's probably just scared and staying in the house for protection!
394
00:32:21,392 --> 00:32:28,536
I'm 17, and I've already fought at least 30 zombies.
395
00:32:28,536 --> 00:32:30,536
She's emotionally sensitive!
396
00:32:30,846 --> 00:32:34,265
So an alcoholic.
397
00:32:35,566 --> 00:32:36,975
Yeah.
398
00:32:37,915 --> 00:32:41,098
Alright, we'll go get her.
399
00:32:42,340 --> 00:32:45,168
So what about your dad?
400
00:32:45,168 --> 00:32:47,168
He left years ago.
401
00:32:51,216 --> 00:32:55,404
Your mom must have had a good lawyer though.
402
00:32:56,969 --> 00:32:58,969
Yeah, she did.
403
00:32:59,060 --> 00:33:00,469
What about your family?
404
00:33:00,469 --> 00:33:14,945
Mom, zombie. Brother, zombie. And my dad was practically a zombie before anything happened.
405
00:33:16,622 --> 00:33:18,622
Sorry.
406
00:33:18,671 --> 00:33:20,671
All Gucci.
407
00:33:20,671 --> 00:33:27,046
So plan "Save Greg's Mommy" is a go!
408
00:33:28,288 --> 00:33:30,288
My name is still Garth.
409
00:33:30,288 --> 00:33:39,029
Of course, now let's go make some totally amazing best friend memories together!
410
00:34:09,914 --> 00:34:11,914
*zombies groan*
411
00:34:28,074 --> 00:34:31,730
I was so hoping for a more interesting- Who's that?
412
00:34:33,261 --> 00:34:40,642
Mom. Hey, it's me, Garth. We're gonna go home! This is Kourtney-
413
00:34:42,642 --> 00:34:47,421
His best friend, who so isn't gonna let his mom eat his face.
414
00:34:47,421 --> 00:34:55,511
Kourtney? Why did you- Mom! Mom!
415
00:34:55,511 --> 00:35:03,483
Look my pbffwihtk once taught me that sometimes it's okay to hit a mom in the face with a lamp.
416
00:35:05,442 --> 00:35:09,275
Um, Gordon, we have to go.
417
00:35:09,553 --> 00:35:10,962
Oh God.
418
00:35:10,963 --> 00:35:14,323
Don't worry, I saw this in Wonder Woman.
419
00:35:24,305 --> 00:35:26,305
We definitely did not watch the same movie.
420
00:35:27,110 --> 00:35:29,110
Gregory, come on!
421
00:35:43,854 --> 00:35:45,381
Garrett, drive!
422
00:35:45,382 --> 00:35:46,850
But I only have my learner's permit.
423
00:35:46,850 --> 00:35:50,919
Nobody's gonna pull you over. If there's no WiFi, there def aren't any cops.
424
00:35:50,919 --> 00:35:54,397
But I also can't see that well, remember? My glasses broke and-
425
00:35:54,397 --> 00:35:55,569
Drive, bitch!
426
00:35:55,569 --> 00:35:56,623
Okay!
427
00:35:59,646 --> 00:36:02,710
Do I need to make you ride in the back? You have to wear a seat belt!
428
00:36:03,420 --> 00:36:07,312
Great and now I need a nose-job.
429
00:36:13,220 --> 00:36:16,521
So um where should we go now?
430
00:36:16,521 --> 00:36:24,907
I only know how to get to three places: Starbucks, my house, and Taylor's house.
431
00:36:26,090 --> 00:36:27,735
What about school?
432
00:36:27,735 --> 00:36:31,391
Didn't need an apocalypse to skip class.
433
00:36:31,391 --> 00:36:42,024
Right, well... Maybe we could go to this cabin. My dad had a cabin. It's pretty loaded with food and-
434
00:36:42,024 --> 00:36:48,991
Coffee? Please tell me he has coffee. And pop-tarts, those are important too.
435
00:36:49,715 --> 00:36:52,661
Probably. So should we head there?
436
00:36:52,661 --> 00:36:55,903
I'm sure there are more survivors who are meeting up.
437
00:36:55,903 --> 00:36:58,731
But maybe we should regather everything and have a plan before we-
438
00:36:58,731 --> 00:37:06,466
Up to you, Gilbert. I totally trust you. I mean at this point we are
abfliwtdfym.
439
00:37:07,235 --> 00:37:09,235
And what does that mean?
440
00:37:09,815 --> 00:37:12,938
Almost best friends like I would tots die for you, maybe.
441
00:37:14,298 --> 00:37:19,491
You really need to pick up on this kind of stuff if you want to actually be my best friend.
442
00:37:20,319 --> 00:37:25,098
Right, so to my estranged father's cabin.
443
00:37:26,221 --> 00:37:32,419
Um, Gredo, that is like the tenth time you've used a turn signal.
444
00:37:33,247 --> 00:37:34,360
So?
445
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:41,977
We're in a zombie apocalypse. If there's people in the road, they're probably zombies. You just mow them over.
446
00:37:42,048 --> 00:37:45,644
Ugh, it's been like 5 minutes since I last checked my makeup and hair.
447
00:37:46,590 --> 00:37:48,590
Kourtney, what are you doing?
448
00:37:51,419 --> 00:37:54,661
Gilligan, you're hogging my mirror!
449
00:37:54,661 --> 00:37:57,666
My name's Garth, and I need that to see the road.
450
00:37:59,447 --> 00:38:00,619
Wait!
451
00:38:03,457 --> 00:38:05,457
How many fingers am I holding up?
452
00:38:06,415 --> 00:38:07,528
7.
453
00:38:09,528 --> 00:38:11,528
You really are blind.
454
00:38:12,302 --> 00:38:14,893
What! No, you're holding up 7 fingers.
455
00:38:14,894 --> 00:38:16,894
No, 8! I'm holding up-
456
00:38:19,092 --> 00:38:22,038
Oh, okay.
457
00:38:24,327 --> 00:38:26,327
Can I keep driving?
458
00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:28,387
You can see?
459
00:38:28,484 --> 00:38:32,140
Yes, my vision isn't that bad. I just prefer glasses.
460
00:38:36,859 --> 00:38:38,859
Proceed.
461
00:38:51,263 --> 00:38:56,279
So I know this is your dad's place, but do you think he would have makeup, specifically in the shade-
462
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:57,097
*gunshot*
463
00:38:57,097 --> 00:38:57,597
Who the hell-
464
00:38:57,597 --> 00:38:58,651
Griffin?
465
00:38:58,651 --> 00:39:03,489
Well, the little nerd made it all the way here, and he brought Barbie.
466
00:39:03,489 --> 00:39:04,957
Oh thank you! I know my makeup looks-
467
00:39:04,957 --> 00:39:12,456
My god, she really is a Barbie. Look glasses- wait did you finally upgrade to contacts?
468
00:39:12,456 --> 00:39:13,924
No, my glasses broke.
469
00:39:13,924 --> 00:39:16,634
Well, that makes you even more useless.
470
00:39:16,634 --> 00:39:21,886
We might be family but you two are just more bodies to feed, which means my supplies will just run out quicker.
471
00:39:21,886 --> 00:39:22,467
Which means-
472
00:39:22,468 --> 00:39:23,049
Hey!
473
00:39:23,049 --> 00:39:26,763
His eyesight isn't that bad. And wait, you're related?
474
00:39:26,780 --> 00:39:28,603
Cousins. Look Griffin-
475
00:39:28,603 --> 00:39:31,076
You know Garth is useful.
476
00:39:31,077 --> 00:39:32,604
Who?
477
00:39:32,605 --> 00:39:38,980
Hi, I'm Ronan. Stoked to meet you. This is Sabine, she doesn't talk a whole lot but-
478
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,710
Got it. I'll buzz off.
479
00:39:43,010 --> 00:39:46,606
Sabine, speak again!
480
00:39:46,606 --> 00:39:48,074
She's not a dog.
481
00:39:48,074 --> 00:39:52,380
I think Garth should stay. And she can, too. I guess.
482
00:39:52,380 --> 00:39:54,853
Oh my God.
483
00:39:54,853 --> 00:39:58,982
I know, she really needs to use more pastels or anything besides black.
484
00:39:59,891 --> 00:40:01,300
You're goth girl.
485
00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:03,832
Hey, no stereotyping.
486
00:40:04,335 --> 00:40:06,098
No, I mean on the video game!
487
00:40:06,098 --> 00:40:07,448
Yeah.
488
00:40:07,449 --> 00:40:10,572
How the hell did you not know you were gaming with your cousin?
489
00:40:10,572 --> 00:40:14,464
Hey, I've only seen you guys like twice! And Sabine didn't talk either time!
490
00:40:14,464 --> 00:40:15,577
Why bother?
491
00:40:15,577 --> 00:40:19,351
I'm so confused. Like I'm normally confused but right now-
492
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,000
You're like...
493
00:40:22,988 --> 00:40:24,042
Same.
494
00:40:24,574 --> 00:40:30,000
Your mom told my mom she was concerned with your social skills, so then she gave me 20 bucks to game with you.
495
00:40:30,867 --> 00:40:32,630
I thought you just had a voice changer.
496
00:40:32,630 --> 00:40:34,630
You thought I was a guy?
497
00:40:34,630 --> 00:40:38,581
Well duh. Girls don't really game and when they do, they aren't-
498
00:40:40,138 --> 00:40:41,488
Sorry.
499
00:40:41,488 --> 00:40:43,488
Not cool, bro.
500
00:40:44,237 --> 00:40:47,360
You guys, this is perfect. We can totally work together and-
501
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,543
Garth, you can stay. Barbie, you're out.
502
00:40:50,543 --> 00:40:52,070
But Kourtney's useful.
503
00:40:52,071 --> 00:40:54,071
You're lucky enough we're letting you stay.
504
00:40:54,071 --> 00:40:56,071
And I appreciate it. Family has to-
505
00:40:56,072 --> 00:40:59,018
It has nothing to do with family. You're smart, that's it.
506
00:40:59,018 --> 00:41:04,152
If you're not useful then you're just a waste of space, and we don't need something pretty to look at.
507
00:41:04,152 --> 00:41:05,797
Thank you!
508
00:41:05,797 --> 00:41:08,093
Think about what she just said a little more.
509
00:41:08,625 --> 00:41:12,931
Wow, I've never been considered more than a pretty face before.
510
00:41:12,931 --> 00:41:14,931
You either come in now, alone, or leave.
511
00:41:16,665 --> 00:41:18,133
Zombies don't try to eat Kourtney!
512
00:41:18,488 --> 00:41:19,645
Explain.
513
00:41:19,772 --> 00:41:21,772
Kourtney can walk past zombies without them attacking her.
514
00:41:21,996 --> 00:41:27,307
If I find out you're lying then family or not, you are dead.
515
00:41:27,319 --> 00:41:30,915
Great, can we go inside I want coffee?
516
00:41:32,038 --> 00:41:34,038
Coffee!
517
00:41:36,937 --> 00:41:46,741
I just want you to know that I totally support any decision you make and-
518
00:41:46,756 --> 00:41:48,756
Go!
519
00:42:02,918 --> 00:42:04,918
Why are you standing in the dark?
520
00:42:04,918 --> 00:42:05,913
I like the dark.
521
00:42:05,913 --> 00:42:07,322
It's not that dark.
522
00:42:07,322 --> 00:42:10,623
I-I don't have an excuse.
523
00:42:11,975 --> 00:42:13,975
Oh, because there isn't any power.
524
00:42:15,886 --> 00:42:18,241
Wait, is there WiFi too?!
525
00:42:18,322 --> 00:42:21,091
This place has its own setup. Power and water.
526
00:42:21,091 --> 00:42:23,091
And WiFi?
527
00:42:23,106 --> 00:42:24,751
No, no WiFi.
528
00:42:24,752 --> 00:42:30,359
Well, that's okay! There's plenty to do! We could watch a movie-
529
00:42:30,359 --> 00:42:31,413
No.
530
00:42:32,349 --> 00:42:34,940
Okay, not a movie person.
531
00:42:34,940 --> 00:42:37,886
What she means is, there aren't any TVs.
532
00:42:39,128 --> 00:42:45,326
No, WiFi or TV! How am I supposed to watch the Bachelor or send my streaks?
533
00:42:45,326 --> 00:42:47,563
No one would answer anyway.
534
00:42:48,682 --> 00:42:56,595
How dare you? How did you know that no one was answering my snapchats?! They keep leaving me on seen and read!
535
00:42:56,595 --> 00:42:58,299
Harsh.
536
00:42:58,319 --> 00:42:58,841
Right?
537
00:42:58,841 --> 00:42:59,718
Quiet!
538
00:42:59,772 --> 00:43:02,482
Count yourselves lucky we have power and water.
539
00:43:05,658 --> 00:43:07,008
Awkward.
540
00:43:07,398 --> 00:43:11,054
So um, Griffin, how did you get in here anyway?
541
00:43:11,101 --> 00:43:18,718
We walked right in. Well, I walked in the front door, and they waited on the porch.
542
00:43:19,743 --> 00:43:21,743
So the security system was down?
543
00:43:21,809 --> 00:43:25,642
Who has a security system and not a TV?
544
00:43:27,154 --> 00:43:29,154
Wait.
545
00:43:29,558 --> 00:43:33,450
I had to go first because I could've been blasted by a laser!
546
00:43:33,450 --> 00:43:36,751
There weren't lasers. Probably would've just stepped into a bear trap.
547
00:43:36,751 --> 00:43:40,288
Oh, oh. Cooler.
548
00:43:40,706 --> 00:43:43,416
So no lasers and no TV!
549
00:43:43,771 --> 00:43:45,298
No technology.
550
00:43:46,185 --> 00:43:51,260
The most high-tech this place gets is a toilet, stove, fridge, and the digital alarm clock that I got for him.
551
00:43:52,206 --> 00:43:54,206
He didn't exactly trust the government.
552
00:43:54,206 --> 00:43:56,206
No, which is why he has a security system...
553
00:43:56,206 --> 00:44:00,926
The whole system was down. The door wasn't even locked. And all the weapons are just gone.
554
00:44:01,624 --> 00:44:05,043
Why wouldn't he be here? This is literally what he made this place for.
555
00:44:05,043 --> 00:44:07,043
I don't know.
556
00:44:07,213 --> 00:44:11,164
He does have a bunker in Wisconsin, but this place was his pride and joy.
557
00:44:11,755 --> 00:44:15,765
If the system was down and his guns are gone, he isn't planning on coming back.
558
00:44:15,765 --> 00:44:16,878
Good.
559
00:44:16,878 --> 00:44:18,878
Wait, who's he?
560
00:44:18,972 --> 00:44:27,594
Oh, I know this one! He's Gideon's weird father. He thought the Chinese would attack and built this place.
561
00:44:29,765 --> 00:44:32,652
Wait, that's true?
562
00:44:33,515 --> 00:44:38,353
I thought Sabine was lying. That's ridiculous.
563
00:44:38,353 --> 00:44:44,788
If anything would attack, it would clearly be monkeys.
564
00:44:44,788 --> 00:44:49,271
Really? I always thought that one day the government would send out a select virus to doctor offices.
565
00:44:49,271 --> 00:44:54,346
And when you went in for a checkup and didn't fit the standard to populate their new superior race-
566
00:44:54,346 --> 00:45:00,662
-You would be injected with the virus. Dead before you could even check your Instagram notifications.
567
00:45:00,678 --> 00:45:01,614
No.
568
00:45:01,614 --> 00:45:02,431
Yes.
569
00:45:02,431 --> 00:45:03,485
No.
570
00:45:03,485 --> 00:45:05,485
Yes.
571
00:45:06,293 --> 00:45:09,653
Sorry, just wanted to feel like part of the team.
572
00:45:09,653 --> 00:45:10,884
We aren't a team.
573
00:45:11,594 --> 00:45:13,594
Yes, ma'am.
574
00:45:14,268 --> 00:45:15,795
So what now?
575
00:45:15,795 --> 00:45:17,795
Coffee!
576
00:45:18,145 --> 00:45:20,618
Tomorrow we will come up with a plan of action.
577
00:45:20,618 --> 00:45:29,299
For now, do whatever you want. Get something to eat, perishables only. And only one cup of coffee.
578
00:45:44,544 --> 00:45:47,313
Oh, right!
579
00:45:48,090 --> 00:45:50,090
Where's the Keurig?
580
00:45:50,970 --> 00:45:52,556
There is no Keurig.
581
00:45:52,556 --> 00:45:55,679
Okay, so where's the coffee maker?
582
00:45:57,335 --> 00:46:04,952
Oh, are you making us dinner? I could really go for a salad light on the-
583
00:46:04,953 --> 00:46:10,264
Sorry, there's no lettuce here. He was lactose intolerant, right?
584
00:46:11,033 --> 00:46:16,758
Lactose intolerant means he was scared of ladders not lettuce.
585
00:46:16,758 --> 00:46:20,000
Oh, that makes more sense!
586
00:46:20,851 --> 00:46:23,797
No, my dad, he wasn't lactose intolerant.
587
00:46:23,797 --> 00:46:25,501
But Sabine said-
588
00:46:25,501 --> 00:46:29,038
You must've been thinking about Uncle Billy.
589
00:46:31,817 --> 00:46:34,527
So, about that salad?
590
00:46:35,635 --> 00:46:36,925
Touchy.
591
00:46:37,516 --> 00:46:42,768
Pot, water, coffee, stove, stir.
592
00:46:42,768 --> 00:46:54,465
Cool, ice, drink, sprite, Lebron James.
593
00:46:54,466 --> 00:46:56,466
What?
594
00:46:56,466 --> 00:46:58,880
Oh, I get it!
595
00:46:59,353 --> 00:47:07,266
Prada, shoes, Gucci, me, hot, Instagram-
596
00:47:07,267 --> 00:47:12,283
Stop! I was giving you instructions to make coffee.
597
00:47:12,815 --> 00:47:16,471
That makes so much more sense!
598
00:47:16,482 --> 00:47:22,148
I thought we were playing a game where the next word you say has to connect to your previous word.
599
00:47:23,449 --> 00:47:25,449
Really?
600
00:47:25,454 --> 00:47:27,750
I thought we were just saying our search history.
601
00:47:28,070 --> 00:47:30,070
That's even better.
602
00:47:30,116 --> 00:47:32,116
You seriously searched me?
603
00:47:32,223 --> 00:47:34,519
No, I searched "me."
604
00:47:34,524 --> 00:47:40,591
Fine, I'll make the coffee. Just find something to eat away from me.
605
00:47:40,591 --> 00:47:44,897
You are the blpgbapda!
606
00:47:44,897 --> 00:47:46,897
I'm not goth.
607
00:47:48,716 --> 00:47:50,302
You understood her?
608
00:47:50,302 --> 00:47:52,302
You didn't?
609
00:48:02,559 --> 00:48:05,150
What is that? Tar!
610
00:48:05,151 --> 00:48:07,801
It's coffee, black coffee.
611
00:48:08,263 --> 00:48:12,096
Where's the flavor, the love, the sugar?
612
00:48:12,105 --> 00:48:14,105
It's coffee.
613
00:48:14,105 --> 00:48:20,421
It's more than coffee. It's a cup full of warmth, comfort, hope-
614
00:48:20,421 --> 00:48:21,711
If you don't want to drink it-
615
00:48:21,711 --> 00:48:22,824
No, it's mine.
616
00:48:26,501 --> 00:48:28,501
Here.
617
00:48:35,555 --> 00:48:40,630
So, is this where we're supposed to get to know each other?
618
00:48:40,630 --> 00:48:46,296
Bond over our traumatic back stories and explore character development.
619
00:48:46,326 --> 00:48:49,745
I can go first! I was born on-
620
00:48:49,746 --> 00:48:51,746
We are definitely not doing that.
621
00:48:51,747 --> 00:48:56,644
Yeah, we do have better odds of surviving if we don't have fleshed out character arcs and back stories.
622
00:48:56,644 --> 00:49:02,548
Hangman! Can I go first? Q!
623
00:49:02,548 --> 00:49:03,720
No.
624
00:49:04,177 --> 00:49:05,940
Vowels? D.
625
00:49:05,940 --> 00:49:08,945
We aren't playing hangman. We need to have a lookout.
626
00:49:08,945 --> 00:49:10,000
What?
627
00:49:10,152 --> 00:49:15,344
I think she's saying we need to change outfits, so we can have a look outfit.
628
00:49:15,405 --> 00:49:18,942
Oh, an outfit that is totally a look.
629
00:49:18,942 --> 00:49:20,942
Exactly, maybe we can-
630
00:49:20,942 --> 00:49:26,312
Guys, she means we need someone to keep watch at all times, so nobody or no zombies come without us noticing.
631
00:49:26,998 --> 00:49:32,664
That too! So a lookout then a "lookout"!
632
00:49:32,664 --> 00:49:36,911
For tonight, we'll have a rough schedule. Barbie, you have first watch from-
633
00:49:36,912 --> 00:49:44,411
Actually my name's spelled with a K. It's Kourtney not Courtney.
634
00:49:44,411 --> 00:49:46,411
Fine.
635
00:49:46,411 --> 00:49:51,663
While we're on this subject, I've noticed all of you have been saying my name wrong.
636
00:49:52,349 --> 00:49:56,891
But there's no audible difference. Courtney and Kourtney sound the same.
637
00:49:56,891 --> 00:50:01,374
Now, that's just rude. How would you feel if someone called you Gale, Giovanni?
638
00:50:01,374 --> 00:50:03,374
My name's Garth.
639
00:50:03,374 --> 00:50:07,739
I am so sorry, Kourtney.
640
00:50:07,739 --> 00:50:09,739
Thank you.
641
00:50:09,739 --> 00:50:11,384
And he just said it right?
642
00:50:11,384 --> 00:50:16,577
Guys it's simple, Kourtney not Courtney.
643
00:50:16,578 --> 00:50:18,578
Exactly.
644
00:50:18,578 --> 00:50:20,578
We are going to die.
645
00:50:22,283 --> 00:50:23,573
Courtney.
646
00:50:23,573 --> 00:50:25,573
No, no, no.
647
00:50:25,693 --> 00:50:26,983
Courtney.
648
00:50:26,983 --> 00:50:28,983
No.
649
00:50:28,983 --> 00:50:30,983
Courtney.
650
00:50:31,039 --> 00:50:33,453
No. Dude, come on.
651
00:50:33,569 --> 00:50:35,214
Kourtney.
652
00:50:35,264 --> 00:50:37,264
Yes! That was right.
653
00:50:37,823 --> 00:50:39,527
Courtney.
654
00:50:39,528 --> 00:50:41,528
Aw, you lost it.
655
00:50:41,528 --> 00:50:43,528
Look, you just had it. Try it again.
656
00:50:45,182 --> 00:50:48,010
K and C sound exactly the same.
657
00:50:48,010 --> 00:50:52,139
No, really emphasize the K.
658
00:50:53,144 --> 00:50:55,144
Look, Kourtney, this is-
659
00:50:55,144 --> 00:50:57,144
You did it!
660
00:50:58,327 --> 00:51:01,391
I've never been prouder.
661
00:51:03,047 --> 00:51:06,998
Thanks, guys. Kourtney?
662
00:51:08,357 --> 00:51:10,357
Yep.
663
00:51:11,247 --> 00:51:13,247
No, I'm not doing that.
664
00:51:14,535 --> 00:51:16,535
That must have been so hard.
665
00:51:17,572 --> 00:51:26,135
All my life everyone has been saying my name wrong. Sometimes I think they did it on purpose to spite me.
666
00:51:26,135 --> 00:51:28,135
That's terrible.
667
00:51:28,763 --> 00:51:32,005
Horrible, where's Griffin?
668
00:51:32,005 --> 00:51:34,005
She left hours ago.
669
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:37,602
She needs to learn to say my name right, too!
670
00:51:40,657 --> 00:51:43,603
Get out! I will end you!
671
00:51:43,603 --> 00:51:45,189
I wouldn't worry about it.
672
00:51:45,189 --> 00:51:47,189
She'll probably just call you Barbie anyway.
673
00:51:51,497 --> 00:51:53,497
One, two, three.
674
00:51:53,498 --> 00:51:55,498
One, two, three, four.
675
00:51:55,498 --> 00:51:57,498
One, two, three, four.
676
00:51:57,498 --> 00:51:59,498
One, two, three, four.
677
00:51:59,498 --> 00:52:01,971
It's still not time.
678
00:52:01,971 --> 00:52:03,971
Oh, gotta stay quiet.
679
00:52:28,806 --> 00:52:30,806
It's time.
680
00:52:37,939 --> 00:52:39,939
Sh, come on.
681
00:52:55,459 --> 00:52:59,528
You're so squeamish. You really need to woman up.
682
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,000
Man up, not woman up.
683
00:53:03,099 --> 00:53:09,652
No, women are so much tougher than men. Once a month our vaginas attempt suicide and then-
684
00:53:09,652 --> 00:53:12,775
No, you're right. Yep, totally right.
685
00:53:12,775 --> 00:53:14,775
Don't be so stupendous.
686
00:53:16,583 --> 00:53:21,125
Squeamish and stupendous. How did-
687
00:53:21,134 --> 00:53:24,435
Oh, it's the coffee.
688
00:53:25,618 --> 00:53:30,811
Interesting... You do know what stupendous means though, right?
689
00:53:31,639 --> 00:53:39,729
Seriously, Gary? It's alright if you don't know what it means. No need to be ash-hamed.
690
00:53:40,993 --> 00:53:43,762
Cool, noted.
691
00:53:47,860 --> 00:53:51,043
Um, you know that you can go to bed now?
692
00:53:51,043 --> 00:53:54,285
I know, but I had two cups of coffee.
693
00:53:54,285 --> 00:53:59,537
Thanks by the way for letting me have yours too, that was really stupendous of you.
694
00:54:00,306 --> 00:54:04,375
Thanks, Kourtney. It really isn't that big of a deal though. I don't drink coffee.
695
00:54:04,375 --> 00:54:06,375
That really is stupendous.
696
00:54:10,362 --> 00:54:11,534
Kourtney?
697
00:54:11,534 --> 00:54:12,470
Yes?
698
00:54:12,471 --> 00:54:14,234
Stupendous doesn't mean stupid.
699
00:54:14,235 --> 00:54:17,772
Of course not. It means really stupid.
700
00:54:20,261 --> 00:54:31,663
*Kourtney starts to sing*
701
00:54:31,663 --> 00:54:32,480
*thud*
702
00:54:35,601 --> 00:54:39,493
So I know we said we weren't going-
703
00:54:39,500 --> 00:54:41,914
To dive into our pasts and reveal our character?
704
00:54:42,211 --> 00:54:45,216
I was going to say have more than 1 cup of coffee.
705
00:54:45,224 --> 00:54:47,224
I'm not making you more coffee.
706
00:54:55,548 --> 00:55:03,993
Grayson, sorry, I mean Giselle, tell me about your life.
707
00:55:05,445 --> 00:55:10,579
Well, firstly my name is still Garth. And what do you want to know?
708
00:55:10,648 --> 00:55:15,664
Anything a bff should know about her bff. So literally everything.
709
00:55:15,664 --> 00:55:25,942
How cute do you think Chad is? Who's hotter Harry Styles or Shawn Mendes? And what's your Starbucks drink order?
710
00:55:28,042 --> 00:55:30,042
Harry Styles.
711
00:55:30,074 --> 00:55:37,573
Right! Like Shawn, sorry don't see it. Harry is just, well you know.
712
00:55:39,644 --> 00:55:44,009
He has a great chin?
713
00:55:44,010 --> 00:55:47,015
He does, he so does!
714
00:55:49,015 --> 00:55:51,015
Kourtney?
715
00:55:51,922 --> 00:55:53,922
Kourtney?
716
00:55:55,784 --> 00:56:00,000
Was it something I said? Do I need to answer your other questions?
717
00:56:01,705 --> 00:56:03,705
Kourtney?
718
00:56:04,717 --> 00:56:09,673
Starbucks. Starbucks, there's a Starbucks around. Do you need more coffee?
719
00:56:09,734 --> 00:56:11,734
Kourtney?
720
00:56:11,917 --> 00:56:15,632
Holy Guacamole, I broke her. Crap, should I-
721
00:56:15,632 --> 00:56:17,632
Damn.
722
00:56:18,484 --> 00:56:19,597
Kourtney?
723
00:56:19,597 --> 00:56:29,580
Sorry, I had my coffee crash. Then I started to think what Harry would look like as a zombie and if I would still, well you know.
724
00:56:30,703 --> 00:56:32,230
Oh.
725
00:56:32,230 --> 00:56:35,413
I would. I still would.
726
00:56:36,871 --> 00:56:38,871
Would you?
727
00:56:40,052 --> 00:56:42,052
I'm not-
728
00:56:43,298 --> 00:56:45,298
Yeah. Yeah, I would.
729
00:56:47,683 --> 00:56:53,172
Gotta get my beauty sleep. Goodnight.
730
00:56:54,118 --> 00:56:55,704
Technically, good morning.
731
00:56:55,704 --> 00:56:56,994
What?
732
00:56:56,994 --> 00:56:58,048
Goodnight.
733
00:56:58,048 --> 00:57:00,048
Thanks for earlier.
734
00:57:00,852 --> 00:57:02,852
I don't like coffee anyway.
735
00:57:02,914 --> 00:57:08,343
I meant for standing up for me. For saying that I'm useful, for giving me a place.
736
00:57:08,639 --> 00:57:12,768
Oh, uh. No problem. You're a badass.
737
00:57:12,768 --> 00:57:15,714
Thanks, Gar. You're a badass, too.
738
00:57:15,730 --> 00:57:19,504
Griffin, won't kick you out. She won't be nice to you but she won't-
739
00:57:19,504 --> 00:57:24,993
You don't think she'll throw me in the middle of a zombie horde to test what you said?
740
00:57:24,994 --> 00:57:29,536
No, no! Of course not... Hopefully not.
741
00:57:29,551 --> 00:57:38,528
Cause it's not exactly true like zombies don't try to eat me. Like not they def would.
742
00:57:38,528 --> 00:57:42,657
I probably taste good, like pop-tarts and Gucci.
743
00:57:42,657 --> 00:57:44,420
Don't worry, Courtney.
744
00:57:44,420 --> 00:57:46,420
Kourtney not Courtney.
745
00:57:47,006 --> 00:57:50,000
Oh, right! Sorry.
746
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:52,000
Goodnight, Gaylord.
747
00:58:04,955 --> 00:58:06,127
Wake up!
748
00:58:10,907 --> 00:58:14,385
What happened? Is everyone okay? Are you okay?
749
00:58:14,385 --> 00:58:15,971
It's time to work.
750
00:58:17,449 --> 00:58:22,701
Who would have thought the zombie apocalypse requires more participation than high school?
751
00:58:22,701 --> 00:58:24,938
You all have 15 minutes. Eat and get ready.
752
00:58:26,543 --> 00:58:30,000
Meet here in 15 that includes you, Barbie.
753
00:58:35,179 --> 00:58:37,179
Does bad eyesight run in your family?
754
00:58:37,331 --> 00:58:39,331
She ignored you on purpose.
755
00:58:39,395 --> 00:58:42,696
She wouldn't do that, that's mean.
756
00:58:42,764 --> 00:58:44,527
That's Griffin.
757
00:58:44,527 --> 00:58:45,758
What'd you want to ask?
758
00:58:45,758 --> 00:58:52,547
Oh, I was going to tell her that I take at least 4 hours to get ready if I have a curler and put makeup on.
759
00:58:52,548 --> 00:58:54,134
We have neither of those.
760
00:58:54,548 --> 00:58:57,908
Oh okay, so then only an hour.
761
00:58:57,908 --> 00:58:59,908
You have 15 minutes.
762
00:59:03,806 --> 00:59:17,040
Fine, it's fine. I can totally do this. Ronan, make coffee. Gar, I need you to pump me up.
763
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:18,390
What?
764
00:59:18,390 --> 00:59:23,465
Excite me. Motivate me. Inspire me. Do you not know the list?
765
00:59:23,465 --> 00:59:25,288
What list?
766
00:59:25,301 --> 00:59:33,509
The best friend forever list. It's a thing. You have to know it and be able to do all of it if we're going to be bffs, George.
767
00:59:33,982 --> 00:59:36,514
Is knowing your bff's name on the list?
768
00:59:36,514 --> 00:59:39,283
Of course, why wouldn't it be?
769
00:59:39,283 --> 00:59:40,987
13 minutes!
770
00:59:40,987 --> 00:59:45,471
We'll discuss this later. Just make me a pop-tart, Gavin.
771
00:59:45,528 --> 00:59:48,711
I call this song My Post-Apokalyptic Lover.
772
00:59:48,711 --> 00:59:50,711
No. Oh God.
773
00:59:52,775 --> 00:59:56,785
There's a girl that makes my heart hover.
774
00:59:56,965 --> 01:00:01,567
And I call her my post-apokalyptic lover.
775
01:00:01,568 --> 01:00:06,170
And I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop dreaming about her.
776
01:00:06,177 --> 01:00:12,612
I'll take five because she's the love, the love of my life.
777
01:00:12,612 --> 01:00:14,612
Are you done?
778
01:00:14,612 --> 01:00:15,843
You done?
779
01:00:15,843 --> 01:00:16,601
Yeah.
780
01:00:16,601 --> 01:00:18,601
Great. Where's Barbie?
781
01:00:18,601 --> 01:00:22,907
Um, I think she's still- there she is.
782
01:00:22,907 --> 01:00:28,100
I did it! A new record time, take note of that Gerald.
783
01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:31,997
We have to fortify this place today.
784
01:00:32,806 --> 01:00:37,940
Ronan, you'll be with me. We're going to make this cabin a death sentence for anyone who approaches.
785
01:00:37,940 --> 01:00:39,940
Rad.
786
01:00:40,116 --> 01:00:41,702
Sabine, you-
787
01:00:41,702 --> 01:00:43,702
*Kourtney is loud with wrapper*
788
01:00:44,897 --> 01:00:48,789
You map out what's near us and what supplies those locations would have.
789
01:00:48,789 --> 01:00:56,288
Garth, you figure out how this all started. Everything that's going on. Is it just America that's impacted? Anything you-
790
01:00:56,288 --> 01:00:58,288
*Kourtney chews loudly*
791
01:00:58,736 --> 01:01:00,736
She didn't mean any disrespect or-
792
01:01:01,768 --> 01:01:03,177
Is that good?
793
01:01:04,353 --> 01:01:12,088
Pop-tarts? Pop-tarts are like when you go to Target, and they have a Starbucks. They are amazing.
794
01:01:12,716 --> 01:01:13,593
Yeah?
795
01:01:13,594 --> 01:01:14,352
Yeah.
796
01:01:14,352 --> 01:01:19,190
Breakfast is over. It was included in the 15 minutes. Understood?
797
01:01:19,190 --> 01:01:20,776
Yes, sir.
798
01:01:21,073 --> 01:01:24,669
Barbie, you need to count all the food and sort it.
799
01:01:24,669 --> 01:01:30,296
I want to know how much of each item we have. Sort them into perishable and imperishable.
800
01:01:30,395 --> 01:01:31,804
Done.
801
01:01:31,842 --> 01:01:33,842
You do know how to count, right?
802
01:01:35,355 --> 01:01:38,478
I passed 8th grade.
803
01:01:38,478 --> 01:01:43,080
8th grade? Nice! I didn't learn until 11th.
804
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:44,370
Aren't you a senior?
805
01:01:44,370 --> 01:01:46,370
No, I'm a second year senior.
806
01:01:46,370 --> 01:01:47,601
Oh, cool. I-
807
01:01:47,602 --> 01:01:49,602
Come on, Ronan.
808
01:01:52,816 --> 01:01:57,595
I gotta go find a radio. Start with the fridge then the pantry then the room by the bathroom.
809
01:01:57,595 --> 01:01:59,595
Okay, thanks.
810
01:02:03,426 --> 01:02:07,082
Perishable means if we don't eat it quickly then it goes bad.
811
01:02:07,082 --> 01:02:09,082
And imperishable?
812
01:02:09,082 --> 01:02:10,727
The opposite.
813
01:02:10,731 --> 01:02:13,027
Oh, that makes sense.
814
01:02:39,318 --> 01:02:41,318
What are you doing?
815
01:02:41,670 --> 01:02:43,670
I finished making the list!
816
01:02:46,153 --> 01:02:49,276
Shit, this can't be right. Barbie, are you sure-
817
01:02:49,277 --> 01:02:56,480
It's right. I double checked it. He really cleared everything out. You already done?
818
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:59,780
Yep! I would not go outside if I were you, unless you have Griffin.
819
01:02:59,780 --> 01:03:07,634
She really boobied the trap out of that one... or would it be trapped the booby?
820
01:03:08,088 --> 01:03:09,319
Are you done?
821
01:03:09,319 --> 01:03:10,000
Yeah.
822
01:03:10,001 --> 01:03:11,410
I got the radio working.
823
01:03:11,410 --> 01:03:12,287
And?
824
01:03:12,287 --> 01:03:13,991
It's just America.
825
01:03:14,021 --> 01:03:17,854
Then that means we just have to make it to Mexico, and we're safe?
826
01:03:18,268 --> 01:03:22,337
That's the problem, no other country is letting Americans in. No matter the circumstance.
827
01:03:22,878 --> 01:03:27,894
That's fine. Long term goal is to get out of the States. How did all this happen?
828
01:03:28,249 --> 01:03:33,324
I'm not completely sure, but I am 97.398% sure it was the government.
829
01:03:33,324 --> 01:03:36,093
You're sure it wasn't monkeys?
830
01:03:36,159 --> 01:03:37,449
The difference?
831
01:03:37,449 --> 01:03:44,948
My dad hated technology, but he did go to the public library to use their computers to talk on some very sketchy doomsdayer websites that knew way too much about everything.
832
01:03:45,542 --> 01:03:49,020
He was tipped off before this got out. And took most of his stuff and drove to Canada.
833
01:03:49,611 --> 01:03:53,858
Why Canada? I would drive to Hawaii.
834
01:03:53,858 --> 01:03:57,454
Really? I would go to Utah.
835
01:03:57,868 --> 01:03:59,868
And you know all this how?
836
01:04:03,397 --> 01:04:05,397
Okay, but that could mean anything.
837
01:04:06,870 --> 01:04:07,924
Oh.
838
01:04:08,900 --> 01:04:09,540
Shit.
839
01:04:10,716 --> 01:04:11,770
What now?
840
01:04:11,770 --> 01:04:17,259
We need to get more supplies. He took off with a lot of them. Sabine, where's the closest place?
841
01:04:17,260 --> 01:04:19,497
Neighbor's cabin. Around 2 miles west.
842
01:04:19,637 --> 01:04:21,637
Ronan, Barbie, let's go.
843
01:04:21,813 --> 01:04:23,754
I call shotgun.
844
01:04:23,754 --> 01:04:24,749
Dang it!
845
01:04:24,749 --> 01:04:26,039
We aren't driving.
846
01:04:26,293 --> 01:04:33,437
That's funny. But the last time I checked it's not opposite day, or is it?
847
01:04:33,437 --> 01:04:34,195
Is it?
848
01:04:34,233 --> 01:04:35,287
No.
849
01:04:36,115 --> 01:04:42,372
Ugh, I can't check the calendar website that tells you all the special occasions for today!
850
01:04:43,910 --> 01:04:49,044
Now that is the whitest, girliest thing I've ever heard.
851
01:04:49,044 --> 01:04:50,689
Thanks.
852
01:04:50,690 --> 01:04:54,523
Ronan, Barbie, you've got 10 minutes to get ready. Find a weapon and-
853
01:04:54,523 --> 01:04:56,109
Can I have your gun?
854
01:04:56,109 --> 01:04:57,045
No! Kourtney!
855
01:04:57,459 --> 01:05:00,819
Why do you get the gun? It's the only gun.
856
01:05:00,858 --> 01:05:02,858
Do you even know how to use a gun?
857
01:05:04,023 --> 01:05:09,571
Every day for 7 months my brother would come into my room at exactly 6:24.
858
01:05:09,571 --> 01:05:18,252
Because he knows that is the best time to snapchat. The WiFi is great, the signal is perfect, and I just look absolutely amazing.
859
01:05:18,252 --> 01:05:24,332
He would come into my room and shoot me with a Nerf gun
until it was 6:25 and then it was over.
860
01:05:24,332 --> 01:05:36,738
I did everything I could think of to deter him. I locked the door, I
barricaded the door, I told mom, but it never stopped him.
861
01:05:37,388 --> 01:05:46,306
So I did the only logical thing a 17 year old girl could do, I bought an airsoft gun and I trained until I was the perfect shot.
862
01:05:46,306 --> 01:05:51,735
I trained for 3 weeks then I waited for him to open that door.
863
01:05:51,735 --> 01:05:57,283
When he opened that door, I landed every single one of my shots into his no-no region.
864
01:05:57,993 --> 01:06:01,412
So yes, I know how to use a gun.
865
01:06:02,698 --> 01:06:03,574
Wow.
866
01:06:03,574 --> 01:06:04,332
Nice.
867
01:06:05,247 --> 01:06:07,247
Good, but I'm still keeping the gun.
868
01:06:07,363 --> 01:06:09,363
How many zombies have you killed?
869
01:06:09,363 --> 01:06:10,000
What?
870
01:06:10,022 --> 01:06:14,742
You've made yourself leader, but I'm not sure if you are the most qualified.
871
01:06:14,742 --> 01:06:17,156
And you are?
872
01:06:17,554 --> 01:06:26,886
One, I'm really hot. Two, I'm a very good speaker. Three, do you see this bod?
873
01:06:26,886 --> 01:06:34,326
Four, I got an A in algebra despite never going to class. Five, I've killed at least 38 zombies.
874
01:06:34,326 --> 01:06:42,239
Six, I'm a girl and we have to support each other. Ten, I'm really, hot.
875
01:06:44,653 --> 01:06:46,653
She has killed a lot of zombies.
876
01:06:46,682 --> 01:06:51,047
Why would you have to kill them if they don't try to eat you?
877
01:06:51,047 --> 01:06:52,397
Well, that's like-
878
01:06:52,397 --> 01:06:54,397
Because she's a ruthless killer.
879
01:06:54,397 --> 01:06:55,569
Sure.
880
01:06:56,042 --> 01:06:57,451
I've killed 1 zombie.
881
01:06:57,865 --> 01:06:59,865
Probably about 8.
882
01:06:59,926 --> 01:07:01,926
1.
883
01:07:04,051 --> 01:07:05,223
What?
884
01:07:06,219 --> 01:07:11,648
How many zombies have you killed? I bet at least 100, right? Or maybe even more like 200!
885
01:07:11,648 --> 01:07:13,315
I haven't had to kill any.
886
01:07:13,315 --> 01:07:14,369
What?
887
01:07:14,369 --> 01:07:21,158
I haven't had to kill any! Because I'm smart. This is stupid. You two, meet me at the door in 10 minutes.
888
01:07:25,150 --> 01:07:26,440
I'm scared.
889
01:07:31,317 --> 01:07:33,317
What's that, Barbie?
890
01:07:33,375 --> 01:07:38,923
Oh, just admiring the trees.
891
01:07:38,923 --> 01:07:41,514
They are pretty.
892
01:07:41,515 --> 01:07:42,924
Sure.
893
01:07:43,279 --> 01:07:45,279
Hey, how much further?
894
01:07:45,519 --> 01:07:46,987
About half a mile.
895
01:07:46,987 --> 01:07:48,987
Do you know if any females would have-
896
01:07:48,987 --> 01:07:50,987
You can have any makeup we find.
897
01:07:51,197 --> 01:07:53,197
Yes!
898
01:07:55,098 --> 01:07:56,930
*zombies groan*
899
01:07:56,930 --> 01:08:02,478
Ew, okay that wasn't me. Pop-tart farts have more of a-
900
01:08:02,479 --> 01:08:04,479
Where are they?
901
01:08:08,307 --> 01:08:13,027
Found them. They can't get us up here though-
902
01:08:14,421 --> 01:08:20,915
Hey, that is so not cool! Ronan, a little help.
903
01:08:20,915 --> 01:08:21,910
Yeah.
904
01:08:21,910 --> 01:08:22,550
No.
905
01:08:25,566 --> 01:08:30,286
Seriously, is it because I said that your arms are bigger than your boobs?
906
01:08:30,286 --> 01:08:32,286
I mean, that's just a fact.
907
01:08:32,410 --> 01:08:34,883
I'm just seeing if you were telling the truth.
908
01:08:36,952 --> 01:08:40,844
Garth said you wouldn't shove me into a horde of zombies!
909
01:08:40,844 --> 01:08:43,081
Well, that's stupid.
910
01:08:43,613 --> 01:08:45,613
Can I have the gun now?
911
01:08:45,613 --> 01:08:48,323
No, you have a bat.
912
01:08:49,565 --> 01:08:50,619
Fine.
913
01:08:55,021 --> 01:08:57,021
Hey, watch it! Ronan Junior!
914
01:08:57,589 --> 01:09:00,772
Oh God, oh God, beans!
915
01:09:05,689 --> 01:09:07,334
Now can you help me up?
916
01:09:07,334 --> 01:09:08,447
Yeah, come on.
917
01:09:08,448 --> 01:09:10,448
That literally proved nothing.
918
01:09:10,532 --> 01:09:13,360
Seriously, that didn't prove that I'm useful?
919
01:09:14,010 --> 01:09:16,010
*gunshot*
920
01:09:16,604 --> 01:09:18,604
Why did you do that?
921
01:09:18,941 --> 01:09:22,892
Show us that zombies won't eat you and then we'll pull you up.
922
01:09:22,892 --> 01:09:24,892
I already killed all the zombies.
923
01:09:24,975 --> 01:09:31,114
I've been thinking. Can you really kill a zombie?
924
01:09:31,114 --> 01:09:38,850
OMG, I thought about that too! Like aren't they already considered dead, or are they the undead? So like what does that-
925
01:09:38,850 --> 01:09:40,850
Why are you all so rude?
926
01:09:41,783 --> 01:09:46,325
Ugh, this is so stupid. Griffin, please let me up. Griffin, please!
927
01:09:46,325 --> 01:09:48,325
Well, alright.
928
01:09:48,325 --> 01:09:49,675
Thank you.
929
01:09:49,675 --> 01:09:50,492
Come on, Kourtney.
930
01:09:50,492 --> 01:09:51,664
No, Ronan.
931
01:09:51,664 --> 01:09:53,073
But they'll-
932
01:09:53,073 --> 01:09:55,310
They'll do nothing to her. Yes, they will.
933
01:09:55,311 --> 01:10:00,267
Wait, you can't leave me! I'm useful! They don't try to-
934
01:10:00,268 --> 01:10:02,978
You are acting like a zombie and are covered in their blood.
935
01:10:02,978 --> 01:10:09,531
If I did the same they wouldn't try to eat me either. Sorry, we don't need you. The cabin is too small for five people.
936
01:10:09,532 --> 01:10:12,064
Griffin, I am not leaving her here!
937
01:10:12,064 --> 01:10:14,064
You will if I say you will.
938
01:10:14,064 --> 01:10:15,414
*Garth clears his throat*
939
01:10:15,414 --> 01:10:16,291
Where did you-
940
01:10:16,291 --> 01:10:21,247
He was my dad. I know his cabin way better than you do. Ronan, help Kourtney up.
941
01:10:21,247 --> 01:10:22,301
Ronan, don't you-
942
01:10:22,301 --> 01:10:23,473
*gun cocks*
943
01:10:25,504 --> 01:10:29,514
Seriously, you chose her over me.
944
01:10:29,514 --> 01:10:31,514
No one should have to be chosen, Griffin.
945
01:10:32,138 --> 01:10:34,138
You let Barbie stay then I'm leaving.
946
01:10:34,317 --> 01:10:35,430
Griffin, it doesn't-
947
01:10:35,430 --> 01:10:37,430
Then leave.
948
01:10:43,084 --> 01:10:50,642
Um, so do I get to come up or not? Like Pam is nice, but she's still a zombie.
949
01:10:50,643 --> 01:10:52,406
Why are you trying to protect her?
950
01:10:52,406 --> 01:10:54,406
Why do you always have to start with violence?
951
01:10:54,406 --> 01:10:55,756
You know why!
952
01:10:56,466 --> 01:10:59,708
So, you followed us?
953
01:11:00,721 --> 01:11:04,081
Yeah, neither of us trusted Griffin with you alone.
954
01:11:04,081 --> 01:11:06,081
Hey, I was there too!
955
01:11:06,140 --> 01:11:08,140
And you were going to help Kourtney?
956
01:11:09,441 --> 01:11:12,387
Well, no but- no offense, Kourt.
957
01:11:13,037 --> 01:11:15,569
It's all good. Thank you.
958
01:11:16,515 --> 01:11:19,461
I figured not letting your cousin kill your best friend is on the list.
959
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:23,123
It's actually not, but thanks anyway.
960
01:11:30,343 --> 01:11:31,870
This is your last chance.
961
01:11:31,870 --> 01:11:33,397
I'm not going with you.
962
01:11:33,397 --> 01:11:34,865
Fine. Garth?
963
01:11:34,865 --> 01:11:37,515
Oh, sorry, no.
964
01:11:37,515 --> 01:11:38,687
Ronan, let's go.
965
01:11:38,687 --> 01:11:42,816
I'm not sure. Where are we going?
966
01:11:42,816 --> 01:11:46,590
To rule the apocalyptic world, where else?
967
01:11:48,719 --> 01:11:50,423
Griffin, I don't think-
968
01:11:50,423 --> 01:11:51,477
Fine.
969
01:11:51,477 --> 01:11:53,477
Bye losers.
970
01:11:56,173 --> 01:12:03,258
Ronan take care of Sabine. Garth try not to die. Barbie, please die.
971
01:12:10,433 --> 01:12:12,433
Wait!
972
01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:22,240
Why didn't you go with her?
973
01:12:22,260 --> 01:12:23,610
She's self-destructive.
974
01:12:23,610 --> 01:12:30,340
Other-destructive too! Why does she hate me so much? I'm likable, right?
975
01:12:30,340 --> 01:12:32,340
No.
976
01:12:32,879 --> 01:12:33,578
Really?
977
01:12:33,578 --> 01:12:36,465
Yes, but that's not why she doesn't like you.
978
01:12:38,069 --> 01:12:40,719
Okay, so why does she hate me?
979
01:12:41,842 --> 01:12:43,192
She just hates your type.
980
01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:48,208
My type? But I'm a hot commodity like Starbucks.
981
01:12:48,208 --> 01:12:51,213
Popular. She hates popular.
982
01:12:51,213 --> 01:12:53,213
Oh, why?
983
01:12:53,693 --> 01:12:55,693
Sorry, that's not my place to tell.
984
01:12:56,635 --> 01:12:58,635
Sabine should go with her.
985
01:12:59,345 --> 01:13:01,345
She's already gone.
986
01:13:11,352 --> 01:13:17,313
If you are hearing this, we have established a safe zone, just past the border of-
987
01:13:17,313 --> 01:13:19,313
*music swells*
72527
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.