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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,839 --> 00:00:02,338 Sync, Edited, Checked by Ikatz 2 00:00:05,652 --> 00:00:07,568 Ooh! Careful, Homer! 3 00:00:07,652 --> 00:00:10,070 There's no time. We're late. 4 00:00:12,444 --> 00:00:14,736 O little town of Bethlehem 5 00:00:14,736 --> 00:00:16,070 O little town of Bethlehem 6 00:00:16,112 --> 00:00:20,821 How still we see the elie 7 00:00:20,946 --> 00:00:23,613 -Excuse me. Pardon me. 8 00:00:23,738 --> 00:00:25,613 - Sorry. Excuse me. - Hey, Norman, how's it goin'? 9 00:00:25,738 --> 00:00:27,613 So you got dragged down here too, huh? 10 00:00:27,738 --> 00:00:29,614 - How you doin', Fred? - Sorry. Excuse me. 11 00:00:29,739 --> 00:00:31,614 - Yeah. 'Scuse me. Oh! 12 00:00:31,739 --> 00:00:34,907 Pardon my galoshes. 13 00:00:34,907 --> 00:00:39,532 Are met in thee tonight 14 00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:44,117 Wasn't that wonderful? 15 00:00:44,117 --> 00:00:48,284 And now "Santas of many lands," 16 00:00:48,409 --> 00:00:51,909 as presented by the entire second grade class. 17 00:00:52,034 --> 00:00:54,535 Oh! Lisa's class. 18 00:00:54,618 --> 00:00:56,910 Frohliche Weihnachten. 19 00:00:57,035 --> 00:00:59,536 That's German for " Merry Christmas." 20 00:00:59,536 --> 00:01:05,036 In Germany, Santa's servant Ruprecht gives presents to good children... 21 00:01:05,121 --> 00:01:08,286 and whipping rods to the parents of bad ones. 22 00:01:11,746 --> 00:01:13,579 Merry Kurisumasu. 23 00:01:13,705 --> 00:01:19,039 I am Hotseiosha, a japanese priest who acts like Santa Claus. 24 00:01:19,123 --> 00:01:21,622 I have eyes in the back ofmy head... 25 00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:24,999 so children better behave when I'm nearby. 26 00:01:27,124 --> 00:01:30,290 Now presenting Lisa Simpson... 27 00:01:30,416 --> 00:01:35,709 as Tawanga, the Santa Claus of the South Seas. 28 00:01:35,792 --> 00:01:37,709 Ooh, it's Lisa! That's ours. 29 00:01:51,794 --> 00:01:56,004 Ah, the fourth grade will now favor us with a melody-- 30 00:01:56,087 --> 00:01:59,670 Uh, medley of holiday "flavorites." 31 00:01:59,795 --> 00:02:02,296 Dashing through the snow 32 00:02:02,379 --> 00:02:04,796 In a one-horse open sleigh 33 00:02:04,879 --> 00:02:06,797 O'er the fields we go 34 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,964 Laughing all the way Ha ha ha 35 00:02:09,089 --> 00:02:11,172 Bells on bobtail ring 36 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,464 - Isn't Bart sweet, Homer? 37 00:02:14,589 --> 00:02:17,756 He sings like an angel. 38 00:02:17,881 --> 00:02:21,257 Oh, jingle bells Batman smells 39 00:02:21,382 --> 00:02:23,257 Robin laid an egg 40 00:02:23,382 --> 00:02:25,466 The Batmobile broke its wheel 41 00:02:25,550 --> 00:02:27,758 The joker got awa-- 42 00:02:27,758 --> 00:02:29,967 Jingle bells Jingle bells 43 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,968 Jingle all 44 00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:34,259 The fifth grade will now favour us... 45 00:02:34,259 --> 00:02:39,343 with a scene from Charles, uh, Dickens' A Christmas Carol. 46 00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:44,012 How many grades does this school have? 47 00:02:44,053 --> 00:02:47,678 " Dear friends of the Simpson family, 48 00:02:47,761 --> 00:02:50,929 "We had some sadness and some gladness this year. 49 00:02:51,054 --> 00:02:53,429 " First, the sadness. Our little cat Snowball... 50 00:02:53,554 --> 00:02:56,680 "was unexpectedly run over and went to kitty heaven. 51 00:02:56,722 --> 00:02:59,346 "But we bought a new little cat, Snowball I. 52 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:02,180 "So I guess life goes on. 53 00:03:02,222 --> 00:03:06,973 "Speaking of life going on, Grandpa's still with us, feisty as ever. 54 00:03:07,015 --> 00:03:08,974 " Maggie is walking by herself, 55 00:03:09,016 --> 00:03:12,682 "Lisa got straight A's, and Bart-- 56 00:03:12,724 --> 00:03:15,182 "Well, we love Bart. 57 00:03:15,224 --> 00:03:18,182 "The magic of the season has touched us all. 58 00:03:18,224 --> 00:03:20,475 Marge, haven't you finished that stupid letter yet? 59 00:03:20,475 --> 00:03:23,726 - " Homer sends his love. Happy holidays. - Marge! 60 00:03:23,851 --> 00:03:26,143 - The Simpsons." - Marge, where's the extension cord? 61 00:03:26,226 --> 00:03:29,019 For heaven's sake, Homer. It's in the utility drawer. 62 00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:31,518 Sorry. I'm just a big kid. 63 00:03:31,643 --> 00:03:33,895 And I love Christmas so much. 64 00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:38,020 D'oh! 65 00:03:38,145 --> 00:03:40,186 All right, children, let me have those letters. 66 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:43,145 I'll send them to Santa's workshop at the North Pole. 67 00:03:43,145 --> 00:03:45,187 Oh, please. There's only one fat guy that brings us presents, 68 00:03:45,187 --> 00:03:47,187 and his name ain't Santa. 69 00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:50,522 Uh- - A pony? 70 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:54,188 Oh, Lisa, you've asked for that for the last three years, 71 00:03:54,314 --> 00:03:57,815 and I keep telling you Santa can't fit a pony into his sleigh. 72 00:03:57,940 --> 00:03:59,815 Can't you take a hint? 73 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,815 But I really want a pony, 74 00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:05,107 - and I've been really good this year. - Oh, dear. 75 00:04:05,232 --> 00:04:07,941 Maybe Bart is a little more realistic. 76 00:04:08,025 --> 00:04:09,901 - A tattoo? - A what? 77 00:04:10,026 --> 00:04:12,317 Yeah! They're cool, and they last the rest of your life. 78 00:04:12,317 --> 00:04:15,109 you will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas. 79 00:04:15,234 --> 00:04:18,401 Yeah. If you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your allowance. 80 00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:19,902 - All right! - Homer! 81 00:04:19,902 --> 00:04:21,903 - "Yello." 82 00:04:21,903 --> 00:04:23,903 - Marge, please. - Who's this? 83 00:04:24,028 --> 00:04:25,903 May I please speak to Marge? 84 00:04:25,986 --> 00:04:28,820 - This is her sister, isn't it? - Is Marge there? 85 00:04:28,904 --> 00:04:32,320 - Who shall I say is calling? - Marge, please. 86 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,613 It's your sister. Oh! 87 00:04:35,696 --> 00:04:38,196 - Hello. - Hello, Marge. It's Patty. 88 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:42,780 Selma and I couldn't be more excited about seeing our sister Christmas Eve. 89 00:04:42,906 --> 00:04:46,907 Well, Homer and I are looking forward to your visit too. 90 00:04:48,907 --> 00:04:51,364 Somehow I doubt that Homer is excited. 91 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,365 of all the men you could've married, 92 00:04:53,491 --> 00:04:56,365 I don't know why you picked one who's always so rude to us. 93 00:04:56,491 --> 00:04:58,783 - Good one, Dad. 94 00:04:58,867 --> 00:05:01,575 Okay, kids, prepare to be dazzled. 95 00:05:01,658 --> 00:05:04,367 Marge, turn on the juice! 96 00:05:06,868 --> 00:05:09,284 - What do you think, kids? 97 00:05:09,367 --> 00:05:11,285 - Nice try, Dad. 98 00:05:11,368 --> 00:05:13,577 Just hold your horses, son. Hey, Simpson! 99 00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:17,453 - What is it, Flanders? - Do you think this looks okay? 100 00:05:17,453 --> 00:05:21,244 Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. 101 00:05:21,369 --> 00:05:22,746 - Oh! - Oh, neato! 102 00:05:22,871 --> 00:05:25,287 It's too bright. 103 00:05:25,370 --> 00:05:27,662 I oughta-- Flanders. What a big show-off. 104 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,288 - Kids, wanna go Christmas shopping? - I do! 105 00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:35,831 - All right! The mall! - Go get your money. 106 00:05:35,956 --> 00:05:39,164 Tell us, Marge. Where have you been hiding the Christmas money? 107 00:05:39,289 --> 00:05:41,957 Oh, I have my secrets. 108 00:05:42,081 --> 00:05:44,081 Turn around. 109 00:05:47,082 --> 00:05:50,625 - you can look now. - Ooh! Big jar this year. 110 00:06:10,252 --> 00:06:12,253 Oh, Bart, that's so sweet. 111 00:06:12,253 --> 00:06:14,754 It's the best present a mother could get, 112 00:06:14,837 --> 00:06:17,296 and it makes you look so dangerous. 113 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:22,129 - One " Mother," please. 114 00:06:22,254 --> 00:06:24,130 Wait a minute. How old are you? 115 00:06:24,255 --> 00:06:26,255 - Twenty-one, sir. - Get in the chair. 116 00:06:32,548 --> 00:06:34,423 Mm-hmm. 117 00:06:34,548 --> 00:06:37,424 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 118 00:06:37,549 --> 00:06:40,424 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 119 00:06:40,549 --> 00:06:43,133 Attention, all personnel, please keep working... 120 00:06:43,217 --> 00:06:45,133 during the following announcement. 121 00:06:45,217 --> 00:06:48,718 And now our boss and friend Mr. Burns. 122 00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:51,134 Hello. I'm proud to announce... 123 00:06:51,218 --> 00:06:54,135 that we've been able to increase safety here at the plant... 124 00:06:54,219 --> 00:06:56,427 without increasing the cost to the consumer... 125 00:06:56,511 --> 00:06:58,719 or affecting management payraises. 126 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:01,804 However, for you semiskilled workers, 127 00:07:01,804 --> 00:07:03,804 there will be no Christmas bonuses. 128 00:07:03,804 --> 00:07:07,429 - Oh, and one more thing. 129 00:07:07,513 --> 00:07:09,429 Merry Christmas! 130 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:13,013 - Oh, thank God for the big jar. 131 00:07:15,305 --> 00:07:18,305 - Where's that Bart? 132 00:07:24,390 --> 00:07:28,391 But, Mom, I thought you'd like it. 133 00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:32,974 Yes, Mrs. Simpson, we can remove your son's tattoo. 134 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,475 It's a simple routine involving lasers. 135 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,892 - Cool! - However, it is rather expensive, 136 00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:40,685 and we must insist on a cash payment up front. 137 00:07:40,768 --> 00:07:42,893 - Cash? - Mm-hmm. 138 00:07:42,893 --> 00:07:45,893 Thank God for Homer's Christmas bonus. 139 00:07:47,686 --> 00:07:51,269 - Ay, caramba! - Now, whatever you do, don't squirm. 140 00:07:51,395 --> 00:07:55,396 you don't wanna get this sucker near your eye or your groin. 141 00:07:57,479 --> 00:08:01,062 - Ow! Quit it. 142 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,063 Ow! Quit it. 143 00:08:03,188 --> 00:08:05,063 Ow! Quit it. 144 00:08:05,146 --> 00:08:07,564 - Ow! Quit it. - Hey, what's with this? 145 00:08:07,564 --> 00:08:11,356 Ow! Quit it! Used to be a real boss tattoo. 146 00:08:11,523 --> 00:08:14,774 Mom had to spend the Christmas money having it surgically removed. 147 00:08:14,898 --> 00:08:17,565 Huh? 148 00:08:18,691 --> 00:08:21,692 It's true! 149 00:08:21,733 --> 00:08:25,441 The jar is empty! Oh, my God! 150 00:08:25,441 --> 00:08:27,900 We're ruined. Christmas is canceled. 151 00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:30,067 No presents for anyone! 152 00:08:30,192 --> 00:08:33,901 Don't worry, Homer. We'll just have to stretch your Christmas bonus... 153 00:08:33,901 --> 00:08:36,235 - even further this year. 154 00:08:36,235 --> 00:08:39,444 - Homer? - Oh, yeah. My Christmas bonus. 155 00:08:39,569 --> 00:08:42,236 How silly of me. 156 00:08:42,361 --> 00:08:45,362 This'll be the best Christmas yet. 157 00:08:45,362 --> 00:08:47,362 The best any family ever had. 158 00:08:51,071 --> 00:08:53,071 Hohoho. 159 00:08:54,113 --> 00:08:56,239 Hohoho. 160 00:08:57,406 --> 00:09:00,072 Hohoho. 161 00:09:01,364 --> 00:09:04,573 Ho ho ho. 162 00:09:04,657 --> 00:09:06,573 Hohoho. 163 00:09:09,366 --> 00:09:12,865 Hmm. I get the feeling there's something you haven't told me, Homer. 164 00:09:12,907 --> 00:09:16,659 - Huh? Oh. I love you, Marge. - you tell me that all the time. 165 00:09:16,659 --> 00:09:18,866 Oh, good, because I do love you. 166 00:09:18,908 --> 00:09:22,034 I don't deserve you as much as a guy with a fat wallet... 167 00:09:22,034 --> 00:09:24,909 and a credit card that won't set off that horrible beeping. 168 00:09:25,034 --> 00:09:28,244 I think it does have something to do with your Christmas bonus. 169 00:09:28,327 --> 00:09:30,244 I keep asking for it, but-- 170 00:09:30,327 --> 00:09:33,828 Marge, um, let me be honest with you. 171 00:09:33,911 --> 00:09:38,078 - Yes? - Well, I would-- 172 00:09:41,829 --> 00:09:44,538 I-- I wanna do the Christmas shopping this year. 173 00:09:44,538 --> 00:09:47,205 Uh, sure, okay. 174 00:09:51,038 --> 00:09:54,331 Marge, Marge. Hmm. Let'ssee. 175 00:09:54,415 --> 00:09:56,623 Ooh, look! 176 00:09:56,707 --> 00:10:00,124 Pantyhose. Practical and alluring. 177 00:10:00,207 --> 00:10:03,499 A six-pack. Oh! Only 4.99. 178 00:10:03,499 --> 00:10:05,709 Ooh! Pads of paper. 179 00:10:05,791 --> 00:10:09,000 I bet Bart can think of a million things to do with these. 180 00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:12,501 That just leaves little Maggie. Oh, look! 181 00:10:12,585 --> 00:10:14,585 A little squeak toy. 182 00:10:14,585 --> 00:10:17,586 It says it's for dogs, but she can't read. 183 00:10:18,586 --> 00:10:21,711 Ow! Oh, Simpson, it's you. 184 00:10:21,793 --> 00:10:25,378 - Hello, Flanders. - Oh, my! What a mess we've got here. 185 00:10:25,503 --> 00:10:27,878 Well, which ones are yours and which ones are mine? 186 00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:31,170 - Well, let's see. - Oh, this one's mine. This one's mine. 187 00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:33,795 - This one's mine, and this-- - They're all yours! 188 00:10:33,795 --> 00:10:36,963 - Hey, you dropped your pork chop. 189 00:10:37,088 --> 00:10:40,673 - Gimme that! - Well, happy holidays, Simpson. 190 00:10:40,797 --> 00:10:45,298 - Gee, this is the best Christmas ever. - You bet. 191 00:10:54,799 --> 00:10:58,884 What's the matter, Homer? Somebody leave a lump of coal in your stocking? 192 00:10:58,967 --> 00:11:01,175 You've been sitting there, sucking on a beer all day long. 193 00:11:01,301 --> 00:11:03,551 - So? - So, it's Christmas. 194 00:11:03,676 --> 00:11:07,343 - Thanks, Moe. 195 00:11:07,510 --> 00:11:09,343 Drinks all around! 196 00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:11,344 What's with the crazy getup, Barn? 197 00:11:11,511 --> 00:11:16,011 I got me a part-timejob working as a Santa down at the mall. 198 00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:17,970 Wow! Can I do that? 199 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:20,845 I don't know. They're pretty selective. 200 00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:22,845 Do you like children? 201 00:11:22,970 --> 00:11:26,263 What do you mean? All the time? Even when they're nuts? 202 00:11:26,346 --> 00:11:29,847 - Hmm. - Uh, I certainly do. 203 00:11:29,972 --> 00:11:31,847 Welcome aboard, Simpson. 204 00:11:31,972 --> 00:11:34,598 Pending your successful completion of our training program, that is. 205 00:11:34,598 --> 00:11:37,848 Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. 206 00:11:37,973 --> 00:11:40,848 Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. 207 00:11:40,848 --> 00:11:44,016 - What is it now, Simpson? - Uh, when do we get paid? 208 00:11:44,183 --> 00:11:47,683 Not a dime till Christmas Eve! Now, from the top. 209 00:11:47,766 --> 00:11:51,641 Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. 210 00:11:51,766 --> 00:11:54,642 Um, Dasher. 211 00:11:54,767 --> 00:11:57,351 - Dancer. - Mm-hmm. 212 00:11:57,351 --> 00:11:59,518 - Prancer. - Mm-hmm. 213 00:11:59,642 --> 00:12:01,519 Nixon. 214 00:12:01,643 --> 00:12:04,935 Comet and... Cupid. 215 00:12:05,019 --> 00:12:06,936 - Donna Dixon? - Sit down, Simpson. 216 00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:08,936 And what would you like, little boy? 217 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:11,437 - You're not really Santa, tubby. - Why, you little egghead! 218 00:12:11,437 --> 00:12:14,146 No, Homer! If such an emergency arises, 219 00:12:14,146 --> 00:12:17,021 you just tell them Santa's vey busy this time of year, 220 00:12:17,021 --> 00:12:20,730 - and you are one of his helpers. - Oh, I knew that one too! 221 00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:26,231 Homer, why are you seven hours late? 222 00:12:26,315 --> 00:12:29,231 Not a word, Marge. I'm heading straight for the tub. 223 00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:31,232 But, Homer, my sisters are here. 224 00:12:31,232 --> 00:12:33,441 - Don't you wanna say hello? 225 00:12:35,815 --> 00:12:38,608 - Daddy! We're so glad to see you! - Oh, Dad, you're finally home! 226 00:12:38,733 --> 00:12:42,108 What? Why? Oh, yeah. 227 00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:44,817 Hello, Patty. Hello, Selma. 228 00:12:44,901 --> 00:12:47,234 - How was your trip? - Fine. 229 00:12:47,318 --> 00:12:49,527 - you both look well. - Thank you. 230 00:12:49,610 --> 00:12:52,818 - Yeah, well, Merry Christmas. - It's Christmas? 231 00:12:52,818 --> 00:12:55,694 - you wouldn't know it around here. - And why is that? 232 00:12:55,819 --> 00:12:59,819 - For one thing, there's no tree - I was just on my way out to get one! 233 00:12:59,903 --> 00:13:01,612 - Can we go too, Dad? - Yeah, can we? 234 00:13:01,695 --> 00:13:02,904 No! 235 00:13:02,987 --> 00:13:05,612 Sleighbells ring 236 00:13:05,612 --> 00:13:08,238 Are you listening 237 00:13:08,238 --> 00:13:10,988 In the lane 238 00:13:10,988 --> 00:13:13,614 Snow is glistening 239 00:13:13,614 --> 00:13:16,989 A beautiful sight 240 00:13:16,989 --> 00:13:19,990 We're happy tonight 241 00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:23,573 - Walking in a winter wonderland 242 00:13:26,241 --> 00:13:28,492 Hey! What do you think you're doin'? 243 00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,492 - Uh-oh. - Hey! Hey! 244 00:13:30,574 --> 00:13:32,658 - Come back here! 245 00:13:35,409 --> 00:13:38,659 So what do you think, kids? Beauty, isn't it? 246 00:13:38,659 --> 00:13:41,618 - Wow! Yay, Dad! - Way to go, Dad! 247 00:13:41,659 --> 00:13:45,453 - Why is there a birdhouse in it? - Uh, that's an ornament. 248 00:13:45,577 --> 00:13:47,911 Do I smell gunpowder? 249 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,745 and then I want some Robotoids. 250 00:13:50,912 --> 00:13:52,953 And then I want a Goop Monster. 251 00:13:53,079 --> 00:13:54,953 And then I want a great big, giant-- 252 00:13:55,079 --> 00:13:56,954 Aw, son, you don't need all that junk. 253 00:13:57,121 --> 00:14:00,205 I'm sure you've already got something much more important-- 254 00:14:00,288 --> 00:14:04,789 a decent home and a loving father who would do anything for you. 255 00:14:04,914 --> 00:14:07,580 Hey, I couldn't afford lunch. Give me a bite of that donut. 256 00:14:10,457 --> 00:14:12,457 Get a load of that quote-unquote Santa. 257 00:14:12,581 --> 00:14:14,791 I can't believe those kids are falling for it. 258 00:14:14,791 --> 00:14:16,957 Hey, Milhouse, I dare you to sit on his lap. 259 00:14:17,083 --> 00:14:21,583 - I dare you to yank his beard off. - Ah, touche. 260 00:14:21,625 --> 00:14:23,583 I hope you feel better, Santa. 261 00:14:23,625 --> 00:14:26,125 Oh, I will when Mrs. Claus' sisters get outta town. 262 00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:28,126 Thanks for listenin', kid. 263 00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:32,126 Hey, Santa, what's shakin', man? 264 00:14:32,251 --> 00:14:35,960 What's your name, Bart... ner? Uh, little partner? 265 00:14:36,086 --> 00:14:39,253 - I'm Bart Simpson. Who are you? - I'm jolly Old St. Nick. 266 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,753 Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that. 267 00:14:41,878 --> 00:14:44,461 D'oh! 268 00:14:44,544 --> 00:14:48,338 - Homer! - A word with you in Santa's workshop. 269 00:14:48,462 --> 00:14:51,755 - Cover for me, Elfie. - I didn't know it was you. 270 00:14:51,838 --> 00:14:53,838 Nobody knows. It's a secret. 271 00:14:53,838 --> 00:14:55,838 I didn't get my bonus this year. 272 00:14:55,838 --> 00:14:58,131 But to keep the family from missing out on Christmas, 273 00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,048 - I'd do anything. - I'll say, Dad. 274 00:15:00,131 --> 00:15:03,340 you must really love us to sink so low. 275 00:15:04,757 --> 00:15:06,632 Now, let's not get mushy, son. 276 00:15:06,757 --> 00:15:08,757 I still have a job to do. 277 00:15:08,757 --> 00:15:10,758 Hey, little ones. Santa's back. 278 00:15:10,841 --> 00:15:12,841 Ho ho- - D'oh! 279 00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:15,717 Damn it to-- 280 00:15:15,842 --> 00:15:18,051 Ah, son, one day you're gonna know... 281 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:20,051 the satisfaction of payday. 282 00:15:20,051 --> 00:15:23,426 Receiving a big fat check for a job well done. 283 00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:25,426 Simpson, Homer? Here ya go. 284 00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:30,011 Come on, son. Let's go cash this baby and get presents for-- 285 00:15:30,011 --> 00:15:32,928 Thirteen bucks? Hey, wait a minute. 286 00:15:33,011 --> 00:15:34,929 That's right. $120 gross. 287 00:15:35,012 --> 00:15:36,929 Less Social Security, less unemployment insurance, 288 00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:39,012 - less Santa training... - Santa training? 289 00:15:39,012 --> 00:15:41,013 less costume purchase, less beard rental, less Christmas club. 290 00:15:41,097 --> 00:15:43,222 - But-- But-- - See ya next year. 291 00:15:43,347 --> 00:15:46,430 - Ohh! - Come on, Dad. Let's go home. 292 00:15:46,430 --> 00:15:48,390 Thirteen bucks? 293 00:15:48,390 --> 00:15:50,722 you can't get anything for 13 bucks. 294 00:15:50,847 --> 00:15:53,848 Allright! Thirteen bigones! 295 00:15:53,890 --> 00:15:56,015 Springfield Downs, here I come! 296 00:15:56,015 --> 00:15:58,349 - What? - you heard me. 297 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:00,350 I'm goin' to the dog track. 298 00:16:00,391 --> 00:16:02,391 I got a hot little puppy in the fourth race. 299 00:16:02,516 --> 00:16:04,516 - Wanna come? - Sory, Barney. 300 00:16:04,516 --> 00:16:07,850 I may be a total washout as a father, but I'm not gonna take my kid... 301 00:16:07,892 --> 00:16:10,184 to a sleazy dog track on Christmas Eve. 302 00:16:10,351 --> 00:16:14,018 Come on, Simpson. The dog's name is Whirlwind. 303 00:16:14,102 --> 00:16:16,518 Ten-to-one shot. Money in the bank. 304 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,519 - Uh-uh. - Ah, come on, Dad. 305 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,394 This can be the miracle that saves the Simpsons' Christmas. 306 00:16:21,519 --> 00:16:23,395 If TV has taught me anything, 307 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,520 it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. 308 00:16:26,561 --> 00:16:30,313 It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, 309 00:16:30,354 --> 00:16:32,354 it happened to the Smurfs and it's gonna happen to us. 310 00:16:34,021 --> 00:16:37,522 Well, okay, let's go. Who's Tiny Tim? 311 00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,064 Hey, Moldy, do you think Santa will be able to find... 312 00:16:41,064 --> 00:16:43,523 ElfCounty under all this snow? 313 00:16:43,565 --> 00:16:48,316 I doubt it, Bubbles. We'll be sad little elves this Christmas. 314 00:16:48,399 --> 00:16:50,316 - Oh, no! - Oh, brother. 315 00:16:50,399 --> 00:16:52,399 - Where's your husband? - Yeah. It's getting late. 316 00:16:52,482 --> 00:16:55,067 Said he went caroling with Bart. 317 00:16:55,192 --> 00:16:59,067 We're in the money, we're in the money 318 00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:02,401 We got a lot of what it takes to get along 319 00:17:02,484 --> 00:17:04,568 I can't believe I'm doing this. 320 00:17:04,693 --> 00:17:07,694 Can we open our presents now, Dad? 321 00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:10,735 you know the tradition, son. Not till the eighth race. 322 00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:13,070 Hey, Barney, which one is Whirlwind? 323 00:17:13,195 --> 00:17:17,070 Number Six. That's our lucky dog right over there. 324 00:17:17,195 --> 00:17:19,654 He's won his last five races. 325 00:17:19,654 --> 00:17:22,154 What? That scrawny little bag of bones? 326 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,864 Come on, Dad. They're all scrawny little bags of bones. 327 00:17:24,989 --> 00:17:27,363 Yeah, you're right. 328 00:17:27,488 --> 00:17:30,781 I guess Whirlwind is our only hope for a Merry Christmas. 329 00:17:30,865 --> 00:17:33,156 Attention, racing fans, we have a late scratch... 330 00:17:33,156 --> 00:17:35,156 in the fourth race. 331 00:17:35,156 --> 00:17:38,241 Number 8, Sir Galahad will be replaced by Santa's Little Helper. 332 00:17:38,365 --> 00:17:42,365 Once again, Sir Galahad has been replaced by Santa's Little Helper. 333 00:17:42,448 --> 00:17:44,449 Bart, did you hear that? 334 00:17:44,449 --> 00:17:46,449 What a name! Santa's Little Helper! 335 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:50,367 - It's a sign! It's an omen! - It's a coincidence, Dad. 336 00:17:50,367 --> 00:17:53,450 - What are the odds on Santa's Little Helper? - Ninety-nine to one. 337 00:17:53,534 --> 00:17:59,160 Wow! Ninety-nine times thirteen equals... Merry Christmas! 338 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,162 I got a bad feeling about this. 339 00:18:01,245 --> 00:18:03,120 - Don't you believe in me, son? - Uh-- 340 00:18:03,286 --> 00:18:06,286 Come on, boy. Sometimes your faith is all that keeps me going. 341 00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:11,287 Oh, go for it, Dad. 342 00:18:11,328 --> 00:18:15,122 That's my boy! Eveything on Santa's Little Helper. 343 00:18:15,122 --> 00:18:17,538 Three cheers for Brainy! 344 00:18:17,538 --> 00:18:20,123 - Hip hip hooray! - Yay! 345 00:18:20,206 --> 00:18:22,123 Unadulterated pap. 346 00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:24,706 It's almost 9:00. Where's Homer anyway? 347 00:18:24,706 --> 00:18:27,707 It's so typical of the big doof us to spoil it all. 348 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,999 - What, Aunt Patty? - Oh, nothing, dear. 349 00:18:30,124 --> 00:18:32,125 I'm just trashing your father. 350 00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:34,125 Well, I wish you wouldn't... 351 00:18:34,125 --> 00:18:38,500 because aside from the fact he has the same frailties as all human belings. 352 00:18:38,625 --> 00:18:40,500 he's the only father I have. 353 00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:43,292 Therefore, he is my model of manhood, 354 00:18:43,459 --> 00:18:47,793 and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. 355 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,627 So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me, 356 00:18:51,627 --> 00:18:56,004 and I'm far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts. 357 00:18:57,129 --> 00:19:00,295 Mm-hmm. Go watch your cartoon show, dear. 358 00:19:00,295 --> 00:19:02,296 Come on, Bart. 359 00:19:02,296 --> 00:19:05,130 Kiss the ticket for good luck, not that we need it. 360 00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:10,797 Here comes Screwy the mechanical rabbit. 361 00:19:10,797 --> 00:19:12,422 - and they're off! 362 00:19:12,464 --> 00:19:15,673 - Come on, Santa's Little Helper! - Come on, dog! Go, man, go! 363 00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:18,923 It's Whirlwind in the lane, and coming up on the left is Quadruped, 364 00:19:18,965 --> 00:19:21,133 followed by Dog O'War and Fido. 365 00:19:21,175 --> 00:19:24,175 - Go! Come on, boy! - Go! Come on, get that rabbit! 366 00:19:24,299 --> 00:19:26,800 Dog O'War coming up fast on the outside. 367 00:19:26,925 --> 00:19:28,925 - Come on, Santa's Little Helper! - Come on, dog! Go, man, go! 368 00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:32,175 And with a lock on last place, it's Santa's Little Helper. 369 00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:36,010 - Don't worry, Dad. 370 00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:39,302 Maybe this is just for suspense before the miracle happens. 371 00:19:39,343 --> 00:19:42,802 - Come on, you stupid dog! Come on! - Go, go! 372 00:19:42,844 --> 00:19:45,095 - Run! Run! - Run, run! Come on, get that rabbit! 373 00:19:45,178 --> 00:19:47,887 - Go, go, Santa's Little Helper! Run! - Go, go, go! 374 00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:52,179 Whirlwind by a countrymile, second, ChewMyShoe, followed by Dog O'War. 375 00:19:52,304 --> 00:19:54,679 Oh, jeez! 376 00:19:54,679 --> 00:19:58,097 Doesn't seem possible, but I guess TV has betrayed me. 377 00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:00,680 I don't wanna leave till our dog finishes. 378 00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:07,765 Ah, forget it. Let's go. 379 00:20:16,975 --> 00:20:19,683 - Find any winners, son? - Sory, Dad. 380 00:20:19,767 --> 00:20:22,768 Hey, hey, Simpson! What'dl tell you? 381 00:20:22,768 --> 00:20:26,060 Whirlwind! Let's go, Daria. 382 00:20:30,769 --> 00:20:33,936 Beat it! Scram! Get lost! 383 00:20:34,062 --> 00:20:36,770 - you came in last for the last time! 384 00:20:36,853 --> 00:20:39,144 Look, Dad, it's Santa's Little Helper. 385 00:20:39,269 --> 00:20:42,145 And don't come back! 386 00:20:42,145 --> 00:20:44,729 Oh, no, you don't! No, no! Get away from me! Uh-uh! 387 00:20:47,938 --> 00:20:50,521 Oh, can we keep him, Dad, please? 388 00:20:50,646 --> 00:20:53,939 But he's a loser! He's pathetic! He's-- 389 00:20:56,065 --> 00:20:58,065 A Simpson. 390 00:21:01,148 --> 00:21:03,732 Hmm. Maybe I should call the police. 391 00:21:03,815 --> 00:21:07,067 - Oh, he'll sober up. - Yeah. Come staggering home. 392 00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:09,316 Mm-hmm. Smelling of cheap perfume. 393 00:21:09,316 --> 00:21:11,567 - Homer! 394 00:21:11,609 --> 00:21:14,233 - What? What the-- Who the-- - Look, eveybody, 395 00:21:14,317 --> 00:21:17,902 - I have a confession to make. - This should be good. 396 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:20,401 I didn't get my Christmas bonus. 397 00:21:20,568 --> 00:21:23,235 I tried not to let it ruin Christmas for eveybody, 398 00:21:23,361 --> 00:21:25,235 but no matter what I did-- 399 00:21:25,361 --> 00:21:28,862 - Hey, eveybody, lookwhat we got! 400 00:21:28,862 --> 00:21:31,737 A dog! All right, Dad! 401 00:21:31,862 --> 00:21:35,738 - God bless him. - So love at first sight is possible. 402 00:21:35,863 --> 00:21:38,404 And if he runs away, he'll be easy to catch. 403 00:21:38,404 --> 00:21:40,613 Oh, this is the best gift of all, Homer! 404 00:21:40,738 --> 00:21:43,405 - It is? - Yes. Something to share our love... 405 00:21:43,405 --> 00:21:45,405 and frighten prowlers. 406 00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:47,740 - What's his name? - Number 8-- 407 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:50,531 I mean, Santa's Little Helper. 408 00:22:04,075 --> 00:22:06,785 Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer 409 00:22:06,785 --> 00:22:10,034 Had a very shiny nose 410 00:22:10,076 --> 00:22:12,911 And if you ever saw it 411 00:22:13,035 --> 00:22:16,077 - you would even say it glows - Like a light bulb! 412 00:22:16,077 --> 00:22:19,078 -Bart! - All of the other reindeer 413 00:22:19,078 --> 00:22:21,078 Used to laugh and call him names 414 00:22:21,078 --> 00:22:23,078 - Like Shnozzola! -Lisa! 415 00:22:23,078 --> 00:22:25,412 They never let poor Rudolph 416 00:22:25,496 --> 00:22:28,287 - Join in any reindeergames -Like strippoker! 417 00:22:28,412 --> 00:22:31,789 -I'm warning you two! - Then one foggy Christmas Eve 418 00:22:31,914 --> 00:22:34,914 - Santa came to say - Take it, Homer! 419 00:22:34,914 --> 00:22:38,414 Uh, Rudolph get your nose over here 420 00:22:38,498 --> 00:22:41,997 - So you can guide my sleigh today - Oh, Homer. 421 00:22:41,997 --> 00:22:44,874 Then all the reindeer loved him 422 00:22:44,874 --> 00:22:47,998 and they shouted out with glee 423 00:22:48,082 --> 00:22:50,875 Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer 424 00:22:50,999 --> 00:22:54,584 You'll go down in history 425 00:22:54,584 --> 00:22:56,167 -Like Attila the Hu-- - You little-- 32398

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