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00:00:04,704 --> 00:00:08,814
- ♪ Now as our pooryoung lungs deflate ♪
2
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:12,745
♪ I'll admitI've gotten older ♪
3
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:18,516
♪ Mellowed out, chatting upthose I used to hate ♪
4
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:21,015
♪ ♪
5
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:25,387
♪ The feeling thatwe're lost will always fade ♪
6
00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:29,562
♪ I present no explanation ♪
7
00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:33,172
♪ Can't expectour tired patience ♪
8
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:37,443
♪ To satiate for long ♪
9
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:41,267
♪ Therein lies a truthwe can sip when we want ♪
10
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:47,784
♪ Disciples of the flow,we can float anywhere ♪
11
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,781
- Oh, so hot.
Oh, so sweaty.
12
00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:54,054
Sweat dripping off
of my 10-year-old Johnson.
13
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,394
This is not worth the $40.
14
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,116
- Oh, Tommy, thank you so much.
15
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:00,134
Look at you!
You're such a doll.
16
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,426
- Oh, no problem.
That's gonna be 40 bucks.
17
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,759
- Oh my gosh!
I love your industrious spirit,
18
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:07,134
but here is a plate of brownies
for your trouble.
19
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,243
- What do you mean?
Brownies instead of--
20
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:10,642
- instead of money?
21
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,607
- I'm just a little short
on cash right now.
22
00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:14,635
- I just mowed the lawn
for two hours.
23
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,541
- Sweetheart, you shouldn't be
helping neighbors
24
00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,209
for the money, okay?
You should be helping them
25
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:22,148
for the exchange of goodwill
and good brownies!
26
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,149
Bye-bye, Tommy!
27
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,650
- I'm saying no.
What's happening?
28
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,752
- Bye sweetheart! B-bye!
29
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,661
- "B-bye"?
30
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,416
Oh, what a day.
31
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,731
This is not a quality lawnmower
at all, is it?
32
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:34,933
[truck horn honks]
- Excuse me, kid.
33
00:01:34,994 --> 00:01:36,264
- Me?
34
00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:37,659
- What the hell do you think
you're doing?
35
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,174
- I was just walking home.
36
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,835
- No, what you're doing
is stealing clients
37
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,335
by undercutting my prices.
38
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,837
- Stealing clients? I'm 10.
- Oh-ho!
39
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:51,080
You're one of these kids
who likes to hide behind math!
40
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:52,454
- What's happening?
41
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:53,812
- You're stealing food
from my family.
42
00:01:53,913 --> 00:01:55,183
- No.
- That job...
43
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:56,351
- Stop.
44
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,019
- Could've been
a hot meal...
45
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,988
- Stop.
- On my son's plate.
46
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:01,486
- Hey, Tom.
- Oh, hey, Randy.
47
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:02,688
- Yeah, Tom.
Why did you steal my dinner?
48
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:03,959
- No, you've got it all wrong.
49
00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:05,363
I literally got paid
in brownies.
50
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,988
I didn't even get money.
- Oh!
51
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,703
Great, so you stole my dessert.
That's even worse.
52
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,256
- You steal desserts!
53
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:15,971
A child's reward
for what he does, you steal!
54
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:19,136
[truck horn honking]
55
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:20,865
- What just happened?
56
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,544
- Whoo, Tom,these are incredible!
57
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,183
This is even better than money.
58
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,278
- I don't know about that.
- Tom, if I've taught you
59
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,647
one thing
as a mother, what is it?
60
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:31,716
- You can't eat money?
- Exactly.
61
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:32,988
Keep these brownies coming.
62
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:34,992
[cell phone ringing]
Oh, hang on.
63
00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:36,564
Oh, hi, Denise.
What's up, girl?
64
00:02:37,123 --> 00:02:39,663
Why yes, Tom is mowing lawns
for baked goods.
65
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,056
- Oh, no!
Don't encourage that.
66
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,861
- Will he mow your lawn
for a Bundt cake?
67
00:02:42,962 --> 00:02:44,732
- Give me the phone.
- Of course he will!
68
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,031
We'll put you down
for Saturday.
69
00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:47,232
Take care, Denise.
70
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,743
- Oh my God! Denise!
- Too late.
71
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,465
- Mom, I don't think
you have the authority
72
00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:51,907
to accept jobs on my behalf.
That's against the law.
73
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,465
- Tom, I'm your mom.
74
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,580
I have complete and unchecked
authority over you.
75
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,005
- No, let's call the mayor.
76
00:02:57,076 --> 00:02:58,676
Let's call somebody.
What's going on here?
77
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,175
- Let's call--hey!
Call the mayor.
78
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:02,146
- Oh, my God.
- Hi, Rick.
79
00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:04,015
It's funny you ask, Rick.
Tom is accepting new clients.
80
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:05,553
- No, no, no.
- Sure.
81
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:06,852
Snickerdoodles.
That sounds great.
82
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,090
- Snickerdoodles?
83
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,258
- I'll put you down
for Saturday.
84
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:10,585
- Rick...
85
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,190
- He's gonna love working
for baked goods.
86
00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:15,928
- Woot, woot!
- Kids, follow your dreams.
87
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,259
Good things will happen.
88
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:18,673
Aim high.
89
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:19,871
[applause]
90
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,103
- That was inspiring.
91
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,541
Wow.
Listen to that stuff, kids!
92
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:25,773
Next up to tell us
about their career:
93
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:29,342
He is a landscaper.
He works with mulch and trees.
94
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:32,679
- Oh, no.
- Give it up for Mr. Miller.
95
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:35,215
[applause]
96
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,922
- Kids, remember this face,
97
00:03:39,018 --> 00:03:42,018
because it is
the face of failure.
98
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,758
Look at it!
All of you!
99
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:45,386
Don't avert your eyes!
100
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:49,458
I had a successful business,
and then Tom here...
101
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:50,932
- Oh, no.
Leave me out of this.
102
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:55,200
- ...swooped in and stole
all my clients.
103
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:56,568
- I didn't swoop.
104
00:03:56,636 --> 00:04:00,766
- I can't find work,
and my son can't eat.
105
00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,883
- I'm hungry, Dad.
- Randy, please...
106
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,242
- I'm starving, Papa!
107
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,450
- That felt preplanned.
- I know you are.
108
00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,976
But I can't provide
for my family
109
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,652
because of Tom, Randy.
110
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,490
- All right, listen, everyone.
I feel terrible.
111
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,715
If there's anything I can do,
just say the word.
112
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:17,157
- Can we crash at your house?
We're being evicted.
113
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,327
- No, that's a bit much.
Good luck, though.
114
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,785
Hope you guys find something.
115
00:04:20,893 --> 00:04:22,233
If you need anything,
just say the word.
116
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:23,825
- Can we crash at your house?
117
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,430
- If you need anything
other than shelter,
118
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,068
other than housing...
119
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:29,173
- Tom, you just said,
"If there's anything I can do."
120
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,499
- No, that's
a figure of speech.
121
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:31,903
I was just making small talk.
122
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:34,271
- Small talk?
These people need shelter!
123
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,680
- And isn't your dad in, like,
Myrtle Beach or something,
124
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,646
so you actually have
plenty of room?
125
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,576
- Tom, why do you hate
my dad's business?
126
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:43,918
Why do you hate our family?
Why did you steal my dinner?
127
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:45,183
- All right, you know what?
128
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,745
My mom is not big
on houseguests,
129
00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:48,489
but I feel like
she's gonna understand.
130
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,358
Our home is your home.
131
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:54,686
- You want to have
a belching contest?
132
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:55,864
- [belches]
133
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,632
- That's good!
[belches]
134
00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:58,927
I win again!
135
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:00,928
- How long are you two
staying again?
136
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,770
- There was no end date.
137
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:04,936
Wake up, Tom!
138
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:06,174
- What's happening?
Why? What?
139
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:08,012
- We're playing Jenga!
Come on.
140
00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:09,707
- You woke me up for Jenga?
141
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,049
- What?
"Some pulp"?
142
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,345
Okay, I guess I'm "some happy"
right now.
143
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:15,817
Jesus.
144
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:20,222
- ♪ I'm washing my body
with a great soap ♪
145
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,160
♪ Even though the
American empire's collapsing ♪
146
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,357
- In sports, the InternationalBasketball League was busy
147
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:28,960
last night with several gameson the schedule...
148
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:31,558
- [breaks wind]
149
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,304
- You know what, guys?
Take this the right way,
150
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,967
but I find you people
so annoying,
151
00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:38,566
and I think we need
to wrap this up.
152
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,171
- You're throwing us out?
- Yup.
153
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:42,879
- Even though I have no way
to earn a living?
154
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:45,005
- Look, there's plenty
of jobs out there.
155
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,808
What skills do you have
besides landscaping?
156
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:49,249
- What are your top skills?
- My top skill?
157
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,749
- Yeah.
- Crying.
158
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,090
- Oh, come on.
159
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,345
- That's learnable.
160
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,719
- I don't work well
with others.
161
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,091
- That's a problem.
- I have no grasp
162
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,989
on basic
communication skills, okay?
163
00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:00,388
- That's true.
164
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:01,733
- I also refuse to wear
165
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,258
a uniform or a suit.
166
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,233
- You're really limiting
your options.
167
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,895
- This weekend, we're holdingopen auditions
168
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,400
for "New Jersey's Got Talent"!Come on, Jersey.
169
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:14,944
Show us what you got.Top prize is $1 million!
170
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,709
- That's it. You can sing.
- That's your career.
171
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,278
- Me?
I'm no singer.
172
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,250
- I heard you in the shower.
You're great.
173
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,278
- You think I could sing
professionally?
174
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,594
- If it gets you out
of my house, I really do.
175
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,017
- Me too.
I think you can do it.
176
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:31,288
- Tom will even join you
at the audition
177
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,761
to make sure it goes well.
178
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:33,789
- Oh no, I'm not joining
anyone.
179
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,063
I don't join things.
180
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,628
- Tom, you bankrupted
my father.
181
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:38,729
The least you can do
is tag along and clap.
182
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:40,868
[breaks wind]
183
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,307
- Yo, Tom!
- Oh, Nelson.
184
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,066
Hey, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.
185
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,411
You guys are all auditioning?
186
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,575
- Of course.
- I'm doing my magic act.
187
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:52,884
Watch this.
Whoa!
188
00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:53,945
Oh! A quarter?
189
00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:55,206
- Oh, my God, that was amazing.
190
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:56,651
- Man.
That's magic, brother.
191
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,649
- Principal, what kind of act
do you do?
192
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,151
- It sounds boring, but it's--
193
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,723
I do a tap dance routine
with my dog.
194
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,289
- Wow. Lot of good acts.
Lot of strong acts.
195
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:05,590
- What are you doing, Tom?
196
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,288
I didn't know
you had any talents.
197
00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:09,163
- Oh, I'm not talented, no.
I'm just here to make sure
198
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,962
the landscaper's audition
goes well.
199
00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:12,333
- What?
- He moved into our house
200
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,672
with his son.
Now I'm helping him...
201
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:14,826
- What?
- Reinvent his career.
202
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,174
It's a long story.
203
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,469
- If I had a penny
for all your stories,
204
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,240
I would have a--
ah-oh--a quarter!
205
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:20,565
- That's good.
It gets me every time.
206
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:21,940
- I think I'm ready.
207
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:25,108
- [scatting]
208
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,188
- Thank you for coming in.
- Thank you.
209
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,787
- Next up, I've got
a Mr. Miller.
210
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,356
- Thanks for seeing me.
211
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:42,528
My passion is to write
and sing original songs,
212
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,928
mostly about landscaping.
Here we go.
213
00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:47,868
[moody music]
214
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:53,137
♪ Leaf Blower blow me home ♪
215
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,436
♪ Blow me a mil-- ♪
216
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,507
- Thank you.
Thank you for coming in.
217
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,279
- Oh, you didn't like it?
- Oh, no, no.
218
00:07:58,344 --> 00:07:59,714
You have a lovely voice.
219
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,952
There's just no market
for landscaping ballads.
220
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,184
Just a tough genre,
if you know what I mean.
221
00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:05,453
- At least let the guy
finish the song.
222
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:06,718
He waited for hours.
223
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,219
- And who are you?
224
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,721
- I'm Tom.
I'm his landlord.
225
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,022
- That's funny.
226
00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:13,033
Now, this kid
has an interesting look.
227
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,055
And look at his brother.
What a pair.
228
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,731
- Oh, no, we're not brothers.
229
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,969
- No, yeah, we have
an open disdain for each other.
230
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:22,366
- I love the banter.
What a family.
231
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:23,668
- We're not a family.
232
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:25,806
- But we do live
under the same roof, Tom.
233
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,372
- Yeah.
We don't like each other.
234
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:30,243
There's constant discontent.
We're a family.
235
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,653
- What if you do this act,
but as a boy band?
236
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:33,912
- What? No.
237
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,353
- A boy band that includes
one of the dads?
238
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:37,715
I mean, it's never been done.
239
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,917
- Love it. Fresh idea.
- Genius.
240
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,889
- That sounds like
the worst act ever.
241
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,758
- Why don't you not tell me
how to do my business, kid?
242
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,726
Come back in next week, because
you guys are in round one.
243
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:48,256
- What? No, no, no.
- Yes.
244
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,501
- Son, our problems are over.
245
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:51,863
[gentle guitar music]
246
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,271
All right, here we go.
Ready?
247
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,596
Hit it!
248
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,200
♪ I'm here mowing lawns ♪
249
00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,740
♪ And applying mulch ♪
- ♪ Mulch ♪
250
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,210
- ♪ And I'm blowing
people's leaves ♪
251
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,236
- ♪ I'm here ♪
- Blowing leaves.
252
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:08,884
- ♪ But it's no fun
when you're not here ♪
253
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,118
- Oh, my God.
What am I seeing?
254
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,047
- ♪ I think it's time
to leave ♪
255
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,249
- Blow me from here.
256
00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,093
- Okay. Stop the music.
Tom!
257
00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:17,958
- What's wrong?
- You need to sell it.
258
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,527
- I was snapping,
snapping and dancing.
259
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:22,732
- Big smile.
Snap like you mean it.
260
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:24,595
- Tom, can I have a word
with you, buddy?
261
00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,897
- All right, you guys practice.
I'm gonna go talk to Nelson.
262
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:29,136
- Here we go. Here we go.
All right, you ready?
263
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,635
- Hey, buddy. What's up?
264
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:31,966
- Hey, what are you doing?
- What am I doing?
265
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,641
I joined
a family-based boy band
266
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,879
that sings about landscaping.
We made it to round one.
267
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:38,142
Good shot at
the million dollars, I think.
268
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,114
- Big smile!
- Tom, Tom...
269
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:41,312
- Randy, what are you doing?
270
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,624
- Tom.
- You okay?
271
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,145
Why are you
rubbing your temples?
272
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,480
- You're not winning anything.
- All right.
273
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,715
Sounds like you're jealous,
so I'm--
274
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:47,816
- Jealous?
Come on, man.
275
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,160
Haven't you seen those shows?
276
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,585
You guys are
the "token bad act."
277
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,116
- Token bad act?
What does that even mean?
278
00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,164
- They bring you on the show
279
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,759
so they can make fun of you.
280
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,627
- That's why we're on the show?
- It's a setup.
281
00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:58,099
- Oh, no.
This is not good at all.
282
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,334
- Randy.
- If you can't snap,
283
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,003
you don't belong
in the business.
284
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,341
- I'm telling you, man.
I'm gonna be honest with you.
285
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,496
You need to bail on this.
286
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,614
I can't be friends with a guy
287
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:07,011
in a landscaping boy band.
288
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,336
- I appreciate the talk,
but I gotta be honest.
289
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,012
My gut is saying go for it.
290
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,810
- Tom, you're wearing
a jumpsuit,
291
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,452
snapping and dancing.
- Yeah?
292
00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:17,283
- You clearly don't make
good decisions in life.
293
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,491
- Tom, you have
outdone yourself.
294
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,690
I can't believe
they sent a limo!
295
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,592
- They do it
for all on-camera talent.
296
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:30,501
- What now?
- And it's not a limo.
297
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:32,196
It's a nasty old town car.
298
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,298
- In my opinion,
if it's got a glass wall,
299
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,197
it's a limo, and please zip it.
300
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:38,969
- Enjoy.
- I'm proud of you, Tom.
301
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,468
- Thank you.
302
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:42,039
- 'Cause not only are you
getting these lunatics
303
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:45,211
out of our house,
you could also win $1 million.
304
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,881
- Mom, don't get your hopes up.
305
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:48,949
I don't think our act
is that strong, to be honest.
306
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,875
[cell phone ringing]
- Hello?
307
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,323
Actually, my son
cannot mow your lawn today.
308
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,887
- Oh, no, I can.
- Go ahead, fire him.
309
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,718
Your Bundt cake sucks anyway.
Bye, bitch.
310
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:01,334
- You can't do that.
- Millionaires don't mow lawns.
311
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,164
Ya heard?
[cell phone ringing]
312
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:05,629
Hello.
No, Tom can't make it.
313
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:06,698
- I'll be there.
314
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:07,969
- He said, and I quote,
315
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,404
"Tell Mrs. Ryan
316
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,572
to shove her weedwhacker
straight up her own crack."
317
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:14,835
I know, kids these days.
318
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,577
[upbeat dance music
playing distantly]
319
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,906
- All right, buddy.
I just need to mic you up.
320
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,681
- Oh, okay. Showbiz.
Very exciting.
321
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:23,377
- Hey, where are
your dad and brother?
322
00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:24,882
- I have no idea.
323
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,254
- What do you mean?
- We're not a tight family.
324
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,422
- Oh, you've got
to be shitting me!
325
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,690
We need them.
- What?
326
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,094
- You're on in 10 minutes.
- Oh.
327
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:31,589
- We're gonna have
to call them.
328
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,931
- Okay.
- Here.
329
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,185
- Hello?
330
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,360
- Where are you?
We go on in 10 minutes.
331
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,758
- Can't hear you, Tom.
332
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,002
I'm mowing a lawn.
333
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:39,504
- You're mowing a lawn?
334
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,565
- I've been flooded
with calls today, Tom.
335
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,697
All my clients want me back.
336
00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:44,839
- No.
337
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:46,244
- They said you're unreliable
338
00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:48,068
and rude, Tom.
339
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,444
And your mom told them off.
340
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,242
- Oh, no...
- Remember, Tom.
341
00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:54,413
Snap with convictionand big smiles.
342
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,023
- Thanks, Dad.
See you later.
343
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,452
- Okay, where are they?
344
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,950
- I know this isn't
what you want to hear.
345
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,551
We're gonna have to cancel.
- Wait, sorry.
346
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:02,049
Cancel?
We don't do that.
347
00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:04,521
You're going out there
right now.
348
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:07,290
♪ ♪
349
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,633
- That was wonderful.
Wasn't that wonderful, folks?
350
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,929
That was fun.
351
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:12,060
Well, our next act should be
352
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,731
a real crowd-pleaser, too.
353
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:15,069
His name is Tom.
354
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:16,144
He's a former member
355
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,735
of a family-based boy band,
356
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:20,143
but now he's striking out
on his own,
357
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:23,479
dancing and snapping
to landscaping music.
358
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:26,879
[gentle guitar music]
359
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:31,246
♪ ♪
360
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:34,487
- I forget the lyrics...
Something about mulch?
361
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,557
Oh, my God.
This is...
362
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:39,332
- Oh, what's that?
Look, a quarter.
363
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,885
- Can I get off the stage?
364
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,930
What happens now?
365
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:44,555
- Excuse me.
Is that your son up there?
366
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,000
Because he is very bad.
367
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:48,228
- No, my son died
in a weed-whacking accident.
368
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,070
I don't know who this kid is.
369
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:53,166
♪ ♪
370
00:12:53,216 --> 00:12:57,766
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