All language subtitles for Ten Year Old Tom s01e05.eng

- Mom, I don't know
about this hairstyle.

- Tom, it looks so good.
I cannot ease up at this point.

- I just question the blazer!

I question
the blazer/side part combo.

- This is class picture day.
This is a big deal.

I need how you look
in these pictures

to be a reflection of me.

[car horn honking]

- You're holding up
the drop-off line.

- I'm combing my child's hair.

This is a tender moment,
a-hole.

- You're making your son
look like an idiot.

- Um, he looks adorable.

Like a young
Timothée Chalamet, so...

- Show of hands!
Who thinks this kid

looks like a young
Timothée Chalamet?

- Uh...

- I can kind of see it.
- Thank you.

We've got a consensus here.
[horn honking]

Ma, we really
gotta wrap this up.

- Okay, What are you gonna do
when you get in there?

- Sit up straight
and say "cheese."

- I love you, buddy.
This is our life

on the line here, I love you.

- I think you're
expecting a lot from

this hair and blazer combo.

[horn honking]

- ♪ Now as our poor
young lungs deflate ♪

♪ I'll admit
I've gotten older ♪

♪ Mellowed out, chatting up
those I used to hate ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The feeling that
we're lost will always fade ♪

♪ I present no explanation ♪

♪ Can't expect
our tired patience ♪

♪ To satiate for long ♪

♪ Therein lies a truth
we can sip when we want ♪

♪ Disciples of the flow,
we can float anywhere ♪

- Okay.
Right out of the gate,

let's lose the hairdo
and the blazer.

- Oh, no. My mom just spent
like a half hour on that.

- Oh, did your mom ask me if--

if that was time well spent?

- I don't know, I'm not--
I'm not privy to that.

Hey, what are you doing?

- I saw your yearbook
last year.

It was meh.

It was meh.
- The yearbook was meh?

- Look, we're doing things
a little different this year.

Okay, just--
give me a silly face.

Stick your tongue out.

- My mom explicitly said,

sit up straight
and say "cheese."

- I don't do "cheese" here.
- You don't do "cheese"?

That's the main word.
- Jacob!

[club music plays]
- What's happening right now?

- We're trying
to capture the feeling

of what it is to be a child.

So give me a raspberry.
- Raspberry?

- Yeah.
Give me some raspberries.

- Pfft. That kind of thing?
- Y--oh! That was great.

Do that again.
- Pffft. Pbbbbt.

Oh, God, yeah.
Love it, okay.

- Let's get--
let's get a "cheese" one.

- I don't do "cheese."

- You're out of control
at this point.

- Turn your back to me,

and throw a look
over the shoulder,

like--
like peekaboo.

- I'm begging you right now.

We spent all weekend.

We bought a comb!
- You nailed it.

I think we're good.

- Good!
- Jacob!

I'm taking five minutes!

This kid is a handful!

[footsteps receding]

[door slams]

- How's my favorite grandma?

- Livin' and lovin' the world.

- Can I get you a drink?

- Ah, you're a doll, Tommy.

I'll take a tea with honey.

- A little complex.

Can I get you any--
anything simpler?

- Oh, okay,
just the cortado then.

- Cortado?
You know what, forget I asked.

Forget the beverage.
You don't seem thirsty.

- What the hell?

- Guess what I got?
I got the proofs

for Tom's class pictures!

- Oh, no.
- Oh!

Let's take a look.

- Are people still
looking at pictures these days?

I thought that's kind of
come and gone.

- I know you don't know
what it's like

to be a single mom.

Since your dad left,

I feel like I'm judged,

I feel like I gotta
keep up appearances.

I need this picture to scream

success, prosperity,

and family values.

- This is not good.
- What happened?

- Did they retouch these?
What's going on right now?

- Are you trying to ki--
are you trying to kill me?

- It must be
the photographer's fault,

he must of--
- Tom, there's no way

he looked at you and said,

"try to look like
a creep saying peekaboo."

- He literally
said that word for word.

- Tom, you need new pictures

before you come back
in this house.

- I think the kid
is lashing out.

- Grandma, please.
- He ruined his pictures,

and he refuses
to make his grandmother

a simple cortado.

- That is an incredibly complex
drink--you realize that, right?

- It's an espresso
with a drizzle of warm milk,

and it's not that hard, Tom.

- Grandma, would it kill you
to run over to Starbucks?

I mean, seriously.

All right,
I shouldn't have said that.

Now I'm lashing out.

[club music plays
in distance]

- Senator, yes!
Get up on the raft!

Oh, my God, yes!

- Sir, these are for
my re-election posters.

- You're gonna love these,
okay?

It says dignity
but not without

a sense of whimsy, okay?

Bounce up and down.

- 'Scuse me?

Hey.
I got a question

about the yearbook pictures.

- Are--are you for real?

- Uh, my mom, uh, and grandma

weren't thrilled with the--
the shots.

They didn't really--
they didn't really care for

the peekaboo and
the raspberries and all that.

So could we just
get a quick redo?

Just grab a quick "cheese" shot

like we talked about?

- That's so interesting.
Hey, everybody!

Everybody, gather around!
- Don't make a big thing of it.

- This little boy's
grandmother wasn't thrilled

with my work and would like
a quick redo.

And I guess my 15 years
as a professional photographer

are just garbage bullshit!

- My mom literally wants
a shot where I'm smiling

and looking at the camera.

- Your mom sounds
like a crazy bitch, okay?

- What?
- I shoot for huge magazines.

"New Jersey Living."
You ever heard of that?

- No.
- "Hedge Fancy."

You ever heard of it?
- No.

- "Cat Fancy"?
- Okay.

- The only reason I'm doing
grade school yearbooks

is because I'm nailing
your school nurse.

There.
I said it.

- That's certainly
a lot to take in, uh...

no redo is the recap, right?

No redo?
- Show yourself out.

[school bell rings]

- Tom!
- What now?

- Get in my office.
Shut my door.

Sit down.
Shut your mouth.

- Oh, okay.
- We have a problem.

Do you see what's on my wall?

- Looks like
a large, framed photo

of a grown man's rear end.

- Exactly.
It's from the photographer.

It says,
"Kiss my butt, I quit."

- It seems like a odd choice
to hang it up.

- He's a famous photographer.

What am I gonna do?
Not hang it up?

Right, now you realize
how stupid that sounds.

- Yeah,
what was I thinking?

- He quit 'cause of
you and your personality.

And he won't hand over
the media drive.

So guess what.

There's not gonna
be a yearbook.

- Oh, my God.
That's the best news ever.

- What are you talkin' about?

Tom, I want you to
tell the yearbook club--

just, go ahead and
tell them it's been cancelled.

- Me--you want me to tell 'em?
You're the principal.

- Oh, God.
Can I be honest with you?

Like, not an adult to a kid,
but just, like, as a friend?

- That's a little weird,
but okay.

- The yearbook club,
they scare me.

Like they're the adults.

And don't ever tell them that!

[teacher claps]
- Okay, kids.

We need a theme
for the yearbook.

Let's brainstorm.

- Uh, leprechauns!

- Awful, keep thinking.

- Paris in the '20s?

- Insipid. What else?

- Uh, fracking!

- That's actually good.
I like that.

[knock on door]
Thomas?

- Oh, hey.

Uh, listen, just a quick FYI.

I know you guys
are working on the yearbook,

but there's not
gonna be a yearbook.

- What now?
- I asked for a redo,

due to some
hair and blazer issues.

- So you had
hair and blazer issues?

- The photographer
got angry at me, and he quit.

Not a big thing.
Don't dwell on it.

- Tom, you've just
erased an entire year

from everyone's lives!

- That's a little dramatic.
- Without a yearbook,

it's like it never happened.

Bake sale?
Never happened.

Band recital?
Whoo-hoo!

Au revoir!
Soccer league?

- Never happened!
- Thank you, Dakota.

All because Tom didn't like

how his insipid hair
framed his stupid face.

- How are you
still teaching here?

- Yo, Tom, what's up?

Man, I heard
you screwed up the yearbook,

big time!
- You know, I did.

But, hey, my mom
hated the pictures anyway,

so this is
a rare victory for me.

- Finally.
Good to see you

come out on top for once.

- This is like a whole new era.

Era of prosperity

and good times and fun living.

- Holy cow!
Look, it's Tom's face

on the side of that building!
[tires screech]

[Tom reading]

- The era of prosperity
didn't last that long.

- That was ten seconds
on a bus.

- That's the longest run
we ever had, Tom.

We gotta see
what this is about.

Hey, driver!
Can we hop out here?

- Yeah, of course.
Just look both ways

when crossing the freeway.

- All right,
we gotta find this guy.

- Let's go.

- We're looking for
Fedir's Ukrainian Insurance.

Wait, what?

"Dumb donkey-face"?

[electronic trap music]

♪ ♪

What is this guy's
advertising budget?

Okay, we got it.
Fedir's.

This is it.

What do you think?
Is this safe?

- Sure,
sounds like there's

a bunch of grown women
in there.

- That's a good point.
If you got grown women

and insurance,
you're pretty safe.

- Yeah, if it was
a bunch of dudes in there,

I would be terrified,

but something
about it is nurturing.

[folk music plays]

- Gentle, gentle.
No, stronger, str--

ye--no, gentle.
Ohh.

- Uh, excuse me.
Are you Fadir?

- Fadir died, was poisoned.

I'm son.
I didn't do it.

- You didn't do it?
- Wait, Wait.

Do I know you?
- Do you know me?

I'm the guy
from the ad campaign.

- Oh, my God!
You're donkey ass-faced kid!

- No one calls me that,
but I mean--

- My Verizon guy,
my Taco Bell chihuahua!

- Don't get too excited, Fadir.

You need to pull those ads
right now.

You have no rights
to those pictures.

- Ohh.
But I do.

I buy photos legit
from angry photographer.

- Photographer?
I can't believe he did that!

Can you be a nice guy,
just pull them

and, uh, give them back?

- Listen, uh, donkey-face,

I love kids.
But, I am businessman.

I have to feed my children.

And now I see opportunity,
so maybe 500.

- $500?

- Deal.
- Deal?

- Mr. B will pay anything

to save the yearbook, right?

- Oh, that's
actually a really good idea.

- Mind if we step outside
to get the money?

- I need collateral.

What if you walk out and leave?

- Three-ring binder?
You want a three-ring binder?

- Eh, no.
Leave, uh...

Okay,
you leave other friend here.

- 'Scuse me--
- Great.

You hang on to Nelson,
I'll go get the money.

[dog barking]

[siren wailing]

So are you on
the insurance side

or the--
the beautiful lady side?

- Oh, you know,
a little of this,

a little of, like,
wee-woo, woo-woo,

hi-hi.
[coughing]

- You know what, we don't
have to make small talk.

[tires screeching]
- Tom!

- Mr. B.
- This is such great news.

I hopped out of the bath
when I heard your message.

Here's 500 in wet singles.

- Uh, one small request?
- Anything.

- Please, use a normal picture
of me in the yearbook,

something my mom will like.

- Of course, Tom.
- Thank you.

- Freeze, you bald, wet,
robe-wearing son of a bitch!

[gunshots]

[gunshots continue]

- Um, Fadir?

Uh, I think we need to go
check outside.

- Oh, no.
If anyone is murdered,

they always know.

- Hey, cue ball, eyes on me!
- What's happening?

- Oh, we've been staking out
this place for weeks.

- Just tons of weird,
pervy behavior going on.

Horses entering,

but not leaving.
- Horses?

- Hot women
giving insurance quotes.

- Hot women?
- Large amounts of baklava

being tossed in the dumpster.

That's as pervy as it gets!

But whatever's
going on with you two,

way weirder.
- What are you intimating?

- You're nude, you're bald,
you're in a robe,

and you got
a hard drive labeled

"pics of little kids"?

Man,
if you're not getting arrested,

I don't know who is.

- All right,
get this scumbag out of here.

- Should have put a shirt on,
if nothing else.

- That might have helped.

Hey,
aren't you the dumb,

donkey-faced kid
from those ads?

- Nah, that's another kid.

- Can we get a selfie?
- Oh, my God.

- Please, here, real qui--
real quick.

No, not like that.
Make the donkey face.

- Make the face?
- Yes.

- How's that?
- Look dumb.

- How's that?
- Dial up the donkey.

- Oh, wow.

Tom!
- You like it?

- You look so handsome
in your yearbook photo.

You look like Bill Gates,
buddy.

- Thank you.
- Aren't you kind of glad

I told you to sit up straight
and say "cheese"?

- It all worked out.
Great picture in the yearbook,

and I learned
how to make a cortado.

- Actually, it sucks.
Pffft.

- This is not
a fun grandma visit.

- Give me a quick peekaboo
over the shoulder.

Give me a little peekaboo
over the shoulder.

- You're talking to me?

- Cook some oatmeal,
put some blueberries on it,

and put it
in front of your children.

- In what sense?

- Now fly-fish for me.

Fly-fish!
- What?

- You're a real handful,
you know that?

[camera lens snapping]

♪ ♪

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