Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,167 --> 00:00:07,533
[Bats screeching]
2
00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:14,600
[Ominous music]
3
00:00:21,467 --> 00:00:23,100
(Male narrator)
Once upon a time
4
00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:25,133
A fair maiden and a lad
5
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:29,767
Journeyed out for a feast
with their kind-hearted dad.
6
00:00:29,833 --> 00:00:33,100
But before they gave thanks
and took even a bite
7
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:36,067
A maniac arrived
like a boat in the night.
8
00:00:38,967 --> 00:00:42,767
He murdered, he butchered,
with few words spoken.
9
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:47,767
Leaving only the fair maiden
and her shattered heart broken.
10
00:00:48,733 --> 00:00:49,667
Yes!
11
00:00:52,433 --> 00:00:55,367
But he didn't get far,
that demon with a gun.
12
00:00:55,433 --> 00:00:59,100
And they gave him the chair
as he ended his run.
13
00:01:02,867 --> 00:01:07,133
They sent his blackened ashes
to his mother, a witch...
14
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,633
Who tracked down the maiden
and left her a gift.
15
00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:16,267
[Ominous music]
16
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:30,667
A box filled with spices
and ashes within.
17
00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:36,533
[Music continues]
18
00:01:42,833 --> 00:01:45,667
And when she
baked up a cookie...
19
00:01:45,733 --> 00:01:48,667
[Electricity crackling]
20
00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:56,067
It rose with a grin.
21
00:01:58,467 --> 00:02:00,400
[Sniggering]
22
00:02:00,467 --> 00:02:02,400
It mangled and murdered.
23
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,733
No, no. Sweet mother of Jesus.
24
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,733
[Gingerdead Man cackling]
25
00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:17,933
It bludgeoned and chopped.
26
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:20,367
[Screaming]
27
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,233
[Gingerdead Man laughing]
28
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:25,733
The Gingerdead Man
who couldn't be stopped.
29
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,900
[Woman screaming]
30
00:02:27,967 --> 00:02:29,900
[Gingerdead Man giggling]
31
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:36,267
Until late in the night,
when he finally met his fate.
32
00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:38,733
Prince did rescue
the maiden ingrate.
33
00:02:48,867 --> 00:02:51,400
Wait. No, please.
34
00:02:51,467 --> 00:02:53,800
Stay away from him,
he's possessed.
35
00:03:00,967 --> 00:03:04,400
The story ended happily
just like it should
36
00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:08,400
As the homicidal cookie
was banished for good.
37
00:03:08,467 --> 00:03:11,667
The bakery was sold
and the maiden was married.
38
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:15,067
The spices restored
as the bodies were buried.
39
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:19,367
So, don't peek in the oven
or that black smoldering pan.
40
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:24,333
You just might find the monster
called the Gingerdead Man.
41
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,400
[Laughing diabolically]
42
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,600
[Aimee-Lynn Chadwick
singing "Run, Run, Run"]
43
00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:33,167
* Run run run
as fast as you can *
44
00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:39,233
* That don't mean
I devise no plan *
45
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,533
* I'm sick I'm whack
I'm a maniac *
46
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,633
* I'm switched out flat
I'll bust a cap *
47
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:46,900
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
48
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,433
* So run *
49
00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:52,467
* Just run *
50
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,833
* I said run *
51
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,467
* Run run run
as fast as you can *
52
00:03:59,533 --> 00:04:02,167
* Your number's up
meet the hatchet man *
53
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:06,067
* I'll kick I'll claw
I'll bust your jaw *
54
00:04:06,067 --> 00:04:08,067
* I'm meaner than
a mother-in-law *
55
00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:10,867
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
56
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:14,833
* So run *
57
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:17,067
* Just run *
58
00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:19,200
* I said run *
59
00:04:19,267 --> 00:04:21,900
* I'm a Syrian outcast
out for blood *
60
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:26,733
* Nowhere to go
your name is mud *
61
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,633
* You didn't meet
your ass is grass *
62
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:32,700
* I'm openin' up
a can of whoop-ass *
63
00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:35,500
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
64
00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:39,233
* So run *
65
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,467
* Just run *
66
00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:43,667
* I said run *
67
00:04:43,733 --> 00:04:46,400
* I'm a hateful
negative sociopath *
68
00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:50,800
* I'll send you hot
you'll feel my wrath *
69
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,867
* I'll grind your bones
to bake my bread *
70
00:04:54,933 --> 00:04:56,967
* You won't come back
'cause you'll be dead *
71
00:04:57,067 --> 00:05:00,367
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
72
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,667
* So run *
73
00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:05,933
* Just run *
74
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:08,433
* I said run *
75
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:11,067
* Run run run
as fast as you can *
76
00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:15,567
* I'll take you out
with a frying pan *
77
00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:19,400
* You're in my way
I'm ready to brawl *
78
00:05:19,467 --> 00:05:21,533
* I'm a walking
talking wrecking ball *
79
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,367
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
80
00:05:26,067 --> 00:05:28,167
* So run *
81
00:05:28,233 --> 00:05:30,200
* Just run *
82
00:05:30,267 --> 00:05:32,567
* I said run *
83
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:35,667
* You better run and hide
as fast as you can *
84
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,733
* I'm out for blood
it's your last stand *
85
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:43,800
* Done me wrong
gotta pay the price *
86
00:05:43,867 --> 00:05:45,967
* Time to meet the piper
time just flies *
87
00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:48,767
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
88
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,600
* So run *
89
00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:54,633
* Just run *
90
00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:56,967
* I said run *
91
00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:59,200
* So run *
92
00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:01,467
* Just run *
93
00:06:01,533 --> 00:06:03,600
* I said run *
94
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,833
* So run *
95
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:12,833
* Just ru-u-n *
96
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:16,533
* Yeah **
97
00:06:26,633 --> 00:06:29,167
(Male #1)
'Alright, everybody,
back to one.'
98
00:06:29,233 --> 00:06:31,967
(Male #2)
' "Tiny Terrors," take 36.'
99
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:34,433
(Male #1)
'Lights, camera, action.'
100
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:36,367
[Thunder rumbling]
101
00:06:36,433 --> 00:06:38,200
[Wolves howling]
102
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:42,700
'I call upon thee,
the dark lord, Satan.'
103
00:06:42,767 --> 00:06:45,767
Bring forth all of the fiery
power from the oven
104
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:48,200
That is your flaming sanctuary.
105
00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:51,133
'I call upon
the element of fire.'
106
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,533
'Let the burning heat
and flames release your minions'
107
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,067
'From the dark underworld.'
108
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,067
No!
109
00:06:57,133 --> 00:06:59,833
Yes, Cornelius. Yes, Zira.
110
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:02,167
Satan thrives on pain.
111
00:07:02,233 --> 00:07:08,200
Deliver unto him this nubile
virgin's infernal suffering.
112
00:07:08,267 --> 00:07:12,933
'Braise her. Braise her!
Ha ha ha!'
113
00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:17,633
'Braise her, braise her,
braise her. Ha ha ha.'
114
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,500
[Screaming]
115
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:20,833
Please!
116
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:24,433
Now... throw gold at her.
117
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,333
- No!
- Yes!
118
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,533
- Throw gold.
- No gold.
119
00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:31,233
More gold.
120
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,200
'More gold!'
121
00:07:33,267 --> 00:07:35,067
- More gold.
- 'No.'
122
00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:40,100
More gold, it pleasures me.
Ha ha ha!
123
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:44,900
'Even still more gold.'
124
00:07:44,967 --> 00:07:48,600
Give her the gold.
Ha ha ha!
125
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:57,767
Now, let the blood of this
innocent flesh be your offering.
126
00:07:57,833 --> 00:08:02,167
Let her misery and extinguished
life be the essence
127
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:06,633
That opens up the portal
to release your minions.
128
00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:11,600
As I bear this dagger
129
00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:13,833
'The instrument of your will'
130
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:16,467
'May my aim be true.'
131
00:08:16,533 --> 00:08:19,233
May the blood spilled
on this altar
132
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,333
Be the final ingredient
133
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:26,967
To release your Tiny Terrors
and cause them to rise!
134
00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:29,267
[Screaming]
135
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:32,267
[Heartbeat pounding]
136
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:39,267
Rise! Rise!
Rise, oh Tiny Terrors.
137
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:43,400
Rise! Ha ha ha!
138
00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:49,100
Abu, Rabu, Simbu too!
139
00:08:50,567 --> 00:08:52,400
Treasure chest.
140
00:08:52,467 --> 00:08:54,267
[Crackling]
141
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:55,600
[Laughing]
142
00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:57,300
[Gibbering]
143
00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:02,867
Hemorrhoid.
144
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:04,700
[Crackling]
145
00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:05,800
[Babbling]
146
00:09:05,867 --> 00:09:08,500
[Male #3 laughing]
147
00:09:08,567 --> 00:09:10,333
Dob Goblin.
148
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,733
[Crackling]
149
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,867
Here I am.
150
00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:16,867
[Laughing]
151
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,133
Perculator.
152
00:09:23,267 --> 00:09:25,267
[Machine gun firing]
153
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,333
[Beeping]
154
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,633
Shit-for-brains.
155
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:36,067
[Crackling]
156
00:09:39,867 --> 00:09:41,267
[Humming indistinctly]
157
00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:48,067
And finally, Haunted Dildo.
158
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:52,200
Rise, Haunted Dildo. Rise!
159
00:09:52,267 --> 00:09:54,133
[Laughing diabolically]
160
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:59,667
Welcome, oh Tiny Terrors.
161
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:04,367
Now, go forth
and spread your evil
162
00:10:04,433 --> 00:10:06,567
Across this debauched planet.
163
00:10:06,633 --> 00:10:10,167
Go, and destroy humanity!
164
00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:12,167
[Laughing diabolically]
165
00:10:12,233 --> 00:10:13,900
[Rattling]
166
00:10:22,767 --> 00:10:27,700
Son of a bitch.
Goddamn cock sucker.
167
00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:30,733
- That's a cut.
- That's a cut, people.
168
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,067
No. No, no, no.
169
00:10:32,133 --> 00:10:36,300
Your line is, "Rise up and hover
through these cursed streets"
170
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:38,067
"And suck forth the light force
171
00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:39,600
That will feed
the almighty demon."
172
00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:41,900
Do you need me to
read lines with you?
173
00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:43,867
I know my goddamn lines.
174
00:10:43,933 --> 00:10:46,800
Clear out, clear out.
Coming through.
175
00:10:46,867 --> 00:10:49,400
Calm down, calm down.
Hold still, Mary.
176
00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:51,367
Oh, get away
from me, you queen.
177
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,400
Kelvin!
178
00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:56,133
'I cannot work like this.'
179
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,767
I have been here since 8 a.m.
180
00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:00,367
'It is now 10 p.m.'
181
00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:02,933
I have 15 pages of dialogue
to learn by tomorrow
182
00:11:03,067 --> 00:11:05,367
And this ceremonial belt
is killing my prostate.
183
00:11:05,433 --> 00:11:07,167
- I'm outta here.
- Hey, wait, wait, wait.
184
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:08,600
Don't go anywhere.
185
00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:11,967
I've got six pages and
three hours to do it in.
186
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:15,333
- You can't bail on me now.
- Unhand me.
187
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,100
- Brick.
- Yeah.
188
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:20,367
- I wanna go home, too.
- And I gotta piss.
189
00:11:20,433 --> 00:11:24,067
Everybody, just please,
calm down.
190
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:25,967
I'm moving as fast as I can.
191
00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:27,267
(Male #3)
'Yeah, whatever.'
192
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:31,067
Let's just, uh, untie
our Nubile Young Virgin.
193
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:33,400
'Then we can all
get back to work.'
194
00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:36,600
'Come on, we're trying
to make a movie here.'
195
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:40,067
Let's just hang in there.
Let's go. Chop chop.
196
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,333
Let's keep it down, people.
197
00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:44,633
Miserable puppets.
198
00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:51,233
Guys, what is going on
with these puppets?
199
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,067
- You're killing me.
- What is going on?
200
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:55,400
These assholes can't afford
to do this shit right.
201
00:11:55,467 --> 00:11:57,500
- I mean, who built this crap?
- I did.
202
00:11:57,567 --> 00:11:59,200
Look. Look. Look, look.
203
00:11:59,267 --> 00:12:01,333
We all agreed to
do this for Kelvin
204
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,200
'Because his father
gave us our start.'
205
00:12:03,267 --> 00:12:06,067
'But let's face it.
The genre is dead.'
206
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,433
And so is this operation.
207
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,200
Cheatum International
is far from dead, fellas.
208
00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:11,867
'This is just a little detour.'
209
00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:14,667
This picture is gonna mark
the return of my father's studio
210
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,700
As a major force in the
entertainment industry.
211
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:19,967
"Tiny Terrors 9?"
Purgatory of the Petit?"
212
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:22,933
I defy you to forget
a title like that.
213
00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:25,133
'I'd like to forget
I ever met you.'
214
00:12:25,867 --> 00:12:28,067
[Jazz music]
215
00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:36,600
Looks like we're gonna be here
another three hours, Polly.
216
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:38,500
Better order up
that third meal.
217
00:12:38,567 --> 00:12:41,633
I got something better than
a third meal, stud.
218
00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:44,067
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
219
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:46,100
And I hope you're hungry.
220
00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:50,233
'Cause I'm breaking up
my big, pink box.
221
00:12:51,833 --> 00:12:53,567
My sister sent us
some baked goods
222
00:12:53,633 --> 00:12:56,167
All the way from
the great state of Texas.
223
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:59,133
You think you can
handle these, honey buns?
224
00:13:00,933 --> 00:13:04,933
I always say, "Nothing
satiates the savage appetite"
225
00:13:05,067 --> 00:13:07,233
'"of a North American
movie crew member'
226
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:10,300
Like hot
and sticky sweets."
227
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:14,467
[Ominous music]
228
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,300
Are you joking?
229
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,233
These things are stale.
230
00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:31,800
Hey! Alright, people. Get it
together. We're back in ten.
231
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,467
I know you're exhausted.
232
00:13:35,533 --> 00:13:37,867
I'm exhausted. Hell, the
whole crew is exhausted.
233
00:13:37,933 --> 00:13:41,500
Now, look. You just calm down.
You just, you just hang it...
234
00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:43,533
No, no, no.
You just hang in there.
235
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,233
It'll be fine.
236
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:48,700
You said this movie
was gonna make me a new star.
237
00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:52,567
Uh, it will. You're
gonna be a big star.
238
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:56,700
You said I was the most talented
waitress you'd ever met.
239
00:13:56,767 --> 00:14:00,233
Oh, honey, you
are exceedingly talented.
240
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:04,167
- I gave you a blow job!
- You too?
241
00:14:04,233 --> 00:14:05,967
- Aah!
- Uh, Kelvin.
242
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:09,367
'Kelvin, you said this was
gonna be a walk in the park.'
243
00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,333
You said,
"Come up to the beach.
244
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,967
Direct the stupid puppets.
Take the cash."
245
00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:18,133
Look. I really, really like to
help you save your dad's studio.
246
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,933
But you didn't pay enough
to put up with this shit!
247
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:22,300
- You get paid?
- No.
248
00:14:22,367 --> 00:14:24,600
- He's getting paid?
- No, Ricki, what he meant was...
249
00:14:24,667 --> 00:14:26,200
Everybody, he's
been getting paid.
250
00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:27,733
Is that what
you're telling me?
251
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,300
Haven't gotten around
the payroll...
252
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:31,700
Is that what
you're telling me?
253
00:14:34,367 --> 00:14:37,300
[Clamoring]
254
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,167
Oh, my god.
255
00:14:43,233 --> 00:14:45,467
You broke my nose.
256
00:14:45,533 --> 00:14:48,067
Didn't anyone ever teach you
not to hit a girl?
257
00:14:49,767 --> 00:14:52,667
[Clamoring]
258
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,400
[Clamoring continues]
259
00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:06,067
Great work, everybody.
260
00:15:06,133 --> 00:15:08,833
I'm gonna be in my office
ordering pizza for everyone.
261
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:11,200
I know you're all hungry
for a little something.
262
00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:15,200
[Clamoring continues]
263
00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:17,200
[Ominous music]
264
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:23,133
(Gingerdead Man)
'Looks like my kinda place.'
265
00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:26,867
Ah, wait till they get
a taste of me.
266
00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:32,167
[Orchestral music]
267
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:34,767
[Roaring]
268
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,600
(Heather)
'All fastened
onto your wheelchair.'
269
00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:39,600
I feel like I'm the luckiest boy
in the whole world.
270
00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:40,700
[Coughing]
271
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:44,167
Cheatum Studios.
272
00:15:44,233 --> 00:15:46,167
'I can't believe
I'm actually here.'
273
00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:49,133
Well, that's what End Of
The Rainbow is all about.
274
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,633
Making your
final dreams come true.
275
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,200
This is your
special night, Tommy.
276
00:15:53,267 --> 00:15:55,533
I mean, just look
at this place.
277
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,200
Can you just feel
the movie magic in the air?
278
00:15:58,267 --> 00:16:00,067
[Sobbing]
279
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:02,567
(Kelvin)
'Wait. Wait, Wendy.
Please, please.
280
00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:04,467
Please don't quit, Wendy.
281
00:16:04,533 --> 00:16:06,367
- We need you.
- It hurts.
282
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:09,367
Ah! But remember pain is
temporary, film is forever.
283
00:16:09,433 --> 00:16:11,400
I just know that
he broke my nose.
284
00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:14,167
No, no, no.
It's gonna be just fine.
285
00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:16,500
Hold on. Let me see.
286
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,533
Does it look terrible?
287
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:23,500
No. Not at all.
288
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:27,233
You just need to put ice on it.
Know what? You look beautiful.
289
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:29,467
- Really?
- Uh-huh.
290
00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:31,267
- Do you mean it?
- Yeah.
291
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:34,267
Excuse me, do you know where
I could find Mr. Cheatum?
292
00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:36,833
Honey, I have a meeting
I have to attend to.
293
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,433
Will you please just grab
some coffee, take an aspirin?
294
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:42,633
- I'll see you back inside?
- Okay, Kelvin.
295
00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:47,200
Ma'am, if you're here
296
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:49,167
Regarding the Tiny Terror
action figure lawsuit...
297
00:16:49,233 --> 00:16:50,267
No, actually...
298
00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:52,300
I can assure you,
the toys deemed toxic
299
00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:54,333
Have been removed from
the shelves and incinerated.
300
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,133
I'm sure you've heard that
almost 80 percent of the boy's
301
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,667
Body hair will
eventually grow back...
302
00:16:58,733 --> 00:17:01,533
- I need to speak to you, now.
- Actually, I'm Heather Crocker.
303
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,767
From the End Of The Rainbow
Last Wish Foundation.
304
00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:07,567
- And?
- And I'm Tommy.
305
00:17:07,633 --> 00:17:11,767
It was my dying wish
to see your amazing studio.
306
00:17:11,833 --> 00:17:13,533
You're Kelvin Cheatum.
307
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,700
Son of Rupert Cheatum,
the low-budget movie master.
308
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:20,333
Creator of such
genre hit classics
309
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,467
As "Beach Blanket
Bludgeonry"
310
00:17:22,533 --> 00:17:26,233
And "Maniac Drycleaner"
and "Escape From Sloth Island."
311
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:29,267
That one was a little slow
in parts, but thank you.
312
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:32,933
Are you kidding?
Your father was a genius.
313
00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:35,833
I have every single movie
he ever made.
314
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:39,267
He changed my life.
315
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:42,367
Or what's left of it anyway.
316
00:17:42,433 --> 00:17:44,833
Oh, don't be sad, Tommy.
317
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:46,833
Maybe, you'll see him
up in heaven.
318
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,167
She's right.
319
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:51,067
'We don't have time for doom
and gloom around here.'
320
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:53,633
This is a place where
your wildest dreams come true.
321
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:57,267
So, who's ready to see
first hand, the magic that is
322
00:17:57,333 --> 00:17:58,533
Cheatum Studios!
323
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,133
(Female #1)
'Keep it down, asshole.'
324
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:07,467
Nothing like a hot,
steaming bowl
325
00:18:07,533 --> 00:18:10,167
Of Polly's special
somethin' somethin'
326
00:18:10,233 --> 00:18:13,633
To get you through your
mid-evening fisticuffs.
327
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:16,700
- Thanks.
- No problem.
328
00:18:16,767 --> 00:18:18,267
Polly's got to do her best
329
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:22,067
To keep a big strapping boy
like you well fed.
330
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:26,100
- Is it... hot enough for you?
- Real hot.
331
00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:28,500
Fucking whore.
Where the hell am I?
332
00:18:30,733 --> 00:18:33,267
I better split before one of
these shitheads gets hungry.
333
00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:39,800
Here we are in the historic
Cheatum Studio's back lot.
334
00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:42,433
Wow! That's "Hamburger
Time Traveler" detective.
335
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,500
- Howdy, son?
- Who?
336
00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:47,067
The sharp-boiled,
hard-boiled crime fighter.
337
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:49,667
Created from the fusion of
a hard bitten street detective
338
00:18:49,733 --> 00:18:51,767
And his lunch during
a teleportation accident
339
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:52,867
Gone horribly wrong.
340
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:54,400
I need to talk to you.
341
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,967
Marty, can't you see
I'm in the process of making
342
00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:59,100
This young man's
final dream come true?
343
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:01,733
Unless you want your life
to become a living nightmare
344
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,800
You need to give me a minute
of your time right now.
345
00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:06,833
Will you two excuse me
for a moment?
346
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:09,467
I've some important movie
industry business to attend to.
347
00:19:09,533 --> 00:19:10,733
Sure.
348
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,500
Alright, listen.
349
00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:14,800
The wire didn't come through
from Russia today, okay?
350
00:19:14,867 --> 00:19:16,767
We've a serious
cash flow problem.
351
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:19,833
We've had cash flow problems in
the past. It'll iron itself out.
352
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:23,167
If it does come through I still
don't think I can catch up.
353
00:19:23,233 --> 00:19:25,200
You've way too many
movies in production.
354
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:28,833
You got Tiny Terrors on the big
stage, Space Makers in Studio B.
355
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:31,400
You've lose ends of movies
you're still trying to finish.
356
00:19:31,467 --> 00:19:34,967
I say we pull the plug on 90%
of what we got goin' on
357
00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:37,067
And just make one
really great movie.
358
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:39,600
Why don't we just try
to get through this week?
359
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:41,733
Then we'll discuss
cutting back on future slate.
360
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,067
- Future slate.
- Mm-hmm.
361
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:46,433
We may not have one.
362
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,233
The script for "Tiny Terrors 9"
got leaked onto the internet.
363
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,067
People hate it. Alright?
364
00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:53,633
These online bloggers
and movie reviewers
365
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,433
They're starting to get
ferocious with you.
366
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,833
The reviewers love us.
They grew up with us.
367
00:19:57,900 --> 00:20:00,000
My father's studio is
an American institution.
368
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:00,067
My father's studio is
an American institution.
- Really?
- Yeah.
369
00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:00,933
- Really?
- Yeah.
370
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:01,933
- Really? Okay.
- Really.
371
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,333
Let's see here.
Um, ooh.
372
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,467
"I'd rather have lye
poured into my eyes
373
00:20:05,533 --> 00:20:08,000
Than have to sit through another
half-baked Cheatum production."
374
00:20:08,067 --> 00:20:10,533
Uh, "Tiny Terrors 9,
audience nothing."
375
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,400
Uh, "A production so wooden,
it'll give you splinters."
376
00:20:13,467 --> 00:20:14,533
And here's my favorite.
377
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,567
"If you've trouble sleeping,
pop in the latest..."
378
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:20,100
- Alright! Alright, I get it.
- And those are the good ones.
379
00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:22,933
There's this guy, this movie
reviewer, horror reviewer.
380
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,333
Calls himself
"Demon Warrior 13," alright?
381
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,200
He started a letter writing
campaign to boycott our movies
382
00:20:28,267 --> 00:20:31,033
And all outlets that sell 'em,
unless we shut down production.
383
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:34,000
Come on, how much damage can
Demon Warrior 13 actually cause?
384
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,867
In and Out Video
cancelled their order.
385
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:37,700
Netpix cancelled their order.
386
00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:40,267
That bastard!
This guy's a maniac.
387
00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:42,800
We're fading away, Kelvin,
alright? We need something big.
388
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,667
Okay? Something that's gonna
draw attention to the studio.
389
00:20:45,733 --> 00:20:47,133
We need it fast.
390
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,767
I guess it's time to
get back to the bloodshed.
391
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:50,867
Gourmet cookies, huh?
392
00:20:50,933 --> 00:20:52,667
Hey, Polly, you
getting fancy on us?
393
00:20:52,733 --> 00:20:56,100
Just a little lovin'
from the oven, baby.
394
00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:58,200
(Ricki)
'Spread out,
make room for baby.'
395
00:20:58,267 --> 00:21:00,400
- Hey, watch it, man.
- Sorry, Butch.
396
00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:02,700
So what you servin' up
tonight, Polly?
397
00:21:02,767 --> 00:21:06,833
Mmm. Some sugar and spice
and everything nice.
398
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:08,533
[Gasps]
399
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,100
Mom and I used to
make cookies together.
400
00:21:11,167 --> 00:21:16,567
When she wasn't drunk,
face-down on the kitchen floor.
401
00:21:16,633 --> 00:21:20,133
But don't you just
love raw cookie dough?
402
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,700
- Mm.
- Cream puff.
403
00:21:22,767 --> 00:21:24,500
(Gingerdead man)
'Boy, you're gonna get it.'
404
00:21:24,567 --> 00:21:27,233
(Male #4)
'Hey, Butch, get your
lazy ass over here.'
405
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:29,067
Alright, I'm coming.
406
00:21:31,767 --> 00:21:33,767
(Polly)
'Hands off, bitch. He's mine.'
407
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,333
(Kelvin)
'This studio has been
in my family for over 75 years.'
408
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,567
You know, my father is
personally responsible
409
00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:46,200
For 1500 horror, sci-fi, martial
arts and action-adventure films.
410
00:21:46,267 --> 00:21:49,067
And I plan to continue
that legacy with my own brand
411
00:21:49,067 --> 00:21:51,067
Of high quality
genre entertainment.
412
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:52,367
We're one big,
happy family.
413
00:21:52,433 --> 00:21:55,600
There's not goddamn toilet paper
in the shitter again.
414
00:21:55,667 --> 00:21:56,633
'Dumb shit.'
415
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:59,900
I had to wipe my ass
with my socks.
416
00:22:00,067 --> 00:22:03,433
'I've had it with this dump
and your crappy projects.'
417
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:06,633
Fuck this shithole,
and fuck you, too.
418
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,700
'Do you hear me?
I fucking hate you.'
419
00:22:08,767 --> 00:22:09,733
'I hate you.'
420
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:10,767
[Sobbing]
421
00:22:10,833 --> 00:22:12,300
(Kelvin)
'Keep up the good work.'
422
00:22:12,367 --> 00:22:14,100
'I'll... see you on set.'
423
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:17,233
And this is the area where
we house all of our talent.
424
00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:19,900
Wow! Real life
movie star trailers.
425
00:22:19,967 --> 00:22:23,300
And not just any movie star,
but Sir Ian Cauvenaugh himself.
426
00:22:23,367 --> 00:22:25,867
Yeah, I-I wouldn't do that
if I were you, Kelvin.
427
00:22:25,933 --> 00:22:28,767
Oh. Tommy, Heather,
this is Jake Jackson.
428
00:22:28,833 --> 00:22:31,400
For 25 years, he's been
Hollywood's premiere stuntman
429
00:22:31,467 --> 00:22:32,700
And professional body double.
430
00:22:32,767 --> 00:22:34,300
He lives for danger.
431
00:22:34,367 --> 00:22:37,567
Hey, kid. Whatcha got under
the hood of that rig there?
432
00:22:37,633 --> 00:22:39,067
[Chuckling]
433
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:41,300
I was about to introduce
Tommy to the star
434
00:22:41,367 --> 00:22:43,067
Of our latest
Tiny Terrors picture.
435
00:22:43,067 --> 00:22:44,967
Yeah. Now's probably
not a good time.
436
00:22:45,067 --> 00:22:47,933
Why don't you guys go to the
special effects trailer, huh?
437
00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:50,433
I hear that they're building
a giant evil pineapple.
438
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:51,533
(Kelvin)
'No, no, no.'
439
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,333
This is sort of
a special occasion.
440
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,667
- I think he'd...
- Look.
441
00:22:54,733 --> 00:22:57,633
He's holding himself up in the
trailer. He's not coming out.
442
00:22:57,700 --> 00:22:59,100
Well, why not?
443
00:22:59,167 --> 00:23:01,733
Because he thinks
this movie is a piece of shit.
444
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,933
He hates the script and more
importantly, he hates you.
445
00:23:05,067 --> 00:23:06,667
What're you talking about, Jake?
446
00:23:06,733 --> 00:23:08,833
I've known Sir Ian
since I was eight.
447
00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:12,933
I used to mow his lawn.
We're practically family.
448
00:23:13,067 --> 00:23:17,067
So, you sneaky little
son of a bitch.
449
00:23:17,133 --> 00:23:18,667
Sir Ian. Sir Ian!
450
00:23:18,733 --> 00:23:21,233
Before you say anything,
I wanna introduce you to Tommy.
451
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,067
Comes to us from
the children's hospital
452
00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:25,067
Courtesy of the End Of
The Rainbow Foundation.
453
00:23:25,133 --> 00:23:27,667
They wheeled him all
the way here to meet you.
454
00:23:27,733 --> 00:23:30,733
They wheeled him in, and they
can bloody well wheel him out.
455
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,900
'You and I have some business
to take care of, sparky.'
456
00:23:33,967 --> 00:23:35,833
Now you listen to me. Eh?
457
00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:37,867
You know that
I'm a very busy man
458
00:23:37,933 --> 00:23:39,133
With a very busy schedule.
459
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,333
Movies, television shows,
personal appearances.
460
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:46,067
So, when the son of a dear
departed friend
461
00:23:46,067 --> 00:23:48,800
Of mine calls and
asks me to do him a favor
462
00:23:48,867 --> 00:23:52,633
'By appearing in
an independent family drama'
463
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:55,433
That is precisely
what I expect it to be.
464
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:58,067
Now it's revealed to me that
I've to burst into
465
00:23:58,067 --> 00:23:59,700
A papier mache castle
466
00:23:59,767 --> 00:24:04,067
Brandishing a real and
fully loaded AK-47 rifle
467
00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:07,400
'Just to blow to bits a bunch
of slime covered hand puppets.'
468
00:24:07,467 --> 00:24:09,167
Take it easy, Sir Ian.
469
00:24:09,233 --> 00:24:11,467
It's a family drama of sorts.
470
00:24:11,533 --> 00:24:15,433
After all, the Tiny Terrors
were all the spawn of Satan.
471
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:18,100
Not bloody likely, mate.
472
00:24:21,867 --> 00:24:25,900
So, who want to tour
the sound stages?
473
00:24:25,967 --> 00:24:28,233
'Gotta kill, gotta kill.
Where the hell am I?'
474
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,633
- I've had 'em done.
- 'Nice pair of cup cakes.'
475
00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:33,067
[Gingerdead Man smacking lips]
476
00:24:33,100 --> 00:24:34,700
'Eh, move it, asshole.'
477
00:24:34,767 --> 00:24:37,500
'I gotta get rid of this cookie
body. I'm getting stale.'
478
00:24:37,567 --> 00:24:42,133
Um, how do I transfer
my soul to a new host?
479
00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:48,067
What do you want me to do
with these satanic spell books?
480
00:24:48,133 --> 00:24:51,200
- Put them in the prop room.
- Oh, right, the prop room.
481
00:24:51,267 --> 00:24:52,733
Fucking prick.
482
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,267
Spell books?
How wonderfully contrived!
483
00:24:55,333 --> 00:24:57,267
[Laughing diabolically]
484
00:24:58,633 --> 00:25:00,600
'Oh, yeah.'
485
00:25:02,633 --> 00:25:04,067
[Screaming]
486
00:25:06,067 --> 00:25:07,633
You know, Dr. Callahan...
487
00:25:09,233 --> 00:25:11,967
- Damn it!
- 'Oh, I can't take it anymore.'
488
00:25:12,067 --> 00:25:14,767
I'm sorry, Ensign del Rio
but the only way to get
489
00:25:14,833 --> 00:25:16,733
This gestating creature
out of your body
490
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,867
Is with deliberate
and vigorous paddling.
491
00:25:18,933 --> 00:25:21,400
(Automated recording)
'Re-initiate
ass-paddle sequence.'
492
00:25:21,467 --> 00:25:23,300
Thank you, sister.
493
00:25:23,367 --> 00:25:25,133
[Screaming continues]
494
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,700
(Male #1)
'Work with us, del Rio,
work with us.'
495
00:25:27,767 --> 00:25:29,533
Don't you die on me,
you son-of-a-bitch.
496
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,933
Don't you die.
Let her have it.
497
00:25:33,067 --> 00:25:35,200
Take it easy back there,
you asshole!
498
00:25:35,267 --> 00:25:37,933
- 'Cut.'
- It freakin' hurts.
499
00:25:38,067 --> 00:25:40,667
Okay, everybody,
let's keep it moving.
500
00:25:40,733 --> 00:25:42,733
We got a lot to do.
501
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,967
Excuse me, Mr. DeCoteau,
how was that?
502
00:25:45,067 --> 00:25:46,333
'Was I good?'
503
00:25:48,267 --> 00:25:51,633
- Did you like what I did?
- Was it good?
504
00:25:51,700 --> 00:25:53,767
Did I like it?
505
00:25:53,833 --> 00:25:56,733
- Was it in focus?
- 'As far as I could tell.'
506
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,533
Kid, you were fucking brilliant.
507
00:26:04,267 --> 00:26:05,867
(Gingerdead Man)
'Now, let's see.'
508
00:26:05,933 --> 00:26:09,367
"Powers of invisibility."
Ah, completely far fetched.
509
00:26:09,433 --> 00:26:12,500
"Reanimation of dead tissue?"
Ridiculous.
510
00:26:12,567 --> 00:26:14,067
"Bringing dolls to life?"
511
00:26:14,100 --> 00:26:16,067
Sounds like
horse shit to me.
512
00:26:16,100 --> 00:26:20,133
"Transmigrations. Soul to body
transferring spell.
513
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,800
"Place a drop of blood
from five separate victims
514
00:26:22,867 --> 00:26:25,067
On the points
of an evil pentagram."
515
00:26:25,100 --> 00:26:26,367
Who writes this shit?
516
00:26:26,433 --> 00:26:28,567
"After the malevolent
incantation
517
00:26:28,633 --> 00:26:30,867
"A final kill, a sixth victim.
518
00:26:30,933 --> 00:26:34,733
"And that the body of a virgin
must be claimed.
519
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:39,200
Only then will transmigration
be complete."
520
00:26:39,267 --> 00:26:40,667
Easy as pie.
521
00:26:40,733 --> 00:26:43,533
This is gonna be
a fucking cakewalk.
522
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:44,933
[Laughing]
523
00:26:48,067 --> 00:26:51,133
Hey, this is the set
of my big science fiction epic
524
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,133
"Space Spankers 2015."
525
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,700
Wow! That's David DeCoteau.
526
00:26:56,767 --> 00:26:58,700
'His films are known
for their thrills'
527
00:26:58,767 --> 00:27:02,867
High concept gothic work
and subtle homo-eroticism.
528
00:27:02,933 --> 00:27:05,067
How's this for the
"Lunar Space Walk"?
529
00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:07,733
- Love it.
- Okay, guys, keep movin'.
530
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,533
Let's bring in the remote
controlled robot
531
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:10,833
For the Kung-Fu sequence?
532
00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:12,467
- Kelvin, I got good news.
- Great.
533
00:27:12,533 --> 00:27:14,767
Sort of. I got a call
from this company.
534
00:27:14,833 --> 00:27:17,067
They need an office
to shoot a few shots.
535
00:27:17,133 --> 00:27:18,967
- So?
- They can use one of ours.
536
00:27:19,067 --> 00:27:23,133
I got $3,000. It's enough to
stay afloat for another day.
537
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,167
Maybe by then,
the wire will come through.
538
00:27:25,233 --> 00:27:27,567
I'm saying, I can
rob Peter to pay Paul
539
00:27:27,633 --> 00:27:30,633
And think of another way to keep
everything going for a while.
540
00:27:30,700 --> 00:27:32,067
- You're a genius.
- Thank you.
541
00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:34,300
- What are they shooting?
- Ah, does it really matter?
542
00:27:34,367 --> 00:27:37,933
Three grand to shoot a movie.
It's a love story.
543
00:27:38,067 --> 00:27:41,233
Um, it's called
"Donkey Punch Office Party".
544
00:27:41,300 --> 00:27:44,267
It's a porn film. They're gonna
be shooting your office.
545
00:27:44,333 --> 00:27:46,333
- No pun intended.
- Did they pay you cash?
546
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,167
- Yes.
- They can have a great shoot.
547
00:27:48,233 --> 00:27:50,967
I told you everything will work
out. It's smooth sailing now.
548
00:27:51,067 --> 00:27:53,967
[Dramatic music]
549
00:27:54,067 --> 00:27:56,067
[Gingerdead Man laughing]
550
00:28:05,667 --> 00:28:07,667
Now, we're cooking!
551
00:28:12,100 --> 00:28:15,367
What is this? We're waiting
on just you, you know?
552
00:28:15,433 --> 00:28:18,733
Listen, I'm an effects
schlapper, not a miracle worker.
553
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,667
Told you guys this thing needed
to be completely rewired.
554
00:28:21,733 --> 00:28:23,800
I mean, that receiver
is totally shot.
555
00:28:23,867 --> 00:28:26,367
'Any way you can shit-rig
this to get it goin'?'
556
00:28:26,433 --> 00:28:27,900
- Shit riggin' shit, right?
- 'Exactly.'
557
00:28:27,967 --> 00:28:30,467
I think we should move the
controlling to the chest.
558
00:28:30,533 --> 00:28:33,533
I'll hard wire out the ankle.
We might get a better signal.
559
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:34,800
- It might work.
- I'm desperate.
560
00:28:34,867 --> 00:28:36,833
- Let's try it.
- See what it can do.
561
00:28:36,900 --> 00:28:39,800
- Great work, everybody.
- Get off my set, Mary.
562
00:28:39,867 --> 00:28:43,300
Mr. Cheatum, when can I see
the Tiny Terrors?
563
00:28:43,367 --> 00:28:46,400
It is getting late. We should
take him to the little puppets.
564
00:28:46,467 --> 00:28:47,900
Sure.
565
00:28:47,967 --> 00:28:50,967
I can't wait to see his look
when he sees 'em face-to-face.
566
00:28:51,067 --> 00:28:53,733
You have really pretty eyes.
567
00:28:55,067 --> 00:28:56,667
[Dramatic music]
568
00:28:58,733 --> 00:29:02,400
One down, four to go.
Who's next on the hit parade?
569
00:29:02,467 --> 00:29:05,367
* Oh I love a parade *
570
00:29:05,433 --> 00:29:07,367
* La la la la **
571
00:29:07,433 --> 00:29:09,933
'Here you are.'
Get your big ass back on set.'
572
00:29:10,067 --> 00:29:12,100
'Don't fuck with me.'
573
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:14,133
'This ain't my first day
at the rodeo.'
574
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,467
Nothing like a little slice
of fruit cake.
575
00:29:16,533 --> 00:29:18,267
[Evil laughter]
576
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,400
I like to say a well fed crew
is a happy crew.
577
00:29:24,467 --> 00:29:27,733
Can I interest you in a bottle
of water or a rice cake?
578
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:32,300
Hey, I know her.
You're Polly Bunderhoof.
579
00:29:32,367 --> 00:29:35,567
She was the screen queen
in the early '80s.
580
00:29:35,633 --> 00:29:38,067
"Was" is the key word
there, bright eyes.
581
00:29:38,133 --> 00:29:42,100
It's nice to meet you.
This is Tommy and I'm Heather.
582
00:29:42,167 --> 00:29:44,733
You were in "Biker business
from beyond and back."
583
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,100
I'm surprised you noticed me
without my cattle prod.
584
00:29:48,167 --> 00:29:50,067
We like to keep
everyone working.
585
00:29:50,133 --> 00:29:51,867
I didn't know
you were an actress.
586
00:29:51,933 --> 00:29:54,767
There's a lot you don't
know about me, tiger.
587
00:29:54,833 --> 00:29:58,500
- What happened?
- What happened, happened, baby.
588
00:29:58,567 --> 00:30:00,900
A botched set of implants.
589
00:30:00,967 --> 00:30:04,967
A cruel sentencing on a woman
who makes living off her bosom.
590
00:30:05,033 --> 00:30:08,433
Well, it was certainly
nice meeting you.
591
00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:10,233
Where did you say
those puppets were?
592
00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:13,667
Can I have your autograph,
Miss Bunderhoof?
593
00:30:13,733 --> 00:30:19,400
And that's at no charge,
you cute little billiard ball.
594
00:30:19,467 --> 00:30:22,333
You take real good care
of yourself, young man.
595
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:26,333
When you get hungry later,
you know where Polly is.
596
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,333
Thanks, Ms. Bunderhoof.
597
00:30:34,900 --> 00:30:36,867
(Male on speaker)
'Attention, Tiny Terrors
crew members.'
598
00:30:36,933 --> 00:30:38,500
'We're gonna break
for another ten'
599
00:30:38,567 --> 00:30:41,900
'While we try and get Sir Ian
out of the streamer again.'
600
00:30:41,967 --> 00:30:44,567
'I could use a little
help out here, guys.'
601
00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:51,433
[Sighing]
602
00:30:51,500 --> 00:30:53,800
Time for a little maintenance,
old girl.
603
00:31:06,267 --> 00:31:08,367
(Gingerdead Man)
'Ooh, what have we here?'
604
00:31:08,433 --> 00:31:10,367
[Intense music]
605
00:31:27,467 --> 00:31:29,400
[Gingerdead Man cackling]
606
00:31:30,733 --> 00:31:34,067
I'm getting too old
for this shit.
607
00:31:38,367 --> 00:31:40,300
'Ooh, fun.'
608
00:31:43,233 --> 00:31:44,700
[Buzzing]
609
00:31:47,467 --> 00:31:48,933
That story is partially true.
610
00:31:49,067 --> 00:31:50,967
But, I was eventually
acquitted of all charges.
611
00:31:51,067 --> 00:31:54,767
This is Lord Astros's
evil lair.
612
00:31:54,833 --> 00:31:56,767
It look so much bigger on TV.
613
00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:02,667
Guess the Tiny Terrors are back
in the special effects shop.
614
00:32:02,733 --> 00:32:04,200
(Heather)
'Wow!'
615
00:32:04,267 --> 00:32:06,867
What an amazing life you have.
616
00:32:06,933 --> 00:32:09,800
It must be so much fun
doing this for a living.
617
00:32:09,867 --> 00:32:12,133
It is. Your job is really...
618
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:16,933
This is where we're shooting
a big virgin sacrifice scene
619
00:32:17,067 --> 00:32:18,233
That erases the Tiny Terrors.
620
00:32:18,300 --> 00:32:20,600
Kick-ass!
621
00:32:20,667 --> 00:32:23,067
Seems like you really do
have a fan here.
622
00:32:23,133 --> 00:32:26,967
- Thanks.
- Maybe two, actually.
623
00:32:30,067 --> 00:32:31,667
Thanks again.
624
00:32:31,733 --> 00:32:33,667
'Making movies is all I know.'
625
00:32:34,767 --> 00:32:36,300
As far as I can remember
626
00:32:36,367 --> 00:32:39,467
I used to watch my father
run this studio.
627
00:32:39,533 --> 00:32:43,067
Everyday he came to work,
he had a big smile on his face.
628
00:32:43,067 --> 00:32:45,400
Because he loved
what he did so much.
629
00:32:45,467 --> 00:32:49,600
I always knew that when I grew
up, this is what I wanted to do.
630
00:32:49,667 --> 00:32:52,067
Here I am.
631
00:32:52,100 --> 00:32:54,167
I just love making movies.
632
00:32:54,233 --> 00:32:56,433
Now, I know the movies
we make here
633
00:32:56,500 --> 00:32:59,800
Aren't considered art
or mainstream.
634
00:32:59,867 --> 00:33:02,333
But for me, it's a passion.
635
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,767
'And for the select crowd
that wants something different'
636
00:33:04,833 --> 00:33:06,900
'I got them lining
up around the block.'
637
00:33:06,967 --> 00:33:09,700
Love 'em or hate 'em,
at my studio you're in store
638
00:33:09,767 --> 00:33:13,067
For something that you can't see
at any regular old movie house.
639
00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:15,733
I guess we both make
wishes come true.
640
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,600
Except for Demon Warrior 13.
641
00:33:17,667 --> 00:33:20,667
I just don't see what the big
deal is with me making
642
00:33:20,733 --> 00:33:23,400
The kind of movies
that I wanna see.
643
00:33:23,467 --> 00:33:25,200
If you're gonna hate
something so much
644
00:33:25,267 --> 00:33:27,233
Before you can open
up the package, then...
645
00:33:27,300 --> 00:33:28,967
'...why bother even watching?'
646
00:33:29,067 --> 00:33:34,800
I'm looking forward to see what
you guys have created here.
647
00:33:34,867 --> 00:33:37,333
- Really?
- Really.
648
00:33:38,067 --> 00:33:40,067
[Pleasant music]
649
00:33:54,267 --> 00:33:56,200
[Dramatic music]
650
00:34:05,433 --> 00:34:08,733
'Oh, the cougar is ready
to stalk her prey.'
651
00:34:11,067 --> 00:34:12,367
'Meow.'
652
00:34:18,967 --> 00:34:20,633
'Hey Charlie,
you seen Nick?'
653
00:34:20,700 --> 00:34:23,467
No man. It's just like that
asshole to fucking disappear.
654
00:34:23,533 --> 00:34:25,267
[Intense music]
655
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:31,867
[Music continues]
656
00:34:40,567 --> 00:34:44,067
'I should have an assistant to
help me with this kind of crap.'
657
00:34:45,767 --> 00:34:49,867
I shouldn't be doing
this manual labor, I'm a VIP.
658
00:34:49,933 --> 00:34:52,933
Sixteen hour days,
no second meal.
659
00:34:53,067 --> 00:34:55,667
I've had it with
these losers. I'm a star.
660
00:34:55,733 --> 00:35:00,400
I should never have thrown away
my passion for jazz dance.
661
00:35:00,467 --> 00:35:02,933
'You try to do
someone a favor by working'
662
00:35:03,067 --> 00:35:06,067
For less than half your rate,
they don't even pay you that.
663
00:35:06,067 --> 00:35:08,800
I'll be paying them
to show up in this shit hole.
664
00:35:08,867 --> 00:35:11,200
Well, this bitch has had enough.
665
00:35:11,267 --> 00:35:14,167
'Try and be nice,
and all they do'
666
00:35:14,233 --> 00:35:17,367
Is turn right around
and fuck you...
667
00:35:17,433 --> 00:35:18,967
Right in the ass.
668
00:35:19,067 --> 00:35:21,233
Ask and you shall receive.
669
00:35:23,767 --> 00:35:26,167
[Moaning]
670
00:35:28,533 --> 00:35:30,067
[Laughing]
671
00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:36,767
[Screaming]
672
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:46,433
[Electric crackling]
673
00:35:46,500 --> 00:35:49,067
[Gingerdead Man cackling]
674
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,700
That ought to teach you
to eat raw cookie dough.
675
00:35:57,067 --> 00:35:59,667
Sorry, bonehead,
I need to borrow this.
676
00:35:59,733 --> 00:36:00,900
[Knife creaking]
677
00:36:03,067 --> 00:36:05,067
- Hey, Holmes, did you find him?
- No.
678
00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:07,600
But I can smell Polly's cooking
her fried bologna sandwiches.
679
00:36:07,667 --> 00:36:09,533
- I'll see you at the table.
- Yeah.
680
00:36:10,767 --> 00:36:13,533
[Laughing]
681
00:36:17,933 --> 00:36:22,867
Oh, real good to hear
my boy's gettin' enough
682
00:36:22,933 --> 00:36:24,767
'Roughage in his diet.'
683
00:36:24,833 --> 00:36:26,200
Polly.
684
00:36:26,267 --> 00:36:28,933
Oh, I'm sorry about that,
it is the other bathroom.
685
00:36:29,067 --> 00:36:31,767
Oh, God, open the window.
686
00:36:31,833 --> 00:36:35,733
I thought you and I could have
a little quality time together.
687
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:40,133
Christ Almighty, my eyes
are about to melt.
688
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,200
A lot can happen in 15 minutes.
689
00:36:43,267 --> 00:36:45,800
Especially when it comes
to the chemistry
690
00:36:45,867 --> 00:36:48,733
'Between a man and a woman.'
691
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:53,167
Chemistry? Um, I better get back
to my dressing room.
692
00:36:53,233 --> 00:36:55,533
I gotta pump up
for the next scene.
693
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:59,667
Oh, if anybody can
help you pump up...
694
00:36:59,733 --> 00:37:01,633
'...it's Ms. Polly.'
695
00:37:03,900 --> 00:37:05,667
You know you want it.
696
00:37:05,733 --> 00:37:08,800
'I've seen the way
you've been looking at me.'
697
00:37:08,867 --> 00:37:12,233
I don't remember really looking
at you very much at all.
698
00:37:12,300 --> 00:37:14,467
Oh, you've been lookin'.
699
00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:19,167
Why don't you just surrender
to this eroticism before you?
700
00:37:19,233 --> 00:37:21,067
'It's synergy, baby.'
701
00:37:21,133 --> 00:37:25,167
- Synergy? I...
- I'm double jointed.
702
00:37:25,233 --> 00:37:28,500
I just had rejuvenation surgery
703
00:37:28,567 --> 00:37:30,500
'On my under carriage.'
704
00:37:30,567 --> 00:37:31,900
Oh, God.
705
00:37:31,967 --> 00:37:36,533
I'll introduce you to every
casting director in town.
706
00:37:37,633 --> 00:37:40,333
[Moaning]
707
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,933
Oh, this is gonna be
way too easy.
708
00:37:44,067 --> 00:37:45,733
[Peppy music]
709
00:37:48,967 --> 00:37:52,267
- 'Kelvin.'
- Yes, Marty.
710
00:37:52,333 --> 00:37:55,067
- I'm sorry to interrupt.
- Just finishing up my tour.
711
00:37:55,100 --> 00:37:58,633
Okay, you might want
a-a little, just a little...
712
00:37:58,700 --> 00:38:01,267
Sir Ian is still not
coming out of his trailer.
713
00:38:01,333 --> 00:38:04,267
'We need him for the next scene.
I could use help.'
714
00:38:04,333 --> 00:38:07,833
I'll talk to him. We'll stop by
on the way to see the puppets.
715
00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:09,867
- 'It'll be fun.'
- Puppets are fun. Let's go.
716
00:38:09,933 --> 00:38:12,467
(Kelvin)
'It should be fun.
Puppets.'
717
00:38:12,533 --> 00:38:13,933
(Polly)
'Oh that's...
718
00:38:14,067 --> 00:38:16,067
'Oh, oh, that's it.'
719
00:38:16,067 --> 00:38:17,867
- 'What have we here?'
- Forget the ankle.
720
00:38:17,933 --> 00:38:20,167
(Polly)
'Oh, that's it, that's it.'
721
00:38:20,233 --> 00:38:21,600
[Polly moaning]
722
00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:25,333
- That's it, baby.
- 'More, more, yeah.'
723
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:26,867
- 'That's the right spot.'
- 'That's it.'
724
00:38:26,933 --> 00:38:27,900
[Polly moaning]
725
00:38:27,967 --> 00:38:29,133
'Oh, honey.'
726
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:30,700
- That's it.
- 'Keep goin', keep goin'.'
727
00:38:30,767 --> 00:38:33,533
[Gingerdead Man
and Polly groaning]
728
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,767
Oh, you're gonna get an Oscar
for this performance.
729
00:38:36,833 --> 00:38:40,633
- You like that?
- Oh, Ms. Polly likes it.
730
00:38:42,300 --> 00:38:44,767
Oh, life is good.
731
00:38:44,833 --> 00:38:47,633
That's it baby, that's it.
732
00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:51,133
(Polly)
'Oh, honey! That's it.'
733
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:54,433
Oh, that's it.
734
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:58,667
'Well that's it.
Oh, oh, honey, Polly likes it.'
735
00:38:58,733 --> 00:39:00,333
Oh, fuck!
736
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,300
- You want a cookie?
- Yeah.
737
00:39:02,367 --> 00:39:05,233
Yeah, I wanna get
a cookie right now!
738
00:39:05,300 --> 00:39:08,333
- Eat your cookie.
- I got your fucking cookie.
739
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:09,867
[Polly moaning]
740
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:13,700
[Dramatic music]
741
00:39:13,767 --> 00:39:15,333
[Polly groaning]
742
00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:20,067
[Groaning continues]
743
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,367
Very funny, ready for
sloppy seconds.
744
00:39:25,433 --> 00:39:27,933
[Nick retching]
745
00:39:28,067 --> 00:39:29,400
[Gingerdead Man laughing]
746
00:39:29,467 --> 00:39:31,467
My work here is done.
747
00:39:32,867 --> 00:39:34,600
[Dramatic music]
748
00:39:43,467 --> 00:39:46,700
Half way there. Now, where to
continue the party?
749
00:39:48,667 --> 00:39:51,433
'Oh, yeah.'
750
00:39:51,500 --> 00:39:53,533
'Who's ready
for the close up now?'
751
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,833
C'mon, man, get the lead out.
You gotta move.
752
00:39:55,900 --> 00:39:56,967
Yeah, we gotta move.
753
00:39:57,067 --> 00:39:58,767
'Cause I'm giving you
another 30 minutes
754
00:39:58,833 --> 00:40:00,833
Before I move my fat ass out.
755
00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:02,133
Sure thing, man.
756
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,567
I can really appreciate
how tired you must be.
757
00:40:05,767 --> 00:40:06,833
Cunt.
758
00:40:08,933 --> 00:40:12,167
Looks like this tall drink of
water wants to check out early.
759
00:40:12,233 --> 00:40:16,000
I think I can assist him
with that. Ha ha ha.
760
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:19,400
Sir Ian.
761
00:40:21,633 --> 00:40:23,767
It's Kelvin.
762
00:40:23,833 --> 00:40:25,367
Hope you had a nice rest.
763
00:40:25,433 --> 00:40:30,100
'Look... I've been thinking
about our conversation earlier.'
764
00:40:30,167 --> 00:40:32,733
'And I'm sorry.'
765
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,633
'I guess I wasn't totally honest
about the content of our movie.'
766
00:40:36,700 --> 00:40:39,500
But, Sir Ian,
you're so talented.
767
00:40:39,567 --> 00:40:42,900
My crew loves you,
my fans love you so much.
768
00:40:42,967 --> 00:40:45,633
And I love you
so very much, Sir Ian.
769
00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:48,900
Heck, even the terminally ill
Tommy here...
770
00:40:48,967 --> 00:40:51,967
Oh, he loves you, he
loves you so very much, Sir Ian.
771
00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:53,433
Hi.
772
00:40:53,500 --> 00:40:55,733
Know what, you're a part
of motion picture history.
773
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:57,067
We look up to you.
774
00:40:57,133 --> 00:40:59,200
It's an honor that
you would even consider
775
00:40:59,267 --> 00:41:01,067
Being a part of my project.
776
00:41:01,133 --> 00:41:03,967
You know, I've idolized you
since I was a little kid.
777
00:41:05,333 --> 00:41:06,900
All my friends are fans.
778
00:41:06,967 --> 00:41:08,800
Heck, let's face it.
779
00:41:08,867 --> 00:41:12,267
Even my father idolized you
when he was a kid.
780
00:41:12,333 --> 00:41:13,267
[Screaming]
781
00:41:17,533 --> 00:41:19,067
Oh...
782
00:41:19,100 --> 00:41:20,167
Awesome.
783
00:41:22,433 --> 00:41:25,633
Miserable shit-rig operation.
784
00:41:25,700 --> 00:41:29,133
Kelvin could ruin two movies
at the same time.
785
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,233
His first and his last.
786
00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:34,800
'Who'd have thought I'd spend
the autumn of my career'
787
00:41:34,867 --> 00:41:37,467
'With my hand
up a puppet's ass?'
788
00:41:37,533 --> 00:41:39,467
This looks like
my kind of joint.
789
00:41:44,533 --> 00:41:46,233
What the hell?
790
00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:53,333
Could it be, I found myself
a partner in crime?
791
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:56,100
Oh, what a piece of ass!
792
00:41:59,067 --> 00:42:01,833
Hey, baby.
In town long?
793
00:42:01,900 --> 00:42:04,500
Oh, you're
making my loaf rise.
794
00:42:04,567 --> 00:42:08,667
Damn, girl, you got a mug on you
that only a mother could love.
795
00:42:08,733 --> 00:42:12,067
Oh, playin' hard to get, huh?
796
00:42:12,067 --> 00:42:15,067
'Don't you got
a sweet tooth, hmm?'
797
00:42:15,100 --> 00:42:17,700
I got something
that'll melt in your mouth.
798
00:42:17,767 --> 00:42:19,067
Hell, no! Who is that?
799
00:42:19,100 --> 00:42:20,633
'Is this a staring contest?'
800
00:42:20,700 --> 00:42:23,733
Spit it out, already.
Cat got your tongue?
801
00:42:26,067 --> 00:42:29,667
I'll ride you long and hard.
Come here, baby.
802
00:42:29,733 --> 00:42:31,067
'That's it, that's it.'
803
00:42:31,067 --> 00:42:34,067
Oh, arch your back.
Arch your back. Hold still.
804
00:42:34,067 --> 00:42:36,300
Do you wanna touch it,
oh, you dirty bitch.
805
00:42:36,367 --> 00:42:38,967
Wanna pull your hair?
You want a touch of it.
806
00:42:39,067 --> 00:42:40,800
Who the hell is that?
807
00:42:40,867 --> 00:42:42,900
'Let go of my fucking arm.'
808
00:42:42,967 --> 00:42:45,167
'Don't you like bondage?'
809
00:42:46,533 --> 00:42:48,733
Well, if you
aren't gonna put out
810
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:51,400
I guess I'm gonna have
to put you out.
811
00:42:51,467 --> 00:42:53,867
[Screaming]
812
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:56,300
[Chainsaw buzzing]
813
00:42:56,867 --> 00:42:58,067
[Laughing]
814
00:43:00,067 --> 00:43:01,200
[Screaming]
815
00:43:09,867 --> 00:43:11,800
[Screaming continues]
816
00:43:32,300 --> 00:43:33,400
Oh, my god!
817
00:43:33,467 --> 00:43:35,933
Oh, have I been a bad boy?
818
00:43:36,067 --> 00:43:37,867
Sorry, I can't stick
around for dessert.
819
00:43:37,933 --> 00:43:39,400
- 'Wow.'
- That's tight.
820
00:43:39,467 --> 00:43:40,600
Give me your tie.
821
00:43:42,533 --> 00:43:44,100
(Kelvin)
'What the hell was that?'
822
00:43:44,167 --> 00:43:45,700
[Groaning]
823
00:43:45,767 --> 00:43:47,367
- 'Hold still.'
- Attention, all crew members.
824
00:43:47,433 --> 00:43:50,400
Everybody's released for the
day. Get in your cars and go.
825
00:43:50,467 --> 00:43:51,967
'Kelvin, did you
just call wrap?'
826
00:43:52,067 --> 00:43:55,067
Yes, just get out of here.
Everyone run for you lives.
827
00:43:55,100 --> 00:43:57,600
(Man on phone)
'You heard him.
Shootin' us down again.'
828
00:43:57,667 --> 00:43:59,533
'Everybody make a run for it.'
829
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,967
Just hold still,
you're gonna be okay.
830
00:44:03,067 --> 00:44:06,900
Okay? I had my fuckin' hand
cut off, lady.
831
00:44:06,967 --> 00:44:09,700
Everything's gonna be fine,
just try not to bleed too much.
832
00:44:09,767 --> 00:44:11,233
- I'm calling for help.
- '911 emergency.'
833
00:44:11,300 --> 00:44:13,067
(Heather)
Please, stop moving,
please, please.
834
00:44:13,100 --> 00:44:15,133
We've been invaded
by an evil, chainsaw-wielding
835
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:16,700
Possessed cookie monster.
836
00:44:16,767 --> 00:44:19,800
- 'Shh. It's okay.'
- Wait, hello, no.
837
00:44:19,867 --> 00:44:21,233
Look!
838
00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:22,233
- Something!
- Something...
839
00:44:23,067 --> 00:44:26,567
[Ominous music]
840
00:44:26,633 --> 00:44:28,067
(Female #2)
'Get outta here.'
841
00:44:30,633 --> 00:44:33,567
[People clamoring]
842
00:44:38,900 --> 00:44:40,500
- Be careful!
- What?
843
00:44:42,433 --> 00:44:43,467
[Screams]
844
00:44:43,533 --> 00:44:45,900
There's a dead body
in there.
845
00:44:45,967 --> 00:44:47,533
What is happening?
846
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,967
[People screaming]
847
00:44:51,833 --> 00:44:53,500
[Tires screeching]
848
00:44:55,333 --> 00:44:56,367
(Heather)
'Tommy.'
849
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,067
'Tommy?'
850
00:45:01,067 --> 00:45:02,233
Hello.
851
00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:03,233
[Gasps]
852
00:45:08,633 --> 00:45:09,767
[Clanking]
853
00:45:20,067 --> 00:45:22,067
[Music continues]
854
00:45:22,067 --> 00:45:23,400
[Laughter at distance]
855
00:45:29,967 --> 00:45:31,933
Tommy?
856
00:45:32,067 --> 00:45:34,400
Where are you?
857
00:45:34,467 --> 00:45:36,367
Is anyone here?
858
00:45:36,433 --> 00:45:37,367
[Loud clanking]
859
00:45:43,733 --> 00:45:45,800
What was that thing?
860
00:45:45,867 --> 00:45:49,100
That was, that was one
of your stupid puppets, right?
861
00:45:49,167 --> 00:45:51,200
What was it?
862
00:45:51,267 --> 00:45:53,867
Our puppets
never looked that ridiculous.
863
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,133
[Evil laughter]
864
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,667
[Music continues]
865
00:46:05,667 --> 00:46:07,300
[Laughter at distance]
866
00:46:07,367 --> 00:46:09,267
This is crazy.
867
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:20,300
[Thud]
868
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:22,533
Tommy?
869
00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:25,633
Stay behind me.
870
00:46:27,067 --> 00:46:28,167
(Tommy)
'Help me.'
871
00:46:28,233 --> 00:46:29,500
I'm not afraid.
872
00:46:30,167 --> 00:46:31,333
I'm not afraid.
873
00:46:31,967 --> 00:46:33,567
I'm not afr...
874
00:46:33,633 --> 00:46:35,067
'Help me, Heather.'
875
00:46:35,067 --> 00:46:36,800
[Door creaking]
876
00:46:39,900 --> 00:46:41,400
'I'm over here.'
877
00:46:41,467 --> 00:46:43,200
He's in the spacesuit.
C'mon, hurry.
878
00:46:43,267 --> 00:46:44,600
- Wait.
- 'What?'
879
00:46:44,667 --> 00:46:48,067
I mean... how much time
does he really have left anyway?
880
00:46:48,067 --> 00:46:49,067
[Heather gasping]
881
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,333
[Music continues]
882
00:47:02,233 --> 00:47:03,367
[Metal clanking]
883
00:47:14,067 --> 00:47:14,967
Tommy?
884
00:47:16,767 --> 00:47:17,700
Tommy?
885
00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:20,700
[Metal clanking]
886
00:47:23,667 --> 00:47:25,233
(Tommy)
'Help me!'
887
00:47:29,633 --> 00:47:30,967
[Thud]
888
00:47:39,067 --> 00:47:40,433
'Help!'
889
00:47:40,500 --> 00:47:41,467
Tommy?
890
00:47:43,500 --> 00:47:44,567
Tommy?
891
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:48,733
Tommy?
892
00:47:52,333 --> 00:47:53,267
Tommy?
893
00:47:54,833 --> 00:47:56,833
Tommy, you can come out now.
894
00:47:59,467 --> 00:48:02,633
Tommy, don't be afraid.
We're just here to...
895
00:48:02,700 --> 00:48:04,367
[Screaming]
896
00:48:07,100 --> 00:48:10,533
I was on my way to the car,
and I get attacked by...
897
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:12,600
Shh, we know,
we know, we saw it.
898
00:48:12,667 --> 00:48:14,167
'Where's, uh,
where's that thing from?'
899
00:48:14,233 --> 00:48:16,067
I don't know.
900
00:48:19,867 --> 00:48:22,433
What's, what's
that I smell?
901
00:48:22,500 --> 00:48:25,433
It-it smells
like cinnamon extract.
902
00:48:26,733 --> 00:48:28,800
- Oh, he's coming.
- This can't be happening.
903
00:48:28,867 --> 00:48:30,333
I-I just wanna make movies.
904
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:32,933
I didn't wanna die.
I didn't wanna die.
905
00:48:34,267 --> 00:48:36,433
Pull yourself together.
906
00:48:36,500 --> 00:48:38,700
We gotta stay inside and hide.
907
00:48:38,767 --> 00:48:42,233
I say, trying to get out now
is like a death sentence.
908
00:48:42,300 --> 00:48:46,267
No, don't go. That thing
will tear you limb from limb.
909
00:48:46,333 --> 00:48:49,367
We can escape. We're gonna be
trapped here like rats, c'mon.
910
00:48:49,433 --> 00:48:52,067
Jake, he's right,
you gotta come with us, c'mon.
911
00:48:52,067 --> 00:48:54,067
Damn you, Cheatum!
912
00:48:54,133 --> 00:48:58,533
I tell you, that cookie's
a killing machine!
913
00:48:58,600 --> 00:48:59,633
What the hell?
914
00:48:59,700 --> 00:49:01,067
[Zapping]
915
00:49:07,367 --> 00:49:09,800
I told you so!
916
00:49:10,967 --> 00:49:12,200
(Robot)
'Bye-bye.'
917
00:49:12,267 --> 00:49:14,767
Oh, my God! I thought
that thing was a prop!
918
00:49:14,833 --> 00:49:16,967
So did I. It must've rewired.
919
00:49:17,067 --> 00:49:20,067
Damn, those guys
are really good.
920
00:49:20,133 --> 00:49:23,800
Nothin' says lovin'
like a headshot from the oven.
921
00:49:23,867 --> 00:49:26,600
Get ready to have
your biscuits burned.
922
00:49:26,667 --> 00:49:28,067
- It's him.
- Get down.
923
00:49:30,367 --> 00:49:31,767
[Evil laughter]
924
00:49:38,433 --> 00:49:39,867
[Mechanical whirring]
925
00:49:42,300 --> 00:49:44,933
Hello, my little cherry pie.
926
00:49:46,967 --> 00:49:50,067
You ready to have
your bagel toasted, baby?
927
00:50:01,300 --> 00:50:03,233
Are you okay?
928
00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:04,333
Yeah.
929
00:50:05,367 --> 00:50:06,300
[Mumbling]
930
00:50:07,500 --> 00:50:09,633
"Demon Warrior-13?"
931
00:50:09,700 --> 00:50:12,267
No, it's, it's...
932
00:50:12,333 --> 00:50:15,100
Here's Tommy.
933
00:50:15,167 --> 00:50:18,533
Did I say
Thomas "The Terror" Goldberg.
934
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,600
Esteemed film critic
and columnist
935
00:50:21,667 --> 00:50:25,067
'For the internationally
renowned horror website'
936
00:50:25,133 --> 00:50:28,233
"Bloodyfissures.com."
937
00:50:28,300 --> 00:50:31,733
Screen name,
Demon Warrior-13.
938
00:50:34,500 --> 00:50:35,633
Oh, shit!
939
00:50:35,700 --> 00:50:39,067
Yeah, remember me, dickwad?
940
00:50:39,133 --> 00:50:41,267
Kid who sent you
countless scripts
941
00:50:41,333 --> 00:50:43,233
Which were callously rejected
942
00:50:43,300 --> 00:50:45,133
'And returned unopened.'
943
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,000
Well, we really try
not to accept unsolicited mail.
944
00:50:48,067 --> 00:50:49,000
[Gunshot]
945
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:50,733
Silence.
946
00:50:51,667 --> 00:50:53,600
Tommy, I thought that you...
947
00:50:53,667 --> 00:50:55,400
Yeah, you thought,
you thought, you thought.
948
00:50:55,467 --> 00:50:58,333
You didn't think too hard,
did you, darling?
949
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,400
Do you have any idea
how hard it is to fake
950
00:51:01,467 --> 00:51:03,833
A terminal illness
in the name of vengeance?
951
00:51:05,333 --> 00:51:08,500
'You have really gotta have
a passion to make your point.'
952
00:51:08,567 --> 00:51:13,867
And tonight, Kelvin, I'll
be making the ultimate point
953
00:51:13,933 --> 00:51:16,600
'Because your studio
is about to premier'
954
00:51:16,667 --> 00:51:20,067
Its biggest bomb ever.
955
00:51:20,100 --> 00:51:21,867
[Laughing]
956
00:51:21,933 --> 00:51:23,967
'You like the bad pun?'
957
00:51:24,067 --> 00:51:26,833
You should, 'cause your movies
are filled with them.
958
00:51:26,900 --> 00:51:28,400
'Seriously.'
959
00:51:28,467 --> 00:51:31,367
I tried to warn you
in all my scathing reviews
960
00:51:31,433 --> 00:51:34,067
But you didn't listen.
961
00:51:34,067 --> 00:51:37,067
Thomas... Mr. Terror...
962
00:51:37,133 --> 00:51:39,100
I don't know
if now's a good time
963
00:51:39,167 --> 00:51:40,667
I'm a fan of your website.
964
00:51:40,733 --> 00:51:43,733
Of course, you are.
I'm brilliant.
965
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:46,167
I've read
literally every single
966
00:51:46,233 --> 00:51:49,067
'Screenwriting instruction
manual that exists.'
967
00:51:50,233 --> 00:51:52,533
I know how to make a good movie
968
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:56,133
But do you hire the people that
know what they're doing? No.
969
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,900
'You're too busy
making sequels'
970
00:51:58,967 --> 00:52:03,367
'Or-or following your dreams
or hiring your friends.'
971
00:52:03,433 --> 00:52:05,667
'All in the name
of having a good time.'
972
00:52:08,100 --> 00:52:11,667
You ruined
the Tiny Terrors franchise.
973
00:52:11,733 --> 00:52:13,333
The new script sucks.
974
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,933
Everybody with a fuckin' brain
in their head knows
975
00:52:16,067 --> 00:52:20,167
That you-you can't kill
a possessed imp with a AK-47.
976
00:52:21,533 --> 00:52:24,767
You need an exorcist
for anything as powerful
977
00:52:24,833 --> 00:52:27,500
As a haunted dildo.
978
00:52:27,567 --> 00:52:31,167
Scorsese's probably rolling
in his grave at the thought
979
00:52:31,233 --> 00:52:33,300
'Of you and this
shit-rig operation.'
980
00:52:33,367 --> 00:52:35,533
Actually, Martin Scorsese
is still alive.
981
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,633
I said, shut up, butt-sniff!
982
00:52:38,700 --> 00:52:41,433
And get ready
to meet my little friend.
983
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,667
'It all ends tonight.'
984
00:52:44,733 --> 00:52:46,900
No more cheesy props.
985
00:52:49,233 --> 00:52:53,067
No more ridiculous
storylines and scenarios.
986
00:52:53,067 --> 00:52:56,833
'No more meandering
self-righteous monologues.'
987
00:52:57,567 --> 00:52:59,467
[Beeping]
988
00:52:59,533 --> 00:53:03,133
When I'm done here,
no one will ever have to watch
989
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:06,700
One of your movies
ever, ever again.
990
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:12,767
Get ready, 'cause it's about
to call final picture wrap.
991
00:53:12,833 --> 00:53:15,733
Wait! You're right.
992
00:53:18,433 --> 00:53:20,267
- You absolutely right.
- What?
993
00:53:20,333 --> 00:53:24,400
Don't do that. What you're
saying is making perfect sense.
994
00:53:24,467 --> 00:53:26,833
Uh, I'm a total hack.
995
00:53:26,900 --> 00:53:29,367
I have no talent.
996
00:53:29,433 --> 00:53:31,367
I have no idea
what I'm doing.
997
00:53:33,300 --> 00:53:35,600
I desperately need
someone like you on my team.
998
00:53:38,067 --> 00:53:41,267
And sadly, you've had to go to
this extreme to make me realize
999
00:53:41,333 --> 00:53:42,900
'That I can't do this alone.'
1000
00:53:42,967 --> 00:53:46,267
- Really?
- Yes, really.
1001
00:53:46,333 --> 00:53:51,100
Yes, you big, brilliant,
cinematic genius son of a bitch!
1002
00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:55,767
I need someone like you.
1003
00:53:57,133 --> 00:53:58,733
We need you.
1004
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,267
'Let's face it.'
1005
00:54:00,333 --> 00:54:02,700
Since I took over
1006
00:54:02,767 --> 00:54:04,533
Our movies have become
total kaka.
1007
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,667
[Beeping continues]
1008
00:54:07,900 --> 00:54:09,633
Well, I mean,
they're not that bad.
1009
00:54:09,700 --> 00:54:11,433
I'm mean,
I'm renting them, right?
1010
00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:13,367
I'm watching 'em.
1011
00:54:13,433 --> 00:54:17,833
I mean... obviously, there's an
audience for what you're doing.
1012
00:54:17,900 --> 00:54:21,167
You guys have been at it for 50
years. Must be doing something.
1013
00:54:21,233 --> 00:54:22,967
You know what?
1014
00:54:23,067 --> 00:54:25,133
Right here, right now
1015
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:27,567
I wanna offer you
a three picture deal.
1016
00:54:27,633 --> 00:54:28,600
What?
1017
00:54:30,067 --> 00:54:31,133
Really?
1018
00:54:37,067 --> 00:54:39,067
Well, I've gotta say,
I'm feeling awkward here.
1019
00:54:39,133 --> 00:54:42,600
No, no, this
isn't awkward at all.
1020
00:54:42,667 --> 00:54:45,167
You did the right thing.
1021
00:54:45,233 --> 00:54:47,400
You know what, on Monday,
we're going create
1022
00:54:47,467 --> 00:54:49,200
A whole new slate
just for you.
1023
00:54:49,267 --> 00:54:50,733
I can't believe
I'm hearing this.
1024
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,733
I mean, all this time,
all I've ever wanted to do
1025
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:56,467
Was be in the business.
1026
00:54:56,533 --> 00:54:59,433
I mean, you do know
I live with my mother, right?
1027
00:54:59,500 --> 00:55:01,500
And I operate
out of her basement.
1028
00:55:01,567 --> 00:55:02,833
No, I didn't know that.
1029
00:55:02,900 --> 00:55:04,100
Yeah.
1030
00:55:04,167 --> 00:55:06,667
God, it feels so good
to finally talk about it.
1031
00:55:06,733 --> 00:55:09,300
I'm down there
and she's all up in my ass
1032
00:55:09,367 --> 00:55:12,700
With, "Get a job"
and "No more piercings"
1033
00:55:12,767 --> 00:55:16,100
And I'm like
"Please, c'mon, I'm 27."
1034
00:55:16,167 --> 00:55:18,467
'I don't need her
telling me what to do.'
1035
00:55:18,533 --> 00:55:21,567
Well, you never have to hear
her bitching at you ever again.
1036
00:55:23,333 --> 00:55:25,600
'You've arrive,
Thomas Goldberg.'
1037
00:55:25,667 --> 00:55:29,100
Or should I say
Thomas Terror?
1038
00:55:29,167 --> 00:55:31,800
Something tells me
you're gonna be responsible
1039
00:55:31,867 --> 00:55:34,067
For Cheatum Studio's
biggest hit!
1040
00:55:37,133 --> 00:55:38,233
My bad.
1041
00:55:38,300 --> 00:55:39,233
(Jake)
Ha!
1042
00:55:42,067 --> 00:55:44,067
[Screaming]
1043
00:55:47,367 --> 00:55:51,567
Oh, my God, my fucking spine.
A little help, a little help.
1044
00:55:51,633 --> 00:55:54,467
Oh, God. Ouch.
1045
00:55:54,533 --> 00:55:55,800
[Groaning]
1046
00:56:04,067 --> 00:56:04,967
[Thunder]
1047
00:56:05,667 --> 00:56:06,867
[Thomas laughing]
1048
00:56:13,767 --> 00:56:16,400
'You know, you two would've
been so much better off'
1049
00:56:16,467 --> 00:56:19,933
'If you just would've let me
blow you to smithereens.'
1050
00:56:20,067 --> 00:56:22,500
Thomas Terror,
you untie us right now.
1051
00:56:22,567 --> 00:56:24,633
But now,
you're going to die
1052
00:56:24,700 --> 00:56:27,300
Surrounded by
your shitty little puppets
1053
00:56:27,367 --> 00:56:29,133
'In the final shitty scene'
1054
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:32,367
Of your final shitty movie.
1055
00:56:32,433 --> 00:56:35,500
'Consider it payback
for all the cinematic headaches'
1056
00:56:35,567 --> 00:56:37,600
You put me through
over the years.
1057
00:56:37,667 --> 00:56:39,167
Maybe you should've
reconsidered
1058
00:56:39,233 --> 00:56:42,167
The whole unsolicited
mail policy.
1059
00:56:42,233 --> 00:56:43,667
Yeah.
1060
00:56:43,733 --> 00:56:46,900
By the way, I knew
you were faking the whole time.
1061
00:56:46,967 --> 00:56:48,633
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
1062
00:56:48,700 --> 00:56:50,700
- No, you didn't.
- I did!
1063
00:56:50,767 --> 00:56:52,700
Kelvin. Kelvin!
1064
00:56:52,767 --> 00:56:55,433
Please, you're not
helping things.
1065
00:56:55,500 --> 00:56:59,433
Please, Tommy, don't do this.
I don't wanna die.
1066
00:56:59,500 --> 00:57:01,567
Just, just let me go,
and I promise
1067
00:57:01,633 --> 00:57:04,400
I won't tell anybody, I swear.
1068
00:57:04,467 --> 00:57:08,067
Tommy, didn't I take you to all
those comic book conventions?
1069
00:57:08,100 --> 00:57:10,333
Remember when I got you
and the other kids
1070
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:12,633
Front row seats
to the Shriner Circus?
1071
00:57:12,700 --> 00:57:14,200
'That was me, Tommy.'
1072
00:57:14,267 --> 00:57:15,800
Heather Crocker.
1073
00:57:15,867 --> 00:57:18,433
I'm a human being
with feelings.
1074
00:57:18,500 --> 00:57:20,800
I have a sister
with a hair-lip.
1075
00:57:20,867 --> 00:57:24,200
I didn't come in and ruin
his father's movie studio.
1076
00:57:24,267 --> 00:57:28,900
That was him. Kill him if you
want, but please, let me go.
1077
00:57:28,967 --> 00:57:31,200
And all this time,
I thought we were bonding.
1078
00:57:31,267 --> 00:57:33,267
Enough, you bitches.
1079
00:57:40,067 --> 00:57:43,400
Ha ha. And now,
before I cut out
1080
00:57:43,467 --> 00:57:46,833
'Your worthless,
hopeful little hearts'
1081
00:57:46,900 --> 00:57:49,233
I will hold you captive audience
1082
00:57:49,300 --> 00:57:52,067
As I read
an antagonizing passage
1083
00:57:52,133 --> 00:57:56,533
'From your own hokey-pokey
spell book that I found'
1084
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:59,233
In the prop room.
Same spell that...
1085
00:57:59,300 --> 00:58:01,367
Uh, this is too good to be true.
1086
00:58:01,433 --> 00:58:05,667
Since the 1950's, which,
by the way,
1087
00:58:05,733 --> 00:58:08,733
I'll be putting up for
a memorabilia auction on eBay
1088
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,633
'Just as I'm done
killing you!'
1089
00:58:11,700 --> 00:58:13,100
[Evil laughter]
1090
00:58:13,167 --> 00:58:14,433
[Thunder]
1091
00:58:18,833 --> 00:58:21,867
I call upon
the powers of earth.
1092
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:28,933
I call upon the powers of fire.
1093
00:58:29,067 --> 00:58:30,567
[Thunder]
1094
00:58:30,633 --> 00:58:35,133
I call upon the powers of wind.
1095
00:58:43,967 --> 00:58:46,067
Alright, let's skip that part.
1096
00:58:46,067 --> 00:58:48,233
'Sacrificial heart removal,
here it is.'
1097
00:58:48,300 --> 00:58:51,833
"Before the ceremony can begin
the executioner must first carve
1098
00:58:51,900 --> 00:58:54,967
'The unholy star pentagram
in the palm of his own hand."'
1099
00:58:56,733 --> 00:58:59,533
Ooh. Okay, you know what?
Let's forget that part too.
1100
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:00,733
There we go.
1101
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:04,333
"Demonic torture ceremony."
Hello!
1102
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:06,633
Ladies and gentlemen,
I think we found a keeper.
1103
00:59:06,700 --> 00:59:10,100
Excuse me, Mr. Terror,
you're not thinking straight.
1104
00:59:10,167 --> 00:59:12,067
You think?
1105
00:59:12,100 --> 00:59:15,100
"In order to begin the ceremony,
where the blood of the sacrifice
1106
00:59:15,167 --> 00:59:17,067
Will rejuvenate
Satan's evil house."
1107
00:59:17,133 --> 00:59:20,800
Sounds fun, so far.
First you must start with...
1108
00:59:20,867 --> 00:59:23,900
Unsuspecting virgin.
1109
00:59:23,967 --> 00:59:24,900
[Screaming]
1110
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:29,633
I'll make it
so you never have to watch
1111
00:59:29,700 --> 00:59:31,600
'Another bad movie again.'
1112
00:59:31,667 --> 00:59:33,267
[Evil laughter]
1113
00:59:41,167 --> 00:59:42,667
Wrong spot.
1114
00:59:46,900 --> 00:59:48,833
* I got my virgin *
1115
00:59:51,567 --> 00:59:54,067
Thank you, thank you so much,
Mr. Gingerbread Man.
1116
00:59:54,133 --> 00:59:55,067
Thank you.
1117
00:59:56,300 --> 00:59:57,667
Ha ha ha.
1118
01:00:00,767 --> 01:00:04,100
That's Gingerdead Man,
and thank you.
1119
01:00:04,167 --> 01:00:05,100
Ha ha ha.
1120
01:00:05,167 --> 01:00:07,000
[Animal howling]
1121
01:00:07,067 --> 01:00:10,833
(Gingerdead Man)
'Not sure if the guy with
cut off arm bit it or not.'
1122
01:00:10,900 --> 01:00:13,700
I need to off one of you
as an insurance policy
1123
01:00:13,767 --> 01:00:15,567
'To make sure
I have five victims'
1124
01:00:15,633 --> 01:00:19,233
Which means, I've to use
Ron Howard there as my new host.
1125
01:00:19,300 --> 01:00:20,533
Hello.
1126
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:23,067
[Growling]
1127
01:00:23,133 --> 01:00:25,567
Oh, hell, I miss mortal flesh.
1128
01:00:25,633 --> 01:00:28,200
'It's hard to get your groove
on while you're laying'
1129
01:00:28,267 --> 01:00:31,633
On some bakery shelf next
to a pile of apple fritters.
1130
01:00:31,700 --> 01:00:33,133
You're insane.
1131
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:35,733
(Gingerdead Man)
'I'll even give you
a second helping.'
1132
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:37,467
[Laughing]
1133
01:00:37,533 --> 01:00:40,033
'Now it's time for you
and your leading man here'
1134
01:00:40,100 --> 01:00:42,033
To get your desserts.
1135
01:00:42,100 --> 01:00:44,000
[Ominous music]
1136
01:00:45,633 --> 01:00:46,733
[Thunder]
1137
01:00:53,867 --> 01:00:54,800
'Oh, God...
1138
01:00:58,733 --> 01:01:00,600
(Puppet)
Let's do this shit.
1139
01:01:01,933 --> 01:01:03,300
Huh? What the fuck?
1140
01:01:03,367 --> 01:01:05,733
(Female puppet)
Who's that
here with us?
1141
01:01:07,433 --> 01:01:09,367
You're gonna get it now, baby.
1142
01:01:15,133 --> 01:01:16,967
The puppets,
they're coming to life.
1143
01:01:17,067 --> 01:01:18,800
Close your eyes, Heather.
1144
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:23,600
[Beeping]
1145
01:01:25,367 --> 01:01:27,300
Get your fucking hands
off of me.
1146
01:01:27,367 --> 01:01:29,333
Don't you know,
sweets are bad for you?
1147
01:01:30,667 --> 01:01:34,267
(Gingerdead Man)
'Let me go,
where're you taking me?'
1148
01:01:34,333 --> 01:01:36,267
(Heather)
'What're they saying?'
1149
01:01:40,067 --> 01:01:41,333
Get outta my house.
1150
01:01:42,867 --> 01:01:44,200
(Puppet #2)
Don't touch me.
1151
01:01:48,667 --> 01:01:49,867
(Gingerdead Man)
'It's stupid.'
1152
01:02:01,533 --> 01:02:03,467
[Music continues]
1153
01:02:06,100 --> 01:02:08,067
[Speaking gibberish]
1154
01:02:10,833 --> 01:02:13,133
Oh, please, stop that. Stop!
1155
01:02:14,467 --> 01:02:17,433
Uh, no! I'm too young to die.
1156
01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:19,067
No! No! No!
1157
01:02:19,133 --> 01:02:22,067
Oh, please, what a world,
what a world.
1158
01:02:25,067 --> 01:02:29,333
Don't! No, no, don't.
Ow, that hurts a lot.
1159
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:33,467
(Gingerdead Man)
'No, not my tootsies,
not my yummy little tootsies.'
1160
01:02:33,533 --> 01:02:35,100
'Ow!'
1161
01:02:35,167 --> 01:02:36,433
[Speaking gibberish]
1162
01:02:40,067 --> 01:02:41,700
[Groaning]
1163
01:02:41,767 --> 01:02:43,600
God, that hurts a lot.
1164
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:49,633
(Heather)
'Make them stop.'
1165
01:02:49,700 --> 01:02:50,867
Oh, God.
1166
01:02:50,933 --> 01:02:52,133
Oh, God!
1167
01:02:53,567 --> 01:02:54,500
[Screaming]
1168
01:03:02,767 --> 01:03:04,667
What's happening?
1169
01:03:04,733 --> 01:03:06,200
You don't wanna know.
1170
01:03:06,267 --> 01:03:08,667
'The horror! The horror!'
1171
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:13,333
[Music intensifies]
1172
01:03:21,633 --> 01:03:23,067
[Laughing]
1173
01:03:25,067 --> 01:03:28,400
- The thing, it's burning.
- What?
1174
01:03:28,467 --> 01:03:30,467
What the hell?
1175
01:03:34,133 --> 01:03:36,400
What? No, no.
1176
01:03:36,467 --> 01:03:38,767
Didn't know you could
do that to a cookie.
1177
01:03:38,833 --> 01:03:40,700
What? What're they doing?
1178
01:03:40,767 --> 01:03:41,967
[Screaming]
1179
01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:46,767
Stay with me, Heather.
Stay with me.
1180
01:03:54,900 --> 01:03:58,767
Howdy-ho, you half baked,
pint sized shit pickers.
1181
01:03:58,833 --> 01:04:01,267
Look! It's Sir Ian Cavanaugh.
1182
01:04:01,333 --> 01:04:04,733
It's time to send you
back to hell's kitchen.
1183
01:04:05,833 --> 01:04:06,767
[Heather screaming]
1184
01:04:12,300 --> 01:04:15,233
[Dramatic music]
1185
01:04:17,267 --> 01:04:19,200
(Heather)
'What's happening?
What they're doing?'
1186
01:04:23,800 --> 01:04:25,133
[Screaming]
1187
01:04:26,900 --> 01:04:28,700
[Indistinct shouting]
1188
01:04:32,167 --> 01:04:34,100
[Music continues]
1189
01:04:45,067 --> 01:04:46,567
[Laughing]
1190
01:04:48,933 --> 01:04:53,067
'I suppose that's the way
the cookie crumbles, eh?'
1191
01:04:53,100 --> 01:04:54,467
[Cauvenaugh laughing]
1192
01:04:57,167 --> 01:04:58,767
Ah, Kelvin...
1193
01:04:58,833 --> 01:05:01,067
I guess I was wrong.
1194
01:05:01,133 --> 01:05:04,633
'I guess it uh, did
look kind of good, uh'
1195
01:05:04,700 --> 01:05:06,067
'To say the least.'
1196
01:05:06,133 --> 01:05:08,067
[Pleasant music]
1197
01:05:13,067 --> 01:05:14,933
Where is everybody?
1198
01:05:16,067 --> 01:05:17,533
'Where's the crew?'
1199
01:05:19,267 --> 01:05:21,433
You did get all that,
didn't you?
1200
01:05:22,867 --> 01:05:24,167
'Kelvin?'
1201
01:05:28,100 --> 01:05:29,933
Kelvin!
1202
01:05:31,267 --> 01:05:33,133
'You little son of a bitch.'
1203
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:35,433
'I should have known better
than to lure myself'
1204
01:05:35,500 --> 01:05:39,067
'To work with
such a rank amateur.'
1205
01:05:39,100 --> 01:05:41,400
'You'll be hearing
from my lawyer.'
1206
01:05:41,467 --> 01:05:43,433
'Do you hear me?'
1207
01:05:43,500 --> 01:05:45,433
Will you forgive me?
1208
01:05:46,700 --> 01:05:49,167
I'm a sucker
for happy ending.
1209
01:05:49,233 --> 01:05:51,167
[Music continues]
1210
01:06:08,067 --> 01:06:09,800
(Female announcer)
'And now, the winner for
1211
01:06:09,867 --> 01:06:13,100
'Best horror hand puppet
motion picture is'
1212
01:06:13,167 --> 01:06:15,333
'Kelvin Cheatum
for Tiny Terrors'
1213
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:17,400
'Purgatory of the Petite.'
1214
01:06:17,467 --> 01:06:19,767
'Book and lyrics
by Kelvin Cheatum.'
1215
01:06:19,833 --> 01:06:21,767
[Audience cheering]
1216
01:06:26,700 --> 01:06:29,167
(Male narrator)
So they lived
happily ever after
1217
01:06:29,233 --> 01:06:31,700
The storyteller
and his new wife.
1218
01:06:31,767 --> 01:06:36,500
They've remembered the dead,
but more importantly, life.
1219
01:06:36,567 --> 01:06:40,367
And another chapter ended
for the Gingerdead Man.
1220
01:06:40,433 --> 01:06:44,333
It seemed his story finished
when their story began.
1221
01:06:45,767 --> 01:06:48,767
Cookies should stay
inside of their jars
1222
01:06:48,833 --> 01:06:52,967
Not murder and kill
and hijack your cars.
1223
01:06:53,067 --> 01:06:56,800
So follow your dreams
no matter what they say.
1224
01:06:56,867 --> 01:07:01,067
Never listen to critics,
those assholes are lame.
1225
01:07:01,133 --> 01:07:04,600
And warn all your children
in search of a treat...
1226
01:07:05,333 --> 01:07:06,700
[Eerie music]
1227
01:07:06,767 --> 01:07:09,333
Eat all your veggies...
1228
01:07:22,533 --> 01:07:25,933
Because you are
what you eat.
1229
01:07:26,067 --> 01:07:27,367
[Thunder rumbling]
1230
01:07:28,167 --> 01:07:29,100
[Laughing]
1231
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:44,433
* Run run run
as fast as you can *
1232
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:50,133
* That don't mean
I devise the plan *
1233
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:52,567
* I'm sick I'm whack
I'm a maniac *
1234
01:07:52,633 --> 01:07:54,567
* I'm switched out flat
I'll bust a cap*
1235
01:07:54,633 --> 01:07:58,800
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
1236
01:07:58,867 --> 01:08:01,167
* So run *
1237
01:08:01,233 --> 01:08:03,333
* Just run *
1238
01:08:03,400 --> 01:08:06,067
* I said run *
1239
01:08:06,067 --> 01:08:10,300
* Run run run
as fast as you can *
1240
01:08:10,367 --> 01:08:14,533
* Your number's up
meet your hatchet man *
1241
01:08:14,600 --> 01:08:16,800
* I'll kick I'll claw
I'll bust your jaw *
1242
01:08:16,867 --> 01:08:18,967
* I'm meaner than
a mother-in-law *
1243
01:08:19,067 --> 01:08:23,400
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
1244
01:08:23,467 --> 01:08:25,700
* So run *
1245
01:08:25,767 --> 01:08:27,700
* Just run *
1246
01:08:27,767 --> 01:08:30,133
* I said run *
1247
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:33,200
* I'm a Syrian outcast
out for blood *
1248
01:08:34,933 --> 01:08:39,367
* Nowhere to go
your name is mud *
1249
01:08:39,433 --> 01:08:41,300
* You're dead meat
your ass is grass *
1250
01:08:41,367 --> 01:08:43,633
* I'm openin' up
a can of whoop-ass *
1251
01:08:43,700 --> 01:08:47,800
*So run run run
as fast as you can *
1252
01:08:47,867 --> 01:08:50,067
* So run *
1253
01:08:50,067 --> 01:08:52,233
* Just run *
1254
01:08:52,300 --> 01:08:54,633
* I said run *
1255
01:08:54,700 --> 01:08:59,067
* I'm a hateful
negative sociopath *
1256
01:08:59,067 --> 01:09:01,633
* I'll turn you hot
you'll feel my wrath *
1257
01:09:03,633 --> 01:09:05,800
* I'll grind your bones
to bake my bread *
1258
01:09:05,867 --> 01:09:07,967
* You won't come back
'cause you'll be dead *
1259
01:09:08,067 --> 01:09:12,233
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
1260
01:09:12,300 --> 01:09:14,467
* So run *
1261
01:09:14,533 --> 01:09:16,767
* Just run *
1262
01:09:16,833 --> 01:09:19,300
* I said run *
1263
01:09:19,367 --> 01:09:23,533
* Run run run
as fast as you can *
1264
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:28,167
* I'll take you out
with a frying pan *
1265
01:09:28,233 --> 01:09:30,133
* You're in my way
I'm ready to brawl *
1266
01:09:30,200 --> 01:09:32,367
* I'm a walking
talking wrecking ball *
1267
01:09:32,433 --> 01:09:36,767
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
1268
01:09:36,833 --> 01:09:39,067
* So run *
1269
01:09:39,067 --> 01:09:41,200
* Just run *
1270
01:09:41,267 --> 01:09:43,467
* I said run *
1271
01:09:43,533 --> 01:09:47,900
* Better run and hide
as fast as you can *
1272
01:09:47,967 --> 01:09:52,667
* I'm out for blood
it's your last stand *
1273
01:09:52,733 --> 01:09:54,733
* Done me wrong
gotta pay the price *
1274
01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:56,767
* Time to pay the piper
time to spice *
1275
01:09:56,833 --> 01:10:01,033
* So run run run
as fast as you can *
1276
01:10:01,100 --> 01:10:03,400
* So run *
1277
01:10:03,467 --> 01:10:05,633
* Just run *
1278
01:10:05,700 --> 01:10:07,867
* I said run *
1279
01:10:07,933 --> 01:10:10,033
* So run *
1280
01:10:10,100 --> 01:10:12,333
* Just run *
1281
01:10:12,400 --> 01:10:14,467
* I said run *
1282
01:10:14,533 --> 01:10:16,800
* So run *
1283
01:10:16,867 --> 01:10:20,133
* Just run *
1284
01:10:25,933 --> 01:10:28,733
* Yeah **
94068
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.