All language subtitles for Hitmen s02e04.eng

- Jamie?

Konnichiwa, where is the canal?

Come on.
? My regret ?

- Are you done braiding each
other's hair or whatever?

We've got a job to do, come on.

? It makes me ?

- Ah, what else?

Um, a tarpaulin, some rope
and a meat saw, please.

This is ridiculous.

? Happened on the safe side ?

- Franny.

- Jamie ready?

- Ooh.

- Sorry, I overslept.

A bit of a bender last night.

Kat had a speaking
engagement, so.

- And I wanted to say
thank you to my bestie

for helping me, so we
had a few drinky-poos.

- Yes, I can smell all of them.

- Yeah, it did get a
bit Keith Richards.

- Don't look at me.

I wasn't the one who
gate crashed a hen party.

- Gosh, that's strong
for a school night.

- I mean, they needed me.

The maid of honour was
doing her best, but-

- Yeah, she was
no Captain Party.

Go on, do the voice.

- Ah-har, me party hearties.

- Oh, mm.

- Ah, looks like we
weren't the only one

who had a big night
last night, Franny.

- Didn't leave the house, Katty.

- Seriously? Wow.

So empowered to just not give
a shit what you look like.

Love that.

- Did these scarves come as
a sort of bargain 2 for 1?

- No, this is just another
little thank you from me.

- This is 100% silk,
designer scarf, Fran.

- Mm.

Can you still call it
a scarf if it's so thin

it doesn't actually
keep you warm?

I was just wondering.

- Franny, would you
mind taking a quick snap

of the survivors for us?

- Oh yes.
- Ooh.

- Come on, ready? One, two-

There you go.

- Thank you.

- We should probably
go. We're a bit late.

Very important security
training course, you know.

That's proper work, proper,
no drinky-poos there.

- Me too.

I have got a meeting with my
publisher about my new book.

Um, everyone's still buying
the shit out of the old one.

Chill out.

So this will be the
longest we've been away

from each other in weeks.

Do you really have to go
away for the whole weekend?

- I'm afraid it's just
how long the course lasts.

- I'll miss you.

- I'll miss you, too.

- All right, I'm gonna go,
and I'll be in the van.

- You'll talk to her, yeah,
about what we discussed.

- Yeah, I'll try mighty good.

- Best you do it sooner
rather than later.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay?

Unless you've changed
your mind, Jamie.

You can be honest with me.

If this isn't what you want...

- No, no, no. No, no.

No, it definitely is.

I'll tell her today, I promise.

- You have so much
courage inside of you

and we're just starting
to unlock it together.

- Oh, Fran, why'd you have to
park all the way over there?

- All right,
straight to A&E

or should we do the job first?

- Jamie!

Ah-har.

- Ah-har.

Oh, dear.

- Right, milking it now.

- Oh, my head.

Sorry about the hangy, mate.

I know it's unprofessional.

- No, it's absolutely
fine, mate.

- Really? I thought
you'd be cross.

- What, me?

I'm super chill, well, you know.

It's an easy job today, anyway.

We'll just have
fun, hanging out,

mates being mates and all that,

just a couple of A-grade
assassins literally slaying.

Oh, that's an 80%
proof sigh, that one.

You sure you're
okay to do this hit?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm
a professional.

So who are we slaying today?

- Oh, it's easy, this one.

Big crime boss, organ harvester.

- Ugh.

- Can you imagine removing
somebody's eyeballs?

I mean, what would you do?

Would you take them out
with spoon?

Or would you go for a sort of
sucking technique ?

Big straw?
- No, Fran, no.

- Oh, what about guts?

Slippery, like a wet rope-

- Okay.
- That goes on forever.

- Okay, you can stop now.
- Liver.

That's not nice, a
couple of kidneys,

pop them out, your giblets.

Do humans have giblets?

Excellent.

Right over the
freshly raked gravel.

Ready whenever you are, Captain.

You see, this is why I
don't go to hen parties.

Or parties. Or out, ever.

I'm a teetotal killing machine,

like the Terminator
or Saudi Arabia.

- I think I
got it all up now.

- Well, listen, give
me a hand with Methven,

we'll take you to a
nice, warm travel lodge,

get a nice watery
Masala down you,

some hair of the dog.

- Nothing to get out.

- Do you know what?

I'm really glad that
you and Kat had a chance

to just, you know, hang out
before we leave for Japan.

- Ooh, yeah, definitely.

- Oh, talking of which, Mr.
V's got the flight itineraries

all sorted, so you need
to sort that visa out.

- Yeah, yeah, no,
I will, definitely.

- Good.

Good. All right.

Come on, give me a hand.

Okay.

I don't wanna stay
in here too long.

I'd lose a kidney.

- That'd be awful.

- Oh, she's back in
the room.

Do you know what?

We could never be
organ harvesters.

- Why?
- It takes guts.

- Oh! She's good.

I would applaud, obviously,

but I'm handling a dead body.

- Yeah.

- Now, where we gonna hide him?

- Good question.

I've no idea.

Oh, yeah.

- Yeah, they've
got nice coffins, actually.

It's a bit of a waste that they
go in the ground, isn't it?

? I got a feeling and the
feeling is all right ?

? It's a funny thing ?

? When it comes to you ?

- Call the lawyers.

Got sent pictures
from last night.

Oh, dear.

Oh my God, I don't remember
the stripper joining us

for karaoke.

Okay, mate, we were doing
shots off the stripper's abs.

- Yeah.

I'm just driving.

- No, look, this is
the best photo, look.

Straws shaped like willies.

Mad, right?

- Do you get any work done,

or is it just cock
straws and carnage?

- Yeah, we did work, but
it didn't feel like work,

'cause it was just so much fun.

It was really cool to
meet some new people

and then not have to kill them.

- Hang on.

Holy shit, that's a hearse.

- Wait, is that Methven
and son following us?

- Well, Methven's dead, mate.

- So that's and son.

God, he's gonna come
get our kidneys.

- Yeah, just calm down.

It's probably just
a coincidence.

It's just another undertaker.

- Well, okay, let's
just slow down a bit

and see if they overtake.

- I don't think this
undertaker is gonna overtake.

He is following us.

? We live in a windswept hell ?

? Where dust and
death are neighbours ?

? We hide in a perfect storm ?

? Not even God remembers ?
- What's he doing?

Drive. Drive.

Drive, Fran, Drive.

Go, go, go.
- Yeah, I'm going,

going, going!

He's right behind us.

That is not a respectable
speed for a hearse.

No, that is too close.

- He looks kinda upset,

almost like we killed
his dad or something.

Oh God.

- I'm skipping from
3rd to 5th gears.

? I don't care, care,
care if it's old ?

? I don't mind, I don't
mind, I don't mind ?

? I don't mind, mind ?
- Bloody hell.

? Get away, get away, get away ?

? Get away, get away, get away ?

- Shit!

Fork, fork!
- Fork acknowledged.

Fork acknowledged.

Evasive right.

? She said ?
- Ooh, nice turn.

- Yes, off you piss and son.

Off you piss.

- Do you
think we lost him?

- Looks like it.

- Wow, that adrenaline's
really cut through my hangover.

- Do you know what I
feel like right now?

Pork jalfrezi.

- Okay, definitely hasn't.

Oh my God, look.

- God, it's him, it's him.

- Go down there,
left, left, left.

- Thank you, left hand maneuver.

- No, don't worry. I
don't think he saw us.

Okay, he's gone, he's gone.

Dead end.

- Yep, dead
end acknowledged.

- Yeah, go
in here, go in here.

Okay, yeah, that's great.

- Hang on, hang on, he's here.

- Okay, go, go, go, go, go.

- Where?

- Oh, shit, I'm the driver.

Pop it in reverse. Reversing.

Bollocks.

Ugh.
- Let's get the spare.

- Okay.
- Oh.

- All right, mate.

- Okay.

Nick it, Jamie.

Get out!

- Should we be going
back to the van?

What if he's still there?

- Well, have you
got a better idea?

We're in the middle of nowhere.

Oh, balls, this is dead.

Can I borrow yours?

- No, just, I've gotta reply
to this before it dies.

- Jamie.

Jamie.

- Yeah, just sending it.

- Jamie.
- Yeah.

Wait. He's still there.

Oh, shit.

Right, okay.

- Where is he?

- I don't know.

Obviously, he's left his
keys, so he can't be far.

He's obviously looking for us.

Get in.
- What?

- Get in the hearse, quick.

- You're so good at this, Fran.

I mean, you're really
made for this job.

- Yeah, thanks, mate.

I think we make a good team.

- Mm.

- Can you just not?

I'm gonna confiscate
that, all right?

What could be so
important that she needs

to be in contact with you
every second of the day?

- Well, actually, it
is quite important

because Kat's offered me a job.

- Doing what?

- Well, she wants me to
be her right hand woman.

- Right hand woman?

I mean, that's not
a job title, is it?

That's not something
you can put on a CV.

I mean, right hand woman.

It's not really a
thing, is it, Jamie?

- Well, it is a thing,
and I'm going to take it,

and I'm sorry you feel that way.

- What way?

I'm not sure about the logistics

of this thing, to be honest.

I mean, how is being
Kat's right hand woman

gonna fit with
everything we've got on?

I mean, we've got
Japan and I mean,

you've got a lot of commitments.

- Well, Kat wants me to
start straightaway, so.

- I don't think you've
thought this through.

I mean, unless it's something
you can do remotely,

but the time difference, it's-

- No, Fran, the job
with Kat would be

instead of going
to Japan with you.

- Whoa, hold on.

What?

- I'm not coming to Japan.

And I'm sorry you feel that way.

- Will you stop saying, "And
I'm sorry you feel that way"?

It's not even a real apology,
apart from everything else.

- You don't really
need me anyway.

I'm sure Mr. V would
just find a replacement.

- Just a temporary
break, though, eh?

- Kat said I should
follow my bliss.

- Follow your bliss?
- Yes.

- You sound like a
shit scatter cushion.

I'm sorry, Kat's
pushed you into this.

I was gonna hold my
tongue, keep my peace,

but no, she's brainwashing you.

She's a psycho and she's trying
to steal you away from me.

- What are you talking about?

She's actually a
really good friend.

- Something's going on.

I mean, why else
would you let somebody

live in your place rent-free
or make them packed lunches

with wee, little
notes and sayings

and give you pocket money?

- It's not pocket
money. It's expenses.

- No, you are her
golden retriever.

Mm-hmm.

She's made you beholden to
her so that you have to do

everything she wants.

Oh God, why else would
you have got the job?

- Because she likes me,
because I'm useful to her.

I know it's hard
for you to conceive

that I might be
able to do something

that you haven't
instructed me to do.

- I haven't been
instructing you, Jamie.

I've been helping you.

And to be honest,
most of the time,

you're an active hindrance.

- Wow.

Kat said you'd react like that.

- Oh, Kat's poison.

She's just got in your ears.

Just when we finally got to
do what you wanted to do.

- No, what you wanted to do.

Maybe I want
something different.

Maybe I want to
not do the same job

that I've been doing
for, well, ever.

Maybe I want to explore things.

Maybe I want to
expand my horizons.

- We're going to the Land
of the Rising Sun, Jamie.

How much more
horizons do you want?

We were going up

in the world, we were
literally going far.

Nailing assassinhood.

Jamie.

- Is this heaven?
- I think,

traditionally,
heaven's a lot brighter

and less cramped
than this, mate.

- Can I
have my phone back,

or is it still confiscated?
- It's in my back pocket.

Oh, for heaven's sake, no,
that's my front bottom.

That's, yep, oh-
- Oh, yep.

- Just a bit
pinchy. Hang on, just-

- Got it. Got it, got it.

Oh, 17 messages.

Well, I hope Kat doesn't
think I'm ignoring her.

- Just forget Kat.
Pass us the phone.

Yep, yeah, okay.

Yep, that's what I expected.

- I think we're in a coffin.

- We're in a coffin, yeah, yeah.

And I'm claustrophobic,
so maybe it'll be

the panic attack for me, please.

- Let's just try and push
that up, right, this-

Oh, my phone's just died, too.

- If you hadn't spent
the whole time texting Kat,

trying to stab your
best mate in the back,

then we wouldn't
be about to perish.

- Wait, I've got an idea.

Yay.

- Ooh, great.

I can use the cock torch to
check for cracks and gaps.

Mm-hmm, yes.

Yes, we are going to die.

- Okay, you're
not gonna like it,

but I have just farted.

- Oh, God, burning my nostrils.

- I'm really sorry, okay, that
you feel so hurt about Japan.

It's just that Kat thinks I
need to really fully realise my-

- I don't, I really don't
wanna die talking about Kat,

thanks, or as it goes,
holding a cock torch.

- Yeah, but I don't want
us to go out on a barmy.

I'm really sorry for being
actively a hindrance.

- No, I'm sorry.

You're not actively a hindrance.

I just use criticism as a mean
of just emotional expression.

I'm very repressed.

I love you.

- I love you too.

Should we kiss, then?

- What?

- I don't know, I've just
we've never done before.

- Why do you have to
make everything so weird?

- Right, we've
lost the cock torch.

- Listen to me, I'm
so sorry I wasn't there

for you when you had
to live in a van.

- It was actually
quite comfortable.

What's he doing?

- What's going on?

- I don't know.

It sounds like he's leaving.

Let's push the lid again.

- One, two, three.

- What the...

- Where the hell is he?

- Let's not wait to find out.

We need to move.
- Yep.

- Something's not right.

- Wait, is that?

Kat.

- Oh my God.

What the hell are
you doing here?

- We got lost.

What are you doing here?

How did you find us?

- Find My Friends.

I freaked out when you
stopped replying to my texts.

I was so worried.

Sorry, you must think I'm mad.

I know you said the training
course would be intense,

but I just thought you might
be in serious trouble or.

Why are you walking around
in the middle of nowhere?

- Oh, just a really
intensive hardcore

SAS type training course, yes.

You know, dump you in the
middle of the wilderness

and find your way
back to civilization,

that kind of thing.

- Hmm.

- Not really suitable
for civilians.

- Well, I'm
just glad you're okay.

I was so worried.

Let's get you out of here.

- Oh.

- Careful.

My car's this way.

You looking for something?

- Oh, yeah, just our teammates.

This was the rendezvous point,

but I think we've
beaten them to it.

You haven't seen a very
long, black car, have you?

- I actually did see a car
screech off when I got here.

Maybe that was them.

- Oh, they pranked us.

Didn't even wait.

Classic them.
- Ah.

Ah.

- What?

You don't find this
My Find a Friend thing

a bit odd, do you?

- What do you mean?

- It's creepy.

She's tracking your every move.

- Mate, it's an app.

Privacy's dead, we've all
seen Jeff Bezos' balls.

- I've not seen his balls.

Listen, um, congratulations
on your new colleague.

Jamie told me the exciting news.

- Ah, thanks.

Guess you'll have
to take backseat.

- What?
- In the car.

- Oh, yeah.

- Good job.

I'm proud of you.

- Kat, are these?

- Oh gosh,
you found the photos.

Yeah, crazy story.

I was collecting a load
of old yearbook pics.

The printer screwed up
by printing hundreds

of that one photo.

I've been meaning
to throw them out.

- That is so funny.
- Yes.

So funny.

- Road trip, here we come.

- Hang on.

How come you're not
wearing your scarf anymore?

- Oh, silly me.

I must've left it at home.

? One way, or another,
I'm gonna find ya ?

? I'm gonna get ya, get
ya, get ya, get ya ?

? One way, or another,
I'm gonna win ya ?

? I'm gonna get ya, get
ya, get ya, get ya ?

? One way, or another,
I'm gonna see ya ?

? I'm gonna meet ya, meet
ya, meet ya, meet ya ?

? One day, maybe next week ?

? I'm gonna meet ya, I'm
gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya ?

? I will drive past your house ?

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