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Previously on
"The Big Bang Theory"...
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00:00:01,902 --> 00:00:04,140
Can you believe
our little lamb is
3
00:00:04,232 --> 00:00:05,832
finally getting married?
4
00:00:05,924 --> 00:00:07,688
He can't believe it.
5
00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:10,305
And neither can I.
6
00:00:11,683 --> 00:00:13,524
Hi, Dad.
How you doing?
7
00:00:16,510 --> 00:00:18,554
Then by
the power vested in me...
8
00:00:18,646 --> 00:00:22,274
by
EvenYouCanPerformWeddings.com...
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00:00:23,646 --> 00:00:26,704
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
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00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,727
You may kiss the bride.
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00:00:36,724 --> 00:00:38,470
Good morning, wife.
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00:00:40,612 --> 00:00:42,970
Good morning, husband.
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00:00:43,404 --> 00:00:45,660
I can't believe
we're actually married.
14
00:00:45,752 --> 00:00:47,802
It's official.
According to tradition,
15
00:00:47,894 --> 00:00:49,443
we should hang
the bedsheets outside
16
00:00:49,535 --> 00:00:52,102
so the villagers can see
that we consummated.
17
00:00:53,029 --> 00:00:54,706
I don't think that
that's appropriate,
18
00:00:54,798 --> 00:00:56,865
considering where we're
starting our honeymoon.
19
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,220
Well,
I suppose you're right.
20
00:01:01,872 --> 00:01:03,648
Although,
when you think about it,
21
00:01:03,740 --> 00:01:06,391
Lego is the perfect metaphor
for marital congress.
22
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:10,188
Two pieces that interlock
with a satisfying snap.
23
00:01:11,412 --> 00:01:14,610
Oh, that's the sound
you were making.
24
00:01:14,832 --> 00:01:16,208
Oh, I almost forgot.
25
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,806
While you were sleeping,
26
00:01:17,898 --> 00:01:19,443
I ordered room service.
27
00:01:19,535 --> 00:01:20,818
Really?
28
00:01:20,971 --> 00:01:22,630
Voilà!
29
00:01:24,609 --> 00:01:27,048
You thought it was going
to be food, didn't you?
30
00:01:28,072 --> 00:01:31,687
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
31
00:01:31,779 --> 00:01:35,098
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... ♪
32
00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:36,770
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
Wait!
33
00:01:36,862 --> 00:01:38,315
♪ The autotrophs began to drool ♪
34
00:01:38,407 --> 00:01:39,788
♪ Neanderthals developed tools ♪
35
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,766
- ♪ We built the Wall ♪
- ♪ We built the pyramids ♪
36
00:01:41,858 --> 00:01:44,600
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
37
00:01:44,692 --> 00:01:46,757
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
38
00:01:46,849 --> 00:01:48,446
♪ Bang! ♪
*THE BIG BANG THEORY*
Season 12 Episode 01
39
00:01:48,662 --> 00:01:50,953
*THE BIG BANG THEORY*
Episode Title: "The Conjugal Configuration"
40
00:01:52,451 --> 00:01:55,297
Is it nice having Sheldon and
Amy away on their honeymoon?
41
00:01:55,389 --> 00:01:56,427
Yeah, because now
42
00:01:56,519 --> 00:01:58,292
Leonard and
I get all this alone time.
43
00:01:58,384 --> 00:01:59,893
But you're not alone.
We're here.
44
00:01:59,985 --> 00:02:02,626
Yes.
Yes, you are.
45
00:02:03,662 --> 00:02:04,765
Would you
like us to leave
46
00:02:04,857 --> 00:02:06,097
so you and Leonard
can talk about
47
00:02:06,189 --> 00:02:07,612
all the things
you have in common?
48
00:02:07,704 --> 00:02:09,806
Ha, ha,
she called your bluff.
49
00:02:11,343 --> 00:02:13,093
So, something
pretty cool happened.
50
00:02:13,185 --> 00:02:15,268
Channel 3 asked me to be
on the news tomorrow night
51
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,614
to talk about
the meteor shower.
52
00:02:16,682 --> 00:02:17,702
- Oh, that's great.
- Hey!
53
00:02:17,794 --> 00:02:19,089
- Congratulations.
- You know, that's how
54
00:02:19,157 --> 00:02:20,534
Neil deGrasse Tyson
got his start.
55
00:02:20,626 --> 00:02:22,136
He went from the
Hayden Planetarium
56
00:02:22,228 --> 00:02:23,794
to guesting on
the local news
57
00:02:23,886 --> 00:02:26,688
to ruining everyone's
favorite movies on the Internet.
58
00:02:27,218 --> 00:02:28,633
Now it's happening to me.
59
00:02:28,701 --> 00:02:29,893
Ooh, I should probably
make
60
00:02:29,985 --> 00:02:33,517
a list of all the scientific
inaccuracies in Mamma Mia 2.
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00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,563
You're gonna go on live TV and
admit you've seen that movie?
62
00:02:37,655 --> 00:02:39,699
Hey, your husband's
the one who took me.
63
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,446
Meryl Streep and Cher?
Yeah, I saw it.
64
00:02:47,615 --> 00:02:49,450
Sounds like
someone's in there.
65
00:02:49,595 --> 00:02:52,252
My God, what if Sheldon
and Amy are getting robbed?
66
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:55,095
Or worse, what if
they're back early?
67
00:02:56,204 --> 00:02:57,815
They're not; they
just posted a picture
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00:02:57,907 --> 00:02:59,196
in front of the
Statue of Liberty.
69
00:02:59,288 --> 00:03:01,321
- Real or Lego?
- Lego.
70
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:04,509
So, what should we do?
Should someone go check it out?
71
00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:06,547
I would, but I got to
be on TV tomorrow.
72
00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:08,399
Got to protect the money.
73
00:03:11,068 --> 00:03:12,758
Oh, yeah, someone's
definitely in there.
74
00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:14,461
Okay, let's go into
our apartment.
75
00:03:14,553 --> 00:03:15,985
We'll lock the door,
we'll call the pol...
76
00:03:16,053 --> 00:03:17,767
Hello?! Anyone in there?!
77
00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:21,710
- Yes?
- Oh, uh,
78
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,942
Mr. Fowler, sorry, we didn't
know you were here.
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00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:25,980
We-We actually thought someone
was breaking in.
80
00:03:26,065 --> 00:03:28,462
And we were ready
to take them down.
81
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,645
Amy asked me
to water her plants.
82
00:03:31,737 --> 00:03:33,407
She doesn't have
any plants.
83
00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:34,781
Oh.
84
00:03:34,873 --> 00:03:37,017
Well, you caught me
in a lie.
85
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,110
Have a good day.
86
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,976
That was weird, right?
87
00:03:47,068 --> 00:03:49,780
Was it?
I-I honestly can't tell anymore.
88
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,153
Hey, did you even see
Mamma Mia 1?
89
00:03:52,245 --> 00:03:54,665
Didn't need to.
The sequel stands on its own.
90
00:04:08,357 --> 00:04:09,852
Here you go.
91
00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:13,159
If you need any recommendations
while visiting New York,
92
00:04:13,251 --> 00:04:15,425
please don't hesitate
to contact me.
93
00:04:15,517 --> 00:04:17,290
Well, it is our honeymoon.
94
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,001
So we are going
to be quite busy.
95
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,499
Got it.
96
00:04:20,755 --> 00:04:23,556
Harry Potter play,
parts one and two.
97
00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:25,917
And tomorrow,
a tour of the sites
98
00:04:26,009 --> 00:04:29,438
where Nikola Tesla lived,
worked and slowly went crazy.
99
00:04:30,274 --> 00:04:32,646
And, of course, coitus.
100
00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:35,732
Ah.
101
00:04:36,164 --> 00:04:40,079
Well, enjoy New York.
And, I guess, coitus.
102
00:04:44,357 --> 00:04:45,729
Really, Sheldon?
103
00:04:45,821 --> 00:04:48,216
You want to do it again?
104
00:04:48,638 --> 00:04:50,297
Don't act surprised.
105
00:04:50,389 --> 00:04:52,384
It's clearly marked
on the schedule.
106
00:04:52,622 --> 00:04:54,991
Now, shall we steam
the wrinkles
107
00:04:55,083 --> 00:04:56,323
out of our wizard robes,
108
00:04:56,415 --> 00:04:59,356
or make vigorous,
socially sanctioned love?
109
00:04:59,448 --> 00:05:02,071
Either way, I can check
something off my to-do list.
110
00:05:02,384 --> 00:05:04,218
Socially sanc...
Oh, wow.
111
00:05:04,310 --> 00:05:06,110
Yeah, there it is right there.
112
00:05:09,053 --> 00:05:10,923
Uh, hurry.
Raj is on next.
113
00:05:11,091 --> 00:05:13,559
All right. I can't believe
they canceled Vampire Diaries
114
00:05:13,651 --> 00:05:15,345
but they'll show this.
115
00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:18,782
This is the news.
116
00:05:20,163 --> 00:05:22,850
And that was a woman torn
between two hunky vampires.
117
00:05:22,942 --> 00:05:24,446
What is your point?
118
00:05:25,945 --> 00:05:29,548
Larry? I know you're in there!
119
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:31,370
Is that Amy's mom?
120
00:05:31,462 --> 00:05:32,726
Let me in.
121
00:05:32,818 --> 00:05:35,360
Let me in!
122
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:40,290
Either that or the Big Bad Wolf.
123
00:05:41,766 --> 00:05:43,232
Larry?
124
00:05:43,818 --> 00:05:45,925
Mrs. Fowler,
are you okay?
125
00:05:46,017 --> 00:05:47,239
Oh, I'm okay.
126
00:05:47,331 --> 00:05:48,909
It's my husband
you should worry about.
127
00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:50,083
Oh, we do.
128
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,153
Larry, come on.
129
00:05:53,245 --> 00:05:54,829
I don't think he's in there.
130
00:05:58,068 --> 00:06:00,687
I mean, he came by to water
the imaginary plants,
131
00:06:00,779 --> 00:06:02,157
but then he left.
132
00:06:02,387 --> 00:06:04,005
You are so naive.
133
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:07,587
Blondie here is gonna
chew you up and spit you out.
134
00:06:08,794 --> 00:06:10,477
Well, don't tell him.
135
00:06:11,964 --> 00:06:14,569
Come on, you have an extra key.
Open it up.
136
00:06:15,521 --> 00:06:17,362
All right,
but I'm telling you
137
00:06:17,454 --> 00:06:18,798
he's not in there.
138
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,143
There. See?
139
00:06:23,235 --> 00:06:24,921
Oh, he's in here.
140
00:06:25,013 --> 00:06:27,954
I can smell
his Axe body spray.
141
00:06:28,904 --> 00:06:30,401
He wears Axe body spray.
142
00:06:30,493 --> 00:06:33,157
You happy?
You smell like Amy's dad.
143
00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:37,390
- Larry?
- Ooh, come on.
144
00:06:37,482 --> 00:06:39,698
Ah, shouldn't we mind
our own business?
145
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:42,774
Wow, sometimes it's like
you don't know me at all.
146
00:06:45,068 --> 00:06:46,985
See, he's not here.
147
00:06:47,344 --> 00:06:49,204
You don't know him
like I do.
148
00:06:49,296 --> 00:06:52,227
To be fair, we don't
know either of you.
149
00:06:55,385 --> 00:06:56,818
Satisfied?
150
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,198
Oh, yeah, now I smell him.
151
00:07:07,374 --> 00:07:08,421
Tomorrow will be...
152
00:07:08,513 --> 00:07:10,491
Man, that is one
hot weather girl.
153
00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:12,066
..inches, 82.
And we can...
154
00:07:12,158 --> 00:07:14,565
How come if I say that
I get in trouble?
155
00:07:15,171 --> 00:07:17,339
You want to say it?
You can say it.
156
00:07:23,968 --> 00:07:26,042
- ..be sure... yet.
- Nice try.
157
00:07:26,804 --> 00:07:27,997
You're gonna have to find
some other way
158
00:07:28,089 --> 00:07:30,276
to not have sex
with me tonight.
159
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:32,747
And it's not weather girl,
it's weather woman.
160
00:07:34,119 --> 00:07:35,600
And with us today
to talk about
161
00:07:35,692 --> 00:07:38,424
the upcoming meteor shower and
the best places to view it,
162
00:07:38,516 --> 00:07:43,088
Caltech astrophysicist
Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali.
163
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,926
- Thank you for being here.
- Thank you for having me.
164
00:07:46,018 --> 00:07:48,339
I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson
was unavailable.
165
00:07:49,763 --> 00:07:50,925
Yeah.
166
00:07:53,748 --> 00:07:54,885
What do you mean, "yeah"?
167
00:07:54,953 --> 00:07:55,999
Not important.
168
00:07:56,091 --> 00:07:58,401
So, what can we expect
to see from
169
00:07:58,493 --> 00:07:59,936
this meteor shower?
170
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:03,243
Well, I think you can count
on a lot of flaming gas,
171
00:08:03,335 --> 00:08:04,444
which is what
you would have gotten
172
00:08:04,536 --> 00:08:07,143
from your first choice,
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
173
00:08:07,646 --> 00:08:10,495
Pull up, Raj, pull up!
174
00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:14,529
Sounds like there's no love lost
between you and Dr. Tyson.
175
00:08:14,621 --> 00:08:16,675
Oh, no, I love Neil.
176
00:08:16,968 --> 00:08:19,817
I mean, not as much as Neil
loves Neil, but who does, right?
177
00:08:21,765 --> 00:08:24,596
I want to look away,
but I can't.
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00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:28,364
Oh, you know, I'm told we
are out of time,
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00:08:28,456 --> 00:08:31,338
having learned nothing
about meteor showers
180
00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:34,495
and too much about
Dr. Koothrappali.
181
00:08:34,874 --> 00:08:36,687
Thank you.
182
00:08:42,359 --> 00:08:44,619
Do you know what I love
about Broadway theater?
183
00:08:44,711 --> 00:08:46,495
It's so interactive.
184
00:08:46,685 --> 00:08:48,132
Uh-huh.
185
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:51,269
You're so close to the actors.
It's like you're in the play.
186
00:08:51,361 --> 00:08:52,616
Uh-huh.
187
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,325
I mean, you yell,
"Harry, watch out,"
188
00:08:54,393 --> 00:08:55,987
he looks right at you.
189
00:08:56,098 --> 00:08:58,940
And not just Harry,
everyone onstage.
190
00:08:59,421 --> 00:09:02,901
At the risk of sounding
redundant, uh-huh.
191
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,960
All right, well,
it's a bit late,
192
00:09:05,052 --> 00:09:06,854
but I did block out
the rest of the evening
193
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,487
for conjugal relations.
194
00:09:08,593 --> 00:09:09,978
Should we shower?
195
00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:11,445
I mean before,
not during.
196
00:09:11,537 --> 00:09:13,464
That's how you fall
and break a hip.
197
00:09:13,791 --> 00:09:15,290
You know,
I'm a little jet-laggy.
198
00:09:15,382 --> 00:09:17,143
Maybe we can revisit this
in the morning.
199
00:09:17,235 --> 00:09:19,384
Oh, no can do.
If we miss tonight,
200
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,642
it's not scheduled
until Thursday at 6:00.
201
00:09:21,734 --> 00:09:23,143
And that'll have
to be "no frills,"
202
00:09:23,235 --> 00:09:25,914
'cause we've got a 6:30
reservation at Benihana.
203
00:09:26,741 --> 00:09:29,878
Sheldon, do we really
have to do this on a schedule?
204
00:09:30,421 --> 00:09:32,442
Are you suggesting spontaneity?
205
00:09:32,534 --> 00:09:34,721
I-I guess, yeah.
206
00:09:34,821 --> 00:09:37,944
So, now that we're married,
sex can occur at any time?
207
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,024
Like, we can be
brushing our teeth,
208
00:09:40,116 --> 00:09:41,908
and suddenly your minty-fresh
tongue is in my mouth?
209
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,229
No, thank you.
210
00:09:43,336 --> 00:09:46,198
Really? Would it be so bad
to mix it up a little?
211
00:09:46,359 --> 00:09:49,346
Mix it up?
Who are you, Betty Crocker?
212
00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:50,817
Where are you going?
213
00:09:50,909 --> 00:09:52,325
Uh, to take a shower.
214
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,254
Now that sex can happen
at any time,
215
00:09:54,346 --> 00:09:56,112
I always have to be ready.
216
00:09:56,306 --> 00:09:58,854
Should probably live
under a waterfall.
217
00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,961
Well, you don't have to worry
about sex happening tonight.
218
00:10:01,053 --> 00:10:04,391
Oh. Well, thanks,
but I'm still gonna rinse off.
219
00:10:04,483 --> 00:10:06,675
I touched a lot of stuff
in the gift shop.
220
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:12,826
No message, no note.
Who would do that?
221
00:10:12,918 --> 00:10:14,306
What kind of
husband would...
222
00:10:14,398 --> 00:10:16,541
If you let him talk,
maybe you'll find out.
223
00:10:16,827 --> 00:10:19,547
Fine. Larry?
224
00:10:22,778 --> 00:10:25,401
Well, there you go.
What more can he say?
225
00:10:25,493 --> 00:10:26,671
Let's go home.
226
00:10:28,217 --> 00:10:29,963
I think I'll stay.
227
00:10:30,055 --> 00:10:33,682
Well, if you're going to stay,
then I'll stay.
228
00:10:33,835 --> 00:10:36,371
All right, well, you know
who doesn't need to stay?
229
00:10:36,463 --> 00:10:38,260
Us. Come on.
230
00:10:41,663 --> 00:10:42,948
Penny, come on.
231
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,045
Aw.
232
00:10:48,827 --> 00:10:51,713
I don't think those two
are gonna make it.
233
00:10:56,124 --> 00:10:59,002
Poor Mr. Fowler, I really feel
sorry for the little guy.
234
00:10:59,094 --> 00:11:00,803
I know. After they had Amy,
235
00:11:00,895 --> 00:11:03,760
she should've just eaten him
and been done with it.
236
00:11:05,077 --> 00:11:08,432
Look at you retaining facts
from a nature show.
237
00:11:09,171 --> 00:11:11,400
I know, really,
what did he ever see in her?
238
00:11:11,492 --> 00:11:14,138
He's so, so sweet, and
she's such a ballbuster.
239
00:11:14,230 --> 00:11:16,529
Some guys think
strong women are sexy.
240
00:11:16,621 --> 00:11:18,513
Yeah, but they seem to have
nothing in common.
241
00:11:18,605 --> 00:11:22,510
Yeah, well, sometimes
opposites attract.
242
00:11:24,163 --> 00:11:27,057
Wait, are-are you saying
we are like them?
243
00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:29,432
I don't know, maybe a little.
244
00:11:30,116 --> 00:11:34,719
So you're the sweet, quiet one
and I'm Amy's mom?
245
00:11:34,811 --> 00:11:36,783
Is that what you're saying?
246
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:48,522
Hey, check out what Neil
deGrasse Tyson just tweeted.
247
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,385
"I've been informed
that some random,
248
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:51,815
attention-seeking nobody
249
00:11:51,907 --> 00:11:54,319
took a cheap shot at me
on the local news."
250
00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:58,030
That's me.
Guys, he's talking about me!
251
00:11:58,672 --> 00:12:00,245
You know, I cut you
a lot of slack
252
00:12:00,337 --> 00:12:01,750
'cause you come
from another country,
253
00:12:01,842 --> 00:12:04,561
but you've been here
a long time.
254
00:12:05,682 --> 00:12:08,195
Raj, you need to apologize
to Dr. Tyson.
255
00:12:08,287 --> 00:12:10,256
Why?
This could be good for me.
256
00:12:10,348 --> 00:12:12,737
Everybody loves
a good Twitter feud.
257
00:12:12,829 --> 00:12:13,928
Neil and I
could be like
258
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:16,879
the new, uh, Katy Perry
and Taylor Swift.
259
00:12:16,971 --> 00:12:18,840
Come on, Raj,
you're better than this.
260
00:12:18,932 --> 00:12:20,382
Oh, leave room for dessert
261
00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:22,350
'cause I'm gonna
make you eat those words.
262
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,303
"Dear Dr. Tyson,
263
00:12:26,081 --> 00:12:27,997
"much like epithelial tissue,
264
00:12:28,089 --> 00:12:31,029
it appears I've gotten
under your skin."
265
00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:33,260
iPhone drop,
266
00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,850
but I won't
'cause I don't have AppleCare.
267
00:12:36,933 --> 00:12:39,545
What'd he say?
268
00:12:39,637 --> 00:12:43,835
"Nice try, genius.
The skin is epithelial tissue."
269
00:12:45,001 --> 00:12:46,504
Oh, it's on.
270
00:12:46,596 --> 00:12:49,150
He's Katy, I'm T-Swift.
271
00:12:54,377 --> 00:12:57,061
What are you gonna do?
He's from another country.
272
00:13:00,734 --> 00:13:03,618
And here we have
the former hotel where Tesla
273
00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:06,757
perfected the three-phase
alternating current motor.
274
00:13:06,917 --> 00:13:08,502
That's wrong.
I'm gonna say something.
275
00:13:08,594 --> 00:13:09,900
Don't.
276
00:13:09,993 --> 00:13:12,827
Well, then how will everyone
know I'm the smartest boy here?
277
00:13:13,373 --> 00:13:14,999
Just let it go.
278
00:13:15,487 --> 00:13:16,815
Is everything all right?
279
00:13:16,907 --> 00:13:18,420
You seem testy
this morning.
280
00:13:18,512 --> 00:13:19,749
I'm not testy.
281
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,451
I'll have to take
your word for it.
282
00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:23,514
There's no test for testy.
283
00:13:24,995 --> 00:13:27,397
Is it possible that
you're sexually frustrated?
284
00:13:27,489 --> 00:13:29,467
Okay, now I'm testy.
285
00:13:29,777 --> 00:13:31,823
If you had adhered
to my coital schedule,
286
00:13:31,915 --> 00:13:34,687
your brain would be floating
on a sea of oxytocin right now.
287
00:13:34,779 --> 00:13:37,617
Don't talk to me about my brain.
I'm a neurobiologist.
288
00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:40,209
Then you should know
the benefits of the special hug
289
00:13:40,301 --> 00:13:42,213
that grown-ups
give each other.
290
00:13:44,105 --> 00:13:45,706
Sheldon, everybody's
listening.
291
00:13:45,798 --> 00:13:48,170
Of course they're listening;
we're interesting.
292
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:49,686
Unlike that guy.
293
00:13:50,904 --> 00:13:52,882
I-I'm walking
away from you.
294
00:13:58,769 --> 00:14:00,242
I'm only
recently married.
295
00:14:00,334 --> 00:14:03,397
Do I stay here? Do I follow?
Say something useful.
296
00:14:11,224 --> 00:14:13,342
Morning, sunshine.
297
00:14:16,644 --> 00:14:18,626
So I see you're making espresso.
298
00:14:18,718 --> 00:14:19,718
Yup.
299
00:14:19,819 --> 00:14:21,069
Just need that extra jolt
300
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:24,022
for a successful day
of ballbusting.
301
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:27,655
Really? I don't,
I don't think you do.
302
00:14:28,439 --> 00:14:31,467
You know, you compared us
to the strangest couple we know,
303
00:14:31,559 --> 00:14:32,936
and we know
Amy and Sheldon,
304
00:14:33,028 --> 00:14:36,014
Howard and Bernadette,
Raj and his twitchy little dog.
305
00:14:37,035 --> 00:14:39,135
I-I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.
306
00:14:39,227 --> 00:14:41,397
Because it wasn't nice
or because it wasn't true?
307
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:42,981
It's not true.
308
00:14:43,176 --> 00:14:45,889
Mrs. Fowler is an angry,
vindictive woman,
309
00:14:45,981 --> 00:14:49,624
whereas you are warm
and-and loving,
310
00:14:49,878 --> 00:14:51,428
quick to forgive.
311
00:14:51,628 --> 00:14:52,689
Oh, please.
312
00:14:52,781 --> 00:14:55,581
I-I'm serious.
And I'm nothing like Amy's dad.
313
00:14:55,673 --> 00:14:58,780
He's a mousy little man
who can't stand up for himself.
314
00:15:01,878 --> 00:15:04,569
My point is you're not like her,
so we're not like them.
315
00:15:05,089 --> 00:15:08,118
Well, 30 years from now,
are you gonna hide from me
316
00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:09,482
because I'm so scary?
317
00:15:09,574 --> 00:15:12,678
Hey, I-I don't think
you're scary.
318
00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:16,608
Yes, I flinch when
you make sudden moves, but...
319
00:15:17,029 --> 00:15:20,061
that says more about
my childhood than you.
320
00:15:20,521 --> 00:15:21,706
Aw.
321
00:15:28,508 --> 00:15:29,650
Your turn.
322
00:15:29,742 --> 00:15:31,925
Hang on, I'm checking
to see if Neil replied
323
00:15:32,017 --> 00:15:33,817
to my latest
smackdown.
324
00:15:33,952 --> 00:15:37,099
Really? Don't you think this
Twitter feud is a little silly?
325
00:15:37,191 --> 00:15:38,180
Absolutely not.
326
00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:40,212
It's-it's two
respected scientists
327
00:15:40,304 --> 00:15:42,443
debating opposing views
in a public forum.
328
00:15:42,703 --> 00:15:46,043
You called him
Mike Tyson's little sister.
329
00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:49,910
Yeah, and now Mike Tyson's
mad at me, too.
330
00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:54,875
Raj, you're not going to impress
anyone by attacking him.
331
00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:58,481
Oh, Bernadette,
you sound so old right now.
332
00:16:02,393 --> 00:16:06,135
He said he needs a break,
and I'm too much for him.
333
00:16:06,227 --> 00:16:08,277
Oh. I'm sure he
didn't mean that.
334
00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:10,902
He said I'm overbearing!
335
00:16:12,079 --> 00:16:15,231
Oh, please, you're just
the right amount of bearing.
336
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,102
Look, I know he loves you.
337
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:21,067
If you just give him some space,
I'm sure he'll come back.
338
00:16:21,159 --> 00:16:22,590
You really think so?
339
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,340
Yeah, I do.
340
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,832
You're a good person,
Penny.
341
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:31,893
I hope we get to spend
lots of time together.
342
00:16:34,768 --> 00:16:36,516
Me, too.
343
00:16:39,571 --> 00:16:41,832
- Yes?
- Hit the road.
344
00:16:42,915 --> 00:16:44,474
- But...
- Now!
345
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,174
Can I get my stuff?
346
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:48,031
Be quick about it!
347
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,059
- Hello.
- Hello.
348
00:16:57,197 --> 00:16:59,332
I brought you two hot dogs.
349
00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:01,340
A-Aren't you
gonna eat one?
350
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:04,042
From a street cart?
Are you crazy?
351
00:17:04,134 --> 00:17:06,449
I'm amazed that
I'm holding them.
352
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:08,832
I'm not really hungry.
353
00:17:09,383 --> 00:17:13,707
You realize that I'm not
a particularly physical person.
354
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,523
- I know.
- When I was little,
355
00:17:16,615 --> 00:17:18,871
and people asked me what
I wanted to be when I grew up,
356
00:17:18,963 --> 00:17:22,176
I'd always say,
"A brain in a jar."
357
00:17:22,858 --> 00:17:24,082
Sure.
358
00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:26,394
Yeah, but I want to be
a good husband to you,
359
00:17:26,486 --> 00:17:29,215
and intimacy
is a part of that.
360
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:32,488
Please put those down.
361
00:17:33,329 --> 00:17:35,346
I'm just worried
that if I don't schedule
362
00:17:35,438 --> 00:17:38,152
our bedroom endeavors,
then I may not think about them,
363
00:17:38,244 --> 00:17:40,484
and you'll grow
cold and distant
364
00:17:40,576 --> 00:17:44,817
and seek solace in the arms of
a heavily-muscled longshoreman.
365
00:17:45,610 --> 00:17:47,808
Where would I find
a longshoreman?
366
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,152
Along the shore.
It's in the name.
367
00:17:52,896 --> 00:17:56,973
Sheldon, I could never be
with anybody but you.
368
00:17:57,274 --> 00:17:58,619
That's good to know.
369
00:17:58,711 --> 00:17:59,886
I wouldn't want
to fight a man
370
00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:02,410
who's brave enough
to touch a fish.
371
00:18:04,828 --> 00:18:07,301
How's this for
a compromise?
372
00:18:07,536 --> 00:18:11,900
Make all the schedules you want,
just don't tell me about them.
373
00:18:11,992 --> 00:18:13,177
Excellent.
374
00:18:13,269 --> 00:18:15,345
I'll create an algorithm
that'll generate
375
00:18:15,437 --> 00:18:16,766
a pseudo-random schedule.
376
00:18:16,858 --> 00:18:17,999
Yeah, and do you know why
377
00:18:18,091 --> 00:18:19,994
it won't be a true
random schedule?
378
00:18:20,592 --> 00:18:22,939
Because the generation
of true random numbers
379
00:18:23,031 --> 00:18:25,533
remains an unsolved problem
in computer science.
380
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:26,713
Come with me.
381
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:28,315
- Where are we going?
- To the hotel room.
382
00:18:28,383 --> 00:18:29,751
And when we get there,
I'm gonna need you
383
00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:31,960
to say that again, except naked.
384
00:18:46,615 --> 00:18:48,404
Go for Dr. K.
385
00:18:49,399 --> 00:18:51,126
NEIL deGRASSE TYSON:
Is this Rajesh Koothrappali?
386
00:18:51,218 --> 00:18:52,460
Yes. Who is this?
387
00:18:52,552 --> 00:18:54,748
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
388
00:18:57,110 --> 00:18:58,591
Uh, w-wow.
389
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:02,279
How fun is this
Twitter thing, huh?
390
00:19:03,103 --> 00:19:04,556
You think you're funny?
391
00:19:04,648 --> 00:19:07,652
I'm-I'm not Seinfeld funny, but
I did an open mic night once.
392
00:19:07,744 --> 00:19:09,521
You're not funny.
393
00:19:09,742 --> 00:19:12,357
Yeah, that's what they said
at the Chuckle Hut.
394
00:19:12,829 --> 00:19:14,198
How about this:
395
00:19:14,290 --> 00:19:17,189
I've got a book signing at
Vroman's in Pasadena next week.
396
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,527
Why don't you come by and say
some of those things to my face.
397
00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:22,204
Oh, no,
398
00:19:22,272 --> 00:19:24,262
but thanks for the invite.
399
00:19:25,558 --> 00:19:27,999
Smart move, and the next time
you pick up your phone,
400
00:19:28,091 --> 00:19:32,793
remember, I'm the guy who kicked
Pluto out of the solar system.
401
00:19:32,885 --> 00:19:34,669
And it deserved it, sir.
402
00:19:34,761 --> 00:19:36,568
Thank you. Bye-bye.
403
00:19:37,371 --> 00:19:40,013
Well, that was fun.
404
00:19:41,166 --> 00:19:44,505
Let's see who else needs
a deGrasse kickin'.
405
00:19:48,495 --> 00:19:50,966
Bill Nye the Science Guy.
406
00:19:51,752 --> 00:19:55,145
Hey, Bill, Neil Tyson.
We've got to talk.
30510
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