All language subtitles for Escape to the Chateau DIY S01E17.720p.CBC.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-BTN.English

♪ ♪

This is me, Dick Strawbridge, my
wife Angel, and our two children

in our glorious French chateau.

We haven't ever regretted what
we've done.

It is so worth it.

♪ ♪

Dick: We moved here three years
ago to follow our dream of

living life in our very own
castle.

Angel [laughing]: Oh my God!

Dick: But it's not been easy--

I think I'm a bit too old for
this.

♪ ♪

Dick:--as dozens of other Brits
know only too well.

- [snap]
- Oops.

The floor needs replacing as
well.

[laughing]

Dick: Because it turns out,
we're not the only expats who

have bought a French chateau.

Wow!

Absolutely love it!

25-year-old Bordeaux.

Motherlode!

Dick: In this series, we'll
reveal how we're running our

chateau as a business--

There's not a thing about making
sausages that I don't find

humorous.

I'm still finding things that I
haven't seen.

Dick:--and see how these daring
Brits are running theirs.

Billy: Lovely to meet you.

Dick: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

This place is done up!

Dick: As they face the
ups--

He's stunning.

This is a rare moment, but I am
genuinely at peace.

Dick:--and downs--

It's a lot worse than it looks.

Dick:--of their new lives in
these crumbling and magnificent

buildings.

It is a bit of a fancy, living
in a French chateau.

We might have a few problems on
the way but that's part of life,

isn't it?

- [laughter]
- Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today:

Angel: Hello!

[laughter]

Dick: Angel welcomes a fellow
chateau owner to our home--

- Muah.
- Muah.

Dick:--and bestows her with
advice and gifts.

There you go.

You have been knighted.

[laughter]

- Can I come again, please?
- Yes.

Dick: Preparations for a summer
party are thrown into chaos.

The phone's already going with
people asking us if we've

cancelled.

Dick: A castle's cellar's
ancient secret is revealed.

A bone.

Man: Oh yeah, a finger
bone, yeah

Dick: A bumper booking causes
problems.

Today, we've got 14 people
coming in to have 28 fried eggs.

Dick: And there's a big surprise
for two chateau owners.

Nicole: Oh, look!

[bleating]

Nicole: It sounds just like a
baby.

[bleating]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Chateau d'Humières is a
crumbling 18th century castle

being restored by British
designer Nicole--

There's bits that still need to
be filled and then sanded down,

actually.

Dick:--and her Belgian architect
boyfriend, Stephan.

We took on the castle because it
was a great challenge.

You could call it an adventure,
yeah?

Nicole: We're lucky.

Hectic, but lucky.

♪ ♪

Dick: Stephan inherited the
chateau--

--located in the Pas-de-Calais
region north of France,

from his mother.

I owned the castle, the chateau
for a few years before I met

Nicole.

This is after the--I think after
the death of my mother.

And 2015, we really started.

You came here for the first
time.

That's when things properly kind
of kicked off,

and decided that we'd get
involved and do this together.

Dick: They want to turn this
place into a B&B.

We will be renting out parts of
the chateau for people

to stay in.

Stephan: Holiday rentals.

Dick: But they need to generate
income to renovate it,

so are planning to open a tea
room in four weeks time.

It needs to stop draining money.

Yeah.

Stephan: It needs to be
self-financing.

That's our new adventure:

How to make this self-financing.

It's just off the main road and
what--how many people did you

say go in, roughly?

It's about 2,800 cars passing
through this village 500 metres

further a day.

♪ ♪

Dick: They were planning to lay
a resin floor but discovered

there was no concrete layer
under the current floor on which

to lay it.

It's not even, really, as if we
can say this will be phase two

of the tea room, because that's
the main entrance.

Dick: Now a revised quote has
come in, including the cost of

adding a solid concrete base.

We've just had this email come
through, which is like,

"Oh gosh, is it really
that expensive?"

10 grand is too much.

So we won't have epoxy
flooring.

That's the verdict.

It's come out of budget.

The resin floor's now out.

Dick: The flooring is only one
of the jobs to get the

100-square-metre hall ready on
schedule.

We've got wallpaper planned for
here.

We're going to be doing painting
still in here.

We've still got to get the
lintel on the fireplace.

There's lots to do.

Stephan: Finish the windows,
finish the walls,

finish the ceiling.

So we have four weeks to turn
everything over, and to put the

flooring in here.

So we need to find a different
solution.

And come up with one very
quickly if we want to get it

done in time.

We also have to decide whether
we're going to dig this floor up

and--

We can't.

No, and put underfloor heating
on.

No, it's impossible.

Taking it out will take us a
week.

Pouring in the concrete.

I mean, four days, three days--

[Stephan exhales]

--and then having it dry in two
weeks time is impossible.

So it could be that actually
what we opt for now maybe--

Yeah.

--is we just paint it
temporarily.

Stephan: Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: They've got some serious
thinking to do.

What can you do?

You know, you're in the middle
of something.

What do you do?

Bail out halfway through that?

You can't.

You have to see it through.

Dick: So while they ponder, they
tackle another job:

♪ ♪

Dick: Cleaning the façade of the
chateau.

It's the first thing that
visitors will see,

so it has to look great.

[motor humming]

Nicole: We'll clean up the
gutter wells while we're

up here.

Oh.

- Scared of heights?
- No.

No?

- Really not?
- No.

- I am slightly nervous.
- Nicole: Are you?

I am okay with this, because I
have to.

Yeah, we reached it.

Okay, so we're going to sand
the stone so we get back this

nice white--

- I like this though.
- I know.

I really like that.

Stephan: I'm so sorry it has to
go, it has to go.

Wait, wait.

It's really lovely there.

- It has to go.
- Why?

Come on, it's not nice.

You have this nice white stone
and then you just--

[Stephan laughs]

It's really beautiful.

- Oh my goodness.
- Look at the colour of it.

You should like it; it's orange.

- Ah.
- It's really lovely.

When are we getting--are we
going to replace that soon?

No, it looks nice with that
across.

Nicole: No, It doesn't.

Stephan: Of course, we'll
leave it.

No, it does.

Nicole: It's got plastic there.

Just leave it, because I mean,
if you like this, you just leave

it like that also there.

- Come on.
- [Stephan laughs]

- It's not funny.
- Love you.

But you do not see this from
below.

- Yes, you do.
- You don't.

Below, you only see a yellow
stain.

Nicole: All right, maybe.
Stephan: You think, "Hmm."

- Okay, okay.
- Stephan: A little bit.

Dick: Nicole relents on the
stonework's orange smudge,

but wins on replacing the
plastic window.

So when's the plan to replace
the glass in here?

As soon as possible, but I never
had a chance to measure it.

Should we measure it now?

Let's measure it straightaway.

It's a good idea.

It's called a circle.

40 high.

My goodness, whoa.

Have to replaces this piece of
it also.

Okay, let's go down; you ready?

Everything's good?

- Yeah?
- [squealing]

Dick: With the window to
replace, and stonework to sand

down, the work to do here is
just mounting up.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Just under 80 miles
northwest, at the rather more

complete Chateau des Lys, the
rental season is in full swing.

Tim and Margreeth have owned the
B&B for four years

after spotting it on holiday.

Tim: I thought it was the nicest
place I'd ever seen.

It was unconditional.

I just fell in love with it.

We loved it and we decided on
the spot to buy it,

and I think we signed
two days later.

Dick: Brit Tim retired as bass
guitar from the successful Dutch

band he'd been in for 26 years--

--and they moved to their new
home here in the Picardie region

of France.

♪ ♪

Tim: When you've done all that,
once you've had the glory of the

whole rock 'n' roll bit, what
you're left with is, actually,

the nicest thing is meeting
people.

With the chateau, we get great
people in here.

We get some lovely, lovely
guests.

Dick: They're busy during the
summer months,

but they still aren't bringing
in enough cash.

The chateau is--you know,
costs money.

Of course it does.

Not just the cost of doing it
up, but just the monthly costs.

Tim: There's quite a lot of
maintenance to be done.

Dick: So their plans are to
develop an upmarket

caravan site.

Last weekend, if we'd have had
these things in place,

we would have earned
another 1,000 euros.

Dick: And lease out their gîtes
to increase their income.

Basically, it's costing them
25,000 euros which is a one-off

payment and that gives--for 25
years, that gives you five

weeks.

Dick: Meanwhile, the usual B&B
business at the chateau needs to

continue and it takes up most of
their time.

And right now, they're preparing
for 30 guests who will be

staying over the Easter weekend.

Tim: We take Easter very
seriously for a bunch of

atheists.

Lots of people coming in.

It's a full chateau and these
are the last minute preps before

people turn up.

When it's Easter, you want to,
you know, make it festive.

♪ ♪

Everything nice and light
colours.

Just do a few things for our
guests.

Dick: They've roped in daughter
Donna who's visiting from

Holland to help with the
decorations.

It's quite an Eastery flower
arrangement.

Very Eastery colours.

Dick: And 9-year-old little
brother Joe's sort of helping

out too.

Donna: You think I should put
them in?

Okay, I'll put them in.

Thank you, Joe, for your help.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Before the guests arrive,
Tim's checking on a bee problem.

It's been two weeks since he
tried to get rid of a hive in

one of the gîte's chimneys.

Tim: I must admit, it still
gives me the willies,

climbing up this ladder.

Dick: The hive was deep in the
chimney and impossible to move,

so Tim had no choice but to
destroy it.

Tim: In fact I'm climbing up
here without any protection,

as far as, you know, beekeeping
gear goes, so it does mean that

I'm fairly confident that
they're not going to be alive

so--

Dick: Tim blocked the entrance
to the hive and is now checking

if the bees have gone.

♪ ♪

Tim: And the first thing I see
is two bees.

Score one for the bees.

They're all going in a hole.

They've made themselves a new
hole.

And the hive is still there.

It's still functioning.

And the only worry is they're
going to spot me and then

they're going to decide that I
was the guy who ravaged their

whole existence last time, and
therefore they're going to

attack me.

But you have to admire them.

It's completely brilliant.

Not as active as it was though.

It's less--definitely a lot less
bees than there used to be.

I just need to get some more
gunk and do it again, basically.

Dick: He has to fix the problem.

Otherwise, they won't be able to
lease the gîte through their new

co-ownership scheme.

And to be honest, all I can
realistically do

is keep gunking.

If I don't get rid of them, I
don't know what's going to

happen.

I mean, I'm going to get rid of
them.

I mean, it's--failure is not
an option.

Things happen; if you're not
practical and you don't see a

solution straightaway, it will
be really difficult to keep this

place going.

♪ ♪

Dick: As if on cue, another
problem comes up that they could

do without on Easter weekend.

Tim: The dishwasher's blown up.

It's shorting.

Everyone knows these--if you
work in the hospitality

industry; you fill up your thing
there, shove it on there,

close that.

Push the button and in my case:
"Pop."

The whole chateau shuts down,
which is my problem at the

moment.

So just to prove that, I'm going
to switch it on,

and switch on there.

[laughs]

That was the sound of everything
shutting down in the

whole chateau.

So I'm just going to put that
back again and have a look

at it.

♪ ♪

[click]

♪ ♪

Judging by the way that keeps
cutting out, I reckon some sort

of short somewhere, but I'm not
sure whether I'm good enough to

find it.

Dick: And if he doesn't, that
means a weekend of washing up by

hand for Tim with a house full
of guests.

[chattering]

♪ ♪

Dick: Back at Chateau
d'Humières:

♪ ♪

Dick: Stephan is halfway through
the mammoth task of sanding

the castle's 200-square
metre façade.

The stone is so soft, a little
bit like the Cliffs of Dover,

so it just comes out very clean,
very clear, and very white.

It's pure chalk.

Like if you would take a piece
of it, you would be able to draw

on the blackboard.

But you do get a lot of
satisfaction out of these

buildings.

Of course, once they get
neglected for 40 or for 50 years

like this one, then catching up
means putting in a lot and a lot

and a lot of effort.

♪ ♪

Dick: While Stephan continues
his sanding marathon,

Nicole wants to find out more
about her wallpaper.

And knows just the person to
ask:

My wife Angel.

Angel: Nicole sent me a picture
of her wallpaper,

and it's lovely.

She didn't know anything about
it, and I sent it to a historian

who's come back only yesterday
with some information,

and Nicole knows nothing about
it.

So I'm really, really excited to
show her.

♪ ♪

Dick: Angel's inviting Nicole to
our house to share her findings.

Wow, look at this.

It's like driving into a fairy
story, literally.

I feel like I'm going to be
Rapunzel in the tower today.

Dying to see the inside.

♪ ♪

Dick: With a shared passion for
chateaux,

Nicole and Angel should get on
like a house on fire.

♪ ♪

Nicole: I love the symmetry,
actually.

It's lovely, it's really lovely.

♪ ♪

Dick: This is the 1,000-year-old
medieval fort,

Chateau de Brametourte.

♪ ♪

Dick: Owners Paul Hunter and
Alison Ward run parts of it

as a B&B.

They're renovating the rest in
between working away as IT and

HR consultants.

But they're desperate to run the
chateau full-time so they can

give up their jobs.

If we've got that running
enough, we can just spend the

summers doing the weddings and
then enjoying the house.

And as we get older in life,
that would be an absolute bliss

to not have to keep packing bags
and getting on planes.

Dick: Located within sight of
the Pyrenees, in the Languedoc

region of France, they've spent
the last seven weeks here,

building a wedding terrace and
outside kitchen

around their pool.

The first wedding of the year is
the week after next,

so we're working on trying to
solve a few problems in the

outdoor kitchen.

Dick: Tonight, they're holding a
party to celebrate the kitchen's

grand opening.

Paul Hunter: We've got about 60
people we're expecting.

And I got a list as long as your
arm of things I've got to try

and finish.

And put the electricity in here.

Get the plumbing finished.

Got the roof on.

Tidy up the marquee, put some
lighting up.

Cross our fingers and hopefully
we'll have a nice day for it.

Dick: Fortunately, they've got
help from family and friends

from the U.K.

I come from a family of 12, so
I've got nine brothers and

sisters.

They're all having children as
well,

and now there's 60 of them.

Dick: Last night, Alison's
eldest sister Deborah tested out

their newly completed
honeymoon suite.

- Hi, Deb!
- Hi Alison.

How was the night?

Deborah: The bed is the most
beautiful, comfortable, oldest,

most expensive bed I've ever
slept in.

[laughter]

Deborah: But yes, so the
bathroom's fantastic.

I love the bathroom.

The shower is magnificent.

Do you remember the first
shower?

Alison: Yes.

Deborah: You had to climb up on
bricks, didn't you?

Alison: Yeah.

A wobble--[laughing]--in the
shower with the hosepipe.

- That's it.
- [laughter]

Dick: Deborah's been sharing the
room with some small,

feathered friends.

The amazing thing about this
chateau is that there was birds

nesting.

So we put a little door in each
of the nest holes with a

glass frontage.

Deborah: How amazing to have
peregrine chicks in your wall.

[Deborah laughs]

Dick: Back on the terrace,
Paul's roped in

Alison's brother, Dominic--

- [Paul mumbles]
- You get the wire.

Dick:--for some last-minute
electrical work.

You're all just thinking how
sexy I look in my pajamas.

[laughter]

- Are you concentrating?
- Yes, I am; yes, I am.

[laughter]

Three, right.

I'm just going to turn the
electricity on.

Let's check my work.

Okay.

Dick: Meanwhile, in the new
outdoor kitchen,

Alison's taking charge.

Keep all the glasses up here.

But in different types, maybe
wine and champagne,

and that sort of thing.

I know I'm the eldest, but she's
the bossiest.

[laughs]

And there's a load of champagne
glasses over where the microwave

is in the kitchen.

How's it going with the--

- Paul: One more.
- Alison Ward: Oh, well done.

Good job.

Dick: With everyone pitching in,
the party prep is coming

together nicely.

Woman: Do you think we've got
the worst job here?

Dick: But just when everything's
going well--

[thunder]

Dick--the heavens open.

♪ ♪

The phone's already going with
people asking us if we've

cancelled, and we've just
stopped answering it.

Dick: They can only hope the
rain will stop to avoid a total

washout.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Nearly 600 miles north,
Chateau des Lys is fully booked

for the weekend.

♪ ♪

[laughter]

Dick: But owner Tim still hasn't
been able to find the fault in

the dishwasher which keeps
shorting the electrics.

It's beyond me.

I can't do it.

Dick: So time to call a
professional.

♪ ♪

Dick: And after working on it
for 1.2 seconds--

Ah, yes.

[speaking in French]

♪ ♪

Paul: Okay?

Dick: The electrician's cracked
it.

Formidable.

Okay, so he's saying that
there's a metal plate which is

basically joining the earth to
the negative and that's causing

it to trip.

And that's how easy it is.

Unless you're an idiot.

So we're going to switch it back
on again and see if it works.

Ça va marcher?

[whirring]

[Paul laughs]

Brilliant!

Ha, okay.

I feel really stupid, you know.

- Merci, Monsieur.
- De rien.

Thank you.

- Au revoir.
- Au revoir.

♪ ♪

Dick: Now they can concentrate
on the Easter Sunday

celebrations.

Alison: Okay, well done.

Dick: But come the big day, it's
not long before Tim's having

another kitchen nightmare.

Tim: 22 bits of bacon we need,
is that right?

Margreeth: Yes.

Dick: And is overcome by a huge
breakfast order.

Tim: Panicking.

[clattering]

♪ ♪

Dick: This is our place:
Chateau-de-la-Motte Husson,

based in the Pays de la Loire.

Today Nicole, a fellow chateau
owner, has come here to visit my

wife, Angel, and find out about
the origins of the wallpaper

she discovered in her chateau.

- Hello!
- Angel, hi.

Lovely to meet you.

You're gorgeous.

- Muah.
- Muah.

Dick: First though, a little
tour.

Do you want to come in, have a
drink, have a look around?

Thank you so much, that would be
great.

I'm dying to.

So this is our humble abode.

- After you, madame.
- Nicole: Thank you.

- Gorgeous entrance.
- Angel: Thank you, thank you.

Yeah, it's still a work in
progress.

Nicole: Lovely hallway.

Angel: Come on, let's go and see
the salon.

I mean, this is--this is the
salon.

This is our original plans.

Nicole: How lovely that you've
got that, yeah.

This is my favourite.

Like, you know, the original
little drawing of it,

and the detail.

I mean, it looks beautiful,
isn't it?

Nicole: It looks like it's on
tissue paper.

Yeah, it's on tracing paper, so
it would be on the paper that

they would have used so, um,
it's like a parchment paper.

And when we were given these,
well, me and Dick, we were

just--we were blown away 'cause
it's such a special thing

to have, isn't it?

Dick: Not long ago, we were
where Nicole and her partner,

Stephan, are now with their
chateau renovations.

Now in here, it's just--it's
really, really playful.

Nicole: It's like a little mini
theatre, in a way, isn't it?

[Angel laughs]

Angel: Yeah.

So we've got 47 rooms.

And they all need attention.

Right.

I have to kind of manage my
frustrations of wanting

everything done continuously,

though I'm sure you're in the
same boat right now, aren't you?

It's like a living thing, isn't
it?

Angel: Yeah.

You're constantly looking to
fill the gaps.

Angel: Yeah.

Dick: Right, now to business.

Angel: You know you sent me a
picture of your beautiful

wallpaper.

Mm hmm.

Angel: I've got something to
show you.

- Nicole: Okay.
- Angel: So come with me.

Dick: When we moved in here,
Angel found rolls of old

wallpaper in our attic.

Angel: Through here--

Dick: And she used them to turn
one of the turret rooms into her

very own wallpaper museum.

♪ ♪

Angel [laughing]: This was my
labour of love.

I think it is so beautiful.

- Thank you, yeah.
- Really, it looks amazing.

I come in here and I always
smile.

I mean, I just--I love
wallpaper, but take a seat.

Let's relax.

Can I have a little snooze?

Angel [laughing]: I could have a
little snooze right now.

This room, every single
wallpaper here--

Nicole: Fantastic.

--has been used in the
history of the house.

I mean, this is how we found it.

Oh, I see.

I mean, it's just so well
preserved.

You can see these have been
hand-painted.

Nicole: The colours are so
vivid, aren't they?

[Angel laughs]

Nicole: It's like really bright
and vivid.

That's the back hallway one.

Nicole: Isn't that a brilliant
combination?

Oh, they're just great, yeah.

- Nicole: And that?
- The two greens.

- Nicole: Oh my God.
- Angel: Yes.

So what I'm really interested in
is, like, when you did this,

did you plan out what you were
going to put next to what?

No.

Nicole: You just couldn't do it.

You just couldn't.

Actually, what ended up
happening is, as long as there

wasn't too much repetition, just
everything went everywhere,

and it worked.

Nicole: It worked.

Dick: Nicole brings out a sample
of the wallpaper from her

chateau.

She emailed Angel a photo of it
a few days ago.

Angel: Wow, that's gorgeous.

I've got wallpaper envy.

[laughing]

In my pride and joy.

It's so beautiful, and orange
and teal, I mean they so work,

don't they?

It's very special.

Angel: That is absolutely
stunning.

Now I've got a bit of a surprise
for you,

because I sent the picture you
sent me to a historian.

Nicole: Great.

And he got back to me yesterday
with a little bit of

information.

Ta-da!

Behind the pillow.

"Dear Angel:

Looking closely at the design
from the photo,

it looks like an extremely
high-quality printing,

and well worth conserving.

This was applied just prior to
Revolution by the doyen of

wallpaper makers at the
Jean-Baptiste Réveillon Paris

factory.

He surpassed all the other
French makers at the time by

employing the finest designers
and using his own paper mill to

supply the best material and use
the latest methods."

To know that it's come from
these kind of roots is really

exciting.

It's about finding these little
nuggets in the house and then

putting your mark on it.

Dick: Angel's got another
surprise.

So this is a stencil taken from
the wallpaper.

Thank you, that's so brilliant!

Angel [laughing]: Do you like
it?

Nicole: Yes, I mean, I love it!

Hand it over.

- Nicole: Thank you so much.
- And you down there.

There you go.

- You have been knighted.
- Nicole: Aw.

- Can I come again, please?
-Yes.

[Angel chuckles]

Dick: Nicole can use this to
replicate the original design on

the old wallpaper and print it
on the walls in the tea room.

Nicole: Brilliant.

This is so cool!

I think she likes it.

[Angel laughs]

♪ ♪

Dick: It's Easter Sunday at
Chateau des Lys,

and owners Tim and Margreeth
are hard at work.

Okay, I think we've got about
230 eggs or something.

Dick: Whilst Margreeth hides
Easter goodies in the 14-acre

gardens for the kids to hunt
after breakfast--

I have to be very quiet here
'cause this is where kids are

sleeping.

Dick:--Tim is in the kitchen
cooking it.

[clattering]

Last ones.

Easter Bunny is done for this
year.

And that's it.

Gonna get ready for breakfast.

♪ ♪

Dick: Margreeth joins Tim in the
kitchen.

They usually offer a continental
breakfast, but keen cook Tim

will rustle up his famous Full
English on request.

♪ ♪

Tim: We get a lot of requests
for English breakfast, actually.

Which is kind of annoying,
because it's quite difficult

to make.

One of the nice things of having
a bed and breakfast.

Today we've got 14 people coming
in to have 28 fried eggs.

That's--what is it, 32 rations
of bacon?

These are hash browns, yes.

But taking it's very seriously,
it's grated potato,

and the secret is to stick them
in the pan and leave them alone.

[sizzling]

♪ ♪

Dick: And Tim also loves
offering a taste of home:

Hot cross buns.

Not that Margreeth seems
impressed by them.

I think they're a bit boring, to
be honest.

I think there's loads of great
stuff coming from the U.K.

Hot cross buns, maybe not one of
them.

Dick: Cover your ears, Tim.

♪ ♪

Tim: 22 bits of bacon we need,
is that right?

Margreeth: Yeah.

- Have you counted them?
- Tim: No.

I'll just keep--I'll just keep
going.

I think when everyone turns up,
it will be okay and I'll chuck

a few more in.

♪ ♪

Dick: As the guests start to
trickle into the dining room,

things are heating up in the
kitchen.

♪ ♪

Margreeth: So you need five
English breakfasts.

Tim: Yeah.

That's one child, isn't it?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Dick: And it all gets a bit much
for Tim.

Tim: Panicking.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[rain falling]

Dick: At the opposite end of the
country, way down south by the

Pyrenees, rain has stopped party
preparation dead

at Chateau de Brametourte.

I think that's it now.

[laughs]

I don't think there's a--got a
chance of that blowing over.

Dick: So Alison's turned her
attention to another project.

So we're looking at the cellars
underneath the kitchen.

We want to turn these into a
really beautiful wine cellar.

Dick: But 400 years ago, this
space had a darker purpose.

Alison: But going through to the
end is the oubliette,

where prisoners used to be
thrown to be forgotten about.

But also, we're told that
further down here,

there's actually an entrance to
an old escape tunnel that goes

under the land to the chateau in
the neighbouring valley.

Dick: Alison wants to find out
if the tunnel legend is true.

Alison: So that would be quite
interesting to excavate.

♪ ♪

Dick: So she sent her friends,
Ian and Graham, down to see if

they can drain away a buildup
of water that is accrued in

front of what they believe could
be the tunnel entrance.

Man 1: Found a bone.

- Man 2: Is it?
- Man 1: Yeah.

A chicken bone or something
like that?

Man 2: A finger bone.

Man 1: Oh yeah, or a finger
bone, yeah.

That was the last prisoner.

[men laughing]

[chatter]

That could be the top of the
doorway.

Alison: My God.

It's really deep so it could be
a tunnel.

God!

- That goes a long way in.
- Man 1: That's it.

Alison: And that--is that where
you feel the end of it,

or does it go further?

Man 1: No, goes further than
that.

Alison: That must be the tunnel
then.

It could be a tunnel!

Dick: Maybe, but whilst the
digging continues to confirm

it--

Let's go.

Dick:--upstairs in the honeymoon
suite, the rain has caused

another problem for Alison.

I'm coming around.

Dick: One of the birds nesting
in the wall has got trapped.

Deborah: There's a nest fallen
down the side, maybe.

Alison: Yeah, when that storm
blew up, it's pushed the door

out and the birds have come out
through it.

They're laying there.

Deborah: We should put the birds
back in then.

Alison: I know, that's why--

I got one.

Come on, good girl.

Come on.

That's it.

[Alison coughs]

So much for nature.

♪ ♪

Dick: And there's more good news
outside:

The rain's have finally let up,
so Alison's family are back out

doing the final prep for the
party.

Woman: Going to bring in a
domestic now,

over the bunting and the
writing.

Too scared to put it up
anywhere.

Put one piece across the wood,
and put the other two inside.

Alison didn't want it inside, to
be honest.

I think she wanted it all along
the top, and all along the top

of there.

On top of there, outside, it's
going.

- Man: Yeah.
- I made a decision.

But if Alison comes along and
says she doesn't like it

up there, then Ian made the
decision.

[laughter]

Dick: They've now got just two
hours to get the kitchen up and

running, and 60 hungry guests
expected.

We can't cancel, so we're just
going to push on and get as much

done as we can.

It's taking a long time just to
wire these fridges in.

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau d'Humières:

Owner Stephan has just four
weeks to transform this--

♪ ♪

Dick:--into a fully decorated,
refurbished and functioning

tea room.

He's finished sanding down the
outside of the chateau,

and now he's repairing the
window that will sit above

the entrance.

Just tidying it up a little bit
here.

More than 200 years old, so it
will never be a new window,

but it doesn't have to be a new
window.

It can keep the charm of just
being old.

I think it's ready to put up.

Okay, here we go.

♪ ♪

Okay, Franz, if you can hand me
the glass and then standing

somewhere over here.

Yeah.

Super.

Make sure it fits in here right,
so try putting it like this.

♪ ♪

Okay.

Yeah.

Done.

Great, great.

That's another job done, eh?

It's coming from derelict
window without any glass,

and now having a good window.

Perfect, eh?

♪ ♪

Dick: That's one job done, but
still hundreds to do.

Over at our chateau,

his partner Nicole is picking my
wife Angel's brains for advice

on how to run a tea room.

We're not entirely sure exactly
how we're going to do it.

Dick: While they chat, Angel is
showing her a recipe for a

summer drink they could sell.

This smells amazing.

Do they?

- They're amazing.
- They do.

Dick: A cordial with black
current, fresh from our

chateau's garden.

And you can just imagine these
on your--kind of your tarts in

your tea room as well.

Having run a tea room of her
own, Angel knows exactly what it

takes to get Nicole's business
off the ground.

♪ ♪

Have you thought about what an
average cover cost would be?

- Nope.
- Okay.

I guess this is the time when
you need to have your plan,

your vision, because everything
you're doing will be tailored to

what the final outcome is.

Yeah.

You know, if you're doing a tea
room that's open to the public,

you're going to design the room
for that.

The only thing is, if you end up
working and investing to create

something and then you missed
the season--

Yeah, you want a return, mm hmm.

Dick: Nicole's tea room business
is focused on making money

during the summer months.

You know what, you're still in
the mindset of just summer

passing trade.

I don't think that's your
market.

You don't want to be the
destination place where

Mr. and Mrs. Smith turn up and
spend 20 quid.

Dick: Instead, Angel wants
Nicole to think much bigger,

and think of a year-round
business.

- Events, special occasions--
- Nicole: Yeah.

- They happen all year round.
- Sure.

You know what I mean?

You want to be a destination
place--

Sure.

--that someone's paying a grand
and you have 20 covers

a month and bring 20 grand in.

Dick: Staging events can turn a
chateau from a money pit into a

pot of gold.

Angel: Watch the splatter.

Every time you have a customer,
they need to pay for something

in the chateau to be renovated,
okay?

Right, absolutely.

If you think about it like
that--

Dick: Back to the cordial.

And after cooling, it's ready
for tasting.

Service.

[laughter]

Angel: I just get a kick out
of saying that.

On its way, ma'am.

[laughter]

Dick says it to me all the time.

Oh, wow.

Now, you will not pour that
elegantly without getting it

everywhere.

- And that's what I thought.
- Angel: Yeah.

Fab colour.

Angel: It's gorgeous, isn't it?

Cheers.

Dick: Angel has one more piece
of advice for Nicole

to help her keep track
of her finances.

I've got one more little thing
to give you.

And it's on a serious note.

[giggling]

Because, whatever you do, you've
got to make money out of it.

So I want you to have a think.

Now these three here are your
costs.

You should have a third, which
will be your direct cost,

a third which will be your
labour and even if you do it,

you need to pay yourself, okay?

And then there should be a third
what would be a profit,

and that'll go in your pocket.

You can now buy a dress or a
sink.

Right.

It's always going to be a sink,
isn't it?

- Angel: I know.
- [laughter]

Thanks.

- It's yours.
- Cheers.

We have to stick together, us
mad chateau owners.

[laughter]

- Nicole: Thank you.
- Angel: You're welcome.

Best of luck with everything.

Thank you so much.

- Stay in touch.
- It's been a superb day.

And, you know, travel safe.

♪ ♪

Angel: Nicole's just great.

A little bit bonkers.

I just wish her all the best,
you know.

She's working her socks off.

Good luck to her and Stephan.

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau des Lys, Tim
and Margreeth are reaching

boiling point of making
breakfast.

Tim: Can you get me a few
of the little blue plates?

♪ ♪

Dick: 14 Full Englishes plus
warm hot cross buns are giving

Tim a breakfast breakdown.

How are your hot cross buns
coming on?

Tim: They are almost ready.

Margreeth: Okay, you do that.

- I'm just gonna do this first.
- Margreeth: That's fine.

Otherwise, I'm doing three
things at once.

'Cause things will go wrong.

See, I've just realized I
forgot to put the mushrooms on.

So...

Margreeth: I think I see
other people coming down now.

Tim: Okay.

[children chatting]

♪ ♪

[sizzling]

♪ ♪

So these ones are all ready to
go, yeah?

Tim: Yeah, with the mushrooms,
they can go.

Dick: Tim's managing to keep the
wheels on,

and get the breakfasts out.

I've got four more to do and
then I'm--ah!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Tim: The last egg!

Yeah!

Look at that, breakfast is done.

Yes!

It's a good feeling, actually;
ha!

What time is it?

I don't know, so, that's about
an hour, hour-and-a-half

for breakfast isn't it, I
guess--14, was it?

14 breakfasts.

Great.

- Hot cross buns.
- Hot cross buns, yeah.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: The hard part of the
breakfast over, Margreeth hands

out the homemade Easter bunnies
to the guests' children.

Margreeth: Do you still believe
in the Easter Bunny?

Child: Yeah.

You can choose one for yourself
to take home with you.

That one, okay.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

Dick: But what children really
want at Easter is chocolate.

♪ ♪

[Margreeth speaking French]

♪ ♪

[children yelling]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Margreeth: Cheers!

Chin chin.

Happy Easter.

♪ ♪

[laughter]

Dick: It's been a great weekend
and Tim and Margreeth are in

their element.

♪ There's a house on the hill

♪ You just come and do what
you feel ♪

One of the best things about
chateau life is just the

unexpected number of nice people
that you meet.

♪ So come on up ♪

For me, the best thing is that
every day is different.

♪ ♪

There's never a dull moment and
I think that I really, really,

really like that.

[cheering]

Dick: Enjoy it while you can,
Tim and Margreeth,

because you still have a lot to
do to get your gîtes

and that caravan park
up and running.

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de Brametourte,
it may have stopped raining,

but the water around what they
thought is the tunnel entrance

refuses to drain away.

Man: There's no water pipes that
go around there.

It looks like we're not going to
be able to find the tunnel.

It's looks like the water
tank level is just too high now.

Man: So the mystery continues.

♪ ♪

Dick: Paul and Alison's search
for the elusive tunnel has come

to an abrupt end.

♪ ♪

With it flooding anyway, it's
probably not a good idea to

try and excavate it any further.

We won't do too much more stuff
down here just 'cause it's so

wet and humid.

Dick: With cash tight, locating
the legendary tunnels will have

to wait until next year.

For now, there's the outside
kitchen to finish.

Eh!

We have water!

Let's check and see it's not
coming out of the bottom.

- Let's double check.
- [laughter]

Oh [bleep]

- Paul: How stupid is that?
- Man: Tighten it up.

That's it.

Dick: It's done and just in the
nick of time,

as the guests start arriving for
the grand opening of

Paul and Alison's wedding
terrace.

It's good to test it out
tonight, because we've got the

wedding party next month using
it for the first time.

So this is a bit of a check to
see if everything operates.

Yeah, check everything works
properly.

Opening the kitchen officially
and--

Woman: Woo!

I'm going to cut the ribbon.

Okay, thank you.

[cheering]

♪ ♪

Got the kitchen working.

The kitchen is amazing!

I'm so pleased to finally have
something out here that our

guests can go and enjoy and
relax and have family

and friends.

♪ ♪

Dick: So the new wedding terrace
is a hit.

Let's hope it's a hit with the
wedding guests that arrive here

for the first wedding of the
season in just five weeks' time.

I'm looking forward to seeing
how that goes.

It's just a shame everyone's in
the kitchen.

- It's like any party, right?
- [Alison laughs]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: It's a glorious day at
Chateau d'Humières,

and the exterior of the castle
isn't looking too bad either.

[Nicole and Stephan chatting]

Dick: Stephan's finished
renovating the façade,

and got Nicole's seal of
approval.

Also Nicole, I did--cleaned
around the window,

and put in the glass.

It looks brilliant.

Now we have to clean the second
floor a little bit more,

and some more jointing on the
second floor.

[exhales]

A few more shutters to be
painted.

The moss has come off and it
looks much better without it.

Yeah, big difference now, eh?

It looks really--it's really
good.

Stephan: Yeah, it just looks
cleaner.

♪ ♪

Dick: Having signed off the
outside, Nicole wants to get on

with the work on the tea room
interior.

Starting with testing Angel's
stencil of her wallpaper design.

If I can get it off.

Forget that.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

See, I've gone over the edge.

♪ ♪

That would need repainting
anyway.

Wow.

Nicole: It's just an experiment.

Oh, hi, Stephan.

- [laughs]
- Stephan: Wow.

Well, you know, this is like
work in progress, so I think--

It's great.

You know, the end result, we
don't want to be seeing this

outline square.

It's quite nice, isn't it?

It's lovely.

- So it works out at seven.
- Stephan: Mm hmm.

- Oh, yes.
- All the way up.

And then that brings the design
through into this room as well.

Stephan: Without using the
colours--

Without using the colours,
exactly.

Actually, it's come out quite
nicely, but I'd like to try to

see what pastels--'cause I think
pastels might give more of an

effect of what the original
wallpaper is like.

I don't know.

But do you like it?

It's amazing.

- Cute.
- Cute.

- It's not cute.
- It's amazing.

♪ ♪

Dick: Stephan's on board with
the stencilling.

But Nicole also needs to sell
him on Angel's advice

to take the tea room
plans up a notch.

The thing is about running a tea
or coffee bar here--

Stephan: Mm hmm?

--the costs that are involved--

Yeah.

First of all, we don't know how
much traffic we're going to get.

Stephan: Okay.

'Cause the chances are we'll be
raking in peanuts that won't

really even cover our costs.

The bottom line is: If we just
do a tea room,

it's not a good idea.

The big message is: Maybe think
bigger.

- Use the room for other events.
- Yeah?

It could be courses, it could be
conferences.

I think she's right.

It's just finding the right
usage of the space, eh?

Dick: So Stephan seems to like
the idea of thinking bigger,

but they don't quite know what
type of business to go for yet.

Either way, they'll need to find
a solution for the tricky floor

problem.

You'd say, like, a tea room
here?

Nicole: We haven't decided
anything about the floor,

actually.

Stephan: We need to go for a
cheap solution first.

It's a lot of stress getting it
done in time, of course.

[bleating]

♪ ♪

Dick: But before they get any
closer to a decision,

they're needed elsewhere.

[bleating]

Dick: Nicole and Stephan keep
three goats at the chateau.

One of them is heavily pregnant.

Or was, by the sound of things.

Nicole: Oh look!

- Stephan: Amazing.
- Nicole: Amazing.

[bleating]

Nicole [gasping]: Oh, it sounds
just like a baby.

Two goats being born.

It's amazing.

All of a sudden, we hear this
little "bah" sound.

And we're--Stephan charged off
down here, 'cause we know that

one of the goats is pregnant and
due kind of any minute.

Stephan: Really must have come
out of the womb like

five minutes ago.

I think this one is a ram, but
I'm not sure.

Sounds great, huh?

[bleating]

Nicole: Amazing.

He's standing up now.

Stephan: They're really best
with their mama.

I'm just really glad we were
here to witness this.

I can feel its little heart
beat.

That's real life, isn't it?

And okay, renovating a chateau's
real life too,

but sometimes you get caught up
in the minutiae of the detail,

and the costings, and the stress
of it,

and then you have something like
that that happens,

and takes you right out of it,
which is really nice.

Oh.

[bleating]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Next time:

For Nicole and Stephan, the
stress of getting their chateau

ready for an opening party
starts to take its toll.

Stephan's been working day and
night.

Slightly worried about him
actually, 'cause he's been

working so hard.

Dick: To the point of becoming
dangerous.

He lost four kilos in the last
two weeks.

Four kilos is quite a lot.

Dick: Tim's caravan renovation
starts to take a step backwards.

Little bit of wood to be cut out
and sort of put in again, but--

- [crack]
- Tim: Whoops.

And the floor.

[laughing]

The floor needs replacing as
well.

[laughing]

Dick: There are prenuptial
jitters at Paul and Alison's

chateau.

They started all sitting down.

Not that I'm panicked or
anything now.

- Oh my goodness.
- Oh, yeah.

Dick: At another chateau, a
mother and daughter disagree on

how to put on an event.

I would never have done a party
like this, personally.

Absolutely not.

♪ ♪

It's funny.

I think you complicate your
life.

A radish is a radish.

You serve the blooming radish.

It's great having my mother
here.

But stress levels have risen
because she's never happy

with what I'm doing.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪