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♪ ♪
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[birds chirping]
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That's me:
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Dick Strawbridge, my darling
wife Angel, and our two
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beautiful children.
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Angel: Potato!
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Dick: Nearly three years ago, we
up sticks for a whole new life
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in France and bought this
magnificent chateau.
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- Oh [laughing]!
- [child screams]
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Dick: We've been doing it up
ever since.
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Oh baby, we--oh, you're so
strong.
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Dick: Turns out we're not the
only ones.
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Angelina: Oh, yeah, yeah.
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- [glass shatters]
- Woman: Oops.
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Dick: Dozens of Brits are taking
the plunge to rescue these
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stunning buildings.
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- [crash]
- Man: Oh!
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Woman: What amazing colours.
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Jonathan: We need to get on top
of it.
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Get on top of the goats.
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Dick: In this series, we'll
reveal more on how we're running
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our chateau as a business--
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Oh, ta-da, back on dry land!
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I'm still finding things that I
haven't seen.
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Dick:--and we'll help these
daring families run theirs--
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Angel: Muah, muah.
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Here's to the meeting of two
like-minded couples.
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- Man: Yes, cheers.
- Angel: Cheers.
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Dick:--as they face the highs--
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- It's really beautiful.
- Dick:--and lows--
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[engine dies]
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It's extremely expensive.
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It's financial suicide.
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Dick:--of running these gorgeous
buildings as everything from
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B&Bs to beautiful wedding
venues.
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Tanya: Owning a chateau isn't
glamorous.
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[man gags]
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Tanya: Anyone who thinks it is
is delusional.
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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Dick: Today:
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The perils of repairing a
six-storey chateau.
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I'm not too afraid of heights,
but this is a bit extreme.
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♪ ♪
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Dick: Plumbing problems at this
12th century abbey.
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Ooh.
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Do you see anything?
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Clive: Yes, well, come down and
have a look.
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No thanks [chuckles].
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Dick: How running a chateau with
loved ones is never plain
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sailing.
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John, John, we employ him to
look after this pool.
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- John: Yeah.
- Marion: Is it out now?
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He hasn't done it for four
years!
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♪ ♪
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Dick: And Angel and I carry out
valuable research into our new
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wine list.
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We could get so pickled this
afternoon.
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[Angel giggles]
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[Angel slurps]
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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Dick: Londoner Billy and his
French fiancée Gwendoline are
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still in their 20s.
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But with the help of Billy's
older brother Michael,
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they're working hard to turn the
22-bedroom Chateau de la
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Basmaignée into a luxury wedding
venue, as well as a beautiful
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family home.
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♪ ♪
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It is a bit fancy, yeah.
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Living in a French chateau has
always been a bit of a dream.
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Together, I think we can make it
work.
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Gwendoline: Yeah, definitely.
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Yeah.
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And we might have a few problems
on the way, but that's part of
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life, isn't it [laughs]?
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Yeah.
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♪ ♪
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Dick: Their chateau is in the
Pays de la Loire in northwestern
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France.
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They live in the guesthouse but
need to move out in just three
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weeks so they can rent it to
paying guests.
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♪ ♪
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Dick: That means making the
chateau habitable.
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But the wood burner is causing
them a bit of a problem.
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♪ ♪
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Well?
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It's not supposed to be coming
out the sides, is it?
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Well, that's what I was
thinking.
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[everyone chuckles]
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Michael: I wonder why it's doing
that.
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Billy: I think the--the cement
between the blocks; I think it
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needs repointing--
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Oh yeah, it needs repointing
probably.
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--because there's smoke pouring
out of the holes through the
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sides and between the stone.
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- Gwendoline: Yeah.
- Michael: Hmm.
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So it shouldn't be doing that.
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♪ ♪
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Dick: They suspect the brickwork
needs repointing, a pretty
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straightforward repair job if
you're at ground level.
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♪ ♪
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It looks like the--the house is
on fire, rather than the
chimney.
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[chuckles]
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♪ ♪
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Dick: Unless they repair the
chimney, they won't be able to
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use the wood burner.
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So someone's going to have to go
all the way up there and fix it.
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It's probably about 20 meters,
something like that, so it's
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quite high up.
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When you're up there, you're
like, "Ooh," [chuckles].
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♪ ♪
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[birds chirping]
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♪ ♪
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Dick: Billy's gamely volunteered
to take on the job.
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Fortunately, he's got just the
piece of kit for it.
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♪ ♪
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We bought a cheery picker.
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It goes about 22 metres.
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It's not a new machine; it's
quite old.
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And hopefully we have no
problems, and we don't fall off
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the thing.
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Dick: But they haven't so much
as switched it on since buying
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it several weeks ago.
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All right, so how do we get this
thing going?
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Billy: Um, this is the main
switch to turn it on.
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Michael: Yeah.
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Billy: And this is the ignition.
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Michael: Did it start?
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Billy: It's supposed to start.
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Do you want to jump up on top of
the thing and make sure the red
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switch--look, 'cause look,
basically it's like that
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sometimes.
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You have to twist it so it's up
like that.
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Michael: And there's one over on
that--
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There's one on that, so jump up
on top of it and just check it.
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Michael: Right, OK.
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- It's not working!
- Billy: Yeah, uh...
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Michael: Did you know it worked
when you bought it?
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No, it worked when we bought it,
but--
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[beeping]
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[beeping]
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Billy: This--
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Michael: That doesn't sound
right.
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It means--I don't know what it
means.
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We'll have to look in the
manual, I think.
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Dick: If Billy can't get up to
fix the chimney, there might be
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some cold nights ahead for them
all.
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[beeping]
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♪ ♪
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[birds chirp and squawk]
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Dick: It's no small task trying
to heat a chateau.
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Especially where we live in
northwestern France.
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Winters here can be
bone-chilling, often dipping to
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minus 10.
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[bird squawks]
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Dick: It gets so cold sometimes
even our moat freezes over.
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It's not exactly warm in here.
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It will be soon.
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In the beginning, it was a
constant battle to heat our
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home.
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♪ ♪
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We could not heat this house in
a way that would make my mom and
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dad happy--[chuckles]--so our
life from January and February
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revolved around heating this
house.
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Dick would get up 5:00 a.m.
in the morning, turn the heating
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on to heat this room so the kids
would wake up not freezing.
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Then he'd run downstairs and get
the heating on for the dining
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room so we would have breakfast
in the heat [chuckles].
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And he kind of went around, back
again, and up.
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So the whole house was on/off to
make sure that we had only heat
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in one room for that time,
because you can imagine trying
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to heat the whole house would
have been mental and a lot of
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money.
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Not sustainable.
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♪ ♪
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Dick: Heating all our rooms
continuously could cost over
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£500 a week.
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Sometimes a chateau really can
feel like a money pit.
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♪ ♪
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Dick: 100 miles south at Chateau
de Bois Giraud, Marion and her
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husband John had just splashed
out nearly £500 on having
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hundreds of flies removed.
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♪ ♪
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Dick: Marion from Oxfordshire
runs this place as a luxurious
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holiday gîte with her two
sisters Tanya and Katherine.
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Tanya: I wouldn't say it's
profitable, but it covers its
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costs which is what we need it
to do.
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Dick: Nestled in the Loire
Valley and set in 20 acres of
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rural parkland, this gorgeous
19th century chateau has 9
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bedrooms, 11 bathrooms, a
swimming pool, and even a gym.
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My children really adore going
there, and it is great for
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family get-togethers.
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We really enjoy it, and that's
kind of where we get our
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satisfaction and pleasure, from
that side, you know, from the
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family point of view.
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♪ ♪
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[birds chirping]
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Every year, the sisters make the
trip over from the U.K. to get
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it ready for another holiday
season.
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[bell ringing]
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♪ ♪
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[Tanya laughs]
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Dick: This morning, big sister
Tanya and her family arrived.
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Today, an engineer has come to
fix the lift.
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00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,621
Tanya: Bonjour!
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My French isn't good, but--
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My French is worse [laughs].
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Dick: Fortunately, their
managing agent Isabel is on hand
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to translate.
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♪ ♪
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OK, so could you ask him if
there is still the same problem
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that there was last time with
the lift?
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00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:30,509
Uh...the problem unit last time,
is it still--
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- In French.
- Oh, en français.
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00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,845
[laughter]
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I remember he said there was a
click, click sound, which Tanya
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00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:38,917
and I, we're not worried about.
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00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,456
Marion: But--but we think it's
fine, but just to check.
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00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:49,127
Marion: Mm hmm.
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00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:51,963
I hope it's OK.
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00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:57,702
And so just to confirm, today he
is going to put alarms,
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loud ones, on each floor.
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- Oui.
- Oui.
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- Perfect, merci beaucoup.
- Man: OK.
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00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,275
- [laughter]
- Brilliant English.
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00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:05,076
- Thank you.
- [laughter]
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Dick: Whilst the engineer gets
to work...
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00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:09,648
♪ ♪
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Dick: Marion and Tanya realize
they don't have any means to pay
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00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:13,952
him for the job.
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00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:15,954
We're off to the bank.
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- We need to go now.
- Yeah, we're late.
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00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,390
- We will be late.
- [laughs] So let's go.
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00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:20,492
Marion: So we have to go--OK.
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00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,429
Dick: But before they can leave,
Marion's husband John wants to
237
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,031
talk about the issue with the
roof.
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00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:29,701
The ledge or the--it's
dangerous, very dangerous.
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00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:30,569
Marion: All right, John.
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00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:34,839
I don't need him to start
messing about and interfering.
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I just don't need that.
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00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:38,610
Dick: And there's something else
Marion doesn't want her husband
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00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:39,611
to interfere with.
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At the moment, we're waiting for
the pool man to come and open it
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00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:48,286
up, and John's had a little look
and would quite like to do it
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00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:49,087
himself.
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00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,292
But I've asked him not to
because there are occasions when
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00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,962
he starts interfering, and then
he creates more problems.
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00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:57,796
Then it's just--
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00:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,130
♪ ♪
251
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,398
- OK, thank you.
- Woman: Thank you.
252
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,600
Oh, very good.
253
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:03,501
- Marion: That was great.
- Tanya: Yeah.
254
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,838
Dick: But when Marion gets back
from the bank an hour later,
255
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:07,939
she finds John couldn't help
himself.
256
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:10,141
He's decided to tackle the pool.
257
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:14,445
John, we employ him to look
after this pool.
258
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:15,513
John: Yeah.
259
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:20,118
The fact of the matter is, is
that I always a bit cautious of
260
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:23,054
where he stands in the whole
pool maintenance--
261
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,289
John, this is his pool.
262
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,491
It's not your pool.
263
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:27,291
Is it out now?
264
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,259
He hasn't done it for four
years.
265
00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:30,028
He doesn't do anything, though,
does he?
266
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,929
That's the problem.
267
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:32,997
Look at the state of the pool.
268
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,232
The whole pool is leaking.
269
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,001
- The pool--
- Marion: It's not leaking!
270
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:36,801
John: It is leaking!
271
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:37,702
Marion: It's there so if
water...
272
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,438
♪ ♪
273
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,441
Dick: I hope John and Marion can
settle their differences as
274
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:44,409
there's still a lot more to do
here.
275
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,312
♪ ♪
276
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,214
- Marion: John--
- John: Yes?
277
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,283
Tanya: Please, could you look at
the downstairs loo seat and tell
278
00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:53,318
us if it needs a new one?
279
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,552
Marion: Under the stairs, just
there.
280
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,054
♪ ♪
281
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,792
♪ ♪
282
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,028
[birds chirping]
283
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,231
Dick: As any Brit who started a
new life in France knows,
284
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,634
one of the many pleasures
of living here is having
285
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:10,869
world-famous vineyards
at your doorstep.
286
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,837
♪ ♪
287
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,306
- Dick: Bonjour, monsieur!
- Patrick: Bonjour, monsieur.
288
00:11:15,374 --> 00:11:17,008
- Je m'appelle Dick.
- Et je m'appelle Angel.
289
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:18,543
Enchanté.
290
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,278
♪ ♪
291
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,647
Dick: But for Angel and I,
tasting wine isn't just about
292
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,115
buying new additions for our own
cellar.
293
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:29,187
We're having a private session
here to find wines, local wines.
294
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:30,321
Angel: Mm.
295
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,724
♪ ♪
296
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,893
Dick: Local sommelier Patrick is
helping us put together a new
297
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,362
wine list for our wedding
season.
298
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,199
We want to be able to have
people come to the chateau for
299
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,134
the first time, drink the wine
and go, "Wow!"
300
00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:47,138
♪ ♪
301
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,808
Dick: But as ever when running a
chateau, it's a balance between
302
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,677
tasting good and not burning too
big a hole in your pocket.
303
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,613
♪ ♪
304
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,357
Dick: With more than 4,000
vineyards in the Loire Valley
305
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,559
alone, the choices are a little
overwhelming.
306
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:09,561
Um...
307
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:13,164
And to complicate matters
further, the wines on our list
308
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,799
need to complement all different
varieties of food.
309
00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:18,169
Angel: No.
310
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:18,970
No, no, no.
311
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:20,505
[Patrick speaking in French]
312
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,275
Angel: We need a bon,
bon vin--what's good--
313
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,244
We just need good wine that can
go with everything.
314
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:28,346
♪ ♪
315
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:31,716
Dick: Oui.
316
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:34,486
Dick: Yeah.
317
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:36,755
♪ ♪
318
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:43,695
Dick: Scallops.
319
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:48,266
The best wines carry the
prestigious AOC certificate
320
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,734
guaranteeing their origin and
quality.
321
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:51,803
[Patrick speaking in French]
322
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:53,304
Dick: OK.
323
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:56,274
Should we like get some--
324
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,076
Yes, I think we have to.
325
00:12:58,144 --> 00:12:59,277
--and then--and try them?
326
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:00,345
[snorts]
327
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,013
We could get so pickled this
afternoon.
328
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:02,747
[Angel giggles]
329
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,516
♪ ♪
330
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,351
Dick: OK.
331
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,318
[Patrick slurping wine]
332
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:12,824
[Dick speaking in French]
333
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,726
[Patrick slurping]
334
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:17,695
I just can't do that.
335
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:19,197
You actually--no, you have to.
336
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,498
It let's the air into your
mouth.
337
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:21,800
[Patrick chuckles]
338
00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,168
Dick: Go--[slurps].
339
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:24,468
Suck the earth out.
340
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:25,103
You have to.
341
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:26,604
[slurps]
342
00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:29,774
I've got a brace at the back of
my teeth.
343
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,375
You know that I can't--I just
can't do it.
344
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:32,443
Dick: Of course you--you can do
it.
345
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,077
Hon!
346
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,113
♪ ♪
347
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,248
[Patrick laughs]
348
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:38,516
[Angel slurping]
349
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,885
Angel: Not really into wine that
much.
350
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,888
I understand the theory behind
it, I just don't love it the
351
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,156
same way that Dick does.
352
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:52,530
The wine is totally part of the
package, and I'm as equally
353
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:56,467
passionate at getting the right
thing as Dick, but I'm not
354
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:57,836
comfortable with it at all
[chuckles].
355
00:13:58,838 --> 00:13:59,337
[slurps]
356
00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:01,139
I just--I can't do it.
357
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,107
I can't do it.
358
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,008
Oh, maybe.
359
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:06,477
Maybe I'll practise in private,
in front of the mirror.
360
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,279
[slurps]
361
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:10,548
♪ ♪
362
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:12,850
Dick: With Patrick's help, we've
definitely saved a few pennies
363
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:14,118
on our wine list today.
364
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,889
And been persuaded into buying a
few extra bottles to carry on
365
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,390
our research at home.
366
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,192
Taste this, have a nap.
367
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:22,594
[Angel sighs]
368
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,330
Angel: Look after the kids, give
mom and dad a break [chuckles]?
369
00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:26,764
Dick: No, leave the kids to your
mom and dad, taste this, have a
370
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:27,565
nap.
371
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,399
Angel: [chuckling] No.
372
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:29,167
♪ ♪
373
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:34,105
♪ ♪
374
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:38,042
Dick: 350 miles east of here on
the other side of the country is
375
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,477
another world-famous wine
region:
376
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:41,346
Burgundy.
377
00:14:41,615 --> 00:14:43,147
♪ ♪
378
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,550
Dick: Here, a 12th century abbey
has been lovingly restored by
379
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,654
English couple Clive and Tanith
Cummings, and turned into an
380
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:50,755
upmarket hotel.
381
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,991
♪ ♪
382
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,293
Tanith: We love being over in
France.
383
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,095
It's so peaceful, and it's so
tranquil, and it's just--
384
00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:01,832
Clive: We've got some very good
friends locally who we socialize
385
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,001
with.
386
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,570
We're part and parcel of the
local community.
387
00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,673
♪ ♪
388
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:13,144
Dick: As well as 20 rooms, this
former place of worship boasts a
389
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:14,612
Michelin-starred restaurant.
390
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:16,848
[man speaking in French]
391
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,250
Dick: But they're still not yet
making a profit.
392
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,120
♪ ♪
393
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:24,022
We are still a young business.
394
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,256
We have a very healthy bank
loan.
395
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,059
It's a fair amount of money that
goes out each month.
396
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:32,297
Our electricity's normally
anywhere between 3,000 and 5,000
397
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:32,964
a month.
398
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,500
I'd love to be a profitable
organization, but at the moment,
399
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:37,502
we're not.
400
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:43,007
I don't make any money, and so
that's what gets you sometimes.
401
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:47,244
You work so hard and you get to
the end of the year, and you're
402
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:47,812
like--[bleep].
403
00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:50,048
You know, there's nothing left.
404
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:50,949
You know, we spent it all.
405
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:52,317
♪ ♪
406
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,386
Dick: To keep costs down, Clive
and Tanith do as many jobs
407
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,554
around the abbey as they can.
408
00:15:58,958 --> 00:15:59,991
We can work in most departments,
apart from the kitchen.
409
00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:02,593
I do avoid the kitchen as much
as possible, as far as helping
410
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:03,594
out.
411
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,262
- But any other department--
- Clive: Yeah.
412
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:07,498
--either of us will go in and
help where is necessary.
413
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,835
So it's very hands-on, but we've
always been very hands-on.
414
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:13,371
♪ ♪
415
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:15,740
Dick: Today, Clive is going to
have to be a bit more hands-on
416
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,975
than usual.
417
00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:20,578
He's got a pond that's
suffocating from an invasion of
418
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,780
algae, and his fountain has
stopped working.
419
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,283
♪ ♪
420
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,019
It's normally a crystal-clear
pond, fresh water that flows
421
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:29,754
through, and you can see the
fish beautifully.
422
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:32,890
And as you can see, it's a bit
of an eyesore now.
423
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,962
Dick: Too much algae can suck
out the oxygen from the pond
424
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,531
which could be devastating for
the 12 koi carp Clive keeps.
425
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,767
♪ ♪
426
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:44,669
It's a job that I want to get
done pretty quick.
427
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,771
There won't be fish today;
that's the problem.
428
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,540
♪ ♪
429
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,610
Dick: Once he's satisfied he's
got enough algae out, Clive can
430
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:53,811
move on to the next problem.
431
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,280
♪ ♪
432
00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,217
Dick: His fountain's broken, and
he needs to fit a pump, but to
433
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:03,254
do that, he needs to lower the
water level by three inches.
434
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:08,726
The plug for the pond is at the
bottom which is about waist
435
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:12,396
deep, and I've gotta get in
there and pull the plug out to
436
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:13,398
let the water out.
437
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,768
I don't know how far I can lean
under, so I don't know whether
438
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:20,772
I'm gonna have to put me
shoulders in and go for a swim.
439
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:22,440
Not a very nice day for
swimming.
440
00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:23,441
It looks pretty cold in there as
well.
441
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,310
♪ ♪
442
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,979
Dick: But Clive's got a big pair
of waders, so this should be a
443
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,381
fairly simple job.
444
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:35,953
It's normally about a metre
deep, and it just comes up
445
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:39,356
literally to about a centimetre
of my waders, but I've just got
446
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,691
a sneaky feeling I'm gonna get
wet socks.
447
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,794
♪ ♪
448
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:44,328
Dick: In you get, Clive.
449
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:46,864
[air bubbling]
450
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,332
You can hear it.
451
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:48,599
♪ ♪
452
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:52,736
That's a 12th century plug
[laughs].
453
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:53,905
♪ ♪
454
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,808
Dick: But removing it doesn't
appear to have made the
455
00:17:57,811 --> 00:17:58,876
slightest bit of difference.
456
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:01,479
It's not draining away.
457
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,115
It's--the water's coming back up
the aqueduct here.
458
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:08,286
It's not moving at the moment.
459
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:10,221
♪ ♪
460
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,257
Dick: As far as I'm concerned,
getting your hands dirty is all
461
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,659
part and parcel of running a
chateau, especially if it saves
462
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:16,761
you a few quid.
463
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,432
♪ ♪
464
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,502
Dick: For me, there's nothing
more satisfying than solving a
465
00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:26,170
problem without spending any
money at all.
466
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:29,140
♪ ♪
467
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:34,245
Dick: And finding old things
like this lying around is a
468
00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:37,315
godsend for small DIY jobs, like
building a chicken coop.
469
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,818
This old ladder, I wouldn't walk
up it, but the chickens will
470
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:41,486
roost on it.
471
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,353
Watch.
472
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:43,787
You see what we have there?
473
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:44,789
Angel: Oh, I see, right.
474
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:47,191
When they--when they come time
to roost, there's enough space
475
00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:48,459
for them to spread out.
476
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:52,430
This is one of the doors in one
of the stables.
477
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:54,966
It feels like it's made of
hardwood.
478
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,668
♪ ♪
479
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,837
Dick: And what could be better
than upcycling a stable door to
480
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:01,606
keep the hens in and Mr. Fox
out?
481
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:07,845
What I'm doing is making a
little area here so that when we
482
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:10,314
open this door and come in, the
chickens don't go all straight
483
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,749
out the door.
484
00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:15,920
Which is quite important because
12 acres is quite a lot of space
485
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:16,821
to lose them.
486
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:18,823
♪ ♪
487
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,892
Dick: But if you're really savvy
with your renovation, you can
488
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,527
even make a few bob too.
489
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:24,595
How you getting on?
490
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,731
[water dripping]
491
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,866
Dick: We've had to remove 50
metres of old lead piping that
492
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:31,469
was used for the chateau's
original 19th century plumbing
493
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:32,937
system.
494
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,039
If this is all lead, it can all
go.
495
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,175
♪ ♪
496
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:40,411
Dick: Most homes had lead water
pipes until the 1970s,
497
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:41,946
when it was discovered just how
dangerous they could be to
498
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:42,747
the water supply.
499
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:44,815
[water dripping]
500
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,918
Dick: They've been banned in
France for more than 20 years,
501
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,320
so I'm not sorry to see this lot
go.
502
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,923
♪ ♪
503
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:53,891
As far as we're concerned, this
is the last vestiges of the old
504
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:54,625
system?
505
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,359
Of the old system, yeah.
506
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,393
It's going.
507
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,662
Man: So all the lead disappears.
508
00:19:58,897 --> 00:20:01,565
Dick: And there's probably
enough lead in here to pay for
509
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:02,533
about three copper pipes
[laughs].
510
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,002
♪ ♪
511
00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:07,338
Dick: There's no way this stuff
is going to be skipped.
512
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:10,775
A kilo of lead piping can fetch
up to £2 when it's sold to
513
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:11,976
scrap.
514
00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:14,779
And we've removed hundreds of
kilos from our place.
515
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,415
♪ ♪
516
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:19,450
Quite a lot of scrap here; it's
worth money.
517
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:20,718
Might be able to pay you this
time.
518
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:21,986
- Man: Ooh!
- [Dick laughs]
519
00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:26,691
♪ ♪
520
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,526
Dick: Back at Chateau de la
Basmaignée, in the Pays de la
521
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:32,696
Loire, Billy and Michael are
trying to save money by doing
522
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:35,900
all the restoration work
themselves, even those jobs that
523
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,435
require a serious head for
heights.
524
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,337
♪ ♪
525
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,072
Dick: But at the moment, they
can't even get their cherry
526
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:43,507
picker up and running.
527
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:46,711
Billy paid 6,000 for it
second-hand.
528
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,213
Luckily, it came with an
instruction manual.
529
00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:51,415
Oh, there it is.
530
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,753
Let's have a look at it.
531
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,659
Right, it's all in French
[chuckles].
532
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:03,861
- Do you read French?
- A little bit.
533
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,130
[speaking in French]
534
00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:08,065
I don't know what that word is.
535
00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:10,201
Michael: Should we get
Gwendoline to help us?
536
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,535
Billy: Uh...I think we'll
manage.
537
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:14,405
We'll try--you won't learn if
you keep asking Gwendoline.
538
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:17,008
♪ ♪
539
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:19,844
Dick: If you asked me, the
battery's flat, as the cherry
540
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,045
picker's been sitting idle.
541
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,748
But Billy's got other ideas.
542
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,251
It could be it's a little bit
empty on diesel.
543
00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:29,387
Michael: OK.
544
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:30,587
Well, have you ever filled it
up?
545
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:31,522
I've never filled it up yet.
546
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:33,658
Michael: Well, maybe that's what
it is then [chuckles].
547
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:36,160
So, should we go and get some
diesel?
548
00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:38,162
Billy: I think we should try
that, yeah.
549
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:39,330
Try a bit of diesel.
550
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,832
♪ ♪
551
00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:44,335
[Billy groans]
552
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:48,605
If this doesn't work, we have
got no idea what's wrong with
553
00:21:48,608 --> 00:21:50,041
it, so that will be 6,000 down
the drain.
554
00:21:52,778 --> 00:21:53,678
Right, start her up then.
555
00:21:55,347 --> 00:21:57,348
[beeping]
556
00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:00,451
[beeping]
557
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:02,486
Well, that's great, isn't it?
558
00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:03,688
[birds chirping]
559
00:22:04,289 --> 00:22:05,756
It still doesn't wanna start.
560
00:22:06,592 --> 00:22:08,225
Dick: That sounds like a dead
battery to me.
561
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:10,828
Michael: How long does it take
to charge a battery?
562
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:12,563
I don't know.
563
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:13,964
- Hours?
- Couple.
564
00:22:14,032 --> 00:22:15,399
- Days?
- A couple of hours probably.
565
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,201
Michael: A couple of hours.
566
00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:21,372
Billy: It says it's charging
which means it hasn't got a lot
567
00:22:21,374 --> 00:22:22,406
of power in it, I think.
568
00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:25,409
That might do the job.
569
00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:30,047
'Cause usually it won't charge
if it knows it's got enough
570
00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:31,215
power in it.
571
00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:32,583
Lovely.
572
00:22:33,752 --> 00:22:35,953
We'll sort of leave it to it and
come back to it, I think.
573
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,321
- Michael: OK.
- Yeah.
574
00:22:37,323 --> 00:22:38,255
Michael: Try again in a few
hours.
575
00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:39,056
Yeah, all right then.
576
00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:42,226
♪ ♪
577
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:47,264
Dick: Billy and Gwendoline have
a lot invested in this chateau.
578
00:22:47,332 --> 00:22:51,402
They bought it for 1,000,050
euros, with a large mortgage and
579
00:22:51,404 --> 00:22:53,270
with the help of an inheritance
from Gwendoline's late mother.
580
00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:56,407
♪ ♪
581
00:22:58,076 --> 00:23:00,511
You can see my mom here when she
was a young girl.
582
00:23:01,747 --> 00:23:03,480
And then there with me.
583
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:05,683
There's a drawing of her that
Michael did here.
584
00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:08,853
And I've got her here as well.
585
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:11,422
♪ ♪
586
00:23:12,458 --> 00:23:13,991
Dick: It's just two years since
Gwendoline's mother died.
587
00:23:15,461 --> 00:23:18,829
Losing my mom, obviously, wasn't
easy, and it's still not easy,
588
00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:23,367
but, um--well yeah, I wanted to
build something with what she
589
00:23:23,435 --> 00:23:24,568
left me.
590
00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:28,138
I know she would have loved this
place with the forest.
591
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:31,575
My mom used to love nature,
everything that was green,
592
00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:32,443
going out for walks.
593
00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:35,646
And actually, when we came to
visit this place, we had a walk
594
00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:36,914
in the forest.
595
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:41,385
I could see my mom there,
and--[crying]--I knew she would
596
00:23:41,387 --> 00:23:42,019
have loved it.
597
00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:43,254
[sniffles]
598
00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:46,390
♪ ♪
599
00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:51,929
Achieving what we're trying to
do here, in a way, is also for
600
00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:57,067
my mom because she--she allowed
us to do this, so we owe it to
601
00:23:57,069 --> 00:23:58,669
her to make it work.
602
00:23:58,737 --> 00:23:59,437
Billy: Hmm.
603
00:24:00,005 --> 00:24:02,640
♪ ♪
604
00:24:04,142 --> 00:24:05,943
Dick: When they found this
magnificent place for sale last
605
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:08,612
year, they had no idea of the
history that lay within its
606
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:09,913
walls.
607
00:24:11,817 --> 00:24:15,052
The chateau is named after the
Basmaignée family, who some 300
608
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:18,155
years ago were royal advisors to
King Louis 14th.
609
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:23,027
Gwendoline: This over here is
supposed to be Madame de
610
00:24:23,095 --> 00:24:26,396
Basmaignée who gave her
name--basically Basmaignée was
611
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:29,567
the family name of the family
who built the chateau, and it's
612
00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:32,769
supposed to be Madame de
Basmaignée going hunting on her
613
00:24:32,838 --> 00:24:33,838
horse.
614
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:35,506
♪ ♪
615
00:24:36,842 --> 00:24:38,108
Dick: Madame de Basmaignée was
the last member of the family to
616
00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:39,977
inhabit the chateau before it
was sold following the French
617
00:24:40,045 --> 00:24:41,679
Revolution.
618
00:24:43,316 --> 00:24:46,216
Since then, it's had dozens of
owners, some more careful than
619
00:24:46,285 --> 00:24:47,551
others.
620
00:24:48,787 --> 00:24:50,254
Gwendoline: The funny thing here
is that you can see that some of
621
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:54,858
the panelling is missing, and
actually we were told that the
622
00:24:54,861 --> 00:24:57,961
previous, previous, previous
owners weren't paying their
623
00:24:57,964 --> 00:25:03,133
bills anymore or anything, so
the house and--and its contents
624
00:25:03,202 --> 00:25:03,934
were sold in an auction.
625
00:25:03,936 --> 00:25:05,135
Billy: Yeah.
626
00:25:05,137 --> 00:25:06,937
So, people came and bought
everything that was in the
627
00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:08,439
house.
628
00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:11,475
And apparently some people
bought the panelling from the
629
00:25:11,543 --> 00:25:12,476
walls.
630
00:25:12,545 --> 00:25:13,243
Billy: Because they liked it, I
suppose.
631
00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:14,378
So, they just ripped it off.
632
00:25:14,947 --> 00:25:16,547
♪ ♪
633
00:25:17,283 --> 00:25:18,282
Billy: I think stage by stage,
you get around to doing all
634
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:19,650
these rooms.
635
00:25:19,718 --> 00:25:22,653
Yeah, we're not expecting all of
it to be done in a year or two.
636
00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:24,655
- Billy: No.
- We know it's gonna take--
637
00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:25,789
- No miracles.
- Yeah.
638
00:25:25,857 --> 00:25:27,024
But it will get done.
639
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,493
♪ ♪
640
00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:35,633
♪ ♪
641
00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:40,704
Dick: Having left the cherry
picker on charge for a few
642
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,372
hours, it's time for Billy and
Michael to see if it's working,
643
00:25:42,441 --> 00:25:44,742
so they can finally get up on
the roof and fix the chimney.
644
00:25:45,311 --> 00:25:46,644
♪ ♪
645
00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:48,979
Billy: This is the last resort
really.
646
00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:51,715
We--we've done so many things to
it that I don't know what else
647
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:53,384
could be wrong with it, so
fingers crossed.
648
00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:57,020
I mean, if it doesn't start, I
don't know what we're gonna do,
649
00:25:57,089 --> 00:25:58,255
so hopefully it works.
650
00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:01,258
There's a--there's an ignition
button.
651
00:26:01,994 --> 00:26:02,860
It's a small black button.
652
00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:04,428
Push it.
653
00:26:05,664 --> 00:26:05,930
- With a turn--with a turn--
- Billy: Yeah, that's it.
654
00:26:05,998 --> 00:26:06,864
[beeping]
655
00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:08,098
Billy: Push it.
656
00:26:08,166 --> 00:26:09,633
[picker fires up]
657
00:26:10,469 --> 00:26:11,468
It works!
658
00:26:13,605 --> 00:26:14,672
That's brilliant, I'm really
pleased.
659
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,607
♪ ♪
660
00:26:19,478 --> 00:26:20,878
Dick: Fixing the cherry picker,
that's the easy part.
661
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,514
The real work is still to come.
662
00:26:26,552 --> 00:26:28,118
♪ ♪
663
00:26:28,186 --> 00:26:29,453
[birds chirping]
664
00:26:30,656 --> 00:26:32,255
Dick: In the Loire Valley,
sisters Marion and Tanya,
665
00:26:32,324 --> 00:26:34,358
along with their families, are
preparing their chateau for the
666
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:37,695
first guests of the season who
arrive in 48-hours' time.
667
00:26:38,664 --> 00:26:39,763
I've got this list to do.
668
00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:41,899
♪ ♪
669
00:26:42,567 --> 00:26:44,168
Dick: The sisters are catching
up with paperwork while Marion's
670
00:26:44,236 --> 00:26:45,736
husband John is seeing to the
toilets.
671
00:26:47,039 --> 00:26:47,838
- [chatter]
- [laughs]
672
00:26:52,345 --> 00:26:54,077
Marion: Would you be willing to
go and get another loo seat and
673
00:26:54,146 --> 00:26:55,112
fit it?
674
00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:55,879
I'll go and get one if you want
me to, yes.
675
00:26:55,881 --> 00:26:56,614
Tanya: That would be fantastic.
676
00:26:57,850 --> 00:26:58,882
Please, could you go and get
another loo seat and fit it?
677
00:26:58,950 --> 00:26:59,650
OK.
678
00:26:59,652 --> 00:27:00,818
Tanya: Thank you, John [laughs].
679
00:27:01,753 --> 00:27:03,587
I don't think he's too happy at
all about doing that.
680
00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:07,157
Marion: Do you think it's worth
us getting two loo seats?
681
00:27:08,661 --> 00:27:09,827
- John--
- John: Yes?
682
00:27:10,796 --> 00:27:12,396
Why don't you take that loo
seat, because all loo seats are
683
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:13,597
slightly different sizes.
684
00:27:15,401 --> 00:27:17,134
Yeah?
685
00:27:17,202 --> 00:27:18,902
John: All loo seats are the
same?
686
00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:20,104
[Tanya laughs]
687
00:27:21,139 --> 00:27:22,573
We're constantly having problems
[chuckles].
688
00:27:23,375 --> 00:27:24,608
John, just take it anyway!
689
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:27,544
You girls really know a lot
about loo seats.
690
00:27:27,613 --> 00:27:28,445
[Tanya laughs]
691
00:27:29,114 --> 00:27:29,713
Marion: Anyway, just get it
right.
692
00:27:29,781 --> 00:27:30,681
Get it right.
693
00:27:31,216 --> 00:27:32,816
♪ ♪
694
00:27:33,685 --> 00:27:35,352
Dick: 30 minutes later, John and
his sons Ben and Dan are on the
695
00:27:35,421 --> 00:27:36,754
prowl for a replacement.
696
00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:39,556
38 euros!
697
00:27:39,558 --> 00:27:40,958
40 euros!
698
00:27:41,026 --> 00:27:41,925
34 euros!
699
00:27:42,561 --> 00:27:44,161
- Boy 1: Ouch!
- 39 euros.
700
00:27:46,965 --> 00:27:49,199
- Boy 2: I want a tiger one.
- It's quite good, isn't it?
701
00:27:52,037 --> 00:27:54,071
Yeah, no, that's quite
off-putting isn't it, really?
702
00:27:54,139 --> 00:27:55,505
It's a bit of a tough one
actually.
703
00:27:55,508 --> 00:27:57,307
Boy: Dad's really picky with his
toilet seats.
704
00:27:57,309 --> 00:27:58,442
John: Sorry.
705
00:27:59,778 --> 00:28:01,845
Dick: John makes his choice, but
just as he's leaving, one loo
706
00:28:01,847 --> 00:28:03,380
seat stands out from all the
rest.
707
00:28:04,216 --> 00:28:05,749
Well that is quite clever.
708
00:28:05,817 --> 00:28:07,051
Why not have a bit of fun?
709
00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:10,287
Dick: For John's sake, I hope
Marion's as impressed with the
710
00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:11,355
novelty loo seat as he seems to
be.
711
00:28:13,558 --> 00:28:14,258
- Merci beaucoup.
- Woman: Au revoir.
712
00:28:15,327 --> 00:28:15,859
- Bonjour, au revoir.
- Woman: À bientôt.
713
00:28:17,129 --> 00:28:18,529
John: Come on.
714
00:28:19,431 --> 00:28:21,398
♪ ♪
715
00:28:22,267 --> 00:28:23,867
Dick: His wife Marion and
sister-in-law Tanya were
716
00:28:23,935 --> 00:28:25,803
convinced loo seats came in all
shapes and sizes.
717
00:28:27,573 --> 00:28:28,605
Turns out they were wrong.
718
00:28:29,641 --> 00:28:30,474
There you go, girls.
719
00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:32,810
Tanya: What you got there, John?
720
00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,378
- Two loo seats.
- [laughs]
721
00:28:35,313 --> 00:28:37,781
They are all the same; they are
universal.
722
00:28:38,784 --> 00:28:39,616
I've got you a nice wooden
one--
723
00:28:39,684 --> 00:28:40,884
[Tanya laughs]
724
00:28:42,087 --> 00:28:44,654
John:--and I've got this other
one, but it says "E=MC2" on top
725
00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:46,156
of it--
726
00:28:46,158 --> 00:28:47,224
[Tanya laughs]
727
00:28:47,292 --> 00:28:49,159
--but they strike out the "M"
and they put "W."
728
00:28:50,328 --> 00:28:52,396
"E=WC2."
729
00:28:54,499 --> 00:28:55,699
Tanya: What does the E stand
for?
730
00:28:55,768 --> 00:28:57,100
- Marion: Energy.
- John: Energy, it's the--
731
00:28:57,103 --> 00:28:59,470
Tanya: No, but in the loo
equation [laughs]?
732
00:29:00,005 --> 00:29:00,837
Are you happy with that?
733
00:29:00,906 --> 00:29:01,438
Tanya: We're happy with that,
John.
734
00:29:01,507 --> 00:29:02,473
Let's go.
735
00:29:02,541 --> 00:29:04,074
Come on, king of the loo seats.
736
00:29:04,143 --> 00:29:05,075
Figured them before.
737
00:29:06,445 --> 00:29:08,678
Dick: But once it's been fitted,
it seems the sisters aren't too
738
00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:09,847
happy with a wooden one either.
739
00:29:11,216 --> 00:29:12,616
I think white would have been
better.
740
00:29:12,684 --> 00:29:14,417
[Tanya laughs]
741
00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:17,788
Hate to say it, but it's a white
room with white--white tiles.
742
00:29:19,058 --> 00:29:21,325
- Anyway, there's no wood.
- John: Bloody loo seat.
743
00:29:22,595 --> 00:29:26,964
I think it's better than the
E=M--WC2 or whatever.
744
00:29:28,234 --> 00:29:30,601
John: Well, you said get two,
and I--
745
00:29:30,669 --> 00:29:34,204
[laughing] Of course we meant
two totally different loo seats,
746
00:29:34,273 --> 00:29:35,806
John.
747
00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:36,607
I think I'm right.
748
00:29:38,043 --> 00:29:40,310
I hate to say, you know what, it
doesn't matter what I do, it's
749
00:29:40,378 --> 00:29:41,411
gonna be wrong.
750
00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:43,981
Dammed if you do, and dammed if
you don't.
751
00:29:44,049 --> 00:29:45,315
[Tanya laughs]
752
00:29:46,651 --> 00:29:48,385
Voilà, there's the loo seat.
753
00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:49,920
- Marion: Well done, John.
- Well done, John.
754
00:29:50,856 --> 00:29:51,889
A bit of splashback on the other
one here.
755
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:53,857
And then a beer.
756
00:29:53,925 --> 00:29:54,991
[groans]
757
00:29:56,661 --> 00:29:58,195
Dick: He deserves one, but he
can't go too mad.
758
00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:00,664
♪ ♪
759
00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:05,168
The first guests arrive in less
than 48 hours, so everyone will
760
00:30:05,237 --> 00:30:07,471
need their whits about them if
they're going to get this place
761
00:30:07,539 --> 00:30:08,572
ready on time.
762
00:30:09,107 --> 00:30:10,808
♪ ♪
763
00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:13,177
♪ ♪
764
00:30:13,745 --> 00:30:14,678
[birds chirping]
765
00:30:16,048 --> 00:30:18,448
Dick: 400 miles east at Abbaye
de la Bussière, Clive needs to
766
00:30:18,517 --> 00:30:20,350
lower the pond level to fit a
new pump to the fountain.
767
00:30:22,754 --> 00:30:24,988
But despite finally plucking up
the courage to get into the
768
00:30:25,057 --> 00:30:27,991
pond, pulling the plug doesn't
appear to have made a great deal
769
00:30:27,993 --> 00:30:28,859
of difference.
770
00:30:29,461 --> 00:30:30,994
♪ ♪
771
00:30:32,297 --> 00:30:33,330
It's not draining away.
772
00:30:35,067 --> 00:30:37,434
The pipe from the plug goes down
into an aqueduct, and the
773
00:30:37,436 --> 00:30:38,969
aqueduct then runs into another
aqueduct.
774
00:30:41,439 --> 00:30:42,272
Not moving at all.
775
00:30:43,409 --> 00:30:45,676
♪ ♪
776
00:30:47,212 --> 00:30:48,879
Dick: Beneath the abbey, a
network of 12th century
777
00:30:48,947 --> 00:30:51,048
aqueducts carry water around the
estate.
778
00:30:52,484 --> 00:30:55,052
The pond water is supposed to
drain out into the system too.
779
00:30:56,454 --> 00:31:00,023
The problem is monks didn't
leave me any plans, and so I
780
00:31:00,091 --> 00:31:01,525
don't know where it runs.
781
00:31:02,427 --> 00:31:04,862
Unless I go down into the
aqueduct itself and have a look.
782
00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:08,398
♪ ♪
783
00:31:09,100 --> 00:31:10,167
Right, let's have a look.
784
00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:12,936
[birds chirping]
785
00:31:14,306 --> 00:31:17,974
So this aqueduct, this runs from
the river half vault at the
786
00:31:17,977 --> 00:31:20,043
back of the building, comes all
around the reception,
787
00:31:20,112 --> 00:31:22,446
under the patio, and then right
down to the lake.
788
00:31:23,081 --> 00:31:24,314
♪ ♪
789
00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:26,483
[birds chirping]
790
00:31:28,653 --> 00:31:30,587
Dick: Clive suspects a blockage
somewhere is stopping the pond
791
00:31:30,655 --> 00:31:32,022
from draining out.
792
00:31:34,026 --> 00:31:35,626
And there's only one way to find
out for sure.
793
00:31:36,194 --> 00:31:37,261
Clive: Let's go caving.
794
00:31:37,730 --> 00:31:40,330
♪ ♪
795
00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:42,065
[groans]
796
00:31:43,202 --> 00:31:44,268
See ya later.
797
00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:47,104
You see anything?
798
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,306
Clive: Yes--well, come down and
have a look.
799
00:31:49,374 --> 00:31:50,707
No thanks [chuckles].
800
00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:53,343
- [water running]
- Clive: There's our pump.
801
00:31:54,546 --> 00:31:55,646
Got pipe on the left.
802
00:31:57,082 --> 00:31:58,482
There's nothing up there
[grunts].
803
00:31:59,351 --> 00:32:01,418
Nothing at all, what I can see.
804
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:04,388
[water running]
805
00:32:06,458 --> 00:32:07,925
It takes me back to my old
caving days, this does.
806
00:32:08,894 --> 00:32:10,093
Time to get up, time for plan B.
807
00:32:10,696 --> 00:32:12,062
♪ ♪
808
00:32:12,998 --> 00:32:14,798
Dick: Unfortunately for Clive,
plan B means he's going to have
809
00:32:14,866 --> 00:32:15,832
to get back into the pond.
810
00:32:17,035 --> 00:32:17,868
And now I'm back to square one
again.
811
00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:22,472
♪ ♪
812
00:32:24,676 --> 00:32:26,042
Dick: Back at Chateau de la
Basmaignée, Billy's got the
813
00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:27,177
cherry picker up and running.
814
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,181
But before venturing onto the
roof to fix the chimney,
815
00:32:31,249 --> 00:32:32,983
he needs a safety harness.
816
00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:35,819
♪ ♪
817
00:32:36,322 --> 00:32:37,754
Billy: One leg goes through
there.
818
00:32:38,924 --> 00:32:41,524
Dick: And squeezing into it is
proving to be another unexpected
819
00:32:41,527 --> 00:32:42,592
challenge.
820
00:32:42,661 --> 00:32:44,428
Oh, that's a bit tight.
821
00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:47,597
I feel like I'm a--in 50 Shadesof Grey.
822
00:32:48,334 --> 00:32:49,399
[both laugh]
823
00:32:50,168 --> 00:32:50,934
Michael: You're all strapped up
in it.
824
00:32:51,003 --> 00:32:51,935
I'm all strapped up.
825
00:32:52,003 --> 00:32:52,602
Right, good luck.
826
00:32:52,671 --> 00:32:53,370
See you when I'm back on Earth.
827
00:32:53,438 --> 00:32:54,471
See ya later [laughs].
828
00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:57,074
♪ ♪
829
00:32:57,976 --> 00:32:59,276
Dick: The cherry picker will
need to be at its full stretch
830
00:32:59,344 --> 00:33:01,244
of 22 metres for Billy to reach
the chimney.
831
00:33:02,347 --> 00:33:05,382
It's pretty high up here, so I'm
not looking forward to it
832
00:33:06,084 --> 00:33:07,351
[chuckles].
833
00:33:08,687 --> 00:33:09,686
I think he'll be fine.
834
00:33:09,754 --> 00:33:11,021
He's quite good at this sort of
thing.
835
00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:13,757
I'm absolutely terrified.
836
00:33:15,026 --> 00:33:16,259
Michael: How's the view up
there, Billy?
837
00:33:16,996 --> 00:33:18,128
I can see England from here.
838
00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:20,230
♪ ♪
839
00:33:20,899 --> 00:33:22,899
Dick: A quick inspection reveals
the chimney is riddled with
840
00:33:22,968 --> 00:33:25,202
holes where the 200-year-old
mortar has worn away.
841
00:33:26,805 --> 00:33:28,939
If you look at the size of the
gap, I mean, I can put my hand
842
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,740
in it, so it's a big-old gap,
and that's where all the smoke's
843
00:33:30,809 --> 00:33:31,742
coming out.
844
00:33:32,577 --> 00:33:33,677
Just don't look down [laughs].
845
00:33:34,413 --> 00:33:36,279
♪ ♪
846
00:33:37,515 --> 00:33:39,349
Dick: Filling joints in masonry
with mortar like this is called
847
00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:40,650
pointing.
848
00:33:41,453 --> 00:33:44,855
I've never done this before, so
it should be all right.
849
00:33:45,824 --> 00:33:47,491
[chuckles]
850
00:33:49,227 --> 00:33:52,062
Going up about 20 metres and
whacking a bit of cement in a
851
00:33:52,064 --> 00:33:56,199
hole, it's not the sort of thing
you imagine when you buy a
852
00:33:56,268 --> 00:33:59,403
chateau, but--[chuckles]--but
you gotta do these things.
853
00:34:02,007 --> 00:34:04,808
This beats a 9-to-5 job back in
England, it does [chuckles].
854
00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:08,478
A bit scary, but as long as he's
confident up there, it's all
855
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:09,346
right.
856
00:34:10,015 --> 00:34:10,981
I wouldn't do it myself though.
857
00:34:11,516 --> 00:34:13,617
♪ ♪
858
00:34:14,219 --> 00:34:15,585
Dick: Nice pointing, Billy.
859
00:34:16,754 --> 00:34:18,688
After nearly two hours on the
roof, he's just about done.
860
00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:21,158
Have you managed to finish it
then?
861
00:34:21,226 --> 00:34:22,358
- Yeah, it's all done.
- Michael: Oh, brilliant.
862
00:34:22,427 --> 00:34:24,227
Hold on.
863
00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:26,896
Let's go down.
864
00:34:26,899 --> 00:34:28,365
- [cherry picker shakes]
- Oh, I don't like that noise.
865
00:34:28,933 --> 00:34:30,000
Do you?
866
00:34:30,602 --> 00:34:32,602
♪ ♪
867
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,173
- Well done, Billy!
- Gwendoline: Yay!
868
00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:38,842
- You're braver than us.
- Billy: I am.
869
00:34:39,344 --> 00:34:40,610
[everyone laughs]
870
00:34:41,212 --> 00:34:42,846
You're nuts, huh?
871
00:34:44,115 --> 00:34:45,582
Dick: All that's left to do now
is test Billy's pointing by
872
00:34:45,584 --> 00:34:46,483
lighting the wood burner.
873
00:34:47,252 --> 00:34:48,585
♪ ♪
874
00:34:49,420 --> 00:34:50,386
It's working.
875
00:34:50,455 --> 00:34:51,688
Yeah, that's why it's coming out
of the chimney.
876
00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:52,589
Yeah, well done, guys.
877
00:34:53,124 --> 00:34:55,158
♪ ♪
878
00:34:55,994 --> 00:34:57,627
Dick: It's worked.
879
00:34:58,796 --> 00:35:00,097
Gwendoline, Billy, and Michael
can heat the chateau for free.
880
00:35:00,999 --> 00:35:02,265
But the work doesn't stop here.
881
00:35:03,335 --> 00:35:04,734
There's still lots to do before
they're ready to welcome their
882
00:35:04,802 --> 00:35:06,103
first guests.
883
00:35:08,706 --> 00:35:10,507
They're coming in three weeks in
this house where we live at the
884
00:35:10,575 --> 00:35:13,676
moment, so we need to get out of
it--[chuckles]--and get it
885
00:35:13,679 --> 00:35:15,078
ready.
886
00:35:16,281 --> 00:35:19,749
We've got to move in in three
weeks, so there's a lot to do.
887
00:35:20,285 --> 00:35:20,917
[chuckles]
888
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:22,119
♪ ♪
889
00:35:26,925 --> 00:35:28,792
♪ ♪
890
00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,227
[birds chirping]
891
00:35:31,429 --> 00:35:34,130
Dick: In Burgundy, Abbaye de la
Bussière is a high-end luxury
892
00:35:34,133 --> 00:35:36,166
hotel that welcomes guests from
all over the world.
893
00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:40,303
So, a blocked pond and a broken
fountain simply won't do.
894
00:35:42,173 --> 00:35:43,240
[Clive laughs]
895
00:35:45,377 --> 00:35:47,310
Dick: Having failed to find the
mystery blockage in the 12th
896
00:35:47,312 --> 00:35:50,980
century drains, British owner
Clive is going to tackle it from
897
00:35:50,983 --> 00:35:52,215
the pond side instead.
898
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:54,684
Clive: Got a jet wash gun.
899
00:35:55,988 --> 00:35:59,389
I'm hoping that this instrument
here, the piping, which you
900
00:35:59,457 --> 00:36:03,193
attach onto here--I'm hoping
it's gonna clear up, so that's
901
00:36:03,261 --> 00:36:04,127
what we're hoping.
902
00:36:05,129 --> 00:36:07,097
♪ ♪
903
00:36:07,765 --> 00:36:09,532
Dick: It means Clive will have
to get back in the pond, and the
904
00:36:09,535 --> 00:36:11,701
hotel's general manager Michael
has come along for moral
905
00:36:11,769 --> 00:36:13,003
support.
906
00:36:15,306 --> 00:36:16,773
Oh, I just got a wet groin
[laughs].
907
00:36:18,143 --> 00:36:19,709
That's cold.
908
00:36:20,745 --> 00:36:21,978
Dick: But just when he seems to
be making headway--
909
00:36:24,082 --> 00:36:25,281
Michael: It trips itself out.
910
00:36:25,350 --> 00:36:26,449
- Clive: Oh has it?
- Michael: Yeah.
911
00:36:28,086 --> 00:36:29,486
So we might have fused the whole
abbey [laughs].
912
00:36:31,923 --> 00:36:33,023
Two different plugs it's not
working on.
913
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:35,225
[Michael speaking in French]
914
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,797
Dick: So now Plan B's out the
window, it's time to improvise.
915
00:36:43,435 --> 00:36:46,836
If plan C doesn't work, you
start plan D, E, F, and G, and
916
00:36:46,904 --> 00:36:47,938
eventually you'll get there.
917
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:50,640
♪ ♪
918
00:36:51,776 --> 00:36:53,009
Dick: Plan C is a gold
old-fashioned drain rod.
919
00:36:56,414 --> 00:36:57,447
"What did you do this aft?"
920
00:36:57,515 --> 00:36:58,781
"I spent my afternoon rodding."
921
00:36:58,784 --> 00:36:59,983
[chuckles]
922
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,286
♪ ♪
923
00:37:04,422 --> 00:37:05,889
- [water travelling]
- Can you hear that?
924
00:37:06,991 --> 00:37:07,824
Cracked it.
925
00:37:08,393 --> 00:37:09,059
[bleep]
926
00:37:09,127 --> 00:37:10,327
That must be calcium.
927
00:37:11,095 --> 00:37:12,062
[grunts]
928
00:37:12,530 --> 00:37:14,130
♪ ♪
929
00:37:14,198 --> 00:37:16,165
Dick: Using the rods, Clive's
managed to dislodge a buildup
930
00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:19,602
of calcium or limescale in the
pipes, about four metres between
931
00:37:19,671 --> 00:37:20,971
the pond and the aqueduct.
932
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,273
My wife's got me on a detox.
933
00:37:24,476 --> 00:37:26,476
I reckon tonight deserves a good
glass of wine.
934
00:37:27,312 --> 00:37:28,979
♪ ♪
935
00:37:29,814 --> 00:37:31,548
Dick: Blockage removed, finally
the water begins to drain away.
936
00:37:34,152 --> 00:37:36,653
If you want a comfortable life,
don't buy an abbey [chuckles].
937
00:37:38,656 --> 00:37:40,056
♪ ♪
938
00:37:40,958 --> 00:37:42,626
Dick: An hour later, the water
level has dropped enough to fit
939
00:37:42,694 --> 00:37:46,929
the new pump, so it's back into
the pond one last time.
940
00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:50,834
[door creaks]
941
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:54,537
Clive: Fuse No. 19.
942
00:37:55,473 --> 00:37:56,339
There we go.
943
00:37:57,576 --> 00:37:59,009
Let's hope we haven't
electrified the fish [laughs].
944
00:37:59,844 --> 00:38:01,945
♪ ♪
945
00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:03,513
Clive: Hey!
946
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:06,516
I knew we'd get there.
947
00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:08,785
Doesn't that look good?
948
00:38:08,853 --> 00:38:10,119
That's my mini Geneva.
949
00:38:10,188 --> 00:38:12,088
It's quite perfect
950
00:38:12,156 --> 00:38:12,889
Cool.
951
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,659
Dick: It's a good thing Clive
got the fountain fixed--
952
00:38:16,394 --> 00:38:18,161
♪ ♪
953
00:38:18,797 --> 00:38:20,597
Dick:--because tomorrow, some
very special guests are due to
954
00:38:20,665 --> 00:38:21,598
arrive.
955
00:38:23,334 --> 00:38:25,234
They're flying in by helicopter
which is gonna be an amazing
956
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:26,469
start.
957
00:38:27,205 --> 00:38:28,605
He wants to propose to his
girlfriend.
958
00:38:29,841 --> 00:38:31,774
So, the best thing that we can
do is just sort of make it as
959
00:38:31,843 --> 00:38:33,243
special as possible, so that's
the plan.
960
00:38:35,747 --> 00:38:38,548
♪ ♪
961
00:38:39,751 --> 00:38:42,085
Dick: 400 miles away in the
Loire Valley, it's the final day
962
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:46,723
getting the 9-bedroom holiday
gîte Chateau de Bois Giraud set
963
00:38:46,791 --> 00:38:50,560
up for the holiday season, and
sisters Marion and Tanya need to
964
00:38:50,628 --> 00:38:53,496
get the whole place tidied
before the team of local carpet
965
00:38:53,498 --> 00:38:54,864
cleaners arrive in an hour.
966
00:38:55,734 --> 00:38:56,800
I've done enough jobs, Mom!
967
00:38:57,702 --> 00:38:58,768
Marion: Oh, look at you.
968
00:39:00,772 --> 00:39:02,438
Dick: One of Marion's last jobs
is to check on the chateau's
969
00:39:02,507 --> 00:39:03,406
cellar.
970
00:39:03,875 --> 00:39:04,841
♪ ♪
971
00:39:06,978 --> 00:39:08,178
[door creaks]
972
00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:11,514
Dick: She wants to check that
weeds aren't growing in the only
973
00:39:11,516 --> 00:39:13,249
available patch of sunlight down
there.
974
00:39:14,919 --> 00:39:19,355
Marion: It gets things growing
up and through the crate.
975
00:39:19,424 --> 00:39:22,525
And then they grow up there, and
that turns into a bit of a
976
00:39:22,527 --> 00:39:26,329
jungle, but actually, the weed
killer from last year looks like
977
00:39:26,331 --> 00:39:27,697
it's kinda done its thing.
978
00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:31,734
Dick: These cool cellars would
have been used for food storage
979
00:39:31,803 --> 00:39:33,303
in the days before fridges and
freezers.
980
00:39:34,405 --> 00:39:35,839
Marion: So these, they're apple
juice.
981
00:39:37,108 --> 00:39:39,475
We were just, obviously, feeling
brave, and then we all tried it,
982
00:39:39,478 --> 00:39:40,477
and we're all still alive.
983
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,012
These are just empty bottles.
984
00:39:43,581 --> 00:39:44,881
I know, shame, they're all
empty.
985
00:39:45,650 --> 00:39:46,750
I suppose you hang meat on
these, don't you?
986
00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:49,452
♪ ♪
987
00:39:50,588 --> 00:39:53,222
Dick: Upstairs, the carpet
cleaners have arrived, which
988
00:39:53,225 --> 00:39:55,058
gives Tanya a chance to try out
her French before she leaves.
989
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:56,393
Do come in.
990
00:39:57,429 --> 00:39:58,061
♪ ♪
991
00:39:58,897 --> 00:39:59,429
- Bed.
- [women grunt and laugh]
992
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:07,203
Just do, do, do, do, do.
993
00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:10,874
- Tanya: [inaudible].
- [woman speaking in French]
994
00:40:12,244 --> 00:40:12,842
Oh, superb.
995
00:40:14,178 --> 00:40:15,578
Window--woo, woo, woo.
996
00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:17,714
[woman speaking in French]
997
00:40:18,115 --> 00:40:18,782
[laughs]
998
00:40:19,184 --> 00:40:20,316
Tanya: OK [laughs].
999
00:40:20,751 --> 00:40:22,285
♪ ♪
1000
00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:26,289
Tanya: I speak no French; they
speak a tiny bit of English,
1001
00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:30,226
but we just resulted to sign
language and noises, and that
1002
00:40:30,294 --> 00:40:31,494
worked really well actually.
1003
00:40:33,030 --> 00:40:34,964
Dick: The chateau's nine
bedrooms all need to be done in
1004
00:40:34,966 --> 00:40:36,699
time for the first paying guests
who arrive tomorrow.
1005
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:40,870
Tanya: It's not grand having the
carpet cleaners in the day
1006
00:40:40,872 --> 00:40:45,274
before, because it needs 24
hours for the carpets to dry,
1007
00:40:45,277 --> 00:40:48,278
so it is going to be a rush
today to get everything in.
1008
00:40:49,380 --> 00:40:50,947
♪ ♪
1009
00:40:56,387 --> 00:40:57,854
♪ ♪
1010
00:40:58,923 --> 00:41:02,058
Dick: And it's not her lucky
day, as there's a problem with
1011
00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:02,759
the carpet cleaning machine.
1012
00:41:02,827 --> 00:41:03,893
It's not working.
1013
00:41:05,196 --> 00:41:07,430
We're already very, very short
of time, and we really don't
1014
00:41:07,499 --> 00:41:10,366
have time for a carpet cleaner
that doesn't want to do its job,
1015
00:41:10,435 --> 00:41:11,601
so we need this like a hole in
the head.
1016
00:41:14,205 --> 00:41:14,737
Woman: Oops.
1017
00:41:15,307 --> 00:41:17,240
♪ ♪
1018
00:41:18,243 --> 00:41:20,710
Tanya: Now the boss for the
cleaning company for the carpet
1019
00:41:20,778 --> 00:41:22,879
cleaner has arrived, come and
had a look at it.
1020
00:41:22,881 --> 00:41:24,447
So I'm hopeful that he can get
it going.
1021
00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:27,717
Let's hope the carpet cleaner
listens to him and does as it's
1022
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:28,852
told.
1023
00:41:31,222 --> 00:41:32,088
[cleaner zaps]
1024
00:41:32,657 --> 00:41:34,357
♪ ♪
1025
00:41:35,727 --> 00:41:37,527
Dick: Outside, the pool's hose
has been left on overnight,
1026
00:41:37,595 --> 00:41:39,596
and it's finally clean
of full clean water.
1027
00:41:41,399 --> 00:41:42,532
Marion: See Pepper?
1028
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:43,166
Dick: And Marion, John, and the
kids are all set to leave.
1029
00:41:44,135 --> 00:41:45,001
Marion: I just need to get my
passport.
1030
00:41:45,736 --> 00:41:47,604
- Check my passports.
- Dick: Almost.
1031
00:41:48,540 --> 00:41:49,906
Marion: Where's my little
day--oh.
1032
00:41:51,776 --> 00:41:53,309
Dick: They won't be back until
September.
1033
00:41:54,412 --> 00:41:55,512
- Tanya: Bye John!
- John: See ya later.
1034
00:41:56,147 --> 00:41:56,913
Tanya: Thanks for your help.
1035
00:41:56,981 --> 00:41:58,114
Thanks for your toilet seats.
1036
00:41:58,683 --> 00:42:00,149
Dick: Which means the last few
jobs are left for Tanya.
1037
00:42:00,885 --> 00:42:01,751
♪ ♪
1038
00:42:02,687 --> 00:42:03,219
Tanya: See ya then!
1039
00:42:03,287 --> 00:42:04,754
Bye!
1040
00:42:05,489 --> 00:42:06,723
- Have a good trip!
- Cleone: Bye!
1041
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:08,491
Dick: Back inside, there's some
good news.
1042
00:42:09,561 --> 00:42:10,460
- Oh, that's great.
- Voilà.
1043
00:42:11,095 --> 00:42:12,295
Thank you, thank you.
1044
00:42:12,830 --> 00:42:14,197
Lovely.
1045
00:42:14,966 --> 00:42:17,100
It seemed like some sort of
blockage.
1046
00:42:17,168 --> 00:42:19,635
Dick: With the carpet cleaner
back in the game, Tanya can do a
1047
00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:21,337
task she always puts off to the
end of her visit.
1048
00:42:22,907 --> 00:42:23,773
Tanya: Oh, let's see what the
flies are like.
1049
00:42:25,242 --> 00:42:27,777
Dick: One of the chateau's
en-suites seems to be a
1050
00:42:27,845 --> 00:42:28,878
favourite residence for these
little beasties.
1051
00:42:29,848 --> 00:42:31,114
Well, there are a few in there.
1052
00:42:32,883 --> 00:42:35,351
Dick: From bitter experience, we
know every chateau has flies,
1053
00:42:35,420 --> 00:42:37,420
and anyone who says they don't
is telling porkies.
1054
00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:41,491
Just run it and hope--hope for
the best.
1055
00:42:42,761 --> 00:42:46,596
That isn't going down properly,
or very slowly, that I'm gonna
1056
00:42:46,664 --> 00:42:51,701
have to dismantle under here,
and that'll probably have flies
1057
00:42:51,703 --> 00:42:52,502
in it.
1058
00:42:53,738 --> 00:42:54,871
See what we got.
1059
00:42:56,140 --> 00:42:57,907
Not really very nice.
1060
00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:01,578
So, owning a chateau isn't
glamorous [chuckles].
1061
00:43:02,713 --> 00:43:04,948
Anyone who thinks it is, is
delusional.
1062
00:43:06,050 --> 00:43:07,550
Dick: Yeah, but what a wonderful
place to live.
1063
00:43:08,386 --> 00:43:09,619
Tanya: But that's us done for
now in here.
1064
00:43:10,388 --> 00:43:12,121
♪ ♪
1065
00:43:13,624 --> 00:43:15,291
Dick: Tanya's got to leave in
less than an hour to make her
1066
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:19,028
ferry, so it's a good thing the
carpet cleaners have finished
1067
00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:20,096
their business.
1068
00:43:20,632 --> 00:43:21,431
Ça va?
1069
00:43:22,433 --> 00:43:23,700
It's come up, I'd say, almost as
good as new.
1070
00:43:25,002 --> 00:43:26,102
- Woman: It's good for you?
- It's very good, thank you!
1071
00:43:26,737 --> 00:43:28,504
♪ ♪
1072
00:43:29,007 --> 00:43:29,739
Dick: And after a few last
jobs--
1073
00:43:29,807 --> 00:43:31,608
♪ ♪
1074
00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:35,311
Dick:--some simpler than
others--
1075
00:43:35,914 --> 00:43:37,614
[sighs] Heating.
1076
00:43:38,783 --> 00:43:40,116
So now I do--"press the circle
button."
1077
00:43:42,053 --> 00:43:45,021
Dick:--Chateau de Bois Giraud is
finally ready, just about on
1078
00:43:45,089 --> 00:43:45,955
time.
1079
00:43:47,258 --> 00:43:49,592
It's hard and it's stressful
getting out, but it's all done.
1080
00:43:50,395 --> 00:43:52,128
♪ ♪
1081
00:43:53,197 --> 00:43:55,198
Dick: When the guests arrive
tomorrow to enjoy this
1082
00:43:55,266 --> 00:43:58,401
magnificent chateau, they'll
never even know Tanya,
1083
00:43:58,403 --> 00:44:00,003
her sister, and their
families had ever been here.
1084
00:44:00,739 --> 00:44:01,971
♪ ♪
1085
00:44:03,141 --> 00:44:03,973
[birds chirping]
1086
00:44:04,608 --> 00:44:05,308
♪ ♪
1087
00:44:05,944 --> 00:44:07,209
Dick: Next time:
1088
00:44:07,278 --> 00:44:08,644
Gwen, Billy, and Michael race to
get the chateau ready to move
1089
00:44:08,713 --> 00:44:09,479
into.
1090
00:44:11,049 --> 00:44:12,281
This stuff absolutely stinks.
1091
00:44:13,851 --> 00:44:14,684
But Michael goes AWOL.
1092
00:44:15,687 --> 00:44:16,686
Gwendoline: Michael!
1093
00:44:16,754 --> 00:44:17,620
Michael!
1094
00:44:17,689 --> 00:44:19,222
Michael!
1095
00:44:20,524 --> 00:44:21,724
Dick: Clive and Tanith find
playing Cupid--
1096
00:44:23,028 --> 00:44:25,561
He wants to propose to his
girlfriend, so he's asked us to
1097
00:44:25,630 --> 00:44:26,462
help him.
1098
00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:28,431
Dick:--is easier said than done.
1099
00:44:29,834 --> 00:44:31,500
I need to very discretely get
the gentleman on his own.
1100
00:44:31,569 --> 00:44:32,602
Just in case, I'm loitering with
intent.
1101
00:44:34,038 --> 00:44:35,571
Dick: Things fall apart for a
novice builder.
1102
00:44:35,573 --> 00:44:36,639
OK, gently let it down.
1103
00:44:36,707 --> 00:44:38,074
- [crash]
- Man: Oh.
1104
00:44:40,211 --> 00:44:42,244
Dick: And whilst bargain hunting
at a brocante--
1105
00:44:42,247 --> 00:44:44,080
- Oh, I love it.
- Dick: It is so wrong.
1106
00:44:44,849 --> 00:44:46,182
--Angel finds it hard to stay
focused.
1107
00:44:47,151 --> 00:44:48,117
- [Angel laughs]
- What do you fancy?
1108
00:44:48,119 --> 00:44:49,118
You.
1109
00:44:49,186 --> 00:44:50,186
Dick: You're so full of twaddle.
1110
00:44:50,655 --> 00:44:51,654
Come on.
1111
00:44:52,890 --> 00:44:55,224
♪ ♪
1112
00:44:59,830 --> 00:45:03,866
♪ ♪
1113
00:45:05,436 --> 00:45:08,838
♪ ♪
1114
00:45:11,142 --> 00:45:13,376
♪ ♪
1115
00:45:15,346 --> 00:45:18,014
♪ ♪
82370
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